This morning my journey by elevator from deck 3 to deck 9 (yes I am lazy sod for not taking the stairs) was memorable for two reasons. First of all because it is the first ever time I have been asked to have my photo taken in an elevator and second of all because the man who put his arm round me and told me he loved the shows was I think French.
I deduced this not because he said “Oh la la, I love la shows” or because he tried to touch my bottom or because he ran out of the showroom screaming I surrender when we shot off some pyrotechnics. Nope, I thought he was French because he and the cabin shower had not been introduced.
OK, he wasn’t French and I know I am supposed to be polite all the time and certainly I didn’t look at him as his equally smelly mate took the photo and tell him he stank…..but here…….on the blog thingy………..I can………….because he truly did.
Bodily hygiene has always been a thing with me. I don’t much go in for personal grooming, posh and trendy haircuts and fashionable clothes. But not making people retch when they get close to me ……..well that is important. I am a big chap and when I sweat it doesn’t smell of Old Spice. I have always been conscious of my bodily hygiene ever since I can remember and that’s thanks to my Deputy Headmaster (High School Principal) Mr. Hounsell.
He was quite the character and when he would give you a bollocking he would say “I will not repeat myself…..I will not repeat myself.” The irony of the fact that he had just repeated himself was lost on him and none of us lads would dare bring this up as he was armed with a bamboo cane that had a rather nasty rubber tip on it. My bottom and his cane were great friends.
Anyway, one day Mr. Hounsell was taking an assembly (not sure what my American/Canadian friends call that) where all that grade (year) are together in the school hall. He went on stage and explained that since we were going through puberty, our bodies were changing, and we were all sweating more than we used to. Then he reminded us we were in the middle of a heat wave (there was no air conditioning, of course ) and that some pupils didn’t seem to be using enough soap or deodorant – and that without wanting to name names, a few of us stank like a skunk in a sewer.
OK, he didn’t say ” like a skunk in a sewer” but he did say “make sure you all wash and shower ……..I will not repeat myself…………I will not repeat myself.”
Anyway, back to school assembly. Naturally, I was convinced Mr. Hounsell was talking about me – smelly, stinky me. For weeks afterward, I sprayed on so much deodorant each morning, my armpits had lumps of subzero hardened goo under them.
But then one day, inexplicably, I forgot. I was halfway through an algebra class when I remembered that I hadn’t sprayed that morning. The realization made me panic. The panic made me sweat.
Did I smell? I had to know. Taking pains to make my movements appear entirely casual, I surreptitiously slid two fingers into my right armpit, wiggled them around, nonchalantly brought them back to my nose and sniffed hard.
I almost gagged……I smelt like Dwyane Wade and LeBron James’s jockstraps after they had been dipped in a bucket of liquefied yak poo.
In desperation, I pulled a tube of mints from my pocket, popped two out and wedged one into each armpit. I reckoned they’d make the sweat smell slightly “minty” – or perhaps even menthol. All I had to do was walk around with my arms clamped to my sides for the rest of the day (so the mints didn’t drop out), and I’d be fine.
It didn’t work. Clamping my arms down made me sweat even more. Worse still, the mints melted and became fused to my underarm hairs.
I pulled the mints out, eyes watering. They slipped through my fingers and shattered against the floor. Everyone stared, my perspiration levels rose again, and I wanted to die right there and then in the middle of algebra class.
I sat there, burning with shame, and smelling like the people I met in the elevator this morning. It reminded me that I had vowed never to repeat the tale to anybody, especially via the pages of a blog read by thousands of people.
Mind you, I also vowed that one day I’d have rumpy pumpy with Marsha from the Brady Bunch ………….. and that turned out to be bollocks as well.
Time for today’s questions….let’s crack on.
Gary Balanoff Asked:
Hi, John,We would like to donate school supplies to the kids in Cozumel when we visit on the Legend at the end of September for our anniversary. We are always impressed by how wonderful the people are, but how much they need, and would like to at least help in some small way. My wife, the better half of “Cruisin Lovebirds” will be contacting Wee Jimmy, but anything you might suggest to help us set up a collection of supplies that we could donate along with a couple of crew members (no, we won’t be donating crew members, just having them help carry the supplies!) would be a great way to show our appreciation to the folks in Cozumel. Thanks for any and all support and keep up the great work. This will be Carnival cruise #11.
John Says:
Gary BalanoffYou are so kind to think about doing this and I will help you in any way I can. The children of Cozumel will be thrilled and I know the orphanage there through the work we have done for them before so we have a connection should you decide to do something. What I will need is a list of what it is you will wish to disembark so that I can have the ship clear if through Mexican customs who can be somewhat……..ummmm……..difficult let’s say. Please let me know when this is going to happen by sending me another post which if time sensitive should be marked as such at the header. Thank you for thinking of the kids and thank you for your loyalty to Carnival. I will help you anyway I can.
Best wishes to you both
JohnKathiNJ Asked:
Please reply, our family of 15 is sailing 10/31/10 on the Pride. Will there be Halloween activities for the kiddies that day? We have 5 kids sailing with us as we celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary during this cruise. We are in cabin 4203.Thanks
John Says:
Hello KathiNJIn case you missed in on last Thursday’s blog which was called For Your Eyes Only I posted the Halloween list which showed that yes indeed there will be Halloween events including trick or treating for the kids. I am sure you are going to have a wonderful time together and may I wish you a very happy anniversary and another 50 happy years together.
Best wishes
JohnViolet Martin Asked:
John Please Reply:I’ve been reading your blog thingy since we got off the beautiful Dream ship in January. You are quite entertaining! My husband and I are going on our 6th Carnival cruise September 28th on Miracle stateroom 5187. It is a smaller ship than what we are use to but it is sailing out of our home state of NY! I wrote to you a few months back and you mentioned I should send you a notice a month before we sail. We will be celebrating our anniversary; anything you could do to make this sailing extra special would be greatly appreciated!
John Says:
Dear Violet:Thanks for writing again. I have a feeling that you will love the Carnival Miracle as much as you loved your Carnival Dream…maybe more. The Spirit class ships are for many their favourites. I will gladly send you a little something and wish you a brilliant cruise and a very happy anniversary.
Best wishes
JohnChad A. Christiansen Asked:
Dear John,I really enjoy your blog first of all, I work in the service industry and your blog makes me laugh with most of the experiences you talk about! Anyways I promise I’m not here to ask you for a favor like most, begging for a better table lol…
My girlfriend of 4 years and I are on the splendor Oct 31st, and I plan on asking for her hand in marriage on the cruise! My questions to you are, 1. Will you be working on the splendor then? Just so I could say I actually was on your boat ha , and My 2nd question is since we bought a budget room only 2269, can I still buy her a Cloud 9 spa treatment ? I figure once I ask her on the boat the first night then maybe mud bath or massage the next day at sea
Thanks for the fun reading John, and hope to meet u or see you on the boat! P.s. I promise not to yell your name across any room like I know you or ask you to dance either ha ha ha
John Says:
Hello Chad. A ChristiansenYes sir, I will be the CD when you sail and how brilliant that you intend to propose. The spa is open to everyone and may I suggest that for $70 you can give her a special day. That’s $40 for a day pass to the wellness rooms and Thalassotherapy pool and then $30 for a night at the Steakhouse (plus $30 for you) but I promise that this would be a special day………leading up to the big question. If you need my help with the proposal itself and want to do it more in a more public manner…..then just leave me a note when you get onboard at the guest services desk and I will do what I can to help. I look forward to seeing you soon then and if you have any more questions please let me know. Enjoy your last ever cruise…….as a single man and remember the word engaged has the word “gag” in the middle of it.
