A Blog Down Under

99 Responses to A Blog Down Under

1. futurecruisedirector says:

   August 19, 2009 at 6:59 pm

   Hey John,

   A bit of humor in the humdrum, monotone always-repeated-word-for-word “this drill is held in accordance with international maritime law and is mandatory for all guests” speech would be a great improvement!! I’ve heard a couple of CD’s at least use vocal tones to liven it up a little bit (which helps), but some humor would really be nice!

   As for Southwest Airlines – yes they do, depending on who your Flight Attendants are, sometimes put one-liners into the typical spiel. One such comment I remember is, upon the part where they are telling you “If you are traveling with young children, put on your oxygen mask first before assisting your child . . .”, I heard one attendant add, “. . . . and if you are traveling with several young children, decide which one you like most, and assist them with their mask”.

   On another flight, the Southwest flight attendant literally SANG the speech.

   Although there is undoubtedly someone, somewhere who may be offended by this type of thing, in my opinion it lightens the atmosphere and gives the airline less of a “corporate” feel.

   I’ve got no idea what the rules & laws are about the “Intenational Maritime Law” spiel are, but if a CD were to liven it up a little bit, I for one, would appreciate it!

   Reply
2. Linda (Mom of DJ) says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:10 pm

   John:

   Tanya son’s (the young man with Asperger’s Syndrome that had the comment about Club O2)
   has the same type of Autism that DJ does.

   Of course, one of the most difficult aspects of this disorder is that every child is unique. Each child’s degree of social engagement is different.

   Having “raised DJ” on cruise ships….I have to say that the ship setting has provided a basket full of life lessons that have helped him develop.

   TANYA:

   My email address is musicalcruiser@hotmail.com, if you would like to chat about how to make your next Carnival cruise the best it can be for your son.

   DJ just completed his 31st Carnival cruise. We started when he was in Elementary School and through the years, Carnival has helped him grow in more ways that I can list here.

   DJ is now 18 and will cruise next month on the Valor without his favorite Club O2 to look forward to. Yet another step in him growing up. We are looking forward to seeing how he handles the new “surroundings”.

   John knows DJ, so it is an easy reference in trying to describe AS to him.

   Linda (Mom of DJ)

   Reply
3. Dutch By Association says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:11 pm

   **IMPORTANT – Follow up to your reply today**

   Thanks John.

   I look forward to your reply with additional information. if it helps and there is an email address I can send something to, I can provide you with the booking number my friend cancelled off of and her information.

   She would like to see Glacier Bay, but the only cruise that does that is in September. This cruise works for her, but apparently not with the FCC policies.

   If someone would like to email me to discuss further, you can email

   Thanks again John. I look forward to any additional info you can learn and share.

   DBA

   Reply
4. Randall says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:13 pm

   John,

   Is there a way to contact you prior to our Oct 11 cruise on the Legend? We are trying to arrange to take some supplies to the orphanage and the schools in Roatan. Thanks

   Reply
5. miss katie says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:13 pm

   Hi John, during one of my flights (can’t remember which airline it was) the flight attendant said, “If this flight should suddenly become a cruise, your seat cushion doubles as a flotation device.” Everybody cracked up and I thought it was brilliant. I wish more flight attendants & captains would add some humor to those boring safety talks.

   Reply
6. lisa wiggs says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:20 pm

   Southwest Airlines does indeed inject a little humor into their safety instructions. Here is what they said on my last flight as we taxied away from the gate: “Welcome aboard Southwest flight number 475 with service to Ft. Lauderdale. If Ft. Lauderdale is not your destination………….. IT IS NOW!”

   Reply
7. Bill (Zydecocruiser) from ZydecoCruiser.com says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:22 pm

   Hi John,

   I’ll have to try to remember some of the Southwest quips and will be flying on them again in a few weeks.

   A few that come to mind:

   “If you are seated next to a small child, or someone acting like one… {about oxygen masks}”

   After a hard, bouncy landing…

   “Be sure to let the Captain know which one of the landings you preferred.”

   When taxiing up to the jet way and people are getting antsy:

   “Not yet…. Not yet… Not yet… GET OUT!”

   One reason Southwest does this is to get people to pay attention to what is being said in otherwise boring and normally repetitive messages. Many passengers will listen for the humor (spelled correctly) but not for safety.

   Reply
8. lisa wiggs says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:23 pm

   Here is another example of Southwest Airlines humour (spelt correctly.) “Please secure your oxygen mask first, before assisting your child with his mask. If you are traveling with more than one child, pick which of them you like better at this time.”

   Reply
9. Ryan says:

   August 19, 2009 at 7:24 pm

   John,

   I think injecting a bit of humor into the lifeboat drill is a great idea. Not a full stand-up routine, of course, but a few good jokes would probably be good. On my cruise a month ago on Princess (part of CCL of course) we laughed at something they said that was actually serious…that in the event of abandoning ship you should walk off, and hold your hand over your mouth and nose. We joked about it when walking into the pool, but it made it so that I remember it now.

   So it could help people remember what to do if there was an emergency, by remembering the joke you told.

   Of course, Mr. Slimfast probably wouldn’t like it if they don’t do it that way on Celebrity but oh well, you can’t win ‘em all.

   Reply
10. Brittany says:

    August 19, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    I checked Celebritys’ site and I do not see a curfew only that the Caption can enable on if need be.

    Here is the policey from the site….

    Curfews
    Ship’s management reserves the right to enact curfews on an individual, group, or ship-wide basis, if in the sole judgment of the ship’s Captain, such steps become necessary to ensure guest or crew member safety.

    …..So In turn should you see the Kid-Hater, Offer a cup of hot coffee and pour it on him! ( I’m kidding of course)

    Reply
11. Randall Ponik says:

    August 19, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    Hi John, regarding Southwest flight attendant humor, there are many examples out on the web – but try this link for a good example:

    Reply
12. Amy B. says:

    August 19, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    Here is an example of what Southwest does with pre-flight safety annoucements. Gets the job done, but with a bit of humor.

    http://laughingsquid.com/hilarious-southwest-airlines-pre-flight-safety-announcement/

    I like it!

    Amy

    Reply
13. Sharon says:

    August 19, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    I actually felt guilty about asking 3 questions after reading CC board on asking too much. I was suprized my questions were answered as they were minor compared to some others. Thank you Mr. Heald for saying you read the comments and reply when you feel is needed.

    Reply
14. Bruce Press says:

    August 19, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    Dear John.
    I am a 5 time cruiser(all Carnival) and I never had a bad CD. They have all been great. I have only been reading the bloggs since the first of August but if you are that much better than the average CD. I have to get your schedule so that I can plan the next Cruise. I currently leave in 12 days for the
    Fascination I know that it will be a great cruise with a great Cd. I can wait to start planing the next cruise with you as the CD
    Thanks

    Bruce

    Reply
15. Stef aka Hockey Addict says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:03 pm

    Hi John!!! =)

    I think Mr. Slimfast needs to join Miss. Iwant2sellbooks on the bottom of the ocean or on RCCL’s payforeverything of the Seas! That guy had no right saying that! I woulda poured that drink down his pants!!

    Muster Drill… I think it would be cool if you told a joke at the beginning and ending of the drill! You would get everyone’s attention in the beginning and have a nice laugh at the end when we are all about to go put away the life vest’s and start the cruise! Just my two cents!

    I agree with everyone else…. the people that are being rude and expecting freebies aren’t very nice. If they have never read the blog and don’t intend to in the future but want a freebie…. ahhh forget it, I can’t continue without being ugly… one of the 365 Steph’s wouldn’t let this get past moderation!

    30 More days!! And 1 more blog til Kye Day!!! =)

    Enjoy your last cruise! I know you are SO excited to see your girls!

    Reply
16. Brenda, Please reply says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    John, as always Thanks for the blog. I read it as soon as I get home from work. It always puts a smile on my face.

    I am on the maiden voyage on the brand spanking new Carnival Dream. I really appreciate the pictures. The question I have today is, how big is the Casino? I got a glimpse from one of the pictures. Will it be the same size as the one on the Carnival Liberty or will it be larger. As you can tell, I am a gambler.

    I know that you will be walking off the Ship as we are walking on. Will you be departing early, afternoon, early evening? Just thought I may have the opportunity to shake your hand. Also, did I read on one of your blog thingys that we may be able to board around 10:30.

    Thanks for all you do.

    Reply
17. retirementman says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    REPLY If You Have Any Time JOHN.

