In much the same way there is no point in me telling you I would look pretty damn hideous in fish net stockings and nipple tassels, there is no point in mentioning that my Easy Jet flight is delayed.
My taxi ride from the Queen Victoria to Glasgow airport was interesting not just because of the stunning scenery that is Scotland but also because my driver was obviously a massive Michael Jackson fan……….not something that you would expect from a large Scottish man called Hugh. As I listened to his greatest hits and as Hugh sang along I thought about what Michael left behind. For instance, he taught us that spending thousands of dollars to live in an oxygen tent is a total waste of money. Anyway ……..Hugh got me to the airport in his 10 year old Ford Mondeo in quick time while the brand new Easy Jet plane is nowhere to be seen ………as bloody usual.
I need to apologize to a reader called Megan who was upset at references to my bowel movement of which I will not be talking about today except to say that I ate too much last night at the amazing British Buffet on Lido. I had bangers and mash, and a huge plate of Chicken Tikka Masala which although it originates from India is now considered a traditional British dish. Anyway, I had a huge plate and like all the food on the Queen Victoria it was amazing. Unfortunately though I am paying the price as my arse is like a collapsed mine shaft – sorry Megan.
Anyway, I will be back tomorrow with my last blog from the UK before I leave for LA. I will answer 10 questions, have a chat about the Carnival Splendor and a story about a chap called Jimmy.
I have missed the girls a lot and later today, Easy Jet permitting, Kye will be sitting on my knee watching Barney.
This is surely the way forward with contraception and everywhere Trojan and Durex is sold there should be a big sign on which stands a huge photo of the grinning purple dinosaur ……..with the slogan………if you don’t want to watch me………wear one of these.
Goodnight.
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
What an awesome idea john, make teenagers watch hours upon hours of barney over and over again. What a good idea!
Big Fans as Allways,
Frank and Bridie
Ok, I’ve changed my mind….Murphy doesn’t follow you around, he/it lives on Easy Jet!
I lived with my daughter loving Barney for six years! I know how you feel about him…so I will end my reply today with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you….won’t you say you love me too!
John, please reply
As ever my gratitude for your blog and best wishes to your family.
You were kind enough to reply to my comment about the decision to increase the single supplement for 1A categories and you passed the information onto the relevant people that make the decisions. Many many thanks to you for doing so. I have a follow up to this.
I have booked a Royal Caribbean Trans Atlantic cruise for late next year. I won’t be surprised if it is not as enjoyable as my previous Carnival cruises which I have been fortunate enough to take and I know they sometimes look down on us Carnival people for no good reason. to be honest I would prefer Carnival but for one fact, the price.
My RCI cruise is working out at about $90 a day, for the 13 night trans Atlantic sailing at the end of October 2011.
The closest itinerary that Carnival offer is the Carnival Magic trans Atlantic around the same time that year which works out at about $104 a day.
Obviously I am not comparing like with like here, the Carnival Magic sailing is the inaugural trans Atlantic, which obviously makes it more special.
Also the Magic is a longer cruise, but there is still a total price differential of around $500 between them and that is taking a “Promenade” inside stateroom on the whatever of the sea’s versus a normal inside 1A on the Carnival Magic.
This is only a single incidence where RCI out price Carnival and not necessarily indicative of a trend and after which Carnival may continue to offer the best value options, but I still wish to bring this to your attention in the hope that you will be kind enough to pass it onto your colleagues who deal with such matters. I really enjoy Carnival cruises and hope to be able to afford to return to them as soon as possible, thus I wish to do my little bit to encourage that possibility along.
The final matter I wish to bring to your attention is that RCI have a UK based operation and thus were able to offer me a fly cruise option from Dublin as well as other airports in the UK. They also have a UK call center, so that does make dealing with them a good bit easier. Again, you are not the man responsible for this and I doubt the UK/ Ireland market is as important to Carnival as it is to RCI, but my appreciation would be with you if you could also suggest to the powers that be that such matters could help them tap into the UK/ Ireland market.
Many thanks for anything you can do for this John.
Kindest regards and please keep up the good work.
