Photos Of Your Holiday

May 12, 2010 -

John Heald

I am never…………..ever……………..going to the gym again.

Good morning. It’s 6:10am and in 45 minutes I have to go to the bridge to organize the tender service here in Grand (hurry up and start building that sodding pier will you) Cayman. The Carnival Fantasy has not been to a port of call that requires a tender service for many years and just between me and you………….everyone’s a little nervous. And so I have put my tender hat on and will run things myself in 30 minutes or so when we start. That just about gives me time to tell you why I made that opening statement.

My diet has been going well and despite that chap on Cruise Critic who said that I was due to die of a massive heart attack any moment (I’m still here mate) I am really happy with my slow but sure weight loss. However, last night I decided to go and walk on the tread mill as my ankles felt really tight……a side effect of diabetes is leg cramps……..so off I went to the gym to do some walking.

It had been a few ummm……..weeks…………or is it months………that I had been to the gym and as usual it was the first few minutes that were the toughest. But once I had settled in at my own pace and with Ritchie Blackmore and the rest of Deep Purple rocking through my headphones I was, if not happy, at least I was proud of myself. And then it all changed because suddenly through the strains of Smoke on the Water I heard a “hissing sound” and looking across I saw a man, with the body of a god (bastard) running on the treadmill next to me using this hissing sound to get my attention.

Tarzan – Hey, you are that guy from TV

Me (still with headphones on) – yes……pant……..pant…….are you having a good time?

Tarzan (running and not panting) – yea…….me and my wifffffeeeee are on our anniversary cruise, we wanna do something romantic in Cozumel. What do you suggest?

Me – Bugger off you rude sod. Can’t you see I am trying to work out and lose this beach ball stomach of mine? Now stop talking to me before I press the emergency stop button on the treadmill and you run your arse straight through the window.

OK, that’s not exactly what I said, it’s what I wanted to say but it came out as “Oh, hold on” and took my headphones off and wound down the treadmill to a slow stop and then went to stand next to Tarzan and started taking him through his options.

This seemed really normal to him. He wasn’t fazed that I too had been working out and that he as a guest had the right to make me stop. He by the way certainly didn’t stop and just kept running. When I had finished explaining his excursion options (which by the way he seemed to like the thought of Zip Lining which was quite applicable since I was calling him Tarzan) he sort of nodded his thanks, turned away and carried on running.

Well, that was the end of my workout. I had managed 10 minutes, just under one mile and I know I should have gotten back on but my heart was now no longer in it and I started walking out of the gym.

Tarzan though was only the appetizer……….the main course was just around the corner …………and I will tell you more about that a little bit later in today’s blog thingy. For now though lets crack on with today’s Q and A……..off we go.

Christine m Asked:

I will be a first time cruiser in year 2011. I will be turning 40 few weeks later. I will be travelling with my aunts and uncle my Aunt Deanna will be turning 60 and retiring in April. My question is what will I expect to see and do once on board the carnival dream. my stateroom is6312. This will be my first vacation and I am signal. So do you have anything for the signal ladies to do.?

Yours truly
Christine M
From Canada ont.

John Says:
Hello Christine M

How brilliant that you are going to be taking your first ever cruise and your first ever vacation on a Carnival ship. There are lots of great places where, as a single traveler, you can meet new friends. The piano bar is a favourite haunt for single guests and of course in between spending time with your family and seeing the great shows and enjoying the sunshine, food and fun you will be able to hopefully meet other single travelers as well. If you let me know what ship you will be sailing on I will let you know what else to expect and some of the places onboard that you will not want to miss.

Thanks for writing and best wishes
John

Mark from Alberta Asked:
RE: Jim Eakins suggestion Grand Caribbean Tour

John, my wife and I are from the Western part of Canada and like Jim who lives in beautiful Nova Scotia which is on the East coast of Canada, airfare is expensive for Canadians.

We have done B2B on the Freedom to maximize the value as airfare is expensive. Returning to the embarkation port is an unfortunate but necessary evil as Carnival is not offering a 14 day Caribbean cruise.

I must admit I am envious of our American neighbors who are lucky enough to be close to a cruise port as they can drive or take advantage of the often lower discount fares that Canadian airlines are not able to offer.

14 days cruising is truly way more fun and relaxing than 7 believe me! The down side of a B2B is that you see the same shows and the food menu is re-cycled. You hear the same jokes from the CD (admittedly he/she can anticipate that there will be B2B cruisers and it would be really hard to prepare new material for each separate week!)

Anyways, I agree with Jim. Any possibility of Carnival taking a serious look at this?

John Says:
Hello Mark from Alberta

The first two comments today were both from Canadian bloggers………that’s good to see. I realize though that the cruise industry has limited hardware out of Canada and for obvious destination reasons. I also know that the one concern people have about back to back cruises is that as you said, lots of onboard activities and menus are repeated. Therefore the option is to have longer Caribbean voyages. Certainly our current Panama Canal repositioning voyage was quickly snapped up and I know that my friends in the Miami office have taken note of this and I will add your thoughts to this as well. By the way……have you considered the eight-day Carnival Miracle voyages to Aruba and next year to Bermuda? And of course, it would be an honour to say welcome aboard to you on a 12 day European voyage on the Carnival Magic next year.

Let’s see what the future brings and thanks for taking the time to express your excellent views.

Best wishes
John

Ricky (TABASCO) Asked:
John Please Reply

John,

Tried to send you an article about a deal to build a pier in Grand Cayman. I think my post is stuck in moderation because I cut and pasted the article. E-mail me instructions on how to get that article to you. Great news…don’t you think?

John Says:
Hello Ricky (Tabasco)

Thanks Ricky. I saw the article and are indeed in Grand Cayman today. I hope they really do this and I make no apologies for saying once again “It’s about bloody time.”

Thanks for thinking of me.

