So here I am in New York which regular readers of the blog will know that its time……once again………….for one of my I Hate Flying starts to the blog. And of course, if you look hard enough there is always a story to tell, especially if you are flying out of Miami International Airport which might as well be renamed Charles De Gaulle because rude people work there …………..and it smells.
However, while there is no excuse for the check-in lady to be rude (she seemed delighted that it would cost me $100 to check in my bags and my underpants – smug cow) there are some people who as much as I would like to think they could be pleasant………….really and truly can’t be.
Let me explain. What’s the thing you hate most about airports? I mean, apart from obvious stuff such as the toilets, the lines, the $10 sandwiches, the fear of dying and when the check-in lady asks if you packed your case yourself, having to fight a childish urge to reply: “Do I look like I’ve got a butler?”
No, the worst thing is other passengers. As I remembered yesterday while inching through security to catch my flight to Miami. It wasn’t the line that made me want to chew my own nipples off but the people in it. Especially the older jogging pants wearing couple behind me who should have been wearing T-shirts that read “Born to moan.”
The line was “ridiculous” and “there should be a special fast lane for those in first class.” As she said this to her husband she held her boarding pass over her head like she had just been presented with the NBA trophy. It was “shocking” and “a joke” that everyone has to put their shoes through the scanner because ……. really ………….. did they look like Islamic fundamentalists? You’d think in this day and age they could invent a faster way to blah, blah, blah.
Now, on this blog I have at times complained about the excessive checks given by airline security. I mean, patting down a 5 year old boy or taking my Carnival name tag away from is indeed boarding on the insane. However, no one wants to remove their belts and outer garments and do a Paris Hilton impression with legs apart, to endure light petting with an electronic wand. But it’s preferable to being sucked out of a Boeing 747 at 30,000 feet because a suicide bomber has made a Rosie O’Donnell shaped hole in the fuselage.
And, as it happens, they have come up with a faster system. I read in the American Airlines magazine that airports will soon have a speedy X-ray body scanner that penetrates clothing to create an image that can see whether someone has a hand grenade up their arse. Lines will be shortened drastically, leaving you more time to browse in Sunglass Hut.
But are we happy about this? ………….ummmm…………I doubt it. I am sure Mr. and Mrs. Moaner and their friends will think this is even worse and I am sure the rich and tanned may get upset. Yes, there are “real fears” that pictures of, say, Megan Fox passing through the scanner may end up being posted on the internet and making their way onto my laptop.
Of course I am talking bollocks. Have you actually seen these X-ray images? They’re crap! I am sure they will just be shapes with no facial detail or hair and certainly no bosoms, lady gardens and thingies will be seen…………..super models won’t even register on the scanner at all.
I am sure there will be tofu-eating people with beards who will complain that these machines are a personal intrusion etc etc etc and that intimate medical details such as breast implants and colostomy bags will be seen. Well, I guess if you’re wearing a colostomy bag, being patted down by an airport security person isn’t a much fun either.
As I said I am sure Mr. and Mrs. Moaner and other professional complainers in my airport line are just the types to object to a virtual strip-search. But which is it to be? Long lines and no X-ray or a swift shimmy through and a full proof way to make sure that Abdul and his mates aren’t going to take you with them to meet the 40 virgins? You can’t have it both ways.
This made me think also of the shipboard security. Each and every week on each and every ship we disembark and embark thousands of guests in port. Our security guards do a wonderful job making sure no naughty people get onboard yet each and every week you could stand at the gangway listening to relatives and friends of Mr. and Mrs. Moaner complain about the line and the fact they can’t just walk straight onboard.
Like airlines and other transportation systems, cruise ships take security very seriously. So, the next time you are standing in line after a wonderful day ashore, waiting to get back onboard and you hear Mr. and Mrs. Moaner complain about having to go through security ……..please do me a favor………tell them to stop complaining. Tell them to remember what happened when checks like this weren’t made and if they continue to complain ………accidently shove them off the pier and into the water…………..we can’t do this as crewmembers…………….as fellow guests …………. you can………………..and if you do…………..I will send you a fruit basket.
Time for today’s questions……………here we go.
Kathy M. Asked:
Hi John, Please reply.I was wondering if in your 22 years of working for Carnival, you have ever been able to take a cruise. If not then this will be your first to see both sides of cruising, working on a cruise ship, then just being a passenger and not being part of the crew at all. It is kind of like in my carrier, nursing, you have no idea what it is like to be a patient, until something happens to you and you then become the patient. It is an eye opener.
I hope you will do a couple or rather a few blogs during your cruise (not every day that would not be fair, because it is your vacation (or Holiday in your country).
I wish that I could take the cruise with you, but after checking out the price (for just me would be over $5,000) and living on disability there is no way that I could ever cruise on any of Cunard lines. I probably would not like them as much as Carnival anyway; Carnival is the “FUN SHIPS”.
John Says:
Hello Kathy MWhen I was a child, taking a cruise was as distant a dream as seeing Megan Fox’s bottom up close is now. Pre-blog days the thought of going on vacation and taking a cruise never crossed my mind. However, recently I have had the chance to visit and sail on Princess, AIDA, Cunard, Costa and Holland America ships. Heidi and I cruised on the gorgeous Emerald Princess in 2008 and we had a wonderful week and of course I sent daily blogs from there as well. Next year we sail on the Queen Victoria around the UK and some of the readers have booked cabins and are coming with the three of us……………still feels funny saying the three of us by the way. Anyway, I wish you could come with me but please don’t worry as there will be daily blogs from the ship and I am sure there will be plenty of stories to share.
Best wishes
JohnMarqueta Asked:
Dear John, Please ReplyWe love the shows and have not seen any one that was not exceptional. I know a lot goes into putting these productions together and that is why you probably try to rotate them around the fleet. Although those of us who cruise often end up seeing the shows several times before they introduce a new one to the fleet. We have not taken part in the anytime dining and always choose 1st seating as we are used to eating dinner around 5:30 here at home. That always puts us at the late show I really have not seen that much of a decline in attendance.
We also love Karaoke and find it very entertaining. We follow the games and trivia’s around the ship all day long and are always there for towel folding.
I am a little tired of some of the lido deck entertainment, hairy chest; survivor and so on.
Smoking Topic; well as an asthmatic for all of my life, I can tell you that I am happy about having certain areas for the smokers and non-smokers. I can’t tell you how many times on the Conquest going to the internet cafe I would have to hold my breath and run through the cigar lounge. As a result of my medical condition, I hardly ever go to the bars on the ship because of the smoking.
On a personal note, John do not listen to the lady who said you were not being a good father or husband by working away from home. My husband was in the Air Force for 22 years and he missed a lot of the kids growing up years, as well as important occasions, but it was how he made a living and took care of us monetarily. We do not love him any less now that he is home all the time than we did then when he was gone. In fact it has made better people of our kids now 26 and 23. They appreciate their dad more because of the sacrifices he made to be gone to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table. I assure you that Heidi and Kye love you just the same too. We appreciate that they share you with all of us too.
