Good Morning Everyone

This is Kye writing the blog today as Mummy and Daddy are upstairs shouting at each other. I think it’s about packing for our trip to the big boat called New Amsterdam tomorrow. Daddy is shouting at Mummy that she has put too much stuff in the suitcase. I heard Daddy say that he isn’t going to pay any money for having packed too much stuff. Mummy called him a cheap bastard. I don’t know what that means but as long as I have my toys and my diapers I am OK.

I don’t mind flying even though Daddy says this time we are flying on Easy Jet which makes Daddy very mad. I do know that I will have to be in the car with Mummy and Daddy for a long time though to get to the place where the airplanes live. When I get into the car with my Daddy I know I will have to listen to really silly music and that the car will smell of something called a cigar which Daddy had when Mummy and I were not in the car with him. Daddy will also get very angry at other drivers and will shout out the window at them. Sometimes he plays counting games with other people in cars by holding 1 or sometimes 2 fingers in the air. I don’t think my Daddy can count past 2.

We have a lady that lives in our car that tells us where everything is. I never see her but I hear her voice telling us when to turn left and what roads have lots of cars on it. Daddy doesn’t like this lady very much and won’t talk to her and ask her for help. He should do though because we always get lost and I have to wait and wait and wait to have my diaper changed and get out of my car seat to play. It takes him such a long time to admit he is lost that we could have got there, turned round and have gone home again. I wonder why Daddy doesn’t like the lady that lives in the car. Maybe she’s French because my Daddy always tells me that he doesn’t like French things and Daddy also tells me neither do I.

I want Daddy to be buy me an Eye Pod. Mummy listens to hers when she is the car with Daddy but I can’t have one because my ears are too small Mummy says. This means I get to listen to Daddy singing along to his sad 80’s rock music. I am glad that the windows of our big car are dark as I don’t want other babies to know that the man screaming something about smoke on some water is my Daddy.

There are strange things next to my baby seat. When Daddy is away on his boats the car is always clean and shiny but when Daddy is home there are CD cases, bits of cigar and lots of empty Diet Coke cans on the floor.

One time when we were all in the car together I farted. Mummy blamed Daddy……  and I laughed.

Thank you all for being so nice to me.


Thank you Kye. I had better press on with some Q and A. Off we go.

Bri Asked:
Dear John, (please reply)

I love Carnival cruises, in fact, I’m 19 and I am booked to take my fifth Carnival cruise for my Spring Break next year.

I took a Dream cruise for my Spring Break in March (3/6/2010) and had an absolute blast, but there is one thing that is troubling me… Exactly how many “Dick Little” cruises have there been. That performance the first night was a hoot, but I was rather disappointed that there was more than one “Dick Little” cruise! Was there someone from stinkin’ creek also?

You are one amazing cruise director!


John Says:
Hello Bri

Congratulations on having cruised so many times already and before you know it you will have reached Platinum status. Were you on the Stinking Creek cruise? He was a total original and although there may have been one or two Dicks there will only ever be one Stinking Creek. He has gone on my all time top ten list of favourite characters that I have met on the ships. I hope we get to sail together again soon and I have a feeling that your Spring Break cruise next year will be your best yet.

I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy

Best wishes

Dave Asked:
Hi John (please reply),

I have a question, something I’ve always wondered. And I figured you’d be a good chap to ask. Why doesn’t Carnival (or most other cruise lines for that matter) do long cruises to nowhere? I’m talking 5 to 7 days. I love sea days, and would absolutely love a cruise to nowhere for that long. If they go that long on a transatlantic cruise without having to re-stock supplies, why can’t they do a cruise to nowhere that long? I mean, if the casino were open for 7 days straight Carnival would make a fortune!

If you would be so kind as to share your knowledge with me, I’d appreciate it.


John Says:
Hello Dave

That’s a great question and the answer has nothing to do with supplies because as you said we can stock our ships for 6 days at sea during the trans-Atlantic voyages we do. The simple answer is that they wouldn’t sell which is why no cruise line does them. Many passengers book their cruise based on affordability and value for money then after that I am pretty certain that destination is the next important subject that families will discuss before booking.

Yesterday I highlighted the Carnival Victory which has a seven-day cruise with no full sea days and six ports. This sells extremely well but if we were to sell a seven-day cruise with no ports………well I think you may have the ship to yourself.  But hold on….. because I could be totally wrong here. I can see why you would want to spend 7 days on the ship and not go to any ports. This would enable the cruise to be priced without any taxes and fees for visiting the islands wouldn’t it? We would have to make sure we offer enough entertainment onboard to keep guests occupied but we already do this on those TA voyages. As I said, I don’t think it would sell but maybe there are many more people who think the ship is the destination. Let’s find out with a pole thingy.

Let’s see what others have to say Dave and thanks for the opportunity to discuss this topic.

Best wishes

Eric T. Asked:

Hi John, my question concerns the Carnival home page where the “counter” is that counts the number of days to your next cruise. Is it possible for Carnival to display more than one counter if you have two cruises booked??? As you know, many of us are like little kids and enjoy watching the countdown to our cruise(s).


John Says:
Hello Eric

It’s only recently that I have, thanks to the bloggers, discovered these countdown clocks and have seen just how popular they are. I will certainly ask one of the 344 Stephanies to look into this and I will let you know.