Best wishes
John

Jake Siverberg Asked:
Hey John, PLEASE REPLY

I wanted to ask you if you knew how I volunteer for community hours at the port everglades terminal if there’s sports available. Next year I will enter high school, and yes it’s been since I was in 5th grade that I’ve read this now I’m in 8th! Therefore, is need to begin my service hours for 12th grade graduation in 4 years

Jake, thanks PLEASE REPLY

John Says:
Hello Jake Silverberg

It is always nice to hear from you. I know that you have a tremendous love for cruise ships and I have no doubt that one day you will be working for a cruise line either onboard a ship or ashore. You are going to have to wait a little while longer though mate as you have to be a little older to work at embarkation. Please would you send my best to your Grandmother.

Hope you write again soon

Best wishes
John

Nancy Trevino Asked:
John–please reply!

Good afternoon John. Hope you are having a great time on the Conquest.

I hope you can help me. My husband and I went on our first cruise on the Conquest last October–had a fantastic time. We have been wanting to go on another cruise ever since we got off the ship. Where I need help is figuring out something to do for my wonderful husband. During the last two years I have had some medical problems that affected my ability to walk.

My husband, who has always been helpful around the house, has had to pick up even more of the burden. While we were on the ship last year, he made many trips to the Lido deck for me when I couldn’t go. I owe him so much. I want to do something special for him on the ship. Because of my medical issues, we don’t have a lot of extra money. I would appreciate any ideas that you could give me.

By the way, I love your blog thingy! It’s a great pick me up when I have had a bad day at the office. I consider it a great honor (spelled correctly) to be able to read it. Keep it coming!

John Says:
Hello Nancy Trevino

I am sorry to hear about your medical problems and I am sure you both need a break and some relaxing time. Please let me know what ship you are sailing on and when and I will let you know about some of the highlights onboard and maybe ashore where I can chose an excursion that is right for you both. Also, if you let me know your state room number I will send your husband a little something for being such a great support to you in your time of need.

Thanks for reading the blog and hope to hear from you soon

Best wishes to you both
John

Maurene Asked:
John, please reply ( URGENT)

Hi, I just have a quick favour to ask of you.

I will be sailing on the Liberty May 15th ( one month YAY) and am a member of the cruise critics roll call for that sailing date. We are thinking of doing a scavenger hunt through out the ship, so that the members might get to see places on the ship that they normally wouldn’t.

Some of the things would include easy things like get a drink umbrella, or have you picture taken with a man in a Hawaiian shirt or something like that.

Unfortunately I have only cruised once before, and that was 3 years ago, so I am hoping you can put me in touch with someone more familiar with the layout of the Liberty that might have some suggestions of places to see on board that people might not normally go. Perhaps the cruise director or one of his underlings?? I realize you can’t give me his info but if you could give him mine.. I am just trying to put a little extra into all our trips on Carnival!!

If you could that would be great!!

I also wrote you about the possibility of borrowing toys while on board, not sure if you have gotten to that or not, as you are a few weeks behind. But if you could get to me on the Scavenger hunt thing that would be great, as I need time to plan it!!

Thanks John!!!
Gonna rock the ship in the Captains Suite!!

John Says:
Hello Maurene

Just to let you know I have sent this to my friend and the Carnival Liberty‘s CD “Butch.” I will ask him to have one of his assistants contact you so please can you leave a note at the Guest Services Desk as soon as you board with your state room number and name on it as you didn’t include your last name or cabin number here. He will make sure you have all you need and even provide a solid gold plastic trophy for the winner of the scavenger hunt.

I did get your e-mail re the toys and I have sent it to the girls who run Camp Carnival. They, like me thought it was a great idea and are working on this now.

I hope you have a brilliant time and my best wishes to you to all the CC friends who are sailing with you.

John

FRANK Asked:
DEAR JOHN PLEASE REPLY

WIFE AND I ARE ON SHIP 05/18 WONDER WILL WE BE ABLE TO SEE ANY NBA PLAYOFF GAMES ?

John Says:
Hello Frank

Yes Frank. We will indeed be showing the games on the cabin TV’s, the sports bars and where applicable the Seaside Theatre big screens.

Have a wonderful time and enjoy the game.

Best wishes
John

Ann Martin Asked:
Reply requested urgently!

John

A very upset passenger called deborahjo has posted a comment on Cruise Critic about an incident with a waiter that got her order wrong and yelled. She has also posted his photo there as well. I suggest you send this to his boss so he can be fired for this as it is terrible service the page link is http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1198409

Thank You !
Ann

John Says:
Hello Ann

I sincerely apologize to Deborahjo that she received service that was not what she had expected. I find it hard to imagine that a waiter would stand there and shout at a guest though and certainly it is nothing I have ever heard of before. Anyway, I  sent the comment to the ship and they have no record of any guest making a complaint about this onboard. So, two things here. I apologize sincerely to Deborahjo that this happened and I would encourage her to always let the Maitre D or the Guest Services desk know anytime that she is not happy with any part of her cruise vacation. We certainly would have investigated this incident further if she had. However, I must say that I find the fact that this waiters picture was posted on Cruise Critic with the words “If you see this waiter run away” rather cruel. However, Deborahjo was upset and I sort of understand her frustration. But respectfully Ann, what I do not understand is what this has to do with you and why, not knowing the whole story, you write to me demanding he be fired.

So, let’s move on and I send best wishes to you and my apologies again to Deborahjo.
John

Big Ed Asked:

John, I want a complete refund for what you made go through on my cruise on the Carnival Dream, 2/27. Making me come up on the stage 11 times during that cruise to shake my body to the Mexican hat dance and profess my love to my wife, Pat, every time you said Michigan. You had guest all over the ship and even in ports yelling out to me “There’s Big Ed from Michigan.” Even though you gave Pat a Carnival bag full of nice gifts that will do nothing permanent mark you put on me. I will never get over it. I think I will need mental help. Maybe a long cruise will help me get over it.

