With everything that has been going on since I have returned from my week at home, I haven’t had time to tell you about the cats. Now for new readers, who may not know what I am talking about, may I suggest you read this to find out more.
Well you were all really helpful because when I got home I went to our local garden centre. From there I bought six plants as recommended by some of you. I was lucky, apparently. A delivery had just come in and they always sell out instantly. Cats find their stench so disgusting, it’s almost painful to them, the bearded vegetable loving garden center man said. Good I thought, because the smell of their turds doesn’t exactly make me break out into a rendition of “Oh What A Beautiful Morning” when I open my front door. And what do you know? When I planted them, there seemed to be an immediate pussy exodus. So thanks to all of you for your help. Heidi still wants a dog though………bugger.
Anyway, after I bought the Stinkus Buggerofcatius thingies, I needed to plant them. Ummmmm……………OK. So I called a gardener. Yes, yes I know, I am a lazy sod and employing the services of a gardener makes me sound very posh but really it isn’t.
His name is Stuart. He is a wonderful man, charming and kind and a brilliant gardener despite being a retired bank manager and a vegetabalist. After spending years behind a desk, he now spends his time stroking his beard and doing other people’s gardens/mine included. Our garden doesn’t need much because it’s basically grass and a few plant thingies. But I look at it like this. Plants and stuff seemed to survive all right for hundreds of years before we started messing about with sit on lawn mowers and leaf blowers and stupid water features of cherubs having a piss. This maybe a British thing but people’s gardens are something families spend a fortune on and some where I live are primped and trimmed like a Latvian Lap Dancer.
Heidi is the problem though. She’s Dutch and that means she loves plants and flowers and bulbs and clogs and planting bulbs in clogs. Therefore, she would be furious if I let the sun flowers grow above Gerry Cahill height. Which is why we pay Stuart to take care of all that. But whenever I tell people this, they react as if I’ve said that I use the shower curtain to wipe my arse on. Oh, God, they cry! That’s awful. You’re missing out on a sense of achievement, fresh air, soil running through your fingers. Look, the only thing running through your fingers in my garden would be a mountain of cat turds. So getting someone else to vomit in the rose bushes is money well sodding spent. Stuart comes every two weeks stays two hours, everything looks pretty and we give him £10 an hour ($18) which is a small price to pay, I think. I come home from a long hard contract on the ship and the last thing I want to do is spend time on my knees in the garden. I tried that years ago and found it as therapeutic as having my testicles placed in a vice. I’ve got nothing against nature, I’d just rather watch TV. Yes, gardens are lovely. But never more so than when you’re lying back with a Diet Coke watching someone else trim your bush.
Anyway, so far Heidi reports the cats have stayed away and are now probably crapping on some other unfortunate bugger’s doorstep and thanks to all of you for your help with this. You can expect a blog from Heidi soon, no doubt asking for your advice on how to make me remember to put the toilet seat up. Is there a plant for that as well?
Time for today’s Q and A – here we go
Brandon asked:
John,First let me start by saying I love reading our blog and loved having you as our cruise director on my wife and my honeymoon cruise on the Carnival Conquest in April of last year.
I wanted to ask you about Carnival’s beverage policy. Specifically, why 18 year olds are not allowed to drink on board? They can party it up and drink all they want when at port but the second they walk back across that gangway they are treated like a kid again.
While I am 25 years old and this has no direct effect on me, I was just curious why Carnival doesn’t have a rule similar to those of other cruise lines where 18 and ups can drink beer and wine only. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
Brandon Campbell
John says:
Hello Brandon Campbell,Thanks for the kind words and I hope you have some wonderful memories of your honeymoon cruise. The legal drinking age in most American states is 21 and Carnival feels that we need to adhere to this law as well. Now, I had no idea that other cruise lines had an 18 year old drinking age limit but, responsibly, we feel that 21 is the right age. I hope we cruise again very soon.
Best wishes to you both.
