Do you remember the chap I was talking about the other day that wanted quicker service in the dining room? Well, he has been on mind these last two days and has by the way had service that has him in and out of dinner within an hour, thanks to the dining room team.
My mind turned to him because I was working in the office to the accompaniment to one of those entertainment gossip shows on TV and who should come up but my old friend Angelina Jolie.
It seems that she doesn’t like to be kept waiting either.
The show alleged that she and Brad Pitt, used invitro-fertilization to conceive her twins……. not because she needed to….. but because she didn’t have the patience to get knocked up in the normal, rumpy pumpy grunty grunt way. She chose the procedure said the show because, like my friend who wanted his free steak in the dining room within 20 minutes of being there….. She wanted more children……. More quickly so she and Brad wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to get pregnant.
You see, that’s what I mean. We live in a world where we want something and we want it now. We demand instant gratification and it is so normal that people now require an immediate, rumpy pumpy-free fetus in the same way that they might open a microwaveable dinner to save the time it takes to cook on a stove.
I must also mention that if Brad Pit thinks it’s a chore to have rumpy pumpy with Angelina …… then he needs a swift kick in the bollocks. I am sure that there are lady bloggers (and possibly some male ones as well) who will think the same thoughts about having rumpy pumpy with Mr. Pitt!
Yep, this along with my dining room friend are perfect examples of how we all live constant fast forward lives, huffing and puffing and moaning if we have to stand in line at the Mongolian Wok thingy, lipo-sucking because we’re too impatient to diet, anything to save time, time, time. Nothing ……. literally bugger all…….. Happens quickly enough for us anymore.
Who has not mentally machine gunned a slow retired pensioner at the wheel of a 1985 Cadillac on I-95?
I found myself screaming at the computer today “come on, come ON” because the internet on the ship took forever to open my blog page so I could read your comments and I often dream of tasering people who are always ahead of me in the line at my bank and want to deposit $10,000 ……….in quarters…………obviously we don’t have quarters in the UK but I have forgotten where the damn pound sterling symbol is again……bugger.
I for one have to start giving myself more personal time and slowing down. For example, when I find myself compulsively checking my e-mail inbox when I wake up for a piss at 3 am. Or when I sit in my cabin starring at the ghost white screen of my Raspberry oblivious to the beautiful Caribbean sunset on the starboard side.
Some of you (myself included) are accustomed to phoning friends and quickly realizing they are writing e-mails throughout the conversation. Tonight I was on the phone with the Groups Coordinator Debbie who was trying to discuss the complexities of changing our elegant night next cruise because of the World Series Bowl Final thingy.
During the conversation I made vague sounds of feigned interest such as “mmm, mmm, sounds great” when she could have just told me that we had a group of 500 Nuns who wanted a private lounge to watch the game in while consuming buckets of Budweiser. That’s because throughout the conversation I was e-mailing a friend of mine who was eating at a posh London restaurant and happened to be seated next to Jerry Hall. He was e-mailing me that he kept dropping his napkin because when he bent down to pick it up he saw something that must have given Mick Jagger a lot of satisfaction ……. which was much more interesting than talking about a group function here on my Carnival Dream.
And we are passing this hurry up attitude on to our teenagers who panics if they don’t read a text the moment it goes beep even though it probably only says “Gr8! lol x”.
Yep, we want it now, we want it yesterday and we want it quicker tomorrow. As for Angelina and Brad…….well…..they are just two lazy bastards. Heidi and I were trying for five years ………. every Thursday.
Time for today’s questions……….off we go.
Margie M Asked:
John please replyHi John- We will be boarding the Carnival Dream for our first Carnival cruise on April 3. I did not realize at the time we booked that the next day is Easter. Is there a way to find out if any religious services will be held on board?
Sorry you are feeling poorly, best wishes for a speedy recovery.
John Says:
Hello Maggie MI am sure that you are starting to get excited about your Carnival Dream cruise in April. I have been writing over the past few months about how we need to do better in providing religious services onboard our ships during important days in the Christian and Jewish calendars and obviously Easter is arguably one of the most important of them all. I have requested that a Priest be available here on your Carnival Dream and on as many ships as we can find someone to hold the services. I will be writing more about this as soon as I have the information.
Thanks for all the kind words and best wishes to all.
JohnCindy Wagner Asked:
Hi John, (Please Reply)Sorry about the minor accident. I can relate with the stick shift issues. I found having an automatic makes my life so much easier.
As for clothing options for a CD I think they should be allowed to wear what they want. You want them to be approachable and comfortable. If they are in uniform people won’t feel comfortable approaching them. And if the bad comments are just about their clothes I would ignore them, that means someone just wanted to write a bad comment and that is all that they could think comment about.
Let Heidi know that as a mother/parent we tend to over pack for our kids and they don’t wear half the stuff that we bring. I ended up bringing half the stuff back that my youngest never wore. If she does want to bring a lot the suggestion of having it shipped is a good idea and she can send as much stuff as she wants.
I mentioned a while back that my oldest daughter is going to celebrate her birthday on the Carnival Dream. I have ordered a cake for her birthday that should arrive on our last night. How will I know if they are going to sing Happy Birthday to her? Do they do that automatically when someone orders a birthday cake?
My cruise is getting closer. We will be boarding the Carnival Dream in 30 days. I can’t wait.
My best to you, Heidi and Kye.John Says:
Hello Cindy WagnerI still feel such and idiot about my car crash. Driving is a favourite pastime of mine and to do what I did was really stupid. Anyway, thanks for the kind words of support. Heidi is being very strict about what she is bringing on the ship for Kye. As you may have read I will be off to Wal-Mart on Saturday with my shopping list of nipple pads and diapers. Please drop me a note when you board at the Guest Relations Desk and I will check on the cake delivery and make sure the staff are ready to sing “Happy Birthday” for her. I will of course have a little something sent to the cabin as well.