BIG Ed

John Says:
Hello Big Ed

You also made an everlasting impression on one of the 344 Stephanies during the bloggers cruise which I am trying to get Peter the Hair to show on the blog thingy. As always Ed you are, like me, a star……………….and by star I mean that we are large gaseous objects.

Best wishes to you and Pat
John

Cruise85 Asked:
Hi John, (Please reply)

I just thought you might find this article interesting since you’re always talking about the men with beards! (http://chronicle.com/blogPost/The-Trustworthiness-of-Beards/22581/) Turns out men with beards were deemed more credible than those who were clean-shaven! Haha! Love your blog and keep up the good work. Hope to get on a Carnival ship soon!

John Says:
Hello Cruise 85

Brilliant article. Thanks for sharing mate and I hope that one day we will be able to have fun together onboard a Carnival ship. Until then, I hope you remain beardless and enjoy the blog.

Best wishes
John

That’s all for today and I will be back with more tomorrow.

OK, let’s go back to the ongoing subject of prohibited items. Let me start once again with an apology for not making the list of these items as clear as we should have done and as I said yesterday, this is a learning curve for us all. Now, I was contacted today by Host Mach from Cruise Critic regarding a lady who had her curling hair tongs confiscated. This apparently caused a barrage of comments that we were doing this to try and create revenue in the beauty salons. And while this conspiracy theory is a good one……….it is just that……….a conspiracy theory. I contacted three vice presidents about this today and they all confirmed that this was a mistake by the security person on that particular ship and it was confirmed that this item (hair curling, straightening thingies) are absolutely allowed onboard. My sincere apologies to the lady who had hers confiscated, that was our mistake. Hopefully that one is now cleared up and that conspiracy theory proved to be total bollocks.

Then there are these 2 e mails and  postings I received this morning .

Amanda
“…strip could cause a spark and a spark can cause a fire and………well…….the rest is obvious. We make no apologies for thinking of the safety of the ship and all on board…”

I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that. If this was/is truly a safety issue then smoking would not be allowed in cabins… smoker could fall asleep…. lit cig. could fall on floor (or bed) (providing a longer and more constant “source” than a spark)…lit cig. on floor (or bed) could cause a fire and…… well….

If Carnival is truly worried about old/frayed wires in electronic devices the put something to the effect of “only extension cords/power strips in good working order with no frayed wires will be allowed on board, all others will be confiscated” I mean you are already looking for them, if the wires are all intact let it go, if there are frayed wires, hold on to it, and put the naughty note in the suitcase.

Frankly I don’t care one way or the other, as we don’t need one. But, I don’t like being lied to. State the new policy, state the TRUE reason for the new policy, and take any flack you receive as a result. Don’t say is it for “safety” when it is not.

Hello Amanda

There is no lie. We never lie about safety. What other possible reason could we have for taking your power strips other than safety?

Best wishes
John

Cardinalfan1
Hundreds of Cruise Critic members are pissed about this power strip issue. Carnival had better watch out ! Thought you should know.

Hello Cardinalfan1

I am not sure what “Carnival had better watch out” actually means but once again I must say that I find it puzzling as to why you are so angry. I can understand if we made major changes to the product, or put our prices up drastically………but threats……..over power strips……….I don’t understand.

Please let me know if you have a suggestion or further thoughts.

Best wishes
John

Before I talk about Grand Cayman today let’s talk about an old friend. This friend was a popular figure, especially here amongst the guests sailing on the Carnival Fantasy. I am of course talking about my first ever ship, the ship that spent many happy cruises out of Mobile……….the Holiday.

Well, as you know she recently left our fleet and headed off to join her sister the Celebration. She of course is now the Grand Celebration and part of Ibero Cruises fleet. Well, I know we all loved the Holiday as she was but I don’t think any of you will be prepared for just how stunning she looks now. Here is a slide show thingy which you must see.

That slide show was sent to me by Super Spy PA 007 and thanks to him/her you are the first people to see the amazing renovation work that has been carried out. Did you see that suite? And how about that cabana bar on Veranda Deck Aft? And of course the corridors and the art work gives the ship a wonderful fresh feeling……….brilliant.

She has now left the yard in Genoa, Italy and is heading to Barcelona. Although most of us will never cruise on her I know that the many, many fans of the ship will be thrilled to see that she has been rejuvenated and ready to give passengers a “fantastic” cruise.

We are in Grand Cayman today and while it is a beautiful day it is once again very windy. This means all the stingray tours were canceled because it was so rough on the north side of the island. That’s a real shame. Apart from that everyone seems to be having a great time.

Oh, just before I continue I have not heard anymore from the lady who thought I was taking photos of her on the Serenity deck yesterday. I have not seen her again and so far she does not seem to have realized that the accused pervert is in fact…..me. Anyway, hopefully she won’t realize and if anything changes………..I will keep you a BREAST of the situation.

Reality TV it seems is here to stay and I know for many of you it is essential viewing. As we watch people try to live on an island together, get screamed at by a celebrity chef and try desperately to eat only lettuce and air in order to become America’s Next Top Model I can’t help but think that these show’s producers are not afraid to dip the spoon deep into the dark soup of the society we live in.

Honestly……….I find it all quite depressing. Take American Idol. For every one winner there are many, many losers who are insulted by Simon Cowell and his fellow judges and are forever pointed at in the street and scornfully reminded that they got insulted ……that’s no way to live. Yet the chance to be the next Justin Trousersnake or the next R Jelly are too much and the bright lights of stardom can’t be ignored.

