So last night there was a bit of a domestic issue here on the Carnival Conquest. According to Marvin the hotel director a couple in their thirties had a huge argument which resulted in a 2 am bust up and her throwing all of his belongings out into the corridor and slamming the door in his face. The husband then decided to run up and down the hallway shouting “The woman in cabin **** is a bi***” and suggesting to other males in the area that if they fancied a bit of rumpy pumpy they should knock on his wife’s cabin because apparently she would oblige…….or words to that effect.
Usually alcohol is the cause and effect in such cases but in this case it seemed they were quite sober and after interviewing both guests and with no spare cabins it was decided for their own safety and the peace of mind of the other guests that they should leave the ship today in Montego Bay, Jamaica.
This kind of situation happens now and then on cruise ships around the world. You may remember the incident last year on the Carnival Freedom when a wife fed up with her husband working all the time, even on her cruise vacation, threw his precious laptop overboard. I wonder therefore if these sorts of arguments are relevant at home as well as when they come on vacation or do these arguments intensify due to the confines of what can be a small stateroom? Certainly from my experience it is the couples who have just got together or are in the early years of their relationship who seem to have these intense arguments.
I don’t know the answer to that but I have been thinking that there I need to try and help here and stop these arguments from happening. And so with that in mind here is my pre-cruise test to make sure the partner you are taking your Carnival cruise with is the right person for you. Let’s crack on and start with a test for the ladies to see if he is the perfect cruising partner for you.
1. It’s elegant night and your wife has been getting ready for 3 hours. She finally emerges from the bathroom and asks “Does my arse look big in this dress?”
Do you answer?
a) Yes, it looks like someone has parked their Hummer in your knickers so for the love of god can we go get some lobster.
b) No, I have never seen such a small and cuter bottom as that. I thought Megan Fox was in my cabin
c) If I say “no” you will think I am saying it just so we can get out of this cabin and if I say “yes” you will be grumpy all night long and there will be bugger all chance of any rumpy pumpy. Please may I have a different question?
2. You have been wandering the Carnival Conquest for 15 minutes trying to find the Internet Cafe and realize you are never going to find it without asking for help. Does he say?
a) I am a man. I am not programmed to ask for help. Let’s keep wandering the ship for another 15 minutes because maybe we will find it
b) I am not wrong. I know exactly where I am going. I know this ship like the back of my hand. Oh……..hold on……….why are we in the galley?
c) Darling you look gorgeous in that dress and your arse seems to be getting smaller as we walk. Tell you what, you go buy yourself a ring from the gift shops while I ask that fat English cruise director for directions to the Internet cafe ………..mmmm….I love you to darling.
3. You come back from a wonderful night onboard of great shows, food and fun. You get into bed and realise you have a headache. Does he:
a) Says he feels sorry for you and feeds you little bits of the chocolate mint that Putu the stateroom steward left on your pillow
b) Get his laptop out and Google “rumpy pumpy is a cure for headaches”
c) Tweak your nipples and lick the back of your neck like a rabid Cocker Spaniel until you scream “get off ” which results in the people in the cabin next door calling security.
4. You arrive at the ship and go straight to your stateroom. Does he:
a) Unpack the suitcases for you telling you to go up to the spa and have a massage while he sorts everything out here
b) Says “See you later and buggers off to the sports bar to drink beer and watch the game”
c) Unpacks for you while you have a massage and when you come back you find rose petals on your pillow, champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries, a free gift from John the cruise director and dinner reservations at the Steakhouse. You then realise…….he’s been doing a Tiger Woods and you kick him in the bollocks, throw all his clothes in the corridor and his laptop overboard.
Ok, let’s take a break and come back later with some questions designed to see if she is the right cruising partner for you.
Until then……………time for some questions…………off we go.
Kathy M. Asked:
Hi John, Please Reply.John, you really did not mean that if a person complains about any little thing, Carnival rewards them for this. It would seem that Carnival should be rewarding the passengers who leave compliments instead of rewarding the complainers. I bet that if you stopped rewarding the complainer’s (unless they have a legitimate complaint) you would see many of these stupid ones coming to a stop. Do you realize that Carnival has to add on to our fares to give these baskets or whatever other rewards they give them, onto our fares? I realize that the fruit basket does not cost that much per basket, but when you add them up fleet wide, it is a huge expense that has to come from somewhere and that is from the rest of the passengers’ fares. I say stop rewarding them unless it is a legitimate complaint. Just my opinion.
Give my love to Heidi and Kye
From your #1 Bloggy Thingy fan,
Kathy M.John Says:
Hello Kathy MWe in the cruise industry have in the past been rather casual with what we do when people complain. This heralded the rise of various postings on lots of cruise based websites about how to complain and what you can expect to get when you do. This is in the past though and certainly here at Carnival we have become more strict in what we provide. Now obviously we still make mistakes and situations do arise where we need to make sure that the guest who has legitimate reasons to complain is looked after accordingly. I am also careful in whom I give what so please don’t worry. I can assure you that any compensation we give in whatever form does not affect the cost of your cruise. I appreciate your opinion as always and still hope that one day soon we be able to cruise together.
Best wishes
JohnJohn B Asked:
Please respond.I have a real problem with what is happening. Can you spell corporate GREED. I can.
Whether the suits at the home office realize it or not, we are still in some pretty rugged economic times. Are they losing money as a corporation? I don’t think so. They simply want to increase the corporate coffers. No real problem with this other than their inability to say that is what they are doing.
I dare say the majority of Carnival’s demographic base are hard scrabble blue collar workers. If they are employed they can afford to cruise on occasion. They choose Carnival form many positive reasons, amongst which is the money saving aspect of the product. Yet Carnival pokes them in the eye and says “bugger off,” give us more.
Can you legitimately defend this corporate greed? I don’t think so. Look, John, I truly appreciate your blog and all the good you do for the corporation and understand that you must “toe” the company line. I seriously do. It just would be good to know why you legitimately think this is a good thing.
Thank you.John Says:
Hello John BThanks for your sharing your passion mate which as you know I encourage here on the blog thingy at all times. I am not sure in this case as to what it is that has you so fired up. I can only think it is in reference to the price increase we launched on March 22. If that is the case let me give you my honest thoughts on that.
First of all this is my blog and I hope you have seen that I write about everything, warts and all. I certainly have never been asked by anyone in a suit of with a beard to “toe the company line.” However, I can see how that might be an assumption that readers may make.
Secondly and with regard to the price increase I want to say this: There were indeed tough economic times in our past and who knows what the future will bring. But, during those times I was onboard the ships and saw the ships sailing full and the guests having fun and doing so for unbelievable prices. Now, I know nothing about how Carnival structures their cruise ticket cost for all the many different cruises we offer. But I do know that we are the affordable cruise line and even with these price increases it seems that compared to others we most definitely still are.
Now do I agree with everything? No. For example I think we should have found a way to offer the pins to every guest not just our Platinum ones. But that was a decision Carnival made but there were very few others.
I also want to say that I think it was good of the bearded ones to give plenty of public notice that we were doing this to allow everyone to book at the previous prices. By the way, I was speaking to someone last night who just booked an 8-day cruise on the Carnival Freedom for $459……….. not bad, eh?