Thanks again for the kind words and see you all soon
Best wishes to all
JohnJAS1178 Asked:
John – PLEASE READ (Reply if you like)Passing this along from one parent to another. We had a long flight with our daughter when she was an infant, and had a very rough time of it. The flight attendant provided some cups to try to help reverse the pressure on the baby’s ears, but she was still screaming “doing Ozzy Osborne impression.”
Long story short, before we went on our return LONG flight home, we were given some advice which we checked with our pediatrician, and he agreed. First, we give Emma infant Benadryl about 30-40 minutes before takeoff (this put her to sleep). We then carefully placed “Children’s Ear Planes” (Found in most drug stores and online) in her ears. (Actually, we put the adult one’s in our ears.) The return flight home was peaceful, and not stressful on Mom or Baby. These plugs actually equalize the pressure and really help.
In the future, we tried just the Ear Planes on our infant, without the Benedryl, but found Baby didn’t want to leave the plugs alone. By being asleep/drowsy, when they woke up, she didn’t seem to mess with them.
Since then we’ve taken Emma & Noah cross country and wouldn’t consider traveling without them. (Tried some of the “off brand” ones…but didn’t work NEAR as well)
For my blogger friends (and you John). Be sure to check with your doctor before doing either.John Says:
Hello Jas1178I am dreading Kye’s first trans-Atlantic flight and feel such a bad person for not being with her and Heidi to support her through what will no doubt be a challenging 9 hours. I will definitely pass on the bit about the plugs to Heidi and I know she will find this very useful indeed. Thanks so much for your kind support and I will give you all a full report once they arrive in Florida.
Best wishes to you and the family.
JohnTodd Asked:
Please ReplyMy parents will be on their 11th Carnival cruise and the rest of our traveling party will be on our 4th. They tell us that you are the best Cruise Director in the fleet as they have cruised with you on 3 other occasions. We are all looking forward to a great vacation on the Carnival Dream the first full week of February. We’ll be celebrating a couple of birthdays during our trip and I was wondering who I could contact to see if we might be able to get a table close to a window in the dining room as a little extra “icing on the birthday cake” so to speak. Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.
As for the dress code, Cruise Directors should be as comfortable as the passengers. Corporate casual has been the norm for years.
John Says:
Hello ToddI am hoping you will get to read this before you sail because unfortunately I don’t have your last name or stateroom number to help you with your dining request. If you have time to send it tonight I will try my best. Please though leave me a note of dedication about the birthdays at the Guest Services Desk so I can read them out on my live morning show as well as sending a little gift to those celebrating.
Thanks and best wishes to all
See you soon
JohnMike Haydu Asked:
Hi John, (please respond)Follow your blog daily! But just watching the news on the earthquake in Haiti. What does a ship captain do when a tsunami watch or warning has been issued when in the area of their ship.
Thanks!John Says:
Hello MikeThe situation in Haiti was and still is absolutely horrendous and we must all keep doing what we can to support those poor, poor people. All weather conditions are monitored 24 hours a day by the captain and officers as well as our operations department in Miami. Once a hurricane or severe weather warning is issued the captain and those at our Miami HQ will do whatever is needed to keep the ship and those onboard safe. We have been through many such warnings but …………touch wood……….never a Tsunami warning and let’s hope…………we never do.
This is also a great question for Capt Scala to go into in more detail. You can lookout for his reply on in his next blog which can be found on Funville.
Best wishes
JohnHarry Cutsforth Asked:
JohnI agree with those who have written requesting more assistance and replies to concerns and comments and less infantile humor on your blog. I think you would see a large increase in readership if you follow this path.
Sincerely
Harold CutsforthJohn Says:
Hello Harry CutsforthThank you for taking the time to write and I will try my very best to provide as much assistance to those who need it on the blog thingy while still keeping my sense of humour which for me is just as important.
I hope you continue to read the blog and I am here should you need my help.
Best wishes
JohnErik & Sharon Asked:
John (please reply)My wife and I have just returned and, while I will be posting a glowing review summary over on Cruise Critic, we did have a thought regarding the sales of Photos on the Carnival Conquest.
While three different pricing options were presented ($15 to $20), we just couldn’t find that *perfect* photo for the given price. We also noticed a number of couples/groups around us who were having much the same difficulty.
Has Carnival ever thought of having a “Photo Card” you can purchase (like the Soft Drink Card, but say for $100.00) which would allow you to automatically purchase all photos which are taken of you during the cruise?
It’s just a thought, but I think given that option Carnival would not only sell many more photos but also have more people stop to pose for them along the way.
Just a thought,
Erik & Sharon ValentineJohn Says:
Hello Erik and SharonThis is a great idea and you know, I am not sure if it’s one we have ever thought of but I will check. Certainly the soda card is very popular and maybe a photo card would be just as good. Thanks so much for taking the time to send me this great idea which I will take the credit for of course
Seriously, I will send it to Bob our VP of Commerce and will let you know what he says. I will try and find the time to pop on over to Cruise Critic and read your review. I am glad you had such a great time and hope we will see you onboard one of our fun for all ships again very soon.
Best wishes
Johngrizel robertson Asked:
John – Please reply.Like you I have been trapped at home because of snow accumulations, ice & all the other crap that accompanies the coldest spell in the UK for at least 25-30 years. My Christmas/New Year holidays were a break from mental work but consisted of shoveling, brushing & employing general elbow grease activities in Arctic conditions that rendered my fingers numb when my Wrangler boots, Mohair Scarf & Woolly Hat kept me otherwise warm in temperatures of -15.5 (centigrade). I have been unable to carry out my usual swim training (minimum 4,000 meters per week) in any pool because boilers have been unable to cope with the adverse outside conditions (what has gone wrong with modern technology).
