So Heidi returned to our home after it being empty of her and Kye and me for three weeks. And while she returned to normality in the house……the garden was another story all together. According to Heidi our garden looks as if the giant worms from the movie Tremors have been partying in it and a flame thrower would seem like a better gardening implement than the shovel and rake I have in my shed.
I thought I had gotten rid of these little bastards last year as I played the equivalent of the hunt for Osama Bin Laden in the caves of Afghanistan ……….but with a mole. I realize I know nothing of mole hunting. What is the natural predator of the mole? The local cats and foxes seem uninterested, we don’t have a dog and the local pet store has sold out of giant pythons.
I doubt even a huge bugger of a snake would be any use anyway because this mole has destroyed so much of our garden; I am convinced it is some kind of mutant super mole, the Wolverine of the mole world. But where Wolverine has indestructible, steel claws, Moleverine has a fully operational John Deere digger thingy hanging from his bollocks. Even if the natural predator of the mole was Predator, I truly believe that in the epic garden/space battle that would eventually become Mole v Predator, the mole would kick Predator’s arse…………. no contest.
Old time bloggers may remember that last time this happened. I had gone to our version of the Home Depot which in the UK is called the Home Depot. According to someone wearing an orange apron, they don’t sell guns so instead I bought something called a sonic mole chaser because it sounded like something Predator might have strapped to his shoulder as a weapon. It didn’t work.
The first night it was embedded in the ground, instead of being chased away by the mole chaser, the mole actually worked twice as hard. In fact, the molehill that’s right next to the sonic mole chaser was so large I saw some sherpas and a yak trying to climb it.
Heidi asked me on the phone today what to do? Uncle Googles advice includes boiling water (too cruel……just)………….traps (don’t work)…………gas (too dangerous), poison (not a good idea with Kye crawling now) and mothballs (my Aunty Mad Maggie has those in her closet but she lives miles away)……..as I read I wasn’t sure if I was looking at ways to catch moles or a list of the inventory of a Guantanamo Bay interrogation manual.
This makes me angry. It seems human technology can make an App for an Eye Phone that can tell you why babies are crying but they can’t find a way to make this sodding super Mole pack up its John Deere and terrorize someone else’s back yard. It’s honestly got to the point where I’m more than happy to condone North Korea’s nuclear weapons program as long as Kim Jong-il agrees to point one, just a tiny one, at my garden.
Heidi reports there are now seven towering piles, each resembling one of Pamela Andersen’s breasts. Things are developing so fast that by tomorrow I fully expect Heidi will wake up to find the moles have learned to talk and wear armor and ride on the backs of the local dogs and will have captured my wife in a net and have set about jabbing her with sticks. And as I round the corner by the shed where I keep old copies of the Carnival Capers, I’ll find the shattered remains of the Statue of Liberty. You bastard moles! You blew it up!……………. Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
Time for today’s questions……………….away we go
Nancy Scrutton Asked:
Had a group of 61 people on the Dream Jan 30…I have not stopped laughing about the Night Time Story. One of my clients bought the DVD and we are having him bring it in so my staff could witness this adventure! Loved the cruise…ships are getting too big…15,000 people in St MAatens is obscene! Funny thing…my comment card disappeared from my room…I know my cabin steward was good, but I am certain he didn’t run it down to the comment box! Wonder if he thinks I said something bad about him…very strange. Thanks for a great time and we’ll be back next year. Allison’s Travel
John Says:
Hello Nancy ScruttonThat is strange about your comment card. I am sure he thought you had written something positive about him and so wanted to make sure it got placed in the box and read by his supervisors. I agree that when there are so many ships in port together it does become very crowded indeed. St. Maarten is the worst-case scenario of this with us and the Monster of the Seas being together. On your voyage we had 3,890 guests and they had 6,000. Add the other ships to this sum and the infrastructure does buckle at times.
However, take yesterday in Cozumel. We were the only ship in port and that was luxury, pure luxury. Obviously this is the heart of the season and come late April many of the ships will head to Europe, Alaska and over distant ports and things then become a lot quieter here in the Caribbean. I am so glad you had a great time and I hope that you will come sail with me again soon.
Best wishes to you and everyone in your office.
JohnNicola (McCormick) Asked:
John (please reply if possible)We are booked on the Dream for July but I have just found out that I am 8 weeks pregnant. I think this means that we cannot cruise as I will be 28 weeks pregnant at the time. We have paid a deposit can you let me know if I will get a refund or if I can transfer onto another cruise for next year?
John Says:
Hello NicolaFirst of all many congratulations and I hope your pregnancy is an easy one for you. I think I know the answer to this but I am going to defer to our CARE Team who I will ask to contact you as soon as possible. I am sure they will be able to explain what you need to do and what we can do for you. I am sorry that you will have to postpone your cruise but very happy for you that you will soon be holding your bundle of joy.
John is a great name for a boy by the way………even if it does mean…………toilet.
Best wishes
JohnGC Asked:
John, (Please Reply)My wife and I are part of the CC 100+ group joining you on the Dream 2/20/10. We are both platinum with CCL and big fans of your blog. Somehow you have managed to avoid us until this sailing. We very much look forward to finally meeting you.
My question is regarding the new CCL Chef`s table how does one sign up for this not to be missed event on our sailing?
Best Wishes,
Gary CollierJohn Says:
Hello Garry CollierWell, here we go again with me answering a question way, way after you have sailed. I hope you enjoyed the cruise and that we met. Did we? And did you enjoy the Chef’s Table experience. It has been a sell-out each week since I joined my Carnival Dream so I have not had a chance to experience the food. But I have seen the set up and read the comments from guests many of whom have said it was the best experience of their cruise. Meeting the chef, eating a specially prepared and exclusive menu and doing so in the galley during full operation is they say “fantastic.” I hope you got to enjoy it and I hope that you and all my friends from Cruise Critic had a great cruise
Best wishes
JohnSue McMichael Asked:
John (please reply)Just wanted to say I enjoy your blog exactly as it is. If other individuals don’t appreciate your humour then they should go elsewhere. I don’t think you need to increase your readership – you are already setting records.
Now to my question – I am boarding the Carnival Glory on April 18. I know it is currently in dry-dock and would appreciate an update on the work happening. Is this possible?
John Says:
Hello Sue McMichaelThanks for those kind words of support and I appreciate them very much. Carnival Glory has returned from dry dock and I am sure you saw the photos I posted on a blog thingy two weeks ago or so. The new Seaside Theatre Big Screen and Circle C have made a huge difference and with new carpeting and cabin upgrades the ship I am told looks spectacular. I know you will have a brilliant time and if there is anything you need before you sail, please let me know.