Many thanks for all you do,
MarquetaJohn Says:
Hello MarquetaIt was very interesting to read how you spend your time onboard. When a show is successful and a huge hit we do sometimes repeat it on other ships. Take our Beatles tribute “Ticket to Ride“ for example. This I believe is on three of our ships and while some guests may have seen it already the majority will not have done and so it makes sense to repeat something you know absolutely will bring the house down. It is also a time constraint. I mean, try thinking about new concepts and new shows for 23 ships. Well, actually, for the most part Kerry Stables and her production team actually do. But sometimes, especially when you are doing a show change on one ship and have a new ship coming out as well, time does not allow for two brand new shows to be produced, choreographed and arranged. Thus, one of our “hits” is placed onboard.
I agree with you about the Lido Deck games. While the Hairy Chest contest is one that if we were to remove would produce a flood of negative comments, it is time to come up with new Lido entertainment. This is one of the categories we will be discussing and I will be reporting on during the Cruise Director conference later this month.
I want to thank you so much for the very kind words of support which continue to be much needed.
Best wishes to you and the family
JohnMel Asked:
John or Stephanie please reply,Hello John and I must say I missed your blog for the past three weeks, but I was in Italy and onboard the Gorgeous Carnival Dream Oct 3rd sailing. What a ship and what a voyage. The ports of call were amazing and I have to say it ranks as my number 1 trip thus far! Please tell all the bigwigs to put a ship back in Europe! Also it was my first encounter with Ken in the dining room, this man is AMAZING and I will certainly be looking to find another voyage that he is on!
I am actually looking for some assistance or direction to follow. We were disappointed with our cabin 8466 and I have returned to see it was definitely a ship building error. I called the pursers desk whilst onboard and they all came for a tour of our cabin. They followed procedure and contacted Miami who gave us a 200 pp obc stating this was the cost difference between our 9a and the extended balconies (when we booked the ext aft balconies were Cat 8b and not 8G as they are now).I disagree but I know the pursers desks hands were tied. We were booked on the Freedom and then the Liberty which were cancelled and then to the Dream. I know for a fact our cost difference was approx 1000 for both of us as we had a discussion as to whether we wanted to spend the addition money and I worked extra to spring for it! Our friends on the 6th and 7th decks had the aft balconies and I know for sure the cost diff was 800.oo. I had said we would be happy with a future cruise credit for the difference. We paid 5000 for the cruise and though I do understand sometimes mistakes happen I would expect my credit to on par with the cost difference for when I booked. I would have changed my choice of cabin at time of booking if I had known I was not getting an aft wrap. (btw friends had a cove balcony and they are LOVELY).
Who should I address this with or is there someone you could get this too? Also the cabin does not have a sofa in it as I was told when changing from the cancelled Liberty sailing.
Thanks John and I do want to emphasize that we still think this was our best Carnival cruise yet!
John Says:
Hello MelI want you to know that I just forwarded your comments to our Senior Vice President Roberta Jacoby and the shipboard staff. I know having done 11 new deliveries I that bringing out a new ship is never easy. No matter how much you prepare and plan there are always going to be times when you say “bugger, I didn’t think of that.” So, your positive words will mean so much to the Captain and crew.
It has been well documented here on the blog thingy that we did indeed make a mistake when building cabin 8466. I know by now you will have read that the partitions have been removed. However, obviously this was not done in time for your voyage. Please let me apologize for this and I will make sure that your comments are sent to one of our vice presidents for her immediate attention. Please leave this with me and I promise someone will be in touch shortly.
If you need anything else I remain at your service.
Best wishes
JohnStephanie Asked:
Please Reply-John, I love reading your blog. Thank you for sharing your funny stories. I feel a kinship of sorts with you, as I work in the hospitality industry as a front office manager. While my hotel only has 237 rooms, I always feel like you’re speaking to just me with some of these stories!!!
My Husband and my family are going to be on the Glory on November 7th, and I wanted to know if there is anything in particular we HAVE to see on that ship. This is also my husband’s first cruise, and sort of like our real honeymoon as well, (we’ve been married a year). I just want to make sure we don’t miss anything really spectacular. I’ve read all the boards, and feel like I’ve got a good idea, but just wondering if you have anything you would recommend, from one hospitality worker to another!!
Thanks again for your blog!! It always brightens my day!!!John Says:
Hello Stephanie (what an unusual name!)I am glad you enjoy the blog so much and I am sure you could write one of your own working where you do. I am sure you must be excited that this Saturday you will join the Carnival Glory. Please don’t miss any of the shows including the two shows featuring the dancers and singers and the sensational Marcus Anthony Motown show. You also have the new comedy club in the aft lounge so stop by and get ready to laugh. Then there is the steakhouse which as this is a special cruise for you and your husband you really have to try. Most of all, relax, have fun and enjoy some wonderful time together.
Have a brilliant cruise
Best wishes
JohnMike Asked:
John (Please reply when you can)I’m looking for information about what ship a particular Carnival employee may currently be serving on. Twice now (Holiday in 007 and Carnival Conquest in 2008) my family and I have had the pleasure of sailing with a dining room hostess from Macedonia by the name of Slavica (not sure I got that spelled correctly). We were all so very taken with her, none more so than my young daughter. Slavica is so very classy, beautiful and friendly. She definitely made both of those cruises memorable for our family.
When we left Conquest in 2008 she was headed back to Macedonia for a long vacation and seemed unsure of whether or not she would be returning to CCL for another contract.
If possible I’d like to know if she is still with CCL and what ship she might be serving on. I can’t imagine that we’d be lucky enough to have her onboard for our May 2010 Carnival Dream cruise, but that would definitely be the icing on the cake!!
Its crew members like her that keeps us coming back to CCL.
Thanks John.John Says:
Hello MikeI thank you for those words for an obviously very talented dining room hostess whose name is actually spelt Slavkia. She is currently working onboard the Carnival Miracle and so she will not be with you on your Carnival Dream voyage in May next year. I am sure you will meet Ken and his brilliant dining room staff though and have more wonderful dining room memories.
Best wishes to you and the family
JohnJulia Burke Asked:
Dear John, PLEASE REPLYI have been enjoying the blog thingy since the very beginning and my family and I had the privilege of sailing with you on the Freedom in August of 2007 on a 12 day European cruise, and more recently this summer on the freedom again. We were right there with you and all the craziness on that last cruise (8/15 -8/22) before you went home to your family.
I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you that we love cruising with Carnival. It is our favorite and only cruising line. Every staff member we encounter has always been attentive, polite, and friendly. The food and service at the restaurants is first class. The shows are entertaining and you are so hilarious. On our last cruise, I actually attended the newlywed show and you had me and everyone else laughing so hard.
Our kids enjoy Camp carnival and the O2 so much, that we must enforce the “we eat diner as a family” rule to get to see them. My 7 year old, wishes she could be in 3 places at the same time. She loves cruising so much that one of her favorite phrases is “I don’t care where we go, as long as I’m on a cruise.” As for me I just love being pampered for a whole week. Because, that is what it translates into, not having to clean, cook, make beds….it is pure heaven.…
Anyway, not being able to wait until next summer to go on the “dream” we booked the 2 days cruise to nowhere out of NYC. (My husband refuses to take the kids out of school) I have been following all the posting related to the Dream very closely, and I know you will be on board. I haven’t been able to determine though, if you are going to be the CD or are going the there in your Grand ambassador role. I love you as a CD, but I think I will probably have more of an opportunity of bumping into you if you are the latter. Next year, we are cruising Alaska. We are trying to get a large group of friends and family together. To that end, we invited my mother in law and her cousin to join us on the 2 days cruise on the dream (Nov 13-14) and it would be great if they could meet you, and maybe get a photo with you.