Best wishes

Carolyn Jane Asked:
Dear John (please reply):

You are asking for suggestions about longer cruises, so I am going to give you an earful. I have ten cruises on Carnival, but I also have two long HAL cruises, three long Princess, and two Celebrity as well a spell on the QE2. What your CDs and the people with beards have to understand is that the longer the cruise, the closer the demographic will be to those other lines. I was on the TA of the Carnival Dream, and the passenger mix was more like HAL than Sensation…Keep an eye out for what is different on your upcoming Cunard cruise. What do they have that you don’t have on Carnival? Well, the library. I don’t mean that you have to have a big one, but as your ships get larger, the libraries get smaller. Holiday class had a lovely library space, Fantasy class does also. Elation should have had a jigsaw puzzle or two for the large table…The library on Carnival Splendor was always well used, with several puzzles in progress, as well as readers. But it was small…And the library on Carnival Dream is just pitiful. And to make it worse, every evening as we went by, when my sister would probably have stopped in to work on a jigsaw (if there had been one) it was occupied by Friends of Bill W. or Friends of Dorothy…While there were empty conference rooms right next door.

People who sail longer cruises to new places want to know more about their ports than what tours the ship offers and what shops are paying to ship to promote them. You need enrichment speakers, talking about the history and culture of the area with a more thorough suggestion of what to see. You need maps of ports, whether or not there are approved shops there. Some of us want to get off and do our own walking tours without shopping, and would like a map with basic landmarks. Daily trivia quizzes (paper) and crossword puzzles. HAL delivers a daily NYT puzzle in their daily newspaper. Princess has them in the library. HAL has a daily trivia that you answer and deposit in a box in the library. You put your name and cabin number on it, and the time you submit. The person who submits the most correct answers at the earliest time gets a prize, such as a luggage tag or keychain…or perhaps a ship on a stick…

You need more dancing…Sail Princess or HAL and you might be surprised how many white haired couples there are rockin’ and rollin’ on the dance floor.

Our Carnival Dream TA was my sister’s first on Carnival. When I asked her if she would sail Carnival again, she said certainly, but not on a long cruise.


John Says:
Hello Carolyn Jane

Thanks for the earful. I am the first to admit that companies like Cunard and Holland America are better than we are at trans-Atlantic voyages.  The only defense I have is that while our ships do one of these voyages a year on their return to America from Europe their vessels are on longer cruises all year round and therefore are designed for this. Certainly we would love a bigger library but building one for just one cruise makes no sense because on our regular European and Caribbean voyages the libraries we have are more than big enough and do not get used nearly as much as they do on a 16-day TA that includes 6 straight sea days. What we have to do therefore is stock more books and when the shelves are empty replace them with more.

Scheduling private groups when there are other venues available isn’t the best use of this space so thanks for letting me know that this happened. There are plenty of places where the groups you mentioned can meet and I will make sure that this does not get repeated on your Carnival Magic.

I spoke yesterday about our need to improve our onboard programs by having guest speakers and lecturers and while I think the CDs do a great job in providing the information on what to do ashore I do think that guest lecturers on the history of the ports may be worth looking into.

I know that Cunard and Holland America has these programs and I know that their voyages are therefore more expensive than a Carnival one. However, I promise that I will do all I can to make your Carnival Magic‘s trans-Atlantic the most fun 16-day cruise we have ever done. Thanks again for the observations.

Best wishes

Jennifer & Shawn Asked:

Hello John!

We met a little over a month ago on the Fantasy when you first got on board. (We were the couple that got engaged during the Showcase of the Stars)

Since we’ve been home, we have been reading your blog whenever we get a chance! You are just too funny! (The one with the naked guy complaining about his TV was my fave! I work in a health club and I can relate!)

The more that we read your blog, the more we talk about working on the ship. I of course couldn’t find your email that you gave me to save my life! So, I’m trying here!

We would love to come and work for Carnival in the Entertainment area. We would be interested in just about anything! Can you please contact us and let us know what we need to do as far as applying with Carnival?

Thank you again for making our vacation so much fun! Between you and Risa, it was the most memorable vacation so far in our (hopefully) long lives together!

Jennifer & Shawn

John Says:
Hello Jennifer and Shawn

It’s great to hear from you and many congratulations once again on your engagement. I wish you many happy years together. I know you mentioned to me your desire to work onboard and so I would first ask you to look at our entertainment website ( It contains full job descriptions and requirements and will help you decide which position you would like to apply for. So go ahead and have a look and then contact me again here on the blog thingy and I will see how I can be of help further

Best wishes to you both

Mike & Lori Drew Asked:
John, (please reply)

I have written twice with no response. I would like to know you are receiving our emails. We sailed to Alaska on the Spirit on May 11 and we had no problem with seeing the entertainment staff on board especially Mayer and Wheezie. Stu was everywhere and so kind and gracious! We had lost our birth certificates somewhere in Ketchikan and he took time out of his ever busy schedule to talk with us and assure us everything would be fine. Then every time he saw us after that he would say “Remember! Everything will be ok and you will get home!” He and his staff were constantly working to make our cruise enjoyable. True, there was no deck party which was disappointing because they have a way to cover the lido deck so it was warm and they could have made improvisions for the party. I don’t think anyone would have minded the cold anyway. We were having too much fun! I agree that the glacier in Endicott Arm was much better than Mendenhall glacier even though at Mendenhall we saw ice calving. The Deadliest Catch Bering Sea excursion in Ketchikan is the best thing we did. It was awesome! They don’t take you out to sea but into the calm waters and show you what they do on the show. They also take you to a bald eagle preserve which was beautiful. I highly recommend it for anyone. Whale watching was ok but not the first week in May. There were no bears, salmon, or deer visible at this time of year. So, John, you really should go to Alaska and tell Stu he and his staff are doing an amazing job. I do think they should do more Alaska type activities on board. After all, the Alaska cruise is like no other and it should be exceptional. In support of what they did, it is the first time most of the staff has been on this cruise and they are just learning what works and what doesn’t. Stu did an amazing job though and we would cruise with him and his staff any time! We had a wonderful time and memories to last a lifetime!

