I have been thinking about what Calmcruiser wrote about the photo of me on this blog’s header and how angry she was that my teeth and chin(s) had been photo shopped. And to be honest it rather upset me, not just because she and a few others seem to be taking as many chances to kick me in the bollocks as they can……but also because with the teeth thingy….she was right.
Years of smoking cigars, drinking coffee have left my teeth looking as though an elephant had wiped its arse on them. Heidi mentioned this some years ago just before we brought out the Carnival Liberty in 2006 and she booked me in for a teeth whitening procedure as a sodding Christmas present. Now I have written so many blogs over the past three years that I can’t remember if I have mentioned this story before but in case I have I apologize. One thing I do know I have mentioned is my hatred of dentists and that I would rather sandpaper my own nipples off then go sit in that torturers chair ever again.
Anyway, Heidi told me that this had nothing to do with a dentist and that it was a painless thing that would be over before I knew it. I thought I knew how cosmetic tooth whitening works. A sexy nurse (hopefully Latvian) would smear goo on my teeth, shine some sort of laser at it and that would be that… I would walk out with the nuclear smile like someone named Stone from The Bold and the Bollocks.
My first disappointment was that she wasn’t pretty or Latvian but instead she was a he called Graham. When I opened the door to go in I remember emitting a small amount of oily discharge into my underpants because the room I was having this done in looked like a dentist’s room complete with the Spanish inquisition style chair. The dentist explained my teeth might feel a bit sensitive during the procedure, but so what? I’m no nine-year-old girl. Honest, I’m not. How painful could it be?
The process itself consisted of three 15-minute sessions under the magic light.
Session one passed was OK. I felt a strange tightening sensation in my teeth, but that was it. Shortly into the second session, I felt a sharp, sudden pain. Have you even bitten into a ice lolly (or popsicles I believe you call them) with sensitive teeth? Take that sensation and multiply it by 1,000. Then imagine it lasting far longer, and occurring without warning. I writhed in the chair, tears filling my eyes ruining yet another pair of underpants.
“That’s the sensitivity I was talking about,” said the dentist, patting me on the arm. I wanted to see how sensitive his mouth would be if I put my fist in it bit then another shot of pain made me with in agony. The pain gradually ebbed away. “Be a man,” I thought.
By the end I was no longer thinking about “riding this out.” I wasn’t thinking at all… I was a confused animal. I was not of this Earth and the only thing that I vaguely remember was asking myself what I had done to piss Heidi off that was so bad that she had bought me this trip to hell …………. for Christmas.
As Graham took the light away and removed the clamp holding my mouth open he said, “Don’t worry, your teeth will only do that for a little while.”
How little? “About 48 hours,” he said. “I’d take some Ibuprofen if I were you.”
I staggered across the road to the drug store. While begging for Ibuprofen, another tooth went off, which meant I actually asked for “Ibuproaaaaaaaaaaaah” instead. For the rest of the day I sat at home, demented, oral firecrackers exploding at random intervals. I contemplated shoving my head into the microwave and ending it all. Anything to make it stop. And the end result was that yes, my teeth were whiter and I could smile guests without making them vomit. But that was 4 years ago and more cigars and coffee later they have lost their sparkle.
After reading Calmcruisers posting I thought about having another treatment so I could smile at her and say “ha ha ha” but frankly, I’d rather smash my teeth out with a hammer then ever do that again.
Time for today’s questions……….lets smile and crack on.
Diane Scheliga Asked:
Hello John Please Reply,Thank you so much for the fantastic week and being with you on your first Cali cruise (8-8-10). The Splendor was truly awesome! Thank you also for sending my parents the gifts for their 50th wedding anniversary. This cruise was special for us and with our group of 21 even more fun. My parents have had struggles with their health. My mother’s surviving stage 2 cancer, and my father’s diabetes and heart attack. We are so blessed that they both are here with us. I sent in a note, but I guess we were having so much fun, we always seemed to miss seeing it on the morning show. Thank you for their gifts they were so proud to show them off and thanked me. Which I will always remember.
We had an awesome time on board. The food was the best we have ever had and Shane in the Golden Pearl Dining room was great too. Our Servers at table 230 especially Kitute (sorry I am not sure on the spelling) was always there when we needed him. Both servers even knew sometimes before we did that we needed something else. The magic man was also entertaining. My daughter still has the card he autographed. I Say Hello….
This cruise marked my 10th and my husband’s 9th. We along with our three children Amanda 23, Melissa 18, & Danny 12 were so happy that you were our CD. I can thank you now for not having to do the laundry, since we utilized the Platinum laundry services. I can put away clean clothes! On another note, you must have missed my cabin with my free photo of you in the thong. I guess the demand was so high you must have run out. LOL. Having the concierge desk to use was a nice service. We did avoid a super long line a few times. As for the Priority Tender in Cabo San Lucas, it was not available on the way back. I asked a Carnival uniformed officer, but he said they did not have it for the way back.
I think my only thing that I would have changed would have been the music that played till 12:30AM or later every night from the Oceanview Promenade band/person with the large drum set and no volume control on the guitar. I sleep with earplugs, but when your bed is beating with the music, it’s too much. I did call down to the concierge desk, and they said they would ask them to turn it lower. It never did. I would have never booked this floor, but when you need a triple and they don’t have them across a balcony room we did not have too many choices. We did stay up some nights late and did not hear them, but on the days we needed to get up early it would have been nice to have sleep before the band stopped playing.
We love the beautiful pictures, as you can imagine getting the whole family together for a photo and everyone looking so good, only to leave them in a trash can. I wish they could have more reasonable photo prices. $89.00 for only 3 (8 x10’s) and two small ones. I am sure we could have purchased all of them if they were more affordable. I was a waste to throw them away. I know don’t take them or don’t go on a cruise. After paying for 6 people to go on this cruise. It can get expensive. I wonder how much money was made from the photos in the trash. Maybe the Beards know?
Okay, on a more happier note. We did love the shows and all the fun times, we can always remember you being ridden like a pony, Mr. Little, or course we will always have Bakersfield. We never did hear what they received.
We loved seeing us in your pictures, we are on the stage dancing and your descriptions of our menus. I will print these out for our scrapbook!
We have to sail with the Mouse before we have our next Carnival cruise in 2011 on the Miracle. We did buy the future cruise certificates, and the staff at that desk are so nice and very informative. So we are all set!
I will enjoy the blog as always and until next time, Cheers!
Diane ScheligaJohn Says:
Hello Diane ScheligaThank you so much for that great review and I am so happy I got to share my first cruise on the Carnival Splendor with you all. It was my pleasure to send your parents the gifts and I hope they had wonderful anniversary cruise and are ready for another 50 years together. I want to thank you for telling me about the tender situation coming back from Cabo and I have no rectified that situation for our Platinum and Milestone guests, my apologies for that. The concierge desk is a huge benefit as well and I am glad your found this useful. Bakersfield received a whole bag of goodies including a beautiful diamond and sapphire pendant. He was a real sport and became truly famous that week. Thanks too for the kind words and the note about the photos. It was a real honour (spelt correctly) to be with you all and I hope you have a great time on Disney Cruises. Did you hear the news that one of their ships failed the United States Public Health inspection…….. yep ………..apparently the ship was overrun with giant mice! Seriously, have fun there and I hope it won’t be too long before we see you on a Carnival ship once again.
