I guess because I have been traveling, flying and getting back into the swing of being a Cruise Director I haven’t had time to sit back and realize…….that I am now 45 years of age ……………. bloody hell………….I am 45 years old………and that frightens me nearly as much as you would all be frightened if you saw me as am now………sitting here in my cabin …………. in my underpants.
But there is no escaping it……I am 45 years old …….bugger! And examining myself this morning it is quite obvious that age is not being a good mate. My hair………well not only I am now as grey as a Russian apartment building but I know seem to have forests of hairs of the same color sprouting out of my nose and I guess it won’t be long before my bladder will cease to function. I am already making old man noises when I get out of bed in the morning or rise from a sitting position………”ohhhhahhh” I heard myself say this morning when I got up off the toilet ………….. although in my defense I had been sitting there for 20 minutes.
But the greatest fear I face is not that I might lose the ability to reach the toilet in time or lose my hearing……….nope…………..it’s that I might lose my sense of humour (spelt correctly). It’s all I have after all and as a Cruise Director and as a husband it’s the only weapon I have in my locker. After all, I am I know as ugly as an inside out baboon and if I lose my sense of humour (spelt correctly) I am well and truly buggered.
I say this with good reason because of a Larry King interview. As some of you may know one of my greatest achievements as blogger is that I got to interview my hero John Cleese. In fact the interview link thingy still sits proudly on top of the blog. However having watched Mr. Cleese on this Larry King interview I am so sorry to say that John Cleese is a prime example of the humour thing. I mean ………..one minute he’s strutting about in a Torquay hotel as Basil Fawlty and the audience is reduced to absolute hysterics. Then suddenly, here he is on Larry King’s show talking about divorce, psychology and his love of Mr. Obama. I sat there……waiting for his brilliant and incomparable sense of humour (spelt correctly) to come bursting through…….. just one joke………..one quick sarcastic funny……….but no ………. nothing………. bugger all …………… just doom and bloody gloom and political bollocks.
I knew that when Carnival made me a Cruise Director it wasn’t because I had any great talent or because I was as dashing as GQ model………….nope………..it was because for whatever strange reason………………some people found my attempts at humour (spelt correctly) to be funny.
It was the same at school. I knew that as ugly as I was what with my hooked nose and bent tooth that my chances of rumpy pumpy with anything female with a pulse were probably bugger all. The only way round this was to try and make the girls laugh. And so, while the girls stood on the side of the soccer pitch staring at the muscles of the three-legged sports jocks…….I was standing nearby prattling on about a nun that walks into a bar and doing my impression of Mick Jagger. This is the last, and indeed only, resort of the ugly.
Let me explain………ladies………. do you look at Robin Williams and think “Phwoar”? ………….. no you don’t………. and what about Jerry Seinfeld? I mean come on. It’s nice that so many people enjoy reading this blog thingy……but do any of you think I am Johnny Depp in a fat suit?
So, if it’s true what they say that good looking people aren’t funny and that fat, ugly people like me are, then it stands to reason that humour is essentially used as a tool for whittling out a bit of rumpy pumpy that might not otherwise be available. And that brings me neatly to the problems of me being older.
No one, not even Michael Douglas can stand in front of a mirror, naked, and think…….. “mmmm, yeah , no wonder Catherine Zeta Jones wants me.” I stood naked in front of my mirror this morning and thought “How the bloody hell did that beach ball get inside my stomach?”
Luckily despite the hair in my nose, the beach ball in my stomach and the hemorrhoids in my bottom I still have my sense of humour (spelt correctly) and if I ever loose it I will leave Carnival Cruise Lines and become an Cruise Director for RCI.
Time for today’s questions……………….away we go.
Samantha Garrett Asked:
Hi John–Pls reply.I am sailing on Carnival Spirit March 27, 2010 for my 30th birthday and I was wondering if you could tell me which nights are the formal nights for this sailing. I’m looking to get reservations at the Supper Club, but not on a formal night to celebrate my 30th!
Thanks John!
SamJohn Says:
Hello SamIt will not be too long before you are on the Carnival Spirit and enjoying this beautiful ship and having loads of fun. The cruise elegant night is on the second evening of the cruise so hopefully this will hopefully help you decide what night to book your Steakhouse reservation. If you need help with anything else please let me know.
Best wishes
JohnLori Oates Asked:
John, Please reply if you wishIt was a pleasure meeting you at the Dream Inauguration Party. I didn’t get to talk to you as much as I would have liked but you were very busy. I just got off my wonderful Freedom cruise. I must say that being on a ship on New Years is absolutely fantastic. That is the best New Year’s Eve I have ever had. My family was with me and I was doing one of my favorite things, cruising. Thank you very much. Wee Jimmy is terrific. The ship had an unfortunate incident during our last sea day and he and the crew handled that incident very well. It is not every day that the Coast Guard hovers over your ship to evacuate a passenger. Well done by everyone involved. They kept the guests informed of everything happening the entire time. We all appreciated that. God Speed to the family of the gentleman airlifted off the ship.
As far as Carnival commercial songs how about: Everybody Have Fun Tonight by Wang Chung.Keep up the great work. 193 days until my next cruise!!
John Says:
Hello LoriIt was my pleasure to meet you and sorry that it was a brief encounter but it was as you saw a very busy time. I was so happy to read about your experiences on the Carnival Freedom and that it was a fun way to welcome in 2010. Thank you for paying homage to the crew and the wonderful work of the men and women of the United States Coast Guard. They are often the forgotten branch of those who protect us and it’s always good to be reminded of the extraordinary work they do. I hope that the guest who was evacuated from the ship made a full recovery. I will make sure that the ship sees your words of praise. Thanks for the kind words and that great song suggestion.
Best wishes
JohnLorie Asked:
Dear John (please reply),My husband and I were on the cruise from the 2001 Bedtime video you posted from YouTube. We are both retired musician/entertainers and never laughed so hard as we did when watching this skit live, you truly showed one of the greatest displays of courage we’ve ever seen! Having dealt with characters myself, it’s always fun to see what people will come up and that show was absolutely priceless! It’s one to share with the masses, I dare say if you posted it on Carnivals main page as they type of ‘fun’ you can enjoy while cruising, you would increase passenger count. John, you are a true entertainer and know how to work with people to get the most out of them. God Bless and keep on entertaining us!
John Says:
Hello Lori2001 seems a long, long time ago and I am glad that your cruise and the bedtime story provided you with so many great memories and that those memories came flooding back when you watched the You Tube thingy. I will be performing the bedtime story again next week here on your Carnival Dream and hopefully it will continue to bring laughter to many. Thanks for those kind words and hopefully we will get to cruise with each other again very soon.
Best wishes
JohnMike Surzyn Asked:
John (Please Reply),My wife and I have booked our 25th Carnival Cruise sailing on the Carnival Miracle (Feb. 8th). I called the Milestone Dept. (1-877-225-8477) phone number to inform them that this was our “25th Milestone” cruise (25% OBC) and was asked if I had a letter stating that fact. I said that I had just gotten off the Carnival Dream cruise from NYC on December 3rd (which by the way was a very nice time)….and had not yet received any “Milestone Letter”…..the person I spoke with then informed me that there was nothing they could do without the authorization number on this letter. I mentioned that I suspect that since we had just gotten off the “Dream” ship in December, and we are again sailing on Feb. 8th, that there didn’t seem to be much time in-between to issue me a letter, and that I would appreciate expediting a “Milestone Authorization Number” for me…..the person then went on to say that you don’t get a letter until AFTER your 25th cruise and the discount would be applied to your 26th cruise……is this true John??…..That would be like celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary on the 26th year wouldn’t it??…..Everything I read on the Web regarding this says it should be applied to the 25th cruise……thank you for your help in this matter John.
John Says:
Hello MikePlease don’t worry. I will take care of this immediately and will contact Samantha in our rewards department who I know will make sure all is well. Please let me know if you have any other concerns and may I say a huge thank you for your continuing loyalty to Carnival Cruise Lines.
Best wishes
JohnRoma Asked:
John – PLEASE REPLYWe are very excited to be sailing with you on our Carnival Dream February 6th. We had hoped to see the Space shuttle Endeavour launch before our sailing but have since found that the date has been moved to February 7th at 04.39.
