I have been thinking about luggage a lot these past 24 hours and let me explain why. First of all we had the comment in the blog the other day from a Platinum guest who asked in a very civil and polite way (civil and polite, my arse) about why we don’t take Platinum and Milestone luggage on the ships first and why it isn’t then sent to their cabins first? As I mentioned, we tag the bags by deck and that’s how they are currently brought onto the ships. But despite asking me with all the civility of a pissed off rattlesnake…….she has a point. And it’s a point I have since raised with the beards.
The other reason that I have been thinking about luggage is that we have had the worst cruise this 2011 European season for lost luggage with a total of 38 missing pieces that did not arrive in Barcelona as the guests expected. Since then we have recovered 11 pieces which still leaves 27 somewhere. They could be in Botswana, Birmingham, Baltimore or Bora sodding Bora…..but regardless there are some very unhappy guests here as you will read now.
From: MAGIC GUEST SERVICES
Sent: Thursday, June 30, 2011 9:27 AM
To: MAGIC CRUISE DIRECTOR; MAGIC MAITRE D; MAGIC HOTEL DIRECTOR
Cc: MAGIC GUEST SERVICES SUPERVISOR; MAGIC GUEST SERVICES MANAGER; MAGIC GUEST SERVICES;
Subject: Lost LuggageGood morning,
Mr ——— and family still have no luggage and are very upset. It was lost by Continental but he is blaming Carnival. He is now asking for John to make an announcement that tonight for elegant dinner he has stated he and his wife will be wearing cabin bathrobes and for John to explain why.
Thank you and best regards,
Guest Services Supervisor | Carnival Magic
Well that’s an interesting one isn’t it? First of all I have to say that to blame Carnival for the airline losing luggage is ridiculous. They did not book their flight with Carnival and we have done everything we can to retrieve it by working with the airline. We have given them amenity packets and T-shirts etc but from what I understand Mr______ has been very vocal and giving the guest services folks a really difficult time.
This, to me, is a another prime example of how the cruise industry has over the years opened these huge barn doors and said “Come on in Mr. and Mrs. Complainer and we will listen and give you free stuff even if what you are complaining about is total bollocks.” I mean, if I was staying at a hotel and the airline lost my luggage, would I be standing at the front desk of the Marriott demanding compensation and clean underpants? No. And if I did they would tell me to bugger off for sure.
Yet saying this I have huge sympathy for this chap and anyone whose luggage gets lost. I know, it’s happened to me three or four times during my travels. And I was really sympathetic when I spoke to the guest along with the guest services manager and I explained that I would not be making announcement that Mr. and Mrs. Samsonite would be wearing their bathrobes. And after 20 minutes of swearing and finger pointing he realised that this was just said out of desperation and out of anger for what had happened. So tonight, they will wear shorts and jeans or T-shirts and I promised them that I would explain that there will be a few dressed like this because they have no luggage. He still blames Carnival and when I asked why it was our fault he really could not give me an answer. Again, it’s just frustration and all of us who travel can totally understand.
Look, most of you hate to fly and you all know how much I enjoy it……..not…. I don’t like the idea that a metal pipe with wings that have been glued to it somehow supposed to get them from A to B. I don’t like the recycled air or the cramped seats or the food or the fake grin of the air crew as they demonstrate how to self inflate the life jacket and “That there is a whistle here is also a light, for attracting sharks,” and “Before using the escape chute, don’t forget to remove high heeled shoes, belts and other sharp objects, like red hot pieces of engine casing, that are embedded in your skull.”
But what I’m also scared of is the baggage reclaim hall. This isn’t because I don’t like crowds or trolleys or being surrounded by people who all smell bad after 12 hours breathing in other people’s farts. No, I’m scared my bag won’t turn up. Okay, so in fear terms it’s hardly up there with being in a Turkish prison or finding out writing on the blog and Facebook about new smoking rules at Carnival…………but it’s scary all the same. I don’t like it because I don’t understand how it works. Think about how you see your suitcase bump past a check in person and then don’t see it again until it is belched out of a conveyor monster at the other end.
Where does it go in between? The system of belts, drives and moving parts backstage at an airport must be more complicated than a sushi restaurant mated with a ski lift. Your bag somehow (usually) gets to the right place despite being dumped where there are thousands of near identical other bags being kicked and thrown onto a thousand near identical planes. I can’t even remember that my cabin key operates the lights here on the Carnival Magic, so thank God I’m not in charge. Really, it’s a wonder that more suitcases don’t go missing and that every time you’re at the airport you don’t pass someone screaming at an American Airlines high-visibility jacket-wearing customer services agent because her bags hasn’t turned up. What I don’t like either is that someone has chosen the place the luggage comes out onto as a carousel? It’s not a carousel, is it? The word carousel suggests something with up and down horses and music, with perhaps Mary Poppins hovering above with her umbrella. The thing at the airport is like the tongue of some great ugly creature that lives below the hall randomly spewing out luggage.
There has to be a better method of collecting luggage. Too many cases and the thing locks up and has to be restarted by a sweaty man. Too few and there is a sea of faces staring forlornly at the pair of escaped underpants going round and round that nobody will ever pick up.
I don’t know about you but every time this hellish machine grinds to a halt I want to vault onto the thing, climb down the hole and see what is going on. I don’t dare, though, for two reasons: a) I’d be taken to airport prison and shot; and b) because I’m scared of what I might find. I imagine I would find the baggage handlers opening random Samsonites and dressing up in bras or opening my suitcase, finding my underpants and calling in the Hazmat team.
The bottom line is that I feel sorry for anyone who has lost luggage. Carnival is responsible for this in the same way that seeing a photo of Judge Judy is responsible for me wanting some rumpy pumpy. Yet, each time it happens we help as best we can and that is something that just doesn’t happen at your local Marriotintercontinentalhyatt.