I cannot wait to board C Victory in May 2010 but I appreciate that you are more enthusiastic about the prospect of Heidi & Kye joining you on board CCL as a family in February 2010. I would appreciate some form of recognition on any night on my BtB cruises in May of this year following my “millstone” birthday & would be grateful for any suggestions you can offer to ease the pain of a dedicated solo traveler who seeks some Real Fun on her Dream experiences.
Your Scottish Concierge Club member who endures over 24 hours of travel to embark on/disembark from cruises that are second to none. I just wish that the American participants who subscribe to your Blog & the Brits who subscribe to the UK Cruise Critique site could appreciate both sides to the equation.
Nemo me impune lacessit! That is the Latin phrase that is imprinted in the insignia in Scottish High Courts & on most of our coins of denominations of a pound or multiples thereof. The literal translation in Scots dialect is “Wha daur meddle wi me”, in other words, “who dare argue with my reasoning.”
John Says:
Hello Grizel RobertsonI know that while we had it pretty bad down South this winter that you Scots had it much, much worse. Your description of keeping warm was brilliant and I hope you are warmer now. Of course, your cruise is not far away and as you are travelling alone I know you must have some concerns. So, I want you to relax and not worry because as My Mum is Scottish I will look after you. Can you write to me in early April with your cabin number and full name and I will ask my friends to look after you. Also, have a think about your dining requirements and if there is anything I can do in this regard.
Until then, stay warm and dream of the Caribbean sunshine.
Och Eye The Noo
Best wishes
JohnBetty Mayfield Asked:
John please replyIs there any way you can post some pictures of the Carnival Fascination, I know she left for Freeport and dry dock when we got off the ship 4 January and I will be back on her in Feb and May. I was just curious to see progress in the work.
Thanks,
BettyJohn Says:
Hello BettyGreat timing. I hope you saw the photos on yesterday’s blog. Doesn’t she look fantastic?
Best wishes
John1stTimeCruiser Asked:
Dear John, (Please reply)Just so you know, we could not hear you in Detroit. We were far too busy trying to figure out why of all cities, the Christmas Day bomber had attempted to hit our broken down city. Anyways, I, along with my fiancée will be sailing on the Carnival Dream departing Jan. 30th. My best friend and HIS fiancée will be marrying aboard the fine vessel. I was wondering if there was anything you could think of that we should prepare with, or suggestions you might have to make his funeral….err….wedding more memorable? I appreciate any and all suggestions!
Cordially,
Paul D.John Says:
Hello 1stTimeCruiser Paul DI am hoping that we have met and that you have had a great time here on your Carnival Dream. Did we meet? I hope so.
Please write when you get home.
Best wishes.
John
That’s all for today.
This unfortunately will be a quick blog thingy due to it being Friday and my schedule being as follows.
9:00 AM – CAPTAIN AND DEPARTMENT HEAD MEETING
10:00M – MORNING SHOW
11:00AM – DEBARKATION TALK
NOON – ENTERTAINMENT STAFF MEETING
2:00PM – HOST NEWLYWED GAME
3:00PM – PRODUCTION SHOW TECHNICAL MEETING
4:30PM – HOST FAREWELL PARTY
5: 00 PM – PREPARE SCHEDULES AND CAPERS WITH CRAIG FOR NEXT WEEK
I also have to dress as Dolly sodding Parton for the Carnival Legends show………bugger. So as it’s already 8:10 am, me and my underpants better crack on.
One of the greatest joys of this job is meeting so many people with so many stories to tell. Have a look this letter.
Having read this letter I called the guest who told me of the horrors she had faced and how her husband’s fists had turned her life and that of her children into a living hell. And finally with him locked away in prison her 10 year old sun comes home from Sunday Church School and tells Mum that he met a man who “I want to be my Dad.” And his wish came true.
It is always so humbling to hear of stories like that and I must admit that it never ceases to amaze me why people choose to share them with me.
Now, meet Leo and Mary Marantz who joined me on stage yesterday for the Marriage Show. They were high school sweet hearts and eloped when he was 19 and she just 17. That because Leo was being shipped of to France for the Normandy Beach landings with the US Airborne and as he said “I wanted to marry her in case I never came back.”
But he did come back and now they have been married for 66 years and they were a true joy and the 800 guests who watched the show gave them both a standing ovation some I am sure wishing silently that they and their partners should be so lucky to be with each other for so many years…. as did I.
Here are Leo and Mary.
So, my first week here on my Carnival Dream is nearly over. Yes, I was a little nervous about coming to the Carnival Dream for reasons I won’t go into now and there are a few concerns that I have to address and with some hard work on my part and that of the crew we will make the changes that we need to do. The barbecue on the Lanai and the Brunch have certainly reduced the number of people eating on Lido Deck and having spoken to many, many guests this cruise only a few have mentioned that there has been some wait time on deck 10. But this was as I said a small minority and was usually at breakfast or involved the Mongolian Wok.
I know that a few bloggers were a little upset at me for saying some negative things about the RCI flagship. I have to say I don’t think I said anything too bad and most of it was in jest as always. However, the two ships came out at approximately the same time so of course there have been comparisons from the start. Yes, the Carnival Dream is not as big, obviously, as the Oasis of the Seas. But if you take price, quality, fun, value for money and service looks into account ……..to me……… she is simply brilliant.
If your Carnival Dream was a contestant on Dancing with the Stars……. she would score an almost perfect row of tens.
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Filed under: Caribbean, Destinations, Tales from the Ship, Travel | Tagged: Dream, Funville
Thank you so very much John for sharing these wonderful stories and pics! I’ve never cried over one of your blogs before but I did for this one. See you on Feb.13th on the Dream.
PS Can’t wait to meet Ms. Dolly Parton.!!
Hi John, (please reply) maybe!!!