Also, I wanted to inquire, will the back stage tour be available on those days , I would love to provide them with such an experience, besides, it would go a long way to convincing them to join us next year in Alaska.
Finally, I read about the blogger’s breakfast on Nov 7th in NYC. Can you give a little more information on that? Where will it be held? How do I get invited? It sounds like so much fun. I would love to be there.
Well John I hope this actually gets posted and you get to read it before our sailing day – Nov 13th. Our cabin # is 9391 & 9395. Thank you for all you do. Is there anything I could do for you? Anything I could bring you from NY or actually NJ? Please let me know. You do so much for everyone- that I would love to be able to something for you.
See you soon…. your blogger fan
Julia BJohn Says:
Hello JuliaThanks so much for the great posting and I am so happy that you have such fond memories of our times together onboard the Carnival Freedom. I will be there with you on the 2 day cruise onboard you’re Carnival Dream. I won’t be the CD though but will be there as the Brand Ambassador helping with the press as well as washing the dishes. I will see what I can do about a backstage tour. I know there won’t be one purse but I am sure I can organize one for you and the group. Can you leave me a note when you get onboard and I will be in touch with you …………… you can leave it at the guest services desk please? I will be seeing you soon and I am sure it will be a wonderful two days.
Thanks so very much and best wishes to you all
JohnLaura Asked:
John (please reply if you can),You mentioning how the “up and coming” CD’s are nipping at your heels made me wonder…just how are the Cruise Directors assigned to each ship? Is this done on a seniority type basis i.e. new CD’s get the smaller ships or is it totally random? Just curious as to how this is done
LauraJohn Says:
Hello LauraGood question. In days gone by we had what we would call “starter ships” for new Cruise Directors. These were the Holiday, the Jubilee and Celebration and before that the Mardi Gras and Carnivale which was my first ship. These days there are no “starter ships” and therefore a first time CD will always have a major posting for his or her first time. We also look at the type of CD the person is and what the demographics of the people who sail onboard are as well. Also, some CD’s have acts which means we need to find a ship where they can perform and some are suited more to the shorter cruises than the longer. However, there are 23 ships in the fleet right now and this means that there is a lot of last minute rescheduling due to unforeseen circumstances and this means that more often than not………it’s a question of filling in the gap with anyone we can get.
There is some method though to the madness and hopefully the proof of this is in the fact that we think our current crop of Cruise Directors are the best we have ever had.
Please let me know if you have a follow up question.
Best wishes
JohnKristin Boarman Frankenfield Asked:
Hi John (Please Respond)I wrote you yesterday but I truly am new to this blog “thingy” and not sure if I posted right or not??? I don’t know where to look for responses either!! I wrote about our amazing honeymoon on the Legend on Oct. 11th and our great service staff (I Gusti, Iis in the dining room and Alex in Golden Fleece and Michael our steward for #5157) my question was for you to settle the bet b/w me and my husband as to whether Dick Little was real or a plant? If you received my other post, I wrote how my husband ran into Mr. Little’s supposed granddaughter who claimed Dick Little is not Dick Little!!( I think she said his name was James Kennedy from Ohio) Of course as previously mentioned, it would not take away from our experience at all…just settle a little newlywed bet!!!!
Kristin (Boarman) FrankenfieldJohn Says:
Hello KristinAs always it’s an honor to welcome new people to our blog thingy and your post made it loud and clear. All I can say is like a magician…………a good CD never tells his stage secrets. I hope you found the show funny and have wonderful memories of your cruise. I read with delight your comments about the dining room staff and I will make sure they get to see your comments. Did we get to meet on the ship? Did your husband send in a honeymoon dedication for you? I hope the cruise gave you a wonderful start to your life together and tell your husband………..he lost the bet………..even if he didn’t. Remember – you’re the boss.
Best wishes to you both
JohnJim Aske:
PLEASE RESPOND!About 60 Cruise Critic members will be aboard the 11/11/09 SPIRIT cruise. I’d appreciate it if you could arrange a “Meet/Greet”. Possibly on our 1st “Fun Day at Sea”. We’d also, if anyone is available, to meet with any entertainment/CD staff. Thank you.
John Says:
Hello JimI will send this to Stuart Dunn and the groups coordinator onboard and ask him to put a note in the today at a glance section of the Capers stating “cruise critic meeting.” I hope you all have a brilliant time.
Best wishes
JohnIan Ridge Asked:
JohnI know we are not “allowed” to e-mail you directly but I needed to make sure that you saw this. I read a topic on Cruise Critic that you stated in one of your blogs that you do not understand why people like me are so ticked off at the jerks who ask you for free gifts and dining room requests. You think these people are your friends? They are not they are free loaders who make the rest of us normal cruisers look bad. We have to line up to change our dining room seating and we never get anything free so why should they. This is my opinion and that of many who read cruise critic and I thought I should express it on behalf of us all. I am part of the “Looter Rebel” group sailing on the Splendor in May10 and I can promise you none of us will be asking for anything for free.
IanJohn Says:
Hello IanI have just deleted my reply to you because after reading it back I think it came across as flippant and somewhat arrogant for which I would have eventually had to apologize. So, instead, let me just say this. I respect your opinion, having opinions is what separates us from farm yard animals and that’s what this blog is based on …….opinions. I will say just this. If you ever need me to help you or your group that is sailing in May on the Carnival Splendor…….I will be honored to do so.
Best wishes and have a brilliant cruise
John
That’s all for today. There will be more tomorrow.
Let’s take a break and allow me to go calm down a bit…………of course you are my friends ……………. right? There have been many things in my career as a CD and as a blogger that I know I have said and done that have been wrong but honestly…………….I have to admit to being jaw droppingly flabbergasted at the hostility some of the Cruise Critic folks have towards me helping others. I honestly think I may be missing the point and …………..I have to say……..It makes the hairs on my arse stand on end!
Anyway, while me and my underpants take a break , let’s check do the news and start by reading a piece of news written by our mate Vance from PR…………..who helps us all say goodbye to the Holiday.
Holiday Departs on Final Voyage for Carnival Cruise Lines
Thanks mate and we shall all miss the Holiday and we wish her good fortune in her new life.
I have many Holiday stories in my memory banks and here is a quick one top share now with you. I was in the bar department and used to spend the entire time making sure as an assistant bar manager that the main show room was properly staffed and that drink service was good. Actually, that’s bollocks. I used to stand there in my white uniform, looking at the Cruise Director and dreaming of being him. The laughs, the love the audience had for them…………I wanted it …………..and……………I wanted the lashings of rumpy pumpy that came with it.
One CD was a British chap called Mark Haslam. He was a magician and a great guy. One night I stood and watched him perform a trick called the sub trunk. This involves him standing on a trunk type box, holding a large piece of cloth in front of him….and within a flash he would change into a beautiful showgirl. The showgirl would then jump of the crate…………my favorite bit because it was pre silicon valley and when she jumped things would wobble ……….. and she would let Mark out of the trunk. Great trick.
Well, this particular night the trick went well right up to the part where she tried to get Mark out of the box. Unfortunately the key broke off and she couldn’t take the padlock off. Now ……… obviously there was a secret………..ummmm……….entrance but they couldn’t reveal this to the guests…………….and so that was the end of the show.
