There are signs that your life has reached a certain level. You haven’t visited the dentist in 11 years, though you have a hole in your tooth so big you can rest a buffalo’s tongue in it. You still have the same pair of underpants that you spent your honeymoon night in. And you have more leads, chargers and adaptors than a Radio Shack superstore yet none of them fit the thing you want to charge.
This is probably what life coaches would call “poor personal management.” I prefer to call it “just being total crap.”
There are those who put CDs (compact discs not cruise directors) back in their cases, whose sink doesn’t have toothpaste marks round it from the night before, who never have crumbs from a BLT on the Carnival comforter and whose cabin floor doesn’t look like a Payless shoe store. I have without doubt become a cabin snob over the last few years which is really not good….. I used to live in a small crew cabin like this………yet know it seems impossible for me to do so.
Being crap makes life harder and as I sit here in my snug crew cabin surrounded by chargers, shoes, underpants and three suitcases and still with half the shower curtain imbedded in my arse ………..I know that without Heidi any place I live will always look like this regardless of size.
I am not a happy camper this morning and not only because of the state of my cabin and my desire to get going as CD but also because I had terrible stomach acid in the night….. because I ate garlic. The captain invited me to dinner and I was horrified to discover that everything was cooked with lashings of garlic. And I loathe, detest and revile garlic nearly as much as I loathe, detest and revile people who throw trash on the floor. I want garlic banished from the ships and indeed from society, for every clove to be rounded up and nuked.
Because it is revolting. Not the taste – I accept it can be pleasant – but the smell. God, the smell. Especially when dancing on the breath of an early morning guest who says an up close and personal “good moooorrrnnniiinng” to you at the coffee shop. I would rather be sprayed with Mace or have a bucket of skunk poo poured over my head.
And yet, have you noticed that everyone stinks of it these days? Guests, crew, children, donkeys? There’s a global conspiracy. You go to Lido for a lunchtime salad – a salad, for God’s sake …….. then notice that people are turning away, retching.
This is when you discover that the peppers or the tomatoes have secretly been soaked in some rancid dressing. “Garlic infused olive oil.” I am surprised our chefs haven’t been charged with assault. It’s the same on land……the world has gone garlic mad.
They are now even sneaking garlic into desserts, which is just perverted. And in California there is a restaurant called the Stinking Rose…..which serves everything in garlic and I mean everything. Even if they served Megan Fox’s bottom in a garlic sauce I just couldn’t eat it.
My sympathies are with Dracula and Silvio Berlusconi, who reportedly hates the smell and is obsessed with minty breath. Good chap. I cheered when I heard about the recent campaign in Italy to have garlic-free restaurants. The French of course eat garlic like we eat ummm……French Fries…………which is another reason never to go France.
There will be those bloggers who say “we love garlic, we want more garlic.” Well maybe as well as smoking and non-smoking lounges we should have garlic and non-garlic lounges and cabins as well. It’s one thing to enjoy your food…… but do you have to sentence the rest of us to the breath penalty?
And on that note and as shall vacate the cabin so that Ernesto my cabin steward can try to achieve the impossible and tidy up the cabin……..I think he should just not bother…….poor sod. So, time to head up to the conference room, plug the laptop in and answer some questions.
OK, here I am and I have to say a huge thank you to the IT guy who wrote on the blog that I should mark my pad thingy with a Z as in Zorro and that this should stop my cursor thingy jumping all over the place. And bugger me………it worked. Thanks Pismo Jim……..a solid gold plastic trophy and a lifetime supply of Tofu is on the way.
Let’s crack on with those questions.
Bob Asked:
Hello again John….PLEASE REPLYMy wife and myself are scheduled for our 4th Carnival Cruise Aug 29, 2010 on the Valor. We also sailed on the Liberty last August into Labor Day. The reason I mention these dates is because on August 31, 2002 my wife lost her son in a tragic motorcycle accident and until last year when I decided to take her on a Carnival Cruise she has had a very difficult time dealing with it. Thanks to the fun staff on the Liberty she had a terrific vacation and although her thoughts were with her son on that tragic anniversary day the atmosphere on the ship made for a great time. Prior to sailing last year I asked you to try to arrange our dining at a table with other couples and the maitre d did a fine job and we met 3 other couples that were all different age groups so I would like to request that you help to get us assigned to another table with 2 or 3 other couples. We are confirmed for early dining.
Not to take too much of your time but I was wondering if you knew what time in the AM the basketball court opens and are the basketballs available anytime. On my last cruise on the Crown Princess in April the courts were always open and the balls were left on the court. But I think I remember having difficulty finding the basketballs on the Liberty. Or should I bring my own.
Probably by the time you read this you will have returned from your vacation and I will be getting packed for mine which I feel will become an annual event for us. By the way, we need more baby pics so we can share watching Kye grow.
John Says:
Hello BobI am sure that the anniversary date of the tragic loss of your son will always and forever be a day of sadness and reflection. That is why we are so honoured that you have chosen to cruise with us again so that you can enjoy the fun and relaxation that a Carnival cruise can bring. I will gladly ask the maitre d to do his best to reserve a table as you requested. The basketball court on the Carnival Valor opens from 7 am to 6 pm. We have to close it at this time because the Steakhouse is directly below and the noise from above can be somewhat disturbing to the people eating there. There will be plenty of basketballs so don’t worry about bringing your own. Have a great time and please tell your wife that she is in our thoughts.
Best wishes to you all
JohnGrizel Robertson Asked:
John, please reply.I posted shortly after my return from my BtoB on C Victory in early June.
There have been many Blogs from you over the last few months that have contained items that are close to my heart & with which I can relate to you because I was born, brought up, lived & worked full time (for over 41 years) in the UK .
Sadly, although I read your Blog & comments regularly, I am so drained by my work commitments, I do not have the time to respond on a regular basis.
However, I am becoming intensely annoyed with past singles’ guests complaining about paying 200% occupancy rates.
Having embarked on my last 5 cruises as a single occupant of a balcony stateroom, I have paid around 220% of the double occupancy rate for the privilege of living in a basic balcony cabin, despite booking several shore tours whilst on board.
A BtoB cruise from the UK costs me around $5,400, when flights are included! I shall be double platinum on BC4 but will gain nothing other than enjoying your humour. Why don’t these cheapskates, who hound you not realise that they must pay for their vacations at the going rate & stop living in cloud Cuckoo Land.
John, if I lived in mainland US, I would have qualified for so many discounts from which I am excluded because I live in the UK.
I am a loyal Carnival cruiser who cannot embark on 4/5 cruise per annum because I live so far away & still work for a living. Your 1A category cruisers seem to think that they have special Status!
I am sorry if I sound angry, but I do think that US citizens believe that they should be given priority over any loyal cruiser who has spent considerably more on their Vacations than the whiners who believe that a 4 hour flight is unacceptable to their embarkation port.
John, you know the problems. Please acknowledge & highlight them.
I have pre-booked on BoB, BC 4 & C Magic (9day) & paid the deposits but I cannot access my BC4 booking because I do not have my reservation number. This is not acceptable. If I have made a reservation and paid the minimum deposit, I am wholly entitled to view my itinerary etc.
John Says:
Hello Grizel RobertsonI am pretty sure that I replied to you already and that our postings have crossed. However, I wanted to clarify that I totally feel and understand your frustration Grizel and I wanted you to know that your comments have been passed along to the right people. You are a true Carnival fan and I hope that things work out so that you can continue to enjoy the fun for all Carnival experience. As for Bloggers Cruise 4 booking you have made I am not sure what is happening there so please allow me to get someone to help you and they will be in touch soon. Until then I remain at your service.
Best wishes
JohnDavid Vigue Asked:
Hello John, Please ReplyI recall this handsome Brit calling a cover-all BINGO game for a free cruise while on our Carnival Destiny Cruise in January 1997. I took notes, and when I got home my kids school asked me to call the bingo night. Wow, using some of the jokes I got from all my Carnival Cruise trips did not work. Those “lady’s” took it far too seriously. You would have thought that they didn’t go there for the fun. I still go to bingo on my Carnival Cruise, and my wife will play sometimes even though we have never won.
My request from you is this, and it has nothing to do with bingo. We are sailing on Aug 22 Carnival Freedom and I need to be sure we don’t get a booth, as I am shall we say per a previous blogger “Fluffy”. I don’t care if it is upper, lower, table for 2, 4, 6 or 8, only that it be a table with chairs. Any help you can give me would be great, and I thank you in advance.
I forgot to tell you that on our January cruise, we got to see the show that had the dancers dressed like choir members singing the old hymn taken from Ludwig van Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”. We loved it, and you should know this, I am and have been for the last 25 years a church choir director. I left the show humming the tune. Great job indeed. So, that said, don’t take people who complain about everything to heart. My wife and I have concluded that it is some people’s idea of fun to BEEF. (That’s complain in English).