Best wishes to all
JohnColin R Asked:
I got your e-mail address from Cruise Critic as I did not want to have to wait weeks for a reply as you are finding it difficult to answer the questions posted on your blog. My son and his new wife will be getting on the Valor on Sunday March 21st and I need a table for 2 for them. They will be in cabin 6386. I think it would be nice if you could send them some champagne as well. May I suggest that if you keep your blogs shorter you would get through more questions? Blogs are supposed to be short. Just a thought.
Thank you for the table and gift.
ColinJohn Says:
Hello Colin RedwoodI still wonder who keeps putting my e-mail address on the cruise boards. Oh well. As you can see Colin I have replied via the blog thingy as I don’t want to start getting into the e-mail replies as time just does not allow for this. I have contacted the ship and asked them to hold a table for your son and daughter in law and I will send them a bottle of champagne as you requested.
I am sure they will have a great time.
Best wishes
JohnBeth Flynn Asked:
John, Please ReplyI used to travel a lot when my son was a baby. I worked internationally and took him with me (with a nanny of course). I found that a little Benadryl and allowing them to either nurse or give a bottle during take offs and landings was very helpful. I hope it amounts to nothing and you worry for naught.
This year in August we cruise with 2 different groups back to back. The old folks on the first week and the youngsters (40 something’s) on the second week. Can’t wait, but I wish you were to be our CD. Oh well, it will be a blast no matter what. Next year we are discussing a girl’s only cruise and I really want it to be with you. Any idea yet where you might be in spring 2011???? LOL
John Says:
Hello BethHeidi will be writing about her flight home with Kye later this week but I think she took some of the advice you gave in your posting although…….she had a complete **** sitting behind her. She will explain.
I will be on the new Carnival Magic in 2011. Which ship do you have your back to back on?
Please let me know if I can help you in any way.
Best wishes
JohnWayne Asked:
John you are by far the funniest cruise director I have ever seen, and Carnival has the best pizza crust. My question is this, how does Carnival make their pizza crust? We were on the Imagination last month and the pizza guy told us the ingredients, but it was very late and I’m not sure if it’s correct. Could you please get the receipt for me?
Also we are bringing a small group to sail on the Valor October 31 and we are hoping you will be our cruise director. The last time we saw you was on the first voyage of the Liberty which as you know left out of Rome, Italy.
John Says:
Hello WayneI love the fact that I have been included in a best of list along with a pizza crust. I have just sent an e-mail to the chef here and hopefully he will answer me before this blog thingy is posted. If not I will make sure I post the answer tomorrow. I hope you have some great memories of our time together in Europe on the Carnival Liberty, I certainly do. I won’t be with you on the Carnival Valor though but if you remind me a month before you sail I will send something to your cabin……….maybe pizza!
Oh and here is the message from the Chef.
Hi John,
We get ready made pizza dough where the specifications and given to the vendor from corporate. Although the crusts are pre-made we still have to create the pizzas and all the toppings so it’s an involved procedure of thawing, docking, stretching, docking, brushing and baking in the conveyer ovens.
Kind Regards
RoshanDoes that help?
Thanks again for those wonderfully kind words
Best wishes
JohnTROY I. Asked:
John, reply if you have time.Don’t know if you are aware of this or not but I found out thru a Facebook friend that the researchers at CIOS (Carnival Institute of Syndromes) have discovered a new syndrome called Rectal Cranial Inversion or RCI for short or head up your butt syndrome (street name). It has become the Institutes sole purpose to get the word out that if you know anyone who shows signs of suffering from RCI, they get help immediately, because if not caught early, people suffering this horrible disease will suffer a life full of needless spending and waiting in very long lines. Also, (the researchers just discovered this a week of two ago) and very sadly, these people will also be under the impression that when they book a cruise they will be looking at the ocean, when in reality, they will be looking at nothing of the such. This is a very sad and unfortunate disease; please get the word out immediately to stop the spread.
John Says:
Hello Troy L.It is indeed very important that people suffering from this head to the nearest ER immediately. Treatment is based on the recommendations of Dr. Rammitin and his colleague Dr. Longfinger and includes a cruise on the Carnival Dream and daily helpings of chocolate melting cake. Let’s spread the word mate.
Thanks for the medical update
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today. I am still 3 weeks behind………bugger. Can I take this chance to say a huge thank you to Big Ed and his wonderful wife Pat for their kindness. They were with us last week and as you saw Big Ed was a star and Heidi and I and Kye loved having them with us.
This blog will be 3 years old this week and during its life it has featured interviews with all the industries top executives. In 2008 I featured an interview with Peter Shanks who is now of course President of Cunard. Peter is one of the most respected people in the industry but not only that, he is one of the most genuine and certainly one of the most passionate people I have ever met. His passion for Cunard is only surpassed by passion for a certain film star’s bottom.
Since Peter’s interview he has stayed a true friend to our blog thingy and has taken on the mantel of “our man in London” and given us exclusive access to the world of Cunard. By the way, did you see that stunning photo of the Queen Mary 2 on yesterday’s blog? If not ……….here it is again.
Peter is gearing up for the launch of Queen Elizabeth where no doubt he will once again rub shoulders and shake hands with the rich and tanned and………….who knows………….as is often the case with Cunard ships………….Peter may be bowing before Royalty.
So, how does one of the industry’s top chaps relax……well……let’s find out. Peter ………… over to you.
A beautiful March day in England…………………..
John – what a beautiful weekend in England – so much so that with my responsibilities as your official British Reporter I thought I would share it with you and your bloggers. It does not really have anything to do with cruising at all – other than if your bloggers do decide to join us on the Queen Victoria Round Britain Voyage in July , this little insight into a day in England might tempt them to book.
So how did my day start? Well with a visit to our local butcher of course. We live in a small village and Mr. Turners Butcher is a highlight in our small parade of shops – a dry cleaners, a paper shop, a butcher and a beer and wine shop – well what else do you need. So having dropped of a couple of suits at the dry cleaners, it was into the butchers for a Saturday morning ritual.As I stood in a small line I began to be tempted by the fresh smell of so many beautiful meats and life was going on around me. To my left a young lady was talking with one of the butchers as to whether her baby would arrive this week or next – her first had come two weeks early and she thought that a beautiful T-Bone steak might get things moving. To my right a rather large gentleman who was ordering so much meat I wondered just who he was planning to feed. As the conversation flowed the butcher got onto the subject of pies. Now John – you of all people will have heard of the phrase ‘who ate all the pies’ – well the butcher was asking us was sort of pies might be popular. I suggested ‘Chicken Curry Pies’ – he is on the case and I will be collecting a couple next Saturday.