    First of all John, to have a person come and shake your hand and then say to you “it seems like you’ve put on some weight.” is so very rude of him. But unfortunately there are many rude people in this world. He probably was brought up in an outhouse where the smell got to his brain. As far as a curfew, that would probably cause more complaints then it’s worth. Realistically, parents should automatically arrange that but who is going to control it? Not the parents who want to go out and enjoy the evening.
    Waterbirth what a laugh. I have a problem John. I’m overwhelmed with all the great things that I will have to enjoy on the Carnival Dream. The question is, ” How in the heck am I going to find all the time to enjoy everything that this brilliant ship gives me? ” Funny isn’t it. If that is my only problem life is great.
    Now this a serious situation. the guest that said you should ” inject some humor into the lifeboat drill ” is crazy. Many people on a plane never pay attention to the stewardess when she is explaining the rules that could save your life but I do. Same goes with the lifeboat drill. We’ve talked about years ago where even though how many times you’ve cruised you should always have a refresher and you should always be serious. I see many guests have drinks in their hands, and constantly taling when someone is explaining the lifeboat rules. I get very angry and frustrated when this happens. It’s my wife’s and mine that I want saved so I want to make sure that I know specially what to do and where to go. But many of those fun lovers just don’t care. SO…….inject some humour after we are finished the lifeboat drill. He’s totally out of his mind here.
    In a few days you will be in the loving care of your lovely wife Heidi and your beautiful daughter Kye. Enjoy your break and love the two of them but also give yourself a rest. See you my friend.

    Paul F. Pietrangelo

    Reply
18. Melissa Jurgensen says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    John,

    I have never flown Southwest but occasionally on various airlines during the safety drill the flight attendant has made a funny comment or two and it always lightens the mood. One Delta flight attendant particular said two that I will always remember:

    “In the case of a water landing, I will become your cruise director….”

    and

    (While giving instructions on how to use the oxygen mask) “…if you are traveling with a small child, or someone who is acting like a small child, always secure your mask first before helping them…”

    Anyway, I would not be offended if a touch of humor was added occasionally during a lifeboat drill. Regardless, it is a important demonstration that we all need to pay attention to and take seriously, so if humor is not interjected, that is acceptable too!

    Another excellent blog, John!

    Melissa

    Reply
19. Cheryl K says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Johnny Boy? That alone would have had my dander up. Since I have not cruised on brand x, I have no idea what their restrictions or “curfews” are for kids but I doubt there are any. The reason he doesn’t see kids on brand x is because it’s too expensive to take your kids so all those people are now sailing Carnival ships because the want value for their dollar.

    I think there is room for humor in everything. On an Air Tran flight the attendants when demonstrating the mask placement in case of cabin decompression said “when the mask drops down from the compartment, stop screaming and put the mask over your nose and mouth”. Everyone laughed and when it was time to land “please return your seats to the most upright and uncomfortable position possible”. I think people are even more apt to pay attention when the instructions inject a little something humorous.
    Great photos again and I am glad to hear that you finally got off the ship! St. Thomas is my favorite port to shop.

    Reply
20. Cathy says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Thank you for your continued dedication to your blog – I love the pictures (and yes I have booked my Carnival Dream) and look forward to Fridays and KYE!

    Regarding the lifeboat drill – I have always believed that if you make the drill (or anything mundane) more interesting, while keeping the important safety content, your passengers will be more likely to remember the instructions. Now the humor would have to be carefully crafted – but if you can get people to associate an important instruction with a creative antic – there is more probability of that instruction being followed.

    Besides – anytime something out of the ordinary happens, people talk and that will also bring a enthusiasm to a drill. Also, draw in the crew – I still believe that when the senior officers motivate the crew, the passengers smile more!

    Thanks again for all you do – looking forward to my DREAM!

    Reply
21. BIG ED KONEFE says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    John, I think a little humour during the lifeboat drill would even help keep the attention of the guest. They would now listen to hear what the others are laughing about. A lot of good speakers start with some thing funny. I’m sure you could rewrite the whole drill talk and have the guest standing there wishing they had there Depends on. Have it ready to try it out on us bloggers on BC4.

    BIG ED

    Reply
22. Terri910 says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:25 pm

    Dear John:
    I think interjecting just a bit of humor into the muster drill could be done appropriately. I have experienced the more “entertaining” flight safety instructions on Southwest Airlines, but I’m afraid it’s been long enough ago that I couldn’t tell you exactly what was said.

    As you probably know (or maybe not, as you’re very busy at the time!), the passengers themselves do attempt to find a little humor in the muster drill. We always take photos of our party in the drills, because…well…we do all look SO funny in the life vests! It wouldn’t need to be a monologue, just an “off-the-cuff” comment (that you carefully plan! *L*) inserted here or there. Maybe something about the men enjoying the sight of their wives and/or girlfriends with a 50DD bust while waiting for the drill to end. I’m sure that with your sense of humor you could do much better than that, but you get the idea….

    I’m betting right now that you will get some really good ideas from your blog followers!

    The photos of the Carnival Dream are really whetting our appetite to book another cruise. Looks as though she is going to be beautiful!

    Send our love to Heidi and Kye!

    Terri & Larry

    Reply
23. Susan V says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    Hi JOHN, PLEASE REPLY!!!

    Thank you for the information for my Mom on Cozumel. They were fine just knowing they did have an option rather than walking.

    I appreciate you taking the time to answer one of my questions, but you didn’t mention the other one. I really need to know since we sail in 17 days.
    Here is my question again (copied and pasted!)

    Question about Kim Harrison:

    We found out from her that she will be on our cruise (Carnival Glory 9/5) from the beginning until we stop in Belize (3 days). We wanted to find out if her schedule allows, could she join us for dinner. We would love to invite her (she told us she would love to but was unsure if she could) but wanted to make sure it was allowed and how we could arrange it as well.

    Scott and I will be celebrating 21 years on this cruise as well and he will finally be PLATINUM so we are excited about our cruise. We are cruising with some wonderful friends we met last year on the Valor through Cruise Critics and look forward to our reunion!

    I had asked awhile back for info or at least a picture of James Charleton (acting CD for our cruise 9/5 on the Glory). Any inside info is appreciated.

    Thanks again,

    The PESTS

    Susan & Scott

    Reply
24. Elaine says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:35 pm

    John,

    I just wanted to tell you to have a safe trip home, relax and enjoy your time with Heidi and Kye. Treasure every single moment being home.

    If you feel a need to take a couple of days off from writing the blog, please do so without feeling any guilt…… you certainly deserve it.

    Reply
25. Tom says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:40 pm

    Hi John -
    I was looking into doing something special for my sister on my upcoming cruise this weekend on the Victory. We’re celebrating her birthday a few weeks early and I can’t find the website to buy things for our cabin. Do I need to wait and buy stuff onboard in Formalities? Thanks for any information. (I hate the new website…I can’t find anything)

    Tom Perron, Carvnial Victory, August 23, Cabin **** Booking Number ******

    Also, is Wee Jimmy our CD? We had him as a Social Host along with Karl with a K back on the Miracle and thought it was great reading online how many of my past favorite social hosts are getting promoted. Good for them!

    Reply
26. southerndreams says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    humor at the boat drill? i don’t know john. i suppose maybe at the end? most of us could GIVE the boat drill we’ve been to so many of them but there are always new people there, i know you’ll figure it out, you always do! have a great day my friend… i know i will!

    smiles, bonnie and prince charlie

    Reply
27. Brian Bence says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    Hi John,

    About Southwest humor. They joke about things like: If the air mask falls place it over your mouth before assisting those who may need help “like your husbands”.

    I love it, it makes a dull situation a little more enjoyable. Its not over the top and I think it keeps peoples attention.

    I also want to recognize who ever is responsible for the hiring, training and performance management of Carnival Employees. Your system is working.

    Brian

    Reply
28. Jeanette says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Please reply
    John, is it possible to find out in advance what the table assignment will be for my September cruise. I really don’t want the fisaco that happened for my April cruise. I got stuck at a table for 8 and of the eight five of us showed up. Two paid no attention to the other three (me included when I said “hello”) of us until we started talking aobut our pets. The other two women at the table were well into their 50′s and the other couple (who ignored us for all but 10-15 minutes of the whole meal) was around the same 50′s. I was 39 and I expected to be at a table with others who were around 30ish or early 40′s, or even better (like on the lIberty) at a table for eight with seven other single, solo cruisers!!!! I did change tables, but of the seven other people there was only one that was in their late 40′s and then three in their early to late 70′s!!!!! I wanted to be with people close to my own age, not people who were counting the days until retirement in months/or weeks and not years…
    Please, is there anyway to check to see if the table assignment is done for Sept 13th sailing of the Splendor and see if you can sweet talk the maitre’d (sadly it isn’t my sweet, sexy Alex) into putting me with people who will be happy to celebrate my 40th birthday with me…Oh, ya, and if you can find fellow Canadians that would make it even better–We Canadians have a lot in common (not just that we live in Canada!!).

