As you now know I am going to be leaving the beautiful Carnival Freedom on Saturday for another flight…………..another six hour flight in a metal tube breathing in other peoples farts.
And I will be doing this in coach! A lot of people on the blog, on Facebook and in person always say “Ahhhh……..you must be flying business class?” When I reply “Business class my arse,“ they seem horrified.
“But you CAN’T fly coach, it’s ridiculous,” they cry. “You’re Carnival’s brand ambassador and a smooth talking senior cruise director……bet you could talk the airline into giving you an upgrade.”
Bollocks can I.
It’s impossible these days to get a free upgrade because not only will I be trying but so will many, many other passengers be trying the same thing. Begging, pleading and occasionally demanding an upgrade has become an obsession.
I tried once and as I did I realised how pitiful I must have looked to those in the line behind me as the fat British bloke tried flattering to death a bored check in person, who had heard it all before and from far better looking men then me. When she told me a simple “no upgrades” all hope that I might be able to creep beyond the blue curtain buggered off…….. and I was left in row C490…….next to the toilets enjoying 8 hours smelling either the chicken or the beef.
I fly a lot and have seen it all………. faking a bad leg…….. playing tonsil hockey with their partner in the line and pretending that they have just got engaged. And of course this free upgrade obsession is not only a flying thingy but a cruising thingy as well. I asked the chief purser how man …….bugger…………….I asked the guest services manager how many requests for an upgrade he received yesterday during embarkation………..have a guess ………. go on ……….I did and I was way wrong. I guessed that 20 guests had asked for an upgrade ……………the actual number ………. 53. That is 53 guests who thought that they would try to get an upgrade from an inside deck 1 cabin …………to the penthouse. And just like when people ask the nice lady at the check in desk for an upgrade using the normal excuses, so too are there the standard reasons as to why they should get one.
Their travel agent said they would get one. The cabin is too small and they are claustrophobic and can’t possibly stay there. They know Carnival’s owner Mr. Arnerson and he said that they would get a suite.
Listen…………I would love to fly business class …………and occasionally I can use frequent flyer points when I am on British Airways to do so, but internal flights across the States………forget about it. I would like to fly business class only because I am already tired of flying and I would love to stretch out and be able to sleep a bit.
But when I fly I see that for most flying first or business class all that matters is how far away you sit from the commoners in coach. Some people say it’s all about the extra legroom like I just did but for some that’s total bollocks. It’s about being a flying snob. With a first or business class ticket you’re granted not just more leg room and a hot towel but the right to feel superior to the people behind you in “goat class.”
So I won’t be trying to get an upgrade. I won’t try wearing a tie or breaking my economy seat on purpose. I won’t be borrowing one of Carnival’s wheelchairs and pretend not to be able to walk to get a better seat on the plane or a ride on one of those airport carts that go beep, beep, beep, beep as they thunder along..
I guess in a way it’s no different to asking the spotted youth behind the counter at McDonalds for a Big Mac even though you have only paid for a quarter pounder. You’d never insist that J.C Penney gives you a pair of Calvin Klein underpants……. when you’ve only paid for a pair of Fruit of the Loom tightie whities.
So, it’s coach for me and at least I will sit in the last row at the back of the plane knowing that if we hit a mountain……………the bastards in 1st class will be the first ones to die.
Time for today’s Q and A……..off we trot.
T.H. Kelly Asked:
JOHN, PLEASE REPLY !!!!!!My girlfriend and I will be on the Magic in August and going to Venice as one of the ports. I want to propose to my wife there and then take her for a romantic dinner. I have booked the gondola tour on Carnival but then need to go somewhere to celebrate that she hopefully said yes. Do you have any suggestions. We were on the Conquest with you and along with the cabin steward Sylvi you were the highlight and we are looking forward to seeing you again. Love your blog and Facebook updates
Thanks
John Says:
Hello T.H.Kelly,Well first of all thanks for the kind words and congratulations on your choice of your Carnival Magic and a gondola in Venice……..how can any girl resist that? Venice is of course the City of Lights and I have to be honest the city that can have some of the slowest service in the entire universe. Yes, the universe, because even if you found the restaurant in Paris that had the slowest and sometimes rudest service in the city………and that’s most restaurants in Paris…….it would still be better than the service in Venice. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Venice and there is no more jaw dropping sight in the world than sailing into this incomparable city……except seeing me naked ….………. that’s pretty incomparable, as well.
But if you can learn to laugh at the Manuel from Fawlty Towers type service the food is pretty special. Try Il Galliano just off St. Mark’s Square but if you want to really celebrate then you have to go to Harry’s Bar..I know lots of people who say that Harry’s Bar is their favorite restaurant in the world. What’s even more astonishing is that a fair proportion of them are Italian.. The menu, including the fabled Chef Emm’s risotto and carpaccio is amazing but remember a meal there is about the same as a four day cruise…I went one time with Heidi and my friends the Bentleys and the food was some of the best I had ever tasted……but that probably had something to do with the fact that they were paying. Anyway, when you get onboard lets chat and I will update you on the restaurant scene……….but maybe that night……..you should consider the steakhouse………….value for money it’s the best place to eat in town.
See you soon.
Best wishes
JohnPeter Du Pree Asked:
Reply pleaseI was on the Valor last week and I found the decor to be really tacky. I am a Canadian and was disgusted at the fact that everything celebrated America when you have many passengers who are not American. It seems your designers put no thought into this or they don’t care about Canadians. On the good side Elvietta our waiter was the best we have ever had and the Steak house was well worth the money. My question is why it was so hard to get the program in French. My Mother speaks no English and I wanted to get the daily program in French but they never came. The menu was available for her but nothing else. I was angry at having America rubbed in my face and as a Canadian I felt a second class citizen on the ship. America does not rule the world so why do they rule your ships? Even the shows have the American anthem in it.
John Says:
Hello Peter Du Pree,I am trying to remember the decor of the Carnival Valor and can’t think what it was that made you so upset for which I apologise. But let me assure you that each week we carry hundreds if not thousands of Canadian guests most of whom have the very best of times. We should have been able to provide though a copy of the Fun Times in French and I am surprised that this was not available. I will make sure I pass this comment on to the ship along with your praise of the stateroom stewards and the steakhouse.
Our Canadian guests are really important to us and I hope that you remember all the good things that you and your family enjoyed on your cruise and come and join us again.
Best wishes to you all
JohnMonique Asked:
Dear John,I am a travel agent and I have some gay clients sailing on Queen Mary in May. They will be celebrating their wedding anniversary on board and have heard that there is an anniversary celebration that is given to couples sailing within 2 months of their anniversary. This is supposed to include a bottle of champagne, a signed note from the Captain and a photo, all free! I am not sure if this will apply to my clients as they are gay and I need to make sure that the ship understands the situation
Can you help me with this.
Monique
John Says:
Monique,Thanks for letting me know about your clients. I will make sure this post reaches my friends at Cunard and that they are informed of the situation. Please wish your clients a wonderful voyage and if there is anything else I can ever do for you please let me know
Cheers
JohnCatherine W Asked:
John, please reply. I am so excited, I just booked the May 22nd sailing on the Magic with you! It will be my third Carnival cruise and the first for my sister-in-law, who will be traveling with me. I have a question for you – the ship docks overnight in Venice, so does that mean that we will be able to stay out late and be able to get back on ship or do they lock us out at a certain time? I know it’s a stupid question, but I’ve never been on a cruise with an overnight port. Thanks for your reply, and I can’t wait to meet you in May!
Catherine W.
John Says:
Hello Catherine W,Congratulations on booking your Carnival Magic and I am thrilled that you have done so. Isn’t it funny that in today’s blog there have been two questions all about Venice? Anyway, yes the ship is there overnight and you can come and go as many times as you like while we are there. I will provide a brief talk on Venice once you are onboard and will explain all about how to get around Venice.
See you soon.
Best wishes
JohnSea2see Asked:
John. – replyThanks to your failure to answer my question in time my fears of being put at a table with non desirables came true. I had asked you for a table just for me and my partner but you never responded in time. This meant that we sat with a family whose kids were obnoxious and ruined every dinner. Your blog is a customer service tool and it failed to provide any of that for me. We won’t be asking you for anything else. Why waste my time. The air conditioning in cabin 1428 was too war as well.