Mike & Lori Drew

John Says:
Hello Mike and Lori Drew

I remember specifically replying to this brilliant post and I am sure that since posting the one above you will have seen my response. I am 3 weeks behind so please forgive me for the delay. I sent your posting to the ship and made sure that Stuart and his staff got to read your words of praise. I am sure they were thrilled.

I also remember writing that your posting made me promise myself that I would cruise Alaska before I stop doing this CD thingy and experience the last frontier for myself.

Thanks again for the great review.

Best wishes to you both

Shenika Asked:
Dear John, (Please Reply)

After reading today’s blog I have a question. Why doesn’t the Carnival Paradise have the water park?

I don’t think I am alone when I say that I enjoy reading about you and your family. Your stories are always interesting so please continue to write about your everyday life as well as what’s going on with Carnival.

All the best to you and your girls,

John Says:
Hello Shenika

That’s a great question and I honestly don’t know the answer. I guess someone with a beard decided that when the Carnival Paradise got all her brilliant upgrades that the water park would not be one of them. Let me see if I can find out for you.

Thanks so much for the kind words of support. They mean a lot.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Mary Richardson Asked:
Hi John (please reply)

I have to tell you that my husband and I enjoy your bloggy thingy and your gift for painting word pictures. There is nothing sweeter to me than to hear my husband chuckling over something you’ve written. Usually he will read that portion out loud to me, but sometimes it is so funny, he just passes me his computer because he is still laughing and wiping his eyes. Nothing like humour to keep a marriage happy. Now here is my request. Our family of ten (which includes a 12 year old, an 11 year old and a 6-month old infant) is booked on the Triumph the week of October 23rd for our second annual “entire family” cruise. Milton and I sailed on the Triumph May 8th (Carnival cruise Number 22) and had table 335 in the Paris Dining Room–at the very back next to the windows. We could not help but think what a perfect location for a family with pre-teens and a baby. We asked our Maitre’D about reserving that table or the one next to it for our Oct 23 sailing, but were told it was too early to put into the computer at the time. He also said he would be leaving for vacation in 2 months and did not know where he would be assigned when he returned. He suggested we contact our PVP, but she cannot assign tables and said we would need to talk with the Maitre’D on the Triumph but she could not tell us specifically how to do that. So, here we are asking the expert for help. Please, Sir, would you contact the proper person to request one of the back tables (335 or near it) in the Paris Dining Room be assigned to our family–or tell us who, when, and how to it ourselves? We really appreciate the personalized attention the Carnival staff offers each cruiser and that is one reason we keep coming back to Carnival cruise after cruise. Keep on blogging–it helps pass the time between cruises 🙂 . Thanks for your help.


John Says:
Hello Mary Richardson

Nothing pleases me more than to hear that despite the blog being over three years old, my silly musings still make one or two people laugh occasionally. Thanks then for telling me how much you enjoy the blog and it sounds like you are getting very excited about your cruise in October. On September 20 would you please post again your table request including the ship and cabin info and I will ask the Maitre D to assist you if possible.

I am sure we will be able to help.

Until then I send my best wishes to you and the family

David Rossberg Asked:
John reply needed

Cruise Critic member Waterboatman told me that you can get me a table for 2. I will be on the Liberty in December and want this to be the best cruise. It will be our first with you guys and I need the best server and best table to match our experiences with Celebrity, Princess and Royal Caribbean. So how do I get this done?


John Says:
Hello David

Please send me your cruise date and stateroom number here on the blog a month before you sail and I will do my best to help you with your table request. All our servers will offer you the most fun and most excellent service and thanks for taking your first ever cruise with Carnival. I have no problems in saying already that it will be your best cruise ever.

Best wishes

Princess Susan Asked:
Hi John,

It’s been awhile since I have written a reply to your blog. But I have been a lurker.

This is a “please respond” post.

I have had many, many, many, many, let’s just say I’m tired of my friends asking me to ask you this…so I decided to go ahead and ask.

I talk a lot about my wonderful Carnival cruises, and how excited I am about the BC4. Well, since I have joined Weight Watchers my Weight Watcher friends have been asking if there is any way of having a “Weight Watcher” cruise. Believe it or not, at least once every meeting someone just returned from a cruise and gained weight. I have several instructors begging to be included in this idea. I have no doubt if it became a National Campaign you could fill a cruise ship in no time! Is there any way you could get this message to the right people to make this happen?

Now…before you just say Weight Watchers on a cruise….…why? They would all gain weight! Well, a lot of my friends still think of Carnival as the party ship, only for young people. What a great way to get more people introduced to Carnival.

Now….before you say no….just remember a couple of years back when I suggested the “cut and paste” scrap booking idea! That worked well for Carnival.

There is sooooo many suggestions I would like to make about Weight Watchers and Carnival. But I won’t take away any more time you have with your girls!

John Says:
Hello Princess Susan

This is actually a good suggestion and one that I will certainly pass along. I will tell you that although we have our world-class spas and guilt-free cuisine dieting on a ship for some as easy as learning Mandarin Chinese and we have in fact had dieting groups on before. For many years we had the incomparable Richard Simmons and his “Cruise to Lose” groups on. They would attend all of his seminars and fitness classes and eat his deal a meal card stuff.