Time for some Q and A – off we go.
Diane Fairclough asked:
John,I am cruising with Carnival again on the Fantasy July 2nd… This cruise is special to me because it will only be me and my daughter going… Since it is just she and I going I have been trying to plan things that he will find interesting. One thing that we have always said we would like to do is have a “behind the scenes” tour of the ship. We would like to see the Bridge, the engine room, the fancy electronics, backstage at the shows, that kind of place .Can you give us this on a complimentary basis as my daughter Lucy has just discovered she has been accepted into North Carolina State University on a full scholarship. I have been a single parent for the last 11 years since my husband left us and so if we could do this it would mean a lot. Can you arrange this and make it a special cruise?
John says:
Hello Diane Fairclough,Thank you for writing and I am glad I saw this before you cruised this Friday. I am sure that you must be very proud of your daughter and what a wonderful way to celebrate. I unfortunately cannot give you the Behind the Fun tour for free. I do realise that as a single parent that money may be tight but this is something I am not in a position to do. I will however send you both something to help celebrate what I hope will be seven days of brilliant mother and daughter time.
Best wishes and my congratulations to your daughter.
John
Yolanda Marty asked:
Hi John,I would like to meet you to find out why do all of the cruise that are Caribbean, not have Spanish speaking working people. well it’s like this my brother, sisters and I are having my parents 50 anniversary, they want to renew their vows ,but you don’t have anyone that can speak Spanish to renew vows for them .why? First time cruisers that are concern.
John says:
Hello Yolanda Marty,I think I am right in saying that you wish for the marriage renewal of vows ceremony to be conducted in Spanish which we can definitely do. Many of our captains speak Spanish as the Italian and Spanish languages are very similar. So please allow us to organise this for you and you can do so through www.carnival.com/cms/fun/weddings/weddings.aspx. I am sure we can make it a very special time for this wonderful celebration. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
Best wishes,
John
Bill Haas asked:
Hello John,I was just on the May 22 sailing of the Magic and it was great. We have sailed several times with you and you do a great job. I heard that the Spirit was going to be sailing Australia do you have any information as of yet. Also is there any way I can combine my sailings with Carnival and Princess as I have sailed 13 times with Carnival and 1 time with Princess and I would love to be able to get the perks with Princess if I have to sail with them we both are hooked on Carnival
John says:
Hello Bill Hass,I am so glad you had fun here with us and thanks so much for those kind words. Unfortunately there is no linked loyalty program between the cruise lines within the Carnival Corporation & plc family. We looked at doing this but as each program was so different we decided it would not be possible. I love Princess and their product and I hope that we will see you again though Bill on one of our Carnival ships. Hope to see you again soon.
Best wishes,
John
Carolyn Reddin asked:
John,I will be on the Magic on Jan.1, 2012 and I was wondering if you will still be on it then. If so I would love to meet you.
John says:
Hello Carolyn Reddin,Unfortunately I will not be there. The CD will be James Charlton who along with the rest of the crew will make sure you have a brilliant time. I promise you will truly love this great ship and hopefully we will get to sail together one day soon.
Best wishes,
John
Adam Bostock asked:
John,You may remember me. I cruised on the May 10 Magic cruise. I came into one of your shows with a plate of pizza as I was hungry and sat with my mother on the front row. You made fun of me and gave a piece of my pizza to a child in the row behind and you called me Mr Domino. Everyone laughed and I felt embarrassed for the rest of the cruise. I should be able to eat pizza at the show without you making fun of me. I didn’t come back to the shows in case someone called Mr. Domino. I am very angry at you and told all the people I work with that they should not cruise with John Heald as he will make fun of you.
John says:
Hello Adam Bostock,I was so upset when I read this comment. I do remember you coming into the Marriage Show at 2:30 pm with a whole pizza on a tray and I do remember giving a slice to a small boy. I am so sorry if this embarrassed you and I hope this very public apology will show you how sincere I am about that. Once again, my apologies.
Best wishes.
John
Kezia and Rob asked:
Hi John,I am cruising with my husband and both of us weigh over 350 pounds. So we have some concerns.
1 — We have problems climbing stairs and have booked a cabin 1060 at the front end so all we have to do is to come down one deck to the pool area. On NCL they reserved a pool chairs for us as we have mobility problems and I would need Carnival to do the same. Obesity is recognized as a handicap and I trust Carnival will do the needful.
2 — We obviously cannot fit into the booths and have read that the Liberty has booths in the dining room so we will need to not be put there and put on a table instead. As we are big people a private table for 2 is what I suggest you give us.
We cruise on July 17. Booking # _____. Cabin 1060
John says:
Hello Kezia and Rob,We are looking forward to welcoming you on board the Carnival Liberty for your first ever Carnival cruise. While I am very sorry that we can’t reserve you or anyone deck chairs I have spoken to the maitre d and he has assured me that you will not be in a booth and that he will do his best to provide you with a table for two. I am sure that you will have a brilliant time and enjoy the service, fun, food and the entertainment.
Best wishes to you both
John
Ramani Costa asked:
Hi John.So I’ve been reading your responses regarding the 2012 deployment dates. And am I understanding correctly that Carnival only has one person who can make a schedule? Oh my goodness what if something really serious happens to that person? Why does RCI and others have their complete 2012 schedule out and Carnival doesn’t.
John says:
Hello Ramani Costa,I see that you posted this question on May 21 and since then hopefully you will have seen that we have posted other dates and itineraries. There are still some to tell you about and as soon as I know you will all know as well. I can’t say why other lines do what they do but I do know that we have an entire itinerary planning department who look at a variety of options and hopefully you will see that when we do release the remaining itineraries that the wait has been worth it. Thanks so much for your patience and understanding.
Best wishes.