Best wishes to all
JohnSee2Sea Asked:
John respondI want you to have a look at this link to a poll that is ongoing on Cruise critic. It shows that over 500 people feel that Carnival should stop immediately the dancing and music in the dining halls. On my carnival cruise I hated the constant interruption and it shows that hundreds of others do as well. To make the servers dance and look like performing monkeys is disgraceful. I am sure you know what a driving force Cruise Critic is in your industry so I felt you needed to see this: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1156125.
I look forward to your immediate action.
John Says:
Hello Sea2SeaI have responded recently to another question about this poll but this is the first time I have seen the actual results so thank you for taking the time to send it. It does indeed show that 566 readers want the dancing and parades to stop but it also shows 835 readers do not. I must tell you that the crew truly enjoy doing this and while some are certainly more capable at dancing and singing then others they all enjoy the freedom of expression. I can tell you now that as much as myself and Carnival realize the importance of all Cruise Critic members that have absolutely no intention of stopping what is something that I truly believe that the vast majority of our guests truly appreciate.
Thanks again for taking the time to write
Best wishes
JohnLeslee Asked:
Dear John (Please reply, if possible),Back on your June 7th blog posting you asked me to post a reminder to you with our stateroom number on the 9/16 sailing of the Sensation. This is the Mom & Daughter cruise with me and my 17 yr old daughter, Julia. We are in our first balcony room ever (M114), with our anticipation growing by leaps and bounds as each day passes! Actually, you had said our sail date was 9/17, but according to all my documents, it is, in fact, 9/16. Last year (2009) the Sensation did sail on 9/17, but not this year. I’m guessing you were looking at an old schedule when you looked up the elegant night for me… no worries though!
Thank you again for your help and maybe someday we will be fortunate enough to join you on a voyage somewhere. My husband and I are contemplating the Magic Transatlantic currently and would absolutely LOVE to be on that sailing! All my best to you, Heidi and Kye.
Thank you for your kindness, it is very much appreciated!
LesleeJohn Says:
Hello LesleeJust wanted to wish you a wonderful cruise. Please tell me all about it when you get home.
Best wishes
JohnBen Clayton Asked:
John, Please replyI have discovered via cruise critic that you will reserve tables for dinner at the Chef’s table. I want such a reservation so what do I do?
Ben
John Says:
Hello BenYes I am indeed happy to do this for you so please complete the following information and post it once again on the blog thingy.
Mark the posting Chef’s Table reservation please
NAME
SAILING DATE
SHIP
E MAIL ADDRESS
NUMBER OF SEATS
We won’t post your e mail address but we need that so the ship can send a conformation e mail to you. It is a wonderful experience and I am happy to help you reserve your place at The Chef’s Table.
Best wishes
JohnSusan Garoutte Asked:
JohnI really enjoy reading your interviews with the crew members – as a former tech crew person I applaud the skill and perseverance that these folks must have to do the awesome jobs they do! Thanks for giving them a well-deserved recognition!
My hubby and I are cruising on the Carnival Dream September 11. I know we are close on time but would it be possible for you to send a little something to our cabin? If there isn’t time I understand – you were already wonderful to help with our Chef’s Table reservation and I appreciate it! We’re celebrating several milestones and it would be such fun to have a little something special from my favorite blog thingy writer!
I hope that your lovely family is doing well and I’m sure you are all looking forward to being together again!
John Says:
Hello Susan GaroutteI really must make the effort to include more crew interviews here but I keep finding time is in short supply. I will though do this for sure as I know like you so many enjoy reading about thee iconic young people. Have a wonderful time on your Carnival Dream and please pass along my best to your fabulous Cruise Director Butch.
Best wishes
JohnRandall W Asked:
John Please ReplyWe had the joy of having you as our CD last year on The Legend along with about 300 Gothic Cruisers and had a ball. This is the only cruise where we have actually purchased the DVD because we laughed so hard at the “Dirk Dastardly Show” the little old man saying “I’m gonna kick your ###” was priceless.
We are booked for the Dream this year but unfortunately we won’t be there with you. The CD is listed as Josh Waltzman. Can you tell me anything about him? We haven’t sailed with him before.
Also, this is our first time on Dream and we are taking my Mother in Law with us for her 60th birthday. This will be her first time on Carnival and we want to make it memorable. Is there anything you can recommend for us to do for her??
Thanks in advance.
John Says:
Hello Randall WAhhh the Gothic cruise. I had so much fun on that voyage and met some amazing people and one or two or were nice by day but truly bizarre by night. Josh is known as Big Sexy and at least one of those is true……….and it isn’t the sexy bit. What is true though is that he is one of our up and coming stars who has been given the chance to be the CD on our flagship because we really believe he is that good. He is full of fun and I promise he will give you the best of times. Please can you send me the sailing date and as well as you booking. I recommend you book a special meal at the steakhouse to celebrate this special occasion but if you do send me your details and her name I will also ask Josh to send her something for her special day. Please send this one month before you sail. I am glad you had fun with me on the Carnival Legend and I know for sure you will love your Carnival Dream.
Best wishes
JohnPeter J Asked:
John, reply needed pleaseWe will be cruising with you on September 19th. We booked this cruise specifically because you will be the cruise director as I am sure many Carnival passengers do. I wanted to know if cigar smoking is allowed and if so where. I have read you are a cigar aficionado so I am bringing you one and hopefully I will get to share one with you. See you on the 19th
Peter and family
John Says:
Hello Peter JI am very humbled indeed that you and your family have decided to cruise with me on the Carnival Splendor and I promise I will do my very very best to make sure you have a brilliant time. The Robusto Cigar bar on deck 4 is our lovely cigar bar and hopefully you and I will have time to enjoy some long ashes together. Please would you leave me a note when you arrive at the Guest Services Desk with your stateroom number on it. I will see you all soon and thanks again for taking your valuable vacation time with us here at Carnival.
Best wishes to all
JohnLynn and Dave Asked:
John, please respond……. please help.We are sailing on Carnival Legend, room 4141, on September 26. We have been confirmed for an 8:15. Our request is a table for two, preferably in the middle or front of the dining room on the main floor. This will be a special cruise for us because we will be celebrating a special occasion.
Since there is only one dining room we are excited about the possibility of being entertained by Ken Byrne. We sailed with him on the Carnival Glory, Carnival Freedom, Carnival Splendor, but missed him on the Carnival Dream since he left for vacation on the day we embarked. Will Ken, the best singing (and only one that I know of) maitre d’, be still on the ship for this sailing? He always makes the dining experience special. If he will be there, please send him our request. We are looking forward to seeing him again.
Thanks for any help you can give us.
LynnJohn Says:
Hello LynnYou will be so looking forward I am sure to cruising with the incomparable Ken Byrne. I have sent him your details and I am positive he will do all he can to accommodate your request. Have a wonderful cruise on the Carnival Legend and please tell me all about it when you get home.
Best wishes
JohnGolfmom98 Asked:
Dear John,(Please reply. Even though it’s not necessary I wanted to make sure you read this)
I simply cannot thank you and the crew of the Carnival Ecstasy enough!!! My son and I cruised the Ecstasy August 7-12 and I had asked you to arrange a small surprise for my son who was celebrating his 5th year post brain tumor, which you did and my son and I are so grateful he loved his ship on a stick and his medal! The crew of the Ecstasy were simply FABULOUS!!!! You will have to forgive me as I forgot to write down the names of our state room stewards and our dining staff but they were simply amazing!!! From the always crisp fresh sheets to the towel animals to the bar waiter who knew what sodas we liked and always had them for us at dinner the whole experience was fantastic!!! I would like to especially thank Monica I believe she works with the hotel director or guest services but she was fabulous in arranging the surprise you had for him!!!! Cruise Director Steve was amazing on the fiddle and funny as always. My son had a fabulous time with the kids and directors of Camp Carnival!!! The whole experience was surreal and amazing. Please pass my appreciation for them on as I know so many of the staff is never thanked at all let alone enough!! The whole crew was great and accommodating I simply cannot say enough about all of them. Please let them and all of the Beards in Miami that the Ecstasy staff is amazing and they all deserve a raise. (You do to for arranging the little surprises for us.) I look forward to sailing her again in May for our second annual Belly dance Cruise to Cozumel. I still cannot thank you and the crew of the Ecstasy enough or give them a glowing enough review this cruise went way beyond my expectations. Thank you again John without you this trip would have still been perfect but because of you it was absolutely astoundingly beyond perfection! Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times thank you and the crew of the Carnival Ecstasy!!