Best wishes
JohnLauna D Asked:
I wrote to back in July to ask for help with a table for my husband who you may remember lost his right leg in Afghanistan while serving with the US Army and that he was getting used to life on crutches and in a wheelchair. I had asked for a table for two with room for the chair which you arranged. This made our cruise along with the gifts you sent. The crew of the Liberty was outstanding and so friendly and our Cabin Stewart Merilynn was so wonderful so please thank her and tell her bosses how great she was.
Thank you John for being you and to those jerks on that cruise site who keep telling you to stop I say tell that to my husband’s face.
We are now looking at a cruise on the Freedom for February
Loretta and KyleJohn Says:
Hello Launa and KyleThe only people who should be saying thank you are me and those bloggers who may wish to join me in saying thanks to your husband for his sacrifice and his service. I am often glad to have been able to help people but very rarely have I been so honoured to have done so as I am now. I hope you had a brilliant time and I will of course make sure Merilynn and her supervisors get to see your words of praise. Please let me know when you are ready to sail again and I will be here to help.
Best wishes to you both from us all.
JohnKitty Kat Asked:
John – replyI read your blog today were you spoke about smuggling booze onto the ships and that you said Carnival was cracking down. I am here to tell you that your security sucks because I just got off a Fascination cruise and smuggled by two liters of vodka on and more Cruise Critic friends are doing the same. See this then http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=963569
You won’t beat us and Carnival’s bar prices were lower we wouldn’t do it would we.
CARNIVAL SMUGGLERS UNITE!John Says:
Hello Kitty KatI am not sure what I can say to this post except to say that …….actually you know what……….this time……..I can’t be sodding bothered. Congratulations on a successful smuggling operation. You da man…….or should I say………you da Kitty Kat. I will though send this link to our head of security in Miami so he can read about how others are trying to smuggle liquor on board ……. I am sure your other Cruise Critic mates will be very grateful. I hope you had a wonderful cruise.
Best wishes
JohnJohn Asked:
PLEASE REPLY!I am sorry to hear this week’s cruise was a little more difficult. I was on the cruise this week and our family had an amazing time (as always). This was our 4th Carnival cruise and we all (wife and 3 kids) raved about cruising so much that my sister and her husband finally broke down after lots of begging from their kids and their family joined us for the cruise. My brother-in-law and 3 of his kids have celiac and thus can’t eat glutton. Angela in the Black Pearl restaurant was AWESOME and really provided them with some great service and meal selections. Their one complaint was late night options as my nephew would be “starving” late and have to sit and watch my kids scarf down pizza and calzones. A glutton free pizza option could be amazing for the growing group of glutton-free people.
Anyway, I have read your blog for a while and was thrilled to have you as a CD. My wife and kids already think I am a fanatic to read your blog and other cruise websites, so I didn’t mention my excitement at finally getting to have you as a CD. Let me tell you….THEY ALL LOVED YOU!!! Everyone agreed you were our favorite CD ever (Jorge was CD on our first cruise 4 years ago and no one had ever come close to him before). My wife even commented after the comedian shows that none of the comedians were even close to being as funny as you were!
I was hoping to run into you on the ship so that I could tell you in person how wonderful the cruise was and how much our entire extended family loved being entertained by you, but, alas I never did see you.
My wife loved the picture of your daughter that you showed during one of the morning shows.
Sorry for being so longwinded….Here are my requests:
1) Please don’t let the few complainers ruin your day. Some people just can’t be pleased.
2) Get Heidi and Kye on the boat with you soon so that you don’t burn out and quit (future cruisers need you!)
3) Get Carnival to find comedians that are funnier than you (not sure this is possible…)
4) Pass on the request to the beards about a glutton-free dough option for the Pizza.
Thanks for a great vacation!
John Says:
Hello JohnThanks so much for those kind words. Do you know, I have just realized that while we have many options for those with dietary needs for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you are right when you say that the 24 hour pizzeria has nothing that is gluten free. Let me look into this straight away and see what can be done. I have to admit also that some of the comedians who performed that week you sailed were not as good as we had hoped. The Punchliner was in its infancy and the talent agent we use in California sent us some entertainers that did not meet my expectations or yours so they will not be returning. Since then we have improved for sure and I can safely say now that the Punchliner is a great success. I am sorry that it was not totally so the week of your cruise. I will get back to you about the gluten free late night options and thank you again for your kindness. I hope it is not too long before we see you and the family again on one of our fun for all ships.
Best wishes to all
JohnBruce Asked:
Reply John if you wish.Hmmmm well I can’t play the video and it is 8pm and I’ve got the popcorn out just waiting for that magical thingy to happen. Hmmmm still waiting maybe I’ve done something off today.
Not. I booked another cruise today out of Tampa and the Legend. Me and the wife are so hooked. We already had a Dec cruise booked on the Splendor in Dec. (sorry that we will miss you on that cruise) Anyway my question is I’m trying to find out more on this chef table thing and I can’t seem to find it here. Does the Legend do this? Oh and one more thing can you PLEASE make Carnival spend more time on their cruises in Roatan. That is why I went with this ship and cruise. Maybe not this time but in the future for their future planning. (But if it happens to break down there, now just saying but I’ll know who to thank)
Thanks Bruce the flyer
John Says:
Hello BruceDid you get the videos to work? I am afraid I am no help here as I have the technical understanding of such things in the same way French people understand that not everything has to be cooked in sodding garlic…….plus I don’t have a beard. Let us know if you can’t play them and maybe one of the 343 Stephanies can assist you. The Carnival Legend will have The Chef’s Table by the time you cruise. It is a fantastic experience and I promise if you go it will be one of the highlights of your cruise. If you decide you want to, please let me know here on the blog thingy and I will make a reservation for you. Roatan is a very popular port and certainly our new facility at Mahogany Bay has made it even more so. Obviously our time in each port is subject to many things including making sure we leave enough time to get to the next port of call but I have heard this request from many so obviously it should be something we should look at. So Bruce, let me know about The Chef’s Table and if there is anything else you need.
Best wishes
JohnKat Wright Asked:
Hi John (Would love a reply!)I am writing to tell you how much i enjoy your blog thingy! I love your sense of humour and ability to look at the lighter side of life.
A day on a cruise beats a day at work anytime so if people want to worry about deck chairs, coat hangers and noisy children that fine by me, I will be at the bar!
My husband and I were on the Splendor May 16th (my 27th birthday present to myself!) and it was the most fantastic time of my life.
The staff was wonderful and many individuals went above and beyond to ensure we will be back! Stephanie (Assistant C.D), Amy (ship nurse) and Junior (head waiter) being just a few.