John Says:
Hello Sea2see,I am so sorry that I did not see your request in time. I answer 50 questions a week here on the blog thingy and probably 50 or more on Facebook each week and am really doing the very best I can. Once again my apologies and I hope despite your table disappointment you had a fun time. I am here should you reconsider and need to ask me anything. I will also make sure I pass on your comments about the air conditioning to the vessel as well. Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best wishes,
JohnFran from New York Asked:
ReplyI had posted a question THREE TIMES and I STILL haven’t received a response. So here it is AGAIN
We are in cabin 7288 on Dream sailing Feb 12. It’s our 25th anniversary and we will need a table for 2. Do you send anniversary gifts as well?
John Says:
Hello Fran from New York Nancy,I didn’t see the first two requests but am glad it was third time lucky. I will ask the maitre d to do his best to assist you and I will be happy to send you an anniversary gift.
Have a great cruise.
Best wishes,
JohnJohn Seacrest Asked:
Dear John (Please Reply)E & E have done such a wonderful job filling in for you on the blog thingy while you have been away. I have a request that I hope can be accommodated.
We are on the Carnival Dream on March 5th – 12th with 5 other family members. You assisted us in getting our Chef’s Table reservations set up. While we are on-board the group will be celebrating 3 birthdays.
Would there be any chance of having CD Butch stop by our table at one of the dinners to say hello and wish my fiancée Karen a Happy Birthday. Her actual birthday is on 3/7 but I think that is the night of the Chef’s Table. Any night would be wonderful and I am sure she would remember it as a very special gift.
Our cabin is 7377 and we are confirmed for early dining.
Thanks so much for all you do.
JohnJohn Says:
Hello John Seacrest,Yes indeed Eric and Everett the beards have done a brilliant job for me and I am so thankful to them and their tofu lunches. I have sent your request to Butch who I am sure will be able to stop by and say hello. I hope you all have a brilliant cruise and have time to tell me all about it when you get home.
Carlynn L Asked:
Please help me and replyMy 14 year old son Carl has Asperger’s syndrome. I went on another cruise last year (not Carnival) and the staff at the kids club seemed hesitant to let him take part and it was rather an uncomfortable time. We had to see the hotel manager and sign a waiver etc. We will be going on the Victory in June and I would like to know if I will have the same problems on this ship.
Thank you
Carlynn and familyJohn Says:
Hello Carlynn,I was so sad to read the problems you had on your last cruise and let me say that I promise you will not have any similar concerns when you cruise the Carnival Victory. Our Circle C staff look after and entertain many children who have similar concerns and they will be ready to look after and entertain Carl. I know there are some readers of the blog thingy who have children with Aspergers and maybe they would like to pass on any advice in the comment section below.
Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns
Best wishes to you all
JohnBandmaster Jack Asked:
Please reply JohnI am a high school bandmaster and will be going on the Paradise with my band for spring break. We are scheduled to perform a concert onboard and would like permission to put this in the daily program and invite the ship to come and listen. My travel agent says that this is not possible so I thought I would ask King John.
Thanks for anything you can do
JackJohn Says:
Hello Jack,King John……that’s funny. Of course we can do this for you Jack and I am sure the guests will enjoy this. Please can you send me the sailing date and the group booking number here to the blog and I will arrange this for you. I hope you all have a great time
Best wishes
John
That’s all for today and I will be back with more tomorrow. Now a while ago I promised that I would post some PDF thingies of the Carnival Capers from around ……. bugger ……. the Fun Times from around the fleet. Well we will start today with of course the Carnival Freedom.
Now I should point out that Eric the Beard is working on a drop box thing in which these will be permanently stored and by the end of March I intend to have the whole fleet in there. I know many of you will find this useful so you can see what night we do what, arrival and departure times and all the information that they have within. So here then are the current 6 and two 8 day cruises of the Carnival Freedom.
You can find the FunTimes PDFs here.
-Everett
We are in Key West today and as I sit here in my underpants on Promenade deck writing to you it will come as no surprise to learn that agreeing with the beards to let Dan take over as CD this cruise was a huge sodding mistake. Not because he didn’t do well because he did. He really did. But as I sat watching his show last night I realised again that the time when I can stay on one ship, being a cruise director, for a full contract cannot come quick enough.
Dan’s welcome aboard show went well as I said but like any CD doing this for the first time he was a nervous wreck. The welcome aboard show is the first impression the guests have of the cruise director and sets the tone on how he or she will be perceived for the rest of the cruise. That’s why it is so important for the cruise director to make a good impression on that first night to make sure that guests have a great time, the listen to the info. that the CD provides and participate in all the activities on board. Anyway, Dan did well. I had a few notes for him which I hope he will take to heart when I meet with him shortly.
Now on Saturday I had posted something on my Facebook page about Superbowl. There had been some discussion amongst the management here on the Carnival Freedom about showing the game in the main lounge as well as on the Seaside Theatre Big Screen, aft lounge and sports bar.
I had said no to this stating that not everyone wanted to watch the game and that we had to give guests an alternative. And so we did not cancel the welcome aboard show and it was a good job because there were approx 200 – 300 people there for the events starting at 8 pm, 500 plus for the bingo before the show and around 800 for the show itself. So it was the right thing to do.
Before I talk about the game itself let’s talk about another brilliant “nipplegate” type moment at the Super Bowl yesterday. I am of course talking about Christina Arachnophobia and her forgetting the words to the national anthem. I honestly had no idea she had done this until I read the news this morning because as soon as I saw her I reached for the cabin TV remote control and hit thee mute button to spare me the inevitable pain. When she sings I can feel you can feel the enamel peel from your teeth unlike last year when that wonderful lady whose name totally escapes me sang such a wonderful rendition of it after suffering the terrible family tragedy.
There was no doubt the game was popular though as you will see from these photos.
So a successful night all round………except I am an idiot. I know I am helping Dan who is just starting his career but ………I really really miss the microphone.
I did watch a bit of the game and I have to say some of those chaps are as big as freight trains. How do they fly to games? Not in coach for sure and even first class seats wouldn’t be big enough for some of them. Maybe they get about on those troop carrier planes that the US use to move Jeeps and tanks about? They should go one stage further. If you dressed these man mountains in US Army uniforms armed to the teeth and got them to wander about the streets of Kabul, then I am sure the Taliban would bugger off pretty damn quickly.
I always feel sorry for the specialist kickers when they get ummmm…….I don’t know the right word. You know……….when these skinny sods are jumped on my thousands of pounds of muscle. I don’t know the correct term for this but I am sure seeing this the term the kicker uses is “I am about to enter s**t street.” Or maybe there is a simple cry of…………..Mummy.
The game was shown in the UK because American football is popular in my home country as is the NBA. The problem is we don’t have anyone who understands the game well enough to give a decent commentary and when they do saying “Oh what a splendid touchdown, well played Mr. Running Back” doesn’t seem right somehow.
But then again it’s the same when Americans think they can start talking English. There is a chap here on the Carnival Freedom in the orchestra who I have known for some time who every time he sees me calls me “mate.”
When he does I’m filled with a sudden desire to insert my foot in his bottom. Americans cannot say “mate” any more than Germans can say “squirrel.” And it’s even worse when a Brit tries to speak American, we that we sound idiotic when we use the word “bucks” instead of “dollars.”
The gold medal winner on trying to speak with an English accent must go to Kevin Costner in Robin Hood. He tried hard for the first 20 minutes of the film then just gave up and returned to his American twang. I realize it must be hard. My friend Kevin I think does a good job in masking the fact that he is a kilt-wearing, haggis-eating Scot when he speaks in Grey’s Anatomy as does the guy from House.
We all know that there are differences in the meaning of words in English and American…… the popular ones such as fanny and tart are well known. However, I heard a doctor use a word this morning that I truly did not understand. This morning on CNN there was a story that made me sit up as a doctor described the condition of a patient.
A young chap who had been using his cell phone on the third story of an office block when the elevator doors opened. Without looking, he stepped through the gap only to find the lift ……. sorry……….elevator…… wasn’t actually there.
In the resultant fall he broke his back in two places, punctured a lung and snapped several ribs. But even so, doctors on this morning’s news described his condition as “comfortable.” Now look. Someone lying on the deck of his private yacht being massaged by three naked Latvian supermodels is “comfortable.” Someone lying in a Californian hospital with a broken back and a shattered rib poking through one of his lungs just isn’t. Crumpled would have been better. As would miserable, broken, or pissed of.