Do you know if we will be able to see the launch from the upper decks? If so, will the bridge officers be able to tell us which way to look? Since this is the last year the shuttles are operating, it would be a great thing for us to say we ’saw’ it. BTW – It may also be an interesting line item to put in the Capers. I’m sure one or two of our fellow cruisers would be interested in it
See you in a month!
CheersJohn Says:
Hello RomaI checked with both the NASA website and with the Miami office and it looks like we will miss it. The shuttle is due to launch on the night of Sunday the 7th as you said and the Captain told me he doubts very much that with the ship’s position that we will have a good view of the launch. However, if the weather is favorable and the skies clear then maybe we will be able to see something. If that is the case I will of course let everyone know. I hope you are ready for a brilliant and fun time. Best wishes and see you soon.
JohnLynn Asked:
John – please replyI want to know why Carnival does not have dance hosts. I just sailed on the Freedom and unlike Celebrity and Holland America there were none. I am a single cruiser in my 60′s and would not have chosen Carnival if I had known. My friend Jodie reads your blog and suggested I write to you.
John Says:
Hello LynnThank you for writing to me about this and while you are correct that some cruise lines do provide Dance Hosts, Carnival for the most part does not. We have, in the past on some of our longer cruises provided this service but for the most part it is not something we have on our regular cruises. I know Holland America excels in this area, however based on our demographics and overall product Dance Hosts are not something I see us adding to our program. I hope though that you did enjoy your cruise and if you saw any other ways that we could improve the experience for a single cruiser like yourself I would be grateful if you would let me know.
Best wishes
JohnLee Whitman Asked:
Please REPLYHi John, we rented a cabana in Roatan based on the great presentation you make here but we didn’t have the best experience and I thought you should know that the presentation is not accurate (I presume it was given to you by someone else). The cabana beach is not private and when we objected to this, we were told that it is semi-private but that people on the rest of the beach are allowed to lounge in “our” area but that what we were renting was the cabana. Why were we given “Private Beach” bracelets if the beach is only semi-private? What does semi-private mean, anyway? It was a really unpleasant day and a fist0-fight broke out between a man who thought he had paid for a private day and a bunch of young guys who didn’t like being made to feel unwelcomed. Also, there are no IPod stations and the people there said they had no idea why I would expect this. I told them about your blog and they just stared at me blankly.
We bought the cabana rental as a hedge against the large crowds and yet whenever we objected to the large number of people on our beach, we were told there are a lot of people on the beach and we should be understanding and share.
John Says:
Hello Lee WhitmanI truly appreciate this information especially as the information I gave you here on the blog seems to be incorrect. I won’t comment on this just yet as I need to do some investigation. However, I will get back to you very soon and advise you and everyone on the correct information. I did indeed post the shore excursion information that we provide our guests and I therefore need to check this with our Shore Excursion Department in Miami before I comment further. I will though certainly apologize that your experience was not as expected and I hope that this did not spoil your overall enjoyment of your cruise vacation. I will be back to you soon.
Best wishes
JohnKevin J Asked:
Hi John, Please reply:Sue and I have cruised 7 times. We are booked on OUR Carnival Dream for Feb.20th We booked it with several couples, many of them first time cruisers. We are getting real excited to meet you as I said before on a previous blog. I do have a question for you though. We booked way back when you first posted that we could book our cruise on the Dream. Is seating in the dining room where you are seated based on early booking? On one cruise we were placed by the kitchen and there was lots of traffic by our table. When we sailed on Glory our table was front and center where all the action and excitement was. That cruise was our greatest ever. I think I did my home work and picked a cabin where it would be close to everything. My wife Susan has back trouble and can’t walk long distant, so I picked cabin 6290. As for a song for a new commercial, I think (I got a feeling) would be perfect. We always make a DVD of our vacations and that is a song we have already chosen for our DREAM vacation. Thank you for all that you do. We certainly hope to have the chance to have a photo taken with you on our biggest and best vacation ever. You’re the best.
KevinJohn Says:
Hello Kevin JThank you for booking to join me here on your Carnival Dream. You will love this ship and I look forward to having fun with you all. I will certainly ask the Maitre D here to help you with your dining request and have provided him with your details. I hope that you have a great time and I love your choice of cruise song because I have a feeling this will be the best vacation ever.
Best wishes
JohnLaura Asked:
John, (Please Reply)I have not yet seen the newest Carnival commercial on the TV, but have checked it out online. I must say that it definitely shows how CCL is considered to be the “FUN ship.” Therefore, I think it is a fantastic new commercial.
I was on a previous Carnival cruise a few years ago where you were our CD. I remember watching the “Bedtime Story” and thought it was absolutely hysterical, and I did not realize it was the same every time. I just watched the YouTube clip of the 2001 performance and was rolling in laughter all over again.
I will be cruising on the Carnival Dream in March 2010, and I must say that I am EXTREMELY looking forward on witnessing this show again since you will be our CD. It is definitely something that you must continue to put on for the audience; I feel you cannot go wrong with this show.
Now I have one question for you…I’m not sure if this was answered on one of your previous blogs, but I was wondering on what night the two formal nights are on the Carnival Dream for the Western Caribbean voyage?
Thanks so much!John Says:
Hello LauraThanks for the great news on your enjoyment of the first of our new TV commercials and I hope you will be watching the Winter Olympics where you will see the next fun for all spot. It seems that even though I should be writing a new skit that the Bedtime Story continues to be an audience favourite and I will be performing it when I see you in March. The two elegant nights are on days 2 and 5, that’s Sunday at sea and Thursday after sailing from Costa Maya.
I will see you soon and please make sure you come and say hello.
Best wishes
JohnSusan V Asked:
Hi John. PLEASE REPLY:I did see the commercial last night on TV during the new Bachelor and enjoyed it but thought that it was actually strange that they were showing a girl watching her Dad have fun but it was narrated by a guy which was very STRANGE! If they had used a young girl (teenager) it would have been much more realistic.
I have to thank you for signing a picture that was taken of you on the Blogger’s cruise for me. I work for Publix and one of my wonderful employees, Vince and his wife went on the bloggers cruise (which I told them all about) and had a wonderful time. He was bragging about you and the Dream making me very jealous that we have to wait until September for our cruise. He surprised me and gave me the mouse pad and wrapped up for Christmas my own John Bobblehead! I was thrilled and thankful.
My buddy Kim Harrison was on there with you and I heard she did a show for the bloggers.
My question is, are you still singing all those nipple songs from her show?
We will be on the Dream in September with all of our friends we met in 2008 on the Valor (20+ of us). Do you know if Todd will be on vacation at that time since it will be almost the 1st anniversary of the Dream? If he is, will you come fill in as CD so I can finally meet you?
I am glad you were able to spend the holidays with your beautiful wife and daughter. I want to thank you for sharing a few pictures with us. I know with all the crazies out there you have to be careful but those of us that are parents love seeing her pics.
Hope 2010 will be a wonderful year for you and your family!
John Says:
Hello SusanThat’s very funny. I am sure that others reading this who were not on the bloggers cruise have no idea about Kim Harrison and her nipple song. I won’t try and explain but hope they get to see our first lady of comedy for themselves because she really is so very funny.
I am glad you liked your bobble head and that reminds me, I need to post a photo in a moment. Anyway, I digress. Your Cruise Director for your Carnival Dream cruise will be my good friend Todd Wittmer and his assistant will be James Dunn and this means you are in for a fabulous and fun time. I am sorry I won’t be here with you.
Thank you for all your kind words and please say hello to Vince and his wife. I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy and please let me know if you need anything else
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today. Slowly…….very slowly……I am getting caught up with the questions marked for my reply. By the way, the total blog views so far is 5,762,099.
Just a quick follow up on a question from yesterday about the copyright of the photos purchased from onboard. A blogger (Sunny Daze) had asked about this and so I asked one of our Vice Presidents and here is his reply:
John
Carnival holds the copyright of all images and we do not release the image rights unless someone wants to reproduce for a book or other similar usage.
“We sell copies of images while you are onboard your cruise and moving forward are considering offering copies in smaller sizes on board”.