John
Jeannette Schiller asked:
Hi John,Should we be scared? My husband, my son 15 years old and I are going for the first time in a cruise in July 10. We have reviewed the comment of “unlucky” since our stateroom 12037 is the closest one to the WaterWorks. This person states that the balcony will get full of water all the time and the bell and noise will be a nightmare. Do we have a reason to be scared? Your comments are very much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
My Ship: Carnival Magic
# of Guests: 3
Stateroom: 12037
John says:
Hello Jeanette Schiller,I am so happy you wrote so that I can say that yes, on the first cruise we had the PowerDrencher water bucket bell ringing every 10 minutes telling guests they were about to get soaked. But after a few days we all realised that this was annoying to everyone, especially those on the Serenity adults-only retreat which is right next to it. And so we disconnected the bell and it no longer rings. As for the cabin balcony, well I am afraid this is a bit of an urban legend. I asked the housekeeping manager and he told me that the only time that any balcony has water on it is after the automatic washer passes by. There is no water from the bucket and no excessive water on the balcony. So please don’t worry and I promise you will have a brilliant time on a ship that is getting brilliant reviews. I will see you here in a couple of weeks.
Best wishes to all.
John
Kev Maitland asked:
John,I did not get a comment card this time but wanted to tell you our cabin steward on our Freedom cruise was the best we have ever had. Her name was Cindy from the Philippines and she was just the nicest most friendliest person. Our kids loved her and so did we. I wanted to ask a question about her assistant Philbert. We gave Cindy an extra tip at the end of the cruise plus what was take on our sail and sign cards but afterwards we wondered if we were supposed to give something to Philbert. Can you tell me how this works? Did we forget to do this?
John says:
Hello Kev Maitland,Thanks so much for caring about our crew and no, you did everything correctly. The gratuities you leave the stateroom steward go all to him and/or her and then they are responsible for sharing this with their assistant. Thanks so much for thinking of Cindy and Philbert and I will make sure they see your words of praise. I hope you had fun and thanks once again.
Best wishes
John
Lissy asked:
Hi John,Thank you so much for reading my message…. After booking our cruise on the Magic on 17th July 11, I’ve been reading your blog daily and find it fantastic. It’s actually now turned into my alternative to my alarm snooze button on my mobile phone, instead of pressing snooze, I hit the email button and read away! Wakes me up and gives me a giggle…what better way to start the day! You have so many requests on here so I hope you don’t mind me asking… Whilst we are cruising, is there any chance you could please involve my little boy in something special? Maybe get him up on stage and do something funny to him?? His name is Rhanel and the cruise is a couple of weeks before his 9th birthday… I know your little Kye means the world to you so I hope you understand me wanting to do something special for the one little person who means the world to me…. Thank you once again, and please don’t worry if this isn’t possible… (Our cabins are 7298 and 7302)
John says:
Hello Lissy,How humbling to know that you read these silly musings first thing in the morning. I hope you continue to enjoy them and I am very much looking forward to seeing you and the family here on your Carnival Magic. Please can you leave me a note at the guest services desk when you board reminding me about Rhanel and I will be happy to have a bit of fun with him and send him something special? Thanks again for the kind words and I will see you all soon.
Best wishes,
John
That’s all for today.
Now at this point I usually say “I will be back with more tomorrow” but on this occasion I won’t be. That’s because I am going to ask for one of those twice yearly favours. I have been going since April 2 and what with the new ship, the blog and Facebook I need a few days downtime. So Carnival has graciously allowed me to have seven days leave. Now usually when I am home on vacation I blog and Facebook but for the next seven days I am not going to. There are two reasons. A) My eyes hurt from being on the computer every day for so many hours and they are demanding a rest. B) Heidi told me I had to otherwise once again something would be entering my chocolate starfish………in this case her shoe.
Seriously, though, I do need a rest and I truly appreciate you allowing me to do this and I will be back rejuvenated on July 10 ready to start again here from your Carnival Magic. Now even though I am not doing Facebook I will say that if there is any breaking news I will post on Facebook but won’t answer the 50-plus questions I do a day, until I return. There will though be a few guest blogs and I will leave those as a surprise. So thanks again for allowing me this break and I wish you all a very happy 4th of July as you celebrate your independence from the Great Britain. Shame really……..if we had won I would have gotten a decent cup of tea.
Now I was going to be leaving on July 2 which is Saturday but I am now leaving on July 1 which is ummmm……..tomorrow. I decided it was better for me to leave from Spain rather than France simply because there is less chance of my bottom coming into contact with a latex glove worn on the wrist of a man called Pierre who bends me over and says “Zo, yu fat Englishman, yu don’t like us French and say we smell bad”…….ha ha ha open up your derriere and say Viva La France.”
So I will leave from Palma de Majorca…….probably for the best, right? A lot of people think I am joking when I say I don’t like the French and they would be ummmm……wrong. While I know there are many lovely French people that don’t smell like Meatloaf’s undercarriage but I have had so many personal experiences in France that I think I have the right to say that it isn’t my favourite place on God’s green earth.
So, I will be flying home tomorrow from Spain leaving the fantastic Mr. James Charlton as cruise director for a week. I know he will do a brilliant job. One man who is very happy I am buggering off is Ketut, my cabin steward, who will have seven wonderful free days of non- smoldering underpants to pick up from my bathroom floor. That now becomes Heidi’s job.
I was thinking about how some five-star plus ships like Seabourn and the Queens Grill guests on Cunard have butlers…….proper butlers, and what a difficult job that must be. But who in their right mind would want to be a butler? What must it be like to be an invisible non-person lurking in the shadows outside Mrs. Snob’s cabin? No disrespect, I am sure there are many fine people who do the job for these cruise lines, but really, what child awakes one day and says: “When I grow up I want to squeeze toothpaste on to a rich man’s toothbrush and be bollocked for serving Mrs. Snob an egg that wasn’t cooked exactly right,” And if it’s hard being a butler to Mrs. Snob on a cruise ship what must it be like to be a butler to the Royal Family? Does the royal version of Ketut have to pick Prince Charles’ underpants off the floor? How boring must it be to spend your working day pushing a chair under his royal bottom or making sure his wife has enough hay.