John
John Chapter 1 asked:
John,I`m booked for my first cruise with your company and me and my wife and our 2 children will be on the Dream (cabin number is ****) on July 30. I was told I should come here to get a PRIVATE table not with anyone else because we follow strict religious protocols before and during meals including the singing of grace and personal testimony during the meal. I also need the waiters to understand NOT to approach the table and disturb us during this important time. I am sure this may seem a strange request to you but to us it is of high importance. We would also prefer a female waiter.
John says:
Hello John Chapter 1,Thank you for getting in touch and I have asked the maitre d’ to make sure that you get a private table as requested. I cannot promise that we can provide a female server as rotations and service sections are pretty much set but we will indeed try our best. I wish you all a wonderful cruise.
Best wishes,
John
Barbara Thomas asked:
John,We just returned on June 12 from the Carnival Magic. What a marvelous vacation it was. Thank you for the kind wishes for my group and the thoughtful gifts. I wanted to take a moment to tell you and the beards about our wonderful dining room staff. First, Ken was the BEST maitre d’ I have sailed with, not just on my 10 cruises with Carnival, but on any cruises. Secondly, our team of Edis, Srdjan, and Gerado were excellent. Their attention to detail, pleasurable demeanor and unending efforts to ensure our dining experience was enjoyable went above and beyond our expectations. I wanted to take a moment to let you know that they are to be commended on a job well done!!!
John says:
Hello Barbara Thomas,Thanks so much for taking the time to write this and I know those mentioned will be thrilled. Ken is remarkable and the experience he gives our guests in the dining room is simply the best. I hope you had a wonderful time and hope you do so again with us soon.
Best wishes,
John
Suze asked:
Good Evening John!First, I would like to thank you for your blog. I’ve subscribed for a few weeks and get a huge laugh out of it every time. I know everyone is discussing the smoking issue, but I’ve been wanting to ask this question, and I do so with some trepidation!!
We have sailed on the Pride three times, and are sailing again this August and again in January ’12. (We love the ship!!)
I am absolutely crazy about one of the desserts the chef makes for the buffet. It’s called “Indian Milk”. I have looked online to try to find the recipe to no avail.
I was wondering if the chef would be willing to share the recipe, as I am a hobby cook. Please use your judgement before approaching the chef, because some of them will only share a recipe after an agreement has been made that they can kill the recipient. Said recipient does not wish to be part of the soup of the day, which is why I am tip-toeing around asking for this!
Thank you so much for whatever assistance you can offer. If you think it’s a very very bad idea, then let’s drop the subject as I don’t want to put you in harm’s way either! No one wants to be confronted by an angry chef holding a cleaver!!
Thank you again!!
Suze!
John says:
Hello Suze,I am so glad that you have found the blog and I hope it gives you much enjoyment and some useful information. I loved the way you asked for the recipe and please don’t worry as our chefs are more than happy to share. A few weeks ago, I actually published this as others were asking and here is the link to that blog. Just click on that and you will find it and I hope you enjoy cooking it at home. Please let me know if there is anything else you need and welcome to the blog thingy.
Best wishes,
John
Wendy Boroski asked:
Hi John,We just returned from our Glory cruise on 06/05/11 and loved it. I just wanted to be sure that our waitstaff in the Golden dining room for YTD gets a nod. Our Team was Sujantana, Sudika and Ketut. They were absolutely wonderful and went out of their way in making us feel welcome. Hope you can pass this on to the powers that be.
Thanks,
Wendy
John says:
Hello Wendy Boroski,That’s two fantastic reviews for dining staff in today’s blog and that’s great to read. I know that when those mentioned see what you have written that, they will be so happy and thank you therefore for taking the time to do so. Thanks once again and hope we see you again soon.
Best wishes,
John
Marie asked:
Hi John!This is my second time writing to you, so hopefully my question will be answered. If not, well I’ll keep trying up until the day I cruise
.
For starters, I just want to point out that although I enjoy reading your blog, I get so angry and irritated at reading some of the most pathetic, unappreciative, RUDE comments from people demanding they get this or that, and then they are even more rude to you if they don’t get what they want. I just hope this is published so people realize how RUDE and self centered they can truly be, and to work on their attitude. The world isn’t made up with a bunch of “give-me’s.”Anyways, I just wanted to get that off my chest.