Well, the next night was the Talent Show and as the drum roll sounded and the MC said “Please welcome to the stage your host for tonight’s show ……your Cruise Director …….. Maaaaaaark Hasslammmmmmmmm……………..two guys pushed the trunk out to the middle of the stage and Mark…………hosted the show…………from inside the box……….the premise being that they still couldn’t get him out……………………..brilliant……………absolutely brilliant. I will share another Holiday story with you tomorrow.
Well, it’s time to say hello to Jaime who has a special Dear John letter for us.
November 3, 2009
Dear John,
I am going to get to see you in only a few days at this huge “Welcoming of the Carnival Dream” party in New York, so I figured I would say hello and fill you in on what has been going on before the big event this coming Saturday.
The upcoming weeks are going to be full of adventures and changes. This week, I am leaving mid way through the cruise to join YOU and 400,000 strangers in Rockefeller Center to co-host this huge party! I could not be more excited, I have been seeing pictures of the ship for months now, and it is almost right here in the states! I will return the Carnival Pride for one week as Assistant Cruise Director, and before I know it, it will be time for the annual Cruise Director’s conference, when I will be taking over as and sitting in the big chair for a whole week on board the Pride. In preparation, I have been watching every single cruise director’s Welcome Aboard Shows and Debarkation Talks so I can try and find what I think will work best for me. Unfortunately, there are not too many female cruise directors so I am going to have to base my routine after the following cruise directors that I have worked for: Jorge Solano – a Colombian, slightly overweight, mid 50 year old former fly on comedian; Steve Cassel – A tall, skinny, computer genius who is a master fiddle player; Kirk Benning – an extremely attractive, moderately funny guy who everyone just seems to love, and John Heald – a quick witted English guy who has worked in the cruising business for longer than I have been alive…. On second thought, I think I am going to have to make my own unique show… which may be a first for a cruise director! Shortly after I take over… I am hoping to be able to join you and John for the bloggers cruise. I would love to see all of my old friends, and meet all of the bloggers that I have been reading comments from since last year on the Carnival Splendor’s European season!
I have been back on board the Carnival Pride for just over a month now, one may think that having the same seven day itinerary every cruise may seem a bit redundant, but in actuality we always have new challenges and a wide variety of different personalities with each crowd that steps on board.
Last week for example, we had a wild animal loose in our cabin (see the picture).
We had an incredible time celebrating Halloween. We had a great turn out of guests dressing up in costume and we had a huge costume masquerade party and contest on Halloween Eve! Also, I discovered that there is such a thing as the bingo mafia… Please see the below email that was sent to me by one of the members of the entertainment staff:
Hello Kirk and Jaime,
Just thought I would inform you of my run in with the angered mob that is possibly know to some as “the angered bunch of people that don’t understand the wording in the capers and announcements”. They were extremely adamant about it having been advertised as $10 for a triple card. I informed them that the mentioned $10 was for the single card only. As like always seems to find like, all the angered mob members convened in one area of the Show lounge I explained to them that the cards start off at $10 and that the caper stated nothing in regards to it being $10 for a set of three cards. They then stated that is was announced all morning long that it was a special bingo, I mentioned that I confirmed with management that no such announcements were made. During their “welcome to our mob” meet & greet one lady exclaimed “see this is how they catch you, and don’t even get me started on the jewelry sale….”I thanked them and then left seeing that the large lady in the mob would have been able to crush my spine in half if she saw fit to do so.
Thank you
WillsNeedless to say, the head of the mob still played bingo, and ended up winning the bingo game with the largest prize value – $1,000.00. Nevertheless, she was still angry about her “overpriced” card. ::smiles:: never a dull moment.
On a brighter note, my aunt recently took an hour and a half drive from Virginia to visit me in Baltimore for the day. Before long my mom and dad will be joining me on board for their 30th wedding anniversary. And most recently, Kirk and I visited one of my old high school friends who works for some theme whose President, CEO and Chairman is a 6 foot tall perpetually happy mouse.
I couldn’t be happier. Hope all is well!
Looking forward to seeing you in New York! And, hopefully for the bloggers cruise!
All the best,
Jaime Deitsch
Assistant Cruise Director
Carnival Pride
I will be seeing Jaime here in New York in a few days as will those who will be having breakfast with us. Jaime can tell you all about her time on the Carnival Pride and her forthcoming marriage to………..oh bugger………….was that a secret…………oops.
Well, I am getting ready for the arrival of your Carnival Dream. She is on her way to Bermuda having passed through the straits of Gibraltar. As usual Radu our amazing chief photographer was on hand to capture the moment.
Thank you all for your kind words of respect, admiration and sympathy for Mr. Zonis. I read each one and it was wonderful read them all, especially one from Robert the Great Excelsior who was and still is an amazing entertainer and who was hired by Mr. Zonis. His legacy will live on and as the tributes keep coming I will be collating them all and then presenting a special blog about his life, something I hope his family will treasure.
It’s 5:55 am and I am sitting here in a hotel close to Rockefeller Center finishing off today’s blog. I didn’t want to disappoint you and not post one today because I have a 7 am – 9 pm……… ummmmm …………something. I can’t tell you what yet but will do so soon.
Anyway, I decided to get up at 5 am to write to you despite the fact that I didn’t get to the hotel until 11 pm. As I write I am watching local channel 10 news with Chuck someone and a girl with the most enormous hair I have ever seen. I love local news hair. The anchor’s is big and funny and makes me giggle, but just now they cut to a chap “in the field” and that was me rolling around in the hotel room laughing so hard that I farted at the same time. How does this reporter’s hair get like that? Do they take a picture of John Kerry to the salon? And what is it cut with? A shovel?
Local hair is one of the main reasons why all the tear-jerking, my dog was run over by a snow plough stories on local news go so wrong. They love someone in tears on local news. They’ve seen it on Oprah and they have seen it on The Apprentice and they know it is a ratings winner.
But they can never quite pull it off. The reporter does everything right. He puts on his special “caring” voice. The cameraman tightens for a Big Close Up when the photos of “Rex” the Golden Retriever are produced. But the parent in question won’t cry because . . . well you can’t when the lady reporter with the microphone has more hair on her head then all the Supremes put together.
They can go back to the studio for a couple of quick puns, a spot of off-Autocue flirting with the weathergirl and then it’s off to Brian Williams for some proper news.
The weather lady has told me thought that its cold outside and so I have my coat ready to go. I was going to wear a dress but ………..it’s a little chilly. That pathetic segue was the only way I could get into the subject of me playing Dolly sodding Parton in the Legends show. Some of you asked for photos and so for those people who have obviously not taken their medication …………. here they are………side effects may include un-controllable projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Please seek the advice of a medical professional if symptoms continue.
I need your honest opinion………………Does this dress make me look fat?