Sean
I was laughing myself silly over the visual I got of you in fish net stockings and nipple tassels…. Just when I finally stopped laughing and could see through the tears… you mention your collapsed mine shaft…. I can’t wait for the BC4!
Barney certainly would be a good deterrent on why to use birth control. But with the raging hormones teens today have, do we really think they would watch Barney?
John, love to your girls, make sure you kiss them for us.
Ahhhh… the black cloud that is Easy Jet. Thank God I don’t have to tolerate those clods. I’d be in prison for sure!!
Please tell the girls we said hello and send our love!
Ciao!
Host Mach
John, reply when/if you find time.
Your last 3 blogs have been blasts of fresh? air. The first about the Nany State in the UK is an accurate description of what most of the UK population think but cannot put in writing for fear of being hung, drawn & quartered! I nearly fell on the floor laughing over my arm rests on my chair.
Your second blog was a terrific insight to the world of Cunard & its British lineage. I am glad that you now see Camilla as a human being & not the ugly duckling or marriage breaker as was portrayed by factions of the UK media.
Your link to You’ll Never Walk Alone provided me with a nostalgic reflection on my youthful years. To hear Gerrry Marsden lead the singing that became tumultuous & overwhelming, reminded me of my attendance at Beatles, Gerry & the Pacemakers, Hollies, Kinks, Moody Blues & Roy Orbison concerts when the audience screamed in delight rather than under the influence of drugs.
Of course you are much younger than me & it will be a memory to your parents rather than to you. As you are a CD who is involved with onboard musical productions, I assume that you are aware that the Liverpool team anthem originates from Roger & Hammerstein’s musical “Carousel” whose lyricists penned one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard entitled, “If I Loved You”, from the same musical.
I was a member of CAOS (Carluke Amateur Operatic Society) for over 10 years in my past life & took part in various productions in the chorus, cameo & lead roles & in our offshoots for pantomime productions.
However, like you I love Jamaica & Bob Marley must be the biggest Hit when it comes to the Best Choice of Music & Rhythm for Cruisers. I cannot seem to find a cruise that includes Ocho Rios from my base
My grandchildren were more into the Wiggles and Tellitubbies…they are all equally as goofy for adults but the kids love them!
Dear John,
I love You,
If You Hate Me
You better wear
One of these!
Cause if you don’t
you’ll be watching Barney all day,
With a baby in each arm
and another on the way!
That will stop the Baby Boom quick!
The Cruzin2some
Hi John,
New to your blog, this probably isn’t the proper place to drop you a line but for the life of me I cannot find any other way!
I am eagerly awaiting our second cruise w/Carnival on the Conquest 1/23/11. Perhaps I should stay away from the internet because everything I am reading is telling me I have chosen quite a loud, dreadful cabin-6363. Ahhh! I guess I am wondering what my options are as an ES rate. I unfortunately booked through a TA (will do direct from here on out) and seem to get a different answer about my options anytime I ask. Can you point me in the right direction here? So appreciate any insight you can give! Thanks:)
John, PLEASE REPLY TO Amandas post above:
Amanda, this is the place to ask John questions, Just start with “Please Reply”. He is about 4 weeks behind, so leave plenty of time. Welcome to the blog!
Ron
Hi Amanda,
I also booked a cabin at an early saver rate. When I booked (directly through Carnival), I was told that I could change my room as long as I stayed in the same category. So you should be able to switch to a new room as long as the room is in the same category. It looks like your room is an 8B, so you could switch to any available 8B room with no penalty. I can’t imagine that it would be any different just because you booked through a TA. I hope this helps!
Dear Amanda,
Welcome to the Blog. If you want an answer from John you need to post “JOHN PLEASE REPLY” on the top of your post. This will then go into a group for him to answer and it takes about three weeks to get an answer as there are so many people wanting him to address an issue so please be patient. If anyone else has any ideas we usually are not bashful in giving new folks our thoughts. Again welcome and have a great cruise. If you are worried about noise in the cabin. Take soft ear plugs.
The Cruzin2some
Thank you all for the replys-appreciate it! I actually went back and tried to delete my post/question, thinking it wasn’t the correct place to ask, but to no avail. So thanks for the kind replys!