One final thank you,
Golfmom98P.S. Sorry about all of the exclamation points, but I had to make sure you saw the enthusiasm that I have for the crew and what you do!!!
John Says:
Hello Golfmom98The perfect way to finish today’s Q and A and all that’s left for me to do is to say thank you for taking the time to write and all of us here on the blog wish your son continuing health and happiness. I will make sure the ship gets to see your amazing words of praise! Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you.
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today. Please let me know if there is something I can do for you.
So far the cruise is going well but during my welcome aboard show a curious thing happened. Just ten minutes into my opening monologue a whole row of guests stood up……..and walked out. Now I am used to one or two or three buggering off but not a complete rows. Now obviously I made fun of this happening suggesting that maybe they had not eaten in nearly an hour and were heading up to the Lido Deck to graze again. But while the audience laughed I got no reaction from the folks who were walking out which set alarm bells ringing and so I backed off, wished them a great night and carried on with the show. Well, the following morning I realized who these 40 people were who left because I received this e mail.
From: SPLENDOR GUEST SERVICES SUPERVISOR
Sent: Sunday, September 06, 2010 9:44 PM
To: SPLENDOR CRUISE DIRECTOR
Cc: SPLENDOR HOTEL DIRECTOR; SPLENDOR GUEST SERVICES MANAGER
Subject: Jehovah’s Witnesses Group – Group Leader Mr _______I had a meeting with the group leader of the Jehovah’s Witnesses group of guests. Mrs.____ is very unhappy with the shows and with the activities and wants to talk to you about them. Sorry John but she also said that your show was not suitable and the dancers costumes were so revealing that she and her group left. Please can you meet with her when you can?
Thanks and regards
Guest Services Supervisor.
Oh joy.
So my meeting didn’t go to well. The group leader didn’t shout or scream but quietly told me that my place in hell had been reserved and apparently I would be joined by many of the guests sailing this week. I want to say at this point that I have total and utter respect for every religion, whatever their beliefs. I was brought up in a Christian family and I cannot imagine how many different religions are represented amongst the crew and of course the guests themselves. I was told that my sexual innuendos at the show and my talk of margaritas in Mexico and my promotion of the casino and bars, etc., would mean that I was on my way downstairs. Yep, she told me that I was going to hell. I was going to ask if Megan Fox was going to be there but I thought better of it.
Seriously though while I would never ridicule their beliefs I just do not understand why they would chose a fun for all cruise for their church’s vacation. She told me they don’t drink, don’t gamble and that the comedy shows were the devil’s work and that the costumes of the dancers were too reveling. I asked Mrs. JW Leader what her expectations had been. And you know what; she really couldn’t answer me so she went back on the attack again. I asked her what I could do to make the group happy. The result of this is that I have given them a private meeting room each morning and each evening so that they can meet and do what they want. She asked for board games and trivia games etc which I have supplied plus I offered a staff member to come and do private activities for them which she refused.
My frustration is not with the fact that I will be apparently having my bollocks roasted over a spit by Beelzebub but that there is little else I can do for them to make them happy. I had a comment from a friend of mine on Facebook.
His name is Zac and he told me that he was a Jehovah’s Witness and that he had read this blog and enjoyed my humour and that he had cruised Carnival before and that he had a great time. His comments spurred me into checking on something and I am so very happy I did. You see, I went down to the room where they have their private functions and in the conference room there were just 10 people of all ages from the group sitting playing cards and board games. I spent 20 minutes there talking to them all and everyone said they were having a great time. One couple even said they thought the welcome aboard show was funny. So my suspicions were correct and that’s thanks to Zac’s posting on my Facebook thingy. You see, I think it’s the group leader who is the most upset at what I (we) do and that she has influenced the rest of the group. Maybe I am wrong but so far, the only one who thinks I am the sperm of the devil…..is her. Anyway, I will continue to work hard to do my best for them.
One other slightly bizarre request was from a gentleman who asked his stateroom steward to cover all the mirrors in his cabin. Now, he didn’t say why and when I read this report I wondered what this was all about. I asked my friends on Facebooky if they knew and there were answers suggesting it was a religious thing and ones that suggested he was a vampire. Turns out though the answer is rather more obvious. He has a mirror phobia and that’s why our ever accommodating staff has covered them for him. So since I have been here on the Carnival Splendor we have had a lady with a coat hanger phobia and now this.
Each time we were able to help ……..I wonder if most hotels would have done the same. Oh and I wonder if their front desks get asked if they know where the local house of pleasure is. Yep, one of the entertainment staff was asked this by a guest yesterday during the past guest party. He wanted to know where the “ladies” were in P.V. As one of my Facebook friends suggested ….. to exceed his expectations I am going to knock on his door wearing my Dolly Parton costume.
The Welcome Aboard show is always the place to make stars of guests and here is one such chap. There are so many Asian American guests here this cruise and there is one who the entire ship is talking about. His name is Mr. Chen and in this video you will see he has no idea where his wife is or how long he has been married and the results of this are hilarious. With apologies for my lame “wong name” joke again, I invite you to meet the incomparable Mr. Chen.
By the way, I am on a mission. I went to the dining room today for lunch. You know, more of you should do this. I know that the fare on Lido is excellent but so is what we have in the dining room. Heidi had the Californian roll and the pepper Pot soup which she described as “fantastic.” I had the steak sandwich which used to be a feature at the lido grill didn’t it. Then it disappeared and today I decided to write to the beards and try and get it back. Festooned with onions it was one of my favourite things…….so I am as I said on a mission……to bring back the sensational Carnival steak sandwich.
With apologies in advance to those who hate the family segments of this blog thingy, today’s last word is from Heidi.
We are here!
Kye and I did a 10 hour and 15 minutes flight and she slept for most of it. Being a big Bold and the Beautiful fan (I am sorry if that lowers your opinion of me ), I was excited to go to LA, I expected all people who live here to look as good as the characters in the series and all the people in the baggage hall to look as good as Victoria Beckham when she flies back and forth between LA and blighty….well, they say the U.S.A. is the land of “dreams” and in this case it was …….the line at customs and immigration was full of sweaty and tired looking people with creased clothes and no pearl white smiles in sight.
Kye and I got to the hotel to find (once again) no crib in the room. After the crib was sorted, Kye washed, fed and in bed, I took a shower myself. Whilst in the shower (men bloggers, don’t get any illusions about what’s coming next), I was thinking that the “no crib” situation happened the last time we came to visit John and then I realized that the hotel we stayed in then was a Hyatt as well and to confirm this was the case I only had to open the soap provided in the bathroom and I was sure I stayed in a Hyatt hotel before. I am sorry if anyone works for Hyatt or for the brand of soap they provide but it stinks. It smells so bad that I rather not wash my hands then wash them with that. The shampoo is just as bad and the conditioner too. I think it was called something like Portico…yak! It is white ginger based and it’s just horrible. OK, enough about the soap, I am starting to sound like John, “moaning after traveling,” I am sure you all want to know how Kye is doing.