Anyway, I know I am in the minority when it comes to reality TV as this concept is loved by millions. This though sets the scene for something that I wanted to tell you all about. During these last few days I had been noticing something here on the Carnival Fantasy regarding our brand new Entertainment Staff member Luke. He arrived on Saturday. It is his first ever time working on a ship and he seems to have fitted in really, really well. However, on elegant night I saw a few guests taking his photo. This was strange only in the fact that he had not hosted anything yet and had been following the other staff members around, learning the job. So why then were people taking his photo?

I asked him………..here is the answer. You see Luke was on a TV show, actually is still on a TV show called “Real Housewives of New Jersey.”  He was the assistant to something called Dina and even had to wash her ummmm……..cat………..who apparently was called “grandma wrinkles.” It is on Bravo on Wednesdays at 10 pm.

Now, I have no idea what the heck this show is about but I guess some of the guests here know because he has been very popular. Here are a few photos of Luke but thankfully none of grandma sodding wrinkles.

Luke is going to be a fantastic entertainment staff member and I am sure many more guests will recognize him. Did you?

So, back to my reality and my time in the gym. As you may recall I had attempted to use the treadmill but had been rudely interrupted by Tarzan. I left realizing that I wasn’t going to go back and that I shouldn’t be too upset because I am a cruise director and the guests happiness must come first……………but I was still pissed off at him though.

Anyway, on the Fantasy class of ships you have to walk through the changing rooms to get out of the gym and the spa. And so with thoughts of Tarzan still in my head I walked past the showers. As I did I made a note to mention to the Chief Engineer that we probably needed to improve the ventilation in there because all the shower cubicles were being used and steam was filling the locker rooms. As I walked through a shape appeared in front of me………and when that missed cleared there was another man wanting to ask me questions. The thing was………..he was naked …………… 100% butt naked. Now, there may be those who will be thinking that this is just bollocks and I am making up a story for this here blog………..but it isn’t bollocks……….I swear…….there in front of me ……….. telling me that the TV in his cabin was not working properly and that nobody had fixed it yet…………was a naked 40 something year old man.

He seemed to have no qualms that as he told me how he had told his state room steward that it wasn’t working three hours ago and that it still wasn’t, that he was nude.

I tried desperately to get out of there and the conversation went like this.

ME – Why don’t you get dressed and I will wait for you outside.

NAKED MAN – I want this fixed, it’s been nearly four hours and I ain’t happy. What do you have to say.

Now, I thought that under the circumstances that a bit of humour might be needed so I said:

ME – It’s not true then what they say about men with big feet?

He looked at me and at one point I thought he might hit me………….so I quickly asked him for his cabin number which he told me and I got out of there very quickly.

I called the AV manager who had in fact fixed the TV an hour ago (the cable had come out of the back) and walked dejected back to my cabin. In the last 30 minutes I had to cancel my first attempt at the Gym for a long time and ………….had been accosted by a naked man with a broken TV . The only thing that made up for all this was the fact that I now knew that all men are not created equal and that even though I had been shouted at by a naked man………..it was a naked man who looked like he had been married to Lorraine Bobbitt.

Goodnight
Your friend
John

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55 Responses to Photos Of Your Holiday

  1. Frank and Bridie says:
    May 12, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Wow John you have had one heck of a week. So here we have a cruise director thats a pervert and takes photos of women. Gets hustled be naked men. and has a group of Internet stalkers! WOW. What could be next?

    I hope this prohibited item thing doesnt mean my Wifes Hair curler is going to be confiscated??

    Big Fans as Allways,
    Frank and Bridie

    Reply
  2. Canuck Cruiser says:
    May 12, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Hey John,
    Great blog as usual………despite the visuals about the naked gym guy.
    About your leg cramps………………….have you stopped wearing your compression stockings that I brought you? If you wear them during the day………..your legs will be just fine at night. Try them……and wear them on a regular basis.

    All the best,

    Mr. Canada

    Reply
  3. Jo says:
    May 12, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    John,
    (Just an opinion, no reply needed)

    Why do people need power strips, clothes pins, fans, and their entire house to go on vacation? I personally spend as little time as possible in my room because I am on VACATION. I’m not there to charge 100 electrical appliances.

    I mean really. Boycot a ship over not being able to back up a u-haul at the pier and unload your house? I guess there are valid reasons for needing a power strip – but I am sure Carnival accomodates that.

    1 week 11 days (just sounds shorter) until bring my 57 inch plasma tv, DVR, recliner, and other house holds goods on the Carnival Glory!

    Cheers!

    Reply
    • Cruiserererer says:
      May 13, 2010 at 12:34 am

      1. Not every passenger on a cruise ship is on vacation. They might need laptops, still and/or video cameras, cell phones, etc. with them in order to work.

      2. Not every passenger on a cruise ship who is on vacation can leave their work behind, such as a small business owner or people who have certain types of jobs. They might need laptops, cell phones, etc. with them in order to do their jobs when they’re not having fun.

      3. Even people who are on vacation usually have camera batteries to charge (multiple batteries for people with multiple cameras and/or spare batteries or rooms with multiple people in them), cell phones to charge (for calling/Internet/music/games/etc.), etc. and might also have hair appliances, women’s shavers, iPods, laptops, and other items to charge. (Yes, there is a plug for shavers in the bathroom, but on the Carnival ship I was on, it was just below the ceiling and I couldn’t reach it.) These are not unreasonable items for a vacation or business trip or anywhere in between.

      4. Some people don’t sleep well without a fan because they are used to it. Some people need a fan because they get hot at night/have hot flashes. Some people need a fan for medical reasons.

      Remember, just because you don’t have a need for something doesn’t mean everybody doesn’t have a need for it.

      And, yes, some of these items are so critical that one would pick a different cruise line over not being able to use or bring them onboard.

      Reply
  4. Amanda says:
    May 12, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Hi John,

    Prehaps I should have said “State the new policy, state ALL the reasons, not just the one that people can’t say complain about…”

    I’m sure increased safety is a by product of the ban, but I highly doubt it is the main reason. As to what other reasons? I have no idea, Carnival isn’t saying.