So, thanks again for all your kind words and thoughts and comments and for your passionate responses. The blog has had 10,700,000 views so far and to every single one of you who has clicked on the blog, even the ones who despise me more than a bleeding hemorrhoid, I say thank you……..and will see you back here on the blog and on Facebook on July 10th.
Goodnight
Your friend,
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
I really don’t understand how a passenger can blame Carnival for lost luggage when they left it in the care of the airlines and the airlines lost it.
Now, I have never had luggage lost, but yet I still make sure I have one shirt, shorts, pants, tank top, and all undergarments and my night wear packed in my carry on bag. I would be prepared if my bag went missing. I do recall a former coworker who went to Trinidad for two weeks vacation and the airline lost her luggage. The airline couldn’t find it, they had no clue where it went and no traces of a unclaimed bag were logged. The airline and their insurance replaced their clothing and luggage. Thankfully she was a small sized woman and could find clothes just about anywhere…I would be in trouble, thus, I pack extras in case…
Take a break, Mate.. You deserve it.. Read you on the 10th..
Have a funtastic time with your family. Enjoy your vacation and thanks for keeping us posted with your blogs. We will miss you.
Have a great time away John.
Capt Chuck
Have a wonderful vacation
Have a brilliant, well deserved week off, John!
@ Kezia and ROB. SAYING PLEASE AND CAN YOU AND THANK YOU Does more that ” Obesity is recognized as a handicap…” and “.. is what I suggest you give us.”
BEING OBESITE DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO DEMAND THING.
Please make sure you do more walking as this will help you LOSE a few pounds.
SORRY if Being Blunt Offends you BUt get ovver it.
Agreed. Get tired of people being so rude and demanding. Were you not raised with manners? I’m amazed at how John just rolls with the punches and puts up with people demanding services and favors from him! I would never make fun of an obese person, but I must’ve missed the memo that obesity is considered a handicap. And I especially don’t like that it’s being used to demand special treatment and be rude!
The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful.
To Kezia and Rob,
Obesity is not a recognized disability. It is a condition which, in most cases, is brought on by an unhealthy addiction to food. I should know…I’m obese. I blame it on no one but myself, for not having the control or will power to know when to stop filling my face.
John, you may feel a need to exercise restraint in your responses (and when you don’t I love it!) but I don’t have to. Kezia and Rob, grow up and take responsibility for your actions and stop expecting the world to dance to your tune.
I’m glad i wasn’t the only one annoyed with these people. It made me cringe how rude they were.
I see obese people using the motorized wheelchairs at the grocery store all the time only because it’s hard for them to walk around–so annoying. PLEASE WALK INSTEAD OF RIDING…save the motorized wheelchairs for the truly handicapped!
I think if you are both over 350 pounds you absolutely have some “concerns”, but that doesn’t translate to everyone else having those same concerns … other than perhaps your pall bearers.
A recognized disability?? I guess a lack of discipline, self-control, and severe laziness can be a handicap?
I’ve been fighting severe hypothryoidism for years, and I can still manage to fit in restaurant booth. I would be embarrassed as hell to have to even ask for special treatment because my gigantic ass wouldn’t fit in a chair, much less demand it.
Is it me, or did they seem pretty proud to be so unhealthy?
Wow.
Enjoy John.
Hi John,
After reading your blog with lots of laughs I thought I would ask you the following:
Can I cruise on your Magic ship in Europe for free, and can you provide me with clothes because I don’t feel like packing any luggage (then it won’t get lost) and can I have a private table in the captain’s kitchen …I don’t want to eat with anyone else, and can I bring my own lawn chair due to the chair hogs. By the way, I am 13 and don’t want to bring my parents so I was wondering if you would watch out after me on the cruise. Plus I am a dancer and would like to perform on your stage for you guest. Don’t worry I am good and I am sure they would all like my ballet.
Plus, can I have 5 towel animals each night? I don’t like sleeping alone. Looking forward to your answer!
: ) Emily
*giggles*
Need a roomie? I especially like not having to pack!
Fantastic Emily!!! That was well said!!!
Love your response wish I had thought of it. If you get all the stuff I want some to.
Have a nice Vacation John!
Enjoy your vacation, you deserve it.
Spend lots of time with your precious girls, we’ll be here when you get back.
Hugs,
Di
John,
I am a graduate of Duke University so I need you to give me a free behind the scenes tour. It would mean a lot. Also I am rather large and will need a steward at my beck and call to push me around and also have seats reserved wherever I go. Oh and did I mention I really prefer to travel on Holland America so you will need to arrange this for my Holland America cruise. And I will need you to have all my Carnival, Princess, Cunard and HAL cruises combined so that I can reach super-uber status and get all the amenities.
Now seriously John, I really don’t need anything but I don’t know how you deal with all of this every day. Please enjoy your time away with Heidi and Kye. You deserve every minute of it.
Couldn’t have said it much better!
Oh come on! You can’t sit on the front row of a show with a whole pizza and expect that it won’t even get mentioned. Lighten up! Most people probably would have joked with you about it.
To Adam Bostock – GROW A PAIR! Geez! Most of us LOVE being picked out of the audience and teased a bit! That’s the joy of Carnival’s shows…audience participation and interaction. I suggest you see a counselor (spelled correctly) about your self-esteem issues!
To Kezia and Rob, “I suggest you” be “needful” of the words PLEASE and THANK YOU when you make requests of anyone of the Carnival staff. I’m pretty sure every one of the staff would work hard to make sure you were comfortable, but to DEMAND things is completely inappropriate, no matter what your issue is!