Well, she is her usual great self. Of course she is completely thrown by the 8 hour time difference, eating a huge breakfast this morning, thinking it was dinner and having no dinner tonight, thinking “why on earth are you feeding me at this hour??” She was so pleased to see John as they walked hand in hand in the lobby of the hotel this morning.
Walking onto the Carnival Splendor gangway today was strange but in a good way. I walked off that same gangway pregnant with Kye and to now come back and see lots of ex-colleagues as a “mummy” was very special.
John had bought every toy from El Walmarto and must have spent a fortune but Kye loves all her new toys, the attention and being with her Daddy.
Thanks to you all for being so kind to me and Kye and for looking after John. I think he was feeling down these last few days as he was missing us a lot and he told me about some people writing some horrible things about him on the blog so thank you all for looking after him. As I am writing this, John is doing his show and I can hardly keep my blood shot eyes open so I am going to join Kye in dreamland.
Bye bye for now.
Heidi and Kye
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
John,
Thanks for posting videos from the cruise. It makes me sorta feel like I was there, and gives me a quick cruise fix in the middle of the week.
Aww…glad to hear Heidi and Kye got there safely.
That video was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
wonderful to hear from you heidi and we are so happy you are all together now. hope to see you on the blogger 4 cruise!
smiles, bonnie and prince charlie
Hi John,
I agree bring back the Carnival steak sandwich at the grill, you could also add soup of the day at the grill.
It seems there are alot of different types of people trying a cruise. Gets interesting.
I 2nd this post. Carnival has the best soups, and being able to get one at the grill would be great.
I wish a lunch selection in the MDR was a soup/sandwich combo of some kind. With the soup coming in a larger portion.
I always eat in the MDR on sea days because I prefer the personal service.
John:
The Caribbean Pepper Pot soup is wonderful. (along with the Chinese Pepper Steak…another staple of the Lunch Menu)
We try to make a point of eating lunch in the Main Dining Room every Sea Day.
I have a terrible phobia of dentists. Growing up, our town dentist was an alcoholic (not a good combination).
Thankfully today there is a little pill that makes dentistry manageable. Thankfully, I don’t need it for the 6 month cleanings….but anything more extensive and it is mandatory.
Sorry that the Jehovah Witnesses were not taught basic manners in their “religious education”. Glad to hear that it is a situation of one rude leader and a bunch of sheep…instead of the entire group being rude.
So glad the Heald family are all together…….
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
John,
My wife and I are so excited to be sailing on the Splendor with you beginning Sept 19th. This is our 4th Carnival Cruise. Our first was our honeymoon and you were our Cruise Director then on the Triumph in June 2001. We have since sailed on the Glory and Valor and now the Splendor in a couple of weeks.
I know you have many funny stories, but we were at the show when you did an audience participation thing with “the wind blew” and “the rain fell” and you nearly lost all ability to have children and ended up doubled over on the stage when the “help me help me, save me save me” woman ran towards you, jumped on you and kneed you in the groin. You also told the “vilan” to say “I’m going to kill you” with venom (in his voice) and he said “I’m going to kill you with venom” and then he said “Who’s your daddy?”
Anyway, it went on this way for the whole skit and was hilarious. I don’t know how you do it! It is the only cruise video we have ever purchased.
Anyway, I am hoping that you can help me. The last two times we have cruised we noticed that they didn’t have that first cruise on the Triumph attached to our account. I call them and the things they want us to provide are things we don’t have. We didn’t buy the embarkation photo and it was 9 years ago and don’t have the credit card receipts or sail and sign cards anymore. Do you know how we can get “credit” for this cruise?
Looking forward to seeing you on in a couple of weeks and even more looking forward to the cruise.
Darby
Good to hear from you Heidi, and all us bloggers would love to see a video of Kye and Daddy going for a walk, can that be arranged?
John: Don’t let anyone bring you down with their negativity. They are just plain jealous, you are a great guy, and stop worrying about what people say about your teeth, weight, whatever. That is their problem, we all think you look great just the way you are.
As far as the Jehovah’s witnesses, why would they book a cruise on the FUN SHIP and then walk out on your show, if they weren’t there to have FUN, they should have stayed home! My biggest pet peeve with them is on Christmas Day they come knocking on your door to sell their religion! You know what I say to them – YOU must be desperate if you have to try to sell your religion to people, especially on such a sacred holiday as Christmas. JW’s don’t celebrate Christmas, they don’t even celebrate or acknowledge birthdays! Isn’t that just ludicrous?
You enjoy your wife and daughter and just know how lucky you are to have such a wonderful family and more friends that you can ever count. We all LOVE you! Linda & Mike PS Big hugs and kisses for KYE from her auntie and uncle in Florida.
I second this. Video of john and kye together would be great. Isnt it about time we start getting kye on stage with john?
We want video.
Oh john how did the dolly parton thing go with your very happy guest? Did it exceed his expectations?
Big Fans As Allways,
Frank and Bridie
John- Calm cruiser makes me smile too!
When I cruise on Carnival I’m in another world. ( Cruise Time) I love the show , food, and the people that are having fun. If I could I would live on a cruise ship.
The ports of call are fun to tour and shop.
Do not let people spoil “The FUN Ship”
Thanks, John!! I contacted you in early August asking that you help me make Chloe Gilberg’s first cruise very special–you’ll remember she was a retired teacher from my faculty. You forwarded my remarks to Stu asking that he read them on his morning show, which he did, and he also sent Chloe and her husband a nice note and champagne. She was so thrilled. She said the trip “was truly an experience of a lifetime.” John, you really MUST go on an Alaskan cruise. I’ve been twice and Chloe’s right! BTW I love following you on FB–you were born to post there! It’s great getting 3-4 “John fixes” a day. In some ways it’s even more fun that the daily reading of the blog–I think it’s because you have to condense your humor into a real 1-2 punch. Thanks for all you do!
It is great to hear from you Heidi! I know that you have to be exhausted after your journey with Kye. Its fun though to see her with her daddy again I’ll bet. Thanks for taking the time to write and update us on your trip.
John, don’t worry about these people that are bashing you lately. It is sometimes hard to know why people find it satisfying to attack others but no one is forcing them to read the blog. It must be jealousy of your popularity.
Dear Heald girls (and John too, of course),
Great to hear from you again Heidi. I know that flight is long and boring. The hotel “soap”, what can I say? Hope John likes that brand because I’ve been saving those up for him to add to his BC4 gift basket!! What he really needs is a couple hundred gallons of laundry detergent for those infamous underpants of his…..you know, the ones from Marks and Spencer.
Absolutely loved seeing that picture of you and Kye and John together. Hope there will be some more of those coming up. Jet lag can be tough. I hope it passes quickly for you both. You’ll get some good rest while John is working his rear off entertaining in his special way. Loved the Mr. Chin/Chen/Chang video John. I hope I didn’t get his name “wong”!
John has had to put up with some really lousy comments recently. We try to always let him know how much we love him and what he is doing…..and that he is doing it JUST RIGHT. You’ve got a great man Heidi. He is so kind and generous and a true gentleman……his humour (spelt correctly) is legend. I love to see the comments from guests who booked a certain cruise BECAUSE he would be CD (which, by the way, my sister and I have done several times). He is a truly remarkable guy and his continued restraint and diplomacy while answering questions on the blog is amazing.
I hope you and Kye will have a wonderful time onboard Carnival Splendor. Enjoy every minute. We will continue to hope you and John will let us know of some of the things you are doing as you sail along.