Yep, there are many differences in our languages as my friend and Carnival comic Lewis Nixon found out when he went to London for the first time. He was in a hotel and as he walked to his room he heard an English lady say to her colleague ´Timothy, will you knock me up in the morning.” Which in proper English means “Will you wake me up in the morning?
Lewis not understanding this shouted across……”Hey…….why wait to morning, I’ll knock you up right now.”
So back to the game and the decision not to show Ben Doublechesseburger getting his arse kicked in the main theatre was the right one as I have already discussed in today’s blog and apart from getting up at 6:30am to pass through Immigration and not getting my new deck 6 cabin until 5:45pm, it was a day that was going well. Right up to the point when I got screamed at and sworn at by two readers of this blog who told me that they “had booked this 6 day cruise” because I was going to be the cruise director. So there I stood, by the entrance to the aft lounge being called a son of a b**ch and other charming names. I did all I could to apologise and explain and when I ultimately said “what can I do to make you happy?”……….the reply of “a 50% refund” shocked me.
It’s difficult to write the many different emotions I am feeling about this. The pride that me being and then not being the CD….the anger at being sworn at so loudly and with so much aggression that the assistant food and beverage manager came over and asked if I needed assistance.
I told them that I would need to consult with the office and that we should meet tomorrow morning before they went ashore in Key West or after they returned. They chose to meet me at 5 pm and I will do so in the presence of the guest services manager. Why will he be there ……… well maybe shouldn’t tell you because there is a chance that they may read this blog but after the verbal bashing I got last night and the dreadful and spiteful names they called me in a public area……..I feel I have no choice.
You see I asked the GSM to check on his computer and the reservation system he has access to. A reservation system that shows that this couple booked this cruise here on the Carnival Freedom in July 2010. I didn’t know nor did I announce I would be on the Carnival Freedom …………….until early December.
When I discovered this I was really very angry……but now I have calmed down a bit ………… and I have to say…………now I just feel sorry for them.
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
To Carlynn
My 7 year old with Aspergers has been on 3 Carnival cruises thus far. I always make sure that we go to the orientation for the camp on the first night and introduce him to everyone. The orientation can get a bit overwhelming so if your son has trouble with crowds you can hang back until the end and then speak to the staff one-on-one. They will put a note on his ID that he has Aspergers as well. (it will not be embarrasing dont worry). I also ask for one of the beepers that they give to the younger children’s parents to that if there is a problem I can be reached quickly (this has never happened). We leave in 13 days for our next cruise and my son has just asked if he can stay late for babysitting at night. If you want to contact me please email me petrolgrup@aol.com
Just want to thank you for your help in getting my wife and i a very nice table for two on our recent ( 1-23-11) Freedom cruise. It was nice having a table where we could enjoy thye dancing and singing. Thanks again.
Way to go, John. Rudeness should never be rewarded, even better when you have proof they are lying. I’m constantly amazed at how quicklysome people forget how to behave in public.
Also, about the upgrades. I have never asked for an upgrade to first class, but I have received them a few times. Why? Because I was extremely polite to the person checking me in. It’s never wrong to empathize with someone, and if it gets you a bigger seat, more power to you!
It’s true, you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. I just wish more people remembered that.
Wishing you smooth seas and fast flights.
Fran and Sea2See – you should be ashamed of yourselves! Greedy greedy! Neither John nor Carnival owe you anything and you are lucky that he even took the time to answer your extremely rude messages! So you didn’t get a table for 2, boo freaking hoo. Are you really that shallow that you let it ruin your WHOLE vacation? Nobody forced you to eat in the MDR. I know a bunch of people that would give their left arm to go on a cruise regardless of annoying table mates.
To Mel, I totally agree with you!!! I work in the service industry (server) for a major chain, and I constantly get told from guests,” I always get this at no extra charge, the server I had last week said they could do this for me, what do you mean its not free, etc.”, not to mention when you ask the guest, “How are you enjoying your meal?” and they respond “Great” until its time to pay the bill…then the litany of complaints roll out. Trust me whn I tell you the “kiss of death” is when a guest says your service was the best ever…sure its the best when they cant tip you properly.
John, you do a fantstic job, Ive sailed with you on Truimph and will sail with you again on Magic in November. Btw, did you happen to look at my request for table of two Sensation 2/24 cabin U2? thanks keep up great work
Couldn’t have said it better myself. The rudeness of some people when making their requests is getting tiring and I find myself skipping over the Q&A section more and more.
Dear Carlynn L:
We have a 19 year old son with Asperger’s. We have been cruising with him since he was about 6. Camp Carnival has always exceeded our expectations. He just completed cruise number 42…..and this is only possible due to the wonderful and caring staff on Carnival.
If you would email me at musicalcruiser@hotmail.com, I would love to see if I might have some tips that would help make Carl’s cruise the best vacation ever!! I would love to answer any specific questions you may have and I have an article that I wrote about cruising Carnival with Asperger’s.
Please put “Cruising with Asperger’s” in the subject line if I can be of assistance.
Linda (Mom of DJ)
We will be on the Freedom for the Super Bowl next year. Let the countdown begin.
Hey John, don’t assume everyone is faking a bad leg! When I flew to my recent Carnival Dream cruise, I really did have a bad leg! And because of it, I got assigned bulkhead seating. Honestly though, I would have rather sat in a regular row, the arm rests in the bulkhead don’t come up, and my boyfriend and I like to raise the arm rests so that we can more comfortably lean against each other. And, because I was wearing this giant brace on my leg, I had to get a pat down by the wonderful TSA people (the folks at Port Canaveral were much nicer and much less invasive than the airport people, btw). It’s a huge pain, especially because I was allowed to take the brace off 3 days before we left for the cruise, but I almost felt like people wouldn’t believe that a young, healthy looking 25 year old wouldn’t be able to get her knee bent enough to sit in a regular seat for 3 hours. So I ended up wearing my brace when I would have much rather not worn it.
Susan, I know whay you mean about pat downs. I have had a double hip replacement and get the pat down every time I go anywhere. I just tell the person at the chech point an sumit and don’t complaine because it’s for all our safety. Carninval has been great also but I do have to be wanded ever time I come on board. You get use to it.
John:
About a week or so ago, I posted a comment on your blog in regards to the fact that I hadn’t received a survey from Carnival following my cruise on the Carnival Legend on 1/9/11. Prior to my comment to you, I had tried contacting Carnival directly through the website but hadn’t received a response. About a day or so after my comment to you, however, I received an e-mail from Carnival’s customer service who promptly sent me a survey. I’m not sure if you had anything to do with their response, but either way I just way to say thank you. I had a fantastic time on the Legend and wanted to be sure Carnival knew that. I had such a great time in fact that just over 2 weeks after my return to reality, I convinced my parents and aunts to book a cruise on the Legend. I will be returning with them in October and cannot wait!
Thanks again for everything you do on your blog thingy and Facebook. I always enjoy reading your posts.
Christine
John the football term you were looking for is “dog pile” where all the other players pile on top of the other team player. Of course the term could also be used to describe the so called bloggers who were screaming at you, I think a dog pile fits them also.
Doug,
That must be the PC version of it. Back in my very younger days it was different.
BIG Ed
I like that…..lol
John:
No need to beg, lie or smooze to get an upgrade. David gets an upgrade to first class almost every time he flies, all based on his seniority as a loyal Delta customer.
When you are waiting to board your flight, all you have to do is look at the board and everyone’s name that is eligible for an upgrade is shown in the order of seniority.
This has been most helpful in other ways as well. When a flight is cancelled and everyone was scrabbling to get that last seat from Atlanta to Memphis a few months back….David got the seat, because he had the seniority.
This is a PERFECT Milestone perk to add. Rewarding your most loyal customers with a free upgrade is as good for business on cruise lines as it is on airlines. It frees up a less expensive cabin to sell AND rewards those who sail Carnival the most.
As for the couple who swore at you (lying to you the entire time) about booking because you were to be the CD…..
well, there just are NO WORDS.
Sure to wish these troglodykes could be put on a very special list….
the NO CRUISE LIST….
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
In the context of a serious injury, “comfortable” is doctor-speak for “stoned out of his mind on legal narcotics.”