John – STOP READING THESE RESPONSES. YOU ARE ON VACATION
Seriously, you deserve the time off and anyone who begrudges you seven days away from the blog and facebook should attempt what you do so well.
I am in absolute awe of your ability to come up with some topic to blog on five days a week. I am usually lucky to get three blogs out a week.
Best to Heidi and Kye.
STILLmissingthesmokefreeparadise
John, I hope you have a WONDERFUL vacation, and don’t think about us for a minute. Devote yourself to your girls! They need & miss you terribly! Come back to us rested & refreshed!
dear john, i just had to respond to two of the posts above. first i pay $10.00 every time i book a flight with any airline thru american express, and in return they promise that if i don’t have my bags in 24 hours i get to spend $500.00 on clothes(it’s called insurance) the second thing that really got me is people asking for someone who speaks spanish, half the world speaks spanish including half the crew on any given ship. we were in greece and became the translators for everyone around us it just no biggie. get over it i just don’t know how you actually can get thru a day with some of the dumb(YES DUMB) THINGS PEOPLE SAY AND DO.. OH HEY HOW ABOUT A SHOW WHERE PEOPLE AACT OUT SOME OF THE THINGS YOU SEE ON EVERY CRUISE well from a platinum(18) cruises with carnival and a total of 35 on the brand i don’t mind my luggage getting to my room late SO WHAT
see ya john have a fun vacation with the loved ones
I’ll miss reading your daily posts, but wish you had longer than 1 week to recover and spend with family. It takes me a week just to realize I’m on vacation. Have a safe trip, and may you be blessed in all you do. I had a particularly difficult mother-in-law who detested me, and I have to smirk a bit at your remarks and ask God’s forgiveness because she was 100% European French. My beloved Cajun-French family and neighbors however, are a whole different branch on the tree, you’d adore them. May the wind be at your back, and as the Arabs say-may your farts smell sweet.
Enjoy your rest my friend. You justly deserve the rest for all the work you do the blog, Facebook, your regular duties as the CD of the Carnival Magic and especially the extra duties that you thrust upon yourself. Rest, rest and rest some more.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Have a wonderful vacation at home with your sweet girl’s
! You deserve every second!
Enjoy…a week is not nearly enough though…
John, enjoy your vacation. I too will be disconnecting tomorrow and sailing off on Carnival Glory on Saturday. I’ve set the “out of office assistant” on my e-mail so no one expects a response before the end of next week and similarly changed my automated voicemail response. It’s been a year since I took a full week off, and I’m looking forward to some time spent out on our balcony enjoying the rhythm of the seas. (Even of our oldest son would like a vacation from the rhythm of the seas at this point.
Have a great vacation,and enjoy your family!
Have a great time John…and our tea is great! You are just used to whatever that stuff Carvival serves that they call tea! uggggg! Yeccch! My mouth gets gritty just thinking about it!
Have a wonderful vacation .You deserve it but you really should pick up your own undies!I am sure Heidi would agree that putting on and taking off a HAZMAT suit can be such a pain in the backside.
You enjoy your vacation, I have read all the things your put through and you deserve a great vacation!!!
Hope you have a fantastic week with the girls! Enjoy your break!
Don’t forget to wish the Canadians Happy Canada Day – July 1st!!! Enjoy your days off!
Kezia and Bob:
Can you not use proper manners and a please and thank you? Being obese does not entitle you to reserved deck chairs. Just get there early and since you have “trouble” walking, you can just sit there all day so no one takes your spot.
To Mr. Domino:
How could you not expect to be picked on with a whole pizza in you hands? Especially in the front row of a show? Lighten up and have a good time. Trust me, after 49 CCL cruises, I have seen lots of people being picked on and most just take it for what it is.
John:
Have a great vacation and enjoy your time with your girls. Give my best to Heidi and hugs to Kye.
Gloria aka Sue
Enjoy your vacation!!
Have a great time with your beautiful girls. Will be looking forward to hearing about your cook-out and how you make out with your cat problem. Safe flight home. Give the girls my best wishes for a great week.
Have a wonderful break John. “Hi” to Heidi, Kye, Barney and little Harriet.
Thank you for all of my surprises on Carnival Triumph, you went a little overboard of course, but I loved it. It was a GREAT trip. Lots of laughs with Carolyn & Don, Tex & Charlie….love that ship
John, I live in Birmingham and their luggage is not, repeat NOT here. This is why we always fly with at least 2 changes of clothes and arrive the day before we set sail. I will say, you could be like HAL who will order you formal wear wqhen you show them the missing luggage form along with free, yes FREE laundry until your luggage arrives!
John,
Have a wonderful week with your family. You deserve it big time. And Adam, please take that stick out of your butt and try to enjoy life a little!
Kezia and Rob:
Obesity is not a disability. A few months ago, the EEOC extended a ruling giving the obese some more protections in the workplace.
This in no way gives you “carte blanche” to demand anything you want, especially in such a rude manner, on a cruise ship.
As the mother of a child with a real disability, I have a very hard time with the number of people today who “declare” every addiction, every weakness, every indulgence as a “disability”.
As the mother of a young man, who strives every day to do better, I have a huge problem with people who could do better and choose not to.
From the demanding tone of your note, you have bigger problems than obesity….and the word entitlement leaps to mind.
Linda
well said!
Well put Linda!
Well said Linda!!!!
Good job, John! I’m glad to see the Carnival is taking a stand and refusing to reward guests for behaving badly. An example was given tonight of the moron who somehow thinks Carnival is responsible for Continental losing their luggage.
No compensation for you, Mr Lost Luggage.
Enjoy your time with the girls, you deserve it!
Honestly, there were so many people I wanted to respond to today because of their stupidity but I’m going to be nice and just way have a wonderful week off with the girls!