So, that’s my opinion on the whole thing and if you cut out all my waffle, the bottom line is that the Carnival product is still, even with the price increases, the best value for money vacation in the world.
John, if you have a follow up to this or if I read your comments incorrectly please let me know.
Best wishes
JohnSusan Myers Asked:
Hello John: (please reply)I have been enjoying your blog for the last year but this is the first time I’ve written. I love your stories about the guest’s you encounter and their “issues”. Having worked myself in the hospitality industry for twenty years, nothing surprises me anymore, but I do get a chuckle out of it. I also love hearing about Heidi & Kye. I wish I was sailing with you this year, but alas, it is not so.
I do have some questions that I hope you can help me with. My husband, son (10) and I will be aboard the Carnival Glory’s April 4, 2010 sailing and it will also be my husband’s birthday on April 10th. I would like to book the steakhouse for dinner one night, but would prefer not to do that on the elegant nights. Do you have a suggestion as to which night would be best? Also, are (well-behaved) children allowed in the Steakhouse?
I would also like to order a cake to be delivered to dinner on his birthday. We are scheduled for Your Time dining. Before I do, I would just like to make sure that is possible because we will not be seated at the same table each day?
I am trying to make this a special vacation for both my husband and son because it has been a rough couple of weeks with my husband’s mother passing away two weeks ago. Any other suggestions that you have to make this an even more wonderful, very-needed vacation would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you in advance for your response and I hope to be able to cruise with you one day soon. Thanks also for keeping me laughing!
Sue Myers
John Says:
Hello Sue MyersThanks so much for taking the time to post your first comment and I am happy to read that you have been enjoying the blog thingy so much. I know you will be very excited about your Carnival Glory cruise and I would suggest that you enjoy the Steakhouse on the third or fourth evening of the cruise. This will avoid you clashing with elegant night and allow you to have something truly special in the middle of the cruise. Of course your children can eat there as well.
I will though mention that there is no childrens menu there so please keep that in mind. The cake for the birthday surprise should be ordered through the Celebrations shop on Promenade Deck 5 forward. Just tell the young lady there roughly what time you will be eating and what night you want it delivered and it will be done. The waiters will also sing their special version of Happy Birthday. I know you will have fun all together and make sure you see all the shows …. especially the magic show and your husband can expect a birthday gift from me as well.
Have a wonderful time and my sympathies at the loss of your husband’s dear mother.
Best wishes to all
JohnJo ann Asked:
URGENT – PLEASE REPLY!!!!!!Hi, John — we were lucky enuf to meet you on the Carnival Dream a couple of weeks ago and it was suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch fun. Anyhow, asking for help right now. We are sailing on Carnival Freedom in October 2010, going to Panama Canal. I remember a few months ago, you wrote a blog telling about an excursion Carnival has for the Panama Canal. I do not know how to search for this blog and am now quite interested in your recommendation. I’m thinking Carnival offered one during which you could actually board a craft and go through the canal. Am I correct or am I hallucinating??? Could you or one of your million Stephanies please help me out? We want to make a reservation for an excursion ASAP so as not to be disappointed and have it sold out. Thanks in advance!!! Love to Kye and Heidi!
John Says:
Hello Jo AnnIt was great to meet you to and I am glad you have found this blog. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to reply to this but let me tell you that yes, we do have such an excursion. Here are the details.
Take this incredible excursion and witness the wonders of the Panama Canal.
On this excursion you will:
• Arrive at the Colon 2000 terminal and board a bus to the Transismic Highway through the city colon to the Balboa Pier at the Pacific Coast.
• Board a large ferry that will transport you through part of the Panama Canal.
• View this great accomplishment from open areas on board the ferry.
• Go through the Miraflores Locks and Lake.
• Pass through the Pedro Miguel locks and onto Gaillard Cut.
• Cross the Continental Divide.
• Enjoy the ecological wonders of the area.
• Travel to the city of Gamboa and the dredging division of the Canal.
• See the largest floating crane.You can book this online or when you get onboard the Carnival Freedom. Here is the link thingy
Best wishes
JohnTracy Van Der Voort Asked:
Hi JohnI have a couple questions. First we are taking our daughter on the Carnival Spirit April 23-May 5, 2010 (Hawaii to Vancouver) to celebrate her graduation. Just wondering why Carnival does not sell graduation decorations or cakes and stuff through the bon Voyage department? I would have loved to order some stuff for her to make it special, but looks like I will have to pack stuff in my suitcase and fly it to the ship with me.
My second question is: A group of my friends and I will be on the Carnival Splendor for the Oct. 31- Nov. 7, 2010 sailing. When will Carnival announce if they are doing anything for Halloween? I was wondering if there will be a costume party and if so what night? Will it be one of our elegant nights? Would like to know this so we know what to pack? This cruise should turn out to be a great cruise as there are a few of us celebrating our birthdays on the cruise.
Thanks for any info you can give me.
TracyJohn Says:
Hello Tracy Van De Voort – good Dutch name by the wayYou ask a very good question by the way and having seen so many graduates on spring break over the years it would seem that we have missed out here. I will suggest this to Carol who is in charge of our Bon Voyage department; it’s a great idea. How wonderful that you are spending this quality time with your daughter and I will see if we can send her a little graduation gift.
I can promise you that we will have a huge Halloween celebration as always. This will feature the Haunted House, a big Halloween party and of course a trick or treat session for the younger kids. Tim Cabral is the brilliant chap in charge of this and he will make sure that he sends me all the details nearer the time. It will be fun I promise.
Thanks again for the great idea and best wishes to you and the family.
JohnMark from Alberta Asked:
John Please ReplyCarnival Freedom – B2B January 31st (8 Day Eastern) and February 7th. (6 Day Western)
John please forgive my earlier two emails. The first sent itself minus my review of the Carnival Freedom. The second I sent quickly without realizing the first was sent minus the review…sheesh.
Carnival Freedom is a beautiful Conquest class ship. I have heard comment that her interior is a bit dark. I found her to be “Vegas Classy”. The Millennium atrium, Victoriana Main lounge, International lounge, and the Babylon Casino have great design features and I actually said “wow” when I saw these rooms.
Felipé Couto (a Portuguese speaking Ricky Ricardo) did an admirable job as CD! “Woo Hoo!” That was his iconic call to fun to which the crowd would respond with woo hoo! There are some that did not appreciate his woo hoos and felt to tell us so on our roll call and stated that they remarked such on the comment card. I think they forgot that we were on vacation! WOO HOO! Keep up the good work Felipé! Don’t change!
Jamie Frasier was our ACD and did a great job. He performed one night a collection of big band songs. He is a good looking young man that makes women swoon and young girls giggle. Jamie and Felipé look like they just stepped off a Hollywood set. John are these the Carnival metrosexuals? Encourage Jamie to experiment with 70s music. Demographics are starting to move away from the big band and swing era to my music. Sorry not to offend anyone older than 60 but we seem to be always falling towards marketing to your age group.