I love the blog, and look forward to reading it every day. Having sailed with you 3 times, I would love to sail with you again in the future, and maybe we could do the “tummy bump”.
Our best to you and your family,
Your Friend,
Dave VigueJohn Says:
Hello Dave VigueIt has been a long time since I called a game of bingo. It used to be fun when I did though and maybe it is time to do so again. I know that some of our booths can be a bit tight for people like us…….Big Ed calls us extra medium……..and I will ask the maitre d to assign you a table rather than a booth. I want to thank you so much for your kind words and knowing how much you enjoy the blog makes me very happy indeed. Have a wonderful cruise and maybe one day we can indeed to the tummy bump thing.
Best wishes to you and the family
JohnRositer11 Carnival-Liferis Asked:
Please RespondAs always great blog John. I don’t care what anyone says. This is your blog keep doing it your way!!! I have 2 questions. When does the Pride go into dry-dock and for what changes. Second who will be the cruise director August 29th- Sept. 5?
Thanks John.
Rositer11John Says:
Hello Rositer11 Carnival-LiferisThanks for the words of support, it means a lot. The Carnival Pride will enter dry dock in November. The work will be routine maintenance however there will be a chance for the crew to give a really good clean and refresh to the inside and outside of the vessel. The cruise director for August 29 will be my good mate Kirk Benning who I know you will enjoy. Please let me know if you need anything before you sail again.
Best wishes
JohnKathy B Asked:
Hi John – Please reply (not urgent)On taking parents cruising – our greatest regret in our cruising history is that we discovered it too late to take our parents. We took our first cruise in 2004 and booked our second cruise with DH’s dad for summer 2005, realizing how much he would enjoy it. Unfortunately, he was diagnosed with stomach cancer a few months after we booked and was gone several weeks later. We still take cruises where we remark on how much FIL or MIL would have loved being on board.
As for Bingo, I don’t play but it doesn’t bother me one way or the other. So many folks on our cruises enjoy it; I wouldn’t change it at this point.
Now for my “please reply” part: We just disembarked Carnival Pride Sunday and had a wonderful time. Really, all of the ports and the on-deck activities were good and we were never lacking for activities or entertainment – or just being able to hang out. We were able to experience the Chef’s Table and I would recommend it for anyone that appreciates leisurely dining and good food. It was an experience! We knew we were signing up for a 7-course dinner, but we didn’t realize that the appetizers in the galley didn’t count toward the seven courses….
Kirk and Jaime had a Q&A session on the last sea day, which was well attended. They are both energetic and clearly show that they enjoy their jobs, which is nice in a time when so many people are just “making do” with jobs they don’t like very much. I also told them about how much I enjoy it when they contribute to your blog. Carnival is lucky to have both Kirk and Jaime.
I did get the feeling that the wait staff is being pressed a bit too far. The main example for us was the bar staff in the dining room – our server was great, but it seemed clear to us that he had too many tables to attend. There were a few nights at the beginning of the cruise when we received no bar service at all or where the bar server arrived well after food had been ordered.
The other comment I’d offer relates to embarkation. We’re Platinum – this was our 12th cruise and we have cruises 13 and 14 already booked. We’re sold on the value of a Carnival cruise vacation. As Platinum pax, we were able to get through the document processing quickly, and an embarkation staff member arrived to escort us to the waiting area. While we were walking, a passenger in the waiting area approached our escort to ask a question – and the escort completely blew her off. “Sorry, can’t stop – I’m with VIPs!”
Now, I just felt funny about this. The passenger who needed information could very well have been a new Carnival cruiser, and this experience could have made the difference between booking a next Carnival cruise and deciding on another vacation. Meanwhile, there we were – the “VIPs” who really wouldn’t have minded if the escort had stopped briefly (especially since the ship was late boarding). My own thought is that the escort should have stopped briefly, listened to her question (it may have been fairly simple, after all) and, if not so simple, asked another member of the embarkation staff to help.
As for what you post on the blog while being “landlocked”: I enjoy it!
John Says:
Hello Kathy BI have said this loads of times here on the blog thingy and I will say it again now. The postings made by people like you, experienced Carnival cruisers are so, so valuable to us and your posting highlights that. The staff member who brushed aside the guest’s question was totally wrong to do so and I will certainly make sure that the manager of embarkation in Baltimore sees this comment and takes corrective action. There is no doubt that the dining staff work hard and the sections they have can make them very busy indeed. You know, I have noticed something these past few years that never used to happen. If second seating was advertised at 8:15 pm then by 8:20 pm everyone would be seated. These days that is not the case and it appears that people are arriving at their tables up to 30 minutes after the opening time. This obviously puts extra pressure on the team head waiter and his or her assistant. Now this isn’t a defence to the comments you made but it is certainly something I feel is worth mentioning. Has anyone else noticed this?
I will pass your comments regarding the bar service in the dining room along to the proper folks at Carnival as these observations were most helpful. Thank you for being so loyal to Carnival and I am glad you enjoyed the dynamic duo of Jamie and Kirk.
I hope you had a fantastic time and that we will see you again soon
Best wishes
JohnBrenda Asked:
John replyHave you seen the poll on cruise critic that has members voting on if you should continue http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1229131&page=1
I thought it important that you see what people are saying about you and what you do on your blog. I voted that you should stop doing reservations and free gifts because it’s unfair on the rest of us.
Thanks
BrendaJohn Says:
Hello BrendaYes, I have seen this and indeed another blogger posted the link yesterday. I appreciate everyone’s opinion and while I don’t agree that I should stop helping people I understand that everyone has the right to express their thoughts and vote accordingly. I will say that it is not unfair only in the sense that I try to help everyone if they ask. If they don’t ask…….I can’t help them.
Best wishes and thanks for taking the time to write.
JohnMIKE Asked:
John, (Please reply)Love reading your Blog daily… Hope you can do something for me, My Wife, My Daughter, and my Son-in Law
We are sailing on MY CARNIVAL Triumph on the 21st of next August. Unfortunately I don’t know My Daughters. Is there any way that you might be able to arrange a table for 4 at the back of the ship for us, I think we should be linked together…Also, the last sea day is Roberts birthday..Could you get him a ship on a stick or something like that for his Birthday? I know this is short notice so I understand if you can’t make it happen. Any help that you could do for us will be greatly appreciated
Mike
John Says:
Hello MikeI will be happy to help and will ask the maitre d to assist you with your table request. I will be happy to send Robert a solid gold plastic trophy. I hope he has a wonderful birthday and that you have a brilliant cruise.
Best wishes to all
JohnJustin Slagle Asked:
John,I really enjoy reading you blog thingy, I was wondering if you could help me get a small table on my cruise August 29th on the Conquest, I work nights and my Wife works a normal daytime shift, and it would be nice if we could sit together as family during this cruise.
Thanks for your help
JustinJohn Says:
Hello Justin SlagleIndeed I will do my best so that you and your wife can spend some quality time together.
Best wishes and have a brilliant cruise.
JohnSierra Asked:
Hi John (Please Reply)I have some exciting news and a question. First the exciting news. Like you, my husband is a diabetic trying to lose some weight and get healthy. I’m so proud of him (and you!) for working towards a healthier lifestyle. He has been accepted into a weight loss program at the Joslin Diabetes Center in Boston, Massachusetts. The 13 week program will help us both manage what we eat. So here’s the question: Can we get carb/fat/calorie information for the meals in the dining room and at the buffets? I know the MDR offers spa menu items (and they look wonderful!) but does Carnival have the nutrition info for the other menu items as well? We will be sailing on the Valor on October 10th.
Thank you so much for your blog thingy. It really brightens my day to read your posts!
SierraPS. I came across a very rude guests services rep (in the special needs department). Should I tell someone?
John Says:
Hello SierraMany congratulations on your husband’s weight loss and his fight to keep his sugar levels down. I know how much of a challenge this can be so please send him my congratulations. The Lido Deck menu is varied of course so I am not sure what items you specifically want me to check for you. I do know that if you ask a line chef…..by this I mean the people who serve the food on Lido …..they will not have the facts that you want. However, if you ask your waiter in the dining room, he or she will be able to check with the head chef and he will pass on the required information. Certainly this is possible and if you can think of any items you would like information on before you sail please let me know.
In reply to your P.S. question…..yes……please do tell us the details on this situation. I apologize that you felt someone was rude so please tell me who and what happened and I will address this with the right people.
I am proud of your husband and I hope you continue to enjoy the blog together.
Please let me know if you need further help.