I do not understand how airlines loosing there luggage is Carnivals fault. I pack enough in my carry on so that I can be ready for anything. I also wear layers on the airplane , you never know what the temp will be Although I would prob be at customer service asking for a discount of laundry or if there was something that could be done to help me as I had a little I could wear over again but would need to be cleaned. . And yes I would ask a hotel the same thing. Also all of those country have great clothing stores. I would have found one and gotten a few staple pieces. This is why I always carry at least 3 pairs of underwear for each of us in a carry on. You never know.
I agree with all of the comments about packing your carry on luggage. You should always be prepared with a swim suit, underwear, and an extra outfit. We even pack an outfit for dinner. My luggage has never been lost or delayed on a Carnival ship, but it has on an airline. I think it’s amazing how so many pieces of luggage are handled by Carnival and to the rooms in a timely manner. As a general rule, just be prepared and put extra luggage tags on your bags.
Yes John go and have a great time away from your work.
We all wish you safe travels and a great week off. And James will do great as the cruise director. He was doing a great job when we were on he ship, he needs to put on a little weight and get bigger underpants, but apart from that he will do well.
You need it. I don’t expect you to read this as you should now be safely tucked up in bed as the ship sails in to Palma.
I hope your bags are all packed and you are ready to head home to see you wonderful wife and cute daughter. If I see a blog posting or facebook entry from you then I will personally fly over there and rip your computer connection out of the wall. And Rita will come too to tell Heidi how lucky she is to see you in your thong
John,
Enjoy your much deserved vacation!!
Miss you already –but knowing how much a must needed break can do wonders for all—-watch those eyes—and take care of yourself-
Cheers
April—did that for myself today—-keeps me from going insane—– or am I too late -hahaha
John you will me missed. Hope you have a wonderful and relaxing vacation with your 2 very special girls.
Best wishes for a great vacation!
Hey John,
I am glad you are getting some well deserved rest. Some of the bad things you have faced on your recent cruises are not from the 99.9% of the rest of us who really enjoy our cruises and have a well deserved rest ourselves.
I have a suggestion: Since you are going to be taking that time off to recharge, why not allow some of the other CD’s to fill in for you for a few days at a time and give a glimpse of their ships instead of just hearing from the beards. Since there is consideration of other full time blogs, this may be a great way to transition to it.
I have a suggestion for fellow cruisers when it comes to tips. We tip at the very beginning of the cruise to the stateroom stewards when making our requests like for ice, clean out cooler for our stuff etc. I always preface it by mentioning that we know you will do a great job, this is just a little extra for the work you do. I also do this with our wait staff and assistants. Our service was so good that we tipped everyone again midway through the cruise and had my 6 y/o hand the envelopes to each person with a Thank You card. This was in addition to the automated tips at the end of the cruise. All of the people who worked with us received 3 separate tips as they really made our vacation special. I also had a print made from our camera of our waitress and her assistant and gave framed copies to each. Our wait staff was so touched as no one had ever done that for them before.
Can’t wait until the next cruise on the Splendor. Quickly getting to the platinum status.
what a great idea for the other CD to do test runs w/us. and what a thoughtful idea on the pictures (and extra tips)
Mr. Domino….
You don’t have to be carrying a pizza walking in and out of a show. You can even leave to go do potty and be called out.
You need to get out more if something like this embarrasses you. So much so you needed to call out attention to it again?
Enjoy your 15 minutes. Hope it was worth it.
Hey John:
I am so glad to hear you are really going to spend time with your family. As a parent the thing I preached to my kids is that when you have nothing else you always have family.
Now I have to speak my mind to the obese couple. Being Obese is not a handicap it is a disease. The majority of time brought on by an addiction. What really chaps my butt about this is, that my daughter who is really handicap with Muscular Dystrophy, we can never get handicap parking because of FATTY CAPS and OLDIE CAPS are parking in the handicap parking.
John … I could keep going on this subject but the funny thing is I don’t blame the people for the inconsiderate behavior, I blame the doctors who needlessly keep giving out the medical releases saying these people need handicap parking when they really need is exercise and a smaller plate and silverware when it comes to feeding time. And no I am not some skinny biotch that doesn’t know how good food can taste. Heck I eat 3 bitter and blanc at dinner time….
Again I want to send out lots of love and well wishes to the carnival staff for their endless hard work making their guest happy.
Terri
Hi John, As a frequent Carnival cruiser, I am wondering if I show up with a pizza (maybe several) at one of your shows will you promise to call ME Mr. Domino and will you give my pizza(s) out to the audience? I think it would be hilarious fun to have that level of interaction with you and get my 15 minutes of fame. Then I am sure I would bask in that short-lived glow of fame as I attain some level of notoriety with the other passengers. I would walk around the ship casting the “royal wave” as my fans shout out “Hey there, Mr. Domino”.
I promise not to sulk or whine. In fact, please feel free to conjure up whatever humorous pizza-related epithets that come to mind. My friends and family would be so jealous that I was able to engage in such a good-natured public interaction with you.
p.s. I hope your shore leave is relaxing and that you have some wonderful family time.
Enjoy your time with your girls John. Maybe while you are gone certain people could practice using words like please and thank you!!
Enjoy your trip home, enjoy your time with Heidi & Kye. If you don’t think of the blog thingy, FB & us all the better as we’ll be here when you get back. Safe travels!
Hey, Bostock, most people would consider it a badge of honor to be picked out of the crowd by John. I’ll bet you laugh at all of the other people who get laughed at. If you don’t like it, don’t go to the shows. Grow a pair!!!
John, have an awesome vacation with the girls! We’ll miss you!
John, Am I the only one who picked up your dig about Camilla? You are bad!
Have a great holiday.
I’ve been calling her a horse for years and recently we talked with a couple from the UK and they made the same comment. We thought it was funny.
I picked it up, too — made me snort out loud!
Note to self:
Do not drink & read the bloggy thingy!