Best Show: Don’t miss “A Ticket to Ride” a tribute to the Beatles. Amazing considering the size of the stage. Great choreography, music and production values. Excellent music by the Carnival Freedom Orchestra. John tell Roger Blum that the decision to keep the orchestras on Carnival ships is the correct one. It keeps the shows real and they have soul which the audience feeds off of.
Highlights: Meeting Captain D’Aita on the Behind the Fun tour. I highly recommend this tour. Lots of goodies and lots of information. Carnival provides you with a picture of yourself with the Captain and group pictures on the bridge and at the ship’s bell.
Captain D’Aita is a smaller man but he carries himself that demands respect. He is the Master of the ship. The ten or so minutes we spent with him has made me a fan of him. He knows the sea, and loves his ship. I was overwhelmed with the technical knowledge that he and his crew have for navigation! Watching his crew interact with him you can see the respect and admiration they have him. I think he is amused by Felipé and I am sure the Captain certainly is even a good mentor for a CD too!
The Captain’s Mess you would think would be an ornate affair for the Executive officers of the ship but no. It is a no nonsense smallish room. The captain has his TV opposite of him at the head of the table. His olive oil sits in front of his plate. The Chief Engineer sits opposite at the other head of the table and he too has his own TV and remote!
Fernando our Maiter D’ was great! He was able to provide us a window table for our second cruise on the B2B in the same section as our Head Waiter, Herman. Fernando made every effort to meet all the diners in the Chic (pronounced Sheik) dining room.
Herman was our dashing Head Waiter. His pacing of our courses was impeccable. We were never rushed and each course came at an appropriate time. He never interrupted conversation. At dinner one night, my sister-in law requested her steak rare. Later Herman came back chuckling because he said he had to explain in his Indonesian accented English to the Chinese cooks that rare meant RAW. He said that they didn’t quite understand him when he said medium rare and rare. We were all having steak at our table! The steaks came out perfect as was all food whether it came from the dining room or the buffet line. We didn’t get a chance to go to the Steakhouse which was unfortunate as we did last year on the Liberty.
Things that can be improved: Avoid using the 70’s Disco for the Shopping talk and for the Art Auction. The room has too many pillars and the lounging chairs don’t lend themselves to a comfortable experience.
If there was ever a chance for a small do-over in terms of design, I would suggest Joe Farcus look at replacing the Statue of Liberty sconces on the wall in the Freedom Restaurant. I think it was a good idea but they just look a bit cheesy and eerie.
Nice touch: Hotel Director, Jose Pisa, gave my wife and I as well as the couple we were travelling with a bottles of Champagne and Fruit baskets. Thanks Jose!
There is sooo much more that I could write about. I would highly recommend the Carnival Freedom and would be more than happy to sail with Felipé or Jamie Frasier as CD’s.
Thanks John for the opportunity to share this review. Our next cruise we are contemplating the Carnival Miracle and an itinerary to two ports we are really wanting to see, Aruba and Curaçao!
Mark from Alberta
John Says:
Hello Mark from AlbertaThis is a superb review and before I forget, yes Jamie and Felipe are indeed part of the new metrosexual brigade and need to be smacked around with a frying pan. You review summed up what is so brilliant about our product and what a wonderful crew, led by Captain D’Aita, the ship has been blessed with. I have sent your comments to the ship and the shoreside management and I wanted to congratulate Felipe especially who is definitely one of our rising stars. So, thanks again for this great review and I hope it won’t be too long before we see you onboard a fun for all ship again.
Best wishes
JohnClair Asked:
Hi John, (please reply)To answer your question, yes people complaining in the hopes of getting free stuff happens frequently in the hotel industry. In past careers, I was a Rooms Manager for a major hotel chain as well as “for the mouse” and at both companies we had guests who would complain about anything (not liking the carpet, etc.) all in the hopes of either getting something for free.
My husband and I will be on our Carnival Dream on April 10th (cabin# 8340). I was wondering if you would be able to help us in getting a table for 2 for at dinner. Any assistance is much appreciated!
You tease us about news coming tomorrow morning. Looking forward to whatever it might be.
John Says:
Hello ClairThanks for the words of support and I have asked the Maitre D Pablo on the Carnival Freedom (which strangely has been heavily featured in today’s blog thingy) to help with your dining request. Have a fun cruise.
Best wishes to all
JohnDebbie Boudreaux Asked:
Hi John! Please replyI have been reading your blog thingy off & on for over a year now. Last year my sister & I gave our parents a cruise for their 50th anniversary. We sailed on the Conquest & fell in love with her…that is except for daddy. He had a sinus infection & was kinda a stick in the mud. So we were SHOCKED when he suggested we cruise again.(Woo Hoo!!) So we booked the Conquest again, even the same cabins we had last year. In choosing our cruise dates, we had to make sure it was before Mahaw season, as Daddy has 300 trees to tend to. So, long story (isn’t it) short, we chose March 28, and if I read the cruise director list correctly, you will be our cruise director? (I am so excited!!)If so, I think I can twist Mamas arm into furnishing you with a half pint of (award winning) Mayhaw jelly, that is if you are interested.
See ya soon
Debbie BoudreauxJohn Says:
Hello Debbie BourdeauxI am so happy to read that you will be joining me for my first ever time as CD here on the Carnival Conquest. I am already chomping at the bit to get going and I promise you lots of fun. Please drop me a note at the Guest Services Desk when you arrive with your parents stateroom number would you and maybe a few words of love for them so I can read it at my Morning Show. You might also want to explain what the heck “Mahaw Season” is? Anyway, I would like to send them something so please leave me a “Dear John” letter.
See you soon and best wishes to all.
JohnJeanette Asked:
Please ReplyCanada and Hockey
Hockey is a Canadian sport and we love it as much as love our maple syrup. Our Stanley Cup finals can be much, much, much more intense than any Super bowl game. I remember when my home city’s team was in the playoffs practically everyone (in a city of around a million) was watching the game, me included.
Fighting in hockey has been there forever and ever and will never go away. It is a very fast, energetic game and sometimes some players just **** well deserve to be beaten to a pulp……Usually it is the team enforcers job, or was his job.
I recall one NHL game where there was a bench clearing brawl and the whole arena (15000+) were cheering. I also remember a junior game Canada vs. Russia where a total bench (coach included) brawl broke out (the coaches were trying to pull the players off others to help the referees….50+ players and only three officials, they needed help…I was a teenager and had a full size newspaper spread of that photo on my wall cuz it was one hell of a bench clearing brawl..
Football is much more violent as the whole idea of the game is to prevent the other player of scoring by viciously taking out the player in a hard, high-speed tackle. It also happens the whole length of the game. One or two fist fights in a hockey game arte nothing…most of the times they didn’t even land many good punches….
PS John–booked the Liberty for September with hopes my hot Lithuanian will be on the ship as maitre’d–you know which one…tall bald, and oh my….
John Says:
Hello JeanetteGreat description of hockey and I can understand why it is so popular but fail to understand why such a calm, peaceful country like Canada loves the blood and guts of a hockey game. Your wish for your dream boat maitre d has been noted. I hope your wishes come true.
Best wishes to all
John
That’s all for today and thanks for the large number of comments that are being sent each and every day. They make enjoyable reading and are so very important. Please use this blog to express your opinions and if you need help please let me know.