Thanks
Bob
I hope that helps and I know that Bob and his department will have lots of news regarding our photo operation this year and I will of course share that news with you all as soon as I get it.
As you know I am a huge fan of our supper clubs or Steakhouses as we know call them. Well now I have found something that I am just a big a fan of as I am the Steakhouse experience. Currently we do this on your Carnival Dream and the Carnival Ecstasy and I am talking about ……………….the Chef’s Table.
This gives our guests a truly up close and personal look at the galley operation, a chance to meet one on one with our Executive Head Chef, enjoy a culinary journey prepared exclusively by him and that is served in the galley during operation.
The night starts off with a champagne reception in the piano bar where along with champagne and hors d’ oeuvres the guests have a chance to meet each other and make new friends. Now this is exclusively presented to just 12 guests and those 12 will then be visited at the reception by the Chef who will explain the menu as well as telling them about the food operation on board.
Then it’s off to the galley which is buzzing as waiters and assistant waiters collect food from the chefs and cooks who are busy preparing food for all the guests on the late sitting dinner.
Guests are then seated at the specially designed table that provides views of the galley in full flow as well as a chance to see the chef and his team preparing the culinary delights that they are about to feast upon. The menu is not only unique but a copy of the menu is given to each guest. It contains their name and the date of their dining and is along with the complimentary photo they receive a wonderful memory of this super experience.
So, what did the guests I met last night enjoy? Well, here is their menu.
Sound marvelous doesn’t it? Yes, there is a charge of $75 but from the comments I heard and the words that I read on the special review card we encourage the guests to complete……..this is an experience worth every single penny……and then some.
I hope that we add the Chef’s Table Experience to other ships in the Carnival fleet. Here are some photos from last night and a photo of the man doing the cooking……Chef Roshan D’souza.
It’s time for me to get with my assistant Craig and finalize the schedules and meet with the department heads. I am so glad Carnival has given me this extra member of staff in Craig because with a staff of 80 and 4,000 guests to look after I couldn’t be a visible CD and continue to blog without him. Craig will carry the CD phone and take care of the department and the numerous e-mails, etc. that flood my computer each and every day. Obviously I still am in charge of the department which means everything that happens is my responsibility but having Craig take care of the day to day bollocks means that I can blog and be on stage and amongst the guests.
Well we were supposed to be in Costa Maya…… today but we are not. This is because of very high winds and swells which the captain decided meant that trying to dock the ship there would have been too dangerous. The pier at Costa Maya is very exposed meaning there is no harbor protection and obviously the safety of the ship and those onboard has to be the top priority. Todd made an announcement at 7:45am letting everyone know and then he and his team began planning additional activities.
Guests only had to look out of their windows to look at the sea conditions to understand why Captain Marino made the decision not to dock there and of course……everyone understands ……………. well………….nearly everyone. The Ocean Plaza is as I have said the heart beat of the ship and while standing there with Craig this morning I overheard a guest having a good old rant at a crew member. He was waving his finger up and down in time suggesting loudly to that Carnival had canceled the port so that we could make more money in the casino.
Now, I wish that this was the first time I had heard this but it isn’t. Over the years weather, technical problems and bad planning (when this ship missed San Juan) have meant that we have missed ports of call. But, to suggest that we do this on purpose……..to create revenue………..is total and utter bollocks.
And as I watched this older man have a good old moan I decided to step in because the crew member he was shouting at………was called…..Rozanna……a bar waitress…….from Belarus.
Why would this man think that she deserved to be spoken to in that manner. OK, he’s upset……. fair one. But go to the Guest Services Desk or find someone in a white uniform …..that’s what they are there for.
Well, I had seen and heard enough and even though I was dressed casually… no ….not just in my underpants……I walked over to the guest and introduced myself as the Senior Cruise Director and thanking Roxanna I invited her to go back to setting up the bar and invited the guest to come and sit with Craig and I.
He did and I would love to say that after the 20 minutes we spent talking he realized that his accusations were nonsense but………..he didn’t. He truly believes that we did this on purpose. After we had finished talking I went to my cabin to get my lap top dancer computer and then ……….. on the way to the conference room to write to you I saw this man again……this time shouting at one of the casino employees who was on his way to work. It’s hard to describe this guest…….. Imagine mating a Parisian waiter and Judge Judy and you get some idea of how unbelievably rude this guest was. I had seen enough and this time I took the guest straight to the Guest Services Desk and asked one of the officers there to document his concerns.
Anyway, it’s a day at sea and the wind has also affected the Carnival Glory who had to cancel her call at Mahogany Bay and go to the old pier at Isla Roatan instead. And I am hearing that the Carnival Miracle had an unfortunate incident when she nudged the pier in St. Kitts this morning. There are no reported injuries but it has left quite a mark I understand on the port side forward of the vessel. I guess its been one of those weeks. I guess it’s been one of those weeks.
On a similar note I wanted to mention again how sorry we were about the Carnival Destiny’s technical problems that gave us no other option but to put the ship into dry dock. Apologies of course go to those whose cruises planned for the week where the ship will be out of service and of course to those guests who were onboard when the problems arose.
I am sure there were many guests who in this case had every right to be disappointed and upset, however, it was wonderful this morning to receive this posting from a blogger who was onboard when this situation occurred. Here is her story.
Miriam
Hi John,
Just back from my daughter’s first cruise! I’m not sure if you remember me but I took you up on the offer to help out those of us with special needs kids and I must thank you! We sailed the Jan. 16 tour to Nassau (aka Western) on the Destiny but had a wonderful time!!!The staff on this ship are to be commended for grace under fire. All, and I mean all, continually greeted my family and I with a smile and a hello. It had to have been very tough on them as it was apparent that some guests weren’t happy but they were smiling! And so was I.
I am not emailing you to talk all of that though but I had to mention their smiles and graciousness The reason I am contacting you is to ask for your help in recognizing some VERY special staffers onboard who helped make my daughter a Princess for a week. They need to named specifically and I’m hoping you can give me a contact or forward this letter on so the management realizes what special people they have onboard this ship. I would also love to contact them myself again, if possible.
First and foremost – Guest services supervisor, Aleksandar K. from Croatia deserves a huge commendation! He greeted as we headed up the gangway to embark and was always available for all of my silly questions. Thank you Aleks, you helped make this cruise very special.
Next – Maitre d’ of the Universe dining room, Vinod! Amazing man who called our room daily to check on what my daughter needed. He made special arrangements with room service to have anything she wanted available and I truly thank him for that.
I wish we had been able to use the dining room more but it was just too loud for my child. The waiter for our table was an absolute sweetheart and teddy bear. I, sadly, cannot remember his name (and I greatly apologize to him for that) but we had table 302 and he was from St. Vincent. Big hugs to him ))
Our room steward Marta who seemed almost upset that she wasn’t able to clean our room as often as she thought she should have!! If anyone knows autism, they will understand how our kids need a safe, quiet ‘home’ and our room became that for my daughter. She did an amazing job of rushing to our room to take care of things when we did get my daughter out and best of all, we always had 3 towel animals, one for each person nightly She was a sweetie!
Youth Director, Alison and her staff – although we never talked my child into using their facilities, they greeted her by name, came to our room to say hello and gave her a Carnival backpack with some goodies inside.
To end, I must say I love this ship. My daughter enjoyed her time on the ‘big boat’ as did I. We just needed a few more days there to really get her out of the room since she announced she finally needed to go swimming after we packed on our last night … no worries though since we did go up to the kiddie pool that night and she had a blast!!! If they hadn’t made us leave the next morning, we would have been a fixture there that day )
Thank you John!
Miriam
Thank you Miriam and I will make sure that all the crew gets to see your kind words of praise. I am glad I was able to help with the arrangements for your daughter and if anyone else needs similar help please let me know.
Tomorrow……..Friday…….I need your permission not to write a blog. It’s a busy day what with the captain’s meeting and then I need to watch the debarkation talk and then have a three-hour handover meeting with Todd. In the old days this would have involved the Cruise Director who was leaving handing over the key to the cabin and saying “see ya.” Now there is paper work …. loads of sodding paper work. I have to sign for every single piece of equipment, check all the inventories and then there is an entire rain forest that has given its life up so that men with beards and high visibility jackets can see that all the ships safety protocols have been passed onto me.