John’s OLD buddy,
Steve O
Heidi,
I’m glad you made it here without to much problem. I think your just in time to save John’s sanity. Those westcoaster plus being away from his girls was getting to him.
We all know a happy John makes for a happy cruise ship.
Write often with more of those happy Kye pictures.
BIG Ed
dear john,(please reply) glad to see te family all together.
i don’t know what it is with dentists in the UK. you need to see mine here in schulenburg. we are only 2 hours drive from galveton. shall i make you an appointment?
there is a two word expression in nederlands for see you soon. i can say it but not write it. can heidi help me out? lived in the nederlands for four years and am embarassed to say did not learn the language but learned to love the country and people
ann from texas
TTFN
Dear John, Please reply
It was a pleasure meeting you on the conquest back in March. It was your 1st week on the boat and I had asked if someone knew who sexy craig was. That is when we ran into you and Craig in the cigar bar. I also brought my son to meet the both of you. We still remember you making fun of lady gag gag as you called her. We had a fabulous time on our cruise and have already booked the next one which is during Thanksgiving week. We are bringing our 20 year old son who did not go last time. My son has Autism but is going to college in the culinary field. I was wondering if you could manage to send maybe chocolate covered strawberries to our room 1 day and maybe canopies on another day. He is really excited about baking and I think it would make his day to have those delivered to our room. Also, I remember on a few cruises ago that there was a time when you could go in the kitchen area to see how all the amazing work is done. I am not talking about the behind the scenes tour. Is there anything like that. That would make his day. We will be on the Glory Nov 21-28. We are in rooms 6295 and 6297. Thanks in advance for anything you can do. I love reading your blog. Also, is Craig still with you?
STEPHANIE:
Andrea probably meant to put JOHN PLEASE REPLY on this message…..could you please send it to John?
THANK YOU
Linda (Mom of DJ)
How great for you to have your family with you. I hope they can cheer you up so your critics don’t concern you so much. I sure hope the Beards appreciate how much you put into your job. Mike & Linda
Heidi, I think I have been waiting for your arrival on the Carnival Splendor, almost as much as John has! I can only imagine how difficult it is to be separated for such long periods of time, and the joy when you are together, again. John, I don’t understand why people say such hurtful things to ANYONE! What is gained by it? I know it hurts, but please, as my dear grandmother used to say, “Consider the source.” With regard to the situation with the JW, you amaze me at how well you responded. And then to recognize that the problem was a single individual, and not the entire group! Anyway, you rock! Keep on keeping on! Give Kye a kiss from me!
Beautifully said Darlene. Thank you.
Welcome Home Heidi and Kye!! Please keep us up to date on how you’re doing. We love hearing all about it. Have a great time and keep blogging
Hi John (Please Reply),
Just got back a couple of weeks ago from the Carnival Legend (August 15th cruise). We had 8 family members in our group…my husband and I, my sister (all 50 somethings), our 3 sons, a daughter-in-law and a fiancé (who just became our new daughter in law this past Saturday!) Although it gets a tad expensive to pay for everyone it sure is fun to travel with our “kids”!
I had written to you about a month before our cruise with some questions about smoking in the piano bar and lounge chairs on the outside of deck 3…and also a request to have you acknowledge my son & daughter-in-law’s anniversary. Here is the response you had given me:
Let me start by saying a big thank you for being such a faithful blog reader and for your kind words. As you may have read here on the blog thingy we recently tried some smoking experiments on our ships. Oops………..smoking experiments……….that sounded like a bunch of us were sitting on promenade deck smoking a palm tree listening to Frank Zappa songs. What I mean is that we tried some different smoking and non-smoking options. These tests have finished now and all lounges have returned to their previous state. This means the piano bars still allow smoking in them. We shall see what the future holds. Now, the deck chair thing is a mystery and I checked with the ships. They told me that during a high count of families sailing that some of the chairs were moved to the Lido decks but there were still chairs available on deck 3 and there are certainly still many chairs available on the deck 3 areas. I checked with the Carnival Legend and that is also the case there as well.
I will be honoured (spelt correctly) to send your son and daughter in law a gift and will ask Wee Jimmy your CD to do so.
I don’t want this to sound like a negative post, but I did want to follow up. (I promise to cover the good stuff too!) As far as the piano bar…it really wasn’t too smoky. That is only because it was usually pretty empty. Not sure of the piano player’s name…but he must have bought bubble gum with the money his mother gave him for singing lessons.
What I was more disappointed by was that there were no lounge chairs on the deck under the lifeboats. I even visited with Jen Baxter one evening and she said chairs were not allowed on deck 3 (lobby deck) since it must be used as a muster station during an emergency. I guess I understand the reasoning…but I missed being able to use this quiet, shaded area on sea days.
Also I wanted to let you know that nothing was done about the anniversary. I realize that you have a million things to do so I completely understand.
In spite of what I’ve mentioned we did have a wonderful week. Part of the credit is due to our excellent waiters…Mario (from Croatia) and German (from Columbia). Dinner with them was such a highlight. I also want to mention another waiter, Eddy, who served us at tea time and again at breakfast. What a funny, personable guy. And last, but not least I want to acknowledge our steward, Putharat Jeeraurit (Jerry). He knew all of our names and never failed to say “hi” in the hallway or ask about how our day was. He has been with Carnival for many, many years and is a great asset to your company.
We wanted to give each of these men a little praise on the comment card and were very surprised when we did not receive one to fill out. We checked with guest services and were told that they no longer give out comment cards and we should make our comments “online”. I assume this must be done on the Carnival website…but I haven’t figured out where yet. Any ideas? How long ago did they do away with the cards??
Thanks once again for your very funny blog. I don’t always get every word read now that school has started (I am a teacher)…but I try!
John, Please Reply.
I only want to point out to all those Cruise Critics that they should get their information straight before making horrible comments about you and the dining room FUN. The singing and dancing isn’t a “constant” interruption at all. It never starts before everyone has their food delivered and in fact, for the most part, we’re done with dessert when the festivities begin. If people don’t want to be a part of the singing and dancing – go to Lido. Or better yet, leave before it starts. This is something Carnival should be proud of – it’s just a lot of Fun and just ONE MORE WAY for Carnival to keep the FUN in cruising!
I’m sure by the time you get this the topic will be dead, but if it’s still alive then you can post it. Otherwise, no need to reply. We’re on YOUR side Carnival! Sincerely, Mrs. Cannoli of Taormina
Hi John,
I was one who posted on the cruise critic poll about the waiter shows but we really like them and hope they continue. That’s one thing I’m concerned about our Carnival Victory cruise on Sunday since we have anytime dining. We’ll have to plan our timing and get a table by the railing so we can still at least watch if not actually get to join in. The waitstaff we’ve talked with like doing the dances and singing and I think it’s very degrading to call them performing monkeys.
Heidi – it’s great to hear from you and am glad you and Kye get to spend some time with John. I know he really missed you both.
George and Linda
Hi John Heidi nmKye
Wonderful to see you Blog Heidi, I am glad you and Kye had a safe trip. So Happy John has his “Girls “with him. I have been catching up with the past blogs been out of touch for 2 weeks.The pettiness over the blog and the picture makes my blood boil. I noticed the new picture and said Cool a new picture. Didn’t think to blast it. My gosh 99% of the magazine covers these days are air brushed! I love John no matter if he has yellow or white teeth, thin or thick,
Take Care
Hugs to ALL
The Tuckers in Florida
P.S> Kye is growing into a beautiful princess….