Also, Hi to Michael an awesome Splendor dancer and fellow Aussie who we met on a horse riding excursion in Mazatlan.
Unfortunately airfares from Aus are a killer so it will be a little while before I see the Splendor again but we will get there, in the meantime I will just have to live vicariously through your blog!
Thank you!
KatJohn Says:
Hello Kat WrightThanks so much for saying how much you love the blog thingy down under in Australia. I am sorry I missed you when you sailed on the Carnival Splendor but am very glad that you had so much fun. I realize that you have a long way to come from Australia to experience a Carnival fun for all cruise but hopefully one day you will see the famous Carnival smokestack entering Sydney harbour…..wouldn’t that be something special. I will make sure all those you mentioned get to see your comments and hope that one day I can say “g’dday” to you in person.
Best wishes
JohnTom G Asked:
John, (reply)Here is my report on my Conquest cruise. This was our second cruise having taken RC first on a cruise of Alaska. This prompted a number of comparisons most of which were not favorable to Carnival. To be fair, we thought the cruise was good – just not great. It could also be that we’re just not Carnival-type people. We like to dress for dinner and we were it seems the only ones. One of the best things Carnival has going for them is their mostly excellent staff. We found them to be friendly, courteous, enthusiastic and helpful at all times. Our room steward, Marianne was excellent and we couldn’t have asked for better service. Our only minor quibble was that the people at customer service seemed clueless about some questions we asked and indeed gave us some incorrect information. We’ll probably be looking at a different cruise line for next time but Carnival is probably not a bad choice for people who like loud, obnoxious and brash Texans and mediocre food.
Still enjoy your blog though
TomJohn Says:
Hello Tom GI am glad you enjoyed the blog but am bitterly disappointed that you did not enjoy some aspects of your cruise. I will pass on the information about the guest services desk as it seems we had an issue there for sure if they are passing on the wrong information. But I was happy to hear that you enjoyed the service of Marianne and I will make sure she gets to read this. I must say that the service levels of our crew is something we are so very proud of and thanks for taking the time to write that. I must also mention that when I was on the Carnival Conquest I had loads of fun with the Texans and they made for some of the best audiences I have ever had. I hope you will reconsider cruising with someone else and if there is anything I can do to make that happen then please let me know.
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today and thanks so much for allowing me a blog free day last Friday.
It’s not long now until the world’s most photographed lady names the most eagerly anticipated vessel for many many years. Not only will the ship bear the name of her godmother but will also have a permanent memory of her onboard as well. Here’s why.
Fifty plus journalists attended the unveiling of the portrait which is I think quite remarkable and if fifty came to this event………..well imagine the coverage the naming ceremony itself will attract. I am sure that our man in London Peter Shanks will have some amazing stories to tell.
Well let’s have a look back at last week which started with a lady who had vomit on her balcony and wanted us to DNA test everyone to see who had done it. Mostly though it was a good week and certainly weather wise it was nearly perfect. The last sea day was cold and surprisingly the sea was a little rougher than usual so the ship did move more than usual. One thing I didn’t have time to report on was the visit to the ship in Mazatlan of some orphans from the local children’s home. We gave them lunch, prizes and some fun on Lido deck and I think they had the most wonderful of times. Here is a photo we took in the lobby.
As I held Kye and took that photo I couldn’t help but think that the kids I was having the photo with would never know the love that Kye has from her Mum and Dad. I was talking to one of the nuns who told me through a translator that Mexico has a huge amount of orphans and the chances of the children in the picture of being adopted were very, very slim. And that of course is sad, so very sad. You wonder what life has in store for them when they have to leave the orphanage. Anyway, it felt good to give them a day of fun and my thanks to the crew for looking after them and giving their time off to look after them. They enjoyed the slide most I think ……… even the nuns………although they only tried it once because they didn’t want to get into the habit.
But the day was ruined for me personally because I had to speak to someone who honestly ………. must have ice running through her varicose veins.
Guest: Mrs. ———-Ref: 842021164A
Cabin: ——— Added-Changed: 09/16/10 – 09/16/10Cabin.——- COMPLAINT ABOUT SLIDE AND LIDO
Guest came to Lido and came to the front of the desk refusing to wait. She said that her children were having to wait to use the slide because there were lots of children from ashore not guests standing in line. GSA explained that these were from the children’s orphanage in Mazatlan. Guest said they should not be here and that they had paid to cruise and should not have to wait.Tasked to CD
I spoke to the guest and told her that these children had very little and that…….hold on………you know in this case there is absolutely no point in me wasting your time here because it doesn’t matter what I said because it ended with her still being mad and still stating that she didn’t care about these kids……..her kids had to wait extra time to use the slide and that in her opinion was wrong. The end.
I can honestly say that I let this lady get right under my skin and I walked away having apologized. What I really wanted to do was to poke her in the eye and tell her what I thought of her. I can understand that she paid for the cruise and that her kids should have priority on the slide. But they were using it for 40 minutes……..that’s it and we certainly didn’t stop her children from using it during that time……..they just had to wait a little longer…….that’s all. Oh well …… as I said….overall it was a great week and the guests had the most wonderful time. However …… and I know that like my former teacher Mr. Hounsell I am repeating myself here …….. but bloody hell….sailing out of California provides me with a wealth of blog and Facebook stories. I love it.
I wanted to tell you about a new trial we are doing here on the Carnival Splendor and on your Carnival Dream. It has to do with the slot machines and players who reach 1,500 points because when they do……..they get complimentary drinks. Here is the official advertisement for this.
Now I can tell you that this has been very popular this week and lots of free drink cards have been handed out. And if it continues to prove to be successful, you will see this on your next cruise across the fleet.
Right, let’s see who is sailing with us this voyage SL7091910.
GUESTS 3347
NON US 304 – 41 from Australia, 37 from Mexico
PAST GUESTS – 1202
| Under 2 Years | 33 |
| 2-5 Years (Camp Carnival) | 82 |
| 6-8 Years (Camp Carnival) | 55 |
| 9-11 Years (Camp Carnival) | 51 |
| 12-14 Years (Circle “C”) | 43 |
| 15-17 Years (Club 02) | 43 |
| 18-20 Years | 48 |
What I haven’t told you so far is that this is going to be an interesting cruise for me because we have 145 people sailing as a group. They are very lovely people and we are happy indeed that they are cruising with Carnival. But on a personal note I already know that I am going to be a wanted man. That’s because the 145 are here for seminars and workshops and all work for a company that causes fat people like me to break out in hives and board up our cabins as though we were being attacked by zombies…..because ladies and gentlemen bloggers…….they all work …….for Herbal Life. These are wonderful people and they all have a great time when they sail …… but I am a moving 280 pound target. Oh joy.
And finally I should explain the title of today’s blog thingy. As you know the bedtime story is one of my signature events and even though I have tried not to perform it and do something different it seems that people still want to see it. Yes I know the three characters are pretty much the same every week and yes like any show there are parts that are the same………because they work. However, the show is different every week. This past cruise I met a lady from Nassau, Bahamas who played the part of Mary…………here’s what happened next.