I know many of you love to keep up with the building of new ships and of course Holland America always allows us such great access behind the scenes in the ship yard. Please have a look at this link thingy which includes 3 great videos of the float out ceremony, the breaking of the champagne and how a New York taxi found its way onboard. Here is the link:
http://www.hollandamericablog.com/nieuwamsterdam/
Well, here we are in Montego Bay, Jamaica and the weather is a beautiful and sunny 84 degrees. Later this morning I will take a walk down the pier and back. I have no logical reason to do this except my wife says it is not healthy to stay onboard and not get off in the ports of call as I have a tendency to do of course. I am also not in the mood either having just listened on line to our Chancellor (Finance Minister) Alistair Darling deliver his budget……..which basically says that the British economy is buggered for another year. Anyway, let’s move away from what that and onto something much, much more blog worthy.
We start with a photo of the stunning lobby here on the Carnival Conquest which I must say along with that on your Carnival Dream is my new favourite. Here it is.
Beautiful isn’t it?
Now, I mentioned that not to many people new mere here as I have never actually sailed out of Galveston and unlike Florida-based ships that I have been able to walk around without too many people recognizing me………which I have to admit has been quite nice. However, that stopped yesterday when I met Ken Madden who is about a nice a guy as you could meet and is the co- owner of the Cruise Planners travel agency based in Searcy, Arkansas.
This week he has 800 families and high school graduation groups sailing across the Carnival fleet including a large group on the Carnival Conquest. Ken and his family are big readers of the blog and told me whenever they have clients come into the office to enquire about a Carnival cruise they play my bedtime story video from 2002 on the Carnival Triumph. Ken made me feel so proud when he told me that I was “their biggest advertising tool for the fun a Carnival cruise can bring.”………..I said, “Bollocks to the fun, where’s my commission?”
Seriously though it is great to know that they are doing this and Ken is one of those guys who truly loves his job, truly loves providing them with the best cruise vacation and that’s why his agency won Carnival’s converted silver award for agency of the year. I was honoured (spelt correctly) to meet them and here I am with some of his group in a photo taken last night in the deck 3 atrium lobby.
Well, it was bound to happen and as always on these handover thingies I officially became bored yesterday. I knew it was time to get on with being a CD when I found myself at the past guest reception yesterday watching myself on that video we play. Four more days to go and that’s it ………….I am never doing a handover ever again. I sign on the ship and start work…….the end!
I know that smoking has been a subject that we have been talking about here on the blog thingy for the last few days and I am going to add my opinion here………..just mine……….not Carnival’s maybe. Having just returned from my Carnival Dream I must admit that I can see why the mostly non-smoking casino has been so popular. It’s not a non-smoking casino here and there is a big difference to the ummmm…..aroma here on the Carnival Conquest’s casino compared to that of your Carnival Dream. And while I think the piano bar has to be one area of entertainment which smokers can enjoy there is no doubt that the outside area of The Lanai is priceless for both non smokers and smokers alike.
OK, let’s get back to our test to see if your partner is the right one to take on a cruise. This time we ask the question “Is your lady the perfect cruise partner? “
1. You are shopping in downtown St. Thomas. She has traipsed you around three jewelry stores. It’s 88 degrees and you are sweating like Tiger Woods after playing 18 holes. Does he see this and say:
a) One more store darling and that’s it I promise. And when you get back to the ship we can have rumpy pumpy and you can spend as much much money as you want in the casino and when you get back to the cabin I will be wearing stockings and suspenders and we can have rumpy pumpy again and………..you can even call me Megan.
b) Oh look. Diamonds International. We have to go there and then oh my goodness they have a Chanel store. I must have a new Chanel dress and you can tell me if my arse looks big in it.
c) Oh darling, you are sweating so much. Well, go and stand with the other men outside the store, hold hands and sing cumbaya. Just give me your credit card first you bastard.
2. You have hired a jeep in Cozumel and are lost. Does she say.
a) Right, I am going to let you drive around aimlessly for another 10 minutes just to satisfy your ego and then we will stop and ask that nice Mexican man where the hell we are shall we?
b) I told you we should have listened to that chubby cruise director with the funny accent and just taken a ship excursion you ignoramus. That’s no rumpy pumpy for you for a month.
c) It’s my fault darling. I should have done better in school in Spanish and map reading. Tell you what, pull over onto that deserted beach and let’s frolic naked in the sand.
3. It’s your birthday. You have said that you don’t want any fuss. Does she:
a) Buy you the penthouse suite on your Carnival Dream.
b) Arrange a Dear John letter of birthday wishes to be read out live on the big screen and then sing Happy Birthday to you naked while handing you a birthday gift….. which is a solid gold plastic trophy from the cruise director.
c) Buy you a book called Why All Men Are Bastards and a DIY DVD collection called “How to Put Shelves Up.”
4. You take your lady to the Steakhouse, buy her flowers from the Celebrations shop and walk around the ship’s open decks under the stars. Does she say:
a) That was a wonderful evening honey. Now as a reward would you like to go to the casino, have rumpy pumpy or both
b) As the dessert arrives she tells you that she has eaten so much that she has a headache and needs to go back to the cabin to lay down and watch America’s Next Top Model.
c) Trust you to take me for a 5 course meal this good that only costs $30 you cheap bastard. And by the way, you ate that entire porterhouse and all the wasabi mashed potato and you say MY arse looks big in this dress you fat sod.
5. You have returned to your cabin after a wonderful night of shows, great food and Carnival style fun. You are in your Carnival Comfort Bed and you start playing with her hair and kissing the back of her neck. Does she
a) Oh you stud muffin………..put the “Snoozing” sign out so Putu doesn’t disturb us. This is going to be the night of your life. Let’s go out on the balcony and have rumpy pumpy ……….but let’s not fall over board like we did on that other cruise line.
b) OK, but hurry up and don’t mess my hair up I just had it done at the Cloud Nine Spa
c) She shouts “Get off me I have a headache” puts on her eye mask and her ear plugs and wraps her cotton burka style pajamas in barbed wire……. turns over and starts snoring.
Goodnight
Your friend
John
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Smokers vs non-smokers…a never ending predicament. There certainly could be better ventilation systems than what are currently on the Carnival ships. As a smoker, I am also slightly bothered by the smoke in the casino. That doesn’t keep me out of the casino however. I do not smoke in the room and only do so in designated areas. What tends to be really annoying is the people who are in the smoking areas busily fanning their faces and making rude remarks. They don’t need to be there so why do they make such a big deal out of some very small areas that are “smoking permitted”?
Miss Lily,
Yes those face fanners in our smoking area get my too. Then there are those non-smokers in the very small smoking area of the Carnival Dream casino that would play at a slot machine or table game while a smoker stood by waiting to play.
BIG Ed
See??? I TOLD you the Carnival Conquest is one gorgeous ship! I’m glad you agree! Now, MORE PICTURES!!
I must be the luckiest man in the world… Stitch is patient with me to a fault. I’ve gotten lost…or temporarily displaced… and she’s never even uttered a word. Not even when I was rummaging through darn near everything looking for my cigar lighter. She was wonderfully gentle when she pointed out that I was holding it in my left hand. Now that, John, is a wonderful woman.