    John, you look mah-velous!!!! You are sticking to the diet, so it takes time for it to show that it is working. Your in it to lose it slow and steady, it just takes time and patience….now for your roid problem–try taking fibre supplements, it may help, if not, ask your doc to have em removed!!!!

    Reply
29. Randall says:

    August 19, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    John (please reply)

    Hi John. We are taking our first Carnival Cruise on the Legend Oct 11, 09 (6 of us including our 10yr old son). We are very excited to have you as our CD after reading all about you on Cruise Critic.

    Every cruise we try and meet kids at a school or orphanage that we can help. I collect supplies and money before the cruise and deliver them. I’m hoping you can help us with making Roatan arrangements. I have collected a large duffel full of school supplies and books for the orphanage and school in Roatan and I need to make sure I can get off the ship with them. Is this something that can be done? Anything you can do to help us get these supplies to the kids would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks in advance
    Randall

    Reply
30. hostmach says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    John, I have to agree with Susan V. Kim Harrison is stunningly funny! She was on board with us last year for my September cruise on the Conquest with Ralph. Ralph, Kyle Post and Kim attended our Meet & Mingle. We had a fabulous time. You MUST sail with Kim. You’d love her humor as much as I do!

    About the boat drill… anything to make the boat drill more enjoyable (well… being beat with a bat might even make the boat drill more enjoyable…) would be welcome. All seasoned cruisers know the importance of the drill and tolerate it for that reason. Now, when Stitch and I were on the Bloggers with you our muster station was on the Lido Deck aft of the pool. We stood there in the sun, not a breath of air, and did our duty. After the drill I was amazed by a woman who had been standing just behind us. She approached the team member who was conducting the drill for us and complained that it was TOO SHORT! Not enough emphasis had been placed on the possibility of the ship sinking at any moment and that on her last cruise on blahblahblah cruise line the boat drill lasted at least an hour. Bless her heart. I think she was mad with the heat.

    At all cases, please offer my thanks to all the appropriate folks for what they do on the Blog Thingy and say howdy to Ralph for me!!

    Ciao!

    Host Mach

    Reply
31. Capt Bill says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    Hey John,

    Tough question tonight, I am not sure how to answer it, while it is true that the life boat tends to be very dry, ok it is very dry, it is a requirement that needs to be done, while I don’t have a boat drill like you do, I am required to inform the passangers of the safety equipment, I am not sure about you. thinking about it I think a little at the end might be ok, lord knows I have seen all kinds of photos of the passangers wearing the life jackets…. just my thoughts,

    Say hi to wee jimmy (I miss the two fo you togehter, you where a smash)

    Your friend

    Capt Bill << hard at work in Boston Harbor

    Reply
32. Frank & Bridie says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    John,
    We think some humor in the safety drill would be great. We were on a flight several years ago wheret hey used several lines which has us laughing and after all these years and many flights we still remember this delta flight. Some of thel ines used we’re “if you don’t listen you don’t get any peanuts”, “Or if you must smoke thats no problebm, while in flight we just ask you step outside the smoking section is out on the left wing” You should try something about no room service or you will walk the plank if you don’t pay attention. Or we could allways use someone new to row the boat. Just some ideas

    Big fans as Allways,
    Frank and Bridie

    Reply
33. Diana Mancebo says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:29 pm

    Please respond
    Dear John;
    How are you? I hope all is well. First, I want to congratulate you on your new arrival. Your daughter kye is precious. Please enjoy her, time does go by pretty quickly; and before you know it she will be all grown up and you will be thinking where the time went. Now, I must say that I totally love your blog. I wish I knew about you and your blog before I went on the ship. It would help me better prepare me for you!!…LMAO I must publicly apologize for my rude comment to guest services about the interaction my husband and I had with you during the Talent show. You need to understand, that we are not used to your wonderful sense of humor and acting performance you display. We tried to play along, but it was very hard to do when we knew that my husband could have dressed better for the occasion but did not have the means to do so at the time. Yes, we lied about having a suit in our stateroom, because we were embarrased. Actually, my husband did not even expect to be called up on stage, so he really did not think he had to dress up. We learn something everyday, and with this experience my husband finally got it, that he has to think about his wardrobe a bit more and where to wear certain clothing.
    At any rate, you were superb and we hope to see you in another cruise, but with your family onboard. I want you to do me a big favor and please thank the Freedom Band for making my song ” I will Always love You” shine…I have never, never, never sang with a live band before. I was a nervous wreck when you called me up on stage. I literally was going to walk out of Victoriana, but decided to stay and finish what I started. Oh my God! You have given me an experience that it was more like an outer body experience!…I saw the lights and the standing ovations with the applause, it was truly magical…You, Jamie, the Freedom band and the other entertaiment staff made it happen for me. The only thing that I can say is thank you…thank you for making this wonderful experience for me to enjoy. Take care and happy

    Reply
34. neeceygirl says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    Hello John (Please reply & thank you in advance)
    Please forgive me for repeating myself. I wrote on 8/? but did not ask for a reply so am writing again. I am thrilled to know we will be on the Legend (Nov. 8th) with you. We always enjoy the entertainment and have so much fun participating in many of the activities. There will be at least 30 of family members on this 4th cruise. My question is, can you tell me which beach(es) is your favorite (at Roatan), which beach(es) are kid friendly, and if they have umbrella’s? Thanks again for having such a fun blog and taking the time to answer all these emails. Oops. One more thing. Where do we find your responses? I guess I just check the daily blogs. God bless you and your family, Denise (and Iggy)

    Reply
35. tracy says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    please reply im not sure i i already sent this and u responded sorry if i did. sence their is an elagant nite is their a place on the ship i can rent a ball gown? and why do they have elagant nite now?
    and hope u are feeling better.

    Reply
36. Maggie Thomas says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:46 pm

    Your blog is awesome. I was feeling ticked because I am dealing with a rude co-worker……and you reminded me I am more than used to seeing and dealing with arrogant folks. I HAVE BEEN ON CELEBRITY and they do not have a curfew for kids…..they also do not have as many kids…..BUT ONCE AGAIN—–did the man think about how it is summer? You know, on my last awesome cruise on the FREEDOM there were scads of teachers and scads of kids….because it is summer….and I bet the teachers need a break more than that rude man……..HELLO….talk to the travel agent about what you expect and keep in mind other people are on a trip also and they might have a different idea of fun but we all live in the world until we can afford a private yacht…..honestly!!! John (or is it Jonny Boy…..please!)—— I am sure your great child and pretty wife (and most of the gals in your audience) will all agree that you are a cutie and hot, HOT, HOT!!!!! and you should have told Mr. Slimfast he should mind his business and use the stairs instead of taking his drunk self on the lift…..But once again just think of that little cling cling cling at check-out when he is walking off the ship…..

    Reply
37. Ashley says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Gorgeous pictures of the Dream! I can’t wait until we are on her.

    Reply
38. Bill Heck says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    Hello John:

    Yes, as small children we learned that you have to ask nicely. So of course you are correct in your handling of requests.

    Southwest humor was along the lines of “You can smoke cigars onboard Southwest. You just have to sit in the smoking section…on this flight the smoking section is on the starboard wing, after we have reached a comfortable cruising altitude.”

    Safety is serious business, but once the official business is taken care of, some funny business would be good.

    Be good!

    Your friend

    Bill Heck

    Reply
39. Bill (Zydecocruiser) from ZydecoCruiser.com says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:54 pm

    Another Southwest one…

    Talking about the overhead switches…

    “Pushing the button with the light bulb turns the light on. Pushing the button for the flight attendant does not turn the flight attendant on.”

    Reply
40. nanetteali says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:55 pm

    Dear John:
    I remember that 2 years ago the last time I took a cruise on a ship of the Seas I was traveling with 2 teenagers under 18 and yes they have a curfew and they were pissed. I don’t remember if it was at 12:00 or after 1:00 a.m that any kid under 18 would not be allowed to be outside of the cabin without an adult.

    Reply
41. ka-bob says:

    August 19, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    I think it is a wonderful idea to add some humor to the life boat drill. When I flew on Alaska Airlines they also added humor to the safety information. Not only was it enjoyable, but I paid more attention because it wasn’t the same speech I had heard many times before.
    Thank you so much for continuing the blog. I don’t know how you fit everything you do into a twenty-four hour day. You have certainly earned a vacation at home with your girls. Have a wonderful time.