I will be back on Monday of course as we find out whether I can remember how to be funny and how to be a good Cruise Director. I will also share with you the guests’ comments which as always will include the ummmm……..sometimes bizarre.
Well, Heidi has now finalized her dates for sailing with Kye and the tickets are bought. She arrives on February 12th and joins the ship on the 13th and will now sail until the 6th March. She wanted to stay longer but needs to be home to take care of some family stuff with her Mum. I can’t wait to see them both.
I mentioned earlier today about the bobble head. Well, I thought my best mate Alan might appreciate a John Heald bobble head and so a few days before Christmas I gave him one. Sure enough he found a great use for it as you will now see.
Yep, that’s my bobble head on top of his Christmas tree and he told me that if I mentioned again on this blog that he was ugly or suggested that he wears women’s underwear ……….the bobble head would be replaced by my bottom.
See you on Monday
Goodnight
Your friends
John and my Ugly Victoria Secrets lingerie wearing ugly best mate Alan
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Thanks for the information on the Chef’s Table. We are looking forward to that during our 2/27 sailing on the Dream. We had a great time on the Blogger’s cruise last month, and are looking forward to seeing you as CD in just over 4 weeks!
John, I hope you will be able to drop by our Cruise Critic Meet-n-Greet on embarkation day. It will be in the Caliente Disco from 5 to 6 PM!! (See you there
)
Tom
John, the Chef’s Table menu looks brilliant and I’ll be indulging on my upcoming sailing on the Carnival Conquest with the amazing Steve Cassel!! WOOOOHOOOO!! Of course, Stitch will be with me and we’re looking forward to a magnificent cruise.
How fantastic that Heidi and Kye will be on board for so long! I can’t wait to read the updates on the blog!!!
I fear poor Alan has finally gone ’round the bend! A Bobble Head on his tree! At least the tree must have been stout!!!
All the best to Heidi, Kye and the several thousand Stephanies!!!
Ciao!!
Host Mach
That Chef’s Table sounds like a very interesting experience and it’s reasonably price.
Well John, I just have to say you are NOT an ugly man, in fact a lot of women think you are sexy, I guess you don’t remember Valentine’s day about 5 years or so ago, when I wrote you a letter on the Glory which you read during your morning show and I told you that Mike has competition, because I thought and still do, that you are a very handsome man! So, it wasn’t only your humor (spelled correctly) that got you your job on Carnival. I wish I were 45 again! You are too young to feel so old! Lighten up, you have a lot of good years left, and just think you could be walking down the aisle with Kye to give her away in marriage when you are 65! HA! So glad Heidi and Kye will be on the ship with you in a few weeks. I am so sorry that you couldn’t stop at Costa Maya today, it is my favorite port, and I know Bee & Charlie and Paul & Marylou wanted to go there too. I loved Mahogany Bay and can’t wait to go back with the kids, and grandkids on May 29th! Wish you could be our CD on that cruise on the Dream. Can’t wait to see you on Saturday! We all can’t wait! You are the Best CD, so you will do just fine! After 20 years, you don’t have to get back in the swing of things, you are already there! Two more days, can’t wait! Linda & Mike
John,
Thank you for your follow-up regarding our 25th Milestone Cruise…..now I hope after hearing the dream hit the dock today in St. Kitts that our 2/8 cruise is still a go!…please let us know what the status is John?
Thank You,
Mike & Julie Surzyn
Dear John,
Have a great weekend and we will see you Monday.
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
P.S. John you better be careful, and remember the story about Santa Claus.
He was having one of those weeks too!
It was the week before Christmas and all of the elves had been singing “Jingle Bells” for a week straight.
The Reindeer had decided to go on strike for more oats.
Mrs Claus had been on him for being out all night every year and ignoring her on Christmas Eve.
Just when Santa had hit his absolute limit…………… an Angel walked in and asked him where he wanted him to put the Christmas Tree.
The Angel has been on the top of the tree ever since.
Blessings to all and to all a great weekend!
Hey John: love your colourful (spelt correctly) humour (also spelt correctly)
Cheers,
Angela
John, your crying about being 45. Hell Pat and I will be married 44 years tomorrow. So how old do you think that makes us feel?
The Chef’s Table Experience sounds like it would be a real experience.
BIG Ed
Ps, I wish my Loving wife a very Happy Anniversary. I Love You.
Dear John,
You are a great looking guy……I have a “formal picture” standing next to you from the BC3 trip to prove it. I look old, bald & fat, you look GREAT! When I first saw the picture I thought, “Wow, John is photogenic and I’m NOT”……but I bought it anyway
for $21.99!! Your personality, warmth, kindness, gentle nature AND that brilliant sense of humour (spelt correctly) make you a most wonderful man. You have a beautiful wife and precious daughter, you are loved and adored by the jillions of people who have “met” you on the Thingy and in person. Look in the mirror and thank God that you are exactly who you are…….a treasure to your family and your good friends everywhere.
I have told you before, “YOU ARE THE BEST!”
Your old buddy,
Steve O
45 years old……….and you feel like that is old………. HAHAHAHA. John I should be that young. I have a son older than you. When I was your age I had 2 grown children and a grandaughter about the age of your daughter.
I would love to be your age again but only if Don and I could manage to meet 10 years sooner than we did. We would be celerating our 25th anniversary this year instead of our 15th.
You have so much more living life at it’s fullest before you are actually OLD.
Oh how I wish I could see Kye’s reaction to the ship when she boards it the first time. Take pictures……… I wanna see them. That’s what I mean. You have so much living to do enjoying your daughter as she learns about life.
Give her a hug for me when she gets there.
Heidi I hope all goes well with your first airplane flight across the big pond with Kye.
Carolyn
Hi John,
Please Reply,
Please tell me how I can get one of your boggleheads. Is there a place that maybe sells them or if you know of anyone that would like to sell their’s please send my email address to them.
Give my love to Heidi and Kye, and btw, you need to start marking a calendar as to when they arrive, it will make the time go faster.
From your #1 Bloggy Thinggy Fan
Kathy M.
Hi John,
My family and I cruised with you on a very eventful week in August on the Carnival Freedom. It was the week when we were dogging all the hurricanes to make our ports on time. I would have to say, and my family would agree that this was the best cruise we have ever had!
We just booked another Carnival Cruise on the Valor on August 15th of this year. I am hoping and praying that maybe you would will be our cruise director, you were amazing. We all just watched the welcome aboard show which was hilarious even after all these months. We were still laughing at HOLLAND and Dick Little with his wife Anita Little.
Happy birthday and thanks again for the memories. Let me know where you will be or who will be the director for the Valor on that month! I can’t wait for another cruise!!!
Apryl
John,
It’s so good that Heidi and Kye are going to be on the Carnival Dream when we’re on board. Looking forward to seeing Heidi again and meeting Kye.
Hang on John, it’s only two weeks and two days and you’ll be together again.
See you soon.
Linda & George
John–
Please reply, and post if you like.
Back in October, I had written you concerning our March 14, 2010 sailing on the CARNIVAL LEGEND with a few questions and requests. You asked me to write again in February. Since you’re a little swamped these days, I thought I’d write a few days early.
We’re traveling with a group of 10 family members. My wife and my third cruise with Carnival. Our daughter Sophie (taking her first cruise) will turn 4 during the week. First cruise as well for my wife’s parents.
I have four requests, and if you can help with any or all of these, that would be fantastic!!
(1) You had mentioned that you could pre-arrange for the balcony dividers on our three balcony cabins to be opened, so we don’t have to bother the steward with that on embarkation day. Still possible? Very excited to combine all 3 into one big balcony.
(2) Sophie will turn 4 on March 17. Any “little something” you can do for her is greatly appreciated!
(3) We have all requested early seating in the dining room, and of course are hoping to be seated at a single table. I understand that tables for 10 are somewhat scarce. Can you ensure that we have a table for 10? If it’s a table with a view and/or in a nice location, so much the better!
(4) My oldest younger brother (make sense?) Patrick will be celebrating his 32nd birthday on March 16. Anything you can do to surprise him would be great. We’ve already ordered cakes for dinner on both the 16th and 17th from the Bon Voyage department.