Now some of you may have seen me in that situation before but I assure you that this was something new. She didn’t just sit on me……she launched herself onto me with such force that it winded me……knocking all the breath out of me. I tried to say something funny as soon as I stood up but I couldn’t get the words out and when I finally did manage to say something I sounded like an asthmatic hamster.
The next morning I woke with a really bad pain in my groin and there is no doubt that this pain that I am still feeling now was due to me being used as a trampoline by half of Nassau. So Mr. Cahill ……if you are reading this…….please take pity on a broken 45 year old CD who puts his life on the line every week and who needs some danger money, body armor…….. and a Latvian lady to take care of my groin strain.
I really am getting to old for this.
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
PLEASE REPLY
Johnny, I haven’t heard you talk about why Todd was taken off the the Dream and Butch put on.
Oh John! Hope you are feeling better !
John, you definitely took one for the team on that one. I can’t believe she didn’t even offer to help you up after the lap dance she gave you. She was to busy picking up her own britches I suppose.
I shed tears due to laughter on your story about the body odor. Thanks for what you do on a daily basis. Carnival Cruise Lines is definitely blessed to have you on staff.
Joseph
John please reply…
My husband (Jason) , myself (Kristin) and our twin girls (Gabriella & Savannah – age 6) will be sailing on Carnival Splendor to the Mexican Riviera the week of October 3rd. October 4th is our 13 wedding anniversary. This will also be our first big family vacation. If there is anything you could do to help make this day special, please pass the word along. We would really appreciate it. We are in room 9230 and our inlaws are also coming with us, staying in a different room.
It will be our very first cruise and we are so excited…heck we never even had a honeymoon. I am actually still amazed we are getting to go as we have not been unscathed by these economic times. Our inlaws went on their first cruise last year for their 50th wedding anniversary (the celebrity mercury to Alaska). They cherish a special picture that was taken for them and provided as well a champagne toast and annivesary cake.
We called to ask if anything is done to recognize when a couple is celebrating an anniversary on Carnival and the person we spoke to said they do not do anything, despite our request.
It is true our time there as a family will be the best celebration, however any acknowledgement would be a great bonus
I also wanted to mention I am a fan of cruise critic (crAZytwinmomma) and that is how I found out about your blog. I know a lot of people have had bad experiences on that message board. There are some Arizona cruisers who really share their love of cruising on those boards. I just ignore the completely negative posts and have found a lot of helpful information and insight on the boards. I think a lot of people on there go out of their way to positively impact others’ experiences.
Thank you for your candor and consideration on your blog. I have been enjoying your humor and honesty and hope you continue your blog.
Sincerely,
Kristin Kveton
John,
We Texans may be loud and obnoxious, but I’d be willing to bet the bank, we wouldn’t complain about our kids having to wait in lines at the water slide!
I’d also be willing to say that woman’s poor kid(s) are total BRATS.
These parents are the reason I say no kids in the steakhouse, because when they kids act out, mom/dad will say nothing, and ruin everyone else’s meal with little brats..
Ok, girl – get off your soap box.
MissKitty
John….I so love your blog thingy, but am feeling very very badly for “Mary”. People of a certain size are typically very easily embarassed, and I HOPE you apologized to her for your carrying on. It made me sad.
John,
I cannot believe the nerve of some people to brag about smuggling booze on the ship and complain about your prices. Honestly, whatever you do get paid for this job, it isn’t enough! On the flip side, though, happy to hear about the free drinks in the casino. If you lose it on the slots, you get it back on the booze!! Woo hoo!
Dear John,
It may be time to retire the BEDTIME STORY before it retires you. TOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!
You should at least get hazardous duty pay for having the Bahama Mama Mary ride you like a bronco. EhHa!
The Cruzin2some
Gary Balanoff:
Would you please email me at
musicalcruiser@hotmail.com
and put Cozumel orphans in the subject line.
We have been working with two folks for years and I think they may be able to assist with “customs”…
Linda (Mom of DJ)
Twit… another member of the Bite Me club. I was SO incensed when I read what that miserable woman complained about. These kids have pretty much nothing and being able to come on board the Splendor to enjoy a day comparable to what we cruisers enjoy day in and day out must be like Christmas, Easter and a birthday combined.
My God, doesn’t this horrid person have a soul?
Have no fear… when she leaves this life I’m sure she’ll end up with an appropriate place in the next. I hope she brings a fan.
Please, John, continue to do what you can for those kids. I remember so well when Capt. Scala, the crew and staff of the Ecstasy adopted an orphanage on Cozumel. Let the tradition continue for him.
All the best to the girls.
Ciao!!!!
Host Mach
Hi John,
We haven’t talked in so long.
George & I will be on the Imagination again in January. We
had such a good time last year we decided to go again. This time we are going with some of our friends.
Give our best to Heidi and a kiss to little Klye..
That last bedtime story had to be the best. And I have seen
many…..
Poor, poor John! I was in the second row that night of your “Bahama Mamma” and didn’t know whether to come to your rescue or what. So I stood, sat and laughed ’til I cried instead. What the video doesn’t do justice to is the shock, laughter, tears and cheers from the audience. That was a full two minute plus showstopper!
I feel sorry for the children of that lady who complained about those orphans. I would have taken my kids out there with the orphans and talked to them, laughrd with them and done my best to make sure they had a day they would never forget. Shame on her. Thank you once again John for doing that for those kids
John, is there an English word for “dammit”? Is it “bullocks”? I neither know or care, so dammit. That you had to deal with that woman whose children had to wait to use the slides with the children from the orphanage sent me over the edge!
When speaking with her, you should have called her an emission release orafice, because that is what she truly is.
Look at that picture. It is true that the vast majority of those children will not be adopted. Adoptive parents generally want infants. Toddlers and young children much less so. God forbid, given their circumstances they may have problems.
As I type this, my young son is behind me uncontentedly finishing up his homework. He is from an orphanage. He was a toddler, the age of some of the kids in your picture, when we became a family. My little guy never had a chance. All I asked when I was adopting was to be able to give a home to a child who was not likely to be placed otherwise.
You know the end of this story. I am the happiest father in the world. My son has a home and an extended family who fail to realize that he is beautifully brown and we are pasty pink. He is a happy and successful young man.
I so wish his future on every one of those children in your picture. My heart and my prayers are with them.
If that female dog with heat stroke had a problem with her priviledged children waiting in line for some kids that were having the time of their lives, align her with a small hole and twist.
I wish you hadn’t apologized.
And thanks for sharing that story. Maybe it will make some of us think.
John:
To bad “Mary” wasn’t on this cruise, she could have deflected the Herbal people from you!!
Your bedtime story never gets old because you have no control over what people are going to do…therefore it is always new.
There are no words to express the depth of stupidity of the woman who complained about the orphans. And sadly I see that yet another Cruise Critic moron has made the mistake of attempting to “be somebody”.
Both individuals are sad examples of human beings….