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today. You know, ever since that poll on Cruise Critic I feel a bit guilty when I answer a question asking for help. I am not going to stop……it’s just a bit disconcerting knowing that some Cruise Critic readers are not happy that I am doing so……I hate upsetting people.
OK, so it turns out that the plan to have the aft pool area an adults only center has it appears been tried here before and from what I hear it would have been successful except that it was not enforced properly. This time it will be and in fact having spoken about it with the team here they are all ready to make this happen. I read your comments with interest yesterday and saw that Janey (okgirl) posted the fact that the tandoori and the deli are at the aft section and she is correct. Yep, there will be families eating there and I absolutely do not want that to stop. What I do want is the pool and whirlpools to be adults only. I don’t want to stop the kids having fun of course and with our water park, splash pool and main pool, fun with water is everywhere. I envision the adults cooling down in the water and in the beach effect area and enjoying live music there. Anyway, let me give this a try and I will report back as to how it works. Oh, and just one more thing from yesterday’s comments…..a big hug from me to Kitty……who lost her job yesterday. I wish you much success in finding new employment.
As you know I have never been here on the West Coast before and yet it is quite extraordinary how many guests have recognized me either because of the blog or in the most part because they have cruised with me before. Many have said they cruised with me on ships out of Florida homeports which sort of baffled me because they all seem to be from California……. maybe they have only just realized that they have an ocean. Anyway, I have spoken to a lot of them and there are lots of wishes for me to do something on stage this week and I have asked Goose if I can I may do the bedtime story tomorrow………we shall see what happens.
I was talking to Kelvin and Justine Fairclough who have recently discovered our blog thingy who highlighted the fact that they were on their first Carnival cruise. They admitted to being RCI fans having done quite a few of those. They were very angry at two things. The fact that RCI is leaving California and most importantly the fact that they had always been talked out of doing a Carnival cruise by friends and their travel agent. They are having a brilliant time. Now I should explain that Kelvin is Justine’s son and that Justine is in a wheelchair. They had written to me on the blog asking about a table with wheelchair access which I was able to help them with. When I met with them they were both quick to tell me how amazingly friendly and helpful the crew had been. This then went into the conversation about how others had said don’t cruise Carnival and how mad they were at them and at themselves for listening. I promised them I would put their photo on the blog….so here are son and Mum….Kelvin and Justine Fairclough from Sacramento, California.
Thanks to the marvelous crew of the Carnival Splendor we have 2 more guests who have seen the reality of what a Carnival cruise provides and as they said, they will be back for more.
We are in Mazatlan today and it’s really, really muggy which means it is really, really not a good day to be my underpants. Before we see what the guests are doing today, I have to tell you that I really enjoyed P.V. yesterday. I call it P.V. because I can’t spell Porto Vallaryta yet. I took a taxi downtown and walked for about a mile along the strip…yes….a mile..…see above reference to underpants.
It was very different to Cozumel which I am sorry to say is a good thing. Whereas Cozumel has people standing outside every store telling you that everything is 90% off or almost free. Honestly, if one more Cozumelian told me “We have your size big man” I would have given him a sudden and aggressive kick in his el bollockos.
There is none of this in PV and with its huge open plan restaurants full of crisp white sheets and linens it reminded me of South Beach in Miami. No wonder the guests love P.V. I had lunch …. on my own. I won’t bother telling you how much I hate that and how depressing it is because I have said so many times here on the blog. What I will say is that the seafood ceviche I had was historic and me and my raspberry enjoyed a great lunch together.
In Mazatlan the emphasis seems to be on taking an excursion as we dock in an industrial port and there really isn’t a whole lot to do right off the ship. Goose really makes sure that this message is loud and clear and with that in mind here are the most popular excursions.
MEXICAN SHOW, SIGHTSEEING & SHOPPING
Tour Duration: 4 HoursDiscover the heart and soul of Mazatlan on this cultural and shopping combination tour. Your journey begins with a drive to Vigia Hill where you will see the world’s highest natural lighthouse, the offshore islands, and Mazatlan’s scenic coastline. Continue on to the city’s historic center for a visit to a 19th century Cathedral, and then witness the remarkable cliff divers’ performance as they jump off the rocky cliffs into the waters below. Ride, for approximately 35 minutes, to the Golden Zone for an amazing show at the Spectacular Theatre. Marvel in Mexico’s history through its music and dances as you watch the Mexican Folkloric Dancers, followed by a high-flying ancient ceremony performed by the world famous Papantla Flyers. Browse and shop through the numerous craft and jewelry shops before returning to your ship. Note: Complimentary snacks will be served during the show.
COLONIAL VILLAGES OF SIERRA MADRE
Tour Duration: 6 HoursDiscover the wonderful heritage of Mexico’s villages and see the works created by its cottage industries. You’ll travel to the legendary Sierra Madre Mountains and visit a brickyard where adobe bricks are made by hand and fired, much as they have been for centuries. Continue to the quaint village of Malpica to visit a floor tile factory, a traditional bakery, and a factory where you will see handmade clay flower pots, jars and wooden furniture. Continue on to Concordia, founded in 1565, and the gold mining town of Copala, with its cobblestone streets, colonial homes, and impressive San Jose Church. Enjoy a Mexican lunch in Copala before your return journey to Mazatlan, with an optional drop-off in Mazatlan’s Golden Zone for shopping. Note: Lunch is included. This excursion involves walking over cobblestones and uneven ground; comfortable walking shoes are recommended. Guests wishing to stay in the Golden Zone will be responsible for their return transportation to the ship.
I will be writing more about these and other top tips during my time here as cruise director.
Talking of Goose (whom I have been most impressed with) here we are together ….. Goose and Big Bird.
Tomorrow we will be in Cabo….again….can’t spell the whole name yet so it’s Cabo for today. We will be tendering guests ashore and you may remember that recently I asked that the tender information for Platinum guests standardized across the fleet. This was because some of you had told me there had been challenges with this. And so we have revised the Platinum Guest Letter that will be waiting for Platinum and Milestone guests in their stateroom. Here it is:
Dear Megan Fox
Welcome back. We’re delighted that you’ve chosen another “Fun Ship” cruise for your vacation. We would like to welcome you aboard as a Platinum Guest; distinguished recognition for having sailed with us 10 or more times. As a Platinum Guest you are entitled to the exclusive privileges and benefits of our new “Carnival Concierge Club.” We invite you to take advantage of the following complimentary amenities during your cruise:
- Personalized Stationary
- Canapés delivered to your stateroom one evening
- Petit fours delivered to your stateroom one evening
- A special Carnival logo item per stateroom.
In addition, we have these wonderful exclusive privileges and benefits that can be scheduled by simply contacting the Carnival Platinum/Concierge desk at extension 6676.
- Your personal Guest Service staff
- Guaranteed dining times (Platinum guest and immediate family, up to a maximum of two staterooms)
- Guaranteed steak house reservations
- Exclusive “Behind the Scenes galley tour” (Please contact the Concierge Desk to schedule)
- Spa Carnival services (We invite you to the spa for priority booking of a spa treatment. Please confirm priority booking today by 6:00pm and request a complimentary specialty add-on treatment for one of our body or facial services (a $20 value).
- Complimentary Wash and Fold service.
- Complimentary entry into our slot or blackjack tournament (please stop by the Casino Cashier for more details) Must be 18 and over in age.
- $5.00 of complimentary arcade tokens for under 18 years old Platinum Card members.
- Priority tender boarding (Please check with Platinum/Concierge desk located at Guest Services or by calling 6676)
- Priority debarkation
- A photo of Senior Cruise Director John Heald in his underpants
“Today’s Carnival” is committed to providing our guests with the highest level of quality, service and hospitality. The new “Carnival Concierge Club” is just one way of showing our appreciation to you, our valued Platinum Guest.
On behalf of Carnival Cruise Lines, we hope you enjoy your cruise and these added touches. Thank you for your continued loyalty.
Bon Voyage!
Gerry Cahill
President and CEO
As you will see we have a dedicated number for Platinum guests to call as and when they are ready to go ashore by tender. The guest service associate will check you are on the Platinum list and then arrange for someone to meet you accordingly.
I have always promised to post everything that is sent to me by all of you out there in blog land unless it is something that is totally inappropriate of course. I will always post without exception people’s comments about me………and that includes this one:
John
Has it EVER occurred to you that there are other people in the world who MATTER, as well as you? You make yourself SOUND like the most self obsessed, drunken egoist that there has ever been. Try to accept that you are one of the lucky ones, with a job, and a half decent looks. More people would read this blog if you were to be less self-absorbed.