    But, like I said in my last post, if safety were truly the ONLY reason or even the main reason, then smoking would be banned in cabins as well. How many fires have been started from faulty power strips vs the number started by lit cigs/cigars? (I’m sure the people with beards will know). If the number for the power strips is higher, then I’ll concede my point.

    But that is just my view point. It won’t stop me from booking on Carnival, as I enjoy the product as a whole, and the lack of a power strip in my room won’t change that.

    Now I’m off to vacation for two wonderful weeks (Hawaii, not a cruise), so should you reply, I won’t see it for a while, because when I’m on vacation my laptop stays home, hence our no need for power strips. :)

    Reply
  5. Betty says:
    May 12, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    John,

    Please allow me to set the record straight in regards to the above mentioned “Yelling waiter” post. I was at the table with DeborahJo who initially posted this on Cruise Critic. It was my son as well as my husband along with Debbie and her husband that were involved in this incident. Let me assure you this was brought to the attention of the two ladies standing at the podium near the dining room entrance. They called down the assistant Maitre’D who took our information and assured us there would be a follow up and we’d be contacted.
    At that point I expressed to him that all I wanted was an apology from this waiter for his actions. My intent was for him to acknowlege that he did yell at my husband and to express my concern that it is never appropriate to yell at a guest in such a manner. He did apologize in front of the assistant Maitre’D along with the two ladies that were in charge of the dining room.
    The assistant Maitre’D once again assured us this would be followed up with this gentleman after we left. It was never my intention to have him fired as I truly do not know what circumstances may have prompted such behavior from him. If this was not something that had previously occured I would hope that the incident with us would serve as a warning against any future incidents.
    Upon leaving the dining room on our last full day aboard what was other wise an incredible cruise the incident was behind us. We had several more hours of enjoyment ahead.
    Thank you for allowing me to explain my part in this situation.

    Betty

    Reply
  6. Vinny from Staten Island says:
    May 12, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    Keep up the good work John I’m loving the blog. I’ve been looking into the Carnival Freedom for sept so fingers crossed. All I have to say about the power strips is who cares??? I brought one on my last cruise for my gf and she didn’t even need to use the thing. I swear people just like to hear themselves talk. Like is someone really not gonna go on a cruise for this reason? I mean cmon!!

    Reply
  7. The Cruzin2some says:
    May 12, 2010 at 6:14 pm

    Dear John,

    The real problem with this naked man is that it wasn’t even cold. If it was cold he could have blamed it on the shrinkage factor due to cold weather. Poor naked guy’s wife better send her a fruit basket and a magnum of champagne.

    Do you have any dividers that can be set up around the treadmill so no one can see who is using it. Privacy might help you with the rude guest who think you have no life of your own.

    A windy grand cayman is still better than a sunny High Desert in California. Oh to be on a cruise.

    Have fun with the Southern Crowd.

    The guy you interviewed yesterday who had a fan wifffeee, meant he had a fine looking wife.

    You need to get Jeff Foxworthy’s book “Redneck Dictionary” It will help you alot.

    “Yall” means You all
    “Yant to” means Do you want to

    The Cruzin2some
    James & Nancy Enslow

    Reply
  8. Marty Paul says:
    May 12, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    John-

    Be careful of naked men confronting you about broken TVs in ships’ spas…..he may have been wanting you to adjust his “rabbit ear” !

    Marty Paul

    Reply
  9. Vivian Sellers says:
    May 12, 2010 at 6:35 pm

    We will be on the Fantasy May 18th- that was hilarious!!!! IMAO

    Reply
  10. Donna Clark says:
    May 12, 2010 at 7:35 pm

    Carnival needs to take a lesson from the decorator of the “New Holiday”. She is hands down prettier than anything Carnival has! Sign me up for a cruise!!

    Reply
  11. Fern says:
    May 12, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    Hi John,

    Thanks for clearing up the issues of hair curlers/straightening thingies. We were on the Dream on May 1st and I had to do the walk of shame down to security to open my suitcase so security could confiscate my straightener. Goodbye expensive hair cut. Hello week of ponytails.

    Having the straightener taken away was just as well because two hours later, I lost our camera and we have no photos of our cruise. I checked with guest services every day to see if anyone turned it in. No one did which leads me to the question, what is Carnival’s policy in regards to lost and found items?

    Thanks!

    Fern
    Canada

    Reply
  12. Uncle Doug says:
    May 12, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    John, I seldom post on Cruise Critic any more. It seems to have been taken over by people who think they have a God given right to do what ever they want no matter what the rules. Then they will flame anyone who dares to disagree with them. They take the term critic too literal and feel it is their obligation to point out every human flaw or mistake made. When the post starts out with “I had a great time on my cruise but……….” I know it is going down hill and just skip to the next post.

    In my 17 plus cruses I have never seen the need to use a power strip, smuggle booze or pack any of the 100 or so must have items like bungie cords or over the door show holder. If I happen to have more than 1 electronic item I use them or charge them one at a time.

    Opinions are like arse holes, every one has one. Some just love to show theirs more than others.

    Reply
  13. Jarrett says:
    May 12, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    The power strip thing obviously seems to be a problem. The only thing I have to say is that last cruise we brought a little thing where we could plug up 3 things at once. (We might have snuck it on board. I don’t know.) Anyway, the main thing we use it for is to charge our camera and to plug in a clock. Since Carnival does not have clocks in the rooms we have to bring our own so we know the time, and to set an alarm to get up for early excursions. Why there are no clocks in the rooms are beyond me, but it does not affect whether or not we have fun on the cruise or not.

    Reply
    • Sarah says:
      May 13, 2010 at 8:12 am

      I actually bring a small battery operated clock because I’ve found that cell phone alarms will change the time with the time zone you are in (making you unable to stay on ship time) and plug in alarm clocks may not always be accurate due to changes in power. That frees up the plug for other things.