I know though that the weight loss industry is huge business and it would make sense if we tried to get involved. I will send this up the line and lets both try to avoid the chocolate melting cake on BC4. I will look forward to seeing you then and I will let you know what the beards say about your super idea

Oh, by the way I was on Jenny Craig for a while but she kept on shouting “Get off me fat boy, you’re crushing me”…………….silly joke…………….it’s George Solanos.

Best Wishes and I really am looking forward tom seeing you on the Carnival Glory.


That’s all for today and there will be more of course next week. Talking of next week there will be a slight change to the blog. First of all there will be no blog on Monday as it’s 4th of July weekend of which I will talk more of in a moment. On Tuesday I will write live from the Niew Amsterdam and tell you all about the ship. Also next week I will feature more of our ships including the Carnival Inspiration and Carnival Splendor. I will post the new piano bar schedule and there will be a few surprises as always.

One of the things I am hoping is that Heidi will get a chance to meet the godmother of the Niew Amsterdam. She is a member of the Dutch Royal family and her name is Princess Maxima. She is loved by all Dutch people and for Heidi just to get the chance to shake her hand or just to say hello would have her as thrilled as if I go to say hello or shake Megan Fox’s bottom……………….even though it’s married. I doubt this will be possible though as the ship will be full of very important people. Still, maybe if I offered Princess Maxima a solid gold plastic trophy and a fruit basket she would agree to having her photo with Heidi. Anyway, it will be fascinating to see the Holland America product up close and one of the things I will feature will be the Culinary Arts Experience. Have you heard about this? What a fabulous activity this is and here is a little foretaste for you:

Anyway, I know that you all love cruising and I hope that you will come along with me on Tuesday for a very special and perhaps “royal” blog. You can also watch the ceremony live online and hopefully you will see me, Heidi and Kye in the far, far distance. It should be a spectacular event and here is the link thingy

Just before I continue I wanted to apologize to someone called Rebecca whose post yesterday said that she had to explain some of my more adult references to her young son. This upset her very much for which I apologize. I know now and then I do get naughty and so I can’t promise that it won’t happen again. You see Rebecca, I type what I think and sometimes…….well………naughty things happen. Please accept my apologies.

Do you remember the inaugural festivities of your Carnival Dream? Well, during the lead- up to this we launched a special contest during which an aspiring journalist had a chance to be our very own Kid Reporter.  The winner of that contest is sailing this weekend on their Carnival Dream. Here is Vance to tell you more.


Thirteen-year-old Deidra Shores, the winner of last fall’s NBC Today Show Kid Reporter contest, will be sailing on the Carnival Dream next week and filing video reports directly from the ship on the line’s social networking site,

Carnival sponsored the Kid Reporter contest, and the grand prize was a weeklong Caribbean cruise for Deidra and her family aboard the line’s newest and largest ship.

Throughout the voyage, the aspiring journalist will document her week-long adventure with exclusive videos of the Carnival Dream and footage of her experiences ashore.

Be sure to check back next week to view Deidra’s exclusive reports from the Carnival Dream!

Thanks Vance. Well as you can see Deidra is very lucky and obviously a Wolf Blister in the making. Deidra will be reporting on all things Carnival Dream next week and you will see them here on the blog thingy.

I apologize that this blog will be rather shorter than usual but as Kye said at the start of today’s thingy…………we are packing. By the way, did you see this news that really defies belief? Here is a link thingy.

I can’t believe that.  Sixth percent of the people interviewed said they wouldn’t mid standing. Who are these people? And surely in a world of high visibility jackets and beards someone say that unlike cars, trains, buses and underground transport, planes travel through the air at several hundred miles an hour and experience turbulence or slamming into tarmac a little too hard. It makes the “making sure your tray table is up
sound utter bollocks. Anyway, it will happen and that will mean Ryanair will be able to charge an extra £10 if you would like the “seat option.”

Now, listen to this. Ryanair and Easyjet say you can go on vacation with nothing but hand luggage. What a load of bollocks? Mr. O’Leary, the vertically challenged multimillionaire and CEO of Ryanair, is threatening to stop us taking more than 10kg of hand luggage on holiday. If we want to put a suitcase in the hold, it could cost £50 extra. That’s $90 per suitcase……$90! Now I know we have to make revenue onboard our ships but can you imagine us charging for every suitcase and power strip you bring on the vessel?

Anyway, in an interview recently the Ryanair bastard……sorry….I meant the Ryanair boss … described our need for luggage as nothing more than a “state of mind.” We are allowed one suitcase each for this trip and anything over 15kg will mean a charge…a huge charge.

Now packing may be a state of mind if you have a butler to do it for you and a private plane to put it on but reality is a different story. For this three-day cruise we have to look the part…. A cocktail dress or two for her, a suit for me. Nice shirts. Nice shoes. And then there’s sun block and a diapers and baby food and toys and a camera and some underpants. You wouldn’t begrudge us a change of undies, now, would you, Mr. O’Leary? By the way… might want to think about selling underpants onboard your planes as I am sure the ones who are standing will need new ones after some nasty turbulence.

Let me finish with a special wish to my American friends for a very  Happy Fourth Of July……I hope you have a great family day celebrating killing my great, great, great, great grandfather. Personally, I wish we had won…….then I could get a decent cup of tea on the ships.

The Queen, The Mad Duke and the blind Prince with the jug ears and his horse…….sorry ………… wife………… would be living at the White House

The letter “U” will be reinstated in words such as “colour,” “honour,” and “Splendour.” Likewise, you will learn to spell “doughnut” without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise”

You would all say “bugger” instead of “daaaaamn.”

You would drive on the correct side of the road and eat with the fork in the left hand

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Only proper British Bitter should be called beer.  Budweiser should be referred to as “NearFrozenCamel’sPisseiser.”