Steve Cottrell
Half decent looks? What does that mean? Does one part resemble Gomer Pyle, the other George Clooney? Anyway……I have given this comment a lot of thought and have conceded that perhaps the blogger had a point and that maybe I could, from time to time, appear a little self-absorbed and I apologize for that Steve.
Anyway, let’s change the subject and talk about…..ummmmm……..me. That’s because in 15 minutes time I have to sit through what will be sure to be an hour of total and utter boredom. That’s because there is a meeting in Miami about your Carnival Magic and the run up to the naming ceremony and special events, etc. Now while the subject itself is fascinating, the fact that I am going to be sat by a speaker phone for an endless amount of time is not something I am looking forward to. The corporate world has gone meeting mad and Carnival has contracted the meeting plague.
Meetings for the most part achieve bugger all. Take that big one in Copenhagen last year ……. the big summit thingy. World leaders flew to Denmark to discuss what might be done should global temperatures rise. After loads of meetings, involving thousands of people, everyone agreed they couldn’t agree on anything. And so they all got back on their private jets and buggered off home.
As a brand ambassador I have been to meetings that achieved absolutely nothing. I remember one in which we spent an hour discussing if it would be fun for me to wear a pink suit for the naming of the Carnival Splendor. The meeting ended by suggesting we discuss the issue in more detail next time we met.
Yep meetings are for the most part a massive waste of time. The only good thing is that I will be talking to senior vice presidents and vice presidents who will be in a gleaming glass tower in their suits and beards.
Me………..I will be sitting in my tiny cabin…….in my underpants ……… eating a burrito.
Join me tomorrow for more news about me.
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
John We sailed on the Carnival Dream in Feb. will sail again in May 2011. was wondering if you are going to be on that Cruise as CD. My daughter and her husband was with us then wish they could come back with us. Anyway i”m sure it will be a good cruise looking forward to CD schedule for 2011. Hope you are on the cruise. I hear this cruise is beautiful. Can’t wait to sail Carnival again.
Would be nice if the Cruise Critic readers of your blog would realize that they are not the only people that read this. The more comments I see from these people make it look like they think they own the cruise industry and also are your boss. You are doing a great job and i would think that part of that job as ambassador would be to help as many people as you can. Great job you are doing
Please don’t generalize. It’s a very small percentage of members of Cruise Critic who are of this opinion.
The thread that ‘SJK’ highlighted in yesterday’s blog was ‘Do you ask favors of John Heald?’ and it was a poll. The VAST majority said that no, they don’t but felt that it was John’s right to do whatever he pleases.
Just like in any other segment of the population there are people who read Cruise Critic and bend the information to fit their own purpose. We have 600,000 members. There’s bound to be a few rotten apples in there somewhere.
Thanks.
Host Mach
Host Mach,
Like John has said that you do a great job trying to moderate the threads that get started, but people can post pretty much anything there and here. We see the same rotten apples here and I am sure that the folks at CC are for the most part the same as here. People who love to cruise.
On public forums you get a dose of every type of opinion. Some you agree with and some you don’t. The trick is to keep it real and get rid of the comments and posts that are not factual such as Carnival is going to stop putting chocolates on your pillow. In a public forum there are always those who try and us it for their own purpose. I would love to be able to go on every ship from every cruiseline because they are all part of an industry that is making a fun vacation for people. I want to hit the lottery so I can make this happen.
Keep up the good work on CC because like John you are also one of the good guys and don’t let what some people say change who you are or what you do.
The Cruzin2some
Host Mach should remove the poll I posted. I requested it to be removed, guess it got lost in the system. It was never meant to generate so much negativity. I was just curious what others had requested. Keep up the good work John.
I completely agree! And I am a member of cruise critic! For the most part, folks on CC are nice, fun loving people. They don’t care if Johna- helps someone or not. In fact we rather like it! But there are a few people who think they own cruise critic, the cruise industry and the world revolves around them and their opinions.
Please don’t think ill of cruise critic because it really is a good place to get information and help when you have questions about cruising. We do have to “weed out” the comments at times though.
I post on CC daily with a group of friends. I have done plenty of research there and I just dont read any of the negative and b***** exchanges. There is good and bad everywhere and I choose to use the good and ignore the bad.
Of course I look forward to this daily read more!!!
Hello John,
Cruisecritic.com is a super place to get information about ports and particular ships. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to people like budgetqueenalaska for tips that made our trip spectacular! Like any other open forum, it contains people’s opinions. They will vary.
I enjoy reading cc.com and I enjoy reading your blog – your personal thoughts about cruising. Let people vote with their feet: don’t read it if they don’t like it; don’t ask you for a favor if they don’t want to. Sounds simple!
Best to Heidi and Kye; I know you were disappointed they could not be with you. XXXXOOOO from sunny (hot as ****) Florida!
Please don’t paint all of us with the same brush. Most of us use cruise critic as it is intended; as a way to socialize, learn about cruising, share information and help new cruisers. Given that it’s a public site that anyone can join, no one should think that they can be rude just because they are a member.
I am also a CC member. I have found the negative CC member voice their opions more often than those of us who are not negative.
Great picture of you and Big Bird. Odd… Big Bird looks a great deal like you… Hummm… I’ll have to sort that out.
Regarding the comment about you being self absorbed… I guess that Mr. Cottrel doesn’t understand that this blog is about you… about your experiences as cruise director and brand ambassador. What does he want you to write about… politics? PLEASE, NO…
About the garlic… I’m sure it’s a backlash to the vampire madness that’s swept the world with those Twilight movies. If you can’t join ‘em… kill ‘em.
All the best to the girls!!!
Ciao!
Host Mach
John, Please don’t stop helping people. I have found that cruise critic has some very negative people as members. I of course do not mean all of them, but there are some that will find anything to complain about. I read the thread that was started and all I can say is wow? people are really complaining about you helping people. I love how the two people described the thread as “very important”. There is a very easy solution here and that is to not read the comments section. Oh and maybe choose a better battle as I have come to find out that the outcome of my day is the same whether you got a table for two by the window to the smith’s from Houston or you ignored them.
John, Keep doing what you are doing, we enjoy reading your blog.
Dear John,
First I would like to say this about Steve’s comment about you being self absorbed here on the blog.
FIRST of all this blog is suppose to be about you and your life as CD on the Carnival Ships. It what we come here for.
SECOND it your blog so when in doubt please see FIRST comment.
I can’t believe how people want to tell you how to write a blog. You have over seven million hits on this little blog of yours. Please tell me Steve how many hits you have on your blog?
There I feel so much better. John keep doing it your way and we will keep coming here every day until we can be there with you.
Since most of the passengers you have with you on the Carbnival Splendor are from Cali (We don’t bother with the rest of the word) so you can just keep calling it PV and Cabo as that is what we call them.
Cali’s have gotten casual down to an art form. We do like to dress up but it usually doesn’t seem that we go all out unless there are camera crews around. So if you want everyone to put on the Ritz then you need to announce that there will be camera stations and video crews taking pictures of them.
All our best my friend!
The Casual Cruzin2some form Cali
James & Nancy Enslow
John (Please Reply)
First: as a previous Splendor ‘rider’ the aft pool being adults only is a great idea, possible to also go ‘topless’?
We are looking forward to boarding Splendor this Sun the 8th:
1. Do you know who the comedian is for this trip ?
2. I am hoping to get my former waitress ‘NUNU’ on this trip, any idea how I can find out if she is still on the ship ?? If she is I will proceed to strongarm the maitre’d.
3. Is it possible to arrange dinner with the likes of YOU ?? after reading your comments you seem like you would be a great dinner guest for an evening – my daughters and grand-daughters would likely ‘dig’ you ??
4. Is it possible to do any advance table reservations for the evening dining ?
5. Is the crew worried at all about that little tropical depression forming about 250 miles south of you ??
I know you will be on a conf call or brushing your teeth or adjusting your ‘shower curtain toga’ so I will understand if you cannot get to my questions. Feel free to tell me to ‘pound sand’.
Thank you for the “hug”.
I really needed it.
MissKitty
Dear Ms. Kitty,
Here is another. I know it is a hard thing to deal with right now but I will say a little prayer for you that you find the perfect job for you. One that you will love to go to each morning.
Hey John is Carnival hiring?
The Cruzin2some
I’m happy to hear that you are keeping an eye on the creation of the Carnival Magic. I simply am beside myself with excitement at joining you on the Med cruise next May.
I was on the first voyage of the Dream and had so much fun that I had to come back.
Thanks to everyone who keeps us up to date on construction.
Three more cruises to go until I get that picture of you in your underpants. Better start booking now…better than any old ship on a stick.
John,
You and my boyfriend would get along very well. He hates garlic with a passion to match yours. Which is bad for him because I love garlic, I’ll add garlic into anything. But we somehow make it work.