      For the record, we do take quite a few electronics but most of them don’t need to be charged often. We have the cameras but only one has a rechargable battery. We each have a cell phone but it’s fully charged when we get on the ship and then goes into the safe. We each have an ipod but last time I didn’t even remember to use mine so charging wasn’t necessary and it just stayed in the safe too. We don’t bring the laptop. Most of the time, we use the plug for curling irons or straightening irons when getting ready for dinner. We did bring a power strip last time but didn’t use it!

      Reply
    • dandan says:
      May 13, 2010 at 10:42 am

      What about wakeup call service?
      You know……………you use the phone, punch in what
      time you want to get and …….presto.

      Reply
      • Sarah says:
        May 13, 2010 at 11:08 am

        Or room service as a wake up call provided that you are not half asleep when you fill out the card and forget to write down a time! I also recommend not setting the alarm clock half asleep if you want to wake up at 7 a.m. as opposed to 7 p.m.

        Reply
  14. Megan Fox says:
    May 12, 2010 at 8:56 pm

    Grand Holiday,,,,,hmmmmmm

    the decor is very……hmmmmmmmmm……i know ……..its comming to me………………..oh yea ……………PLAIN JANE ART DECO..
    I did notice a funny thing.. The TRADEMARK Carnival Funnel even with a new paint job and logo is STILL ON THE SHIP.
    One would think that Carnival Corp would be more protective of it’s TRADEMARK even to a sister company.
    Guess thats how Carnival Corp is going to have a PRESENCE in the med.
    In any case i wish the Grand Holiday well.

    Reply
  15. Nancy Trevino says:
    May 12, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    John, (Your answer)

    Thank you sooo much for putting my humble letter in your blog thingy. I was so excited when I saw it. I did forget to tell you what ship we are going to be going on and when. Anyway, we are going to be on the Carnival Ecstasy leaving on October 11, 2010. Our cabin is E66.You don’t have to send anything for him. I was just asking what I could do on the ship special for him. Maybe have the CD make an announcement about how special he is.

    We are going to be bringing my scooter so that I can get around the ship. But to go on excursions I will also be bringing my crutches so that I will be able to get off the ship.

    John, you are such a sweet person, it really upsets me when I read on your blog thingy how rude some people are to you. From what I have read and heard about you, you are the 2nd sweetest guy in the world. The first of course, being my husband. Thank you for all you do to make t

    Reply
    • Nancy Trevino says:
      May 15, 2010 at 11:23 am

      I hit submit comment too early….anyway, I just wanted to thank you John for everything you do to make the world a happier place.

      Please give my best to Heidi and Kye.

      Reply
  16. Michelle says:
    May 12, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    You always make me laugh! But the guy in the shower was the best! I could not stop laughing.
    16 days and counting and I will be on the Dream-wish you could join us!
    The only thing I will miss is reading your blog on the ship! Is there a computer that we can read your blog for free?

    Michelle

    Reply
  17. Mary "Mrs. Shy" says:
    May 12, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    Hi John, Please reply

    I just read a review on Cruise Critic and the poster complimented the female Maitre’d whose name was Desi. Do you know or can you find out if Desi is the same person who was a member of the waitstaff on the Carnival Splendor last May and then a head waiter ( are the females called waiter too?….. can’t recall what it said on her name tag ) on the Carnival Dream in December?

    If it is the same Desi, would you please pass this on to her and congratulate her on her promotion? She was an excellent and personable server on the Carnival Splendor and even though we did not have her on the Carnival Dream, we did know she was assigned to the Carnival Dream and went and visited with her in the Scarlett Dining Room. We also saw how hardworking she was as a head waiter on the Lido deck in the late evenings after she served dinners in the dining room.

    If this is the same Desi, she sure got promoted fast so that is an indication of how well she is thought of. We sure thought she was deserving of a promotion and even teased her that the next time we saw her, she would be the Maitre’d.

    Thank you in advance for checking into this and if it is her, for passing our congratulations on to her.

    By the time you read this, you may be ready for your vacation or on it already so I hope you will enjoy the time with Heidi and Kye.

    Mary

    Reply
    • Anne says:
      May 13, 2010 at 5:48 pm

      We were on the Carnival Legend in February 2009 and our Asst. Maitre’d was a women named Desi. She was wonderful and spoiled my husband rotten. With 2400 people on board she still remembered my husband’s name (not mine though – lol), danced with him and brought him a Legend trophy for his birthday. (I’ve been on 8 cruises and still don’t have my own ship trophy.)

      We’re going on the Carnival Destiny in October and are hoping the dining room staff are as excellent as we’ve had in the past even though our favorite, Desi is probably on another ship.

      Reply
  18. Deborah Rosato says:
    May 12, 2010 at 10:12 pm

    Hi John,

    I would just like to chime in about the Power strips. I wasn’t aware that we could no longer bring power strips on board until I was reading your blog. Maybe I can shed some light on why they are so important to women espically.

    Flat irons, curling irons and hair dryers that have power all have very large surge protector plugs on the end of them and do not fit into the outlett located at the dressing table. the outlett at the table is so close to the table these large plugs won’t fit. So that is where the problem is…

    Since these appliances have surge protector plugs, I don’t see what hazard they would cause if pluged into a surger procter power strip – but that’s not my call to make…. Now I have to go out and find a flat iron, curling iron and heavy duty hair dryer that have a regular plug to fit into the outlet – that’s a bummer…

    So based on what I’m reading in your blog, our luggage will be searched for power strips and they will be removed?

    Reply
    • Fraser Muir says:
      May 12, 2010 at 11:54 pm

      1. hair dryers are not allowed but are provided
      2. all of these plugs will fit into the outlet in the bathroom

      luggage is searched regardless, not just for power strip or alcohol but also contraband, illegal material and weapons. if you bring an item that is not allowed then it will be taken and returned after the cruise.