So then it was my turn to be served. I had my instructions, a fresh chicken to be cut into 8 pieces for a casserole for the family and 4 juicy lamb chops for myself and my daughter as my wife would be out on Monday. The butcher went to work on my order. You know there is just something very special in ordering your meat from a traditional English butcher. As he completed my order I said – ‘You know there is something very satisfying at coming down to the butchers on a Saturday morning’ – he replied in a flash – ‘It’s the hunter gatherer in you sir’. Perfect I thought as I left the butcher – what a marvelous start to the day.
So – after a few more errands – onto the second of my Saturday activities – a game of field hockey. Now your bloggers will be really confused – what on earth is field hockey? No – it is not similar to the ice hockey game – you know the game that Canadians now seem to be better at than Americans. No – field hockey is played on astro turf or grass, 11 a side and has been played in England for many years. In fact, as I write England has just beaten India to reach the finals of the Hockey World Cup- let’s hope. I play in the London Veterans League – and it is a great release of tension on a Saturday morning. Because I have a fairly dangerous s streak in me – I play goalkeeper. So I pull on as much protection as I can, a scary looking helmet and off we go. Well today was a marvelous victory – we played against Wimbledon, beat them 2-0 and in the thick of it I managed to save a penalty flick.
So below is a photo of what I get up to on a Saturday morning – yes I am the one rather foolishly getting in the way of a very hard orange ball. It was a good job we won 2-0 , I have a reputation for getting rather angry if people score against me – so much so that one of my team recently suggested I should go for ‘anger management counseling’ – no chance!
So there you go John, two very English activities in one day – a trip to the local butchers and game of field hockey. That is what we get up to over here. I hope that adds some color to your day. And if you ever want a game – I am sure it can be arranged.
I will be back with a very exciting blog in two weeks. Imagine this – sailing into Cape Town for her maiden call on Queen Mary 2 with a very special guest onboard – none other than Archbishop Desmond Tutu. Can’t wait – and will share the highlights with you.
Best Regards
Peter Shanks
Thanks so much Peter and I am truly excited to experience a Cunard voyage and I know the bloggers who have booked to sail around the UK with me on the Queen Victoria on July 22 are as excited as I am. Maybe others will sail with Heidi, Kye and I and enjoy the Cunard White Star Service and each other’s company. And of course I will be blogging from the ship each and every day so I hope in fact that you will come with me.
Here are today’s very random photos.
I have received other invitations recently as well including ones to attend the naming ceremonies of the Costa Deliziosa and P&O’s Azura. Unfortunately I have had to decline both due to my cruise directing requirements, however I was truly honoured to be asked. I also received this invitation…….which ……..well…..I don’t think I will be going to either.
I think this a trap. I think that Monsieur Jean Claude Nonsoap has read my blog and in the same have invited me just as Joe Pesci’s character was invited to become a “made guy” in Goodfellas………and was then whacked as soon as he walked in the door. So I shall decline this invitation respectfully and be very French…….and runaway…….quickly.
Welcome now to a new feature on the blog thingy. This features Carnival Cruise Lines 344th best comedian Al Ernst…….oh hold on……..scratch that. I have just been informed that we just hired a one-armed comedian juggler so make that Carnival’s 345th best comedian ……..Al Ernst. He spends lots of time on the road and in the air driving and flying to the Carnival ships to entertain Carnival guests with his mundane stories. I asked Al to send me some aspects of his life and so unless you have anything better to do like watch paint dry or re-runs of Petticoat Junction……….here is the first of his reports.
Hey John, back on the road…and the stories and adventures continue…thought you might enjoy this.
Life would be so boring if it all went to plan… the key is not what happens…but how you deal with it.
On my way from Mobile to New Orleans to go from the corporate special event to get on the Carnival Triumph …. A refrigerator fell off the back of a flat bed truck on I-10 Three cars crashed into it and I was far enough back to not to be involved but when going off the road I blew a tire.
Anyway, it closed the Interstate for about an hour…Lots of police and emergency crews …and once I changed the tire, I did not wonder if everyone was OK…I did not care about the damage of the cars…I did not think if I would make it to New Orleans in time for the ship…I thought “boy, that fridge could have held a lot of food…what a waste of a GE Model 24g, a side by side with a optional meat and cheese storage self”.
This brought a real sense of self…when your priorities are in order…you are living the fulfilled life!”
Yes, I made the ship…I always make the ship, as I know that there is chocolate melting cake is on the ship. Ahh…it is good to be motivated.
To find out where Al is going to be performing next so you can make sure you are somewhere far away………………… go to www.alernst.com .
This cruise is one with a very diverse demographic with the younger children, spring breakers, families and retired people so anyone who still believes in Santa, the tooth fairy and that Carnival only carries one typical kind of passenger should come here to my Carnival Dream this cruise. As well as a very mixed demographic we also have some interesting people onboard as well and there have been some rather bizarre incidents as well.
Let’s start with the atrium. We have had an issue with the lighting at the top of the atrium and this has needed to be checked. Therefore from Saturday until yesterday in Cozumel we have closed off the atrium dance floor and rigged netting over the deck 9 ceiling. This was for obvious safety reasons. There was a team of what are called “Sky Hangers” who came on today to do the maintenance and we needed to protect the guests below from anything they may drop. Here are some photos of the netting being rigged.
So, this netting is here to protect our guests and I can understand that some may wonder what it’s there…………….some more than others though.
Guest: Mrs. _____ Ref: 846906878A
Cabin: ____ Booking#: _____Added-Changed: 03/08/10 – 03/08/10TRAPEZE SHOW
Guest called the GSD wanting to know when the Trapeze Show would be. GSA said she did not understand and guest then said she had seen nets in the lobby. GSA reported that this was not for a show but for safety.
Her assumption that we would have some high flying Russian trapeze artists in the lobby was not a silly one as I know AIDA does this in their Theatrium as may some other cruise lines as well. I wonder if other guests think the same?
You see that comment is a good one. We did something, we didn’t explain why, guest makes their own assumption. Fair one.