We were planning on enjoying lots of garlic and garlic-free food on the Carnival Dream in November, but I’ll be having knee surgery instead, so the trip has to get postponed. So as a favor to me, to help me rehab from a knee surgery with a very long recovery period, do not let Carnival get rid of garlic until I after I get onto the Carnival Dream. It will be so much easier going through rehab if I know that at the end of it, I can enjoy dinner in the steakhouse eating the greatest garlicy escargot.
Thank you for the interesting comment from Steve Cottrell. You have made several statements regarding people not happy with your blog or the language in your blog. Notice the word your is used. If people don’t like your writing then the offended person should move one to something else.
I looked up the word ‘blog’ in the dictionary and here it is:
an online diary; a personal chronological log of thoughts published on a Web page
Your blog is exactly that a personal log of your thoughts. DUH!!
Keep up the good work and I will keep reading.
I unsubscribed to Cruise Critic because I found them for the most part negative and err…too critical. Keep up the good work that you do. When we need help or have a question it is nice to know you are there for us.
You know John, assisting people is one beautiful way to love what you do. By helping others is a great thing that you do. Why would people say that you should stop. It doesn’t lower yourself. to me it makes you a very special people in my mind. I care a great deal about you and I’m sick and tired of those individuals who always trying to knock you down. Get over it you nerds. JOhn is a great man
Paul F. Pietrangelo
My husband is a Type 2 diabetic also, while cruising he makes sure to eat extra veggies and takes it easy on the carbs(breads, potatoes etc) and sweets. He also walks the stairs every where we go. He has done this through 2 cruises and manages to keep his sugar levels in the normal range
John,
In regards to late arrivals at dinner:
I believe the doors to the dining room should be SHUT after 15 minutes. I understand sometimes people run late, get caught up in all the fun, and forget to get ready for dinner in time. 15 minutes should give them plenty of time to get to the dining room. Any later than that, and you’re going to make the wait staff’s jobs harder as well make the fellow passengers in your area wait longer for their food.
I’ve seen people show up to dinner 30 minute late before, and I think it’s completely rude and disrespectful to both the staff and their fellow guests.
Please pass the suggestion along to the beards to start closing the dining room doors and disallowing entry after 15 minutes.
Dave
Dave,
I agree with you. Early and late seatings are not “anytime dinning”. We are never late and just hate when we already have place or orders and someone just arrives. So now we wait for them to order and then wait as all the food comes out to their timing.
BIG Ed
Close the doors to MDR . Tell guest they are late and they should go enjoy dinner on the lido deck. Bet the next night they are on time. I hate the late arrivals, they disrupt everything.
John,
We just lurk and rarely post but since I don’t see many comments on the subject and you asked, we will respond. We are Platinum cruisers who will be joining you on the Splendor on 9-26-10. We have noticed the problem of late diners many times. We were always taught our kids if you are more than 10 minutes late for dinner, go somewhere else. We have seen people walking in for dinner when they are serving us dessert. This is not one or two people, this is quite a few and they don’t seem to know this is not acceptable. Not sure what the solution is but anytime dining would be better for these people. We are traditional and like the set time for dinner.
About the adult only pool GREAT!!! and enforced…well we are skeptical because we have never seen it enforced. We have been on cruises where we were unable to use the pools at all do to water fights, jumping and splashing in the adult pools and jacuzzi tubs by children…unfortunately they were with their parents who did not seem to notice their behavior bothered others. There is a misconception that children are allowed everywhere even in adult areas if they are with their parents. They take “no children” to mean “no children alone”. Maybe adding the fact that “no children” also includes children that are with their parents who should be using the “family pools”.
You are doing a great job John,.
Grizzly Grizel is sure having a bad day, sorry couldn’t resist.
Actually I think I understand where Grizzly Grizel (sorry!! I just love the name Grizzy Grizel
) is coming from. Most Americans will be completely unaware of the Carnivalcruise.co.uk site, but on it UK users cannot request 1A cabins like American users can. Also UK Users appear to pay more than the 200% stated (actually Grizel it’s more like 250% judging by my rough calculations. This is even before Airfares are added on.) However what Grizel doesn’t realise is it’s not all US Singles who are complaining, but Singles from all over the World. The only reason why this continues is because Singles (although the largest Minority group in the world) are the last group which it is legal to discriminate against. You can’t charge couples extra, you can’t charge groups extras, so companies insist on charging Singles as a way of increasing their profits. (To all those who think that it’s perfectly fine for companies to charge singles as a couple, think about this. A charge of $200 for a couple ($100/person) could be defrayed by each in the couple paying their own fare. However a charge of $250 ($100+250% Single Supplement) for a single would have to be paid by one person. This makes Cruising a largely unobtainable method of holiday making.
With the exception of the underpants photo (which I’ll assume was editorial comedy, and not actually offered), plus a description of where to inquire about the existing priority tender boarding, the ‘new’ Platinum letter looked identical to the one I’ve previously received on Your Carnival Splendor. Not much change at all regarding the offerings to Concierge Club members on the tendering process to those port locations. Perhaps I dreamed that there was a bit more being arranged.
Dear John
and yes I mean dear John—
I won’t hold it againt you that you do like garlic. I live near Gilroy—-the Garlic capital of the world– or should I say used to be—some fungus or something got to the garlic a few years ago–so now the don’t grow as much as they used too—-humm maybe thats why the Splendor uses a lot ? I’m sure as yesterdays blog gave referrance too a lot fo Californians being aboard.
Oh well I live in San Jose— I’m sure you’ve heard that song before too—
My friends and I are counting down—-looking forward to seeing each other again and you too and meeting the other Stephanies that might be onboard too.
Cheers and I hope you feel better–and get used to the smell of garlic too—–
April—–
John -
I just wanted to second the posts above. Your blog is very funny and never fails to put a smile on my face.
I simply don’t understand the need for negative comments like that – if the individual does not find the blog to his taste, last time I checked, it was not a requirement of sailing Carnival that you read it.
So, keep up the great work. Keep sharing those all those stories – the happy, the sad, the inspiring and the humorous.
And just remember the old saying, you can’t please 100% of the people 100% of the time.
You are far to much a gentleman to say it, so I would like to tell Stever to Bugger Off!
Amy
Self absorbed? All I can say is “bull s***”". John Heald is obviously one of the most open and caring persons that there is.
John, no matter how good you are, there is always someone (usually a real butt head) who thinks they are better.
By the way, I look forward to seeing you in November when my wife and I celebrate our 49th anniversary with you on the Splendor.
Hello John,
We think you should keep doing the blog your way since it is your blog after all. Most of the people read the blog to hear about your adventures so it has to be about you – and Heidi and Kye too.
If you want to help people with specific requests then that is your decision. I don’t know why some people get so upset over this. It was your decision to start this and would be your decision to stop and it doesn’t hurt anyone else if you decide to help someone. I guess people have to complain about something.
The letter regarding Platinum benefits doesn’t mention anything about tendering back to the ship as you stated a few blogs ago. Is that still going to be available?
In about five weeks we are going to San Juan a couple of days before our Carnival Victory cruise on Sept. 12. We hope to be able to see Nanni while we’re there since she should be off on the weekend. We are going to try the Anytime Dining so we don’t need a table for two or anything else as a favor. I’m still not sure about that since we like late seating and getting to know our waitstaff but this could be a good cruise to try this. This is the same itinerary as our very first Carnival cruise on the Carnival Fascination in 1994 and now this is number 22. We’ll be Milestone soon.
Enjoy your time on the Carnival Splendor.
George and Linda
I do not understand why people who do not like your blog continue to read it! I think it’s great.
“A photo of Senior Cruise Director John Heald in his underpants”
I can’t wait until I am platinum! WHO HOOO!!! =)
Could someone please tell me what Steve was trying to say… I just don’t get it…. it IS John’s blog, right? This guy can’t be serious, right? Moving on….. (before I open my big mouth)
I admit I have been behind on the blog posts. I just got all caught up. I use to read it every night. I plan to get back into my blog routine of reading every evening!
I think you are doing an awesome job as usual! Hopefully you will see your beautiful girls soon! I say you keep talking about them as much as you want!
Still wants to have a number behind her name…
Stephanie #????
Sir John,
I would like to start the campaign to endorse your knighthood. Keep up the great work,
John,
Just found out our May 22, 2011 Carnival Magic itinerary changed again. First we had Livorno then Genoa and now it is Savona. We were looking forward to Genoa but we don’t know anything about Savona. Why does this port keep changing?
Thanks!