We sailed on the Carnival Dream Jan 23, She is a beautiful ship and we had a fabulous time. The wait for breakfast and lunch was not nearly as bad as we had heard. We were quite nervous after reading all the bad press. We were the group with the safety green shirts you could hardly miss us, as we glowed!!! Thanks to the staff it made our trip wonderful! I would like to know why they didn’t sell the future vacation vouchers this year, we were able to get them on the freedom but not on the dream?? We sail every year and would like to know if they will be available again. As we are booked on the Carnival Miracle Jan 22 2011. Hope you have a wonderful time on the DREAM.
Thanks again.
Kathie
Hi John, I watched your friend Kevin on The View this am. They spent a whole segment with him. He has a major part in tonights segment of Greys Anatomy. I hope you get to see him.
Jo
I just started reading your blog a couple weeks ago and I love it. The humor(spelled correctly) makes my day. I enjoy the laughs I get. I have been on one Carnival cruise and will be going again, this time on the conquest in the near future. I hope it is while you are on board
Harry Cutsforth
and others that have come here because you have heard on some “boards” you can get free stuff by coming here please go back to where you came from. This blog was not set up as a Carnival “Help site”. From the very start this was a blog by John Heald that just happened to be a Carnival Cruise Director. Over a period of time BLOGGERS that had been coming back daily to read John’s “pee and poop” humor started asking different questions which John then answered. Then one day when someone mentioned they would be on a cruise for an anniversary John made the mistake of saying he would send them a bottle of champagne. From that time on John, on his own, started helping BLOGGERS with other issues. Then someone posted on one of those “boards” that this blog was a “I want” blog where you can go and on your very first comment on it say “I want” this or that.
I wish all of you that came here just because you thought it was a place to get things for free would PLEASE go back to were you came from. THANK YOU.
BIG ED
Follower on this blog since day one.
John, Heidi might be giving me a swift kick in the bollocks! When she see’s the birthday gift I have for you!!! I say more comments on that overcrowded charge you for everything, Overkill of the seas there.
Big Fans as Allways,
Frank and Bridie
John,
Great blog today…… I like the way passenger memos are now posted with the blog on a blue background. It makes them much easier to read and see.
Best of luck on your WalMart shopping journey,
and take some help along. You will need it.
Dave
There’s something about Angelina Jolie that bothers me… the tattoos. I can’t deal with tattoos. Perhaps Brad the Pitts can’t either.
A few days back you published a link to a thread on Cruise Critic that discussed the Carnival ’stigma.’ At that time there were about 40 comments, all very positive. Well, that thread is now up to about 100 posts… all still very positive. Here’s the link again:
http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1131993
God bless Leo and Mary. Amazing. I applaud them and their wonderful life.
Just a quick question… your friend at the posh London eatery… the one sitting near Jerry Hall… his phone didn’t happen to have a camera, did it???
All the best to Heidi and Kye and, of course, you!!!
Ciao!
Host Mach
Hi John,
Just a quick follow-up to 2 of recent items.
The lady who was upset with you because of the prank during the Welcome Aboard show yesterday needs to learn to laugh at herself. During a cruise on the Liberty in 2007 – with Todd as cruise director – I was invited to the stage to take part in the festivities. To my total horror, I tripped and fell down on stage!!!! I think I was teased about this the entire cruise by everyone on board. I had on a skirt, too :0! LOL
Regarding the new pins – I cruised on the Inspiration in December – my 6th Carnival cruise. I did buy one of the new pins in the gift shop. I think they are not nearly as nice as the old past guest pins. They just seemed “cheap” and “tacky” compared to the previous pins. I have 2 more Carnival cruises booked this year – on the Carnival Dream and the Carnival Fascination – and I guess I will just have to be happy with the new pins. The other pins are much nicer though. My “collection” does not look as nice as it used to.
Thanks for asking for our opinions.
Charlotte G.
Hi John (please reply, if you have time),
Well, I must have “Carnival cruise fever” after sailing on the Carnival Dream (10/15/09) in the Med, because I just booked another Carnival cruise.
My fiance, Jeanne & I will be getting married later this year, so I wanted to keep “in- check “(both time & money), the vacation with my 2 boys (Ryan-12 & Colin-9) this summer.
Perfect answer was the Carnival Ecstasy out of Galveston. We are booked for the 5-day West Carib on July 10th.
My question is, I would love to show my sons the behind the scenes of a large commercial ship in operation (I have a maritime background). I am sure they are not getting any exposure or encouragement in the maritime field from my ex-wife out in San Diego. Does the Carnival Ecstasy do the “Behind the Fun” tour?
We have booked one of the new balcony cabins and I am really looking forward to seeing how the ship looks after her Evolutions of Fun upgrades. Heck, I was impressed with the ship a few years back when I took Jeanne on her first cruise, the 4-day “weekender” out of Galveston to Cozumel. The condition of the ship was excellent in view of her age and I noted that the crew was constantly cleaning, making repairs, maintaining, etc throughout the cruise. By the way, I had sailed on her maiden West Carib voyage out of Miami in 1991, so I’m very familiar with the Ecstasy. She has followed me to SE Texas (I live in Houston)…
Thanks for your wonderful blog AND you’re sense of humor (spelled correctly)! You are a perfect fit for Carnival because fun & humor go hand-in-hand!! Keep up the great job and I hope we can sail with you someday. I am also a cigar enthusiast, so maybe we’ll enjoy a cigar together someday. Take care and best wishes to you & your family (especially with their long flight across The Pond”).
Marty (& Jeanne)
Hi John (please reply)
First of all, we have enjoyed your blog “thingie” for a few years and had the opportunity to sail with you on the Carnival Freedom–you’re the best! We look forward to reading your blog daily—thanks for all you do!
My husband, Jim, and I and our daughter and her girlfriend are fortunate to be sailing on the Carnival Dream March 6-13 and you will be there, too! We can’t wait! Unfortunately, we will just miss Heidi and Kye—enjoy your time with them, which I am sure you will!