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Filed under: Links, Q&A, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Carnival Dream, Carnival Freedom, Carnival Glory, Carnival Miracle, Carnival Pride, Carnival Splendor, Holiday
Hi John ~ But re: your comment about Miami airport, try Fort Lauderdale instead. Definately worth it. The one and only time I flew out of Miami there was crime scene tape in the women’s restroom. That put me off oh just a wee bit…
Ay pero que cosa mas bonita!!! LOL
Love you John even as that horrible woman…
See you soon!! Enjoy NY and The beautiful Carnival Dream all our blogger friends. wish I was there…
Nanni
Dear John,
thank you so much for sending us the trophy, champange and fruit basket on the October 11 Legend. I had mentioned you were the reason we picked this cruise and you responded with these nice gifts. I just want you to know that we also experienced infertility and adopted 2 children and finally had a biological child. We love all three of our children with all of our hearts. Continue to enjoy your beautiful daughter. Margaret and Paul Lostetter, Eagan, MN.
No no John. In no way does that dress make you fat. Ha, ha,,ha. You make me laugh John. You can make people that are suffering about life, and for a moment laugh and enjoy what life is all about, laughter. God made you what you are and what you do. Thank God for you.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
John,
We may have never met, although I hope to one day, but I consider you, if not a friend, then at least important to my daily life. I would laugh less and that is no small thing. Isnt it laughter that extends our lives and makes it worth living? People who ask you for things that you obviously enjoy giving and cost you so little to give should only feel grateful for your consideration, not guilty for asking in the first place. If I EVER get on the same darn ship as you I am definitely asking for a favor (at least to stop and say hello to my 9 year old who loves Carnival so much he thinks you have a better job than LeBron James.) LOL You keep being your wonderful kind hearted and giving self and to heck with those who cant lighten up for Pete’s sake!!
John please reply. Is there anything more that they can do?
I have read your blog since the first words were written. I love it, you, Heidi, Kye. But because of this e-mail that my daughter copied me on I will not be taking the Carnival Destiny any time soon.
For my daughter’s wedding present we gave them a honeymoon on this ship. They had a balcony room. They sailed on the October 19th cruise. We are Platinum Cruisers and love Carnival, so of course that is who we went with. Once you have read her e-mail, which she did send to Carnival’s contact us e-mail site, you will understand why we are upset. She was not upset with the weather, which was bad, but the condition of the ship and the food and the service were really bad.
Ok here is her letter please advise if there is anything else we can do so that we can convert her new husband back to Carnivals side.
—–Original Message—–
From: Elizabeth Johnston [mailto:1x2be@live.com]
Sent: Monday, November 02, 2009 9:04 PM
Subject: Cruise I would like to start by stating that this is my third Carnival cruise and my past two experiences were wonderful. Once on the Carnival Glory and the second on the Carnival Sensation. Unfortunately, this experience,which happened to be my honeymoon, was less than enjoyable. Upon boarding the ship, we immediately noticed that two of the sliding glass doors in the Sun and Sea dining area were out of order and had chairs blocking them;those were eventually fixed however, another one broke during the cruise while we were dining nearby. Later that day, as we made our way down to our cabin, we noticed an extremely strong smell of urine in the hallway. It was concentrated in mainly one area of the hall and was quite offensive. We made sure not to walk by that area during the remaining time on the ship.
We would like to say that our stateroom was more than we expected and we were happy with the accommodations. The bed was comfortable, the room was clean, and the steward service was excellent (we love the towel animals).We were, however, disappointed in the state of the rest of the ship. On numerous occasions, one or more of the elevators were either out of service (signs were on the elevator doors) or stuck on one floor. We know this because we stood there waiting numerous times and watched as the elevators never moved, particularly the glass elevators. Many times, we opted to take the stairs because the elevators never moved. This is an ok option for us but my parent have trouble with their legs and would never have made it. Other guests we spoke with on the ship expressed the same complaint. There were also many places where there was broken trim, peeling paint, or other cosmetic damage in need of repair. For example, when we took a swim in the sun and sea pool, we were surprised to have blue paint on our bodies wherever we touched the sides or bottom of the pool. You could swipe your hand across the side and it would be blue when you pulled it back. It is unacceptable to have the pool paint come off on the guests. We did not use the Lido deck pool again.
As for the food experience, I would have to say that the buffet food was what we expected; however, some of the buffet servers were not. We were met with frowns, blank expressions, or poor attitudes no matter what we said or did. We would smile graciously and thank all servers but would seldom receive a smile or “you’re welcome” in return. This made for an unpleasant experience every time we stepped up to the buffet line, regardless of the time of day. I would like to point out that not all servers on the buffet line were this way; the servers that dished out desserts were quite pleasant. On top of the buffet service being less then desirable, our experience in the Universe dining hall also left us disappointed. Although Michael was an excellent waiter and was very personable and attentive, the food arrived consistently luke warm – even the fruit salads. This had not been my experience on my previous trips on Carnival. I had talked up the wonderful dinners and atmosphere with my husband prior to our booking the trip for our honeymoon and was very disappointed that it fell short of our expectations. The mozzarella sticks were solid, the stuffed mushrooms were cold, the fruit salad was tepid, and the entrees were never hot. We felt like we had been forgotten and that is why our items were cold. Our dinners would typically take around an hour and 45 minutes to complete even though we ordered immediately upon being seated. Our first entrees did not arrive until at least 30 minutes after placing our orders. Since we were sitting at a table for two, behind a wait station, we felt perhaps we were overlooked. I would like to reiterate that we don’t believe that it was Michael’s fault that the food was slow and cold upon arrival. Overall, we felt that the crew worked hard to make the cruise an enjoyable experience. We felt that Captain Pier Paolo Scala was very warm and more approachable and attentive then the captains on other cruises I have been on. We just wanted to let you know about the opportunities for improvement and our disappointment in the experience that we had on the Carnival Destiny.
If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us. Thank you for your time.
Thank You for allowing me to voice my concerns on our web site.
Love
CruisingGrandma
Carol-Ann
Dear John,
please reply
I for one like to consider you a friend……….I have never met you but will be meeting you, along with my children, very soon on the Carnival Dream in March………..and even though we have never met, because of all the wonderful and personal (sometimes too personal……..just kidding) things you speak about on this blog thingy, I believe a lot of us feel like we know you. Please do not let these negative people that like to criticize you get you down……..there are far more of us out here that appreciate all that you do.
I plan on bringing you a token when I visit you on the Carnival Dream………..are you really a 5X or is that an exaggeration? I know you have slimmed down quite a bit and I want to get it right.
Your FRIEND,
Lisa
Hi John, No the dress doesn’t make you look fat. I do have some suggestions. I longer skirt and less legs would help. The shoes should be black. Black hose would help too. All one color skirt, hose and shoes has a slimming effect. Hope I have helped.
See you the 13th on the Carnival Dream. I am looking forward to cruising with you again.
Jo
John,
I am coughing here because I am laughing so hard! That just made are day and you need to powder your nose big time. You will be happy to know that on our past trip last sunday to your favorite vacation spot, The Mouse House. Bridie told a lady off who went to the back of line got her family of 4 and took them back to wear she was standing in the middle of the line. What was really scary is the lady could not see why bridie was doing this to her! WHAT??? We too like linda and mike can’t wait for the dream to arrive and will be at the first sail away party here in two weeks.
Big Cross dressing err Fans that is,
Frank and Bridie
John,
I hope you have wonderful time in New York City, a place I hope to visit someday.
Today’s blog had to be the best ever!! We might take you up on the offer of the free fruit basket. We last cruised with our daughter and son-in-law on the Carnival Conquest in September. We were all amazed at how many moaners there are out there. I mean you are on vacation right? How bad can it be? Some people however refuse to have fun.
