So, like most of this city I was watching the baseball World Series between the two countries of Philadelphia and New York. Actually, I think I have actually been watching the world spitting championships.

Bloody hell, can these people spit. The rule seems to be that everybody has to be chewing something, at all times — gum, tobacco, fingernails, toenails, boogers and a fan or two. And not in regular style quantities, either but in dinosaur portions. There was a guy out there last night who apparently has the rather unfortunate name of Mr. A. Rod who had a wad of gum in his cheek the size of a puppy. Actually, it might even have been a puppy. And what goes in invariably comes out. Then they cut to the manager just as he unleashed a stream of tobacco juice the width of Hudson. Then just as I was recovering from this charming sight the camera a player called Derek Cheater who was shelling peanuts with his teeth and lips and regurgitating the shrapnel like some kind of demented human beaver.
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So here I am in New York which regular readers of the blog will know that its time……once again………….for one of my I Hate Flying starts to the blog. And of course, if you look hard enough there is always a story to tell, especially if you are flying out of Miami International Airport which might as well be renamed Charles De Gaulle because rude people work there …………..and it smells.

However, while there is no excuse for the check-in lady to be rude (she seemed delighted that it would cost me $100 to check in my bags and my underpants – smug cow) there are some people who as much as I would like to think they could be pleasant………….really and truly can’t be.
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The lady at Enterprise Car Hire in Miami must have looked at me and thought “right, this fat bastard will never fit in a regular car.”……………actually………..I forgot……….this is Miami …………. so the lady at Enterprise Car Hire looked at me and thought “Claro…..esta grande bastardo nader fito ino el pockito auto.”

And so she gave me something called a Ford Flex.

For those of you who have no idea about this car…….let’s just say it’s the size of the old Mardi Gras and holds nearly as many passengers. Because this is a car that can accommodate seven people and their luggage and some dogs, even if the dogs in question have just won the Biggest Dogs in the World competition. It would also fit all the shopping a family of 24 could conceivably need for to survive the fall out of nuclear war. I can’t possibly describe how ugly it is except to say…………………. it is the Norwegian Epic of I-95.
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Today’s blog is not what I had planned to post. Instead of a fun look at my life as a Carnival Cruise Director I will be writing about a man whose heart beat the red, white and blue of Carnival Cruise Lines………….his name was Meshulam (Mike) Zonis ……………….. who passed away last night.

Who?………………….I know that’s what many…………… if not all of you are saying ………………”Mike who?……………”Never heard of him?”

So, let me tell you what I know and what I remember of this great man.
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