John:
Never mind what people write and complain about, you know you CANNOT please everyone even tho you try your best. So glad your girls are with you, we can tell by the tone of your blog that things are better with you.
Your Friend,
Ernie
You know John? I haven’t noticed the teeth on the pictures. Why? I don’t care!! I don’t see people teeth I see much more than that.
Dear Heidi,
Thank you so much for the update! Happy to hear the 3 of you are together again. How long do you get to stay this time?
Love,
Maribeth Kring
Big Ed’s Little Cousin
John, why don’t you go to the dentist and get your teeth bonded?.
They can do real artistry on your crooked teeth and you can have the rest bonded for the whiteness that you desire.
A friend of mine had crooked, ugly, stained teeth like you and now he looks like a million dollars.
There is NO pain, no needles.
They just paint the stuff on, put the light on them and you are done.
Cost him about $200 to have all this done.
I was born with perfectly shaped teeth and they are brillantly white so I don’t need it done but you sure do.
Go for it.
Tom
Seriously Tom. You may have “brillantly white teeth” but your manners and insensitivity are floating in a toilet somewhere.
Perhaps we should allow John to make his own decisions… Occasionally, comments that were intended to be helpful suggestions come across as insults.
Just my $.02…
Host Mach
Tom I don’t know what dentist your friend went to, But I just had a tooth bonded and the dentist had to deaden the tooth and it cost $200 for one tooth. Thank goodness one wass all I had to have done.
Everyone should be as perfect as you then dentists would go out of business……… right! Unfortunately perfect is very rare.
Carolyn
You are one ugly man for sure Tom no matter how your teeth are
John, the steak at the grill was called a minute steak. You would stand in line waiting for your chance to get one and when you got to the head of the line. The cook says We cook them to order it will take 10 minutes. That did just what it was to do I grabed a hot dog and left. So if Carnival dropped the steak because nobody wanted to wait 10 minutes for a minute steak you know the reason.
BIG Ed
So happy that the Heald’s are together again. Best wishes to you and I know there will be lots of smooth sailing in the days ahead. Heidi, I love your blogs. Hope your jet lag is gone quickly, and, that you will enjoy being together on such a beautiful ship. Kisses for Kye please.
Marie
I am a recent recruit to John’s blog thingy and I love it! I laugh until I cry and especially enjoy the updates on his family and the crew interviews. To those of you that don’t like certain parts of the blog I would like to suggest you just skip reading those parts, there isn’t a test later so it will be okay.
On the last posting the CC poll about the waiters enteraining in the dining room was mentioned. I have to say I have only been on on cruise so far (carnival imagination last May with Destiny for next may booked within 3 weeks of returning!) I was surprised how much I enjoyed this. Pre cruise I thought I would find it a little embarassing feeling they were sort of forced into this. However I did not feel that way at all. Well some were not as outgoing as others all seemed to be having fun.
Thank you John for sharing your unique perspective with me and the world.
Heidi,
Glad to hear you made the trip across the ocean. I hope you enjoy your time here in California. We will be sailing with you on Sept. 12. Hope to see you and Kye around the ship. (I have a present for Kye. Will leave it for her.) Tell John I love stories of his family and please ignor those that complain.
See you in a few days,
Wendy
Heidi, it is sooo good to hear from you. Like Bee, I am hoping that you and Kye will be on BC4. We would love to see you again, and meet Princess Kye. I’m so happy that you three are together, as we all know how much John misses his gals.
Hugs,
Duchess Sandy and Duke Dick in GA
(temporarily in CO)
John,
Thank you for fighting for the minute steak sandwhich. I loved mine with onions and mushrooms. Please have the beards bring it back!!!
Heidi,
Welcome back to the USA. We love hearing about you and Kye and John. Please don’t stop updating us. And John thanks for saving me some pain on the Carnival Dream ( I board her on 9/18!!! ) I was going to do the teeth whitening thingy…not now! I have some paste that I put on them and a guard that keeps my mouth open while I am in the tanning bed. It is slowly working so I will stick to that instead of Tooth pain!
Julie
Don’t worry about your chens, I mean chins! Chins and teeth are temporary, but a sense of humor lasts a lifetime. Looking forward to enjoying your humor and laughter as my wife enjoy our 20th next week in a GS Suite on the Splendor!
Also, very impressed with your going the extra mile with the JW situation. What a guy.
Hi John,
Thank you so much for setting up a reservation at the Chef’s Table for my Sept 18th Dream cruise. I’ve been on a few cruises with Carnival and this is the first with a balcony so I’m extra excited…..plus with all the talk of my other times on Carnival I’ve convinced my friend to go on her first! I may have created a lot of expectations for the new cruiser so the Chef’s Table will definitely be a plus. Do you have recommendations for on board activities that should not be missed so that we’d get the full experience? Thanks again for everything!
Aaron
Some people would complain if their ice cream was cold.
Don’t let the turkeys get you down. Enjoy the time with your family.
MissKitty
Bonjour John!
(Please reply)
Yes! I am FRENCH-canadian! Just started reading your blog “thingy” a month (or so) a go. You make me laugh so hard that my husband comes to the room and I have to translate everythig to him!
My question is: is the “HONOUR (SPELT CORRECTLY)” an inside joke? or is it just a debate between english and american? The way i see it, its just the same as “potato” and “potato”. It depends on where you come from?
Anyway! We will take our first cruise ever on “my Carnival Glory” january 9th, for our 25th anniversary. Will it still be Jorge the CD? I know that you will be on the Carnival Glory for BC4 in february. Is there a chance that you’ll start on the Carnival Glory earlier ( like jan. 9th)? The CD “schedule” ends in december (so is the calendar for the stekhouse reservation). When will we know?
Please, keep us laugh!
Yours,
Josée
Welcome home Kye and Heidi. We are so happy you made it there safely.
Heidi, I can not beleive how some folks out there think they can say anything they please without thinking and its OK. But John has touched so many peoples lives and we count our blessings for the times we have been able to sail with John and the quiet moments when we shared a good lanugh. We know you will look after him and remind him of good the he has done.
Mike and I are getting ready to sail the Glory out on NY and then the Bloggers cruise in Feb. Take care of each other. The Sagaras
Write whatever YOU feel like writing about, John! It’s YOUR blog! I like everything you write about – it’s all interesting! Tell those complainers to shove it.
Dear John,
Please read and reply if you would like.
I have been reading and enjoying your blog for about two years now. I was so excited to find out that you would be on the west coast! We we finally booked our cruise for the Carnival Splendor for October 10th. Our original plan was to sail on the Spirit next (haven’t sailed on her yet), but I convinced the family that we should sail on the Splendor for a second year in a row because we don’t wanna miss you. This will be our 5th Carnival cruise. I will be with my wife Heather, daughter Lili, and niece Shalyn.
We are booked in cabin 6315, Booking #: ______.
Hope to get a chance to say hi and maybe even take a few minutes to smoke a cigar. If I remember you like Montecristos right?
See ya soon!
Jeff
Morning John, Heidi and Kye
Thanks for a great blog, laying here in bed, watching a bit of morning tv and catching up on the blog, not feeling good today so just taking things easy.
The teeth white story made me cry with laughter, is exactly what happened to me and dave a few years ago, the pain i can still remember it!!
Yes bring back the steak sandwich, we often went for a late afternoon snack and always steak sandwich,we missed it when they stoped serving it on the lido.
Heidi,enjoy you time together.
take care
michelle and gang
Hello, Heidi!! How wonderful to see you on the blog again and how special that you all are together!! I’m sure that I’m not the only blogger who feels comfort in that.
