There are signs that your life has reached a certain level. You haven’t visited the dentist in 11 years, though you have a hole in your tooth so big you can rest a buffalo’s tongue in it. You still have the same pair of underpants that you spent your honeymoon night in. And you have more leads, chargers and adaptors than a Radio Shack superstore yet none of them fit the thing you want to charge.

This is probably what life coaches would call “poor personal management.” I prefer to call it “just being total crap.”
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“Your toothbrush may be killing you”……..so screamed the pop up thingy on my computer this morning as I turned on the BBC News website. Obviously this was met by me shouting “what a load of bollocks” at Mr. Dell but curiosity got the better of me and so I read the commercial.

And according to this online advert it turns out we are so cavalier about tooth hygiene that it’s not uncommon to find all manner of nasties on a toothbrush and it got me thinking. We use the same brush for months…..and in my case probably years, letting it fester in the bathroom gathering bacteria in its moist bristles and then we shove it in our mouths.
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Sometimes my fellow cruise directors come up with brilliant ideas and sometimes they come up with ideas that boarder on total lunacy. Take this e-mail that I received yesterday………..to protect the poor sod that wrote it I have deleted the stupid bugger’s name.

From: A. Sillysod
Sent: Monday, August 02, 2010 11:40 AM
To: Distlist Onboard Cruise Directors

Subject: Idea

This may sound off the wall but I just saw a calendar made by a firefighter friend of mine from New York.  His ladder company made a calendar with them all naked apart from a helmet placed over their hoses! They sold 3,000 copies with the money all going to charity. We should do this and the money goes to charity.  What do you think?

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I sometimes think that the big blogger in the sky thinks to herself…..right…….I am God and it is my duty to make sure that fat cruise director has something to write about so let’s make sure that every time he travels he has a story to tell. God then goes back to watching re runs of Little House on the Prairie leaving me in the crapper.

My flight yesterday was on Virgin, flight 007, to Los Angeles and using the last of my air miles I upgraded myself to business class. And I have to say that while his trains are leave a lot to be desired, old beardy knows how to run an airline.
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