But then there are comments like this that make you go “Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ”
Guest: Mrs. ———Ref: 836071826A
Cabin: Booking#: ____ Added-Changed: 03/08/10 – 03/08/10Champagne at Art Auction Was Not Good
Guest came to the GSD very intoxicated saying that the free champagne served at the Art Auction was not real champagne. Guest said that it was sparkling wine and that she had given up her chair in the sun to go and that now someone else had taken it. Guest was very loud and had to be asked not to shout. Guest then started to laugh very loudly and had to support herself on the counter not to fall. GSA called security who escorted Mrs. ______ to her cabin
Well, the champagne may very well be Moet Crapdon but it certainly did the trick on her didn’t it. You have to feel for the guest services folks. They really are the front line and every now and then they get silly people like this. Being on the night shift for police, nurses, and firefighters is probably I would think the toughest shift of them all and that’s the same for the guest services people on our ships as well. They expect to meet people who are really ummmmm………..happy……….but it’s strange to meet a guest so ummmm ……… happy…………at 4 pm.
As you may know, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol for 14 years now. When I did drink it was usually beer. That’s English beer……..dark……and warm. In fact and please except my apologies if I offend anyone here either with the reference I am about to write of the hint of the language contained therein……to me and my mates American beer and the like was not beer. We used to say that “drinking lite beer was like having rumpy pumpy in a canoe……….fu**ing close to water”…………sorry.
But I also enjoyed a glass of cognac and just as our happy lady above…….I loved a glass of champagne. And more than beer, cognac or any other drink……it was the bubbly stuff that got me happy.
It has been my belief and that’s a belief based on 22 years on ships that there are three types of people who have lots to drink……. the happy, the sad and the ones who will smash your face so hard with your fist that when you wake you will look like a cross between Judge Judy and Ernest Borgnine……. if you look at them a bit funny by the Lido Deck pizzeria.
I’m pleased and very grateful to say that, bar a couple of unfortunate champagne related incidents which involved me and the French Police, I used to belong to category one.
I only don’t drink now because of the job and when you don’t drink for months onboard a ship…….you can’t be bothered to drink at all……I did used to enjoy it though. Not in the Mel Gibson kind of way but like the gift of being able to look at the Norwegian Epic without vomiting.
I can understand why champagne is so popular though. I mean good champagne ……… Cristal, Krug, Mad Dog 20/20 etc.
I never smoked cigarettes or did drugs and now my only vice is a good cigar…….oh and Megan Fox’s bottom of course. People who remember me when I used to drink say I was more fun to be with and maybe they are right. Without the wonderful qualities of booze, I would probably never have had my photo taken by the ships bell on the Carnival Ecstasy …………naked…………..and never put cling film over Captain Fonari’s toilet.
Well, it’s a beautiful day but windy and that wind has buggered our call to Roatan. The captain just called me and because of high winds we have been forced to cancel our call to Roatan today as has the Princess ship behind us as well. There is a very narrow passage into Mahogany Bay and the shipwrecks on either side of the entrance show how dangerous it can be. Nothing………nothing is more important than the safety of the ship and the people onboard and that’s why we will now have a day at sea and head to Belize.
Well, it’s now just after 12:10 pm and I just did my Morning Show. The guests seem to be understanding although I do have three cabins meeting me at 2 pm in the lobby ……… whom I am told by the Guest Services Desk are very upset. So, I will let you know what they had to say tomorrow although I think I can probably guess…………..can’t you?
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Hello John,
I know how to safely get rid of moles. You need to kill the grubs in your lawn. The moles are there to eat the grubs. Treat your lawn with bacillus thurginus (?SP) also called BT at the lawn and garden store. It is not as fast as pesticides (like diazinon) but safe around pets and children. I hope this helps.
Kathy
Nicola (McCormick)
Here is a link to Carnival’s cancellation policy.
http://www.carnival.com/CMS/FAQs/cancellation_policy.aspx
BIG ED
My husband and I sailed with you on Dream last week and I want to say that I have never laughed so much. You were such a hoot and have a great sense of humor. I was hoping to meet you, but didn’t seem to see you after any of the events you were hosting that we made it to. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to meet you, but I did want you to know that you made me laugh.
Thank you.
Cheryl R.
John,
Please accept my apologies for not congratulating you yesterday for 3 years of blogging! 3 years of great stories, great pictures and wonderful entertainment! Keep the blog going in the direction you know works!!!!
Gary
John:
Spray undiluted Castor Oil. It isn’t poisonious…won’t hurt the environment….won’t hurt Kye or other animals. Moles just can’t stand the stuff.
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Host Mach:
Would you please purge John’s email information from the Cruise Critic forum? And anyone who posts it again should be REMOVED from Cruise Critic FOREVER!
Linda (Mom of DJ)
Linda, I’ve done search after search for John’s email address and deleted every reference to it. In fact, it wasn’t posted, it was someone offering it to folks who emailed him. I deleted that, as well.
Hi John,
Please Reply,
John, I am writing to you on behalf of a young man that I know that has always wanted to work on a cruise ship taking care of little ones. Mike is fantastic with kids, I have seen babies crying so loudly that their crying gets to your nerves, but the minute Mike picks them up, they seem to calm right down and start laughing. Currently he is working in a day care for kids from 6 months and up. So my question to you is how would he apply for a job working in Camp Carnival. I personally feel that he would be a great asset to Carnival Cruise lines. He is a very hard worker, and I know this from him helping me when I needed help, so if you could send me the information to pass it along to him, I would greatly appreciate it.
Please Give my love to Heidi and Kye,
From your #1 Bloggy Thinggy Fan,
Kathy M.
When is the trapeze show? OMG… You really need to keep these and put them in a book.
The Molverine saga is well understood, but I bet everyone will have a suggested remedy including chewing gum!! Just remember this: moles eat worms and insects – they do not eat ex-lax, chewing gum, or your neighbor’s old skivvies. The only thing that works are traps that impale them!!! With children and dogs about, those are not very friendly.
Too bad about missing Mahogany Bay today – wondered why the web cam was giving strange pix back. About the ship wrecks in the harbor, there, why is there such conflicting information about them??? I would think that in the development of the facility that someone would have done their homework and hyped up the wreckage. Ah well ……..
Luv the blog and luv reliving my cruise – at least in parts!!!!!!
It was good to hear that Heidi & Kye had a successful flight home…..can hardly wait to hear more about it.
Nice to see a picture of your Personal Assistant…..looking really good too…..does he still do your personal laundry on a daily basis? If not, you might suggest that it would be a nice gesture…..that is, IF he’d like to make it to CD in the next 10-20 years!
Sorry to hear you missed Roatan today…..saw it on CC earlier…….yes, we ALREADY KNOW what the people want to say to you…..blah, blah, blah…..hoping they didn’t stay in their cabins ALL DAY crying like that one lady when we missed San Juan on BC3.