    Reply
42. Carolyn and Don says:

    August 19, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    Hi John, I would remind you how many more days it is until you go home to your girls, but I bet you can tell all of us the exact minutes and seconds until you are able to take both of them in your arms for a huge hug….. we won’t speak of what else you may be planning .
    I’m glad you got off the ship even if it was for a very long time of 45 minutes……. sigh. But at least you did touch land.
    As a stockholder I can tell you from experience that the on board credit is the only thing we get.
    Being platinum we do get some perks, one being the nice picture frame and mine has a picture of none other than Little Miss Kye in it.. Everytime I look at it I smile……..she’s a cutey.
    And for the curfew. I agree there should be one for children, but I don’t think it is Carnivals place to enforce one. Where are the parents????? Sometimes I think some parents have no idea where their children are until debarkation.
    I have an online friend that is from New Zealand. She and her hubby are going on a cruise on one of the Princess ships. I know it goes to Alaska. She had asked if I knew anything about tours in AK. So I copied and pasted the info you had recently about tours in Alaska. I’ll have to find out which ship it is and maybe you can let me know if that particular ship has a blog.
    I know you have missed Heidi and Kye so badly. But I must say it is a very unselfish thing that you have done, to keep on working in order for Heidi to stay home with Kye. For a lot of families the wife has to work, or in order for the wife to stay at home, the husband has to work 2 jobs, He sleeps the other 8 hours, and even though he is at home he is never able to spend time with the child/children. You are so very fortunate that when you do get home, you will be there for a month at least. And that is a month of quality time.
    So from this Aunty I would like to pat you on the back and say job well done…go home and enjoy your family and GET SOME REST! I think you get the idea………lol

    Countess Carolyn…. counting the days until we step foot on the Carnival Holiday and yes we’ve booked our cruise on the Dream

    Reply
43. Brenda R says:

    August 19, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    John,
    Regarding your question about humor being used during the lifeboat drill; I think it is a wonderful idea. We have cruised several times, and honestly, the lifeboat drill is not something we look forward to.

    I would welcome some humor while being crammed in amongst strangers wearing the latest fashionable orange jackets. It would really help break the ice and set a tone of fun for the upcoming cruise.

    Reply
44. Clair says:

    August 19, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    Hi John,

    I for one would find it refreshing if the safety drill was done with a little humor. I know that the information that needs to be communicated is most important, however, if done properly, a little humor should not take away from that.

    The pre-flight safety spiel on Southwest Airlines can be very funny. One of their best is they have a flight attendant who raps the pre-flight safety message. You can find it on YouTube …. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivjybzdXVmI

    Here’s keeping my fingers crossed that the pools on-board will not have to be closed again this week.

    Clair

    Reply
45. Shirley Cales says:

    August 19, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Hello John. Although I always read your blog, I seldom reply. And it’s so painful to keep seeing such wonderful photos of the Carnival Dream when I had to cancel my TA months ago after my sister backed out and I found out that my daughter is having a baby in late September. If it hadn’t been for the baby coming I would have tried to find another cabin mate. So now the baby is due in a few weeks and once he comes I hope to be able to start thinking about an escape to the Caribbean on a Carnival cruise next winter.

    But since you are still considering the 2010 bloggers’ cruise, and you always say that you hope to cruise Alaska someday, I’m putting in my vote for an Alaska bloggers’ cruise. For the most part I like Ohio’s weather in the summer so the only cruising I do is in the winter (the exception was an Alaska cruise on Coral Princess in August 2003), but I would love to join you on an Alaska cruise. It truly is a brilliant place to cruise and having you along would make it even better, especially if you bring those lovely ladies with you (Heidi and Kye of course).

    Shirley

    Reply
46. Brad P says:

    August 19, 2009 at 11:05 pm

    Hi John,

    You asked about humour during the safety briefing.

    In Canada we do have an airline that regularly uses humour during routine announcements and yes….safety briefings. I was on a West Jet flight from Toronto to Vancouver recently and the gentleman giving the safety briefing said “in the unlikely event of a loss in cabin pressure an oxygen mask will drop form the ceiling above. Place the oxygen mask over you nose and mouth like this …..and turn to the person to the right and say ….Luke I am your father…..(this was done with loud breathing to sound like Star Wars Darth Vader). It caught us all by surprise and resulted in spontaneous laughter throughout the plane. It was equally funny when he repeated it again in French. The humour caused me to listen intently to the rest of the ….well let’s face it…..an otherwise routine and boring safety briefing. I would go as far as to say humour helped deliver the safety message very effectively.

    I think the only people who may have objected to the humour were those few who had already dosed off and were awaken by the laughter.

    Spice up the life boat drill a little bit and thanks for asking.

    Reply
47. matt edmunds says:

    August 19, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    John,

    I agree about southwest only airline i know where ither at begining or ending of there safety annoucement they inject a quick bit of humor!
    I would agree yes the LIFEBOAT DRILL should be taking seriousily, dont think it wrong at the same time to kinda set the tone for the upcoming cruise with a quick chuckle, or quick joke!I believe as long as it was short and sweet ither at the begining or ending guest would have a smile after standing there with lifejackets on for 1/2 hr in 80 degree heat with 100% humidity!!!

    Reply
48. Michael Zheng says:

    August 19, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Dear John,

    Southwest do add some touch of humor in their safety demonstration speech, such as.. “in the unlikely event this airline becomes a cruiseline…” or “in the unlikely event of cabin decompression, oxygen will flow through the mask at a regular rate for the first minute and a dollar a minute after that” remarks like that..

    They even have a rapping flight attendant
    

    I think if you throw in some of your humor in the safety drill, it could be a great idea or a great…disaster. Some people are so sensitive to these things so gotta think wisely of what to say (don’t want to send out too many fruit baskets now right?).. I thought when you said they’re gonna show Poseidon on the movie channels aboard the ship…was one of the funnier things I’ve ever heard..

    -Michael Zheng

    Reply
49. Hckymomma222 says:

    August 19, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    Hi John,
    As always – I look forward to reading your blog every night. I only recently realized you were my CD on my 1st cruise on the Destinty – the Bedtime Story is what brought back my memory – loved it!

    On the humor question, I have flown on 2 flights that had some humor injected during the preflight safety talk – one on SW and one on Spirit and it was great! I actually paid attention as we were told “should our flight suddenly become a cruise, your floatation device can be found under your seat.”

    Being a seasoned flyer I loved found and it held my attention, however if I were a 1st timer that needed to take a xanax to board the flight – I may have felt differently!

    Can’t wait to see another picture of your little angel, Kye, she is s beauty!

    Take Care,
    Mary aka hckymomma222

    Reply
50. Michael Zheng says:

    August 19, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    Might think twice before sharing this with 3,000 people in the middle of the Atlantic..

    The captain of a cruise ship says to the passengers and crew. “I have some good news and some bad news! Which do you want to hear first?”

    “The good news everyone screams”.

    Well, replies the captain…. We are probably getting 14 Oscars.

    Reply
51. Erin W. says:

    August 20, 2009 at 12:04 am

    Hi John (Please Reply)! I would like a little humor in the Life Boat drill – For many frequent cruisers we can recite the whole drill much like we can on the airline! I think it would break up the moment and make it not so dull and maybe even refocus some people who have spaced out!…I have been on many airlines that use humor in the safety talk. One of Southwest Airlines main lines is: “If Southwest Airlines should happen to become Southwest Cruise Lines – your life vests are located right under your seats.” Very Funny the first time I heard it!!

    I am late following up on a answer you gave me last month about why we cant pay online if we booked by phone. Sorry to be a pain but the person who you tasked to answer the question…well he really didn’t He merely restated what I said. And in response to his statement that it is faster to read the card number to the PVP rather than type it..well that is a matter of opinion and still not really an answer. For me I (like many others im sure that use keyboards all day) can type my card number in quite quickly and it is much faster than calling and leaving a message for the PVP and then waiting for the return call(or calling the main 800 number and reading your reservation number, waiting for them to pull it up and confirm your password) . I guess my confusion is this: The technology is already in place so why are some passengers being restricted from using it (you can actually click on make a payment and enter your CC info before it gives you the error message – which doesn’t even tell you what the error is)? I mean I can pre-book shore excursions with my credit card on the reservation online but not pay the bill?? Thanks for looking into this!

    Only 30 more days (and then 128 days) until the Liberty and 85 days until the Dream!!

    Erin W.