Thank you so much, and hope you don’t think me greedy for asking for so much. As I said above, anything you can do — anything at all! — is hugely appreciated.
We are so excited for this cruise. I’ve just looked at the CD schedule and was pleased to see “Wee Jimmy” will be our director. After the stories you’ve told, I’m eager to see him in person!
Happy 2010. I’m sure you’re counting down the days until Heidi and Kye are with you!
Eric
John – Please Reply
We (through a small miracle) were able to book our next cruise for 3/28. We were planning on booking to be on Conquest with you & Sexy Craig, but all of a sudden the 8 Day Miracle Cruise price dropped substantially.
So after booking, we are telling our kids where we are going. Little Emma (4) asks “Freddy will be there right?” – We told her, of course. What about that funny man? – who? She runs to her room and pulls the picture of you from our last cruise photo album – HIM! We tell her no, he’ll be on a different ship. She busts out crying. Our oldest (17) said she was disappointed and that she really enjoyed your humor on the morning show / and on stage. Fortunately Noah (1) doesn’t understand that his future father-in-law won’t be on board
Thank you from the bottom of our heart for all of the smiles you share to your guests, and also to your blog family.
Hi john,
We will see you saturday, You are funny, you will allways be funny. I am not on a cruise to look at how handsome or as you say good looking the cruise director is. I am there to laugh and relax. I could care less how you look. Sounds like the ships had a ruff day today. I hope your friday goes good and you get all caught up.
See ya soon,WOO HOO
Frank and Bridie
Dear John, (Please reply if time permits.)
Thank you for highlighting the Chef’s Table experience! It looks and sounds wonderful! Looking at the menu, however, I see several items that would aggrevate my husband’s and my seafood allergies, which would then require we get some immediate intensive medical care.
So I was wondering if the chef is made aware of guests’ food allergies BEFORE he creates the menu, or if it’s just one of those things where guests seated at the Chef’s Table just need to speak up and ask if some sort of substitution can be made. I have no problem doing the latter, but in some cases, not all ingredients (e.g. – oyster sauce) are listed on the menu, and there is also the possibility of cross-contamination if say, a piece of chicken is grilled in the same spot that an order of shrimp occupied minutes before.
Thanks again,
Laura
John- Huge Kudos to the Head Chef on the Dream. He is absolutely fabulous. In my 31 cruises on 3 different lines this was the first time I had ever seen the chef come out and talk to guests and he was so nice. I did the Fun tour and he was so nice. He really seems to like his job. The chocolate covered strawberries are faboulus!
Lexi
John, great blog. I have to say that I dont understand how people can be that upset on a vacation!!! I mean, really, you are not at work, you ARE on one of the best vacations a person can take and all you can do is lament the things that go wrong. And things ALWAYS go wrong John, isnt that the way of things? You have to adjust and have fun anyway. Well, when I get there in August for our B2B, you dont have to worry. I dont care if every port is cancelled and I lose every deposit for every excursion. I will have fun AND spend more money in the casino and enjoy every extra activity your staff has planned for me and my family. Thank you John and Carnival for being there to give me that opportunity to v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n-!
…I’m just saying….
John the TV/Movie Star. Be ready john is right at the start.
BIG ED
Please Reply:I want to start with that I love your blog and I think that everything you do for the guests is awesome! my cousin has a little boy who has food allergies (allegric to milk, eggs and peanuts) and she was wondering what you all do for someone like that.Thank your for taking the time to blog and answer questions!
Happy Birthday!
After reading the blog almost since the beginning, it is still difficult for me to understand people that are so mean and rude to those who have no control over a situation. Thank you for stepping in to help rescue the crew members from this abuse.
Some first hand knowledge of what the wind blowing the ship into a pier and what damage it can do. Years ago there was a large group of us going on a “mystery cruise” with that mall of the seas line and we planned a couple pre-cruise days in New Orleans. The ship hit the dock in strong winds in Costa Maya while trying to leave and it put a huge hole in the starboard bow. We of course had our cruise shortened by several days and when it finally got to New Orleans the hole was covered and painted over but you could definitely see who huge the gash was and where it was. I stand by any captain that makes a call that it is unsafe to get to a particular port….surely this man knows there are other things to do on the ship besides going to the casino.
I will be thinking of Heidi and hope she and Kye have a safe and uneventful trip.
Hi John~
I’ll be on the March 20th sailing of the Carnival Dream. How does one get reservations to the Chef’s Table??
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO BIG ED AND PAT
i didn’t mind missing costa maya at all, at least we got to go to the wonderful mahogney bay! we loved that stop!
it has been a wonderful cruise john…
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
John,
Thank you very much for the information regarding the Chef`s table. How do we book a seating for (2) to this wonderful opportunity. We are on the 2/20/10 sailing of the Dream and look forward to meeting you. After just missing you by one day on the Splendor and two days on the Freedom I am hopeful you will not be able to avoid us any longer. I am also glad I did not see the Larry King interview. I prefer to keep my fabulous memories of John Cleese and his past glories as they are.
Here`s hoping to see you soon!
Gary
Hi John (Please Respond)
I’ve only been reading your blog for a couple of months but I find I can’t go a day without reading it. I find it to be entertaining and often burst out laughing (something that a librarian shouldn’t do in the library). In 105 days (May 15th on the Dream) I set sail on my 9th cruise and would be very much interested in the Behind the Fun Tours. I have a rather silly question to ask. Is there some sort of break during the four hours of the tour? If not, and I find I can’t do the tour is there some other way for me to get a picture with the Captain? (I would also want a picture with Todd.) Usually I can’t get a good picture from the seats in the lounge at the Captain’s Meet & Greet and would like to have some decent pictures this time around for my scrapbook. The only decent picture I ever have of a cruise director is with Wee Jimmy last year on my 40th birthday. There is nothing like a cute Scottish guy wearing a kilt to help a woman to overcome their shyness. (I also adore his accent.)
And another thing…I wish Carnival would do cruises around the U.K. I would love to combine my two favorite things into one trip. I promised my nephew I would take him abroad for his Bar Mitzvah present but that means giving up on cruising for the next two years…sigh!
Rachel
John,
Please Reply.
Thank You for your reply a few weeks back in regards to how the auto-tips work when utilizing Anytime dining. Some rumors had surfaced on CruiseCritic that when you do not go to the dining room the tip ends up in Carnivals pocket, not the staff. After your response I was pleased to post to CORRECT information. The service provided by ALL Carnival staff is always top notch and I can not imagine reducing your auto-tip because you have elected not to go to the dining room one or two nights. The staff counts on these tips and should not be penalized (my opinion of course). We always end up tipping extra because of the superior service we always seem to receive. The nicest restaurant in my local area can not begin to compare with Carnival’s service.
Now on to the other reason I am writing this time around. As I have previously told you I will be travelling with my 7 year son on the Carnival Pride 2/14. This is his first cruise. He always looks forward to me sharing the “kid appropriate” sections of your blog and especially looks forward to the videos. To him, you and Carnival are one and the same. I was wondering if you may be able to send him a little welcome message for when we sail. He would absolutely treasure this !
My best to yourself, Heidi, and Kye. I know you are told on a regular basis, but I must reiterate how many smiles you bring to so many via this blog. I truly look forward to reading every day. We just booked 6 cabins for another sailing on the Carnival Legend in August — they wanted to go on the MallofTheSeas, but after some prodding they came to their senses !!
Thanks so much.
Eric
Hi John,
My husband and I have just booked our next cruise with Carnival Dream on Feb 20. This will be our 3rd cruise with Carnival and we are really excited to see the Dream in person! Your blog is a riot and I LOVE reading it
It definitely swung my vote towards taking another Carnival cruise vs going on another Royal Caribbean cruise 
I have a question regarding Spa services….I am pregnant with our 4th child and was wondering if the Spa offered services such as pregnancies massages…if you could answer this for me that would be great!
We’re really looking forward to spending some time relaxing and having fun before the arrival of our next child! I’m especially excited to have learned from your blog that the casino is partially non smoking as I usually don’t go with my husband due to the heavy smoke in most casinos. I’m also looking forward to spending some time reading and relaxing in the adults only area, Serenity, it looks absolutely lovely from the pictures I’ve seen on line.