Sea2see,
No where does it say this is a “customer service tool ” . That is just a rumor found on CC spread by people there saying this is a place to get free things.This is a blog about the daily life of a cruise director by John Heald a cruise director. At times he may be able to help bloggers here with a special request or a problem but that is not the purpose of his blog.
Once you saw that John didn’t get to your request did you even bother to ask the Maitre D’ for a change. That is what most of us do on the first day on the ship. We go to the Maitre D’ if we need a table change.
BIG Ed
I feel sorry for the poor family at See to See’s table, I’ll bet with that attitude, their vacation was substandard as well!
Hi John — very recent fan of yours and will be aboard the Splendor on the 20th for our honeymoon… her first back in service, and my very first cruise. Please do sprinkle some “good luck” dust on her when you arrive on the 12th, as we are making final plans to be on her the week after. What sort of things/tests are planned during the sea trials between the 14th and 19th? Where will the Splendor sail during that time? I know you’re not sailing with us…. but since you’ll be on her until the 19th, Is there anything special (surprise) you can slip into our Cabin (8270) for our honeymoon?
John,
I SO enjoy your blog and funny comments! You really are a gem! However, I get so angry every time I read the comments. it seems that EVERYONE is out to get something for free from you and are VERY demanding about it…it is driving me nuts. Why can’t people just go on their cruise, have a lovely time and just enjoy themselves without all the demands????
Keep doing the great job that you do and one day we hope to have you as a CD!!!
Love from Texas,
Michelle
Wow a couple of liars they are. Sad and wrong!!! You are a good man who did not deserve any of that. Have a great day!!!!
John,
I just want to say Thank you for all the work you do. You are constantly bashed on here and well, it bothers me. You have turned into a conceriege for thousands. If you want something from Carnival call you travel agent and if they cant do it then, be an adult and suck it up. People ask and ask of you and God forbid if you dont reply. On my first cruise you were the CD and I loved it, you were hilarious and were even tackled by a woman on stage during one of the shows. You kept us laughing and we really enjoyed ourselves. If you ever need an assistant to tell all the haters out there to “suck it” then Im your gal.
I always book knowing there is a 1:23 chance you will be the CD. It’s worked out twice so far.
I wish I could say I am constantly amazed at the rudeness of some, but seeing the questions you get every day I’m long past it.
John, I sometimes ask for an upgrade, the worst they can say is no. I never have that expectation, just hope that sometime I get upgraded to that secret penthouse we always hear about : ).
Fran from New York – No please, no thank you? Any other rude demands you can make of John? Come on, get some manners!
John / Mate
Several things you must keep in mind dealing with the public….
1. Never say you will do something without an appropriate disclaimer saying subject to review and Carnival Management consideration.
2. Do not try to mix the British and American langauges. This will always come back to you in the most unforgettible ways.
I posted a Facebook memo to you to plan and make certain the OSCARS will be shown on the Glory TVs on Feb 27th our first night after leaving port. Many people will be looking to see this.
Hope you have a good trip to the Carnival Splendor and the sea trials go well.
We will see you on the 26th in Miami with Eds Evil Krew group for the BC4 sailing he next day.
Poor John, sitting there in your underpants…getting yelled at. What a shame. Seriously, I feel for you. I do everything I can do these days not to fly domestic. I’ll leave it at that. Service has dwindled significantly.
Oh a positive note I am looking to book as many local cruises as I can:)
I would happily go on any cruise with you, anywhere. Honestly I don’t know how you find the time to do everything you do. Just being a CD is more than a fulltime job.
I don’t know what to say. I think you have more experience than most dealing with unhappy folks. Who knows why, but travel and vacation just seems to bring out the worst in people.
But, it is vacation after all. I remember waiting in a very long line with my then 5 yr old in Long Beach. I was tired and not happy. I was saying to myself I would never do it again. Then we finally got on the ship and were warmly greated at our room (ready earlier than expected), a fridge full of cold beverages, and some fat friendly English CD was on the PA and made me laugh. I remembered where I was and why
hopefully the rude folks find their zen moment in Key West and behave themselves. Honestly, how does yelling at you make things any better?
John,
I had intended to give you a really detailed review of our cruise last week on the Carnival Triumph, but I won’t. Suffice it to say that it was very good. The room was wonderful. The cabin steward was wonderful. The dining room staff was wonderful. All of the staff we encountered were friendly and smiled. There was no sewer smell. The cigarette smoke was only located in the casino and it wasn’t that bad. The food was delicious. And I made myself eat four warm chocolate melting cakes. Please realize that not all Carnival passengers are out to score an upgrade or to run the experience down. Thanks to all on Carnival Triumph!
John
Seriously Sea2See – this is a BLOG (hence why its called John Heald’s BLOG)! It is not a “customer service tool” as you say. What is a blog? Defination: A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts. Personal thoughts – not dining requests. This is his personal blog (as the top left disclaimer states) – not somewhere you can point out Johns “failures” for not doing your bidding. Seriously, if your dining “request” was that important, you should have called the dining department! Go to the department whose is responsible for your request!
Well Said – This is A Blog and Not a REquest line for your Song(wants).
JOHN Jobs well Done.
Dear Mr Peter Du Pree,
I believe that Carnival is much more accommodating to French speaking Canada than French Canadians are to ANY non-French speaking tourists. You are sailing out of the USA, there are an untold number of native languages. Surely you can’t expect everyone to bow down to your specific requests. As are many of you fellow French Canadians, you are very rude and demanding. Next time, take a Canadian cruise line, oh, there aren’t any, my bad.
John Vallow
Hmmm – yet another case of “if it ain’t ‘merkin, it ain’t good”.
Seriously, look at the demographics – Canada has 10% of the population of the US. Approximately 10% of cruise passengers are Canadians.
They serve British, Danish, and other country’s beers – but no Canadian beer.
He wasn’t asking for anything spectacular – just that a french copy of the programme be available.
Maybe if ‘merkins were friendlier, you wouldn’t have had your white house burnt by Canadians back in about 1812.
Maybe some people would actually like ‘merkins.
But that might be asking too much.
Nicely said John! Yes, I’m sure Carnival welcomes your business, but the fact is that you have come to a foreign country on your vacation. I have often traveled in Central America, and I never got offended if the restaurant didn’t have a menu in English, get over it!
Aaron
Now now John, they aren’t all bad! No idea if he’ll actually read it, but I adressed him as a fellow Canadian down below in these posts. We Canadians as pretty cool – and usually pretty polite and tolerant – and it drives me crazy when someone is out of line and makes us look bad! Grrr! If he couldn’t find a french program, chances are he was less than pleasant when he asked for it!
Isn’t it funny that the loudest, bully-ish complainers usually can’t substantiate their claims – especially when they’re asking for ridiculous compensation for their alleged troubles. I have found that in business and in social situations.
John, you’re a compassionate man. We’d all like to have you as our cruise director, but you can only be one place at a time. So I’ll settle for visiting with you hear and on FB.
Have a good evening, John.
Hi John!
You know, sometimes I think you’re a bit *too* helpful to the people who post here on the blog thingy. They’re beginning to think that if they post here, you’ll wave your magic wand thingy and give them whatever unreasonable request they ask for. I find it especially annoying when someone gets angry at you because you didn’t do something they could have done themselves if they’d thought about it. (For example, if Sea2see was truly bothered by the other people at their table, a minute of talking with the Maitre’d would have probably solved the issue.)
As for the couple asking for the 50% refund because you aren’t cruise director on their cruise – I’d suggest telling them to go *expletive deleted* themselves, but I suspect you’ll put it in nicer, more “comfortable” terms.
If they wanted to book a cruise with you as CD, they should have booked the blogger’s cruise.
Me, I’d love to be on a cruise with you as CD at some point, and might even book one with that in mind sometime (although, I honestly have to say at this point I’m more likely to book one where Jamie is scheduled to be CD – she’s prettier to look at. Sorry, John.
), but I’m not going to assume who the CD is until I get on board. Because I’ve already seen how things change quickly.
And who knows, I might be pleasantly surprised by the CD I end up with… (As I was with Jaime two weeks ago.