My question is that I read somewhere on a board or whatnot that the cruise sometimes does an adult themed treasure hunt or something like that. Is this true? If so, it sounds like so much fun. Will this be ship wide? My BF and I sail on the Dream 8/20. Will this be offered on this sailing? Hope so!
John says:
Hello Marie,I am so sorry I missed your question the first time around and yes, we do indeed do on some ships an event called In The Bag or as some call it Quest which I think we stole from RCI……oops. Anyway, this is a brilliantly fun event that involves bringing a bag of everyday ” stuff” to the lounge and well…………you will see from there. I hope you get to experience this when you are on your Carnival Dream. I had a quick look at their Capers …..bugger……Fun Times and they do that there. Thanks so much for being so kind and thoughtful and if you need anything before you cruise, please do let me know.
Best wishes to you and your BF (is that best friend or boy friend )?
John
Chantal Boucher asked:
Hi John,I’m not here to debate on who’s right and who’s wrong, I would just like to convey how the new smoking policy has affected my view of Carnival and how it makes me feel as smoker (and a very courteous one at that). And to do this, I’d like to tell you a little story: I once left everything behind for a country (which shall remain nameless, as it would probably just divert the discussion), far, far away, to study language for a year. To my surprise, after a few days, I discovered that the people of this country didn’t like foreigners, subjecting me and my fellow students to everyday xenophobia and to different extents, racism. Now, coming from a very liberal and multicultural society, it was very hard for me to comprehend their reactions towards us. After a few months (4, in fact), I had to come to the realization that “they didn’t want us – the foreigners – here”. Mind you, I was definitely not the only foreigner feeling this way. I figured that if I was to feel unwelcomed for the rest of my stay, there was no reason for me to remain and spend all my money there. From that point, I booked the next flight out and was finally home after 30 hours of traveling.
This is exactly how Carnival’s (note here I didn’t use the term
“your”) new smoking policy makes me feel: unwelcomed. If I am to be treated as a second class individual, if while being on vacation I need to constantly fear I will offend someone because I light one in a permitted area, why should I continue to give Carnival my business?You (in the general sense, not you, you
can try and sugar coat this with a gazillion marketing spins, the fact and the matter remains the same: I am no longer welcome to partake in the fun.
I have a cruise booked on the Miracle next August. I will not cancel because it’s already paid in full and because I promised my mother I would take her and I would never want to let her down. But it will be my last. There are many other options besides cruising to go and discover the world, where people are more than happy to see you. This is where I will be going.
Oh and by the way, I’m French… Canadian.
John says:
Hello Chantal Boucher,First of all, let me be very clear when I say opinions are most welcome here. They may not be ones we all agree with but they are welcome and without opinions and a good debate, the world would be an utterly boring place to live…………like France. Seriously, though, I hope that I didn’t come across as someone who was putting a “spin” on this. As a frequent (well, I used to be) cigar smoker myself, it would have been ridiculous for me not to have said that I was disappointed by the loss of the cigar bars. But this is the way of the world, isn’t it? Wherever you go, on land or at sea, the smoking ban is there and is growing each and every day. Some say that is merely part of a larger process which sees schools ban kids from running about in the school yard in case they hurt themselves. Watch your step, don’t put salt on your food, mind your head, high visibility jackets everywhere. And of course, when scientists tell us that something is potentially harmful, the lawyers prick up their ears and pretty soon the thing, whatever it is, is banned and will eventually bugger off never to be seen again. It’s weird to see smokers standing outside office buildings, huddled in groups like bad dogs being forced to smoke outside and pretty much that privilege will be gone as well. This will force many smokers to give up which some say is a brilliant thing. But hold on, why stop at smoking? I get thoroughly pissed off when I step on a piece of discarded chewing gum. So let’s ban chewing gum in public and on the ships.