All the best to Heidi and Kye!!!
Ciao!
Host Mach
John,
Not sure if you mixed up letters or there happens to be two “Susan Myers” following your blog who made recent comments. If you only have one Susan Myers than that is not a comment or a request I made. I am thinking that if it was a mixup, the person who made the request will not be getting their answer (they might even see their letter under my name) Lesson learned, either way I will add my middle name to any comments I make as it is not that common at all.
Thanks and love the blog
John, we were on the Dream 3/13 sailing and wanted to say how great of a cruise it was. Everything was A+ except our room. We booked a Spa room and the deck map we looked at it did not appear to be right under the trendmills but it was. Nothing like having THUMP THUMP THUMP right above you from 6am to late. I am a little confused why they would have R&R Spa rooms right under the fitness room. This was a large negative however this was our first one after all these years and will not stop us from continuing to sail on Carnival. Between Camp Carnival for our son and the value for what you get it can’t be beat! Heck if all goes well we will be hitting our 10th carnival cruise at the end of they year. Another thing we loved was the Chef’s table; what a great idea! Anyone who complains about food service needs to sit at the galley table and get a good understanding how it all works and how amazing they get everything out in the manner they do…great job!
Question for you; what is the name of Big Sexy, is he a CD yet and if so what ship. If you both ever cruised together we want to know. We could spend hours with you both and just enjoy the show.
One other question; what happen to the pins? My wife has been collecting them and was upset that the Dream did not offer the pin for the past guests. Our room steward was not sure why they stopped. Can you order them or did they stop it?
Thanks and we will be seeing our Carnival Family soon!
The Green’s
John:
So sorry to hear about the couple that did not know how to behave like adults.
Sadly, adults and children behave on a cruise ship, the way they behave at home.
As for the smoking, Carnival has come a long way.
The designated smoking areas were a brilliant idea, since it is suppose to stop people from walking from venue to venue with a lit cigarette.
If I could tweek the current system, it would be limited smoking to the casino itself on the Fantasy class ships.
Not allowing it at the “casino bar”, which is much to close to the Promenade area, would not only decrease the amount of smoke exposure to children…..but eliminate the danger of them being physically burned.
Since the casino already has a small nonsmoking section, this section would be better situated along the Promenade itself. It does little good to restrict smoking to the casino, when you have children literally walking beside someone sitting in the casino smoking where they can also be burned. I have seen some of the gaming chairs literally IN the Promenade.
The second suggestion to tweeking the system would be to eliminate smoking in the cabins. Carnival announces that smoking is not allowed in the hallways, but this announcement does little good when someone has “smoked up their cabin” so they prop open their cabin door ….flooding the hallway with smoke.
On more than one cruise, we have had to literally walk through a smoky haze to go to and from our cabin. Our Miracle cruise was so bad, it looked like someone was running a fog machine down our hallway the entire 7 days. If Carnival is going to promote itself as being a “family” cruise line, then the health and well being of the children they want to sail with them has to be the priority.
The Dream has come a long way…but it still mystifies me why proper ventilation has not been built into these brand new ships….especially in the piano bar area. In a space that small, there is no such thing as a “smoking” or nonsmoking section.
I have great faith that Carnival will continue to work on this issue….which is why we continue to sail with you !!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Linda,
What’s next your perfume?
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,589433,00.html
BIG ED
Ed:
Yes, perfume will be next WHEN it contains 3,000 toxins….most of which cause cancer.
Sorry, but giving someone a headache and giving someone (especially a child) CANCER…is no comparison.
I will take the inconvenience of perfume over the DEATH of cigarette smoke any day.
Linda (Mom of DJ)
I am Going on The Dream May8th. I will be sober 12 years the 14th and my fiancee has over 30 years. Do they celebrate things like that John? SS i won’t meet you on this cruise but i’m sure Todd is nice also.
My first cruise on Carnival and John’s yes my fiancee has same name lol great name it is its his second.
Also anything for Mother’s Day? Thanks Bunches. Love reading your blogs.
Judy and John
John,
I love your “pre-cruise test”…..I haven’t laughed that hard for quite awhile! You are, as always, BRILLIANT!! Your comments on the Houston arrival last weekend, the “limo” ride, almost? touching cloth, etc. were priceless also!
So glad to hear “slightly ugly/handsome” Craig is still with you on Conquest. I’ve got a great gift from him if he shows up on Fantasy May 8th…..it will help him in determining some the exact types of sounds/odors that emanate from the jolly British CD he’s assisting!!
Your OLD buddy,
Steve O
My wife and 2 kids (7yo and 6yo) will be cruising on the Pride on May 2. This is our first vacation in a long time and we are all looking forward to it. Out last cruise was on the Sensation way back in ’97.
This will be our 15th wedding anniversary and I have having serious trouble thinking of a romantic surprise for my wife. In all of your experience do you have any good ideas?
Dear John
My husband and I will be going on our 10th Carnival cruise on May 8th. We will be cruising on the “Liberty” and celebrating our 10th anniversary. I recently found out that my best friend and her husband are doing the same exact cruise. I don’t want to tell her that we will be on the same cruise because I would love to surprise her. Is there anyway you can have us sit together for dinner? It would be a wonderful surprise when they see us. Our cabin # is 8305. I don’t have their cabin #, but their names are Richard and Elizabeth Abate. Any help will be greatly appreciated.
Happy Cruising,
Nancy
I’m pretty sure that is the most I’ve ever laughed reading a blog. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m assuming rumpy pumpy is the same as the hibidy dibidy. Thanks John.
John,
Thanks for the Chuckle or two, I really enjoyed reading those questions.
To bad about the domestic, I wonder if they took separate flights home. A domestic in the sky is not what anyone wants.
John, sorry for the chilly reception you received in Texas and that was even before you even left the airport. Too bad I do not carry a Blueberry or you could of just emailed me and I would of just came by and picked you up.
Don’t worry about the chilly weather in Texas, won’t do any good to worry about it and it will change very soon. Before your short time on the Carnival Conquest is complete you will be sweating your arse off. You will be looking forward to the 100F and cool breezes of Cozumel.
T
John,
Awesome blog post! I just don’t understand how a couple can have a huge fight like this on a Carnival ship and ruin their vacation. We cherish every moment of ship time and even the anticipation of a cruise is special to us. What a waste, it’ sad.
PLEASE RESPOND
Ha, Ha, Ha, too funny! I just love this blog!!
Would love to meet you someday John. Any chance you will be on the Dream April 10th. As I wrote before, my brother and I will be celebrating our birthdays on this cruise and it would make our trip to meet you!
(please respond)
About the whole complaint thing…
I have seen for myself the sometimes ridiculous things that people complain about, especially working in the service industry. I have seen some really stupid complains while on a ship as well, I don’t know if they were just trying to get something for free or what…
However, I had what I felt was a pretty legitimate complaint while on a Princess Cruise last summer and I don’t think it was handled very well.
Here’s what happened; we were on a shore excursion in Alaska, when one of the guides, who was being very careless, broke my camera. At the end of the tour we spoke to the staff of the excursion about getting some reimbursement for them breaking my personal property, but they were all college kids and had no idea what to do or who to contact with their company (this was also a little worrying, what if something serious had gone wrong?), and they told us to speak to the shore excursion manager on the ship.