      Reply
      • Christi Mitchell says:
        May 14, 2010 at 10:14 am

        I have to say that i bring my own hairdryer just because the ones that are onboard do not have the power for someone that has really thick hair. Also you have to hold the switch on.. that is a pain. Is my hairdryer going to be taken? I am thinking that my hair is not going to look so great on our trip nor is my dd who i am sure will be complaining because she doesnt have straightener or curling iron. We never brought a strip on Liberty 2 yrs ago and never had a problem, so i am assuming we wont this time unless they take it from us!

        Reply
      • Sarah says:
        May 14, 2010 at 10:44 am

        Hair dryers have always been allowed, as well as curling irons and hair straighteners, and you might want to check to make sure that that plug is intended to be used for those purposes.

        Reply
      • Sarah says:
        May 14, 2010 at 11:19 am

        http://www.carnival.com/CMS/FAQs/Electrical_Outlets.aspx

        Proof from Carnival FAQs that the outlet in the bathroom is only intended to be used for electric shavers, not hair dryers or any other electrical appliances.

        Reply
  19. Deborah Rosato says:
    May 12, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    Me again – my computer ended my blog before I was finished and I didn’t even get to do a spell check – Ouch!!

    I would only hope that Carnival will consider raising the outlet on the desk so that a phone charger or computer can be plugged in..otherwise with the very large surge protector plugs on these apparatuses, they can no longer be plugged into the outlet Carnival provides.

    Regardless, as disappointed as I am about this news – I still love Carnival, the blog thingy and you!!!

    All my best – Deborah (Debs)

    Reply
  20. Shirley Godbold says:
    May 12, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Carnival can easily solve the power strip problem by simply putting a double outlet plug at the dressing table! Also possibly a double outlet plug in the bathroom. Today’s ladies just can’t fix their hair without numerous electrical items. Sometime the hairdry that is provided is not “powerful” enough for some hair types!

    Reply
  21. Fraser Muir says:
    May 12, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    I really don’t understand the fuss about the power strips. These are probably the same people who plug 20 strings of Christmas lights into each other and wonder why the fuse on the first one blows.

    it’s simple, if each person had a power strip with 5 outlets on it and all being used it would greatly stress the circuit and cause the circuits to pop.

    you can charge the camera, phone, laptop separately and everyone seems to forget you have a second outlet in the bathroom.

    Reply
    • Sarah says:
      May 13, 2010 at 10:31 am

      Isn’t the outlet in the bathroom only supposed to be used for electric shavers? I thought there was a sign.

      Reply
  22. Philip Kirschner says:
    May 13, 2010 at 2:19 am

    John,

    I am 45, disabled and an EX-Marine and am looking forward to taking my vacation on your dream august 14, 2010. WIll you be our cruise director sir?

    Reply
  23. Beth Flynn says:
    May 13, 2010 at 6:31 am

    John, Don’t feel bad. I pulled a muscle in my hip last night doing Zumba (a kind of dancercise). I guess my Salsa’ing days are over. LOL Oh yeah, and I hate reality TV. Actually who has time for TV? Why do I want to watch other people living their lives when I could be out living mine??? Celebrity staff now, what else will Carnival come up with to make it the BEST brand at sea??? :)

    Reply
  24. Elaine says:
    May 13, 2010 at 7:29 am

    WOW… Our Cruising Family (16 in total) have never had to bring a power cord/surge protector with us…. and we are now all Platinum… Yes, we blow dry our hair using the plug under the mirror behind the desk. Then we use the same plug again for the girls to use the hair straightener. At night, we use the same outlet to charge our cameras and/or iPods.

    Yes, we bring along a BATTERY OPERATED alarm clock… Please do tell, what else do you need a power cord for?????

    I really do not understand what all the hoopla is about….

    Thanks John for another great blog and again making me LOL (laugh out loud) at work!!!

    Reply
  25. George Perry says:
    May 13, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Hi John, I’m the guy you talked to in the Ocean Plaza on the Dream last March, who “never missed a blog” and had our 38th anniversary that day. Thanks for the gift in our cabin, it was great.

    Since there is no clock in the cabin, we bring a small digital clock so we can see the time at night. If you unplug it, the time has to be reset. My wife brings a curling iron. She doesn’t use the plug in the bathroom, because the next person cannot use the room then. We have two camera batteries we charge every night so they’re ready for the next day. We make sure our cell phones are charged for use in port. I know others bring their laptop computers as well which need to be charged. I know YOU have to charge your blackberry thingy quite often too. How are we supposed to do this with only one plug in the cabin?

    I think Carnival’s powerstrip ban is a little unrealistic and unnecessary. Better that they go after booze smugglers, chair hogs, kids in the adult areas and hot tubs, kids damaging parts of the ship and loitering in the stair wells, people smoking where they should not be, and even smoking in the cabins.

    I can understand banning blenders, electric coolers, and all of the other things people say they bring on board, but basic necessities of modern life in good condition should be OK. Carnival could also reduce the problem by permanently installing a power strip right on the wall. One outlet just doesn’t cut it anymore.

    We plan to book a cruise on the Magic as soon as the itinerary is announced, and hopefully Carnival will come to their senses on this issue before we sail again.