But then there is the other side. Going to the Internet cafe on the Destiny, Conquest and Splendor class ships will be a lot more pleasant, and guests won’t have to wash cigarette smoke out of their clothes and hair. Asthma sufferers will finally be able to check their e-mails without fear of an attack. It would have been easy for Carnival to have banned smoking indoors altogether. But they didn’t because they realise that unlike most hotels and restaurants and resorts, that smokers still have rights too. That’s why there is on every ship a designated indoor smoking lounge with either live music or a DJ, bar service and entertainment. Plus, each ship will be upgrading their outside smoking areas as well to make it as comfortable as possible, just as we have here on the Carnival Magic.
Your story was intriguing and I am sorry that you had to endure that awful welcome in the country that you visited. However, to compare that with the warm, friendly welcome you will receive on the Carnival Miracle is simply not true. The crew will serve you and entertain you and welcome you in the friendliest and fun way as they always have done. And when you have finished a great meal and seen a great show, you can go to the lounge on Promenade deck forward and listen and dance to the four piece band and enjoy a well earned cigarette. And if you have a balcony, you can smoke there as you wish as well. I know change is hard, I am no longer allowed to smoke in guest areas and I hate it, I hate it with a passion and haven’t had a cigar since this new law came into effect. No spin here, just facts, Chantal, and the promise that you and all smokers and non smokers are welcome on our ships. Have a brilliant cruise.
Best wishes,
John
C.H.H. asked:
John,Off I go to RCCL where I won’t be treated like I have HIV because I smoke. You make me angry enough to want to reach down my computer and punch that big ugly fat face Mr. Ambassador. You say you represent us cruisers but then you announce this smoking ban on your ships so thanks for nothing and adiós cabeza mierda
John says:
Hello C.H.H.,I totally understand how feelings are running high about smoking and I understand also that as the Brand Ambassador for Carnival, I am here to take the punches…………literally, if you had your way. I hope that this was written in the heat of the moment and that you have been able to calm down and see that smoking is allowed still on every ship in an indoor location. I don’t know what RCI’s smoking rules are but I would imagine that the entire industry for the most part is the same. Please have a think and if punching me in the face makes you feel better and allows you to remember that you can smoke and that Carnival still offers the best value for money cruise vacation in the world ………then I would let you do it. As long as I can kick you in the bollocks afterwards…………….kidding. I am off now to ask someone what adiós cabeza mierda means. Although I doubt it’s ” Goodbye John, I will miss your gorgeous bottom.”
Best wishes and hope we see you again soon……….I really do.
John
Mary Russo asked:
Hello John,My father gave up smoking at 40, and then worked for 20 years with heavy smokers. Every day his silver hair was yellow when he came home but he couldn’t wash the nicotine out of his lungs. He had a lung removed when he was 70. My husband is asthmatic and I am allergic to cigarette smoke. Let smokers visit a lung cancer ward. Why didn’t Carnival ban smoking completely? Smokers are vermin!
John says:
Hello Mary Russo,I think what we have done is something that allows non smokers to be in most areas of the ship without having to worry about being around smokers and, come December, you won’t have to worry about smelling smoke inside the cabins. I was sorry to read about your father and I send you and all your family my best wishes and thanks for taking the time to write.
Best wishes to all.
John
Gregg Ossel asked:
John,Never again will I cruise on a ship out from Texas. The staff were fun and courteous but the Texan passengers were jerks. They were noisy and rude and travel in packs and dress like something out of Green Acres and Petticoat Junction. My question is about smoking and the ban you have made recently. Do you know understand that you just lost thousands of customers and I am one of them.
John says:
Hello Gregg Ossel,The smoking policy changes have I know ruffled many feathers and we all knew that this would happen. All I can do is repeat myself and say that you as a guest still have smoking options both indoor and outdoor and both in comfortable and fun surroundings. I truly hope you will take the time to really consider this before you decide to vacation elsewhere. I do understand how you feel about the smoking but as for the Texan thing, well that I simply cannot agree with. I had a brilliant four months on the Carnival Conquest and can’t wait for the Carnival Magic to sail from there. I hope we see you again on one of our ships. I am off to ask Uncle Google what Petticoat Junction and Green Acres are.
Best wishes,
John
That’s all for today………………….I have had a few comments about this Texan thing in the past months. Help a Brit out here, do some other states simply hate Texas and if so……………why?