Work was a bit stressful at times today. Thanks again ever so much for making me giggle. Can’t wait to meet you in 115 days on board the beautiful Carnival Dream. We can’t wait.
Thanks for all you do for all of us.
Bobbi
John, I don’t mind cleaning the coffee and soda off my computer screen but when you turn my keyboard into a barf bag that’s going just way to far. And yes that dress does make you look FATTER. I see you still got your smiley boxers. Did you ever get out those curry induced racing stripes.
You got us all here waiting for news on the Godmother and plans for the naming.
BIG ED
John:
Wow…. what a Blog? I don’t know where to start.
Before I start….I do want to send Heidi’s Mom our “heal quickly vibes” after her biking accident.
Please let Heidi know that we are keeping her Mom in our prayers for a quick and complete healing.
David has the joy of flying almost every week…so DJ and I are constantly entertained by his “experiences”.
Some of the funniest ones have actually come from the wonderful First Class ( that he does not have to pay for….I love LOYALTY programs!! ) Also (because of the Loyalty program) the 3 of us can carry up to SIX suitcases for FREE on Delta!!!
Of course he told me this AFTER we got to the airport and I had packed for a 7 day cruise for the 3 of us in 2 suitcases….BOTH under 50 pounds for our Valor cruise last month.
Just wait until next time!!!
We are THRILLED to hear that our precious Jaime will be on the Blogger’s cruise with us.
I have sent word to Josh (Big Sexy) that he had better take excellent care of our JEWEL!!
As far as you assisting others….it does not bother me at all that you arrange tables for others or that you can help a Blogger with an issue.
I think most of the folks on Cruise Critic just do not want you to be taken advantage of and their comments are more out of concern for you….and not so much what you do for others.
They just did not want you to think you were obligated to help the rude and crude leeches of the world. I think you have demonstrated that you can handle those types, while still assisting the true loyal fans that need your help.
The only thing funnier than the hair styles of the local TV news here in the South is the one tooth wonder that the crew always seem to find to “interview on the scene”.
I am sorry, but I will never do a news interview about a tragedy or serious matter.
Everyone interviewed comes off sounding like the last living member of the “Ernest Goes On Vacation” family.
Radu…AMAZING photos once again.
Remember to watch your blood sugar and eat when you are suppose to. You have a hectic schedule listed….take care of yourself!!
And no, John, that dress makes you look “fetching”… not fat!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend ~ who is counting down to December 3rd~ DJ)
Hi John,
All i can say is woooweeee, wow, wow !!!! Hot, Hot, Hot !!! My only wish would be to have had a video !! Thank You for my daily laughs…
John I was just thinking, as I looked at your picture in the dress and since you asked, that dress most definitely makes your arse look big
Congratulations to Jaime, I hope to see you on the Bloggers cruise in four weeks. Get all of the rest you can, Big Ed’s Evil Krewe will be there. There’s never a dull moment with our Krewe on board.
Countess Carolyn of the Evil Krewe
Heidi tell your Mum that the Krewe all send their prayers for a speedy recovery.
Loved the note from Jamie – especially since we will sail on the Pride on 11/8 which means we will probably not have the opportunity to sail with Jamie.
Enjoy your time in NYC – and the World Series – you are in our neighborhood now!
John reply or not, me don’t care!
Ha ha ha, you look ravishing in a dress, and the silver bra just adds that extra little touch..oh my…
Now, you have some pull, I somehow wish you could convince a certain hot, hunky crewmember to be on the ship I will be on in January, that would be nice! I’d like for you to order him to be my, uhm, ok family post, friend *wink wink* Damn, he is fine, and if he can win over an 80 year old, oh my……ok, my inner 21 year old is speaking for me (but I am actually 40!)…..Damn, Carnival as some fine looking crew members!!!!
Yes, you are great in helping those who want help, so do keep it up, cuz I, and everyone else I hope, appreciates it……
Holiday–I sailed on her Dec 21-28, 1991. I had a great time and spent a wonderful Xmas day in paradise and NOT cold, snow, and annoying family!!!!!!!
HUGZ John!
John – PLEASE REPLAY
Of course the dress does not make you look fat, dear. The color black is very slimming.
What’s that Mrs. MTSFP? I forgot to take my anti-psychotics this morning? Well, that explains the weird images I have been seeing.
JustJon
Breathtaking photos…yes, the ones of you in a dress but especially the ones of the straits of Gibraltar.
Also, I have to agree with you about airport and cruise security. When I am in the security lines and I hear people griping, I want to say “I bet the passengers on the airplanes on 9/11 would be grateful to be standing in one of these lines”. I don’t enjoy being in them either, but complaining surely doesn’t make them move any faster.
Enjoy your New York week,
Lisa and George
John the Photos are amazing! We are eagerly counting down the days till our Dream Cruise on Jan 9! I wsh we could be in NYC. When will the Magic go for sale? Why do so many lines have the same names for thier ships?
Lexi
Farewell to the Holiday, I will always have great memories of that ship, as it was my first cruise ever. After the short 3 day cruise aboard the Holiday, I was hooked on cruising.
John – Please Reply
I happened to be on ebay today purchasing a gift for my hubbys birthday when I got the notion to do a search for ‘Carnival Cruise’. I was amazed by what I found.
Can you believe that people were auctioning their past guest ship pins? There are so many of us out there that want Carnival to bring them back and yet there are people out there that could care less about them. I also found auctions for a solid gold plastic ship on a stick, Carnival Cruise Barbie and casino chips from various ships.
Have you ever seen a PC game called: CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES TYCOON – Manage and build a fleet of fantastic Mega-Liners. Plan fun and exciting theme cruises. 2 modes of gameplay: At Port and At Sea. They have it for sale. hopefully you won’t post this anytime soon so I can win the bid to buy the game.
Have a great time in NY
Roxi
Hi John,
Thank you for the pictures from the Carnival Dream. Any word yet on who the Godmother will be? I’m looking forward to the blog about the New York breakfast/event.
Hi Jaime – Thank you for the newest Dear John letter! Is John just teasing about your upcoming marriage? If he isn’t, Congratulations!
Clair
Hi John:
Just starting reading your blog and I really enjoy it. Honestly I don’t know where you find the time to answer all email, write a blog, and work a full-time CD job — you are amazing.
I was on the oct 3 sailing of the Carnival Dream and WHAT a ship!!! Most people I spoke with agreed the layout is excellent as I never felt like there was 3600 passengers on board the ship. This was my first cruise and I am hooked.
You made the right choice by selecting Todd Whitmore (sp?) as the CD for the DREAM. The entire entertainment staff was just great and James Dunn (asst CD) and Todd (CD) play off each other so natural and are so darn funny. Ken and the dinning staff are just awesome and made us feel so at home each evening at table 445.
I do have one complaint that perhaps you can pass along to management as I am not sure where to send this. We had pre-paid for transfer from and to the ship from the Rome airport. We selected this over other means of transportation as we felt this would be the easiest and would be the least stressful for my father. My father has been ill and getting to and from the ship was where we feared he would meltdown unless we planned ahead.