This is a celebration cruise for us…we celebrated our 25th anniversary a few months ago, my husband’s birthday is March 8, and our only child will be graduating from college in May…so what better way to celebrate than on a Carnival cruise during her spring break. We do not know where she will get a job (she has just begun her search), so this may be our last family trip together, at least for a while. (As her mom, this is worse for me than when she left for college–at least then, I knew when she’d be home for holidays, etc.). Anyway, would it be possible for us to have a table for 4 so we can have family time together? Our booking numbers are 26KH53 and 26KH73 (rooms 7332 and 7337).
Also, during his birthday week, my husband would like to meet you and have his picture taken with you (he, too, likes the occasional cigar!)…..maybe this would be possible?, though we know you have such a busy schedule.
Thank you, John. We are SO looking forward to cruising with you again and being on the Carnival Dream! Until then………………Beverly
Dear John:
You talk so lovely about the Carnival Dream. We have decided to take another cruise & want to cruise with you as the cruise director. If I remember correctly, you said that you usually are on the newest ships. The Carnival Magic will be coming out some time (I think) in 2011 & it will be cruising the Mediteranean. We would like to go on that cruise along with another couple that we met 2 years ago when we were on the Carnival Freedom & that’s when we had you for our cruise director. I promised myself that, because we had such a wonderful time with you, that I would like to cruise again in the future with you, before we get to old to cruise. You made us laugh so much & in life, there isn’t much laughter so whenever you can enjoy yourself, why not?
Please let me know if you will be the cruise director on that ship & when (if possible). I would like to start making my reservations now.
I enjoy hearing about you & your family & all your experiences with the passengers. You certainly are a bright spot in this world & have brought me much laughter. Thank you for being you.
Annette Mattaboni
please reply can u also tell me whos the cd on the liberty nov 27th. ty
Dear John,
Ten isn’t high enough if you ask me. The CCL Dream is as beautiful ship as I would ever want to sail on. She carries a few more people than I would really like, but that seems to be the way now a days. The Bigger, Faster, I want it all, and I want it now generation. I have often prayed for patience but have never asked for it NOW! We have a grandson who has ADHD and give me the need for all the patience I can muster. He is a good kid and really tries hard to be good but give him too much sugar in a can of Pop or something and he gets spun out like a top.
It seems that it is a hurry up and wait country that we live in. We hurry here and there and get mad when we don’t hit the light and have to wait, instead of being thankful for the time to reflect on the good things life has brought our way. The car we are driving ninety miles per hour to get to the store to buy nipple pads. The radio that plays our favorite tunes to make the journey more pleasant. When we finally get on a cruise ship the last thing Nancy or I want to do is to hurry the cruise along. We would prefer it lasts for ever. To rush through life with out taking the time to smell the roses is to miss all of the good things that we have been blessed with. The sun is shinning in the Caribbean and Carnival still sails there. Lets be thankful for Mr. Cahill and the people who have made such a great vacation possible for us not so rich and definitely not famous. Onboard we have it gooood!
Thanks!,
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
this is for
harry cutsfarts
live a little ,,you old fuddy duddy
we like the blog as is !!!!
I just wanted to say thank you for your dedication to your blog and for posting good, THOROUGH information to cruisers. I look forward to hopefully meeting you as my husband and I board the DREAM on Feb. 13th.
john i read on cruise critic that awful thread about your talking about rccl and i wanted to say that i did not post on it but want to say something here. what they do not know is that the rccl banter started when the cd on rccl was calling carnival ships names on their lido deck and it was overheard on ccl. remember? well ever since that it has been a friendly banter about them and they do the same. that’s all it is. lighten up people. they have not read the blog and don’t know the history of this.
charlie had his first week of radiation this week and did pretty good. one down, three to go. hopefully after that we’ll be cruising again.
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
Hi John~
I just want to say that I hope you don’t listen to the Harry’s of the world. By now you may have caught wind of the thread on Cruise Critic about people thinking your humour is out of line. Your blog is not about you being a concierge and I can’t help but think that the people who are “suggesting” you get back to customer service are only on the blog to get something done for themselves.
Personally speaking, I enjoy that your blog contains a nice mix of humour, what it’s like to be a CD and a peek at behind the scenes at Carnival. I am very thankful that, for our first cruise in 2007, we ended up going with the Elation over one of those “…of the Seas” boats. It really was a random choice as they were identical (on paper) in almost every way. We haven’t looked back since.
Have a good weekend!
Colleen
Good evening John. Once again all I can say is that my last cruise on the Carnival Dream was the best cruise that we ever had between having visited you, being with Empress Bee and Sarge Charlie, Mahogany Bay, the great food, the many workers that made our cruise most enjoyable and just about everything. The way that we were treated during this cruise all I can say is that Carnival is the best and I will always being cruising with my company, Carnival Cruise Lines.
I don’t understand how people can get so upset with the little things especially that they are on a cruise, cruising on the Caribbean, resting aboard a beautiful ship, enjoying great food, tremendous entertainment and not doing a thing. They have to be crazy not to enjoy it.
Next week I plan on seeing my travel agent about a cruise on the Carnival Miracle that will send me and My wife on an a 8 days cruise to Aruba. I’m looking forward to it even though you will not be there. You will be there in my mind every cruise I will take in the future because Carnival to me is synonymous with John Heald. See you later my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
( retirementman )
Hello John I feel like I have Know you for a long time.I started reading your blog about 3 month ago .If it was not for your humer it It wont-ed be John!My wife,myself,daughter,son-in-law.Three grands well be with you on the DREAM on March 20.MY wife and I will be celbrating our 39th anniversary a little early.Next year we will be on the Liberty for two weeks on hour 40th.I am glade to here you will be on the DREAM when we get there I am going to make a point to meet you.WE had one bad crusie one time but the next crusie made us forget it. This is my wife 11th and my 9th (she made me stay home for 2)!Hope to see you soon.I will be the old bold headed man in the wheell chair.JL
Please reply before 2/20
Happy for you, Heidi and Kye, but sad for all of us on this side of the pond that don’t fly.