Linda
John… PLEASE REPLY
I want to start this off with thanking you for all you do and I really appreciate it. The last time I asked for something I got my treasured ship on a stick and my signed copy (of you and Heidi) of the Carnival Splendor. It is displayed in our house very nicely. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I have a favour (spelled correctly) to ask. I have cross referenced my cousins booking and our booking so that we can sit together, but I want to make sure it works out well. This is their first Carnival cruise and they are bringing their two older kids. The 6 of us would love to sit at a table with just us. I don’t think I have a preference on where we sit, but we would like a table for 6. We are sailing on the September 18th cruise of the Carnival Dream. We are so so so excited about it.
By the way, I am overly excited to try out our cove balcony. We have heard that the cabin we are in has issues with noise from the kitchen upstairs, but I think we will survive. My hubbie would love to try fishing from the cove balcony HA HA HA
I am slowly working on my clients (I am a TA) and other travel agents in my office to try Carnival. We will convert the world one customer at a time.
Thank you again for all you do. You are amazing at this job and your blog is wonderful.
Stefani (the right way to spell it)
Dear John,
Just a quick note from my iPad thingy. I vote for the Cruise Critic whiners to stop their griping and instead worry about something more worthwhile than who you’re helping.
Keep up the good work!
Laura
Oh goody! My own personal solid gold plastic trophy – I will cherish it for the rest of my life!!!
I’ll pass on the tofu. I actually used to live about a block from a small tofu factory and I’ve had my fill, thank you very much.
I have been reading the blog since day one and enjoy it very much. I can’t understnd how anyone who reads the blog can suggest you are self absorbed……you are anything but..
I do find some of the comments, and the tone some people use to ask for asstance, to be rude. Most are well written, but some are just inappropriate. You do very well in responsing to everyone.
(Please Reply)
John, please don’t be bothered by the people who say they don’t like you or don’t find you funny. This one time, John, I heard a radio interview with Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson when he was wrestling in the WWE. He told the interviewer, “Some people like chocolate ice cream, and some people like vanilla ice cream, but everybody… And The Rock means EVERYBODY loves pancakes.” That’s you John, you’re a pancake!
I had written to you on the blog a couple of years ago, where I mentioned that you were the CD on my honeymoon cruise on the Destiny back in 1998, and the CD on my wife’s 1st cruise on the Sensation back when it was brand new. It had been about 10 years since we’d cruised with Carnival and you said why not come back. Well last September we did a 7 day Canada/New England on the Triumph. Oddly, we drove from our home in Canada to New York, only to cruise back to Canada, but I digress. We had a great time.
We’ve got 3 kids now, and the older 2 loved going to Camp Carnival, they even wanted to eat with their new friends for breakfasts and dinners, instead of with us, so much of the time it was just my wife, myself and the baby.
We enjoyed everything emmensely, the food, the weather was great, the ship was lovely. The 5 of us were all able to shoe-horn ourselves into one cabin which also helped out financially. Now I have heard that the 3 original Destiny Class ships and the Fantasy class ships all have a few inside staterooms that will fit 5 people, my question is, do any of the newer ships have similar rooms or is it just those ships? Is there any way you could post a list of the ships that have rooms that fit 5, if you could, that would be great!
Thanks,
Doug
Hi John ~
Can’t wait to hear more tales from the Carnival Splendor. We’ll be sailing soon!
It seems you are puzzled as to why so many Californians know you from Florida based ships. If they are like this fellow West Coaster, who likes to see different ports, it’s because you can only sail the Mexican Riviera so many times! I do like Cabo though and that was why I was so bummed to see Elation pulled from that route. Ensenada really doesn’t hold much appeal for me. Hopefully this Splendor sailing makes it to all its ports…last time I tried this, we went to San Francisco. Oink oink.
)
Also, if you are on limited vacation time, things like sailings to Hawaii are difficult.
I just hope that there are more new ports in Carnival’s future. Looking at some of the itineraries offered by other lines, I might have to eventually sail something of the seas. Oh, the horror! LOL
See you soon!
Colleen
Hi John, please reply.
Would it be possible for you to list which soups served in the MDR are vegetarian? Unfortunately, we have received conflicting information from waiters in the past.
Some soups, like the West Indian Pumpkin, helpfully list chicken broth as an ingredient in the menu description, but others – like the Yukon Gold Potato – one would have no idea had chicken in it. My amazing waiter warned me off that one, but it seems that some waiters feel that if meat isn’t a main ingredient, then the soup is vegetarian… even if it’s made with chicken or beef stock.
It would be helpful if there could be an official word on which of the “seemingly vegetarian” soups actually have a meat base. I have listed several “soups of interest” below. Thank you, as always, so much!
Caribbean Pepper Pot
Chilled Avocado
Chilled Curried Apple
Old-Fashioned German Lentil
Chilled Essence of Fennel and Celery
Cream of Spinach
Creme Dubarry
Cream of Sun-RIpened Tomatoes
Gazpacho Andalouse
French Onion Soup
Black Bean Soup
Chilled Cucumber Soup
Yukon Gold Potato Cream (just to verify!)
Wild Mushroom Cream
Asparagus Vichyssoise
Corn Chowder Maryland
Cream of Garden-Fresh Broccoli
American Navy Bean
Minestrone Milanese
Potage Saint Germain
Gazpacho Blanco
Chilled Butternut Squash
Italian-Style Tomato and Borlotti Bean
(Mmmm, what an array!)
Hi John (Please reply)
Love your bloggy thingy and must confess that playing with the new grandbaby for the last few days has kept me too busy to even look at my computer and now I’m reading “old posts” to catch up. My husband and I will be sailing on the Triumph August 28- Sept 2 celebrating our 45th anniversary on our 23rd Carnival cruise. We love sailing out of Mobile and New Orleans (that’s where the new grandbaby lives) since both are a 4 hour drive from our home and sailing down the river from NO at night is just beautiful.
I have a few questions I’d like to ask and hope Carnival will consider. First, we were at sea when hurricane Ivan hit and had to detour to Veracruiz. It was a wonderful port and we just wondered if a 5 or 6 day cruise could go there as a change of pace for those of us who crusie from these same ports more than once a year.
Next, does Carnival do Panama Canal cruises and would Carnival or one of your sister lines (we had a Princess cruise once because it sailed from NO for 3 weeks) ever do one from Mobile or NO for those of us who do not want to fly but cruise at every opportunity. We really don’t want to drive for 2 days to Miami and 2 days back. We want to be on a Carnival ship every second of our vacation.
And last, our favorite perk as Platnium guests is the easy on, easy off feature. However, sometimes it seems like we are waiting forever for the passengers who carry everything off–(and that is an option we could not do)– to all get off. We were wondering if it would be possible to have two VIP disembark options– one just before the carry off folks and the other like it is now–just after the carryoff folks. The very early disembarkation would allow locals to take one less vacation day and it would allow some who drive the opportunity to get home before dark–a very important consideration for some of us older cruisers. Perhaps Carnival might want to test this option on just one port and New Orleans would be a great port to start with.
Carnival’s “value for the buck,” friendy staff, great entertainment, and close-to-home port keeps us coming back . And when I say staff, I don’t just mean on the ship. We think our PVP, Shay Hart is the world’s best and we have recommended her to countless future cruisers and have her extension memorized–yet we read on your blog thingy that everyone else thinks the same thing–so a lot of the “behind the scenes” folks start our cruises months before we ever get on the ship.
I just have one more comment. Seriously, I wish your comment card would have a section just for repeat cruisers so we could just mark that one box and be through. Carnival meets our expectations which is why we keep coming back cruise after cruise. If she didn’t, we would be trying one of the other lines. When you are content with a product, that’s what you buy and that’s what you recommend. That why we had six Carnival cruises last year, have our August cruise booked, our October family cruise booked and are checking out our December and January dates. I know the comment cards are a valuable tool to Carnival and I like to help, but I don’t want to spend several minutes each cruise answering the same questions and I feel guilty if I don’t.
I hope you get assigned to New Orleans soon so we can have the opportunity to sail with you. We feel like you are an old friend because of your blog and I’d love to meet the man who makes my husband laugh five days a week. You are a great word-smith, sir and you brighten our day. Thank you (and all your Stephanies).
Bwahahaha!!! Couldnt help it….2 things made me LOL. One, the picture of John in his underpants…I would hang it up at work and maybe people would leave me alone.
The other is the Steve Cottrell comment. John, self-absorbed? hehehe Apparently Steve doesnt own a dictionary. And exactly how does one go about writing a blog about his life as a CD and not talk about himself?
John – that is exactly how we all end up feeling that we know you. It is a GOOD thing. …and we love you.
Dont change a thing!