On the UP side, Carnival has yet another FABULOUS karaoke host that is all the rave on Facebook and Cruise Critic….. Kim A. We cruised together on the Valor and had such a great time. He truly loves what he is doing!!! And EVERYONE loves him!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Oh John, each day you have a blog I find myself reading through tears of either joy or sorrow. Today it was both. You may need a VERY EXPENSIVE spa treatment after that lady. Would that be considered workers comp? Hope you are not as sore tomorrow as I am sure you are today.
And as for the woman that ‘paid for her children to slide down the slide’ may seagulls come and spread their lunch all over her. if she is teaching her children to be as self-centered as she is – we all need to say a little prayer.
John Please Respond:
Hello John, I am booked on the Blogger’s Cruise and can’t wait to sail with you again. Last time was on the Triumph back in 2004. So, it’s been a while.
Having done 13 cruises, I now cruise for the cruising experience rather than the ports. My favorite place on the ship is in the Piano Bar. Now to my request (I’m sure you knew that it was coming LOL). I’m hoping that you could pull a few strings and try to get Ron Pass on board for the Blogger’s Cruise. He is by far Carnival’s best, and it would greatly improve the BC4. Last year, I booked the Dream sailing, and we did manage to snag Ron for a 1 week gig. Hopefully, you will be able to convince them to bring Ron on-board for this week. Thanks so much !!! Joanne
OK, I have a complaint too. Bloody hell, John – what were you thinking? You let those orphanage kids on the slide and DIDN’T stop the paying passengers from going on it too? The orphanage kids had only a few minutes to enjoy the slide. The least you could have done was shut it down from those spoiled “paying” passengers and let the orphanage kids have it all to themselves for at least a little while!
Next time, I expect to hear that you did better!
Im new to the blog…why does my comment say ..waiting for moderation?
This is to let you know that your post has been received and that it will be posted shortly…..
Linda (Mom of DJ)
Unless you put “John Please Reply” then you wont see it for 3 weeks or so while it waits for John to answer in his Q&A.
I did start it off with John please reply..i think i posted it on the 13th of september
John, you can’t stop doing the Bedtime Story because we all love it no matter how many times we’ve seen it. So may I suggest that when walking around the audience looking for the right Mary you start passing up the BIG women and start picking much smaller Mary’s.
BIG Ed
PS; but if you do want to end your career I will play Martin instead of a Mary and put you down for good, LOL.
John- think the complimentary drinks in the casino are great!
Hello there! I am a first time cruiser…I am going on my first cruise for my 50th birthday in February. Unfortunanetly I find that I am not going to be on a ship with you! I will be on the Legend. I just want you to know that I really enjoy your blog!
Oh my God John. I’m shocked but still laughing about that video. Just watching the Bahama Mama bouncing on you I wondered if you would ever be able to get again. You must have lost your breathe but I have to say it was so darn funny. Sorry for laughing my friend. I should be supportive of you but d*** was it funny. I still can’t stop laughing. Does Mr. Cahill realize what you really do on the ship? I”m sorry John, I can’t stop laughing. I guess better leave. Sorry again.
Paul F. PIetrangelo
Dear John, I can not agree with you more when it comes to BO. I had a friend the always smelled. I know she showered but other than that, not sure if she used deodorant or perhaps she had a “problem”. Whatever it was, she really smelled and I honestly could not stand being around her.
The very stupid lady compiling about her daughter having to wait, heaven forbid, for the slide. I would have taken that stupid woman and shoved her down the slide. You really can not fix stupid. She paid for her cruise, big deal. Everyone on that ship paid for their cruise, DUH. She would not have been there if she had not. If she is home schooling her daughter then I would think she could use some social skills to pass on to her daughter.
The couple that cruised Carnival for the first time, of my. Why did they care who dressed up and who did not. If they choose to dress up, fine but they do not get to complain if it is not formal night. Carnival has a dress code and if the pax adhere to the dress code then they are OK. I can not stand people like that. There was a couple like that on our last cruise, I truly wanted to throw them overboard, sorry I did not.
Keep smiling John; you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
Peg Dunbar
Just was on the sept 12th sailing on the splendor and cannot tell you how enjoyable it was having your humor as a cruise director. We took a pic with you after the “behind the scenes” q&a in the spectacular showroom. Our 21 month old daughter tesa was in awe with your voice and when we were in our cabin and scanning the channels on the tv she would just sit there and listen. We hope on our next cruise we are able to have you there as well. Also thank u for making us laugh with dick and anita little. Please post that up on youtube. Have a great day and happy 24th i believe it is for you with carnival. Your daughter Kye is adorable and happy times wished for her.
Your fellow cruise mates
cabin 7343
John!! (Please Reply)
We will be useing the last of our Carnival Vacation Club points on the Oct 24th Cruise on the Legend. This will also be our first real Platinum Cruise. We have confirmed First Seating. Would you ask Ken if he could seat us at a table with other cruisers, As we have had booths the last few cruises and they are tight for me. Also if the wonderful Katerina followed Ken from the Dream could we have her as our headwaiter?? Our room No is 7280. We certainly have enjoyed our Cruises especially when you were the CD. BC3 on the Dream was truly a cruise of a Lifetime. Many Thanks MIke & Linda Rhone
Hi John.
I can’t help writing to say how disgusted I am with the b***h that complained about the extra kids being on the ship. I am impressed that Carnival allows such things to take place. We are so completely blessed to be cruising, and these children don’t even have parents! If she was talking to me like that, she would have heard every word you were thinking!
Can you imagine what selfish little brats she must be raising?
Janet, Perhaps if this directly affected you, your opinion may be a little subdued. A paying passenger should not be inconvenienced by a non paying passenger period, without their approval first. What if your dinner table and cabin were temporarily taken over at the exact time you intended you use them, without your approval first? Would you feel the same then, if the inconvenience affected you? I doubt it.
Really? We are talking about ORPHANS here! Where has our compassion gone? They can have my spot on any water slide or dining table at any time!
Josea,
I have to agree with everyone else that this woman was being inconsiderate. Your examples do not fit the circumstances. The areas you mention are private areas and not public areas like the water slide. The cruise is 7 days long and these children had 40 minutes. I agree with the person that mentioned engaging in conversation with the children to help make their experience one that they would remember fondly for a long time. All I hope is that she didn’t voice her opinion in front of the children from the orphanage or to her own children while the others were there. It is the kind of attitude that she showed that makes me wonder if we can truly live together in peace and harmony. I only hope that she 1) was having a bad day and took it out on the children and isn’t always like that and/or 2) if she is like that I hope that her children grow up to learn that it is not a good trait to have and they learn ‘not’ to be like that.
As for ‘prior approval’ this person doesn’t own the ship and if we knew about this on John’s blog I am quite sure that several announcements were made (written and verbal) that informed the passengers that while they were docked in port the children would be on board.
I hope you reconsider your position on this matter.
Surely John didn’t miss the opportunity to give her his “sincere and deepest apologies”! If anyone deserves that special code it would be her.
I agree 100% Janet. The children of that selfish woman could have been learning how to show compassion for those less fortunate. Instead, they learned how to be greedy and self indulgent. I admire Carnival for giving to these orphans a day of fun to remember. Thanks John for all you do.
Oh john do be carefull!