    George

    Reply
  26. Mike says:
    May 13, 2010 at 8:10 am

    Okay, I’ll probably tick off a few people, but I happen to agree with the new regs regarding power strips. The cheap ones have no protection at all and even the more expensive ones that do have some sort of breaker built in are not necessarily safe. About a month ago I awoke to now power in the kitchen of my home, which was annoying when trying to make coffee! Went out to the garage and the breaker had tripped. Thinking the breaker had gone bad, I reset it only to hear the sounds of something akin to a Dr Frankenstein’s lab! Electrical cracking and popping and the instant smell of burned ozone. That was a bit scary. It seems the power strip under the desk went bad. It was an expensive model with a breaker built in and everything, but for some reason it did not trip! No frayed cord, no obvious signs of damage. Had the house breaker not tripped we may very well have had a new fireplace under the desk! Sorry but in my opinion, power strips are not inherently safe. Carnival has not only the safety of all the pax and crew to consider, but replacing or repairing a ship costs just a bit more than my house as well. I do not blame them for wanting to protect the pax and their investment! Yes, in the past I have brough a power strip to recharge batteries for the still cameras and video cameras. I’ll just have to start charging them one after the other now. It’s not like this is a huge deal. And to the conspiracay theoryist, if Carnival were doing this for some sinister reason they would make you buy single use batteries from the ships store and ban rechargables! Not everything is a plot!
    Mike

    Reply
    • Buckeyefrank says:
      May 13, 2010 at 9:50 pm

      You are absolutely correct. Power strips are not inherently safe. My cousin and his family lost their home to a fire when one of their power strips exploded. The family barely made it out of the house alive and within 4 minutes the house was entirely engulfed in flames. The firefighters on the scene said that power strips must be replaced because after 2 years they can explode at any time.

      Carnival is not doing this for anything other than the safety of the passengers and crew.

      Reply
  27. JimC says:
    May 13, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Well I think the Grand Holiday looks great! It’s wonderful to see that the Holiday has been given new life and will be able to continue to cruise on for many years.

    Great Job!

    Reply
  28. Alice Sloan says:
    May 13, 2010 at 10:17 am

    Hey John, have you guys been serving crazy water onboard???? We love our cruises to ESCAPE from electronic tracking devices that all require re-charging. No beeping, buzzing, ringing, vibrating (cell phone), dinging! Free for a week from all that. This power strip thingy is worn out!! CC needs to gripe about something new (but not about the crew).
    Alice

    Reply
  29. Maribeth Kring says:
    May 13, 2010 at 10:32 am

    OK, John, if we ever get to cruise together I am going to be your “trainer” for the length of the cruise. What that really means is I’m your walking buddy…..we’ll go up every morning and walk the track together and you can tell folks that your “trainer” gets mad if you stop so if they wanna talk, they’ll have to keep up!

    Maribeth Kring
    BELC

    Reply
  30. Sean McGrath says:
    May 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    John, please reply, but take your time, I’m in no rush.

    As ever, thanks for the blog thingy.

    To be honest I quite like to hear your comments on the new UK government, watching Sky News the night that Cameron became PM was fascinating, so I hope positive change comes from it and will be extremely interested to hear any comments you have about it, especially once you are back in the UK.

    Secondly, I have heard that since the introduction of anytime dining that debarkation night is anytime dining and the set seatings are not available. Is that correct and fleet wide?

    Finally, as a solo cruiser, at least until I can find a girl willing to come with me, I feel that set dining’s are the best for my situation. Are you aware how the solo cruisers have been fairing since the introduction of anytime, have any of the Maitre’d's made comments about this or anything?

    Thanks very much in advance and sail her easy.

    Sean

    Reply
  31. Ted says:
    May 13, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Hi John-
    Congratulations on your first steps to successful weight loss. My way to fix treadmill advice time is to turn up the headphones even more!

    I am headed off on the Splendor in a few weeks and I am traveling with a large group of 15 of my extended family members, including my wife and little 2 year old daughter. During the cruise, my wife and I are celebrating our anniversary by heading to the Pinnacle Steakhouse for the night. You have any other recommendations for me on ways that I can make that night special on the Splendor? The little one will be spending time with Grandma and Grandpa all night!

    I am a huge fan and I would consider it an honour (spelled correctly) for a short response. Sad to see that you will not be on the Splendor with us, but I am sure that Goose will take good care of us.

    Thanks!
    Ted

    Reply
  32. sargecharlie says:
    May 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    AKA Prince Charlie

    A special happy birthday wish for Kia, you are so lucky, she looks like her mom……….

    Reply
  33. Jake Silverberg says:
    May 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Thanks John Ill write back in that reegards again a few years lol. Thank you, shes doing great, just came off the glory as she booked 3 days before sailing somehow…. shes a cruise animal

    Jake

    Reply
  34. Betty says:
    May 13, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    John, We have cruised w/ you 4 times & love you.I’ll be going on my 13th. cruise in Jan.,2011.12 w/ Carnival & absolutely love lido deck w/ a balcony.
    You take a lot of **** on your blog but i love your blog & sense of humor.

    Reply

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  36. Mitch says:
    May 21, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Hi John!

    Loved your work-out story; I don’t know how you keep your composure with some guests; but that’s just one of the reasons you are so good at what you do.

    Case in point: Three January’s ago, my girlfriend and I were on the (then) very new Carnival Freedom. You were not CD that voyage, but apparently you started work the next cruise and were already on board. We were in the cigar bar/Jazz lounge (forgot the name) when you walked in. I said to my S.O. “Babe, there’s John Heald…..I gotta meet him”…she goes “John who?” (not quite the cruise vet that I am)…you were with some associates, but you took a couple of minutes to chat with ANOTHER of the thousands of folks that recognize you to the point it must be a blur,
    and you actually seemed to enjoy it. Whether you were, or you are a great actor doesn’t matter to me; it was an honor and I always enjoy meeting the best of any industry, and you certainly qualify.

    Cheers!
    Mitch
    Nebraska..

    Reply
  37. jacob says:
    June 9, 2010 at 8:53 am

    Awesome blog. John brings and people know about cruise excursion stuffs. Well going john. We went for cruise recently it was great. My friends loves to sail on cruise. We had lot of fun.

    Thank you
    Jacob

    Reply

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