Steve O
So glad to know that Heidi and Kye arrived home safely. Can’t wait to read her post. Well, I am hoping I can help you with your mole issue thingy. My hubby is a golf course superintendent and has to deal with these pesky guys. He says that the moles are going after grub worms. You can’t get rid of the moles until you get rid of the grub worms. He says the only way to get rid of the grubs is to spray an insecticide. The insecticide needs to be sprayed at the right time of the year when the soil temps are just right and it also needs to be watered in. I wish I could tell you it was as easy as sticking a peice of Juicy Fruit gum in the ground like the old wives tale says, but it isn’t. I wish for once that someone could do something for you…if we lived where you call home, I would send the hubs over to fix your problem…I am so sorry that I can’t make that happen; you are always so good to everyone (even when they don’t ask nicely like the bum Colin R above)! However, if you would like more detailed info, please by all means email me and my hubs will be happy to give you more detailed info and answer any questions you have! How’s that for a change?
Onto something else…I know you posted an answer to someone the other day about CCL extending the Christmas Day sailing of the Carnival Dream for two days so we could be on the boat for Christmas. I think this was wonderful!! My family will be on that sailing and even though we had to move some things around we are completely stoked! I am patiently awaiting the CD schedule in hopes that either you or Todd will be the CD.
John what exactly was the problem with the lights on the atrium? I am guessing they were falling? OK The question on from TROY I. is Hillarious! OK so they want to meet you over not going to roatan? UM are you going to turn the ship around and say ok we’ll go?
Big Fans as Allways,
Frank and Bridie
Dear John: don’t ever let anyone tell you that you were funnier when you were drinking. I for one don’t drink because of many reasons and one of them is that I now like to remember the good, fun times I have had rather than not remember at all. Love the QM2! What a beautiful stern she has! LOL! A LOT nicer looking than the Behemoth of the Seas. When we saw her pull out of port last month while we were on the Dream, the OOTS reminded me of a cracker box that was top heavy. Oh, well, to each his own!!
Keep up the great work you and your team do as most of us truly do appreciate it so very much!!
Hi John
I have a family of six and i booked two 3 person ocean view rooms on the Dream leaving on July 31. I wont know my room number until a week or so before we leave . This is my first cruise with my family and we have four young children and i would like to know what is the best way that i can go about getting the room close to each other?
Thank you so much.
John, I am old and am having trouble reading the gold letters used for the letters. Can you change it to a better color for us oldies?’
my word john. colin redwood is a jerk! wow. you sure were nicer than i could have been. i think you should warn the poor people that will be taking care of his spawn. i know you shouldn’t say anything if you can’t say anything nice. i’ll do that when colin thanks you nicely. the part about keeping the blogs shorter so you can do more favors for people asking for free stuff??? it YOUR blog. colin, get your own blog and it can be as short as you freaking want. jerk.
sorry john. couldn’t help myself.
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
I couldn’t agree more! John, I can’t help thinking that people who come to you with these ignorant demands (like New York Sam) , without manners, do not deserve your assistance – can’t you say no to these people?
I too agree, How rude sheesh!!!
I agree…MR. Redwood is a very rude man! I would never demand anything like that…HOW RUDE!!
Ahhh…Peter Shanks. Any chance he will be invited to the inaugural ceremonies of Carnival Magic? So that he can race Gerry Cahill on the racing slides…and try out the twister slides? And while we are at it, when you are on Queen Victoria, why not invite the cruise director to the Carnival Magic…to try out the slides? Maybe you and Gerry could challenge them as a team…Carolyn
Dear John;
My sympathy to you because of your moles. We have the California version, gophers…..and ours have mutated as well. I watched in horror one day as a bugger as big as a rabbit, came up looked around and bit a pansy off at the ground and pulled the whole plant in after him. My husband who does the gardening has launched a full scale war, we too tried the sonic crap, the gas crap, the shovel, cat do-do and traps. We found a black plastic tunnel thingy with a noose inside to work as well as old fashioned wire traps to impale.
We caught nine, yes, nine. But alas, they mutated again and they are mad at us. The flower bed is a mess. I don’t know if we have more flowers or traps. This one is HUGE and I swear is flipping me off every morning…I NEED A CRUISE….
Love to all from Encinitas, CA—-Mary & Gary
Well how “bloody” demanding of Colin to ask for gifts and then tell you how to do your job. “Sod off” Colin. And buy your kids some champagne yourself, the Bon Voyage dept can help you out with that.
yes, here here. As commented above. How dare people be so rude and demanding – they do not deserve any favours, manners maketh the man etc. etc.
John,
Good luck tomorrow with your “meetings.” I could never do your job, as I have very low tolerance for rude and ignorant people.
Speaking of…what ever happened to Jamie’s “encounter” last week?
Laura
Hi John,
As far as your guests who are upset about not being able to dock at Roatan yesterday, perhaps you should refer them to God, for as accomodating as the Carnival staff tries to be, even you cannot control the weather. My family and I were on the Dream with you Feb 13-20th and I just want to tell you what a great time we had. John, you made our cruise with your wit and humor (spelled correctly). We’ll never forget the guy from Indian Head and are still laughing about Dick Little (although I’m guessing that one was staged). We’re looking to book again next April and hope we can get as lucky to have you for our CD again!!
John, Thank you for your reply. We will all be on the Liberty from August 21st through September 4th and I am anxiously awaiting the CD schedule for that time. Of course you promise to make the weather perfect right?
I cant wait to hear about Heidi’s trip home with Kye. Although I do miss having a job where I could take my son with me, he is now almost 10 and stays as far away from me as he can get (but only when his friends are around ) LOL
For the girls only cruise, I am looking into the Magic for 2011 as I would love to share you with my sisters and best friends (that didnt come out right, did it?)
Hi John -
Great blog today … though I thought Colin R was way out of line asking you to provide champagne for his son and new daughter-in-law. Let Colin ante up for the bottle of champagne!
Anyway, here is the review that you requested when we spoke a few weeks ago during one of your afternoon shows:
Embarkation in Port Canaveral was soooo smooth. Carnival really knows what they’re doing to be able to process 4000 people with such ease. Once we were onboard my 16 year old son and I signed up on the Fun Hub and then toured the ship, while my wife and niece found chairs on Lido to lounge in (enjoying their virgin Pina Coladas).
Having the lifeboat drill in the Encore lounge was easy, comfortable, and less chaotic than previous cruises; great idea Carnival!