John, how fast can you get the steak sandwich back on the ships? The Crazies sail in 17 days and they’re HUNGRY!!!
As for Mrs J Hovah and her complaint… what did she expect? I’m betting that she doesn’t live in a shell and actually has a TV… some people, regardless of religious conviction, just love to gripe and complain.
Please keep us up to date on how Heidi and Kye are doing on that gorgeous ship.
All the best to you and yours!
Ciao!
Host Mach
John,
Thanks so much for doing what you do and please don’t allow any of the chronic complainers to ever stop you. I am a member of Cruise Critic and I really hate it when it appears all we do is complain. Two years ago, via a Cruise Critic thread, I met the greatest group of people and we are still friends and planning a reunion cruise in 2012. If you don’t like the singing and dancing, eat somewhere else! There are other options!! It’s a FUN ship cruise. If your idea of fun is something else, book a different cruise line! Carnival was the third cruise line I tried and I haven’t been on any other since.
John, don’t ever change anything about Carnival or yourself. I can guess that 95% of your facebook and blog followers love you just the way you are and its completely obvious that Hiedi and Kye do too. Don’t let a couple of rude people get to you. I’ll bet they have flaws and not having common courtesy to people would be one of them.
Welcome back Heidi! I agree with the others that we have been looking foward to your return as much as John has. Please be safe and have a great holiday with John and Kye.
John,
Don’t worry about the JW’s! IF they wanted a “suitable” vacation that follows their beliefs, they shouldn’t have picked a cruise, they should have spent 10 days at the church without leaving it. Let it go in one ear and out the other. That group leader must have some issues that are beyond your assistance!
Hello Heidi, & Kye!!!………Oh and John too…..
I am so glad to hear that you both made the flight “Across the Pond” with out major insodent.
John has been a bit glum lately. It just proves how much he loves and misses you both.
It amazes me how some people can be so rude and nasty to John. First of all, they have probably never met him. I can say I have had that honour (spelt correctly), and can tell John doesn’t have a mean bone in his body. Why someone whould bash him for helping people and writing fondly about his family is beyond me.
One thing I don’t know if you knew about, Heidi. When John and I met in New York City for the Dream celebation Bloggers Breakfast, he could not wait to show off his pictures of Kye and you. Now that is a Real Man!!
The people who mock him for that……….Well they aren’t worthy to wash his underpants.
Enjoy the time you have together be it ever so brief.
Peace,
Jay
John- Please reply…
My family and I are taking our first cruise on the Carnival Pride October 17-24. My kids (6 and 2) are very much looking forward to it. I have found your blog to be very entertaining and helpful. I wanted to share a couple comments with you.
First, if you apologize one more time for writing about your beautiful wife and daughter and missing them, I will personally smack you on the head with a coat hanger…multiple times. This is YOUR blog, which means YOU get to write what YOU want. I would be disturbed if you weren’t missing them as you do. I find it hard to go a day without seeing my wife and kids…i’d be a complete, total mess if I had to go as long as you do without seeing Heidi and Kye. I am sooo happy that they are able to be with you on the ship now (but I’m also sad thinking that when you see this, they may already be on their way back home). So, in summary, ignore those unsympathetic fools and write whatever you want to write about, including how much you love your wife and daughter.
With that out of the way, back to our cruise. I have done alot of research (including this blog) and we are looking forward to having our kids check out camp carnival. But our youngest (2 1/2) sometimes has problems with the whole mommy and daddy leaving her with strangers thing. Also, though we would love some alone time as parents, ultimately this is about spending good, quality time together as a family. Already we have the pool and the minature golf course on our list. What other activities would you recommend that we can do together with the kids? Also, I know the camp does various activities during the day – do they do activities that allow the parents to be in there with the kids? Thinking about our son (6), would any of the punchliner shows be appropriate for him from the standpoint of the language (he really won’t get the jokes, but he will laugh if everyone else in the audience is laughing and will think it is the best thing ever!).
I think that’s about it – any other tips you can give us on can’t-miss things to do as a family would be great! Keep up the great work and DON’T CHANGE A THING (unless you want to…in which case go ahead!).
Kevin
My last Carnival Forums Currently Online Blog 9-10-10…
“Hey Guys,
Sorry I haven’t posted. It’s just….I guess…sigh. I don’t know. I’m in this kind of a funk. All day I’ve been walking around in a daze.It’s over. I keep thinking…..What happened? Where did we go wrong? How could so much change in 5 days? My heart is breaking you guys.
I thought we’d be together forever…but I guess I was wrong. I mean, sure we had some problems. Who doesn’t? We didn’t always see eye to eye on how things should be, but I thought we worked out a compromise that kept us both happy…
Then, last night, after dinner…*deep breath* omg, I don’t even know if I can get through this. ….
After dinner, I come into the cabin and I see luggage tags. LUGGAGE TAGS! With instuctions to have my bags packed by 11pm today! And instructions for leaving the ship! WHAT?! My mind raced! Hadn’t I laughed at every joke? Attended every show? Diligently smiled as I lost every bingo game and raffle? Didn’t I compliment the Chocolate Melting Cake and order enough seconds in the MDR? Sure I only spent a few hours total on Lido, but how about the props for not being a chair hog? Carnival Fascination, wasn’t I good enough for you?
OMG even now, there’s a commercial on tv….luggage tags….early morning flight…why are they doing this? I mean, we were SO great together. Room Service available 24-7. Cabin cleaned twice per day. Surprise visitors who stayed quiet, didn’t gossip, and weren’t nosey except for their habit of wearing my glasses.Gourmet dinners. Actually being encouraged to order second desserts and lots of sweets.No arguing over who would drive…sigh…I’m so sad.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, the annoying hubby and I are fine, but Carnival’s breaking up with me. Lol sorry for tricking you but my pain is real lol.”
John, Please answer. I hope you haven’t already answered this, but if you have, I haven’t seen it. Is there any chance you’ll be the cruise director on the Panama Canal cruise leaving Long Beach on Nov. 28, 2011? I just booked it and am so excited. The only thing that could make it any better is if you’re the cruise director. You’ve been our CD on 4 out of our 5 last cruises and we’re so hoping you’ll be with us on this one. Love your blog! Kye is sooooo cute. Keep posting pictures of her.
Great blog today John. There are other less painful remedies for teeth whitening. Try some OTC products from El Walmarto. It is good to see you finally posting on the Facespace thingy. You are like a one man PR department. Tell Heidi thanks for the Kye update and she is right about the “Portico” soap. It just plain stinks.
Thank for all you do.
Rob Herrin (beentravelin)
John please Reply,
I have a question for you ever since the pre-booking or Online purchasing of shore tours has become popular and avaliable on-line just like The steakhouse reservations. The spa pre-booking has remained very limited. We just booked Shore tours for are upcoming trip on the Carnival Dream. However you can only book some spa treatments, not everything. For example under Massages you can only book the stone or a couples massage not a regular swedish massage. Even the Hair Treatments are very limited. This is true for a lot of other things also they only give a very limited selection. Why is this? Can you forward this to the beards? We love to pre-book everything but allways go straight to the Spa upon Embarkation to book are treatments. Cant they upgrade this seeing they have most of the shore tours and Steakhouse reservations.
Thanks,
Big Fans As Allways,
Frank and Bridie
Hi Heald Family!
Just wanted to say that its great that Heidi/Kye got onboard safely and the family is back together.
Hope all is well John and keep up the great writing.
Thanks again!
David
So glad you both got their safely….good post!
I’m so glad Heidi and Kye made it safely to the ship. Sounds like you didn’t have any major problem.