John, we sail with you in 2 weeks. We look forward to seeing the bedtime story , even though we have seen it 4 times in person and probably a dozen times playing the DVD for guests in our home. I guess when you go across the big pond and take the permanent position of CD on the Magic, the DVD will have to sustain us since we will no longer get to sail with you.
We have a few more times of cruising with you this year, so please don’t stop doing the bedtime story.
I have a problem I emailed special needs dept and asked them if they would please stock Lactose free milk on the Dream 2/20 since I am lactose intolerant.I’m also allergic to eggs, so I eat ceral for breakfast and need lactose free milk.
Mr. Andy Borrero, Jr, informed me
“Should lactose free milk be required onboard, guests are more than welcome to bring their own onboard. We ask that you please bring enough that will last you the duration of the sailing.”
I am already bringing my butter, cheese, dairy free creamer for my coffee, salad dressing, foam mattress, toliet paper as well as some other items. Is it too much to ask for them to stock the milk that I and I’m sure others can drink without getting sick? They had it on the Carnival Valor, they also had it on the Carnival Dream in Dec.
What if a person is flying in and coming straight to the port, how would they bring milk on the plane?
I’m sorry to unload on you, but I think you can tell I’m p*^^ed.
Carolyn
Dear John: Please reply. I have two questions for you and one favor to also ask. 1. I’ve always wondered why ships are registered either in the Bahamas, Liberia or Panama. Is it due to taxes? 2. Do you know where I can obtain a Carnival Festivale ship pin? I sailed on that ship years ago and need that pin to complete my pin collection. I’m a Platinum Carnival Cruise Line member. 3. I wrote to you some time back that I have a client who is going to be on the Carnival Dream with you on the April 17th sailing. He is 28 years old and is an orphan at his young age. His Dad passed away two months ago from cancer and his Mom died when he was ten years old. The client was also under the impression that the Dream would be stopping in Nassau and was surprised that the itinerary changed from the time he booked and paid for the cruise. Would you be able to get him and his girlfriend a dinner for two in the steakhouse during his cruise? I would really appreciate that very much if you could do this for them. I’m also their travel agent who booked this cruise for them. I would appreciate your reply to my two questions and my favor that I asked of you. I know that you are looking forward to having Heidi and Kye sailing with you on February 12th. Best regards, Leslie
Dear John,
First. I wanted to take the time to tell you how much I have been enjoying your blogs. My husband and I are going to be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary onboard the Carnival Legend the week of October 17th. It will be our first cruise. It is going to be a very long year. I also wanted to tell you what a great vacation planner you have in Diane Coto. She has been a great help. She has got me so excited about the cruise I have been driving family and relatives crazy. However through this I know have 4 more people coming along to celebrate with us. Sorry to ramble. Can you please let me know who I can contact to make sure Diane gets the recognition she deserves for her work and dedication in making my first cruise a memorable one? Thank You in advance for your help. Looking forward to your blogs.
D.J.
We loved our cruise on the Carnival Dream and hope to sail on her again in the future. It is still hard to understand or believe the negative comments about this ship. Guess some people must find something to complain about just to feel important.
John,
I hate to ask for favors, I know you have so many reguests. We are sailing on the Elation on Oct. 4, 2010. Ronnie’s Birthday is on Oct. 4, and Our granddaughter’s is Oct 16th. This is her first Cruise.
We are takeing her for her 13th Birthday. We have a party of 5. If it is possible could we get a table for 5 on the lower level first seating in the middle .
We love your Blogs. We know you will be so excited to see your Two Girls.
Love to You,Hedi & Kye
Please Reply!
John – what part of “this is your blog and your opinions” don’t people understand? If someone is supposedly ‘offended’ by remarks you make – then they shouldn’t read them. I bet 99% of your readers love what you write and know the difference between your serious comments and your kidding comments. If they don’t – they need to “get a life”. Maybe they really don’t understand what a blog is….
Hey John,
Just a short note from Donna and I as we sit with our friends in Florida after spending a wonderful week on the Carnival Dream. We just spent an hour telling them of our adventures and couldn’t stop laughing .
We had a ball and can’t thank you and your team enough for the attention and treatment we received.
Thank you very much for the wonderful prizes. We will think of y’all (lol) each time we use them.
We trust your new socks fit you and that you will enjoy the Cohiba on the deck on one of your Cigars under the stars nights.
Thank you for doing the BEDTIME story. We enjoyed it immensely.
It was great to finally meet you and we wish you all the success in future DREAM cruises.
Hoping your girls join you soon . Say HI to Heidi and Kye.
All the best,
Brad and Donna Hodgson
AKA ” Mr. Canada”……..back to anonymety…………..LOL
John,
So I see another person has told you to spend more time taking requests and less time being infantile. This comment so fits your blog today in that people want everything now, everything their way..etc etc. It amazes me that someone states you should devote more time to things that have nothing to do with a blog (reservations and gripes) at the same time calling you/your humor infantile. These are the types of people one wishes are among those that are so arrogant they think the ship will wait for them to leave while in port. And we all just love to wave goodbye, laughing at those people!
Dear John,
We love your blog! Please tell the wonderful wait staff on all Carnival ships that we also love being treated to fantastic service that is not hurried (If you want to hurry go to Mickey D’s). We are so fortunate to be going on our third Carnival cruise within the last 6 months and we got the upsell call so it will be our first suite. We will be traveling on the Sensation, March 7th with my niece and her husband to celebrate her 49th and my 63rd birthday. We would love for you, Heidi and Kye to jump ship and join us but we know that you are required elsewhere. If possible, would you send a note to say Happy Birthday to my niece. Her name is Kimberly N. Sanders. Please resond.