The shore excursion manager on the ship told us to talk to the tour operator after the cruise. I didn’t want to wait till then because the tour operator had already told me that I needed to go through the people on the ship and it was just going back and forth.
Eventually, after talking to a lot of people, over a couple of days we did get some compensation, but only for about 60% of the value of the camera, and to even get that I had to give the camera to the shore excursion manager who was very rude.. When we got home I contacted the Princess customer service people at an email that they had given me on the ship. It took several weeks for them to even respond, and when they did it was to say that it would be a few weeks before we got an answer.
It was 3 months after the cruise was over before we finally got a response from them, and it was only to say that they considered the matter resolved since they had already given me some reimbursement.
I feel that they should have reimbursed me for the full value of the camera, and without having to talk to a dozen people, surrendering my camera, or waiting till the end of the cruise to get that. Please tell me that this would have been handled better on Carnival?
Hi John, (please reply)
I know for a while you did have non-smoking ships, however those didn’t go over very well. The sad reality is there are some venues that us non-smokers just cannot visit because of health reasons. I, myself, have Reactive Airway Disease Asthma, which basically means one inspiration of smoke and I can hack a lung up on the floor. It makes me sad that a lot of friends from CC can go spend their evenings in the casinos and piano bar, but with the cloud of smoke it seems like people like me are banned from the fun. Why doesn’t Carnival institute a better ventilation system to help all their guests sailing enjoy all the publicly available entertainment? I sail aboard the Dream in April and I am very excited about the casino. Again, I think I will have either take 20 puffs of my inhalers and be queen of the jitters all night or just skip the piano bar. I don’t even know how those poor buggers sing in that haze all night. Anyways, enough of that, love the blog, read it all the time. Wish you were still on the Dream so I could have finally had you as my CD. But that will have to wait for another cruise. Hope you are having fun on the Conquest.
Tata for now,
Gillian
]
[Spelled the proper way because my mother was born in Manchester
Hi John
The solution for the male traveller at the end of this blog would be to exchange the ‘good night’ chocolate for a packet of aspirin – when she says “What are they for?”, he can lovingly say “They’re for your headache, darling”. If she replies “What headache?”, his reply will obviously be “Gotcha”!
John,
I have to share my cabin for the first week of our B2B in August with my husband’s 86 year old granny and our 10 year old son. Our lack of rumpy pumpy does NOT fall onto my shoulders LOL. My husband is also handicapped and between him and granny, well lets just say that the only arguing we ever do is over who gets to sleep closer to the bathroom. This cannot be helped as granny cannot stay alone anymore (she wanders).
Although my husband might want to take that poor man up on his offer of a cabin and a wife with no extras…..at least for the peace and quiet. I would have given a LOT to witness that discussion about them getting off the ship. OMG!!!
John…we’re looking forward to sailing with you out of Charleston in June!
Hi John!
What a shame about the couple who have to leave the ship. Its sad that they spend all this time and money getting ready for the vacation only to have it crumble.
Thanks for the pre-cruise test.
Hope you have a great day today.
Take care!
David
Dear John,
(Please reply when you have time.)
Thank you so much for taking the time to write this blog, I enjoy reading it on a daily basis.
My husband and I took our very first cruise ever in February of this year. We celebrated our 20th anniversary and our first child free vacation in 15 years.
We sailed on the Carnival Freedom and totally fell inlove with cruising, why didn’t we do this sooner? Filipe our cruise director was very funny and we enjoyed all the entertainment staff. Jaimie Frasier was amazing in his stage performance. We didn’t have a bad moment on the ship, other then maybe not being able to find a deck chair. We loved the food and the dinning staff, or cabin was wonderful.
We enjoyed ourselves so much that we plan on going again the end of 2011 and bringing our children with us. Is there any certain ship that is better suited for children then others? We are a family of five and I’m wondering if it’s better to get a family suite verses two connecting rooms with balconies?
I will be keeping an eye out for your schedule, I would love to try and plan a trip the would put us onboard with you.
Thanks for all that you and the Carnival staff do to make everyone’s vacation special.
Have a great day!
Cyndi
Dear John,
That couple needs to be on the new show the Marriage Ref. Celebrities watch a video of the couple arguing and then sit around and bash them comedy style and make them look like the fools they are. This is suppose to be the person you care the most about. You and Heidi never do that right?
Nancy has passed the pre-cruise questions so where is my free-cruise. We are still planning the family cruise for 2011 so until then keep the pictures coming.
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
Dear Bloggers,
I forgot to mention that I will not be with you all tomorrow as I am off to Lost Wages Nevada. Those poor bastards need people to come there and spend their money so badly that they have sent Nancy & I a free three day complementary stay at the MGM Grand Hotel. The basic rooms normally sell for $485.00 for three nights so since our mothers didn’t raise any foolish children we are off to see the Wizard, and following the yellow brick (Interstate 15) to Oz.
Have a great weekend, I know I will!
The Cruzin2some
James & Nancy Enslow
What a great and funny blog today John. As usual, you are in top form.
As far as smoking goes, it should be very limited. I look forward to being on the Magic where hopefully smoking will be very limited. Since so many people think it is OK to go into the Casino to only smoke as they do not want to go outside for heaven forbid they would get their hair mussed. With the price of a pack of cigarettes and rising, health issues to themselves and to others, the cigarette smell they have on them, you would think they would quit. I guess you just can not fix stupid.
I am glad you are enjoying your time on the Conquest and sailing out of Galveston.
When you have time John, can you please give us an update on the Magic and how it is going.
Keep smiling John, you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
PLEASE RESPOND!!!
I am writing this not to complain, but to tell you what a wonderful experience all of my cruises have been. My husband gave me my first cruise as a Christmas gift in 2007. We started cruising on the Holiday in September ’08 (me, hubby, sis & bro in law). We sailed around Hurricane Gustav that year – as we live in south-central Louisiana we really appreciated that the boat kept everyone updated on its track. We still joke that we “evacuated” to a cruise ship so we should bill FEMA for that cruise. (lol) We sailed again on the Holiday in May 2009 with our 16 yr old daughter, and a third time on the Conquest in September 2009 (just me & hubby). Now we have our 4th booked September 18, 2010 on the Triumph. It seems every cruise there are those few people that are not satified with anything the staff does for them. Then we come back and I read the reviews and wonder if some of these people were even on the same boat as us. I realize you get alot of people complaining about problems. My biggest complaint is that my cruise always ends. If I take a 7 day cruise, it lasts 7 days and then other people get on MY ship!! Is there anything you can do about that? (lol) On a more serious note, I just wanted to take an opportunity to thank you and all the staff, both the ones we have cruised with and the ones that we hope to cruise with eventually. It is always a pleasure. Even when something goes wrong, there is enough going right to make up for it. We go prepared to relax and we always do just that!!! Thanks for all your hard work!!! We look forward to being on a cruise with you someday. Terri…..