The national sport would be cricket and Denny’s would serve Yorkshire Pudding and Spotted Dick………………. for breakfast.

I will see you in Venice on Tuesday and have a wonderful and fun holiday weekend

God Bless America

Your friend

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Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous, unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.

49 Responses to Holland…………………………………….. America

  1. Jo Myerly says:

    Hi John, I have to comment about the Carnival Magics’ transatlantic cruise. Dave and I are doing the 10/16/11 Europe and the 10/28/11 transatlantic back to back. I must admit we were really disappointed in Carnivals choice of home port for the Magic and the ports for the transatlanic cruise. I booked the 10/16 cruise the day it became available and camethisclosetocancellingit. You know I love Carnival. We are platinum and are working our way towards Milestone. I admit I am a cheap date (Dave will disagree – he thinks I am too expensive). Carnival washes my clothes and puts food and presents in my room. So I will stick with Carnival. But PLEASE take me to places I haven’t been to before. I admit my bucket list is short. I want to go to Africa. I want to see animal outside of a zoo. I want to see the pyramids and Egypt. I’d like to sail the rivers in Europe. I want to do these things on a Carnival cruise. I decided to stick with the Magic because there are still some places in Europe like Capri that I want to see. I figured I’d rather sail home than fly home. It may be my last chance to do a TA. Stock the library with lots of books. Show tons of movies in the theater and the big screen. Have lectures about all kind of subjects. Remember Mickey D on the South America cruise? He packed the house with his digital photography talks.
    I was really disappointed with the Panama Canal cruise on the Elation. Even at the cruise directors port talks he only highlighted 3 or 4 of the tours at each port. The movies on the tv were constanly repeated. Let’s face it the Chipmonk movie was lost with senior cruisers. It was boring. Loved Radu and his photos. The day he flew over the Canal was exciting.
    Carnival has got to start thinking outside the box.


  2. Dear Kye Thanks for keeping us informed about the cheap bastard. Keep posting.

  3. Carolyn Watson says:

    Hello John

    My husband and I were on the Conquest’s April 25, 2010 Western Caribbean cruise and had a blast! So much so that we are looking at taking the same cruise on October 30th for my birthday. Wish you could be out Cruise Director then!

  4. Peggy Lindsay Brousseau says:

    Hi John,
    Am still enjoying your blog and the pictures from the bloogers cruise on the Carnival Dream still make my kittle friend Diana smile, she loves to see herself the Dream Trophy, of which I set you pictures…
    Want to wish you Heidi and Kye a wonderful cruise.
    Unfortunately we will not be cruising for awhile as my Dad is doing poorly & since I am the last of his family the reponsibility falls to me.
    Know that I am torn knowing I can not feel happy about a cruise unless/until he has passsed on.
    Please continue to do your Blog it makes me smile and laugh. Many happy memories are with me of the cuirse your shared with us….Happy Cruising, Peggy

  5. The Cruzin2some says:

    Dear John,
    I new the day would come when these cheap airlines would figure out that they can cram more people into an airplane if we all stand. I can see it now. They will have those straps hanging from the ceilings like they do now on buses.

    Have a safe trip and tell Kye thanks for the great report at the start of todays blog. She is turning into quite the reporter. She will be the next kid to win the kid reporter thingy for the Carnival Breeze.

    Have a safe trip and I look forward to your reports from Holland America. Hey Heidi the Dutch dispatched Brazil WOOHOO!
    The Cruzin2some

  6. Stephanie says:

    I love the idea of a Weight Watchers cruise!! I would definitely book that one! I think it’s a great idea for the new Magic out of Galveston. (I’m partially biased since I could drive to the port…)

  7. Nancy says:

    Thank you, Kye, for a wonderful blog. You’re a very talented writer. And absolutely adorably cute.

    You can tell your Daddy that I would love a 7 day cruise to nowhere or even a 5 day. Sounds wonderful. I love sea days.


  8. dear kye, thanks for posting. we like to know what is going on, the “real” story! ha ha ha

    smiles, bonnie and prince charlie

  9. Cheryl Killian says:

    Ms KeyI knew you would be a good writer…it’s in your blood. Thanks for keeping us up on Mummy and Daddy. Do your best to make them behave on the plane and the cruise.

    I hope that Heidi gets to have a Royal Portrait. Surely Peter knows you well enough to get this opportunity for Heidi.

    Port or no ports..I haven’t sailed on the Carnival Victory because it is so port intensive…that to me defeats the purpose of vacationing/cruising. I love cruises with more sea days to relax and enjoy the ship activities. BUT thinking about this it applies more to itineraries I’ve done rather than ones I haven’t.

  10. CIGal says:


    I guess Ryanair is going to give new meaning to the term “standby passengers.” 🙂

  11. Juan & Maria Santana says:

    John please reply….

    We are still waiting for a reply to those couple of comments we sent you sometime at the end of May-early June, but this is just to tell you that we loved Kye’s blog…. We laughed like crazy while we were reading her comments! Kye’s writing skills, her humor, her attitude, her intelligence, and last but not least, her beauty and very important – her sincerity…. she calls the things as they are…. no meeting around the bushes….passing gas is a “f….” loud and clear…. a cheap bastard, likewise, etc., She has inherited all the plus traits – her beauty and brains from her Mom and the “almost x-rated traits from Dad! She is amazing. We dan’t hardly wait to see her in person!
    Best wishes for a Happt 4th of July for you and yours!

    The Santanas of Miami Bach

  12. retirementman says:

    You are great Kye. Keep on writing your daddy’s blog. You seem to really understand what is going on. Well done sweet child.
    John , I’m looking forword to the Niew Amsterdam. See you there.