As for the lady that complained about the vomit..Maybe you could have told her the lady that complained about the poor orphans did it! There you go put to unhappy guests against each other!
Frank and Bridie
Dear Frank & Birdie,
You are sooooo BAD! I LOVE it.
The Cruzin2some
Dear John, Please Reply
I was on a Carnival cruise last March and I am interested in working for Carnival. I was wondering how big the crew rooms are. Also how many people are in a room and what is in each room (Tv, fridge, other features)?
Thanks,
Kevin
Love the drink card in the casino. I only dabble on the slots onboard cruise ships, much less than I gamble in Vegas. Two reasons: no free drinks, and I’m not sure the slot payouts at sea are regulated and as fair as land-based casinos.
At least now the drinks can be free!!!
HEY John!!
LOVE reading your blog and status’. I was wondering if you can give me more information on helping out at the orphanage in Mexico. I would love to volunteer sometime. I love doing that kind of thing. I volunteer each year for an entire week at a camp for kids with cancer/blood related diseases. The kids families do not pay to go. We have donations and fundraisers so they do not have to pay. $500 per child! SO worth it though. I also was in charge of a toy drive for a childrens hospital. Turned out amazing! With all the donations I received each child was able to get at least 3 toys. If you cant tell it is what I love and that is why I returned back to school to become an Elementary Teacher.
Have fun cruisin’! Stay out of trouble. ha
Nina
John please reply
I will be sailing with you on the Carnival Splendor Oct. 31- Nov. 7. Could you make sure that my group is seated together, please? My Cabins are 6405 and 6407 it is my husband and two kids, Cabin 1251 family of 4 new cruisers and cabin 1261 also two new cruisers. I am hoping to get both of these families hooked on cruising like my family and I are.
Also could you please post each ports local time compared to the ships time. I know some times the local time for a port is not the same as the ships time.
Thank you very much for taking the time to do this.
Hey John!!
OMG!! You are right that you don’t get paid enough!!! That woman was huge…hint…look for smaller women for your show just in case…LOL
Jan
John,
You are so good at this, I don’t know how you come up with such great stuff for your blog thingy. I can tell you that I appreciate every moment you put into it. I’m always amazed at how you can take us from a funny? story (the elevator stinky photo), through the process you went through in school (breath mints, etc), to the horrid self centered person (I won’t call her a “lady”) that was mad when her kids had a slight delay using the slides….then the info on Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth and the new Cunard ship, and finally to that infamous “Bedtime Story”…..and the “Bahama Mama” riding all the wind out of you. You are beyond brilliant in weaving your tales on the sea. Yes, Mr. Cahill does owe you some “Hazard Pay” for what you do each week…..and LOTS of extra dough for all the cr#p you put up with each week….I’d make it in your job about ½ of one day before throwing someone over the side prior to resigning. Congratulations on being so darn good what you do John.
We haven’t been hearing much about your Heidi and Kye lately….and trust me, we do want to hear about them both. Loved the photo of you and Kye with the orphans. That’s a beautiful picture and I want to send my thanks to the fine crew of Carnival Splendor for all of their work with those children.
Best of luck with getting “the Beards” to assign a hot Latvian model to assist with your sprained groin you poor sod. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you’ll get through the week without having too many “invitations” to buy Herbal Life products.
Thanks for everything you do for us here and on Facebook.
Your OLD buddy,
Steve O
John, as a teacher for over 25 years, I commend you and Carnival for having those children on board for a fun day and some loving attention from a lot of caring people. It really shows how a big corporation can have a big heart too! I’m so proud of you and the crew of the Carnival Splendor.
Please don’t let that spoiled woman who is raising spoiled children spoil your day. Heck, don’t let her spoil anything!
I have finally talked my mother into going on a Carnival Cruise again. Back in 1998, I won a 3 night cruise on the Fantasy and, since I took her with me. Let’s just say my Momma was taken aback by the glitz and energy of the Fantasy and thought Carnival wasn’t for her. Now, 12 years later, I have convinced her to give Carnival another try. She has seen how much my family and my brother’s family enjoy Carnival, and have looked at all our pictures and decided that maybe she should try again.
This is also the first trip for her since my stepfather passed 1 1/2 years ago. They traveled all over together and he was the best thing I could have hoped for her after my own father died. At 84, she has seen a fair portion of the world ( my own father was in the military), but has never been to Mexico or the Western Caribbean. She has booked a balcony all to herself beside ours, although I expect my 7 year old will try to keep her company every chance he gets. Momma’s name is Bobbie Anderson and she is in cabin 7277 on the Legend leaving October 17.
Thanks for all you and Carnival do to help the kids of the world. The fundraising for St. Jude’s is a great thing!
June
Hi John (please reply if you have the time)
Thank you for your blog and for answering everyone’s questions. You’ve answered more than a few from me and I am truly grateful! I enjoy reading your commentaries and your British wit keeps me laughing. I’m saddened that you will not be our CD on 10/10/10 on my (?) Carnival Valor out of Miami, but I’m sure that Goose will be an excellent CD for our voyage. If you have a moment, would you put a bug in his ear about something? I’ll be celebrating my birthday on 10/15 and would be just tickled pink if he were to send me a note or card for my scrapbook. My husband and I will be in cabin 1364. If it is a bother, then please don’t worry about it. (Oh dear, I hope I don’t catch trouble from the Cruise Critic brigade for asking….) Thank you again for taking the time to write each day.
Sierra
PS. I know you are a fan of the DB9′s. Are you also a Top Gear fan? I think my perfect trip would be flying to England, seeing the show, then a TA home to Boston with you as the CD.
John,
Next time you invite the orphans on the ship be sure to take a case of root beer with you and let them have root beer floats as well as anything else that you have planned. Root beer floats are always a treat.
Please Reply (please with sugar on top)
Do you still hear that theme song when I write to you?
Miss Ellie says Hi to Big John.
We are going on our firth Carnival cruise Oct.30th out of Charleston on the Carnival Fantasy. We are taking our granddaughter Frankie age 9 on her first cruise. She is so excited.—–BEWARE ASKING FOR SOMETHING—-
If possible could you have something in room U106 for her. Maybe a picture of you as I’ve shown her your blog and she knows whou you are. Just a little something to make her feel special.
She is one of those giggly talkative gal that makes you feel good to be alive and seeing the world through her eyes. In fact if the CD needs some time off she could fill in for him this week.
Thanks for your most enjoyable blog and God Bless,
JR
John
Just wanted to say that I am dumbfounded that the woman could complain about the orphans on the slide..WOW..it just makes me sad that there are people in the world like that..
Also…WOULDNT it be awesome if Carnival one day sailed to Australia..I just want to say …if they do..SIGN ME!!!
Dear Mr. Cahill,
Please give John a raise so he can buy some clothes that fit his much slimmer self better.
John,
You look great and I hope you offered the wicked ice queen your “sincerest apologies!”
Laura
I love to see your guest counts each week. Would it be possible to include how many Platinum guests are sailing with you each week?