John:
Is it possible to have the video website of the Dream reconnected. It seems that i went down after you left. I enjoy the video of the front and the pool
FLA007
John:
One more thing about the smoking issue….
electronic cigarettes (while not perfect) would give the smoker the freedom they want and the nonsmoker the clean air they need.
It seems that Carnival is missing out on an additional revenue source if they required all indoor smoking to be electronic cigarettes only and offer then for sale in the gift shop.
Smokers would still stock up on the regular cigarettes to take home and would by the electronic cigarettes to use on the ship.
Of course, Carnival should make sure that the cost of these electronic cigarettes and their catridges on the ship is a VERY good price…to be fair to the smoker.
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
REMEMBER THE ALAMO
REMEMBER THE MAINE
REMEMBER THE (non-smoking) PARADISE
The Non-Smoking Paradise didn’t work. Carnival has it right already. Non-smokers have 80% of the ship now. Remember it is still legal to sell and smoke cigarettes. Where is the ACLU? Why are they not fighting for the right of the smoking minority. They fight for all the other minorities.
I will use my electronic cigarettes when I’m in your non-smoking area but in my smoking I will be smoking a real cigarette.
BIG Ed
John,
I don’t have a complaint or request, just some praise. My husband and I took our first cruise in May of 2008 on the Conquest to celebrate his graduation from College with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology (at 61 years old), our 11th wedding anniversary, and the 8th anniversary of my husband’s liver transplant. We had so many wonderful things to celebrate and the Conquest was the best way to do it. We both loved the cruise (“Wee Jimmy” was wonderful!) so much that we were hooked and went on another in September of last year (the Holiday out of Mobile, AL), and are booked on the Triumph out of New Orleans for May 1st (36 days from now, but who’s counting?). I have spent a lot of time at the Carnival and Cruise Critic websites and got a lot of valuable information from other people who have cruised many times, but I only started reading your blog about a week ago. I can’t believe I didn’t read it before. I just love it! We are very happy Carnival cruisers and we don’t plan on using any other cruise line in the future.There are many reasons we love Carnival and not the least of which is that you are one of the few cruise lines that has ships going out of ports in the middle of the country (driving distance for us in Arkansas). We also love the prices. Like you said in your blog on March 24th, even after the price increase, you are still the best cruise value around. We love life and enjoy it no matter where we are or what we do, and Carnival is a perfect fit with our lifestyle. Thank you for taking time out of the busy schedule that I know you have, to let us know about the things you and Carnival are doing. I know you get a lot of emails, both positive and negative, but I wanted to make sure you know there are a lot of us that really appreciate what you do every day to make our vacations just a little bit closer to perfect. Thank you.
(Please Reply)
Hi John,
A few weeks ago I posted about travellling with our 10 mos. old son on the Carnival Liberty sailing May 8. You had asked me to reply back with the room number to make sure that a sleeping pen and high chair were arranged. While certainly not necessary, Im sure the staff would have jumped to make it happen if there was an oversight, it is certainly appreciated very much appreciated by my wife and I… and by Joshua are son but he can’t talk yet so I’ll talk for him.
So… our cabin # is 7348, under Paul, Diane and Joshua Ellis.
Anyways, we are absolutely bursting at the seams with anticipation. This will be my wife and mine 4th cruise on Carnival. Our first 3 being on the Valor, we were engaged, married and honeymooned on the first 3 (yes, in that order, haha) and now its our first family cruise.
This time there will be 16 people with us from family and friends who sailed with us on our wedding, and have become Carnival fans for life, just like us. Other friends were asking if we wanted to try another line… my answer, why would I want to see if the grass was greener on the other side of the fence when the grass on my side of the fence is the greenest of greens.
Anyways, that got alot longer than I had wanted, its the sales guy in my blood. So I will say, thank you again for taking the time to make sure our son has a play pen / yard whatever. It certainly takes a load off.
Paul, Diane and Josh
Please reply
Hello John,
In reply to John B.’s remarks about corporate greed, when did it become morally wrong to make a profit?Carnival is not a charity or a government agency, it is a business. It is operation to make a return for it’s shareholders and no other purpose. Businesses that fail to turn a profit are soon out of business. Carnival needes to make enough money to pay its employees, pay for its ships and other equipment, set aside for unexpected expenses and make a profit. Carnival just announced its first dividend in a year of $.10 per share. Yes that’s right, one whole dime for each share. To buy a share today would cost about $39.00. Ten cents for the last year is hardly obcene profits.
I started cruising over twenty years ago. The cost I’m paying now in unadjusted dollars is about even with what I paid then. In adjusted dollars, the price is less than half. Carnival and the other mainstream cruise lines have brought the fares down to a much more affordable level and made them feasible for a far larger section of the population. Carnival should be commended for this and those of us who sail her ships thank the directtors and employees for making it so.
I will be sailing with Carnival in July and on the Carnival Spelndor for New Year’s Eve. I truly think that Carnival provides an excellent product at a reasonable price.
I’ll get off my soap box now.
John thank you for this blog and all of the information you provide. The glimpses into the life of a CD are truly fascinating. I will admit I’m more jelous of you for the lovely wife and child than I am for your job though.
Enjoy
Ron Maurer
Dear John,
(Please respond)
We have just returned from a glorious eight days on the Carnival Spirit (March 11-19). Myself, my husband, our two children and twenty two of our “chosen” and blood families had the best time cruising through Acapulco, Ixtapa/Zihua and Manzanillo. Yeah, our room flooded on the first night, but it wasn’t as bad as the room next door. Guest services handled it promptly and provided me with early tender tickets to Ixtapa/Zihua. So we were grateful for the service. (And having a damp room on a ship is better than a damp room at home, any time!) Everyone we met on the staff was helpful, and that’s saying a lot since we had a tendency to move en masse about the ship. (And no one really complained to us about our impromptu St. Patrick’s Day parade around the Lido deck and into the Empire Room. Sorry if we did get anyone in trouble that day. As the daughter of English citizen, I was forced to participate against my will!)
But all the compliments aside, I do have one tiny, seemingly innocuous question: Why are the performers in the Legends show not allowed to switch genders? My husband is a wonderful karaoke performer. (Ask Taylor. Ask Steve when he used to work on the Liberty in 2008.) And his Elton John performance was fine, but his Madonna would have brought down the house. (Complete with male back-up dancers, he would have been in heaven!) But we were informed that guest performers couldn’t cross dress, although Taylor came out dressed as Cher during the Legends performance. Just wondering why the rule exists and if there is any one in particular I could write to about perhaps having it changed.
Other than that one tiny thing, we all had a wonderful time and have begun planning our next cruise!
Thanks for this blog, sir. I really appreciate the time and expertise you put in on it as well as your millions of other duties.
Sincerely,
Leigh Anne
Dear John (please reply),
My husband and I just recently discovered your blog and have been thoroughly entertained!
I sailed on the Glory in September 2004 and I believe you were our CD. I remember telling eveyone how funny you were, And if I remember right… you almost lost your pants during the “passenger participation” story on the last night. You also had a man who needed to be more romantic with his wife, and you made him get on one knee and profess his love whenever you said his name on the PA system!