Dined in the Crimson dining room every night. Outstanding wait staff … Iwayan (assistant from Indonesia) and Rafaela, (head waitress from Bulgaria). I cannot say enough kind words about these two. Cordial and professional, personal and fun to chat with. They are the epitome of Carnival. We’ve had some really good wait staff over the years, but this dynamic duo was the best ever!
The mini-golf course was a lot of fun; better than many courses on shore. We were hoping to enter a mini-golf tournament but we never saw one listed in the Capers.
My son really enjoyed ClubO2. He made several new friends, and he thought the director (Megan) was pretty funny. I got to meet Megan (and Nataliya, the Circle C director) during an 18 hole round of mini-golf one afternoon. She was really nice, and the teens really seemed to like her.
The night shows are fantastic. Dancin’ in the Streets – there are no words to adequately describe just how phenomenal this show is. I was looking forward to it more than any other show, and it did not disappoint. Fortunately I knew the lounge was going to fill up quickly for this show, so we got there an hour before the show started. Great seats, outstanding show. Don’t miss it!
The food was great, as usual. Love the Pasta Bar, Burrito Bar, and the Mongolian Wok. Typically, on previous cruises, I’d use the dining room for lunch, but with these great choices there was plenty of variety, excellent service, and wonderful food. I read about “long lines”. Never experienced it, but perhaps it’s because I didn’t go to these places at 12:00 (noon). I waited until between 1:30 and 2:30 and usually was able to walk right up and order. (It only makes sense that at peak times you should expect some lines).
This cruise, more than any other, Carnival seemed to do their best to minimize cigarette smoke for us non-smokers. I appreciate Carnival’s policy in the casino, which states that smoking is only allowed at designated tables, and you must be playing if you’re going to smoke. This is meant to stop casual observers from puffing. The only problem is I don’t think it was a well-known rule. Perhaps going forward it can be emphasized a little more, but then again some smokers are not going to follow the rules whether they know about them or not. Kudos to Carnival for at least trying.
Regarding ports of call:
Cozumel is nice (swam with the dolphins). Lots of choices at this fun port.
Roatan is gorgeous; great port, beautiful beaches.
Belize is okay … snorkeled at the great barrier reef; fun but not a “wow” excursion. Later in the day we took the tender to shore. My recommendation to anyone going to Belize is to do a shore excursion because if you simply take the tender inland, there’s really not much to do or see in there, and you’ll likely be disappointed.
Costa Maya is so laid back. Go to the Cat’s Meow (restaurant right on the beach). The place looks like the setting in a Corona commercial. Love it there.
I read A LOT of reviews on Cruise Critic regarding a certain unpleasant “scent”. Glad to report that there were no such issues. The only scent on Lido was the delectable burgers being grilled not too far from the pool.
Serenity area is such a great idea … the chairs are so comfortable. Very popular area, too. Sometimes a bit challenging to find a chair because so many adults love it up there. I found it nice to be there during the day, but also a great place to be at night if you just want some quiet time. Also enjoyed walking the Lanai on deck 5. So nice to be able to walk the entire perimeter of the ship.
I know Carnival places a strong emphasis on passengers filling out the comment cards. May I suggest they make (cruise specific) comment cards available online, allowing us to fill them out after we return home. To prevent your competitors from hacking in and filling out bogus comment cards, they could require a cruise confirmation number in order to submit the comment card. It sure would be easier to point and click, rather than filling in all the circles. Plus we’d have more room for commentary (there were so many great workers to give kudos to this year it was hard to fit them all on one comment card!). And because it’s electronic it would allow Carnival to sort, slice and dice the info many different ways.
The Dream is a dream. She is a beautiful ship with a wonderful crew. And now we’re looking forward to cruising the Southern Caribbean on the Miracle. And we’re bringing friends so it will be even more fun.
Carnival is a unbeatable value, and is by far our favorite way to vacation. Thanks to you and the entire Carnival family, we will continue to make memories to last a lifetime.
MJ
MJ,
That is a fantastic idea about comment cards online! I would love to see that implemented!
Julie
John, Good Luck, with those **** moles. I am going to forward this story to my brother, Mike, here on Long Island. He is having similar problems with moles. This story is absolutely hysterical. Thanks, for letting us laugh, even if it is at your own expense.
You were our CD on the Triumph in 04. You have been our most memorable CD, since. We are cruising on the Miracle on July 26th with family and friends. We have 10 cabins booked. How about returning to NYC and sailing with us. We even have some family from the UK coming to sail with us. You would fit right in.
Thanks for the memories!
…and good luck with the moles!
Sincerely, Dayna Byrne
How about returning to NYC and
Dear John ( Please reply )
Hope you enjoyed your visit with Heidi and Kye and that it will somewhat hold you until you are home with them again this summer.
I am writing to thank you for asking Carlos from the Care team to look into our quiry and even though we did not get the result that we were looking for, I just wanted to thank you for your efforts and also to let those reading the blog, that your customer service goes beyond setting up table arrangements and sending gifts for people who ask for them.
As always, I enjoy your blog and look for another Carnival cruise later this year.
Mary
John the more I think About it… Why do I picture you as Carl Spackler..Bill Murrays character from Caddy Shack chasing that gopher er mole in your case around the golf course..
Big Fans As Allways,
Frank and Bridie
Dear John
I recently sailed on the Carnival Dream last week ..Feb 27/10 until March 6th…Even though the weather wasn’t the greatest the first couple of days and last two days ..I cannot empathize enough what a great experience I had. This is my second cruise with Carnival and to be honest, I don’t think a could ever sail with any other cruise line..I love the environment, the food , the staff…and you of course ha ha! Whenever I missed a show of yours I would end up watching it on the television in the cabin before I went to sleep!!
Also I want to mention how impressed I am with the staff ..each and every one of them are hard working, friendly and just made me have a wonderful experience throughout the cruise….They deserve my respect and a BIG THANK YOU to them all.
Since I made friendships with some…do you have any idea how i can get in touch with them? via email…facebook…etc ! Even though they might not be able to , I still have hope..
I would really appreciate your help
Thanks for everything
Claudia
(Toronto, Canada)
Been following along with the good times John. Glad to see that you so enjoyed the time with the family.
Excitement building for upcoming cruise with my grandons Brandon 15 and Matthew 12 aboard Glory on April 4. Recently accepted upsell to suite 7228 from standard balcony as the deal was just too good to pass up. This will be second cruise for Brandon and first for Matthew. Did the Valor in 2008 with Brandon (Matthew didnt want to leave mommy at that time!)