I’ve noticed over the years how more and more people arrive late in the dining room and expect to be served. I really think you need to close the doors 15-20 minutes after the posted arrival time for dining. Then, anyone who tries to enter after that should be politely told that they should go to the Lido deck to eat as the dining hour has already begun. Maybe the would get the message that they need to show up on time. I really think that some people get so wrapped up in their own world, that it really doesn’t dawn on them that they are making it harder for the wait staff and kitchen staff when they are trying to accommodate them showing up late for their seating. On the other hand, if they do realize they are inconveniencing the staff but just don’t care – then shame on them!!! It won’t ever stop until the arrival times are somewhat enforced by the dining staff.
dear john,
as everyone says it is your blog you write what you please and i don’t understand why anyone would complain about your helping people. i always thought that was what a CD did.
i am also a type 2 diabetic and have never had any trouble keeping my sugar levels down on a cruise. looking forward to seeing you on the good ship magic in oct next year. saw a blog about a carnival cruise from san diego to hawaii and back in 2012. maybe you will be on that too?
ann from texas
Dearest John – please respond.
You’ve made me giggle for ages, but this is the first time I’ve written, so it’s going to be an epic letter. Sorry ’bout that. =^)
I know you’re running about three weeks long – so I thought I’d send my request for aid a little early.
On October 30, 2010 my husband and I and two friends will be sailing on our Carnival Dream. This will be our second Dreamy Halloween and the first Dream cruise for our friends. We’ll be in 2383 this time (not sure about our pals’ cabin # yet – they’re on deck 2 aft somewhere) and we are hoping that you can facilitate a table for 4 somewhere central in the main dining room downstairs or aft along the window. Thus far (on our previous Carnival adventures) we’ve been relegated to the tables hidden behind the partition near the kitchen door in the main dining room, no matter how sweetly we made our requests… and I can be very sweet, I assure you! So we’ve not yet had a nice view or been able to see the action in the dining room – other than the occasional dropped plate, which is always hugely entertaining. It would be great to experience the fun we usually hear from a distance over the wall behind us, or if that’s not possible, watch the moonlight on the water while we dine. In either case, I do hope you can help grease the wheels for us and give our friends a lovely dining experience on our Dream. Heck, even if it can’t be arranged, we’ll still have a blast… It would just be nice to see something a bit more memorable this time, especially if Ken is still aboard! =^)
BTW: Our first Dream adventure was the Transatlantic crossing last Autumn, which was a truly amazing cruise!! We were lucky enough to be introduced to you and Mr. Cahill by Todd Wittmer as we partied (as usual) in the Piano Bar the night you and the Beards boarded in Bermuda. (Thanks for being so kind when I know you must have been exhausted and swamped with work! You are appreciated!!!
For those who have any doubts about the Dream or her crew, believe me, she’s fantastic and every single person aboard her made our 16 day voyage both memorable and FUN!!! We booked a balcony midship on deck 8 for the trip and couldn’t have been happier, despite the interesting discussions about that location! Special thanks should go to Todd, James, Ken, Capt. Queirolo, Zoran the bartender, Kat the waitress, Lawrence and the dancers, Cassandra and the spa peeps, Mouna, pianist/singer Damian Brell, comedian Michael Macy, and you Mr. Heald for all the fun and for putting up with our group of ‘youngsters’! (the non-decrepit people who took over the ship every night!) We made lifetime friends with officers, crew and passengers alike – Many Thanks to ALL! We didn’t want to get off the boat in New York, even after 2 + weeks and a Nor’easter!!! (yes, multiple exclamation points are required here!!)
And before I shut up and sign off, I want give a shout out to James Fatigate, my favorite PVP. He does an amazing job and should get a raise just for helping me when I get the urge to plan cruises!
Ok – enough from me… Thanks so much for all you do, John! And thanks for giving us a peek into the strange and wondrous world of John Heald. You’re an odd duck, but we love you!
Hugs to you, Heidi and Kye!
Carin
Dear John, (PLEASE REPLY)
I will never understand why people get upset when you grant favours (spelled correctly) on your blog. Nor will I ever understand why they insist, every darn time!!, on TELLING you they’re so upset. Maybe I feel that way because I don’t care about the location of my dining table, and the one time I won a “solid gold ship-on-a-stick,” I immediately gave it away to the nearest child, but good grief people. Aaaaaaanyway.
I have been on two previous Carnival cruises, and am counting the days until my first ever solo cruise on the Carnival Inspiration. My question, John, as I’ve already mentioned that I don’t need a ship-on-a-stick from you to make my life complete
is this: do you have any suggestions to help make a solo cruise great? I had a brilliant time on both of my previous cruises, and am SO VERY excited about this next one, but also just a teeny bit nervous about going by myself.
Thanks so much in advance for any advice you can offer, and hopefully by the time you read this, you and your lovely Mrs. will have figured out a good time for your girls to come meet you on the West Coast!
-Michelle
Hello John –
Can not imagine for the life of me why someone would complain about someone else helping someone else…. unless that first someone is… well…. you get the idea.
Genuinely helping someone should always be rewarded. Sometimes the reward is nothing more than a sense of personal satisfaction. Sometimes the reward is your paycehck. Isn’t that what every job is? Being compensated for doing something for someone… oh well. Keep up the goodwork. Help everyone you can as much as you can and you will always sleep well at night.
John I say we take steve there and shove a bunch of garlic up his bollocks! You are in no way self-absorbed. That’s what this blog is about YOU and your life as the Carnival Senior Cruise Director! How would you not talk about yourself?? Bridie had a good thought about something she told me the British Navy would do 100′s of years ago…keel hauling? Hmm might be an idea for these complaning idiots or better yet these people that seems to start dumb rumors on cruise critic!
Big Fans As Allways,
Frank and Bridie
Actually, there was a post on cruise critic asking about late dining and how new cruisers are supposed to know that it was set time and not a window. One person assumed that because there was a dinner at 6 and a dinner at 8, that showing up somewhere in between the two times was appropriate. I always assumed that because the cards and the fun times said late dining 8:15 p.m., it meant you were supposed to be there at 8:15 p.m. However, this might be worthy of a note in the fun times or an announcement made that specifies that late seating is at 8:15 p.m. and anyone who will be more than 10 minutes late should eat elsewhere.
I love traditional late dining and tend to make it into the dining room at about 5 after, only because I refuse to wait in a line so I come in at the tail end of it. In my ideal world, late comers would not be allowed in because the doors would be closed. It would make it easier for the wait staff and fellow diners to be able to work and eat in the way that traditional dining is meant to be enjoyed.
Sorry, that’s supposed to be about traditional dining, not late dining. I use late dining as an example because that’s what I prefer!
Steve Cottrell? You are by far the stupidest person that has ever wrote to John. Now how does it feel to have your words thrown back in your face? OK, got that done, sorry John. And yet another CC poll.
Sorry you had a tummy ache yesterday. But the up side, you got to dine with the captain
I am sure you are itching to get the title of CD again, it must be hard not being able to say anything.
Keep smiling John; you truly are one of the good guys
My best to Heidi and Kye
I just want to say I really appreciate John helping people out and working on making their cruise the best one yet. I am thrilled with my reservations for the chefs table and my friends are in awe that I have such connections with Carnival that I was able to get 4 of just 12 spots for the dinner. We are very excited about going and I will be thinking of John while we are enjoying superb food.
Thanks again!
Kim
Hey John, Please Respond
Looks like the poll I posted on Cruise Critic has caused lots of beotching. I would like you to know I thank the help you give to others is GREAT. I do not understnad why so many do not like the help you give. I did not post the poll to get negative replies.
You have helped me in the past and hope for you to continue doing so. Keep up the good work, keep helping others with table assignments, ships on a stick, etc.. Tell the haters to bugger off.
You should feel GREAT for all the help you give. I appreciate it and THANK you.
Have a GREAT day.
Preston
John, Please Reply
I will be sailing on the Carnival Legend (for the third time) on September 12 with my 2 grandchildren, my son, and my daughter-in-law who were on the Blogger’s Cruise from New Orleans. My 5 year old grandson adores “Bobble Head” as he calls you when he tells me he wants to see your blog – he keeps asking me why you look so sad in your picture on the blog (my 10 year old granddaughter likes you also and she thought Lewis Nixon was so funny). I am not one to ask for favors (I am like you since I prefer to do nice things for other people) but I would appreciate it so much if you could possibly send them something from you which they will treasure. My grandson simply can not understand why you will not be on the ship.
Also, I know we will be in Ken’s dining room (Early Seating) since there is only one dining room but if I could ask you if it is not too much trouble if you would ask Ken to please put us on the bottom level of the dining room at one of the back windows so my grandchildren can see the ship going under the bridge in Tampa and maybe some other sights. This would be wonderful and I appreciate everything that you do for everyone. Ken is great and I am thrilled to be sailing with him again.