I just spurt Diet Coke out of my nose after reading: “making sure his wife has enough hay.”
Safe travels & enjoy your much deserved break!
HAVE a great rest and enjoy your family and BBQ
John,
Have a wonderful vacation mate. You will be missed, this blog is a daily read for me. So bugger off. I do hope bugger off isn’t the same as f**k off. If so I apologize. Be well.
Tim..
John enjoy your vacation with the girls!!
I guess some people never learn the basics. Travel light and travel fast slowly. One carry on sized convertible back pack and a small day pack is all anyone needs to travel the world. Nothing gets stolen or lost and no waiting in long lines. To the fat people, handicapped, really? What a joke, eat better and get just a little exercise and then maybe you want be so rude, needy and demanding.
John – enjoy your time away. Remember the next time someone wants free clothes tell them they can always rent a tux!
Adam,
I too was on the May 10th sailing and was sitting in the very front row at that show. Trust me, no one even remembered you 5 minutes later. You were a momentary blip that was gone as fast as you appeared. Look at the fun that was had at Dick Little’s expense (his actual name for those of you not there…along with his wife Anita). What a great sport he was! Or the chronologically challenged couple that couldn’t get back on board on time to save their lives. Now they had a reason to be embarrassed when John announced every time they did manage to board before sailing for 12 days…
Wait a minute I was on the May 22nd sailing and Dick Little was on that Cruise too. He must have done back to back.
Barry,
you sure you were on the May 10th and not the May 22nd cruise as on the May 22nd cruise there was Dick Little and the Fennels that were the last ones on board most ports.
I am confused..
Dick Little and wife were on our cruise also, June 12th. As was the Venezulan woman traveling with her husband and boyfriend and the forever almost missing the ship couple…the trainers.
Still a good laugh.
What a strange coincidence! Dick and Anita Little were on our Splendor cruise when John was the CD. I wonder if there is a connection????? **wink** **wink**
Hi John– regarding the folks whose luggage became lost…due to the airline, not Carnival… I say to them quite simply that as a travel agent, I always encourage my clients to make sure they pack a couple of days of clothing, a bathing suit, some extra underwear (and of course jewelry/meds) in their carry on bags. Some smart people heed this advise and for those who do not, I have very little sympathy for them. If they want sympathy, they can look in the dictionary somewhere between s**t and Syphilis. In the case of most airlines, the DELTA acronym pretty well applies— Don’t Expect Luggage To Arrive…. be prepared in case it doesn’t people!! And do not blame the cruise lines. You wouldn’t smack the cat when the dog ate your shoe would you?! Ok, I feel better now. :0)
Dear Diane,
Congrats on your daughter’s scholarship. I can’t believe, though, that your first thought when hearing that her college fund is no longer needed, was “I wonder if Carnival is also providing handouts.” Between my wife and I, we have over $100,000 in student loan debt, but we make our payments and also will pay for our Behind the Fun tour.
As a single mother of a now 21 year old I received absolutely no support (money) as she was growing up–I raised her on my own without asking for a penny or favor from anyone. She and I have been on 3 cruises together and simply enjoyed the fact that we vacationed together. Even tho we didn’t have the extra funds to afford some of the “extras” Carnival had to offer, we still thoroughly enjoyed our vacation because we were together on a fabulous cruise. The world (and Carnival) does not owe us a thing. The nerve of people asking for freebies is very frustrating!
By the way…I am going on a cruise in September with my sister to celebrate earning my bachelors degree…am I entitled to a free room, free drinks and free excursions?? (snicker)
John, my husband Joe and I will be sailing on Oct 28 2011 on the Magic, will you be on the ship at that time?
We have sailed with you several time, and enjoy your wit.
Hi John, Please Reply
Hope you have some great time off with the girls!
Just back from another wonderful Carnival Cruise on the Carnival Triumph, June 18th sailing. This was my daughter’s graduation cruise. We had two cabins this trip with my son and I in one, and my daughter and her friend in the other. My daughter’s friend just graduated also, and this was her first cruise. It is so much fun to bring someone along who is taking their first cruise and watch the ‘wow’ factor all week. A great time was had by all!
For the sake of being brief I will not go into detail about every aspect of the cruise, and it is not really necessary, because I can say that everything was fantastic, and everyone, absolutely wonderful!
I would like to mention a few special people though.
Dianne Lamont, PVP; Always does a great job!
Serin, Room Steward 7216 and 7224; Took great care of us all week and always took the time to stop and visit!
Jean Pierre Weinand, Maitre D’ London Dining Room; Great job and we enjoyed his singing!
Veronica Pilar, Waitress London Dining Room Table 149; Great servive every night and always made us feel like family!
Cruise Director Tex and his Assistant Charlie; Lots of fun and we had a nice visit with Tex!
Master Antonio Marchetti; Our thanks for a safe voyage. I appreciate his good judgement and decision making in not docking the ship in Rotan when high winds would have made doing so unsafe!
Our thanks to Carnival and all your wonderful people for making these great trips possible, and thanks to you John for all you do!
Doug Robertson
Drew, Roni and Leah
John…could you please elaborate for those of us who are already Milestone what kind of change to expect from the loyalty program next year…I hear there will be changes and it will be much better…Thanks
Since we’ve been waiting FOREVER to hear about the promised upgrades to the loyalty program, I’m no longer holding my breath waiting (and we become milestone next month)
Hi John!
I hope you’re having a great time with your family! Anyway, my husband and I will be on our first cruise onboard Carnival Splendor this coming July 10th (1211) We will be celebrating our anniversary (supposed to be last week of May, but for him country comes first before family, not complaining though! So proud of him even!) and my birthday (July 12). This cruise will be bittersweet because my husband will be deployed again for 7 months few weeks after our cruise and not to mention we won’t be bringing along our little boy with us. My husband begged me to do this before he leaves (he’s a sailor… I guess he feels like he needed to board a fun ship before he goes on a boring one. Lol) Anyway, if it’s not too much to ask, I was wondering if you can request for us a table for two and send a little something for him as well. Thank you so much and more power!