Both of the boys are on traveling baseball teams and in training right now. Wondering if any of the islands we are stopping at have batting cages or perhaps formal teams of kids that I could have the boys meet. Do you have any contacts regarding this?
Also, if possible, could you perhaps send a personalized note to the boys to be delivered to the cabin….and maybe baseball shaped chocolates! LOL!
A few folks on Cruise Critic have made mention of our Carnival Dream missing the call at Roatan. The vast majority understand why this was necessary but there’s always a few who believe the laws of physics should be suspended to make their vacation special. As you would say… bugger.
Please tell our good friend Al that I can’t wait to sail with him again. Perhaps on the next Blogger’s? Speaking of that… when do we get the news?
Please pass along best wishes from Stitch and me to Heidi and Kye.
Ciao!!!
Host Mach
John,
I just wanted to say I did a B2B on the Carnival Destiny when she came out of dry dock. Can I just say how wonderful the crew was! First there was Gary the CD…very funny and a great human being (watch out John, I think he’s after your job). Then my wait staff was great, Adreil, Phantipa, and Tamiptka…ok, spelling isn’t my best trait, but let me tell you after the first night I always had a Diet Coke within a minute of sitting down, my mom and dad drink hot tea with dinner and their tea cups were on the table every night waiting for them, I could go on and on…but little things like that means so much! I put all this on my comment card, (with the names spelled right) but everybody went above and beyond so I wanted to let you know. Gary had a very hard time when he had to announce the night before that we would have to miss a port due to bad weather and it would not be safe to tender. Now he made this announcement during first dinner and right before the show…but everyone I know of took it in stride. Even though the weather was nice when he made the announcement, we were disappointment but nobody got mad. And boy did the seas get rough the next day. The entertainment staff did everything they could to schedule a fun day at sea for us, and it was a success!
This probably was my mom and dad’s last cruise as they are not in good health, and I would like to say thank you everybody for the great memories I will have the rest of my life!
Hi John,
Just pour concrete over your lawn. No more moles and no more mowing. A win-win.
Regards,
bill
John, It is great to see Al do his thing. We caught up with Al at a favorite Georgia comedy club in Buford Georgia. Al remembered my wife and I and we had a great talk before the show. He is great and an asset to Carnival. Keep up the good work!
Hi John,
About your unwanted garden guests, this is how my father took care of the problem, he was taught this by a friend who worked for the State of California Department of Agriculture. Mix 1 cup Murphy’s Oil, 1/2 cup Cayenne Pepper and 1 oz Castor Oil into a lawn sprayer and spray all over your lawn, then water it really well to get the mixture down into the ground. It is the Cayenne pepper that will get them out of your area. Since you have cats, those killing machines can also hurt your cats, so stay away from them. But I do know that we never had a mole problem after my dad used this technique on them.
John,
For many years now we have had the pleasure of making our cruising arrangements with Pat Braun, one of your dedicated Personal Vacation Planners. No question is too dumb, no tasking to stupid, and for a old guy like me, she is very patient with all my questions. I know folks are prone to tell you when things go bad but never let you know when things go right. Well, this is one of those times when something is right! Also I really enjoy your blog and for those that want you to stick only to cruising stuff well they don’t have to read it. Smooth sailing and following seas.
Hi John!
That was interesting about the netting in the atrium. I had not seen anything like that before, but it makes complete sense. I didn’t realize trapeze shows were so popular onboard
I enjoyed Al’s letter and he has a great sense of humor.
Hope you are having a good day.
Take care!
David
Hello John,
I wanted to write after my return from the fabulous Carnival Liberty, but I fell into a bout of post-cruise depression and just…didn’t. Now that I’m looking forward to my next Carnival cruise, I thought I would send my email to you.
You had a question about the announcements, and I thought they were just fine. They weren’t so loud that they were annoying, but were loud enough to hear…if I turned the TV off, which I did…mostly. Just a quick note about Butch. He’s amazing! I don’t even remember our CD from my first cruise, but I’ll remember Butch, especially Butch as Dolly. Yeah…it’s a sight.
I wrote about getting a table for the two of us by a window, and with your help and that of the Maitre’ D (sorry for the botched spelling) it happened. Thank you very much for this kindness. It was much appreciated.
I can’t think of any weaknesses to report. I still can’t believe I get the vacation I do at the price I pay. It can’t be beat.
Oh…the warm chocolate melting cake. After my first cruise on the Legend (12/07), I was awake at nights thinking about that Warm Chocolate Melting Cake. Well, it would be about like you expecting Megan Fox and getting Judge Judy instead. I tried…every day…for a good one, and only once was it semi-solid. By runny, it was liquid. Maybe it is supposed to be this way. I’ll have to check on my next cruise. I want to go to the Southern Carribean but we’re bringing my nephew and he want’s to swim with the stingrays. Off to Grand Cayman we go.
Oh! Speaking of shore excursions. Thank you and the rest of Carnival for the work you do with the shore excursions. Thanks to the careful planning of the Carnival excursions, we did not experience any of the negative experiences I was preparing myself for. We were picked up right outside the waiting area, brought to the plantation and Dunn’s River Falls, back to the ship seamlessly. It was great!
Thanks again John for all you do, and what Carnival does. It provides a vacation I would not usually be able to afford.
My Sincere Thanks,
Danny Stout
Hey John, You are awfully nice to some very rude people (Colin!!). We recently got back from a cruise (Feb 21-28) on the Carnival Glory and as usual, we had a fantastic time!! I have to say that the Comedy Club is a fantastic addition to the entertainment onboard. We caught 7 of 8 shows ( we didn’t particularly enjoy one comic so only went to one of his shows!) and thought that they really provided another great alternative for evening entertainment and for before and after the main show. Everyone else filling the Ebony Cabaret obviously thought so too…and you didn’t even have to drop the drink price by $1!! I do hope that it goes fleetwide eventually so that I can enjoy the comedy club on all the ships. I also (finally!) got a ship on a stick (my 5th Carnival cruise and I got 2!!!!). My life is complete now. Great entertainment staff on board, especially Sam(antha) and Michelle. Ryan was a perfect cruise director…..just the right amount of PA announcements (some cruise directors go crazy with the PA we’ve found!). We also had to miss a port (Grand Cayman), but most seemed to understand. I think the food on board is even better now than it used to be…..we sure enjoyed all the Oriental options available at lunch! As usual, we felt very pampered on board and can see why the C. Glory won the award for best service! Until our next cruise, we’ll keep enjoying the life through your blog!! Gloria
Hi John,
We sailed last summer on the Freedom, the last week in June with you as CD. This was our first Carnival cruise and we really enjoyed it. We are back this year and we are sailing on the Triumph on June 26th from New Orleans.. with our 2 daughters, a party of four. Can you advise on the process by which we might request a table for four at our late dining.