)
John,
I have to admit reading your blog and FB page makes me laugh. I truly need laughter in my life so thank you for helping me with that. Your comments about American’s trying to speak British is one of my flaws but an unconscious one. I grew up near English families who came to the US. My best friend being one of them. For years my kids would joke about how I changed when I would talk to Margaret on the phone. To clear this up she moved back to England 30 years ago. They can walk in to the house and know I am talking to her. They even yell Hello Margaret. I did it as a kid and do it still. I don’t notice it. I apologize for it. It cannot be changed. She gets a bit of an America going as well according to her kids.
As for upgrades, I am a retired travel agent. Yes we do retire if medical reasons make it necessary. Needless to say, I never told a passenger they are entitled to an upgrade especially after boarding. I would let them know that if they received an upgrade offer I would let them know but there is usually a charge for it. Then ask if that happens would they be interested. That this usually happens before they leave! I note their record.
Sorry to hear about your situation with the people who yelled. If they booked with a travel agent be certain she will get a verbal bashing as well. It will be her fault the problems happened and they want compensation for their pain and suffering. Mark my words!
Hello John,
The Canadian arse who doesn’t like Americans, I notice is French Canadian. They hate everybody.
Wow, John. I hope things get better. I wouldn’t be too worried about Dan either. We were on the Freedom a few weeks ago and he did an awesome job. I think that since the first Welcome Aboard show is over, he will do just fine. There’s a fantastic crew on the Freedom.
Hang in there, John. Take a deep breath and relax. You’re awesome.
Nancy
I hope they did read the blog – maybe it would have shamed them into showing up with a bouquet of flowers, a nice cigar, and a BIG apology – although … probably not. I hope you gave them a piece of your mind. Enjoy the Splendor and thanks again for checking on the wait team on Liberty for me … too bad it didn’t work out this time, but it won’t stop us from enjoying the cruise!
To Carl’s Mom:
I have a 6-yo with autism and he has been on 10 Carnival cruises. We even have an autism friends and family cruise every year, the next being in October out of Mobile. I assure you we have NEVER had a problem with Camp Carnival. The staff are well versed in our children’s needs. You can fill out a form ahead of time with accommodations you might need. For instance if your son is older and you don’t want him to be able to check himself out, or if you would prefer he be in a younger age group that is more self-contained on the ship. Carnival also is really good with dietary concerns and we have even brought our own chicken nuggets on board for the chef to prepare. If crowds and/or loud noises are a problem you can ask for someone to stay behind with him in the cabin during the lifeboat drill. Carnival is a wonderful cruise line for children with special needs, give them a chance to prove it to you
Now if they just had something special for platinum kids LOL
Good luck!
Ben’s Mom
Go get them John. They had no right to abuse you that way.
John,
Love the Blog, been reading since you started…..
I cannot get over the rudeness of people regarding table requests. I know you love to help people, but using this blog as a tool to substitute normal dining requests is getting out of control!!
I know it would be difficult, but I think you should discontinue these table and GIFT requests. Before you know it, you will be getting hundreds per week… and spending most of your time answering these demanding guests, instead of answering legitimate questions from past or future passengers!
Give yourself a break.. you deserve it!
Catrin
Business Class
Enjoyed your comments about folks who try for an upgrade which when you think of a plane’s empty seats these days , the percent available is almost zero.
Only way is by points, buying it a year ahead which we did to make our 10+ hours relaxing or a plane fairy really exists. Sometimes that happens on a night flight but control and decision rest with the agent at the gate.
These days Airllnes can surprise you by changing the aircraft on you. In my case I was looking forward to those lie down flat seats, instead one month out we found out , back to extra wide only. At least theAirlines airport lounges food and internet access helped.
Cheers //
John:
I can not find the words other than THANK YOU! It was our BEST cruise ever on the B2B Carnival Freedom (23 Jan – 6 Feb). It was so wonderful to get to meet you and even though you were not the CD, Ryan did a wonderful job and I’m sure Dan will be a success this week after the nerves settle down. I have to give the Captain a good word – I never in all my cruising found a Captain to be out and about with all the guest, he deserves a GOLDEN STAR! John, you were so wonderful to us, the dining room experience was so much better than the Dream and providing my parents with their gifts, so thoughful of you. Tell Jogi hello from all of us – it was so wonderful to be cruising with him again (since 2007 on the Carnival Liberty). Our dining staff was outstanding and we sure miss them. John, please don’t let those that people that have those bad attitudes affect the rest of your week. You work so hard for all the Carnival Cruisers and I know just a Thank You is not good enough, but that’s the best we can do for now.
Best Wishes to you and your trip to CA and on the Carnival Splendor!
Bill – Thelma – Rita and Ann
Carlynn, I too have a son with Asperger’s and Carnival always treats him like royalty!!! Just make sure that you let them know about Carl and what they need to watch for….things that might set him off, etc. and they will show him the time of his life….and you will have a wonderful time too!!
Well I certainly hope those people read this and know that they are SCUM. How very rude. You should throw them off the ship.
Wow – I will never understand the appalling behavior that some people show. Were they never taught manners by their parents? I could never fathom talking to someone in such a way. Booo on the grumps and hopefully they can learn how to enjoy their vacation without trying to get something for free.
John, I do not understand this couples complaint about you not being cd. First you are on the ship standing infront of them! Second you not being CD is actually a blessing as I would think you/them would have more acess to them as you are not so Tied up as the CD. I trully would be in pure blis to have you on our next cruise as CD but even more so to find you on the Ship as an observer would be even better!!!!!!!! Hint Hint John!!! Now a 50% refund???? Why??? Your there in front of them!!!! Also as you have added booking in July 2010 shows they didnt do it because of you if the Schedule wasnt out to December!!
P.S. Can you pull some strings to put Big Secy back on the Dream Next month?? Huh? ?? Darn can we get you instead??
Bg Fans as Allways,
Frank and Bridie
John, We are sailing the Carnival Liberty on 3/19/11 with extended family from the west (Idaho) and my wife and I are proud that the extended families first cruise will be with Carnival. We will be sailing on our 15th cruise with Carnival and consider it the best product on the market and hope that people like yourself and the many unseen crew members continue to strive to make Carnival the best cruise line on the seas.
Thank You Sir;
Robert D. Bailey Jr.
To John Seacrest,
As soon as you board the Dream, leave a dedication note for Butch, the CD.
Send birthday wishes to your girlfriend and on the first sea day during the Live
Morning Show, he will read your dedication note and will then send a bottle of champagne to your girlfriend’s cabin.
Hi John,
Wow. What on Earth posesses some of the people that write to you?? Reading some of these shameless requests and hearing about things like the screaming incident on the Freedom just bogle my mind. You must have a heart of gold John. I’d like to say Thanks for all those that don’t.
Well John, my next cruise, my 6th cruise next year will be an 8 day cruise on the Carnival Freedom February 11th to the 19th. It would have been the very first opportunity of meeting you but at the last minute they changed your time and I missed the chanced. But of course the next year was the time on the Carnival Valor when I met you you and then the following year we met again on the Carnival Dream. I’ve been very lucky to have had the chance to not only meet you but sit and talk with you. I’m greedy unfortunately, I would some day like to meet you again. Maybe on the Carnival Freedom? Have a great flight my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
John,
I’m glad that Dan’s show went well and I’m sure he will take your recommendations well.
You are so right about airline upgrades and I really can’t believe people ask on check in day for a different type of cabin. That’s crazy!
As for the people who cussed you out and basically lied, why am I not surprised.
Personally, I think they should be tarred and feathers and hung from the front of the ship.
As for the people who gripe and complain about you not answering them or accommodating their requests, GET A LIFE people. He’s not your beckon call chap! He spends a lot of time passing along requests and some get lost in the shuffle. If your seat mates were that terrible, you should have talked to the maitre d’ yourself. They would have moved you. Have some personal responsibility and realize you aren’t the only person on this earth. Also, asking for an anniversary gift after you’ve basically yelled at John your lucky I’m not the CD as you’d get a steaming pile of poo! You aren’t entitled to special treatment, John does a service as best he can and instead of being insulting why not try asking nicely.
Sign me disgusted with grumbling, whiny arsed people!
Hi John —
You are such a nice man, but sometimes you let people walk all over you. While this might be fine if they were naked Latvian women, it’s not ok when it’s people whose mommas never taught them to say “please” or “thank you”!
I think it would be fine if you just ignored anyone who didn’t display the basics of civilized behavior when asking for a favor.