D
Wow there is one in every crowd or on every ship or even on every message board. It is hard for me to imagine anyone feeling the way that lady (well not exactly a lady) felt but then to top it off by having the nerve to actually voice it. Incredible! Thank you John and Carnival for what have been doing for the orphans. Please keep it up. To the couple wanting to donate school supplies… it may not feel as special but it may be more helpful to make a cash donation that can be used as needed. And to the smuggler I have to laugh you are basically challenging Carnival to crack down even more.
John,
Hope your groin is better. I’m sitting here with headphones on (so I won’t bother anyone but it didn’t help today) at work. It’s 7am in the morning and I’m looking at your blog (its nice to start the day with a smile and your blog starts my day with one always) When I got to the video of you and “Mary” I burst out laughing so loud that everyone around me wanted to know what was going on. Just wanted to say thanks for your blog. I know it takes time out of your already busy day but I’m sure there are many people just like me who have cruised with you in the past and enjoy staying with you through your blogs.
Hi! John,
I just want to say how much my husband & I love Carnival Cruise Lines. We are goin on our 4th cruise Oct 24th on the Valor (cabin 1357) to celebrate our anniversary and we can’t be more excited.
I have a quick question…I heard you mention something about “a chef’s table” in the MDR, can you explain this please???
Thanks a million for all you do and we hope we cruise we you one day!
Thanks
Julia
Shame on the woman who couldn’t let some kids have 40 minutes on the slide. I am a devout Christian but I also believe in karma. What goes around comes around…..
Kitty Kat: How dumb can you be??? Never mind, as you already proved it……
Love the blog and wouldn’t change a thing. Keep it up John!
Your friend in Texas,
Larry Meador
John Please Reply
Hi John. Just wanted to say once again how much I enjoy reading your blog each day. I always get a good laugh reading about your adventures on the ships. Remember, you can never please every person and there will always be someone who will have a complaint, even if they are having a good time.
Last year, my wife and I had the honour (spelt correctly) of celebrating our Honeymoon on the Dream with you and the Bloggers. We had such an incredible time and the Dream is a Wonderful Lady. I still remember a comment you made when we were getting our formal picture with you. Diane and I walked in with big glasses of wine and you said to my wife “Now that’s a big glass of wine you have there”. The picture is great as Diane has a glazed look on her face. Still not sure if it was due to that big glass of wine or maybe it was just being in your presence?
Diane and I will be celebrating our Anniversary on our Carnival Legend leaving on Oct 31 out of Tampa. We have two nights reserved in the Steakhouse as well the Chef’s Table (which we are really excited about).
Would it be possible for you to send something special to our cabin for our anniversary? Our cabin is # 6153.
Thanks again for all that you do and we hope to see you again soon, possibly on the Magic next year for the TA.
David
John
Please reply.
After reading about the good luck coins on ships I attempted to locate the one on the Conquest last week. I had no luck & asked GSD. They said it was on deck 5 starboard just outside the Toluse lounge. There is a show case with plaques there and the coin looking thingy doesn’t appear to be the good luck coin. Can you find out where it is located as I am sure I will be on the Conquest again. Thanks Don.
John, (Please Reply)
I can’t believe how selfish and small minded the woman who complained about the orphans is. She is truly of the “me” generation. People like her feel the world revolves around them and they have absolutely no consideration or concern about anyone else. I can just imagine how her kids are going to be when they grow up! How sad!
Kitty Kat is a total jerk and I can bet you dollars to donuts she/he doesn’t use that name when he/she posts on cruise critic because he/she doesn’t have the nerve to post under the name that’s used on CC.. I just wish there was a way to find out who the person was and if/when he/she sails on Carnival again, there would be a full search of his/her luggage. What an idiot!
I like the idea of free drinks in the casino. I don’t know that I will get to 1500 points, but who knows?
John,
I was so excited to see the announcement about Complimentary Drinks…….but now I’m disappointed to read that this is currently only a trial on the Splendor and the Dream……The Carnival Players Club has been advertising this as a perk for many months, but I have been unable to find anyone who knew anything about it.
I’m disappointed because I’ll be sailing on our 2nd annual Conquest Crazies cruise this Sunday and as this is just a trial, I’m guessing that I won’t have this perk to take advantage of…
I blow past 1500 points pretty fast and was so looking forward to this. Oh, well I’ll still get my 4 or 5 free $10 credits for each of the 1000 point marks that I make.
Any chance you can call over to the Conquest and have them roll this out of the 9/26 sailing???????
Hey John!
Loved the picture. My gosh, Kye is growing up fast. She is a beautiful young lady. I know you are very proud of her.
Glad to hear that drink cards will be available in the casino. Nikki really enjoys playing the slots. That will certainly come in handy for her.
I was dumbfounded with the comment about the orphans on the slide. I am really glad that Carnival reaches out to the localities and makes these things available to the children who do not have as much.The children were absolutely adorable in the picture. It must have been one of the happiest days of their lives.
Keep doing the good things you are doing.
PLEASE REPLY
Hi John,
We’ll be joining you on the Splendor on 10/10/10 for our very first cruise ever. I’m extremely excited, but my husband is a bit of a nervous traveler. To top it off he’ll be competing in his first mini triathlon early that morning. He seems to be pretty concerned about being eaten by a shark during the race, so I think for now that is replacing his anxiety about living on a ship for a week. If there is anything you could send that might ease his mind a bit, I’d really appreciate it. Statistics show that there were only 10 shark attacks on the California coast in 2009, so I’m feeling like his odds of surviving and making it onto the ship are good. We’re in 8326.
We’ll have our 20 month son with us, so I’m also wondering if you have any tips on entertaining an active toddler while on board the ship. Will Kye still be with you during our trip? If so, I’d love for Max to be able to say, “Hi!”
- Carissa
P.S. I only found your blog yesterday, but I hope they pay you a lot of money. And whatever it is, it’s probably not enough. Your grace, patience and humor appears to be infinite.
Hello John,
Since we just got back from the Carnival Victory Sunday afternoon I have had a lot of blogs to catch up on so I just skimmed the comments section.
To add a few comments of my own:
- we really think the Captain’s celebration should be changed back to the way it was. A lot of people aren’t even aware of this and it just doesn’t have the same impact as it did.
- To go along with the celebration theme – very few people are aware of the Farewell Party. I’m surprised at how few people show up for this event. There is just a small mention made of this in the Fun Times and it isn’t brought up again so most people miss this.
- The comment about not drinking the water in Mexico is very common and it is given when you go to land resorts in Mexico as well as on cruise ships. This is not an affront to Mexico but rather to the fact that our bodies are not used to the difference in the water/ice. The people living there don’t get sick but people outside of Mexico frequently get sick. This is just common sense.
- We think it’s time for a change in the Platinum gift. We have a “ton” of frames already with the prospect of getting even more soon. We appreciate the fact that Carnival gives us anything at all since it is not required but there should be a change or a choice of what we receive. Hopefully this is being looked at.
Enjoy your time with Key and Heidi and I’ll post some comments about our cruise soon.