    Reply
52. Gerald Scott Fitzpatrick says:

    August 20, 2009 at 12:25 am

    John,

    My wife and I are sailing on our 3rd Carnival cruise in 13 months. Previously we were RCCL cruisers. Firstly, thank you to Carnival for sticking with the Galveston departure port. It is really fantastic to be able to drive to our cruise ship. Conquest 8/23 (haha, 5 days!!!)

    Our last few cruises have been with our wonderful friends, family and semi-grown kids. Now, we are celebrating our 20th anniversary with… get this… no family, no friends and no kids! Although we love them all, we are finally going to get some one on one “alone” time. Spur of the moment booking a couple of weeks ago.

    We enjoy your blog quite a bit. Fun stuff. And, we’re not asking you for anything! Just the two of us sleeping late, dancing the nights away, not having to keep on others’ schedules… ah… heaven.

    Keep up the good work and the blog for as long as you can stand it.

    Peace out!

    Reply
53. Chris says:

    August 20, 2009 at 12:44 am

    Hi John, please read…

    Southwest Airlines is famous for many crew members making all kinds of humourous announcements. Some of the more famous ones are:

    - There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this aircraft…

    - Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.

    - Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child…pick your favorite.

    and here is one FA that does the entire thing as a rap:

    and this guy became so famous that he was even asked to announce a new service:

    So, as you can see, your guest was right, there is no reason why a bit of humour cannot be added to safety announcements as long as the message is still clear… in fact it might even help people remember!

    all the best,
    Chris

    Reply
54. Slickabrina says:

    August 20, 2009 at 12:46 am

    Hello John! As a regular SW flyer, I can attest to the fact that they do make jokes during the safety announcement..

    “In the event of a water landing as we fly to Phoenix…” (realizing Arizona is desert)

    “Please place your mask over your face and then assist your favorite child next…”

    And though I don’t know if this link will work, the rapping Southwest flight attendant:

    Reply
55. Mar & Steve says:

    August 20, 2009 at 1:07 am

    John,
    Southwest is quite well known for their flight attendants use of humor. They go through all the usual safety instructions not missing a thing, but then will add something like: In the unlikely event that this aircraft becomes a cruise ship, your seats will become floatation devices. John, I may not have that perfectly correct word for word but it is close. I am not a frequent flyer so I am sure other bloggers can think of many more.
    Although unrelated to safety don’t ever let it leak out it’s your birthday as they will sing to you over the P.A.
    I fly maybe twice a year with Southwest and always enjoy their little bit different approach to welcoming you on board etc.

    Have a safe trip home to your girls. I know you can’t wait to see them. Kye is just a cutie.

    Regards,
    Marlene

    Reply
56. Dave says:

    August 20, 2009 at 1:23 am

    Celebrity do not have a curfew, RCL does, it’s midnight for all minors.

    Reply
57. Dave says:

    August 20, 2009 at 1:41 am

    Oh I forgot, you asked about booking cruises with certain cruise directors.

    The short answer is yes….Kind off, there is a cruise director we avoid at all costs, he is a Carnival CD I am sorry to say, but the man is a moron, he is probably a nice guy, however he has no understanding that when there is a problem, trying to ignore the problem is far worse then actually explaining it.

    So as not to come of as being petty, the small problem happened to be a port being skipped due to a storm, ok, understandable, but don’t ignore the fact that a port is being skipped, just explain the reason why.

    Also, this was the part I loved, standing in line for tenders at Cabo San lucas (which is a slow tender port on the best of days) for a couple of hours having to listen to him tell us all how well it was going and could another group of passengers please make their way to the line to go ashore.

    The sad thing was, we were some of the first in line, we were off the ship by 11.30am, when we returned at 3.30pm there were still people trying to get off the ship and they were having to listen to the CD tell everyone what a great day it had been, honestly John, the crew were not happy because everytime he opened his mouth they got yelled at by frustrated passengers.

    Of course I can’t give his name in full, but it starts with Jeff Bronson.

    Wow heck of a rant there lol

    Anyways, on the positive side, the other cruise directors are great, I should also like to give a very big thumbs up to Josh Daybol on the Sapphire Princess, Josh is simply one of th very the best there is.

    It doesn’t hurt that him and I would have coffee at 5am every morning either and we would exchange stories about our little adventures in dealing with guests.

    Reply
58. Michele MARAGNI says:

    August 20, 2009 at 1:49 am

    Hi John (Please Reply)
    I hope you are feeling much better now, just a few more days and you will be home relaxing ,and enjoying your beautiful ladies, the heck with some of these ignorant fools! If they only had your kind & generous heart, this world would be a better place! and not to mention your fabulous sense of humor and wit! First let me be the first to congratulate you , for staying on your diet, I just cannot imagine anyone working on a ship, surrounded with such delicasies, 24/7 being so devoted as you, sticking to your diet! KUDO’S to you! I don’t think I could do it, or many others infact! I can honestly say, I am so excited to meet such an honerable gentleman as yourself, all these negative bloggers, please just take them for what they are( it wouldn’t be proper to mention, the words I have in mind!) just stay your wonderful self, you are admired by many, how many people can say that! Love to you, Heidi & Kye! your friends, and admirers! Michele & Mom(Eleanor)

    Reply
59. JenniLynn says:

    August 20, 2009 at 1:53 am

    John-

    I love Carnival and I love your Blogthingy. I leave a month from today aboard the Carnival Valor, for what will be my 6th cruise since May 2007. (the 7th is already booked for December!)

    I am a former flight attendant and at times I was very jealous of the Southwest crews because they were able to have more “fun” with their announcements. I think it would be great to insert some humor into the lifeboat drill. I know at Southwest the passengers pay a lot closer attention than they do at any of the Mainline carriers because they are funny. It would be the same with the lifeboat drill. If it was more humerous guests are more likely to pay attention. If it would make the safety info more memorable then why not insert a couple of quips?

    From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

    Thanks for all the laughs, info, and for sharing your life with us!

    Jenni Fitzgerald

    Reply
60. celia philipson says:

    August 20, 2009 at 2:57 am

    Hi John,
    Just caught up with two weeks of blogs. Been on the Celebrity Equinox, yes I know, we are the cruise equivalent of Benedict Arnold. The ship was beautiful but after marvelling at the half acre of grass for the first time one was left wondering “WHY”. The only place available for cigar smokers was the 15th floor prow, outdoors, where even on a good day the wind blows cigarette and cigar sparks all over the ship. Surely more dangerous than allowing smoking on the balconies which is banned on pain of death! Very poor daytime entertainment and no one-off triva quizzes. However it is your comment today regarding introducing humour (spelt correctly) into safety drills that prompted me to respond. On our Easy Jet flight back from Rome the Chief Steward had us in fits of laughter by saying the oxygen masks could be activated by putting a pound coin in the slot, any baggage left on board could be found on e-bay the following weekend, any passenger bad behaviour would result in immediate ejection etc. none of which detracted from the serious safety message but certainly made us feel relaxed just as you have the knack of doing for all on Carnival. Which brings me to the Cruise Director, my daughter Jane and I commented on the fact that apart from introducing the first night show we never saw him again. My husband requested a daily quiz which was promised but never materialised. So the moral of this story, even Benedict Arnold must have learned from his mistakes.

    Reply
61. JP Kraus says:

    August 20, 2009 at 4:40 am

    Southwest airlines has quite a reputation for ‘funny’ announcements. Here are two clips that have become instant Youtube hits:

    http://www.dvorak.org/blog/2007/10/27/southwest-airlines-pre-flight-safety-announcement/

    It’s my understanding that the content of these announcements is regulated by the FAA, that’s why they contain specific phrases that sound very legalese. However, change is coming: http://www.travelfox.com/archive/20090201.htm

    Personally, I think that safety announcements are there for a good reason – the passengers’ safety! If you add ‘humor’ to them, you’ll the obscure the message.

    Mind you, not everyone has the same sense of humor: http://ca10.washburnlaw.edu/cases/2005/08/04-3109.htm

    Reply
62. Carolyn and Don says:

    August 20, 2009 at 6:27 am

    To Susan V
    The guys that have the pedal carts have a cup that just says TIPS, no certain set charge. I used to use it and my hubby would give him $3 each way. I think it was in Jamacia there are guys that push wheelchairs and push you down the ramp, they do charge $5.
    Just a suggestion. You might go to a store that sells/rents the battery operated scooters and see about renting your Mom one of them. That way she can use it on the ship. They make one that comes apart and you can load it in the trunk of the car and also store it under the bed in your cabin. This was our solution for me. We made a deal with the store that if I liked it they would put the rental fee towards the purchase price of the scooter. I love mine. I use it to SHOP in the mall now. Just a thought.
    Countess Carolyn….