    Paul F. Pietrangelo

  13. IndyMichelle says:


    I love, love, LOVE the idea of a 5-7 day CTN!!! Given the current menu of options, yes, I choose a cruise based on the ports visited – might as well go somewhere I’ve not yet been if possible. But the ship itself, and its wonderfully cheerful and attentive service, is the real destination for me. As the original questioner said, Carnival would surely make a mint in the casino, not to mention the spa, shops, bars, bingo, etc. Just my two cents…


  14. Kathy Wilson says:

    Hi John!

    As a blog thing newby I must tell you it is the thing I read before bedtime to relieve the daytime stress and put me in a good mood before sleep. A comment then a question.

    I took my mother on her first cruise (my 12th) on the Carnival Glory on the April 4th sailing for her birthday. She was certain the ship would sink adn she would have plenty of time to knit. She ws convinced she would hate it. By the 2nd morning she was hooked and we are now booked on the Spirit going to Alaska May 6 2010. The crew was wonderful! Our room steward – Gede – never failed to say hello and the CD James was marvelous! The captain even wished her a happy birthday and she wanted to bring him home!
    She was a trooper – even swimming with the stingrays on Cozumel on her 68th birthday.

    The one down side – for me – came later in the crruise. As I mentioned, I am not Platinum and my mother was on her first cruise. She won the bloddy black jack tounament and got a ship on a stick! On her first cruise! She tired to console me by buying me a stuffed Fun Ship Freddy doll which holds no candle to a ship on a stick! I am sailing on the Triamph on September 25 booking number 75PT50. Any chance of a ship on a stick?

    Best regards


  15. Dear Kye (Please reply)
    Keep writing on your Daddy’s blog…we love hearing from you! Since you mentioned having to listen to really silly music in the car, I thought I would ask….Did you recieve the special CD I sent you with your name in the music? I sent it about a month ago to the address listed on the Blog Thingy, and I just want to make sure it arrived. If not, I would love to send another so that you can make your daddy listen to your kind of music sometimes;) Please ask him to let me know via the blog or email if you recieved it and if not, is there a better address to send a replacement too? You write very well for a girl that just turned one year old, LOL! Keep it up:)

  16. Naomi says:

    Shame On You John For Going On A Different Cruise Lines….CCL is not going to like it.

  17. Kye, You are even funnier than your Daddy. Have a safe trip and have fun. Take care of Mum and Dad and keep Dad out of trouble.

    Ellen from Delaware

  18. Princess Susan says:

    Kye thanks for the blog! You write better than your daddy! I guess that’s where you get your talent from…thank goodness you got your beauty from mommy!

    John thanks for answering my question about the Weight Watcher’s cruise. At least I know there’s hope for it.
    Please have safe travel and leave Murphy alone!

    • Kathy M. says:

      Weight Watchers has done cruises with Carnival. Back in the 1990’s a group here in Oregon did a cruise, they went through the group divison of Carnival because they had 22 members go on the cruise.. I was unable to go on that cruise but when they got back that is all the group talked about for a couple of weeks. BTW, none of them gained any weight either.

      Hope this helps.

      Kathy M.

  19. Dixie says:

    You did very well Kye and your Daddy should use you more often to help him when he’s busy. Are you going to be on the Magic when it sails across the Atlantic next year helping your Daddy? Thanks John – she did a great job of letting us know how her Daddy is at home!

  20. SB in Nebraska says:

    Looking forward to your blogging from the Nieuw Amsterdam….maybe Kye can be the “youngest” blogger from the new ship!! 🙂

    Have fun….I’m jealous….

  21. Fun Dad says:

    Hi John: I believe that the people that have been on several cruises and have visited all the ports would enjoy a fun filled seven day cruise to no where. I know my wife and I would.

  22. Alice Sloan says:

    Dear Kye, you and Mum have your work cut out for you. Raising this Daddy to be a full grownup will be a real chore but it looks like you two are up for the challenge!
    Love from an admirer, Alice

  23. Frank and Bridie says:

    Daddy yells at other drivers and can only count to two! HA HA HA I love it! Sounds like me when I drive!

    Big Fans as Allways,
    Frank and Bridie

  24. Jeanette says:

    John, you have some of the Britian here in North America

    Canada is where you should be there…we still spell the correct way for both Brits and US–with or without the “U” or “ISE”. The Queen is our official head of state and just happens to be here now and celebrated Canada’s 143rd birthday on Thursday.

  25. John Williamson says:

    To further elaborate on the possible 6 or 7 day to no where cruise…. I ABSOLUTELY would book that in a heart beat…. My wife and I have previously discussed how neat that would be… besides, how many time do you have to jump over the horse poop in Nassau before that gets old….

  26. Carla says:

    Johh – please reply if you can

    Thanks so much for all the you do to keep all of us so well informed about the world of Carnival Cruises. My husband and I have so enjoyed all of our Carnival cruises and are doing our best to get to Platinum. In August we are booked on the Elation to celebrate our 25 wedding anniversary. Would there be any way that you could request a table for two in early dining for us? We would really appreciate any assistance that you can give us. I hope that you and your lovely family have a great cruise on board the New Amsterdam and that you enjoy the remainder of your vacation. It must be hard to be away from them while you work, but I’m sure it makes your time together even more special!

    Thanks again!