Just my humble opinion,
Meg
You handle things so much better than most people but then that is why you are so good at your job. Sorry you have to listen and put up with this. I do love the fact that your computer system was able to show when he booked the cruise…I love that.
Sorry for the people who swore at you? You feel sorry for them? You are a better person than me! I would not hesitate to tell them exactly what I thought of them. They are trying to cheat Carnival out of money and they are treating you like some piece of property that they can tell what to do…NONSENSE I say!
John, Just to let you know that you don’t get an upgrade because you get one of the airline wheel chairs. I traveled with my mother in law a while back and the only thing that we recieve extra from the airline was the added attention that a person who needed extra help would get. But we had to request this before the flight. My mother in law is in her late 80′s and needed the help.
People need to think about things before and check what they want . We always check out were we are going to be on the ship and decide before we book. We also do this on the other trips that we take. People have become so self centered lately and its me first and only me, it really makes me sick.
I drove for a major compamy for 40 plus years and the last 10 the aditude changed on the road to get out of my way and I want everything for me. We need to go back to some of the old values that I grew up with and people of my age did also.
To Sea2see – your behavior is deplorable. If you got stuck at a table with a family and kids and they ruined your dinner nightly – shame on you. I am sure you ruined their’s as well. You could have spoken to the Maitre d and asked to be moved or you could have eaten elsewhere. I would never allow my table mates to ruin anything on my cruise – there are always alternatives. You do know they have customer service on the ship that can help with the room temperature – right?
John as usual your blog was funny and imformative. I can’t wait until you step onto Splendor and share your thoughts with us.
Martha
Hey See2Sea and Fran from New York:
News flash. It’s not John’s job to give you everything you demand. And another thing, he’s probably extremely busy and probably has a million messages and requests to look after. Just because you post a request, doesn’t mean it’s going to get answered! And another thing, try being a little nicer in the future and not act like a complete arse (which both of you came off that way!!)!!.
John, I’m sorry that you had to deal with that irate customer that screamed at you in a public area. Nobody deserves to be treated as such, and that includes you. And to the people that screamed at him, if you read this, and apparently you just might being that you are apparently blog readers, GO SCREW YOURSELVES!
I totally agree with what you said, and I would have said basically the same thing—without the ending, lol.
I think there are toooooooooo many demanding people that feel John is obligated to do things for them, when in fact, he does do them out of the goodness in his heart. He is a real people person and demanding things, instead of asking nicely with please and thank you, just shows how low class these people are.
Oh and one other thing, that is pretty hilarious that you called Roethlesberger Ben Doublecheeseburger!! I got a laugh out of that. It’s funny, cause I was watching the game last night with some friends and I said to them that it looks like Roethlesberger had put on weight and was looking a little chubby. So Doublecheeseburger is a fitting name!
John (no need to reply),
Doesn’t surprise me a bit by that couple who were yelling. As you discovered, a contrived complaint in hopes of getting 50% off of their cruise.
Sad human beings.
Marty
Hi John,
I really enjoy reading your blog and facebook comments. My husband and I will be sailing on the Elation Feb. 17. We are celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary. This is our sixth cruise, but the first one with NO Kids. We are in cabin 98E. Is there anyway you could send us a nice bottle of bubbly for celebrating? I look forward to your reply. Thanks, Pamela.
John, you are way too nice (not meant as a criticism as I seem to not be able to say “NO” either). But for people to demand money back, oh boy what is this world coming to? We have had you as our cruise director 3 times (11 total Carnival cruises under our belt) and had the pleasure of meeting you on the Carnival Dream and spoke with you about our special needs little girl Rachel who had passed away, and how we knew she’d want us to go on with our lives and enjoy cruising again. Anyway, my point is….you should have a box/area on your blog where people could put table requests, etc. and someone else (one of the beards, perhaps?) would be able to review these for you. The other thing is this….when we get on the ship (and BTW, just got off the Carnival Victory on Jan 30th), we go to our dining room and check out where our table is. If it isn’t a table for 2, or one we think we wouldn’t like, we get in line right then and there (usually maitre’d is taking requests) and ask for a change. You are so kind, so nice, so accomodating…but people also need to be responsible for themselves sometimes. If Carnival could somehow add an area to their website or your blog, that could help your workload. Just my humble opinion. Don’t want you to get burnt out and leave us!
PS Go Boston Celtics!!!
I am just surprised on how rude some people can be when they are spouting off in public! Some people need to have manners and be thankful for what they have!! A cruise is fun no matter who is on the ship! Some need a lesson and I hope you do not give them there 50% just for the name calling they gave you!!
-Chris Oeser Anchorage Alaska
John:
I am so sorry you have to take so much verbal and written abuse from so many rude people. You have done so much for so many, and, I feel you cannot control everything that people ask for. Why do people expect that everything is coming to them? I am glad that you answer these people like a gentleman, when they do not even deserve the right time.
Kindest regards from someone who appreciates all you do.
Marie
John,
That wonderful lady who sang our National Anthem last year was Jennifer Hudson. She got her start before American Idol as a singer on cruise ships!
JoyceG
John,
You truly have an amazing amount of patience. Perhaps a few moments in the cigar bar can help ease the tensions caused buy people like those louts you are currently dealing with.
Here’s wishing you a more relaxed evening and a stress free tomorrow.
Karen
Let me start by saying that I still call it the Purser’s Desk not Guest Services, I have a cabin steward not a stateroom attendant, and yes, crew members too!
The only times that I have received an upgrade, have been complete surprises. I book what I can afford and if I get upgraded, I am very happy. If I don’t, I am still happy because I am on vacation!
Here is one of my favorite videos, it cracks me up every time! Your coment about the mountain, reminded me of it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCz8he36hsk
Can’t wait to hear how it goes with those passengers!
OMG, that was hyssssssteeeerrrrrrical!! Thanks for sharing, Lissete.
Hi John, My husband and I have been on several cruises with you and have always thought you are the best there is! We sailed the Legend from Europe over to the USA. You had a morning show with a young man from Scotland and we laughed our butts off at the two of you every single morning. Anyway, what we would like to know is if there are any plans that you know of to do a Northern Europe itinerary; the Baltic capitals including St. Pertersburg. We seriously think that Carnival is the best value for your dollar….hands down….and would love to sail on Carnival if there was an itinerary becoming available in the next year or two. We thank you for any help that you can be to us. Keep up the good work. We hope to sail with you again sometime. In our opinion, you are the cruise director by which all others are judged. Dean and Karla Caho
Hi John!! (No need to respond – just pass it along please!)
I just wanted to let you know how impressed we are with the Special Needs desk team at Carnival. They respond so quick to questions and requests – they have truly set our minds at ease regarding several issues as we prepare to enjoy upcoming cruises.(Disabled daughter & medical needs) I’ll admit that initially we were hesitant to explain what we hoped to accomplish via email but they addressed concerns, reassured us and let us know what we could do and bring from home. That is customer service.
I just wanted to give them a shout out. I wasn’t sure what area they would fall under to let the proper beard know how much they are appreciated!
Thank you John – you’re terrific!!
Tina Goodwin & family
John, don’t let those people keep you down. You have done the right thing by going back to the Carnival Splendor. You do so much for so many on this blog thingy, and on FB. No one ( least of all you !) deserves to be cussed out in public.
Hi John, I doubt you’ll see this in time for our Feb 20 cruise on the newly refurbished Carnival Legend, but if I don’t post you for sure wont see it lol. My wife and I celebrated 25 years in November, and my brother and his wife are celebrating 25 years in Feburary. We have reservations at the Golden Fleece on Monday night Feburary 21 and I was hopeing you could send anniversary wishes our way this night. Like I said I realize this is short notice, I recently found your blog thingy, so if we are missed no hard feelings. Thanks for all you do
Tom Stone
Hi John,
Here we go again with those “complainers”. I don’t understand WHY you don’t have free time and you’re expected to email the beards, customer service, the Matre d etc to get reservations, special requests, no bratty-children-sitting-next-to-Mr+Mrs-Crotchety (list goes on). What other CD does these things? Heck! What guest would bend their arse over backwards, tolerate being sworn at, called at home, emailed on vacation, answer emails when deathly ill, post blogs on vacation AND not change their underpants or take their life saving medication in order to make people happy in their own jobs? I bet ANY one of these complainers would turn their phones and laptops off, and 5pm their done! You are the most dedicated man I have ever had the please to communicate with! Be safe and take care of YOU! I got into a trap much like you, and now have have permanently damaged the nerves in my back because I used up all of my B vitamins and iron and had to be hooked up to IV iron for 6 months 3 days a week. Now, complainers? Please! Think about YOUR work ethics! If you made reservations with CCL then call them and make your Chef table or table for 2 or free champagne requests! Have a heart! Before John has a heart attack! If you made your reservations with a travel agent, make THEM work for you! That’s what you’re paying for! Make your on shore excursion reservations and special requests on the website or call them! They’re very helpful
John, you are awesome, and we need you around for a very long time. Your girls need you more!