    Reply
63. Jeff Benton says:

    August 20, 2009 at 7:36 am

    Hi John….(please respond) I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. My wife and I are celebrating our 15 wedding anniversary on the Splendor that leaves September 6th. We have a very large group of cruisers on our roll call board on Cruise Critic!!! My question is there any way that we could get a meeting place so that we may all get together and have a drink and say hello to the folks that we have talking to for soooo long???? We have over 1300 posts and still going strong!! Are plans as of now are to meet at the aft pool bar at 4:15 the day of the sailing…..That way we could have a drink together before the muster drill……Thank you so much for everything that you do!!!!! I will be sure to promote Carnival…in a big way…..over on Cruise Critic!!! I also have a radio show 5 days a week and I’ll give ya a shout out!!!!!!

    Reply
64. rickwebste says:

    August 20, 2009 at 7:59 am

    Hi John,

    I did a little research and found this on Celebritycruises.com

    GUEST VACATION POLICY
    Revised 10/22/03
    General Policies (enforceable during transfers and shore excursions, at the pier, while onboard and at our
    Private Islands)
    Smoking
    Any guest smoking in a designated non-smoking area will be asked to extinguish their cigarette/cigar/pipe or
    move to a designated smoking area. Non-compliance will result in asking the guest to leave the area. In the
    event the guest refuses, a supervisor will be called to assist. As a last resort, Security will be called to assist
    with this process.
    Violent Behavior
    Any unwarranted physical contact will result in an investigation of the events transpired by the shipís
    management. This offense will result in disciplinary action that may include immediate detainment of the guest,
    inability to board the ship or departure of the guest from the ship at the next available port of call.
    Possession of a Weapon, Illegal Substance or other Prohibited Item
    All weapons, illegal substances and other prohibited items will be confiscated and turned over to the appropriate
    authorities. If confiscation occurs in a shoreside cruise facility, the guest may be denied permission to board
    or re-board the ship as applicable. If confiscation occurs onboard the ship, the guest may be required to depart
    the ship at the next available port of call. All such incidents will be reported to applicable government and law
    enforcement authorities. Certain vacation related items such as dive knives may be allowed, but will be held
    in safe custody by the shipís Security Staff when not in use ashore.
    Verbal Abuse
    Any verbal abuse reported or observed by an employee or guest will be investigated by the shipís management.
    Excessive Offensive Language
    Any guest using excessive offensive language in the presence of other guests will be asked to cease.
    Non-compliance will result in a second warning. Further non-compliance will result in the supervisor asking
    the guest to leave the area. In the event the guest refuses, security will be called to assist with this process.
    Topless Sunbathing
    Topless sunbathing will be permitted on all European itineraries. All other itineraries will adhere to a NO topless
    sunbathing policy.
    Disruptive Equipment
    No boom boxes, roller blades, roller skates, skateboards, scooters, surfboards, bicycles or other means of
    personal transportation can be utilized unless it is in an appropriately designated area or for medical reasons.
    If this equipment is brought onboard it will be stored and returned to the guest on the day of departure.
    Pool Policy
    All pool chairs are for the enjoyment of all guests. To this end, Celebrity Cruises Inc. does not allow the reserving
    of any deck chairs or lounges. In the event that guests continually disregard the policy, the Pool Attendant will
    contact their supervisor to remedy the situation. If the situation is not rectified, Security will be contacted to
    assist.
    Solicitation
    Solicitation is not permitted onboard as it is considered a disturbance to other guests. Guests found soliciting
    will be asked to cease the behavior and all collateral (if any) will be confiscated and discarded. Continued
    non-compliance will result in departure of the guest from the ship at the next available port of call.
    Guest Vacation Policy Page 2
    Individuals whose behavior demonstrates:
    (1) Minor Infractions:
    Generally disruptive in any area of the pier, ship, private islands or during transfers or shore
    excursions (i.e. making the cruise vacation experience unpleasant for other guests) will be
    considered disruptive and the minor infractions three-step process (Warning, Second Warning,
    Action) will be enacted.
    *Note: If numerous minor infractions are noted, shipís management reserves the right to enact a 1:00
    a.m. curfew for all minors 17 years of age and younger, unless they are participating in organized
    shipboard activities.
    (2) Serious Infractions:
    (a) Destruction of onboard property in any area of the ship (vandalism);
    (b) A potential physical harm to themselves or others;
    (c) Verbally abusive towards a staff member or guest;
    (d) Excessively inebriated / under the influence of an illegal substance
    (e) Purchasing alcohol for a minor; and/or
    (f) Soliciting will be considered unruly and the serious infractions three-step process (Meeting,
    Action Plan, Departure) will be enacted.
    General Age Policies
    *During inclement weather, the Solarium pool (if covered) may be used by children under 16 if
    directly supervised by a parent or guardian from noon to 2:00 pm and from 4:00 pm to 6:00 pm.
    **Young children in diapers/pull ups/swimmers may not use the pools/Whirlpools, even if
    accompanied by a parent/guardian.
    Gambling & Beverage Age Policies
    *Applicable regulatory age restrictions apply while the ship is in port, and until the ship enters
    international waters. Please note that any parent/guardian wishing to have an 18-20 year old in
    their care consume alcohol as described must complete a beverage waiver at the time of boarding.
    Guest Vacation Policy
    Page 3
    **For all ships cruising in Alaska, guests must be 21 years of age or older to consume any alcohol
    (that includes beer and wine) or gamble in the casino.

    I hope this answers the question. No curfew unless they have problems. I love reading your blog. I work nights and read it when I come home while winding down for bed. My wife and I will be taking our next cruise on the Valor Oct 25, 2009. We will be celebrating our anniversary. From my understanding you can no longer tour the bridge. We would love to see the bridge. Is it possible for you to help us get a bridge tour? Also, I was talking this morning with our 5 year old English Bulldog (Buttercup). Buttercup is mad that mom and dad are taking another Carnival cruise without her. Is it possible to take Buttercup on a cruise with us? LOL. How could you turn down such a beautiful face (you can see her in her formal at http://www.engbulldogs.com). Thank you for your help and thank you for such a great blog.

    Rick and Amy Webster

    PS what would we do with the dog poo?

    Reply
65. Dianne says:

    August 20, 2009 at 8:09 am

    John,
    I would not be in the least upset if you ‘injected’ some humor in the life-boat drills. I have been on many Southwest flights (and jet blue) where humor during the safety checks was used. People paid more attention instead of doing their usual thing. Made me feel safer to see passengers actually listening instead of reading or going off to sleep!

    If you have time, go to ‘you-tube’ videos… type in ‘airline comedy, safety’ and you can find all kinds of humor (including rap and singing of the safety rules!) during the saying of the rules.

    Also it would help many of us who stand out in the heat waiting for those who decide to stay indoors UNTIL the last minute! (don’t get me started.. )

    We know that life-boat drills are necessary so we don’t complain. But there are those who do (loudly!), so maybe that would help ‘curb’ these impulses to open their mouths and speak! Just my opinion…

    PS.. Jet Blue actually used video’s of the husband and wife team of James Carville (strong Democrat) and his wife Mary Matilin (strong Republican) on opposing screens. Their ‘right-wing’, ‘left-wing’ views were changed into comedy to fit in with the safety rules. HILARIOUS!!!

    I hope to be on one of your cruises in the near future once again!

    Reply
66. medic123 says:

    August 20, 2009 at 8:14 am

    Hello, Just wanted to let you know that all waytobigforme of the seas ships have a curfew for those under 18. I believe it is midnight unless they are with someone 21 or older.

    Reply
67. Gloria says:

    August 20, 2009 at 8:53 am

    Hi John, We were recently (May) on a Celebrity cruise (Celebrity Century) and I can assure you that there was NO curfew for children (and sometimes all the elevator buttons were pushed–there is a universal fascination with elevator buttons!). People who don’t like to cruise with alot of kids should cruise when school is likely to be on! Love the blogs, although I haven’t commented much lately! GLoria

    Reply
68. Florence says:

    August 20, 2009 at 9:05 am

    I think perhaps a little humor at the beginning of the important lifeboat drill just might make people pay attention. They will want to hear what comes next.

    I love the pix and letters from Kye and Heidi. They are both beautiful girls. Keep up the good work.

    Reply
69. Wyn says:

    August 20, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Our Captain aboard Southwest played us an amazing harmonica solo the last time we flew….not exactly part of the safety talk, but really entertaining!