Well, our worst fears took place as Carnival choose not to employ the baggage porters the day we arrived at the airport to begin our big adventure. Instead, we had to pull our own luggage off and then follow a mass chaos of confused guests to the other end of the airport to the outside taxi lane curb. Taxi cabs trying to get out, employees desperate to find a way to get small groups of guests to cross safely to the other side to deposit all luggage so it could be loaded on to the semi trucks. Then we got scrambled back into the airport trying to follow the right employee out to the waiting buses that were on the other side of the airport. It was very hot outside and as a result my father’s blood pressure dropped so here we were trying to prop him up and get onto the right bus. If we had know this we would have arranged other transportation as Carnival didn’t not deliver on what was sold. What was sold to us is we would identify the luggage and Carnival would take it from there and we would be escorted to our bus without the fuss and worry of luggage.
To some people it might sound like I am lazy but when you are traveling with senior citizens that have medical issues it is quickly compounded into something really serious.
Now, I must say we did make it to the ship and did have to seek medical attention and they were superb and resolved his medical issues and he was able to enjoy the rest of the cruise a few days later — he is still talking about what a great time it was for him and all of our family.
Best,
-Chris
I won’t make any comment other than your boobs are wayyyyyyyy to small. It seems that when ever a man dresses as a women he always over does the chest area. The crew in wardrobe just did not do you justice
Hey John, just got off the Spirit in San Diego yesterday. While we were attending one of the Carnival parties, a video was shown and you were sitting at a desk. My wife ask if I supposed that you were sitting in your underpants as the video was shot!!!
Hi John, Its fun
Dear John – who gave us Gibraltar, Jaime AND you in the ’slimming’ dress – this blog is THE BEST! Thanks for making the world such a small, and friendly, place.
John,
The new airport x ray machine is currently being tested at Manchester Airport.
Here’s an image of my brother going through on his way to the departure lounge ….. lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkjA1_6IxjQ
Loving todays blog
Bestest wishes
Lorraine & Mom Susan
John Please Reply
A while back I had asked you about info concerning our cabin on the Dec 3rd Dream Cruise. And you found that out and posted it for us. Yesterday, as I was reading the roll call for the Dec 3rd Dream Crusie on cruise critic, someone posted this:
“ONE NOTE TO PEOPLE WITH FREE UPGRADES TO A SPA CABIN
If you have received a free upgrade from a “regular cabin” to a Spa Interior or a Spa Balcony, the bracelets and the perks do not come with the upgrade.
If you paid more in an UPSELL situation….MAKE SURE to ask the rep IF the perks come with the upsell. IF it does, (unless they have worked this out since last November) MAKE SURE your TA or PVP contacts the ship DIRECTLY and lets them know you have paid for these services and to make sure the bracelets are in your room. Same thing IF you are upgraded from a Spa Interior to a Spa Balcony. Get your TA or PVP involved. Especially if you have a PVP, they can contact the ship directly and make sure everything you paid for is waiting for you”
John, Diane and I paid for the upgrade to a Spa Level Balcony Room (Category 8P #11240). Will we get all the bells and whistles that go with the rooms? Diane is really looking forward to using the T-pool and other amemnities. Please help me make sure my wife will be able to prune herself properly!
Thanks and I look forward to meeting you at the blog thingy get togethers on the Dream.
John
The Dress looks perfect.Can you let me know where you bought it from , I am on the look out for one very similar..!!
Gaz
John, You may reply if you desire. I sailed on the 10-15 Dream cruise. I have been a loyal RCI fan but couldn’t pass up this itinerary and the Early Saver price. My other 2 cruises on CCL in 97 and 01 left something to be desired. I was truly surprised at how much CCL has improved over these years. The decor was much less glitzy than other ships and didn’t shock the senses. I was really impressed with the food and service in both the Crimson anytime dining and the Lido buffets. Every table we had was good for site lines, position, etc. and every wait team was excellent.
The Lido had a great variety of food of very good quality. Especially liked the Mongolian Wok, Pasta Bar and Deli. However the layout of the serving areas could be improved by using the station concept like RCI where you can go to the area you prefer, use both sides of the station and not have to wait in the cafeteria lines.
The choice of entertainment in the evenings was phenomenal. Loved the shows, the musicians, the comedy club. Very dissappointed in the Piano Bar. The piano player was terrible and the smell of smoke was overpowering. Canned music in almost all venues was so loud that conversation was impossible. When the live music started some was at a good level and some was way too high. The shows in the main theater was awesone but again much too loud. In fact, I suspect the singers were even better than they sounded in the theater. Also the sight lines left something to be desired.
All in all I enjoyed my cruise and would sail CCL again. I have changed my opion of CCL. I guess it is a matter of ship and itinerary that makes the difference. Also next time I would choose a smaller ship. While the Dream has some great innovative features, Deck 5 for instance, I still prefer a smaller ship with less passengers.
Kudos to the Captain of the Dream for keeping us safe and getting out of 70mph winds and 40 ft swells.
Dear John,
I loved your pictures of the straits of Gibraltar. I remember how much enjoyed going through there last September with you. I also remember that very funny “story” that you told about the 83 year old lady, her hat and her flying dress LOL.
It was so nice to hear from our Jaime. What wonderful news that she will get to be a CD if for only one week. I knew when we met her on the Splendor that she would be a rising star for Carnival. She is worthy of getting her own ship one day and I hope that one day is soon.
Loved the picture of you “doing Dolly”. You truly are such an amazing performer.
Now on to the letter from the CC, I have no idea what to call “them”. I do not believe for a minute that there are people on CC that think we take advantage of you and that they are only looking out for your best interest and that is why they post the things they do. They are jealous of something that they will never understand. They have no idea what a kind and generous man you are. You have this huge heart and and you have the title of Senior Cruise Director for a reason, you care about people and you want to make their cruise as special as you can. When there is a problem, you want to correct it and if not you then you will take that problem to someone that will. We are your friends and we care for you as much as you care for us. Do not think about that “person” again, they are just not worth the energy to put them in a thought.
Keep smiling John, you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
Dear John,
No that dress doesn’t make you look fat. I was happy to see that you had shorts on though, otherwise the audience might have gotten to see a bit more of you! Looking forward to meeting you on the Dream Nov 12. Do you give out signed photos??
Oh, John….the photos of the Carnival Dream passing through the Straits of Gilbraltar were so beautiful. I hope that this silly economy gets turned around so that Carnival finds it advantageous to schedule more European and Mediterranean itineraries again — and so we can afford to cruise there again!
Terri
John;
Loved the blog today…the dress is very flatering..:-)..
I hear you about the moaners…I have two artificial knees and so I get to partake in the wanding ritual every time we fly..do I mind..NO…if that is what it takes to keeps us all safe then….wand away….
Have fun in NY..it’s a great town..
Emmy
Hi John!
I was thinking that we were going to hear something else about the flight yesterday, but didn’t expect it to involve the security at the Miami airport. At least you got to NY safely.
Though I hate the security process, it is so much better than the alternative.
Sad about the Holiday leaving. I remember her fondly.
Thanks for the pics and Jaime’s letter.
Enjoy your time in NYC.
Take care!