Jerry and I are getting ready for our fifth Carnival cruise. (our third together). We will be on the Freedom 7208 on April 18th. We just celebrated our fourth anniversary and this was our present to each other. We love Carnival and are currently counting the days!
I have a couple of questions… How much is the behind the scenes tour on the Freedom and where do you sign up? Also, we fell in love with an artist we found in the art auction on the Glory. His name is Michael Godard and I was wondering if his work would be on the Freedom as well? One final question… if you buy liquor on the ship can you have it shipped to your home. With all the TSA restrictions it is next to impossible to carry bottles home on a plane. I am a huge fan of Sheridans and can only get it on board.
Thanks for all you do and hopefully we will get to sail with you again!
Best Wishes,
Linda Cook
Charlotte, NC
Hi Linda!
We are booked in the same room. I am wondering about the overhang from the bridge overhead. Did it keep your balcony in shade the entire trip?
Thanks!
April
John, I have no complaints, only praise for CCL. I just finished my 21st cruise with CCL, on the Ecstasy (I consider it my vacation home) and I am booked for the Conquest Sept.5th of 2010. I strayed a few times before, but I do deserve the best and I get it with Carnival. Once again we had the best wait staff and steward on board. I am convinced of this each time I cruise. You must have my name somewhere that says “give Peachie the best”…
I am wondering if you are going to be on the Conquest in Sept? This time we are not going to MoBay, we are doing the Key West route. So if you are there, look for a 63 yr old woman with wild hair doing the Duvall Crawl. Oh, I may have to use my blue scooter, so you will recognize me. I am on oxygen, use a scooter and have a wonderful time on each and every cruise with CCL. You certainly know how to treat ‘handicapped’ well. I shudder at that word and I do NOT feel hanicapped on a Carnival Cruise. Each time I board a ship, it’s like the first time. I am a self confessed CCL addict and I do not want treatment, thank you very much.
I wanted to say hello and check your schedu….shedule to see if I finally get to meet you?
Peaches, already looking forward to Sept.
Just returned from 12th cruise on Carnival and discovered a few things that were disappointments
1. No more chocolates on pillow
2. No more $3. tables in casino on 1st night at sea
3. No more $5. tables in casino (min of $10.)
4. Must have at least $5. bet on roulette
5. No more free drinks on Captains Night
But cruise and staff were great!!!!
Bobby,
I was just on the Carnival Dream a month ago and we did get chocolates and there were $5 tables all cruise long.
BIG ED
Hello John, Please Reply
Your test is hilarious and I must say we both passed with flying colors. The birthday question is one of particular interest as my wife will be having a birthday on the first day at sea. We are sailing with you on Carnival Conquest on April 18-25. My wife reads your blog and I’m hoping that since this one is a few days old, she won’t see this post. She is on Cruise Critic a lot and is arranging a meet & greet for that sailing (her actual b-day). We have been on a few Carnival ships before but not on Conquest. Does Carnival have a tour that would take you to the Galley, bridge & other areas of interest? She would absolutely LOVE something like that. We are looking forward to cruising with you and are excited that you will be our CD. We also have a tradition when we sail. We bring a small teddy bear we have named Bo Bo and we give this to a crew member that we feel deserves a little something special. After all, the crew is an essential part of cruising! If you have any other suggestions for my wife’s b-day I would appreciate the info.
Thanks & we’ll see you soon!
I was just on Carnival Pride- and the only thing that made the trip wonderful was Jamie and Eli. I would like to know if I could have the last name of Eli in entertainment on Carnival Pride from March 21-28th out of Baltimore so I could send him a thank you gift and ensure it goes to him. Thank you.
John, please inform me of what the problem seems to be on the Triumph. I am sailing on her for the first time Aug 21st and am very concerned about all the negative posts that have been on the Funville pages lately, Picked the Triumph because I have decided it is easier to drive to the ports (Not to mention less expensive since I have to pay for all those bags) and have done the Ecstasy twice and the Conquest once mainly because I live in Houston and it is so easy. So picked the Triumph for a change and also a chance to spend some time in New Orleans before the cruise. Have also sailed on the Sensation and many years ago the Jubilee. You remember the Jubilee don’t you? Also on a couple of sailings on other cruise lines, I won’t mention the names because I came back to Carnival because they were not as much FUN!!! Now don’t get me wrong I am going on this cruise and no matter what I am going to have Fun and nothing will stop me from that, just wondering if the beards at Carnival have been seeing these same posts as I and is it being addressed? I am going Aft for the first time on this cruise and it will be Fun! Enjoy your time of the Conquest I will be back on this ship soon. Sincerely Jackie Grayson
Hi to all! I have been on a couple cruises myself and have finally convinced my husband and two teenage children to go at Christmas time. It will be their first time. They really wanted to go to Belize, so we are looking at two different ships. The Legend out of Tampa and the Valor out of Miami. We live in Texas but the Conquest doesn’t go to Belize. My daughter is 15 and my son is 14. Which ship would everyone recommend? and since my two kids are close in age, would they be allowed to be in the same kids club?
Thanks!
Hi John,
I can’t believe I just found your blog about a month ago. I love it! We are celebrating our 25th anniversary on May 11 by sailing on the Carnival Dream on the 8th. We’ve been saving for this a long time and have reserved a balcony cabin (7C)! We can’t wait. We love Carnival. We tried the “royal” one three years ago and there is absolutely no comparison. Carnval beats them all the way from the food to Bingo. lol
I feel bad for the squabbling couple but more for the other guests! Mike and I may argue some, but never to that extent. I guess after 25 years, you realize what is important and what mostly isn’t.
Please keep up the good work and I can’t wait to read more. This is my first reply but expect more. I hope to meet you in person someday!
Please reply.
Denise
btw, are there any better pictures or videos on the Cove Balcony? I would like to see more detail. Thanks.
Hey John! It was nice to meet you on the Conquest. We previously had cruised on Disney and a few other smaller vessels, but we were pleasantly surprised with the Carnival cruise. The ship was beautiful and had several impressive activities to entertain us while at sea. We loved the Vegas style entertainment at night after dinner! Our cruise director on this ship, Marcy Marc, kept us laughing the entire time we were there from the morning announcements to the late night entertainment , the Steakhouse had outstandingly wonderful food and ambiance and the staff were excellent. The huge crowd of kids in your blog picture included our family, it was my daughters senior trip and we all tagged along. We’re glad we did, we had a great time! Heading to Alaska next trip……… love your blog :0)
JOHN, WE LOVED THE SHIP AND THE SEARCY GROUP HAD A GREAT TIME.
THANKS FOR THE PICTURE.
KEEP SAILING CARNIVAL…
As a frequent cruiser, and frequent Carnival Corp. Cruise ship customer, I certainly hope your experiment, banning Cigar smoking in Cigar Bar is over.
I do enjoy a Cigar, and look forward to a Cigar and drink during my Cruising Vacations, enough to find other Cruise lines, or if need be, a different type of vacation. I certainly understand, the need to isolate, Cigar, and Cigarette smoke, but to ban it from a Cigar Bar, thats outrageous, especially, when these Cigar Bars are usually empty, before 7:00 PM at night.
Read the thread on Cruise Critic,, the vast majority think this ban is ridiculous, including many non-smokers.