  27. Margie Tracy says:

    We would love a 5 or 7 day cruise to nowhere. We do book our cruises more based on the ship than the destination. It would be total relaxation and one huge sail and sign account. But worth it cause, we are on vacation. We would probably get more use out of the balcony we always book since we would have more time to enjoy it. It would truly be a vacation since we don’t have to worry about getting on and off the ship at the right time, no special types of clothes or shoes for the islands, etc. I vote yes and hope the majority does as well. Of course, you would have to be the Cruise Director to make the trip complete. Enjoy your 3 day cruise with the girls.

  28. peggy222 says:

    Dear John, you could not pay me nor give me a free cruise to sail to no where, nor would Mike. I have enough trouble getting him to go to Europe as you know, much less no where. I cruise for the ports, not just the cruise although I do love to cruise for so many reasons.

    I am so glad that your Kye wrote some of the blog today, very interesting to find out just what you do when you are in the car. She is such a talented little girl for being so young, only 1. But then she is your daughter and nothing your precious little girl is surprising. She comes from some very good people, you and Heidi.

    I hope you are having a wonderful time on your cruise. May all of you have smooth seas, starry nights and sunny days.

    Keep smiling John; you truly are one of the good guys.

    My best to Heidi and Kye.

    Peg Dunbar

  29. Janet Westrich says:

    Hi John, (Please Reply)
    We just got back from an Alaskan cruise and had a great time! I had to write to tell you how much we enjoyed our CD “Stu”!! He was hilarious! His humor really added alot to our cruise. We are also booked for the Magic for 9/2011 and am looking forward to you being our CD again! I agree with the lady above that having some historical informtion on the ports in Europe would be great. Also when we were with you on the baltic cruise, we suggested maybe having a class where we could learn some conversational phrases in the language of the ports we are going to. Some handouts of these phrases, etc. would be good to bring with us in port. I have 2 more questions for you:
    1. Do you have any information on the Carnival Breeze coming out in 2012.
    2. Is Carnival planning on putting the Comfort Series mattresses on all ships. The mattress we had on the Spirit for our Alaskan cruise was pretty uncomfortable. Thanks so much John! Janet

  30. cathy says:

    I am booked on the Magic in room 9472. It is classed as an 8D, but the agent at Carnival says it has a 75 foot balcony. It looks like it is a wrap around on the deck plans. Can you verify? I read blogs of the Dream that a partition had to be moved to make it a wrap around after it began cruising and passengers complained. What is the solid door to on the balcony pictures of the Dream? I also read it has no couch, thus I assume it compensates with a larger balcony. But the 8D category says it has a couch. Just don’t want to be shocked when we arrive with a short balcony.

  31. mydestiny!! says:

    hi john! (PLEASE REPLY)

    first off, let me say… if you ever open a carnival corporate office in chicago, please let me be the first to send you my application and resume. you see, i have recommended carnival cruises to many (and i do mean many) of my friends, family, coworker, random people i speak to at the check-out line, etc. They often ask me if i actually do work for carnival!!

    i always wanted to go on a cruise, so last year for summer vacation my friend and i booked a cruise on the carnival liberty. and i’ve never been the same since!

    i convinced my mom, sister, and aunt to go on a cruise this summer vacation. they finally agreed (probably just so i can stop annoying them). i booked us on the carnival destiny and then i soon wrote to you about my concerns about the ship (in your entry “hey jude”; i will copy and paste my original question at the end of this).

    anyways, i was wondering if it would be possible to please, please, get a table for 4 for the 6:00 dining? we leave on august 19th. i will leave you our info at the end of this post, but please don’t make it public, as i watch too many dateline/csi-type of shows.

    thank you so much! i read your blog every day! i am soooooo excited for this cruise and am very confident that my family will fall in love as well….. and then we can book a cruise where you are the cd!!!

  32. Barbara Schrader says:

    John, (please reply)

    We will be sailing on the Dream August 14th and can’t wait. This will be our 7th CCL cruise plus a few more back from the Old Days of the Mardi Gras…my how cruising has changed.

    Here is my question. I would love to do something speical for my husband while on board but I am at a loss. Here is our situation. We will be traveling with our family 2 cabins booked and in our cabin my beautiful daughter Jen will be with us. Jen is a “speical gal” (she’s 21) and we never go ANY where with out her. In turn we have never enjoyed a quiet dinner alone, an island tour, etc, as we always worry about Jen. We have our younger daughter with us Amandalyn (she 20) and she does a great job with her sister BUT you know no one can do as good as a Mom. I was going to make a reservation @ Art’s Steakhouse but was worried that if Jen is having a bad night we wouldn’t he able to go. Then I saw Chef’s Table and thought WOW that would be amazing BUT once again said “what if Jen had a bad day’?
    We never do something for ourselves with thinking of the impact it would have on Jen.

    So John any ideas? Is it possible to have a wonderful dinner served in your cabin on the balcony? Just want to show a little extra love to my husand without leaving Jen. A lot of husband and dads with special needs children are not involed with the children and the marriage often ends in divorce BUT my mine, John is amazing and the best dad on the planet. He is and wonderful husband and father to both of our girls!

    What do you think or do you have any ideas?

    Looking forward to our next high sea adventure,
    Barbara Schrader

  33. RonRN says:


    I would do a 7 day cruise to nowhere in a heart beat. I love sea days. I am one of those who does not get off the ship at every port either, it is nice to have the ship to yourself (nearly)



  34. Richard says:

    john/stephanie(s) please read and pass along.
    I just had an interesting conversation with a Milestone cruiser on Carnival. In addition to singing your praises, we also discussed loyalty programs on different lines, and he suggested that for those folks with 25+ cruises Carnival do some freebies, like free internet (some amount of time) free steakhouse dinner, and maybe a 6 pack of soda (instead of liquor) on the first day. The steakhouse idea seemed like a great one, as it would really say thanks for your loyalty in a very Carnival specific way.
    Just an idea, from a Milestone cruiser by way of a “cattle” cruiser.