We look forward to meeting you and to having a lot of fun on the cruise!
Thanks!
JOHN! IF YOU THINK 45 IS OLD TRY TURNING 60! WHEN YOU LOOK AND FEEL LIKE 40! I DI NOT HANDLE 50 WELL AT ALL!! AND THIS JUNE WILL TURN 60!-DEPRESSION TIME! I KNOW ITS JUST A NUMBER BUT ALL I CAN THINK OF IS–I ONLY HAVE 20-25 MORE YEARS LEFT??? DEPRESSING! JUST REMEMBER-IT COULD BE WORSE!!!!
Happy Birthday John! This blog post is for you:
http://www.expertcruiser.com/blog/cruise-directors-movie-star-past-comes-back-to-haunt-him/
Fondly,
Anita
Happy to here that your girls will get to be with you for a couple weeks. I hope we get to see them as we sail the 13th with you.
Hi John!
Enjoy the long weekend and good luck making the transition back into the CD chair.
I hope that the weather has improved for you and not disrupted the voyage any further.
Love all the pictures posted.
Take care!
David
So handsome John introducing Mary Kate and Ashley on the cruise ship when they did their movie. I actually searched out that movie on ebay and bought it just so I could see what you looked like back then. Handsome is all I can!!! You still have it too John!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO! HOO! See you tomorrow! Linda & Mike
Hi, John! You are so crazy!
You don’t need our permission to skip today’s blog ,Fri., 1/29… For heaven’s sake! With the trillion things you do for all of us & it’s really unbelievable the things that some people unload on you knowing very well that there are other people in charge of those things, & your regular CD duties…you’re more than justified to skip the blog whenever urgent duties require your attention.
How lucky are the guests boarding the Dream tomorrow that they’ll have you as their CD! The past guests/bloggers that already know you will be elated, and the ones that have never met you, they are in for such a treat! They are getting the best CD in the industry! We have been on a lot of cruises of different companies (in recent years & even 20 & 30 yrs. ago), and no CD has been as wondeful as you are. You were born for the job! Maybe you won’t be too happy to hear that! Ho, Ho, Ho! We are kidding! There are many good CD’s, but there are many that barely do they job… they are there but that’s that! They don’t go the extra mile!
As we told you before, we are booked on the Grand Princess & on a late March we’ll be in Vegas for 12 days visiting our son & other relatives, but the year is young & we certainly are going to try our best to sail with you again this year.
Kisses to Kye & warmest regards to you and Heidi.
The Santanas of Miami Beach
John,
Is there any way that you will be the Cruise Director on the Carnival Spirit July 27, 2010. The CD list only goes through June.
Thanks,
Diane
Hello again John,
If I can, i would like to make a suggestion that may help you to get caught up on your mail.
If i may be so bold as to suggest that you take 2/3/4 days on the blog and dedicate them to just doing letters, maybe throw in some of your comical rants and guest comments.
any way speaking simply for Cindy and I we really enjoy reading the letters that you get.
In any case, hope all is well for you and the crew of the Carnival Dream.
See you soon.
Cindy n Bill
Please reply.
I was on the Carnival Dream Transatlantic. It was wonderful. I look forward to the Carnival Magic Transatlantic.
When does Carnival plan to announce the date and open it for bookings? Or will the ship stay in Europe?
One disappointment while on the Dream cruise (which I hope I dont’ experience while on the Magic ) was the gift shop. I don’t understand the buyers for the ships stores. While we were on that cruise, they were putting out Caribbean Tshirts. I know they were for the cruises out of NY, but why put them out so soon? We had no reason to buy one. And the shirts for the Transatlantic cruise were not very good at all.
We find this on every cruise we take. Everyone wants cruise shirts, but they could be a lot nicer and better designs and selections than was is given.
There is great room for improvement in the stores merchandise.
thanks
janet
Hello John,
You are not old at all. You are young at “Heart”!
John you make people laugh and smile a lot joking around! Stay Young and Funny!
Hi John. (PLEASE REPLY)
Thanks for keeping me laughing. We are looking at Carnival for my son’s HS graduation cruise, but I am worried about the Carnival smoking policy. I know this is a touchy subject, so I didn’t want to post my question on Cruise Critic.
I am very sensitive to smoke and I am worried about finding evening activities where the smoke won’t bother me. I read your response to the Casino question, but I was wondering if there are any discussions about making some the night dance or music places non-smoking?
Thanks for your enjoyable blog.
Hi John,
Thank you so much for including my letter today! I really appreciate you forwarding it on to the appropriate people as well (and to each of the people I mentioned by name!).
The Destiny is a fabulous ship with a superb staff. I really hope I get the opportunity to sail her again … and that I also get the opportunity to meet all of the folks I mentioned as well at some point.
Bravo Carnival!
Miriam
Hi John,
We just got back from a Triumphant cruise! and we had a great time.
Jorge played the Saints game on lido and in the Rome lounge….with sound!!….WooHoo!
Don’t forget to pull for our Saints on Superbowl Sunday….we told you on the Dream BC3 that this was our year!
Oh, and don’t fret about rude people…they are not worth it!
Love reading your blog. I also love watching cruise ship webcams online (wish they would refresh faster) and noticed something that seems like a waste of money. The onboard screens run 24/7, even when ship is in between the departing crowd and arrival. Seems like it would save Carnival money if they would turn it off in middle of night while decks are being cleaned and when no one is on board. Just a quick money saver idea
Hi John
We will be on the Dream Feb 6th and are very excited. My son will be celebrating his 14th birthday. What night will the Captain’s dinner be that week we thought of doing the Steakhouse of his birthday. Also was wondering if there will be any Super Bowl parties on Super Sunday. Thanks and look forward to the cruise in a week!
Dear Mr. Heald,
Please reply,
I have been reading your blog for about 7 months now and I enjoy looking forward to reading it every afternoon as soon as it is posted.
I just got off the Carnival Splendor and I would like to send a letter to Corporate about one room steward that went above and beyond when it came to her job. The young lady’s name is Atthaya, I did not get her last name, but she did tell me she was from the Phillipines. On the first day when I met her she asked me if I was traveling alone and I said “yes”, well no one had ever asked me that in the 12 previous cruises, so I just thought that maybe this was her way of figuring how long it would take her to do my room. That was not the reason at all, so let me explain. On the 1st full sea day, I was fine, the 2nd full sea day, I was feeling like I was coming down with something so I stayed in my room, just in case I was I would not be giving anything to other passengers. So I put the “Snoozin” sign on the door and locked it. Well around 8:30pm my phone rang, but the person had the wrong room, well this happened two or three more times, so after that I did not even bother to answer the phone. Then at 9:45pm there is a knock at my door and it is some Officer asking me if I was all right and I said “Yes”, and that is when he explained to me that my room steward was very concerned because I had not left my room all day and she did not see me. He told me that he had tried calling me on the phone but there no answer and that is why he was now at my door checking up on me. The next morning I thanked Atthaya for being concerned about me and that I really appreciated it. John, it made me feel really secure in knowing that if something did happen to me, I would not be in that room for 6 days before someone realized something was wrong. Well it happened again on Saturday, with the ship rocking n rolling, and since I had already fallen twice, I decided to stay in my room on Saturday instead of trying to walk to the back of the ship to eat. Well on Saturday evening around 10:30pm my phone rang and I answered it, it was someone asking if I was ok and letting me know that someone would be coming to my room to check on me. 20 minutes later, two Officer’s ( a man and a woman) came to check to make sure I was ok and asked if I needed anything. I explained that with the ships movement I could not walk to the back of the ship without falling so I just stayed in my room.
I have cruised on Carnival 12 times and this was the first time that a room steward showed this kind of concern and I just want her to know how much I appreciated it.
There is another place where the crew goes above and beyond and that is in the buffet area. The minute that any of them would see me come in, one of them was right there to assist me with my plate or getting me anything that I wanted. They would carry the tray to any place that I wanted to go, even if it was back out by the pool, and one thing that amazed me was they remembered my name, out of the thousands that at in the buffet, these waiters would remember me
If you could send me the address of where I could send this letter to, I would greatly appreciate it. This young lady needs to be recongized for her extra concerns she has for single handicapped passengers and the person who runs the buffet area should also be told of the wonderful way handicapped people are treated by his staff.