    Reply
70. Robin in New York says:

    August 20, 2009 at 9:48 am

    John–regarding injecting humor into the muster drill–I think a bit of it might be a good idea. So many of us have heard muster before, and even those who never cruised may tend to tune out, as they do, unfortunately, during a safety presentation on an airplane. Think of it this way–if a lot of people are not paying attention, and they suddenly hear laughter, it will draw them to what it being discussed–because maybe they are “missing something!” Actually, on my recent Star Princess cruise, they did have us laughing a couple of times during muster. Of course, the actual act learning how to put on a lifejacket and where you should go if called to muster should be kept completely serious, which it certainly is.

    Reply
71. Kathy Schweitzer says:

    August 20, 2009 at 9:51 am

    Dear John, I just got done reading your blog and I want to line up to give that rude man a quick kick up the you know what. Having lost over half my body weight over 12 years ago, I know the daily pain you live with. I still struggle to maintain my present weight and have to work hard. I saddens me to hear someone belittling you instead of praising you for the hard work you have already done. My motivation to lose was a cruise that I was going on with friends and then were on diets and losing a lot of weight. I had a dream where I was the only heavy one on the cruise so, needless to say I started dieting the next day. Sad to say they both gained back the weight they lost and then some. My mom and I will be on the Glory 9/19/09, which will be my 10th cruise with Carnival. Yeah Carnival! Over the years we have gotten lots of friends hooked on Carnival but will be cruising alone this time. I do look forward to all of the desserts but sure wish I could eat chocolate so I could have that melting cake everyone brags about. How about something done in peanut butter. I am impressed with the whole spa menu and that ,plus the steps everywhere sure helps when I am eating all of those sweets. Keep up the good work. Kathy

    Reply
72. Deborah says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Hi John – PLEASE REPLY

    By the time you read this I hope you are heading home to your 2 beautiful girls (without any travel problems) How wonderful for them and for you! Kye is growing before our eyes and is so beautiful!! I love the Friday pictures and note from Heidi – please give Heidi my best!!

    There is a very large CC group for the TA Dream on Oct 27. On behalf of the group I have 2 questions:

    1. About 41 of us would like to dine at the Steak House on one of the Sea days, but we don’t want to pick a formal night – so what do I need to make the reservation for 41 guests and what nights are going to be formal nights on the TA? Also what do I need to make the reservation (cabin numbers/names/etc.)

    2. On the first Sea day, Oct 28, we would like a place for the group of about 200+ to meet for our meet & greet and gift exchange. Is it possible to meet in a lounge and have a bar tender, we would purchase our drinks … or just use the lounge space, and can this be posted in the Capers?

    I have not organized something this large and not sure how to handle such a request. One of our members did try to contact the Social Host via the email address, but has not received a response, so we are not sure if we are going through the proper contacts. Any help/suggestions you can give me would be appreciated.

    On a personal note, are you still planning to join the TA Dream in Bermuda? And is Jamie still going to be on the Dream? I have some goodies for all and can’t wait to see you and Jamie again!!

    All my best to you, Heidi and Kye,

    Debs

    Reply
73. vicki says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:14 am

    Hi I’ve not been able to post forever.

    Reply
74. Jamman says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:14 am

    As a veteran Carnival cruiser, (24 under my belt, and #25 booked on the Dream in March), please forgive me when I tell you that when we sailed on the somethingoftheseas a few years ago, there indeed was a curfew for unaccompanied children under 18 after 1 am. I didn’t like it, since my children, ages 12 & 14, though far from perfect, know that playing on the elevators and running in the hallways, was inappropiate, and there would be hell to pay if I, or security caught them!! After 11 pm, I require them to check in with me every half hour, with where they were, and who they were with.

    However, as you well know, some parents think that since they are on vacation, and the kids have to be somewhere on the ship, they can let them run wild.

    But these are the minority, so the good kids, (and parents), shouldn’t be “punished” with a curfew. Just my humble opinion.

    Reply
75. vicki says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Yay this time it worked.

    My husband had a major heart attack July 31, 4 stents later, he’s fine.

    I’ve been reading the blog, so glad to be able to post.

    Since you are such a nice guy I have a favor to ask—can you make on cruise on the Dream Apr 24, 2010, free ? Just kidding lol.

    Reply
76. Angela says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Hi John (please reply),

    I’m brand-new to Carnival. After 3 Disney cruises and 4 Royal Caribbean cruises, I’m taking my first Carnival cruise next April on back-to-back Carnival Dream cruises in a spa suite, and I couldn’t be more excited!!! I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months now. I really enjoy it, and I enjoy your humor. You are an EXCELLENT brand ambassador, and you’ve got me looking very much forward to trying out Carnival.

    Concerning your question about Southwest Airlines and humor, you may want to check out this video on You Tube. It shows a flight attendant doing a humorous rap instead of the usual, boring pre-flight announcement. I think this is a fun way to get everyone’s attention. Safety and humor CAN mix!
    

    Also, concerning your question about curfews for kids on ships, Royal Caribbean does enforce a curfew. Crew members visit all the decks and gather up any kids and send them back to their cabins. I believe the curfew is at 1 a.m.

    Anyway, thanks for all the laughs you bring. Shhhh….don’t tell my boss, but I start off every workday reading your blog!

    Angela

    Reply
77. KATRINA says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:30 am

    Hi John, table requests seem to be a recurring topic… Perhaps Carnival could take these requests online on our My Cruise page. We could fill out our dining preferences. Surely the Maitre ‘D’ doesn’t make the table assignments by hand. I’m sure he has some kind of computer software that does this for him. Why not just do this up front and allow guests to enter their preferences? Seems like that would clear up a lot of confusion and accomadate people better with special requests.

    Reply
78. Jamie says:

    August 20, 2009 at 10:45 am

    Humour and Safety.

    I think they go together rather well as long as it is done properly. It actually gets people to remember things. Take an Air Canada flight I took from Toronto to SF recently. When making the usual landing announcements about being careful opening the overhead bins our flight attendant said “and be careful opening the overhead bins because as you know shift happens”

    Everyone laughed and 6 months later that still sticks in my head. Shift Happens……good one.

    Reply
79. Erik Valentine says:

    August 20, 2009 at 11:23 am

    John,

    I fly Southwest regularly and it is true that they interject humor into the Safety Speech on most of the flights currently running. Part of this is due to the fact that anyone who’s flown on a plane more than 3 times has heard the “Safety Lecture” and those same people tend to tune out immediately once the lecture begins.

    Let’s face it, I’m all for the Darwinism approach if they have to explain to someone how to work something as simple as the Seatbelt’s Push/Click)Latching Mechanism, so a little humor can go a long way to help with the tedium and, I’ve found, more people actually pay attention when they realize that it’s not the “Same Old Speech”.

    I’ve heard comments made about the oxygen mask, I’ve heard the announcement sung as well as done in a Rap-style announcement.

    As far as the Carnival announcements go, I would perhaps put humor at the beginning and end but putting a “But seriously folks” or an “All joking asside” here and there should make people pay more attention.

    Just my two cents,

    Erik V.

    Reply
80. Jessica N says:

    August 20, 2009 at 11:54 am

    John,

    You could always do the safety announcements like Air New Zealand…

    YES – they are only wearing body paint!!

    Reply
81. Jennifer Allen says:

    August 20, 2009 at 11:59 am

    John,

    hey! how are you? I just want you to know how much it is a pleasure to be corresponding with you via your blog. I am a Carnival activist, enthusiast,loyalist and every other ‘ist’ out there! *smiles* I also have a bit of concern that maybe you can help me with. I will be going on my 6th Carnival Cruise on the Freedom on July31st 2010. I will be traveling with a group. I am concerned that my loyalty is not viewed the same on Carnival as it is on other cruise ships like Royal Caribbean. I will not receive any real ‘recognition’ or ‘gifts’ until my 10th cruise, whereas on RCI after your 5th cruise you start seeing major differences in treatment. Is Carnival working on changing this especially since they have cut back on many other things? I am just concerned and your response would be very well appreciated. thanks in advance

    Reply
82. Cruzin2some says:

    August 20, 2009 at 12:57 pm

    Dear John,
    Seems like everyone is in favor of interjecting some humor (Spelled american) but what I would really like to see is after the muster drill is finished, if there could be some Conga music start to play and everyone grab the person next to them and form a conga line and dance everybody back to the Lido Deck for the sail away party.
    James & Nancy
    The Cruzin2some

    Reply
83. Sharona says:

    August 20, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Hi John! Answer please!
    I am a bit nervous about our upcoming stop in Cozumel. Not because of Cozumel…we love it! But because my husband has his heart set on the Power Snorkel excursion… however, there is a weight limit of 240 lbs. on there. I’m working really hard losing weight, but I’m afraid I may not be quite there by November. Is this a “rigid” rule or can it be stretched a bit? I am an experienced snorkeler and an excellent swimmer. I’m looking forward to it, too, but don’t know if it’s something I’ll be able to do. Thanks!