Karen Bauer (sacramento CA
Hi John,
Here we go again with those “complainers”. I don’t understand WHY you don’t have free time and you’re expected to email the beards, customer service, the Matre d etc to get reservations, special requests, no bratty-children-sitting-next-to-Mr+Mrs-Crotchety (list goes on). What other CD does these things? Heck! What guest would bend their arse over backwards, tolerate being sworn at, called at home, emailed on vacation, answer emails when deathly ill, post blogs on vacation AND not change their underpants or take their life saving medication in order to make people happy in their own jobs? I bet ANY one of these complainers would turn their phones and laptops off, and 5pm their done! You are the most dedicated man I have ever had the please to communicate with! Be safe and take care of YOU! I got into a trap much like you, and now have have permanently damaged the nerves in my back because I used up all of my B vitamins and iron and had to be hooked up to IV iron for 6 months 3 days a week. Now, I can barely lift my 14mo grandson, and must have help when he’s here and my hsb must drive me everywhere.
Now, complainers? Please! Think about YOUR work ethics! If you made reservations with CCL then call them and make your Chef table or table for 2 or free champagne requests! Have a heart! Before John has a heart attack! If you made your reservations with a travel agent, make THEM work for you! That’s what you’re paying for! Make your on shore excursion reservations and special requests on the website or call them! They’re very helpful
John, you are awesome, and we need you around for a very long time. Your girls need you more!
Karen Bauer (sacramento CA
I love big tables at dinner. The more the merrier. However, I don’t think I want Sea2See or Fran at my table. Judging by their posts on the blog, I just don’t think they’d be much fun! Plus, I’d venture to guess that they didn’t treat the waiters very nicely either and I just can’t tolerate that.
Agreed!! I love big tables…but only with fun people!
I cannot believe that some people would stoop that low (well yes I can – I work for a police dept and see it daily) –
I am glad you had the brains to have it looked up and put them in their place. They probably didnt even think you had access to that information. They probably read this blog and knowing your kind and overboard desire (excuse the pun) to help carnival’s guests – take advantage of you.
I hope they get NOTHING for attempting this. Except maybe a downgrade and thorough embarrassment when the two of you show them this error of booking!
Hope you emjoy your cruise! Take some time for yourself, you deserve it!
- Ashley
HERE IS HOPING TO CRUISING AGAIN IN JANUARY 2012!
John, thank you for all you do, even for people with no manners. I don’t know how they will learn to improve if you keep indulging them, but I admire you for it! Gary and I have booked the Carnival Inspiration for May 26, Memorial Day weekend. We don’t need anything from you, just time together! Someone will clean our room, someone else will clean the ship, someone will cook great food, and someone else will serve us. Good grief, what else could be needed?! Janet
Those french people that complained about the american decor. Please don’t listen to them. They are NOT Canadian they are French Canadian…..Beg difference. I know what John says about the French.
John,
It is amazing the way you deal with all the negativity that is thrown your way. Sometimes I wonder what people expect from a cruise. It is not going to be a Hallmark event. You always hope for that, but things do go wrong. Make the best of it and cherish the memories of the happy times that you share on the ship. As my husband often says, you never know when it will be your last one. Make the most of it!
John, you’re the best. Carnival, and their thousands upon thousands of guests, is darn lucky to have you. I’m continually amazed, both here and on CC, at how brazen some folks can be, but you handle all of them with grace. I hope to meet you on a cruise someday, so I can shake your hand and buy you a drink!
Hey john what is the point of the 110% price garuntee if you don’t honor it after the as the rep called it FINAL date ??
We are sailing on the Valor in June of this year. How do you find out who the CD is? I have been on several Carnival cruises but never knew who the CD was in advance. I know this seems like a silly question, but after reading the other comments how others knew in advance I was curious. Also, we are doing the Your Time Dining this cruise and was wondering how it works? Thanks in advance for any help!
John, I have been on 2 Carnival Cruises and several of your sister companies as well. All I can say is “God Bless”. How many people have your really thrown over the side? If I had do your job many many would be tossed in. I would never tell you to do anything, but you should go on the speaking circut on mastering patience. I read your blog and am amazed everyday at my fellow human beings rudiness. But hey, thanks for the great laughts. I leave in 2 days for the Spirit with our CD Stuuuuuuu. Had him last year and he was great and expect he will be again.
John
I have to say…it never ceases to amaze me the sense of entitlement people have. Do people not take into account the fact the being CD is MORE than a full time job! Then, he writes this bog, answers the questions, now does Facebook AND probably in the midst of See2sea’s requests…was in the midst of a FIRE AT SEA! So sorry the world did not stop for you! He was MUCH more needed dealing with the Splendor at the time and the time after it.
John…you know how much the people who are here to actually READ the blog for the blog and not just “popping by” to demand a table, etc. appreciate you! We enjoy the blog and are super appreciative of the requests you do honor.
I personally would have been over the moon to find you as a “bystander” on our Freedom cruise in April instead of CD. (not that I get that either, LOL). Would love to get to sit with you for a bit and chat about Kye!
Just keep doing what you’re doing! Oh, and thanks for doing it too!
Kerry
Hi John. I have cruised with Carnival 12 times & as a “CANADIAN” !!!!! I must point out “ENGLISH” is the Canadian language not French. If you had everything in another language then you must include all nations
I think Carnival does more than enough for all our nationalities as in Canada we are multi cultered… Keep up the good work Thank you Shirley Chandler Niagara Falls Ontario Canada
We do actually have two “official” languages – english and french, though I do agree that Carnival is more than capable of handling any and all nationalities that Canada can present to them! I’m a travel agent who has taken clients onboard including english, french, polish, ukranian, portuguese to name a few and Carnival was more than able to accomodate every single one of them! So if someone has a problem, I’m thinking it might just be in the way they asked for assistance!
John you are awesome, and your comments and blog thingy just make my day! I sure wish you were the CD on the Ecstasy this Monday
My daughter is coming with me last minute and I know she would love you too. Have a wonderful day!
I love that you researched this couple and that they booked before you knew you were going to be the CD! I wish I were there to see the look on their faces!
Get ‘em John! =) Let us know what happens!
John,
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….just say NO!
Ahhhh those Business Class upgrades! I’m not embarrassed at the fact that over 50% of my flights I get a bump-up to Business class but after spending what appears to be my entire life in an airplane or at an airport I guess traveling has its privileges. But many times I have offered my upgrade to a traveling US Serviceman. I get a better sense of pleasure out of that so if you see a Serviceman or woman sitting up in Business class I will guarantee you someone like me passed that little pleasure along. They deserve it better than me. By the way the flight crew treats you even better when you do that.
Dear John,
Were the Q&A questions/comments from today’s blog posted during a full moon? There seems to be a lot of hostile people whining about what they got or didn’t get!
It’s silly, really, because they could have done any number of things to resolve the situation themselves, including asking the maitre d’ for a new table assignment, following up with a call to guest services for a copy of the Fun Times in French, or requesting that someone from maintenance look at the a/c. But I guess that would have robbed them of the satisfaction of being poor helpless saps!
As far as Mr. & Mrs. Liar go, I suspected shenanigans when you first mentioned their gripes on Facebook. I mean, really? How much sense does it make to claim, “I booked this cruise because you are my favorite CD ever, and I thought you would be our CD now, but you’re not, you S.o.B!” Still, I sooooo wish I could be there when you call them out on it! Now THAT would be entertaining! LOL!
Keep up the great work, John!