BTW, this is just a suggestion, could you please pass it on to the ship designers not to put the handicapped rooms at the front of the ship. Those of us with mobility issues makes it a challenge to have to walk the length of the ship to get to the buffet area to eat. It would take me almost 30 minutes to go from my room to the buffet area. I would walk so far and then have to sit down for awhile, then walk another distance and I had to keep doing this until I got to the buffet area..
John, I have to say that this crew on the Splendor made me feel so special, that I have already booked another cruise on the Carnival Splendor, but this time my room in going to be in the middle part of the ship near an elevator.
Best Wishes,
Catherine
John 45 is not old. You are only as old as you feel. I am too a Young 45 year old. I will be sailing on the Feb. 13 2010 on the Dream with you. Hope you can hook a girl up with some fun. This is going to be my Graduation cruise ( i just finished my degree in teaching, after 14 years of working on it) and I am ready to have some fun. As for looking like Johnny Depp that is the last person i would want to look like. I do not find him good looking. Gray does a man good. See you in about 13 days.
I love this blog today John and I am not surprised that some stupid fool decided that the Captain knows nothing and you could have gone into port but making money in the casino was more important. You truly can not fix stupid.
I had a conversation with Steve on the Ecstasy and I was telling him how much I enjoyed his fiddle and juggling acts. We started talking about you and I said that even though you can not sing, can not dance, juggle or play an instrument, you are truly a genius when it comes making people laugh. Carnival did not make you SENIOR Cruise Director for any other reason but you are sooooo funny. Keep doing what you are doing. I can not wait to see you once again on the Carnival Magic in September 2011.
Keep smiling John, you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
Hi John,
We sailed with you on Carnival Destiny and Carnival Liberty and we’re glad to hear we will be sailing with you starting Feb. 6 on the Carnival Dream. We are still laughing about the two “Bedtime Story” shows we have seen. In one of the shows, “Mary” was so excited she knocked you to the floor. Boy, that was unexpected and we all hoped you were OK. My question to you is: Will the Super Bowl be put thru to the stateroom TV’s? Thanks and looking forward to seeing you again soon.
George
Hi John,
Please reply,
I was amazed when I looked your room number up to find that they only gave you a small inside room, I hope that is not the room you will have the whole time you are assigned to that ship. In that room (the inside) you really don’t even have enough room to sit and do your blog (in your underpants)or anything else for that matter. I really do hope that when Heidi and Kye join you that you will get a larger (I will pray for a suite since you have earned it) cabin for the 3 of you.
Give my love to Heidi and Kye.
From your #1 Bloggy Thinggy Fan,
Kathy M.
PLEASE REPLY
Hey John,
Doubt you remember me but my family and I cruised with you on Carnival freedom last summer in July and I corresponded with you several times on your blog after we returned! You made it a vacation to remember and because of you and the GREAT fun we had we have booked the Carnival Dream to Virgin islands on July 17th. My daughter is graduating in May from college with an Early Education degree and we will be celebrating her graduation !! Im not sure who the Cruise Director will be(but we have our fingers crossed thats its YOU!) but I was trying to figure out some way we could recognize her and thought you might have an idea? Please let me know what I need to do and if you could tell me who cruise director will be I would really appreciate it!!! Thanks again for making our Freedom Cruise one to remember and cant wait for the Carnival dream!
John please reply.
Hi John, as usual I love the blog and continue to read on a daily basis!
I am hoping to possibly ask for you help again. I was on the second sailing of the Dream out of Rome and was in the “aft” wrap cabin that was not a wrap . You had kindly said that my complaint would be forwarded to the correct person and well I have still heard nothing. This after sending my own email one month later and a snail mail letter. I shall copy here your original response and would so appreciate if it could be directed to someone other than your overworked self. I have even called and was told to wait for a responce! We are getting ready to look for another sailing in May but I would really like some closure to the problems with the last one..( Again CRUISE itself was awesome, but if I had know my cabin had no wrap I would have just taken a reg balcony cabin)
thanks so much
Mel
here is the original info
Mel Asked:
John or Stephanie please reply,
Hello John and I must say I missed your blog for the past three weeks, but I was in Italy and onboard the Gorgeous Carnival Dream Oct 3rd sailing. What a ship and what a voyage. The ports of call were amazing and I have to say it ranks as my number 1 trip thus far! Please tell all the bigwigs to put a ship back in Europe! Also it was my first encounter with Ken in the dining room, this man is AMAZING and I will certainly be looking to find another voyage that he is on!
I am actually looking for some assistance or direction to follow. We were disappointed with our cabin 8466 and I have returned to see it was definitely a ship building error. I called the pursers desk whilst onboard and they all came for a tour of our cabin. They followed procedure and contacted Miami who gave us a 200 pp obc stating this was the cost difference between our 9a and the extended balconies (when we booked the ext aft balconies were Cat 8b and not 8G as they are now).I disagree but I know the pursers desks hands were tied. We were booked on the Freedom and then the Liberty which were cancelled and then to the Dream. I know for a fact our cost difference was approx 1000 for both of us as we had a discussion as to whether we wanted to spend the addition money and I worked extra to spring for it! Our friends on the 6th and 7th decks had the aft balconies and I know for sure the cost diff was 800.oo. I had said we would be happy with a future cruise credit for the difference. We paid 5000 for the cruise and though I do understand sometimes mistakes happen I would expect my credit to on par with the cost difference for when I booked. I would have changed my choice of cabin at time of booking if I had known I was not getting an aft wrap. (btw friends had a cove balcony and they are LOVELY).
Who should I address this with or is there someone you could get this too? Also the cabin does not have a sofa in it as I was told when changing from the cancelled Liberty sailing.
Thanks John and I do want to emphasize that we still think this was our best Carnival cruise yet!
John Says:
Hello Mel
I want you to know that I just forwarded your comments to our Senior Vice President Roberta Jacoby and the shipboard staff. I know having done 11 new deliveries I that bringing out a new ship is never easy. No matter how much you prepare and plan there are always going to be times when you say “bugger, I didn’t think of that.” So, your positive words will mean so much to the Captain and crew.
It has been well documented here on the blog thingy that we did indeed make a mistake when building cabin 8466. I know by now you will have read that the partitions have been removed. However, obviously this was not done in time for your voyage. Please let me apologize for this and I will make sure that your comments are sent to one of our vice presidents for her immediate attention. Please leave this with me and I promise someone will be in touch shortly.
If you need anything else I remain at your service.
Best wishes
John
November 4th blog
Hi John, I need your help. An e-mail response will be fine. This is my first time writing you and I hope it gets to the right place. We have a cruise booked for May 1 on the Dream. My 17th with Carnival. This is going to be kinda like a reunion for some of us. A lot of us sailing on this cruise met on the Glory last year and another couple we met on the Legend in ’08. I need your help with this one. There are 16 of us linked for dinner, late seating and I would love for us to get two round tables close together so we can all enjoy each other. Since I don’t know how to set this up I’m hoping you can get this arranged for us. I will be more than happy to send you my information if you will tell me where to send it.
Thanks John, I love your blog.
Sandra
Hi John,
We recently traveled on the Carnival Dream. We really enjoyed the ship but had one question. Why is the big screen TV by the pool barely used during the day? We thought this would be great for having family friendly movies or music playing while sitting by the pool, but a majority of the time there is a picture of a beach and a note not to save seats. It seems like such a waste. Thanks, Bruce
Hello John
Well we’ve just returned from the Valor and we had a great time. You were right that Tex would be a great CD because he really made us laugh. He must have learned from the best right….. (you).
All in all it was a great time. The family get together was fantastic and we celebrated both Harold’s birthday and the renewal of the vows whilst on board. We missed Mahogany Bay because it was too windy to go to the new pier but at least we still got to tie up at the old one and saw Roatan. We’d definitely go back for sure.