God bless you and your family,
Sheila D.
Hi John,
I was just wondering if you would be on the June 27, 2012 trip on the new Breeze? We are about to book our honeymoon on that ship, and it seems so perfect!
John, I am totally outside the great bloggers’ site that existed until March 2011. I can no longer read all the comments e.g. if there are 85 I can only access 63, same with Ask John etc., it is so frustrating & wholly unacceptable.
Add to that the fact I have been quoted $5323 for a BtoB cruise, in a standard balcony stateroom, in March 2012 starting with BC5, when it cost me $3500 in 2011, I think Carnival has become anti-British & even more anti solo cruiser, I want the Beards to know my sentiments. Give me a part-time job promoting Carnival writing about my great experiences on 21 cruises in the Caribbean when I have learned so much about the islands & CCL’s multinational crew, i will drum up more passenger loyalty in the UK than will ever happen under Carnival’s current, non existent UK policy for enabling UK cruisers easy access to ports of call, particularly in Europe.
I know that inflation is running high, but to ask me to pay 50% more for a BtoB in 2012 than in 2011 smacks of utter indecency & total disregard of loyalty from platinum guests. Having big second thoughts about BC5, I cannot accept these huge inflation busting cruise costs coupled with the ridiculous increases in UK air passenger duties. Solo travelling has never been cheap or easy, now it is a total nightmare!
I shall see you on Magic late August but I think my days on Carnival are numbered because I cannot get a room booking on Breeze to my liking 14 months ahead due to US cruisers getting better deals than I can ever obtain & securing them so far ahead at much better deals.
Come on Carnival, your US guests contribute far less to your coffers than those of us who live elsewhere & don’t have the luxury of air transfers etc. Are you going to deny me my Milestone cruiser status by charging me huge surcharges on top of well above inflation rises?
I would appreciate a quick response as I need to book flights to & from Galveston asap. Thank you.
Grizel
Hi John, We will be cruising with you on 5TH August on Magic. WEe booked with Carnival direct, our friends are in the next cabin, we are 1361 and they are 1363. We have requested dinning together an a table for 8. Can you advise on whom I should contact to see if this request has been done? Mike
oh I am late again! Seems the story of my life! I hope you have(or had) a lovely holiday with your girls!
I must tell you though I am a bit worried by your blog. I hope when I have the opportunity to cruise on Carnival Magic I can figure out how to work the lights. If a sailor of your experience has trouble, oh dear. Oh well, if I have nothing worse to worry about, guess my day is going pretty well! Thanks for all the laughs and great blogs! See you on the 10th!
Dear John,
We (8 cabins of family) are currently booked on the Magic sailing November 27th out of Galveston. This will be my 10th sailing on Carnival. I LOVE Carnival!
Any way, my question or request is burying of ashes at sea. This year my 88 year old father passed away. He always wanted to go on a “REAL cruise”. Dad served faithfully for nearly 25 active years for the US Navy and another handful for the Reserve after his Naval retirement. He loved the sea. We would like to know how to go about burying his ashes at sea. Can you help us?
Thanks,
Barb
What are you thinking by spending 2 days at Cabo on the Splendor, what a wast. I have 17 people booked in Dec. 3 and 14 for jAN 29,2012 but will cancel all if it includes 2 days at Cabo. There is 2 other options that we have been on Manzello, and Istapa that are great.
Hi John! I have been reading all the comments and want you to know we have traveled on carnival 8 times (our 9th coming up in October 2011) and we have never had a bad experience. We read all the negative feedback and don’t understand. Carnival always makes sure we have a great time and we do! I am excited to hear that platinum members may get priority luggage as we plan our 10th cruise in 2012. We were not expecting priority luggage, but that certainly be a great perk. We plan a back to back cruise next year and I am interested to hear your feedback on a back to back cruise. I will also be interested to hear if luggage will be priority for platinum members. Carnival is the greatest!
Denise from Florida
I did not usually respond to things on line, but I AM SO FED UP WITH WHAT I READ ON THIS, AND MANY OTHER POSTS that I have begun to speak out about ridiculas complaining! At least I feel better; though I doubt most of you have sense enough even entertain the thought that YOU ARE OBNOXIOUS!
Platinum Cruisers; you have complained about being seated at dinner with ‘first timers’ to your luggage not receiving ‘priority’. Why do you feel so ‘entitled’? And so ‘persecuted’ to be seated with those awful, boring ‘first timers’? Get over yourselves…you are likely older and have had more years, time to travel..as well as $$. That does NOT make you any more special, nor more in need of your luggage than anyone else who has paid their $$ to cruise, JUST LIKE YOU! And perhaps you need reminding that YOU were once a ‘first timer’and ‘tolerated’ by more frequent cruisers. What you are asking is additional strain to be put on folks who work so very hard in the cruiseline industry as it it, and receive little to no appreciation!
Can’t you just enjoy your cruise and STOP YOU CONSTANT DEMANDS AND WHINING!!!??? Take a look around; there are millions who would be thrilled to enjoy a cruise, but who will never have that awesome opportunity due to their circumstances!
YOU MAY THINK OF YOURSELF AS ‘ENTITLED’ but I assure you, the rest of us paying customers care less about your entitlement mentality!
P S I love dining with ‘first timers’ as it reminds me of my first cruise and how thrilled I was to be aboard…something, in my younger days, I never thought I’d have the opportunity to enjoy! But God has blessed us with the chance to cruise several times, and should we cruise again, I will be so grateful and appreciate to have that experience, I assure you, I WON’T BE WHINING ABOUT MY ‘PLATINUM STATUS’! HUMILITY REALLY IS A VIRTUE; TRY IT!