Laura
Hello John! Well yes, I am guilty of asking about an upgrade. A couple of days before we left a new PVP (he is working for our old PVP so I guess someone got promoted?) called the house and asked if there was anything we needed before we left. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes and in the course of the conversation I did tell him that this was my birthday cruise and that I wasn’t really that attached to the cabin we were in, so if they needed to upgrade us to resell our cabin (and I did mention what a nice birthday gift that would make!), that would be okay by me! LOL! It has never dawned on me to hold up the check in line to ask though. I always figure if it doesn’t happen before then, it’s not going to happen! I figure an upgrade is a nice thing, but at the same time, I will at least get what I paid for so what’s the big deal? We always book a balcony cabin (3rd cruise) and got upgraded to extended the first time and a suite the second time. No upgrades this time, but we couldn’t have cared less! We were on a cruise! What more could you want?
Just to let you know I was only home a couple of days and received an email from Carnival inviting me to a website to take the survey thingy. This was with no prompting or whining on my part, they just emailed it to me and it was slick as could be! Carnival has made some great changes in their website in the past couple of years to really make booking your cruise easier! Oh and BTW, I called the Bon Voyage department before we left and was able to order a bottle of scotch for our cabin as well. Now, the selection was different than any list I have seen, but the person was very nice and patient telling me what they had and the prices and such. Why smuggle when I can just order it?! We enjoyed a nice scotch every evening on the balcony with no guilt feelings of smuggling and no problems from anyone!
As I sit here at my desk typing this instead of working I am thinking I would much rather be onboard ship right now!
Mike
Hi John
You sailed with us on the destiny in may 1998. It was our honeymoon. We are taking my daughter on her first cruise in feb. (carnival pride 27 to 6) It will be her 11th birthday. What do you suggest we do to make it special. We thought of decorating the room!! Just not sure what to do.
Daniela And Sal Valente
John,
I just got an e-mail from the Maitre D’ on the Elation confirming my and my (soon to be) wife’s chef’s table reservation. Thanks so much for doing this and so quickly too!
John,
I love reading the blog, but I skip through the comments/questions such as the ones posted by Fran and Sea2See . I am not sure why people think they are owed something or that all requests must be made if posted on the blog. You started doing a great thing for people, and frankly, I think too many people are taking advantage of it. I would rather read the funny stories, the reviews, and other news vs. reading who wants something special for their daughter’s 14th birthday or thinks they should have a private table for two by the window. The ships have over 3,000 people on them — if you want privacy, choose another vacation. If you want a cake for a birthday, there is an online order form to have one delivered to your cabin or to your dinner table!
Exactly! You can order a birthday cake (ahead of time or onboard in the formalities shop) for about $9! Well said!
John,
Great perspective. As a travel agent, we never tell our clients that they will get an upgrade. Funny how so many folks feel “entitled” to an upgrade even though they paid for the Fruit of the Looms.
Connie Sims
Sims Family Tours & Travel
To Seatosee: I think I am that undesirable. Sorry. My family and I LOVE to cruise, but not usually with sad pathetic people like you. I am truly sorry that you ruined our dining experience with your rude and snobbish behavior. I had to tell my kids every night that you are a prime example of how we DONT want them to act. Thank you for the learning tool.
I addressed the Sea2see post above, but forgot to mention Peter Du Pree’s “issues”. First off, I notice that there are a few comments from other posters – first about Canadians and then more specifically about French Canadians. I am a proud Canadian myself hailing from the beautiful east coast (well, its beautiful under all the snow!
). While I am of Scotish decent, I do have a few french canadian relatives who would be wagging their fingers at Mr Du Pree. You occassionally find a bad apple in the bag which leaves a smell on the rest. Please don’t let the rudeness of one taint your view of the rest. Most “francos” have a great sense of humour – unlike our friend Mr Du Pree here. That being said…
Mr Du Pree, you are entitled to your opinion of what is tacky (though you express little tact in stating your opinion!). But the rest of your post…(insert head shaking sigh here) you’re making us look bad, Man! While Carnival sails the world and welcomes every nationality that fact of the matter is that they are an American based company. And Americans are very proud of their country – just as we are of ours. I would EXPECT that they show that pride! We would!! Saying that the designers “don’t care about Canadians”…seriously? You fail to mention all the other nationalities that “they don’t care about”….does that mean you don’t care about them either? When was the last time that any of our hotels or resorts thought of the US for their designs? Pretty narrow minded to think that we should be considered in whatever a US company designs. As for the french programs, I’m not sure why this is an issue. Just last month, I went with a group (which included 6 french Canadians) onboard the liberty and they were readily offered the french version. Did you ask in the same manner that you state your opinions??!! That might have been the issue – not everyone speaks “ignorant”.
Canada is generally known as a pretty polite and tolerant country – please Mr Du Pree…don’t smear that image on us!
Hi John,
First off, i’m not asking for anything. In light of a lot of posts on CC about Carnival changing Platinum perks from cruises taken to days at sea i’m wondering what’s gonna happen to us cruisers that are working on Platinum with 7,8 or 9 cruises? We have our 8th booked for April the 9th booked for September our 10th as a New Years Eve cruise on the Miracle. I’m sure a lot of other people have the same question. Thanks for any info that can be provided. Also, thanks for the Ship on a stick and picture y’all provided us on our 50th anniversary aboard the Freedom b2b.
joe
joe & cheryl . . . my mom has been trying to contact y’all and when I bought her a new phone and was transferring the phone numbers, the only # I had on y’all is: 954-987-6119 . . . it won’t let me call in to it. I looked you up on a White Pages website and somehow found your post here! So if you could call or eMail me I will get my mom on the phone to Cheryl so they can chat. Thanks!
John
first of all it’s great to see you again. Rick & I started out cruisen
with Carnival back in 97. We came aboard the Imagination 10/4/97. You were the CD and Mark Price was one of your assistants. We were hooked. you see on the back of the Imagination mid cruise Rick got down on one knee and proposed to me and we started our life together.
We have continued to cruise as often as we could. For our 5th cruise and 10th anniversary We cruised the Conquest and got to catch up with Mark. Carnival has always gone out of it’s way to make us feel super, and we always get home and start planning the next cruise. We are booked back on the Conquest with my son and his familly 4/3/11. and know that this will be the vacation of a life time watching the grand kids on thier first cruise and enjoying all the fun.
John,
I just wanted to say that I just came across your blog the other day and I have been thoroughly enjoying it. I am so happy that you will be the CD on the Splendor when she pulls out of Long Beach this Sunday. This is a vacation we have been looking forward to for a long time and I have every confidence that it will be a wonderful trip and that you being our CD will only make it that much more enjoyable. You seem like someone with a big heart, that story with the soldier in the TGIF at the airport brought tears to my eyes. I really am looking forward to this cruise. Thank you for just being you and trying to deal with all the demands as best as you can, no one should expect more from you.
<3 Christine
Hello John, I have sent you couple of requests before. I know that you are very busy and may be my notes would have been misplaced. Nevertheless, I want to thank you for all the wonderful things you do on the ship. I am wondering if you would be at Freedom this August. Me and my daughter will be doing the 3rd cruise this August on Carnival freedom. I am looking forward for it.
I would really appreciate if you may would please give us a good seating in the dining room, as the seating we had last year at Victory was not at all good. We were in the Pacific dining room, and it was way near the windows, and we could not see the dancing waiters at all. I really enjoy them.
I hope if you kindly accommodate this for us. Also I have heard so many things about you, and watched you on You tube, and it is so interesting what you do.
Please kindly respond, and I am looking forward to your response.
we will be sailing for August 13th -21st.
Thank you, God bless you
Hello John,
I am new to your blog and i have seen all sorts of requests. I figured I would keep it simple. I would love to get a on board credit for my 2/27/11 Pride cruise. In the event that this is too short of a notice, you can try again on my 10/5/11 Miracle cruise. Thanks for all you do. You rock!!
HI Cindy,
Please send your request for the Chef’s table to “ASK JOHN” page.
Thank you,
Mary
Hi John
You asked us if we would let you know before we sail so I am posting this.
Would it be possible for you to ask the cruise director to come to our meet and greet please. We have Billie’s on the Legend booked for a cocktail party Oct 10th at 2: 30. I know he is really busy so if he can not no one will be upset.
We put our roll call on a web page as we had way to much information on it to keep posting it on CC. We are q very fun group. we have the highest pre cruise viewing and posts. I think the staff of Carnival will enjoy this group on the ship we plan to have a lot of fun.
thanks John and have a safe trip back in the metal tube coming to the USA