Here’s hoping you are having a wonderful day and that Heidi and Kye have a wonderful flight.
Irma Moore
Attention For John
John I have just received another email from special needs dept. apologizing and advising me that the lactaid milk will be available.
Thanks for your help and I’m sure also Ken’s
Carolyn
email is as follows
Please accept our apologies, the following milks are provided onboard:
2% Skim Milk Chocolate Milk Plain Soy Milk Lactose Free Milk Lactaid Free Milk Whole Milk
If there is anything else we can do for you please don’t hesitate to ask.
Sincerely,
Andy Borrero Jr.
Guest Solutions Specialist
Hi John, Please reply,
I was just wondering if my comment regarding help with our dining ever made it. Thanks
Barbara
Please respond–
John, do you still speak with a Proper English accent or has the contact with Americans spoilt it? I hope you still have it.
Hi John, always enjoy reading your blog! Regarding the Valentines post, on my past 2 cruises I have mentioned in my comment card about the photo card idea as well. A large Mouse owned park in Florida gives you a card as you are going around the park, and you just give it to the photographer, he scans it, and then you can view your pictures at a computer at a kiosk, or even from the comfort of your own home, and purchase from there. I can’t imagine the amount of waste Carnival goes through for pictures that people don’t purchase. Maybe you could even view the pictures on the television in your room and purchase from there. Monday February 8th is my 18th wedding anniversary, and the 9th is the anniversary we first cruised with you, on the Carnival Ecstasy in 1992! Hope you have a spiffing day!!
John, PLEASE REPLY
Howdy! Hope everything is going well for you and that you’re enjoying the Carnival Dream!
My family and girlfriend and I are booked on the Carnival Dream for May 29th, and I had a quick question for you. Is there any way to book the behind the scenes tour in advance so that we’re sure to get a spot? Also, is there a way that we can get reservations for 2 for the chef’s table?
I wish you could be there with us, but that would be just too good to be true. This will be our 13th cruise with Carnival for the family, but my girlfriend’s first…I can’t wait to show her the time of her life!
Thanks in advance for everything!
–Adam M. (the piano man)
Howdy John,thanks for all you do.I do not know where you find the time.
Yes,that is my real name and Huckleberry Finn is right next to me now !!!!!
We(my wife & I)need your help to point us in the right direction with Carnival.I have written two letters and received back very polite replies, however they are not reaching the right person(s) or department.I hope you will have the time to allow us to explain our issue and we are praying, and will be forever thankful, for you help.
Thank You
To one of the 343 Stephanie’s — Help – please reply
We are sailing next Sunday (Feb 14) on the Splendor. I need to ask for assistance with our dinner seating. This trip started out as two couples and has ended up with more than 40 friends and friends of friends going. Great for all concerned but it is causing me to worry about our dining arrangements. It would be great if we were all in the same general vicinity of the dining room.
We are so looking forward to this but I am concerned that we won’t be seated with our friends. We would truly appreciate a table for 8.
If you can arrange this I will be so greatful. We are loyal readers of the blog since April 2007 and know how much you all do. I’ve dealt with Stephanie Levitt but I’m sorry to say I don’t know who is handling all this now. Please introduce yourself!
Thanks so much.
Bob and Donna Murta
Hi John,
I like the humor you include into your blogs…this is one of the main reasons I check it daily, so please don’t remove your witty comments etc…and only answer questions/ requests people send you.
Can wait to meet you on the Dream Feb 20! My husband and I are already starting to pack
Have a great day!
Beverly
John, several of my family and me just got off the Dream (Jan.30-Feb6) and thought you were the highlite of the cruise. Your presence on stage and quick wit made us laugh and laugh. We’d even catch it again on the TV and laugh like crazy.
Now of course it is fortunate that several things just fall into your lap and really make you look good:
-literally , like Mary did to you with skit on the Talent show evening. my laugh was as big as the bruise on your leg
-a gentleman with the name Dick Little. You got 2 shows of laughs out of that one.
Also John we will remember this cruise forever and you were a big part of it. You read the note of Nathan (my nephew)and Leslie and their proposal one evening at dinner. You proceeded to call and wake them up and use your French accent to make them think they had a problem with their sign and sail account . You told Leslie to look over at channel 6 for her charges and their you were all smug. Just classic.
Thanks to you John and Carnival for an excellent week.
John , Had a great time this past week on the dream. Melanie never found her camera on the ship but maybe now that the cruise is over whoever has it will send it in.Until next time…CHEERS
John, reply if you have time,
Don’t know if you are aware of this or not but I found out thru a facebook friend that the researchers at CIOS (Carnival Institute of Syndroms) have descovered a new syndrome called Rectal Cranial Inversion or RCI for short or head up your butt syndrome (street name). It has become the Institudes sole purpose to get the word out that if you know anyone who shows signs of suffering from RCI, they get help immediately, because if not caught early, people suffering this horrible desease will suffer a life full of needless spending and waiting in very long lines. Also, (the researchers just descovered this a week of two ago) and very sadly, these people will also be under the impression that when they book a cruise they will be looking at the ocean, when in reality, they will be looking at nothing of the such. This is a very sad and unfortunate desease, please get the word out immediatly to stop the spread.
Hi John, this is “Mary’s” younger sister Tammy from the Carnival Dream ending on 2/6 – You have such way a magical way to make people feel good and I love you for that! Thanks for the many laughs you brought to my family!!!
Tammy
Long Beach, California!!!
I am very excited about taking my first Carnival cruise February 19th! I will be sailing with my boyfriend who has recently returned from a deployment to Afghanistan with the U.S. Air Force. I was wondering if there was anything special I could do for him on the cruise? I am so proud of his service to our country and I want him to know how much I appreciate the work he does. Any good ideas…or ways to give him some recognition while on board? Thanks!