I know previously you had told someone that Wee Jimmy collects bears and Craig likes chocolate. I do not remember seeing anything about Ken (I probably missed it.) The bad thing would be getting the bear back home (shipping cost) and the chocolate becoming chocolate soup in the Florida heat. Is there anything else that you can think of for the three that would not incur shipping cost or an unusable collection (such as t-shirts they can not wear at work which is most of their time) that can easily be brought on the ship?
This brings me to another thought. If possible, it would be great if you also posted the ACD’s since a lot of the blogger’s know them as well.
Again, thanks for everything that you do and hopefully Heidi and Kye will join you soon.
Susanne
John, please reply.
As ever John, may thanks for the entertainment from the blog.
I would like to draw comment to Steve Cottrell’s remarks about you being “the most self obsessed, drunken egoist that there has ever been”.
Firstly, myself and the vast majority of your readers disagree that statement and we know it to be completely false.
Next, we have had no evidence of you being a drunkard and from what I read you seem to drink very little at all. This incorrect insult from Mr Cottrell only serves to highlight the in-accuracies and miss-truths in his statement.
Finally, your blog is a “personal web log”, that is simply what all blogs are. So naturally it will to a large extent be about you and it seems that millions of people like to read about you so how Mr Cottrell expects it not to be about you is a mystery.
As ever John, please keep up the good work and Mr Cottrell can blow it out his arse.
Your friend
Sean
Hello John, (Please reply)
I am fairly new to your blog thingy and I LOVE it. Please don’t listen to those evil people who knock the work that you do for so many! You are the highlight of my day!! Thank you…Thank you….Thank you
Since you have graciously helped so many, may I suggest a home remedy for your heartburn and acid reflux problems? I too was a long time Acid Reflux sufferer! I found information online that Apple Cider Vinegar helps reduce the acid therefore calming the heartburn (1 tablespoon in a glass of water 1 to 2 times a day). It tastes like crap but IT WORKS. It usually takes a couple of weeks to get the full benefits. I am now med free and enjoying things like hot wings once again!!!! Now I only take the “remedy” once or twice a week and live heartburn free. ACV is also great for weight loss (I have dropped 25 lbs) and is good for diabetes too.
I actually found your blog quite by accident while searching for information on our November 12th sailing on Carnival Spirit. My husband and I are celebrating our 5th Wedding Anniversary and some friends are coming along for the celebration. I have cruised before on another line but my husband has never cruised before.
I am hoping you can answer a couple of questions for us. I have contacted Carnival’s Customer Service but unfortunately no one seems to know the answers to these. Can you please shed some light on the following….
• Ixtapa / Zihuatanejo – We are 98 days prior to sailing and only 3 excursions have been available for booking in Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo. When I check the carnival general Shore Excursion information, 95% of the excursions offered are showing “inventory pending” so it doesn’t look like any sailings are able to book for this destination. Do you know when the inventory will be loaded so that we can book these? (We booked Acapulco and Manzanillo excursions 4 months ago)
• Allergies – One of our friends has a severe allergy to Strawberries. Is there anyone prior to sailing or on board that we should be contacting regarding this? I want to try Your Time Dining but she is quite hesitant.
• Chef’s Table – I would love to surprise my Hubby with this as an anniversary present. Does the Carnival Spirit offer this and if so who do I contact regarding making reservations?
Thank you once again for all that you do! Hoping to meet you in person one day soon.
Your Canadian Fan,
Jen
John,
I read your blog because I find it informative and it usually makes me literally laugh out loud. I love cruising and we usually cruise every year but this year we didn’t get to. Reading your blog makes me look forward to the next time we can go!!
I really do not understand why people feel the need to write negative comments to you about the blog. If they don’t like it, then hey, don’t read it!!! Please keep up the good work and try to let those people roll off your back.
Whenever we do cruise, I always look at the crew members and think how much they must miss their families. It truly is a huge sacrifice. Thank you so much and I really hope that some day I will cruise with you.
Mindy
John, we are not new cruisers but are new to Carnival. Our first Carnival cruise is not until Sept 2011 but I can’ t tell you how excited I am. I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy your blog. You just keep on doing what you do and you’re right, anyone who doesn’t like it can just “bugger off”. Oh, sorry. We can’t say that can we. I am a CC member and sometimes they can be incredibly annoying. I just kind of shake my head and think “You people need to get a life”. Anyway, keep up the good work and I truly look forward to sailing on Carnival next year.
John, I hope to see you twice next year as we have now booked a cruise on the Magic out of Barcelona on a 12 day excursion as well as the Blogger cruise. I am sure you will be on your best behavior which means we will have a great time. Be well and enjoy the great Splendor and those beautiful Mexican ports..
Dear John:
PLEASE REPLY
Having read all the negative publicity regarding the granting of special favours (spelled that way for you and my Canadian friends), I hesitate to ask for one myself, but it is a small one.
My SO and I met in the piano bar on the Glory in 2007. At that time, I was cruising with my mom and sister on my third Carnival cruise. It was his first. Even though there are 900 miles separating us, we have still managed to hang in there, and have since been on three more Carnival cruises together. Being a single mom, I wasn’t going to go on any more, but he decided that he loved me and loved cruising so much, that he has paid all my expenses on the last two and the next one coming up on October 17th on the Carnival Splendor. He rapidly caught up to me in the cruise count by going on two without me (darn him!).
Without getting too sappy (he breaks out in hives when I get all emotional), I wanted to make this one special. I have already called the Bon Voyage department and picked something he would like (the beer/cooler/mug/cap package) and made sure to swap the Budwieser for Coors Light, and we have made our Steakhouse reservations because he just can’t wait to get a grip on that monsterous t-bone they serve. We sit with our group, so I don’t need a special table either.
Now for the special favour part. I was wondering if you would leave him a brief note in our cabin welcoming him aboard and maybe tossing in a little hint that our platinum cruise would be even more special if it were our honeymoon. That would give him at least three years to get used to the idea. Come to think of it, maybe I should order a few more beers to revive him after he reads it.
Oops! One more favour – let me know where you ate the seafood ceveche. I live for that stuff and they just don’t know how to make it right way up here in MN.
Keep up the good work, John. I love reading your blog, especially now that you are on the Splendor. The Inner Sanctum of the Saints and Sinners are looking forward to seeing you again in October. You truly are the best in the business!
Kudos on the tendering policy as well as all the other great perks for the Platinum guests. I’ve got 8 down and two to go (both already booked)!
People who get mad because you do something for someone else are the same people who drive slow in the fast lane because they don’t want anyone else to pass them…. So sad….
John, you have done a few nice things for my family (Patrick’s birthday), and for so many people it would be impossible to count. However, if you stopped doing those things tomorrow, I would still be a loyal blogger because I love Carnival and I love what you do for Carnival.
Keep up the good work and God bless.
Goose was a great Cruise Director when I cruised with him in 2006 so I imagine he has only gotten better. At that time, I told him I was one of your blog readers and he said you were the best in the business and he was looking forward to working with you. I am sure he is thrilled to have you on board.
Hi John,
Please reply,
Every time I read about how Americans treat the waiter’s and waitresses in the dining room I think of the book “Cruise Confidential”. I know that you call it fiction, but the crew of the Carnival Paradise and a few that I talked to on the Carnival Splendor who read it tole me that what he wrote was 100% accurate. The book tells us how hard they work, the long hours they put in and also how many in the dining room treat them. I do have one question though, how many Brit’s (besides yourself) have worked for Carnival. Just wondering. I will say one thing for this book, John, and that is, it made me APPRECIATE these hard workers even more. They could be dead tired, but they will still have a big smile and treat me like royalty
One last question,. John do you like to read? If so, what kinds of books do you like.
Please Give my love to Heidi and Kye.
From your #1 Bloggy Thinggy Fan,
Kathy M..
I certainly enjoy all you do with your Blog, Having been with you on BC3 I can honestly say you are a true gentleman and what you do for Blogers in respect to Table seatings and special requests is great. We really enjoyed your company on the Carnival Dream Inaugural Cruise. However!!! We grow and use a lot of Garlic!!! It certainly smells better than those Stinking Stogies you favor!!!. Keep up the good work. Mike & Linda
Good grief! John, it’s your blog and you can talk about whatever you wish. Most of your seven million readers enjoy hearing about YOU – that’s why we keep reading. Please do not change and continue to help others as well.
John, Please reply.
This is the third time I have asked you for a reply to this question. I have not got an answer. This might make the difference if we cruise Carnival again.
What is there to do in San Juan at night. It could be scary. Please answer as we are planning our 7th cruise on Carnival. Wanted to go there on the Dream last year but had to cancel because of health problems and the ship couldn’t dock there, bummer
Please answer.