We tried to get into the “behind the scenes tour” but were unsuccessful so next time we’ll do it early. They organized a Galley tour however it was a disappointment because all we did was go through from one dining room to the other with no explanation of what happens in the galley etc. I guess going on that tour we thought they would give some explanations and show us what happens in the galleys. Maybe they could try and do the tour in smaller groups thereby being able to field any questions guests might have.
I wanted to let you know that our dining room staff in the Lincoln room was really exceptional. Nimesh was the chief head waiter and his assistant Pornamam looked out for our every need. Alexandra, the hostess, came every night to our table and reviewed the next day’s menu with my daughter since she has an allergy to Garlic. I cannot tell you how outstanding their service was.
Now to some wonderful news! We’re booked on the Magic for May 22, 2011 for the 12 day cruise leaving Barcelona, Yeepee I’m so excited about it, especially since you will be the CD on it. Hopefully Ken will be the Maitre D and that way our holiday will be complete. Looking forward to seeing you again next year unless I can swing another cruise over the next 12 months!!! You should find a port close to Toronto and save us Canadians the airfares to Florida, that way we can cruise more. I’m so very glad that Carnival has decided to return to Europe, this is just fantastic!
Well John thank you so much for everything you did to make our holiday memorable. Give our regards to Heidi and Kye. Keep the blogs coming.
Eva
John (Please respond!!!),
Great Blog! Just a quick question. In December 11th’s and December 17th’s Blog you stated you would be the Cruise Director on the 3/20/2010 Dream Western Caribbean cruise. The cruise director schedule shows Todd coming back on the 20th. Could you please clarify wether or not you will be Cruise Director. I really hope you are!
Thanks!
Thomas
Hello John!
I just returned from the best week of my life on the Carnival Dream 23rd-30th. I sound like a total broken record telling literally everyone I see that the Dream is not only the most beautiful ships I have ever seen, but one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen in my entire life. I am such a fan. This may become my cruise home for the rest of my Carnival cruise life.
I was very happy to see you on the boat, I wasnt sure if you would be there. I knew you wouldnt be the CD, but I was happy to see you there and on the morning show, etc. I saw you as soon as we boarded I had that ridiculous coach duffel that I always overload and stuggle to carry while I am waiting on the cabins to open, lol. Poor packing skills I am afraid combined with poor choice in luggage
.
I had just remarked to a friend the night before the Costa Maya incident that I wouldnt mind to have an additional day at sea and not even have to go to Costa Maya. I didnt mind Todd’s announcement one bit! I feel like safety should be your number one concern and a wonderful decision was made that day.
I ate in the stakehouse twice; two of the best meals of my life. I went with a group of five the first time and out of the group myself and one other are graduated Chefs from Johnson and Wales. We were very very pleased (I so much that I went back a second time by myself just so I could devote my every sense to the experience).
From a theatrical standpoint, Dancing in the Street is a MASTERPIECE. Our group had such a blast and were absolutely blown away by the musical and dancing talent. We had been on a cruise in October on the imagination and were happy with the singing/dancing talent. This time … we were Floored. In our very diverse group of five, two of us are also heavily studied in music, and we were very very impressed.
The last day I called to my Carnival Vacation Planner, Ingrid (adore her!!!!) to see about extending my vacation. Unfortunately she was not in, but I thought I would just book another cruise out of our beautiful hometown of Charleston as soon as those begin to sail. I am so happy I decided to do that, I think after 14 days on the Dream I would have to move in permanently.
Keep up the good work John and dont let any negative talk get you down. Remember for every negative comment there is someone out there like me just bursting to tell everyone all of the good things about my cruise!
Hi John,
(Please reply)
I believe you had mentioned that you were going to ask Captain Cutugno to write a blog while the Glory is in dry dock.
What’s the status of this?
Thanks.
John (please reply),
Donna and I will be leaving on the Carnival Splendor on Valentine’s Day, February 14th. This is to celebrate our 31st anniversary. We celebrated our 30th on the Carnival Legend last February. We had a blast with Jenn.
I am writing to let you know that we tried Carnival because of your Blog and are hooked. Last summer we visited with old friends from high school and began talking about cruising. They are veterans of many RCI cruises but had also just returned from their first Carnival Cruise. The had the exact same reaction that we did — FUN! We booked this trip on the Splendor with them back in the fall and it is finally here. There is one other thing you should know. They are from Gilroy, California the “Garlic Capital of the World” but I can assure you they are not French. And – it seems they told a friend who told a friend and I think half of the city of Gilroy is booked on the Splendor for this cruise. I think they are all tied to my reservation so I’m not sure how all of the dinner seating will work out…but I’m sure it will.
We are so looking forward to this cruise and want to thank you again for the Blog that brightens each day and for enticing us to try Carnival.
All the best,
Bob and Donna (CA)
Dearest John,
Visited your blog today as I needed a chuckle…and you always deliver! You are brilliant, and handsome, and the packaging…well, we all are what we are….and it in no way detracts from your charisma!!
By the way, my guess is you have always been “old before your time” and that’s why you achieve success with relating to guests of all ages. My theory is you will probably be looking at no new physical discoveries, and very minor changes, during the next 5 years…and dare I say it, become even more dashing! On the other hand, trust me… this is from personal experience, it will take us females of the same age (or ever so slightly older…ha!) an incredible amount of time to convince ourselves at 50, that we could really pass for 45!
Belated birthday wishes and decades more of them!
Your friend,
Karen
PS> Always love your recognition for the US Coast Guard! Thanks.
John,
My Dad (Poppy) was 80 years young in June and has a great motto “It’s just a number”… He is about to sail his 23rd Carnival Ship in March and just keeps on going…
Besides, 45 is the new 30!!!
Hi John, respond if you want to.
Just off my beautiful Carnival Splendor and wanted to share some thoughts. Gab (maiter’d) is the bomb, very good! He told me that you are going to start dancing on the table like him, I can’t wait to see that! George is a hidden gem, he needs to be a cd, soon, I can’t put a finger on what it is, but he has IT. We also did the behind the fun tour, very interesting. It would be nice if Carnival could figure out how to get all the pictures taken onto your inroom TV, I think you would sell more pictures this way, even though I’m sure organizing it would be very difficult. I can’t beleive how much better your shows are than celebrity, your shows are second to none, period. I feel sorry for the performers on celeb. I would say the same thing about the food, way more variety on Carnival. My only suggestion would to start breakfast earlier than 7:30 on Monday and Saturday, the whole ship shows up when it opens, which makes big lines, lines make people cranky. Overall, I would say your claim to the best value in vactions is right on track, keep up the good work! Now if you could help me get my land legs back that would be awesome!
John (Please reply if possible),
My husband will be celebrating his birthday on the 6/14/10 sailing of the Glory to Canada. And as I am struggling with what to get him, I thought he might enjoy the Behind the Fun Tour – he has been dying to see the bridge and engine room ever since we started cruising with you all in 2007. Is it true that the only way I can make reservations for this tour is to be early to the Excursion Desk at Embarkation? We are not yet Platinum and I worry about it being sold out.
I appreciate your help. And thank your for this blog – while I cannot cruise as often as I like, your blogging keeps me feeling connected, and is always good for a laugh.
Amy James
Why has my comment (1/30/10) not been posted? I see that others after mine was sent are here?
Rachel
RACHEL
If you marked it ” JOHN PLEASE REPLY” it goes to him to get a reply and does not get put here till he replies.
BIG ED
Thank You BIG ED,I enjoy your comments on the blog.I was on the first bloggers cruise and have been following ever since..Peace
Thanks Big Ed…one of the many Stephanies told me that also.
Rachel
John:
What a wonderful note from Miriam. So glad that she and her family had a great time.
Carnival has worked so hard over the years to make sure that DJ has the best cruise possible…I knew they would come through for her as well.
Btw, we know you are sexy…..you sang it yourself on the Blogger’s Cruise remember….and to Peter the Hair…where are those videos????? LOL
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Yes Linda… I was wondering where that video was as well. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to watch it and relive the experience… once was enough!!
Glad to see you posting again!
Tom
Hello John,
I must say The Carnival Dream is fantastic. Its by far the best ship i’ve been on. Keep up the good work!
I absoutely can’t wait for feb 17 cruise on the carnival liberty. i am planning on having so much fun and meeting interesting people!