    Reply
84. Kimberly says:

    August 20, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    Mr. Heald,

    I would first like to tell you how much i have enjoyed reading your blog. On Sept 17th i will be cruising out of Mobile on the Holiday. I couldnt pass up.the great price and read so many wonderful things about it on Cruise critic, wich coincidentaly is wear i heard of your blog.

    You seem to be the go-to guy for Carnival and everyone spoke so higly of you and how helpful you are. So i thought i would take a long shot and ask for your assistance.

    The cruise was originally meant to be to celebrate our one year anniversary of dating. We have been friends for 3 years when he moved in to the apartment below mine. The cruise has now turned into a family outing, my son who is 7 is
    joining us. Not that i dont want him there, mind you , but i have a very solid inkling that Ozzy will be proposing. My son let the secret slip that they had gone ring shopping and mommy was getting a surprise .

    What i am asking is if you could possibly drop a bug in someones ears for our dinner assignment. We have the late seating and the little one will be in Camp Carnival. If we could have a private table for two near a window or some place romantic…. Hey hes a marine i have to give him all the help i can with this romance thing

    Thank you so much for any assistance. And again i really enjoy reading your blog. You have a great way with re telling stories and anectdotes and it is a great pleasure.

    Reply
85. Peg Dunbar says:

    August 20, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    What a great blog today. Except for Mr. Slimfast though. I will never understand the rudeness of some people.

    I know you are counting the minutes and seconds until you can be with Heidi an Kye once again.

    I am glad that the weather has improved and you hopefully have some happy pax.

    Keep smiling John, you truly are one of the good guys.

    My best to Heidi and Kye.

    Reply
86. Eva Bartolo says:

    August 20, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Hi John

    Yes a bit of injected humour during the safety drill would take the tediousness out of it and it would make it more interesting.

    I loved the Southwest “Rapper” video, I thought it was done so well.

    Reply
87. Pat says:

    August 20, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    John,
    I really enjoy your blogthingy. Our last CCL cruise was on the Freedom the first week of June and we really enjoyed it. It was great, of course we have enjoyed all of our CCL cruises but James Dunn the ACD was filling in for Todd and James was a hoot. He was so funny and I think he was the reason our cruise was so enjoyable plus we had great tablemates. The Maitre ‘D’ or whoever does the table assignments did an excellent job. We are in the planning stages of our cruise next year and I am sure it will be as great as all of our CCL cruises. I want to go on the Dream but it is going to be a birthday cruise for son and D-I-L so I will have to see which ship they choose. Keep the blogs coming and thank you for all you do. I wanted to let you know how good James was. He also came to our meet and greet and we saw him throughout the cruise and he was always extremly friendly. Thanks again for all you do. Pat

    Reply
88. David & Lucy says:

    August 20, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    John, please reply.
    I have a question concerning the rank insignia of the Captain. Above his rank, on his sleeve of his black jacket, is what looks to be a crown, can you tell me what it signifies and do you know of a location on the web I can find information and especially pictures of the rank insignia used by the Carnival crew? I know I have seen it in previous cabin information books, I wish I had taken the book, (did I type that out loud?) I mean I wish I had taken more notice of what’s in the book. Perhaps you know of a location in which the books could be downloaded.
    Thanks Again

    Reply
89. dwa76 says:

    August 20, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Hi John!
    Wow…a lot of comments on this theead.
    I personally think a little humour (as you say spelled correctly) is always a good thing.
    One day I will make it across the pond to Australia. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
    I hope your day is better than mine as I am stuck on an airplane.
    Good luck and have a good one.
    Take care and hi to Heidi/Kye!
    David

    Reply
90. Nicole says:

    August 20, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    I have flown SW many times, and I like when they inject a bit of humor into the safety stuff. I also enjoyed how the crew member who did our muster drill on the Crown Princess last October did the same thing – it was subtle and appropriate, and I enjoyed it greatly.

    Reply
91. Brian says:

    August 20, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    John, Please Reply

    I was wondering how the dining room entertainment is set up for the eat anytime arrangement? Do those that choose to eat in that dining room get to have the “hot, hot, hot dance”, along with the macaroni, etc?

    If the waiters do perform, is it to the detriment of guests waiting on dinner, or is it only a select few waiters that dance/perform?

    Also, if a guest requests traditional seating, can they attend the anytime seating (I’m not talking about the alternative dining on Lido, but the trial dining on the bigger ships)?

    Just curious. Thanks!!!

    Brian
    Hickory, NC

    Reply
92. Anita Dunham-Potter says:

    August 20, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Hi John,
    There is no curfew. I have yet to hear of anything like that on any ship. It’s sad when kids disrupt guests with their antics.

    One thing I will say — Carnival’s sister-line Princess has a real good program called “Youth Security Program,” in which staff in their early 20s watch over the teenagers. These highly trained personnel continually monitor the hallways and public areas to make sure kids don’t drink or get out of hand. It has substantially cut down on the number of complaints from adults about teens’ shipboard behavior.

    Best
    Anita

    Reply
93. Burchrod says:

    August 20, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    My favorite Southwest safety announcement. “As we prepare for takeoff please make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened…….we’re gonna try something a little different this time!
    On one flight an attendant invited us all to his apartment in Chicago for a party.

    Reply
94. Joko Joan says:

    August 20, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Dear John or One of the Stephanies:

    Leaving a Reply: Help John or one of the Stephanies!!! When I went to leave a reply I was horrified to see that my Name, mail address and website were no longer there at the end of the blod to ease leaving a reply. Could this feature be put back on? I have to confess to not always having all my website info. readily available. This had made taking part in your blog much easier in the past.

    Humor at Drills: Being the wife of a retired Firefighter I am very conscious of safety and it annoys me to high heaven that some people don’t listen and/or aren’t concerned.

    I’ve found, via Southwest Air that the people who have heard the announcements a gazillion times and who weren’t giving their full attention – suddenly did. When there was humor added, they tended to shush up and listen. I think that this might ADD to the safety factor.

    Going Home: I know that you will greatly enjoy going home to your girls. Enjoy them both as you deserve nothing but the best. May your days be filled with Kye’s laughter and Heidi’s love. We all wish you a wonderful vacation . . .

    Reply
95. Debbie says:

    August 21, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    Humor for the boat drill..great idea. Guest telling anyone they gained weight since the last time they saw them…bad idea!!! Maybe you could reply with “Oh yes, I remember you, haven’t you gotten uglier since the last time we sailed together?” People are soooo rude!!! Have a great time with your family. You deserve it. I sure hope they pay you well for all the c**p you have to put up with!!

    Reply
96. cruisin'lovebirds says:

    August 28, 2009 at 11:29 am

    Hi John, I think it’s a great idea to add a little humour (spelled correctly) to the safety announcements.

    When you exit the tram at Disney World, sometimes they say, “Lower your head and watch your step. If you forget, then lower your voice and watch your language.” It catches your attention; it doesn’t detract from the safety message.

    Reply
97. Janice says:

    August 28, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    Re: lifeboat drill, humor would be great. Don’t remember airline but they used some humor. It captured and made me pay closer attention just to see if they’d say anything else funny.

    Reply
98. Kim & Richie Megee says:

    August 29, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    Hi John, because of your love for Carnival I just wanted to share with you my experience with your company. The last time we sailed Carnival was Oct 25 1998. It was our honeymoon. Unfortunately Hurricane Mitch got to Cozumel and Grand cayman before us. Anyways I was so grateful that Carnival made the wise but unpopular decision to hug the coast of Fl and divert us to some other ports. Many other more seasoned customers were angry and even got off on the 1st port and ended their vacation! We were shocked at them. We ended up having a wonderful time and have very fond memories of Carnival. The only real reason we havent been back is because we got used to sailing with RCL and became Platinum mbrs ??? However with the economy hitting us as hard as it has…Hubby is in construction in Florida…we took another look at Carnival and found a great value on the Liberty . We are set to sail with you on Liberty for our 11th anniversary Oct. 24th. We only have an inside cabin but we are so grateful that we could afford it . We hope there isnt another hurricane but if there is I know that Carnival will take good care of us again. This is going to be like a nostalgic cruise being back on Carnival again for our anniversary! We cant wait!

    Reply
99. buyusedcars says:

    September 14, 2009 at 4:34 am

    Hey very nice blog!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your blog and take the feeds also…

    Reply