Maybe the waiters could not sing and dance on Elegant nights? Then the stuffed shirts can act all prim and proper. Me…I like the singing and dancing.
I just don’t understand why someone with a narrow view would book a cruise. That leader must not have looked at any pictures of cruises as there is usually one picture of the showgirls.
KathyG
PLEASE REPLY
Hello John,
I put a comment in while you were on vacation and have not heard back from you so thought I would resubmit.
I have enjoyed reading your blog and especially sailing with Carnival.
I have a small request if you can help. I finally managed to get our family to take a cruise together, probably the only one for a couple of the people, and would prefer a ROUND 8 top table for our table assignment. It would be much easier to talk to everyone that way.
We are sailing on the Triumph out of New Orleans on October 23rd. Have all the booking numbers for you if you are able to help.
Thank you.
John (Please reply)
Very quick question and i’m sure one of the Stephanies can answer. I am trying to book the Steakhouse on Carnival Dream sailing 5th Mar 2011 – the web site has options only for 2008,9 & 10 is it going to be updated soon?
Regards
Will
So wish you and Kye were going to be on the ship 10/22 – my granddaughter Kye will be sailing with us! They might just be friends!
Glad the trip was a good one and both of you are enjoying time with Dad.
Have a safe trip home.
Heidi,
Glad to see you posting.
Kye is such a beautiful baby. Love when John posts her pictures so we can see how she has grown. She is definitely Daddy ‘s little girl!
Charlotte
I was wondering if anybody could help us decide. My daughter is graduating high school in May. Her and some of her friends are wanting to do a cruise out of South Carolina. They are wanting to go either in Feb or first of March. Does anybody know when the best time to go to the Bahamas is during this time? They will want to enjoy the beach. Is it cold there that time of year or is Bahamas hot all year long, so anytime is a good time to go?? Thanks, Steph
I need some of that Pot soup now! I’ve not had it on my past two cruises, but am going to make it my mission for the next cruise to have some. And that will be in just 141 days!
I do so wish that the haters would stay away and quit posting to your board. I think what you do is so amazing and kind-spirited, and I fear that one day they may drive you away from those of us who truly appreciate your nature, even if you do spell funny! Your wife and daughter are lucky to have you as a husband and dad.
-Danny
Dear John, (Please respond)
Well, I just found your blog and have enjoyed it. My family and I are booked on the Legend for Oct. 10 – 17. This is actually our 3rd attempt to cruise and hopefully it will happen this time. The first time was Katrina’s fault and the second was just this year in February. We were booked but my wife came down with pneumonia and spent a month in the hospital and a few months beyond that recovering. We nearly lost her. Her health is not good at all and hasn’t been for some time.
We got insurance too late, but we were able to get a credit which allowed us to rebook. My wife wanted to wait due to the finances of her hospital stay and then my youngest son having to have a cornea transplant, but I was not willing to risk another winter. So, although we are having to do the cheapest of the the cheap version, barring any unforeseen difficulties, we are bound for a seven day cruse of the western Caribbean in about a month. I will say that we did upgrade the cabin since we were booking so much earlier this time, our credit (which had to be used in full) allowed a nicer room.
So my question is, is there anything you could suggest for us to make this cruise particularly memorable. I know it will be anyway, but I’m talking something to make it really special for my wife. This has always been a dream vacation for her (and myself for that matter) and I have no idea if we’ll ever get to do it again. I’d love for it to be really special.
My wife is 45 and I’m 47, boys are 18 and 19 (hopefully they will both get to come). She has some mobility issues, but not wheelchair bound yet, though we will have one with us for those long trips around the ships and off when possible. So anything that fits with that would be great.
Mike
John:
I have been employed by the professional association for dentists for the last 6 years. An experience like yours with cosmetic dentistry makes me wonder why cruise ship spas promote and offer these types of services. I’m not sure why any sane person would allow a non-dentist to perform a bleaching procedure – especially while on vacation – but apparently they do. Spas should stick with facials, up-dos, massages and pedicures and leave the dentistry to the professionals.
I am very sorry to hear that your gift was so painful. But then it was not nearly as painful the nose hair trimmer my sister received as a Christmas gift.
Welcome Heidi. I am happy you made it safe and sound with Kye. But what matters is that John is happy now, and a happy John is a happy cruise for all aboard.
One statement, why must people pick on individuals about their hair, eyebrows, noses, fat or thin, tall or short, etc. People should look at themselves beffore they decide on attacking others. John to me, you are perfect just like me, and my wife, and Bee & Charlie, and Linda & MIke and Big Ed, and everybody. Forget about the negative people in the world. Thing only of those around you that enjoy what your humour and how you love your family. It’s how we as human beings show love to one another.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Hi John, just wanted to comment on your issue with the Jehovah’s Witness group, my husband comes from a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses and their one redeeming social quality is they drink alot and like to party. They also don’t believe people will ‘go to hell’, so I think the leader of your group was confused, or mad at you or needs to get in touch with her own religion. We are also really looking forward to sailing with you on Oct 24 with a group of 30 friends. This will be my and my husband’s Platinum cruise and our 3rd large group cruise we’ve organized. We were so excited to hear you would be our CD and are so looking forward to meeting you!!
Heidi, welcome home!!! It’s great to see you guys all together again. John is so much happier when he has his girls with him. It will be easier next year when Carnival will be in Europe!
Thank you for the blog and we expect more stories and pictures during your trip.
John don’t worry about your ‘teeth’ we love you for being you and not what you look like. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder!
Enjoy the girls and keep the blogs coming.
Eva
BRING ON THE STEAK SANDWICHES!!!
Great to hear from Heidi too.
John, I hope you enjoy this time with your family. Take care and God Bless!
Your friend in Texas,
Larry Meador
Seriously John stop letting the haters make you apologize for writing what u want.You will see from the responses u get that we are interested in ALL aspects of your life.Thanks for your update Heidi.
Hi John,
I have a quick question..Can u please explain to me the new changes to The Captains Cocktail Party, The Past Guest Party and the new Farewelll Party?? I keep getting conflicting information..
Thanks
Julia
John (Please Reply),
Love reading your blog. I have a question regarding the Carnival Fantasy. Is there any plans to add balconies to this ship the way they did on the Fascination? I know she is headed to dry dock later this year and I was just curious. We are booked to go on her January 1st, 2011 with my son and daughter-in-law. They are first time cruisers and we hope they will get hooked on cruising like we are. We love there is a ship out of Charleston since we are only 4 hours away. We have been out of Miami also, but this is more convenient. We would really love a balcony the next time we cruise so that is why I wondered. Can’t really afford the suites. Our first cruise was the Fascination so I hope we will like the Fantasy as much as we did that ship. Also hope the “kids” enjoy it also.
John,
(please reply)
We are boarding the beautiful Carnival Liberty on October 2, 2010. My daughter, Rebecca, who is now 13, has a yen for show business. She’s just learned that her current production will be closing on September 30, so the cruise will be bittersweet for her. (bitter because she’ll be sad about her show – which was supposed to run for another 3 months, sweet because – well, duh!)
Is there any way possible she might be able to tour the stage area or meet with some of the dancers/entertainers? She’s always been facinated by their ability to dance and sing in those incredible shoes while the ship does it’s dance in the waves and has wondered how they put it all together. If I were able to surprise her in this way, it might make things a little less ‘bitter’ and a lot more ‘sweet’.
thanks for your reply!
I was wondering when you list the number of passengers onboard and the past cruisers, could you also list the number of platinum cruisers? I would love to know the numbers..