Thanks in advance, Steve
JOHN!!!! We have moles too! We mix caster Oil and Ivory Liquid Dish Soap(equal parts) with water and spray over the lawn or garden. The moles HATE IT!!!
Chewing gum in their holes works too but has to be spearmint!
Dear John,
I need a cruise!
Could you please arrange for me to win a free cruise for me and my wife Nancy. No……………………………..BUGGERS!
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
Just discovered your blog not so long ago and have been following it since. We cruise Dream on March 20 with our daughters ages 24 & 26. This is their 2nd cruise and my husband and I are on our 6th with 7th booked in Nov. on Splendor. Have heard great things about what a great CD you are and am really looking forward to meeting you. Probably won’t be in person but will for sure catch at the shoes and on the morning show.Also heard about Roatan this a.m. I didn’t think it was a bad thing since it gives you another beautiful day at sea on a cruise that is very busy with ports. We prefer only 3 ports, but wanted to try Dream since it is the newest and biggest of Carnival’s to date. (and we have also never been to FL.). Coming from the great white north Alberta and are hoping for great weather.Can’t wait for the 20th.
John, my wife and I will be joining all the “cruisers” on the Dream, April 10th. This will be our 3rd Carnival cruise and the 1st since we both retired. Looking forward to enjoying all the new, wonderful attributes on the Dream and trying not to over indulge in the dining rooms. I know you won’t be onboard with us for this cruise but a special note from you to my wife, Linda, would be wonderful. Stateroom 8479. Thank you for all the time and effort you invest into making Carnival the “Fun Ships” they are. We can’t imagine being on a stuffy, sophisticated cruise. That wouldn’t be much fun, would it?
Dear John, Please respond
Thank you for your reply to my letter about not getting our Carnival Dream pins. We truly appreciate it and your reponse about Currents. Will someone be contacting me about the pins?
Glad Heidi and Kye are home safely and sorry to hear about their mole problem. Hope someone can get rid of the little (or should i say HUGE ) buggers for you.
Paula
HI, JOHN March 10, 2010
We just returned Saturday, March 6, from the best cruise ever !, the DREAM. On Mon. March 8, we made reservations for the Dream, again, for Sept. 25. Being Platinum members, we’ve experienced many Carnival cruises, plus various others, for a total of 62 cruises. Our daughter and husband are thinking about going with us, hope “you will still be the cruise director then”. (We’ve raved so much about you) What’s the possibility? Also, they want to celebrate their 30th. Anniversary in May 2011, on the new ship, the MAGIC, departing from Spain. Will it be ready for the public by then?
Daughter, Keri-Lynn, also has a suggestion for entertainment that would be different, ever thought about doing a show for ladies only, like the chippendales do? Of course, she wouldn’t want to leave her husband out, so how about a show for the guys only, too ? Realizing, cruising is a family oriented vacation, this is only a suggestion, but could it be done in the adult comedy theatre, late at night ?
We talked a lot about the new ideas you had for shows, on the Dream, the X-treme Country, the Dancin’ in the Streets, and the Get Ready, and we, personally can’t omit the Welcome Aboard show, with Dick Little and his wife, Anita Little, (who we are). It was a great way to “get to know your fellow cruisers” .
“Anita” will be celebrating her 80th birthday on March 27, 2010. Nothing is going to keep us “young at heart” folks down. We danced every night, plus sang karaoke. We don’t give these old bones a chance to get lame.
Exhausted and happy, we usually went to bed around one AM. We loved the variety of dancing that was available. We enjoyed all the musicians, particularly, the Blackjacks. We have danced to them before on the Celebration, they are very good, play a nice variety, and are accommodating with requests.
Thank you for the video of the Welcome Aboard show.
Sure hope to see you again, in the near future.
please reply
Hi John! We are cruising on the Valor on 4/25 and are sad you won’t be with us! I was looking forward to meeting you. This will be our first time on the Valor but we’re looking forward to it. We sail in April and October of each year and travel from Los Angeles to Florida to board a Carnival ship to the Caribbean. We wouldn’t spend our two weeks vacation per year any other way. =)
Jessica and Paul Blair
John, I too have the mole infestation and found only 2 things work: the insecticide to kill grubs, put down in early spring and then again in summer, and a chemical worm-type thing that you just stick down in the hole and the mole eats the worm and blows up!!! Luckily it blows up underground and so you don’t see it. But these two things work for me – unfortunately I have to do this every year to keep a lid on them. AARRGGH.
Hello John,
We cruised Hawaii on the Carnival Spirit in October 2008 and had our photos taken so many times, we wondered if we had become famous but developed amnesia. Paparazzi everywhere. Since we found one photo that did not make us look as dreadful as we really look, we bought it. Now our church wants to photgraph us for the church directory, and since the Hawaii portrait doesn’t look half bad, we would like to use it instead of sitting for another ghastly photo. The church says I need permission from Carnival’s photographers. In writing. Can you help us with this? Patricia
JOHN — You and Heidi can easily rid your yard of moles by simply using the amazing “Stinkanator” machine. I have exclusive marketing rights and will give you a special deal. Not only will the moles go but it will also rid you of many unwanted neighbors, relatives and so-called friends. Even though it is very odorous it is harmless to our environment and highly recommended by the Stinking Creek Safe Consumer (scsc) Assn By the way, my friend, thank you so much for the CDs. We wanted to express our appreciation to you and the Carnival team for an absolutely super dream cruise (ship has right name) this past week. My wife Dolores, sister-in-law Jackie, and I had taken this cruise mainly in remembrance of my brother Clyde with whom we had enjoyed Carnival Cruises even though he had been severly paralized by a stroke in 2001. He passed on this last September and we were trying to heal and recapture some of the fun times we shared together. Clyde had a really good sense of humor and from the first night out I do believe he was with us in spirit and laughing all the time especially after you put our birthplace and home “Stinking Creek” Kentucky on the map forever. it was very special how our fellow passengers recognized and appreciated our heritage to make this one cruise we shall never forget. You are indeed a most talented, professional entertainer on every count and we love you for the laughter you shared and gave us throughout the cruise. Heidi and Kye can be very proud of you and thank you again for these very special memories–God speed and keep em laughing–your fans forevermore–Dolores, Jackie, Clyde and Willard (Stinking Creek) Hammons