Re: Harold Cutsforth.
There is a “Disclaimer” located on the top right-hand side of the page, that clearly states that this is John’s personal blog. If you don’t like the contents, stay away.
We like it the way it is. He doesn’t have to help with all the requests for special tables, cakes, and presents. He does it because he is a good, kind-hearted man.
Vivienne
John, Please Reply
I used to travel a lot when my son was a baby. I worked internationally and took him with me (with a nanny of course). I found that a little Benadryl and allowing them to either nurse or give a bottle during take offs and landings was very helpful. I hope it amounts to nothing and you worry for naught.
This year in August we cruise with 2 different groups back to back. The old folks on the first week and the youngsters (40 somethings) on the second week. Cant wait, but I wish you were to be our CD. Oh well, it will be a blast no matter what. Next year we are discussing a girls only cruise and I really want it to be with you. Any idea yet where you might be in spring 2011???? LOL
John (please reply)
Just wanted to say I enjoy your blog exactly as it is. If other individuals don’t appreciate your humour then they should go elsewhere. I don’t think you need to increase your readership – you are already setting records.
Now to my question – I am boarding the Carnival Glory on April 18. I know it is currently in drydock and would appreciate an update on the work happening. Is this possible?
Again today I second Big Ed’s Comment!
Frank and Bridie
ATTN:
HARRY “WHINER” CUTSTHINGY
John,
Just wanted to let you know that I was on the cruise last week ( 1/30/10-2-6/10), and I had an awesome time! You are a great Director! I loved the “Mary had a little Lamb” bedtime story!! The Dancin’ in the Streets show was Great too! Thanks so much for making it such a great week!
John,
I found this online. If you use Microsoft Word, this is how you can create the pound sterling symbol (£):
Press and hold the Alt key while you type 0163 on the numerical keypad on the side of your keyboard, (NOT on the numbers above the letters). When you release the Alt key you will have a £ sign inserted where the cursor is.
This only will work with the number pad, however.
Laurie F.
Hello Johnny
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tom & jane
Hi John,
My girlfriend just got home from the most amazing week on the Carnival Dream. What a beautiful ship, so many wonderful things to do and see on board. As well as the BEST cruise director I have had the pleasure of cruising with. Your sense of humor and involvement of the guests in your shows is fantastic. We really enjoyed the talent show and bedtime story evening. I haven’t laughed that much in I don’t know how long. We also really enjoyed your morning shows with all the letters from our fellow cruisers and the time you took to speak with them. I don’t know if Carnival has a cruise director of the year award but you definitely should win it! Now it’s time to start planning for our next cruise, which will probably be on board your new ship that has yet to be named (hopefully they pick the name my girlfriend suggested), and start counting down the days until we can sail again. Although, we will definitely be cruising with you again as our cruise director. By the way, did you get one of the chefs to make you some deviled eggs? Once again thanks to you and everyone on board the Dream for making our vacation wonderful.
Sincerely
Paul & Desiree
Hi John!
Congrats on getting through the first week back onboard and that means its only a few days until Heidi/Kye come to visit!
I agree with you about instant gratification and that isn’t going to change. Its just going to get worse that people wants results/action now.
Our local paper reviewed both the Carnival Dream and Oasis of the Seas. I am attaching the links below for you to read.
Have a great week and take care!
David
Oasis review: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/travel/thisweek/stories/DN-oasiswooldridge_0207tra.ART.State.Edition1.9bc436.html
Dream review: http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/fea/travel/thisweek/stories/DN-carnivaldream_0207tra.ART.State.Edition1.25c78c1.html
John, (Please Reply)
My wife and I are part of the CC 100+ group joining you on the Dream 2/20/10. We are both platinum with CCL and big fans of your blog. Somehow you have managed to avoid us until this sailing. We very much look forward to finally meeting you.
My question is regarding the new CCL Chef`s table how does one sign up for this not to be missed event on our sailing?
Best Wishes,
Gary Collier
John (please reply if possible)
We are booked on the Dream for July but I have just found out that I am 8 weeks pregnant. I think this means that we can not cruise as I will be 28 weeks pregnant at the time. We have paid a deposit can you let me know if I will get a refund or if I can transfer onto another cruise for next year?
Hi John, just left you another message but forgot to say we love the blog. The humour (spelling correct) is perfect and makes me laugh every day. I hope to meet you one day on a Carnival cruise
Hi John, have not posted before but wish to say I enjoy your blog. Checked it out after reading the thread on cruise critic about it, I love your sense of humor – laughed because of the stereotype (in the US) of Brits being so proper!
One question, I am so glad that Carnival has resumed Europe cruises. I was so hoping though for a cruise that began or ended in England, as a transatlantic. At any point will itineraries other than Mediterranean be added? I know, Carnival finally adds Europe again & already people are asking for more. I love London, and was hoping to spend a week pre or post cruise. I had the april 2009 transatlantic booked on the Liberty, when it was canceled. Hoping to find another itinerary like it.
Harry Cutsforth:
Please do 15 seconds of research and realize that this Blog was started years ago for the SOLE purpose of entertainment with wonderful information thrown in as a bonus.
Carnival has a Guest Services Department and it is NOT John.
John has been kind enough to assist in some situations where he can out of the generosity of his own heart….NOT because it is the function of this Blog. John has even additional gone out of his way to set up a CARE team to assist in special matters. But again, that is NOT the reason for this Blog.
Don’t ruin it for everyone else because you can’t learn (or think you are to good to go through) the proper channels.
Linda
Linda
John:
First a huge congratulations to Leo and Mary….
66 years is amazing.
I still can’t believe that (even though we have sailed with you 3 times) we have never sailed with you as a CD.
We are correcting that oversight May 8th on the Fantasy. AND I will actually be leaving my precious karaoke long enough to see you SHINE on stage!!
Keep up the good work!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)