  35. Don Casinger says:

    Hi John (Please Reply)

    I hope all is going well with you. I tend to lurk on your Blog not posting at all but I love reading your comments and the letters from your legions of fans.

    My wife and I are sailing on Splendor on 8/29, and our booking number is 85N9Q4. I am so excited about you being the Cruise Director for that sailing! Although we haven’t had the pleasure of sailing with you before, I’ve read about you for some time.

    I love to read about cruising, even when I’m not doing it, so I’m constantly roaming the internet reading reviews and looking at pictures. When I’ve got a cruise booked I go into over drive consuming everything I can about the ship we are sailing on. It’s always helped me in the past; I don’t spend all seven days of the cruise learning the ins and outs of the ship and its activities. When we board I already have a pretty good idea about what we want to do and how to get around the ship so we have more time for fun and spend less time being lost. Doing my research for this cruise was how I found out about your blog, and I’ve been a fan ever since.

    This is our third cruise on CCL. Our first cruise was 10 years ago, on Elation, for our twentieth wedding anniversary. We followed that with an 8 day cruise on Spirit, and now finally it’s off to Splendor for our 30th anniversary. I’m sorry to say that we sailed on one other cruise line during the last 10 years, but all it did for me was to convince me that Carnival is the place to be!

    This brings me to my question… As I mentioned above, my wife and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary on August 30th. I’ve already booked a reservation at The Pinnacle Steakhouse for that special evening but I was wondering if you had any other ideas to make that night and the cruise extra special for the love of my life?

    I’m truly a lucky man, I met my wife when she was still in high school (yes I’m a couple of years older than her…) and we’re still together 30 years later with two grown sons! Now this week is a prime opportunity to show her how really special she is to me.

    Thanks in advance for any advice you can give me. I hope we get to meet you while we are on board so I can personally thank you for all you do for Carnival and its customers.


  36. Naomi says:

    Hello John, Please read.

    Hi John I took my very cruise on Carnival way back in 1991 aboard the Jubilee and I’am wondering if Carnival would still have it’s Video’s of the cruise Archived but I don’t remember the month and dates My Aunty and I Sailed on…We stayed in cabin number E90 and it was a 7 day cruise to the Mexican Riveria from San Pedro, Ca. so if you know anything on how I can obtain the cruise video. It would be very nice.

    Thank You.

  37. Beth Flynn says:

    I’m a big YES vote on the longer CTN. The ship is definitely a destination. I think it would be wonderful for those ‘cheaper’ alternative years. 🙂

  38. The Cruzin2some says:

    Dear John,
    I don’t know about the seven (7) day cruise to nowhere but I do wish that there were several of the two (2) day cruise to nowhere so that we could just blast off and get credit for a cruise and not spend too much money and get a shot in the arm so to speak. It would be a real pick me up.
    The Cruzin2some

  39. Gary Nolan says:

    Dear John ( please reply)

    I am a long time lurker to your blog thingy but this is my first time posting. Please do dot change anything you do. I read it every day and it really helps pass the time until my next Carnival Cruise. On August seventh me and my wife and 2 of my three children will be taking our 7th Carnival cruise on the Carnival Dream and we can not wait. We have also done a couple others on the something of the seas and each time I wonder why. Although we also have a great time I wonder why we did it as they offer a similiar experience but nowhere near the value for the money.
    I really hope to cruise with you someday and I will definately look to see where you are before we book our next cruise. I do have a favor ( spelt correctly) Could you possibly see if you can get us a table or booth for 4 on our cruise on August 7th 2010 near a window we are in cabin numbers 2334 & 2336
    One last thing, if you could tell us which machines in the casino are the loosiest I would really appreciate it! LOL I will try and write a small review once we are back.

    Thanks for all you do and I hope you have a great time with your girls,

    Gary & Colleen

  40. John, a cruise to nowhere sounds great but I think a one port deep southern would be a least somewhere to go.

    BIG Ed

  41. Gary says:


    7 days at sea. Yea, man!

  42. The Cruzin2some says:

    Dear John,
    Not really this is for Heidi. The Dutch have made it to the finals!! I bet John can not stand all of the Orange and Blue decorations.
    The Cruzin2some

  43. i wanna be that kid!

  44. Barbara Truitt says:

    In Feb 2010 we took our 7th carnival cruise we have always been very happy until this Feb. w overlooked last year when
    the “Liberty” could not dock into Jamaica even though that was where we really wanted to go but we understand weather. this year we attempted on the “Destiny” to go to Jamaica..they gave us a sheet of paper at boarding saying we were not going to Jamaica because of engine problems we also found out we were not going to Grand Cayman they refunded us a mere $50 pp. We went to Cozumel, Mexico twice on this 9 day cruise. There were many brides on board that had planned to get married in Jamaica that brought a lot of family and had to change plans. The morale on this cruise from guests to the staff was down. Feb 6th is our wedding anniversary and my birthday and we looked forward to our cruise, but we are so disappointed that I have not even looked up where we want to go next Feb. Not sure we want to even go on Carnival. Plus if the “Destiny” was so broken why did it go right back out or even out at all?

    Milt & Barb Truitt

  45. Wanda says:

    John, please reply.

    Have you considered publishing some of your best blogs which could be sold in the gift shops on Carnival ships? I would certainly buy a copy and ask you to autograph it for me when I sail with you again. I’m Platinum, and I’ll sail Carnival until……


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