David
LOL, John. I’m usually just so happy to be going somewhere when I’m flying (therefore in an airport) I’m oblivious to what other people are doing. Except that time flying out of Miami that I got taken out of the security line after the xray scanner found something “suspicious” in my carry on bag, and after having it’s entire contents dumped on a table, discovering it was the Christmas ornament of the Triumph I bought onboard (note to others: metal, laser cut ships apprently look like weapons on the scanner). And then the uppity lady next to me, who was having a fit about the TSA not letting her take her GALLON of “very expensive perfume” with her onboard was just waved through (I’m assuming so she’d shut up, but STILL, no FAIR!).
I think it’s that you’re officially a jaded world-traveller now, John.
No, John, the dress does not make your arse look fat – but it does make your ta-tas look too small. LOL! Have a great time in NYC – wish we could be there. Healing hugs along with many prayers to Heidi’s mum!
Dear John,
Saw the video of the new scanning method and I have to say that it looked alot like you in that scanner.
Are you my friend?
I have never been to your house.
I have never received a Christmas or Birthday card from you and Heidi.
I have never had you call me up in the middle of the night asking me to come and bail you out of jail.
I have never had to loan you money.
You have never borrowed any tools from my garage and not returned them for years.
You have never hit on my wife after drinking too much at a family get together.
Yeah Billy no mates, you are probably my best friend.
We may not have the same type of bond as you and your mates that you have grown up with but if you ever needed someone to do any of the above (Except hitting on the wife) I would be there for you and I would expect many other. Have you ever seen “Its a wonderful life” with Jimmy Stewart? He thought that he was in such deep stuff that he thought about ending his life until a crazy angel changed every thing. If you ever need us (Me) just call. We will be there for you as you are for us. Why would we do this for you even though you have never met alot of us? It is a rare thing to meet someone with such a loving and caring heart.
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
I need your honest opinion………………Does this dress make me look fat?
Ummmmmm, so how do you like my hair??? lol
YES, the dress does make you look fat BUT makes us love you even more for having the b***s to wear it!!!
Having been born, raised and worked in Manhattan for more years than I’m willing to tell, (now living in Palm Beach to be closer to the ports) if you have/had time, talk a walk… That in itself will give you plently more blogs to write about!! I love Manhattan and hope you will too…
John,
You look so cute in your dress. Very slimming.
Getting ready to fly in and out of Maimi for our Carnival Valor cruise, you have prepared me for the adventure. Hope my adventure is boring.
Wendy
Hi John: this blog is amazing. I’ve never met you, but I hope to some day. Myself and 7 others ladies cruised on the Fantasy on 10/26. We thoroughly enjoyed the Halloween Party. OMG we want to book again for another Halloween! You have 6 new official “hooked” cruisers. Myself 9 cruises with Carnival and my mother-in-law 9 cruises with Carnvial. This was our 1st “girls” cruise. This was only the best yet to come. We would love to send pictures to some of our Cabin Stewards and Dining Room Servers – do they really get the mail we send? How long does it take? One more thing, we ladies need more lights for our make-up – think you can pass this on? THANK YOU!!
Dear John,
I forgot about the question of the day.
DOES THIS DRESS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?
I shall answer the same way as I do my wife.
No Dear, and that underwear makes you look soooooooooo sexy!
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
Hi John,
I just had to write after reading today’s blog. What a shame that couple at the airport didn’t do what I always do: Talk to the people waiting in line with me. I’m sure you would have had them laughing and grateful that they had to wait.
On our last trip to Disney, we flew down and just used the Disney transportation everywhere. On our last day, on a bus to Typhoon Lagoon, my son said to me, “Mom, what’s the matter? You haven’t made a friend on the bus yet!” I was a little tired after 5 days of walking, walking, walking! I usual make “friends” wherever we go to pass the waiting time.
I love your blog thingy. Keep being you!
John(please, please reply),
Per the instructions of your September 19th reply, I am reposting the below… I submitted the repost on October 26th, but while awaiting moderation it apparently disappeared into the blogosphere… So here goes…
My wife (4th cruise) and I (3rd cruise) will be sailing out of Los Angeles on the Carnival Splendor 11/15/09 and will be celebrating two occasions. First will be a delayed 15 year anniversary celebration. Second, and the reason for the delayed anniversary, is the celebration of the adoption of our first child. Do you think it would be possible for you or the Captain to send my wife, Amy, a little note of congratulations? I am sure it would mean a lot to her…
Thanks much and wishing you smooth sailing,
Jason
Loving your blog and that outift is adorable..but I need to know how does one post a question to you?
Dear John,
I missed my daily dose of your blog yesterday, due to a sick child and crazy work deadlines, but boy am I glad I came back today to read this! You crack me up!
Here’s my 2 cents on 2 things:
1. Those Cruise Critic members need to get a life if their biggest problem is that you’re kind enough to help the people who ask for help.
Honestly, talk about Mr. & Mrs. Moaner! The only thing worse than people who moan when they’re slightly incovenienced is the people who moan when they’re not inconvenienced at all!
I think it’s refreshing to see someone who cares so much about customer satisfaction, that he’ll entertain any request and do whatever he can to ensure a guest has the best cruise experience. In this day and age, good customer service everywhere else seems to be nonexistent, but you, my friend, are proof that there are still people who care and take pride in what they do. So kudos to you.
2. About the dress. I’m actually jealous that it looks better on you than it would on me! LOL!
Laura
The dress makes you look “Fluffy” not fat.
Cheers,
ERNIE
John
Welcome to NY!!! What a time to be here with the Yankees World Series win and all!
LOVE the dress! In fact I think you should wear it on Saturday to the Bloggers Breakfast!!!
See you on Saturday! Can’t wait, it’s the perfect “holdover” till Dec 3 on the DREAM!!
Kerry
Dear Rachel,
You just did!
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
Funny, funny, funny, actually it’s hilarious! The picture of you in the dress and the blonde wig that is and is it true that Jamie has found her Mr. Right or were you just kidding?
John:
Looking forward to meet you in NY.
JOHN (or one of the Stephanies) PLEASE REPLY.
Darling husband and I are booked on Carnival Dream, December 3 and registered on the bloggers’ cruise (we think). We read a comment from a fellow blogger some time ago about booking a bloggers shore excursion but have not seen any information on line. Have we some how “missed the boat?” How will we received/or will we receive bloggers information before sailing? Thanks for your blog – a wonderful and regular read!
Your friends from Prince Edward Island, Canada
Terry and Danielle
Dear John,
I wanna start by saying as I was reading the blog (after the CC comment) and all of the replies I kept going back and forth as how to write this message. So here’s what I came up with!
I’m your friend!
I may have never met you but you give me such joy everytime I read your blog (which is why I’m catching up from being so far behind!) But you also provide help and assistance to make life a little easier for people’s vacations, alot of whom really deserve a break, take the young man who became man-of-the-house in such a horrible way. I’m sure you provided such joy to them. And alot of the people who ask for special seating or what-not have special needs or occasions. No one would say a thing to a resturant hostess who helped a guest who needed to be sat at a booth versus a table (ok well some do because I’ve had people roll their eyes at my mom making this request for her bad knee, but you get what I’m saying.) I also know from personal experiance how amazing you can be because when I first started reading this blog I sent you my story and asked for advice and you listened and gave great advice and even told me to give you our travel info so you could do something special for us (which I wasn’t even after-but I think is so amazing of you!) It just made this expereince for me and I can’t thank you enough for listening and helping!
Ok long rant over, stepping off soap box!
Thank you for all you do John!
Jenn Fisher