Normally I wouldn’t be concerned with noise (getting older but still like to play!) but we are taking our 4.5 year old on this cruise and if he doesn’t sleep, no one will sleep-LOL. I thought I did well by looking at the cruise deck maps but couldn’t tell there was a bar/band stage right below us-yikes!
Anyway, I will call the TA, get someone new who doesn’t know what they are doing and let them know that I can change my cabin according to Carnival…wish me luck!
Thnaks again!
If you put that heading at the top of your post does it not post on here publicly? I’ve tried to post the same thing 3 times w/that heading and it isn’t showing up.
John, Please respond
Not sure if this is the right page but here goes. I’m currently booked on my 2nd cruise on Carnival Valor 08/29. I’m booked with a group of 13 people who cruise range from vacation, anniversary, and a few of us including myself this is our birthday gift to ourselves. My question I’m hoping to get a reply on is there anyway that we as a group can get the Behind-the-Fun tour in anyway if possible. Thanks for the time to read my question/request. Love the blog and most of them just have me cracking up. Keep up the good work and I wish nothing but much love and happiness with heidi and the girls. once again thanks for the time.
Hi John,
As usual, I will keep you in my prayers while you fly over the pond and across the USA to the beautiful Carnival Splendor,
Take care my friend,
Kathy M.
Greetings John: (Pleaes respond)
I know it’s a bit early still….do we have a Halloween Party schedule yet? Last year we were greatly disappointed as the Halloween parties were cut from the 3 sailings leading up to Halloween down to 2 sailings and we got cut out. I am afraid the same thing might happen this year. We are on the 10/16/10 sailing on the Dream. Would really like it if our sailing was going to have a Halloween party this year.
Hi John, Just wanted to thank you for everything, We have had an amazing summer on two different cruise ship/
Our fist cruise was on the Miracle and Big Sexy was a co- director – Now he is all ours now in the freedom.
\
Even for a ‘Quickie’ , …it was satisfying. Thanks!
Dear John,
Just a quick note to wish you a safe journey. I have some catching up to do on your blog. Alyssa had minor surgery and I’ve been wearing my Nurse hat in addition to the many hats I wear for my job, plus of course my Mommy bonnet.
Godspeed, John, and please give my best to your girls.
Laura
Hi John,
Please kindly reply.
I wrote to you sometime ago regarding help with dinner table assignment, and was told to request again closer to my sail date. Husband, daughter (2yo), both in-laws, and I will be traveling on the Carnival Glory to Canada/new england, 25Sept2010 sailing. I am hoping that you can help us confirm our dinner table so we may sit together. Our room would be 6422 and 6432. Any effort will be much appreciated.
I am enjoying your blog, keep up the good work.
Best regards,
Amy
“John please reply”
I will be on the Carnival Splendor with you for the Oct. 31-Nov. 7 sailing. Could you please let me and my group know when the elegant nights are and when the Halloween party will be. I have been told in past years the Halloween dress up is during one of the elegant nights. I would like to know if this is what you will be doing for this cruise so I know how many elegant nights I have to pack for. There is a group of 14 of us (6 cabins) and 3 of us will be celebrating our birthdays so this should be a great party. I can’t wait to meet you in person. Also could you find out if Carnival still does early check in on the Queen Mary? I did this on my Carnival Pride cruise in 2009 and would like to do it again if Carnival is still doing this.
Bye for now John and see you in Oct-Nov.
Hey John :
( Please reply ) – being new to this blog thing – I did not know that I had to put that ( please reply ) in if I expected you to answer me. Anyway – I am the Guy who stopped you in the Queens Room hall way on borad the Queen Victoria a couple of weeks ago. We discussed our being on the Liberty ( Rome / Med ING Cruise ) where you showed “The Titanic ” as the movie on the Lido big screen our first night at sea…. HA
We are booked on the Magic 10/28/2011 for the T/A – and YOU said to keep in touch so that when the time gets closer you may be able to help me out with “somehing” for my wife – as this will be our 30th
Wedding Anniv. cruise… Pope – Plano, TX..