Linda & George
John, I can truthfully say that the 9/12 sailing of the Splendor with you was my best cruise ever! The shows were great and we loved the comedians too. People who find piddly stuff to complain about must not know how to have a good time. We are not heavy gamblers or drinkers (but do a little of both) and we had a GREAT time. There was always something to do. Our head waiter and assistant Manuel and Gunadi were great as was our room stewards John and Wiartami. Special to us was Patricia from the photo gallery who waited on us the first night and from that point on called us by name whenever we saw her after that – that is great customer service. Your daughter is adorable and it was nice you let everyone see her at the show. Our previous ships have been the Jubilee, Glory, Celebration, Holiday, Freedom and 1 NCL cruise. We will be back in 2011 – maybe Alaska this time. Thanks again for everything.
Barb
Dear John,
I just want to thank you for arranging the table for 4 for us on the Destiny 9/16. My girlfriend and I as long as the couple we were traveling with really appreciated it. Especially because we had a GREAT waitress. Her name was Aisa, and im pretty sure she was from Bosnia. We had the late dining in the Universe Lower. She was a genuinely awesome person, very nice and especially funny. We will always remember her, and we hope she could get recognized for her great work. We would also like to mention one of the photographers who was from South Africa, her name was Lauren Bubb. She took a few photos of my girlfriend and I that came out amazing! She was really fun and had me and my girlfriend laughing the whole time. It is people like her and Aisa why we continue to return to Carnival, as we will always remember them and this vacation in general due to the friends we made. Lastly we also made good friends with one of the ship’s bands, I dont recall their name but the keyboardists name was Jose and we had lots of fun with them over the cruise. Below I will link you to a picture of us with them. Thanks again John for helping us out. We cant wait to take another Carnival cruise in March, and make even more connections and friends! Thanks Aisa, Lauren and Jose if you ever get to see this!
http://twitpic.com/2qnldy
May “Snob-Mom” gain at least 300 pounds and be 24/7 in her after-life assulated by unrelenting hordes of HerbaLife consultants before a big sales promotion. That menopuase hits her at 40 and lasts till she is at least 65, then she will have a good preview of of what is yet to come.
Great that there are now drinks for the slot players – but how about us table players???? Once in all my CCL cruises did the pit boss buy a round. And only after we were all betting big.
John, Please Reply
I just returned from the September 12th sailing of the Carnival Legend. Thank you very much for arranging the window seating in the dining room and the items that you sent my grandchildren. They were very happy that you did that and the fact that Jen wrote a note saying they were from “Bobble Head” just made them both smile.
When I first saw that Jen Baxter was listed as the Cruise Director in the Fun Times, I was not sure if I would be impressed with her based on previous comments that I had read and heard on previous cruises plus I thought Wee Jimmy was going to be the Cruise Director. Just to set the record straight, any and all negative comments that I had read or heard were without merit based on what I observed. I have been on quite a few cruises and I can honestly say that Jen ranks up there with the best Cruise Directors that I have seen. Without a doubt, she was the most visible as she seemed to be at every event (most of these are normally done by the Social Host) and she must have constantly been walking around the ship because it seemed like I saw her everywhere. She was very funny, energetic and entertaining. She was an excellent Cruise Director.
Ken in the dining room was excellent as usual, the food was very good, and the dining team of Rex and Totsiana were amazing.
Thanks again for everything that you do for everyone and the daily entertainment which we all enjoy.
John Please Reply:
John, we sail on the Dream Dec 12, 2010. This will be our 16th cruise with Carnival and the 2nd on the Dream. Our dauther and her boy friend are sailing with us in Dec. I know you receive a lot request each day, but I have a favor to ask. Our dauther sailed with on the Glory last year, had a great time but during dinning each evening we were seated in an outside section behind a pole. She missed seeing most of the waiters singing and dancing. It would be great if our group could be seated in the main area so we could see the waiters singing on the stairs.
Working to Milestone
Thanks
leedm
John,
I’m just back from our B2B on the Carnival Pride – It was so great to be back home for 2 weeks and it was great to become Platinum on the 2nd leg – YEA!!
I want to give you a big THANK YOU for getting our early seating confirmed. Manuel was so good to us, not only did he have a table towards the entrance during our 1st leg, he also was able to accommodate our group of 9 close to the entrance on our 2nd leg. Please thank him again for me!!
I LOVE the PRIDE!! Kirk and Jaime are the best and seeing them again was like meeting up with good friends. Now I feel like they are family!! I also got to visit again with 6-3 (Amy) she was on the Dream when we did the TA – what a great person. I’m so happy she was promoted to Asst CD. It was great to see Kim Harrison again – what a funny lady, I just love her. I met Adam, who I sometimes referred to as Andy – Please let him know I know his name is Adam – he was so nice and so friendly. He and Amy made it a point to yell good-bye to me from the gangway, as I was making my way into Customs – Please make sure they know I heard them and let them know I’m sending (((hugs)))) to both of them. I also had the pleasure to meeting Felipe, Kirk’s replacement and Felipe’s fiancé, what a beautiful couple. I wish them both many years of happiness and I wish Felipe all the best while filling in for Kirk.
I want to acknowledge Tatyana, who was our first server at table 171 and Joseph who was our 2nd server at table 100 – both were fabulous.
I have always gone to the Steakhouse at least once when I cruise and I always get the lobster tail. I love the presentation they way the curl the two halves of the tail and stack them on top of each other with a sprig of thyme in the middle. Well I was very surprised when my lobster came and it was 3 small ½ tails just sitting on the plate. I was very disappointed that I was not told that the 10oz lobster tail, which is on the presentation tray, was not available and they were substituting that delicious 10oz lobster tail with 10oz of lobster meat. Unfortunately it was not what I expected and not as good as the 10oz lobster tail. Had the Steakhouse advised us that the tail we saw on the presentation tray was not available, I would have ordered something else. Needless to say, I was not a good experience…but 1 out of 10 is not a bad track record!!
As I said I love the Pride and will no doubt be back on it again. I just wish when the ship is in dry dock, Carnival will consider changing the huge murals of the completely naked lady with her had placed over her???. There are two murals of this lady one on deck 2 and one on deck 3. For a family ship they are just a bit reveling, even if they represent fine art – I think you know what I mean.
All in all, I had a fabulous 2 weeks on the ship and just adore Kirk and Jaime, if and when they get assigned to a different ship, please keep them close so I can cruise with them often.
Next up is the Glory and hopefully the Spirit in August. – got to keep our stock price climbing!!
See you soon!!!
All my best to you, Heidi and Kye,
Deborah
I’ll be watching for you on the tele!…
or a main showroom in Vegas!
Funny stuff, Mr. Heald.
Thanks so much for the laughs!
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John,
Your story reminds me of the time that my 7th grade health teacher directed his students to prepare posters at home, which illustrated the concepts being taught in class. My own assignment was to prepare a poster called “Aids to Elimination” (this was in the early 60s, so the disease called AIDS had not yet been heard of.) The idea was to show pictures of lettuce, oatmeal, whole grain bread etc.
Before and after this incident, I was a bright student. However on this occasion, I somehow convinced myself that my teacher had been grammatically incorrect. Therefore, I proudly and innocently produced a poster titled “Aids to Constipation”. My teacher of course assumed that I was being a smartass. He did not beat me, but he did make me create a new poster with the proper title.