One of the surprises for guests sailing on their Carnival Magic is Stromboli, the volcanic island. On a good day, Stromboli erupts every 15 minutes, spewing streams of glowing lava. At night the mountain becomes an inferno of sparks, smoke and occasional rumblings and the captain gets us unbelievably close. Some nights it’s as dormant as a Eunuch’s thingy and some night’s it’s Tiger Woods. Last night………..it was Tiger Woods as you will see here through the lens of the wonderful Mr. Radu Ursu.
It was a wonderful sight which the guests were of course thrilled about. Just in case you didn’t know, I have the ship’s web cam turned and pointed at the island during our passage so you can see in some part what we do.
So, it’s 2:05pm and I just got back from lunch on Lido Deck. Most of the guests are ashore in Naples and the surrounding area and I fancied a bit of Indian Tandoor so accompanied by the incomparable Calvyn, I went for a spot of lunch as today was my favourite………..buttered chicken or Tika Masala as we call it in the capital of India………..London.
Anyway, the Carnival Magic has some wonderful new outside seating areas on Lido Deck 10 aft and with the sun out, it was nice to get some fresh air. So, there I was munching on my curry and, obviously, guests recognised me. Some waved, some ignored me, some came over to say “hello” and say what a great time they were having – and one came over and was very lucky to leave without a pomperdom hanging from his bottom.
OK, I have said this before and I expect and enjoy it. Most guests though will say “excuse me” or “sorry to bother” …………not this one. He walked over and even though I had just taken a big mouthful of food, he said “Why don’t you have a card room?” As he said this, he sat down in the empty chair at our table and started talking about how Princess and Celebrity and how they had proper card rooms and bridge instructors and how dreadful the shows were and the live music. Swallowing the piece of buttered chicken and nearly choking as I did so, I apologised and explained that we did not have one but that we had the conference room which was set up with many tables suitable for card players. He then went onto spend the next 15 minutes telling me other ways that Carnival could improve by the end of which my now cold plate of congealed curry had all the appeal of Yak poo on toast. And then, suddenly, he looked at his watch and without a word he simply stood up………………and buggered off. Yes, it’s my job to listen to people and to help them and I do this as often as I can. But I think it takes a special kind of person to just sit down with no invitation or apology of interrupting a meal. It’s certainly something I would never do.
Also sailing with us this week is a chap called Benny. Benny has sailed many times before and travels with his “companion” who is here to look after him, but history tells me that I will be doing most of the looking after. Benny has what I think is called “special needs ” although these days I never quite know if this is the politically correct way of saying this.
He is in his late fifties and is a really lovely man but does tend to get very excited and I need to keep a close watch on him. You see, he likes to touch people……….not in a sinister way but more as a compliment. Now, while some guests find this ok and can handle the situation, many find it very uncomfortable. Benny also loves to take photos and always has his camera with him and takes photos of absolutely everyone.
However, there is one big concern and that is he likes to walk onto the stage and will do so during the shows and tried to do so during the Destination Unknown magic show. I have spoken to his “companion” who honestly doesn’t seem to….well……..care. And so I now have a staff member watch him at the shows ready to make sure he is gently asked to sit down rather than let him interrupt the show. Benny is a great guy, loves wearing bright colours and loves life but we have already had a few negative comments about him from other guests and I have spoken to some and apologized.
But overall, the cruise is going well despite all I have said. There are still some guests who are upset about the itinerary change and one man hates me…………simply hates me. This is the chap who I spoke about yesterday who had booked a private tour in Rome and when he tried to re-arrange it for the new arrival day was told they couldn’t help him and wanted to charge him $275 cancelation fee. I have spent some time with him as has Sabrina the guest services supervisor but he refuses to understand that we are not responsible to pay this amount. Obviously, I have to be understanding and caring and I do honestly care, but care is not something this tour operator has and if the legal beards allowed me I would print their name here. I was speaking to PA 007 who sends me so much of the early breaking news I post on Facebook. He/she said what I could not……………… “Please book your excursions through us and save yourself and us all this aggravation. It’s your vacation, you should be enjoying it and let us take care of all this stuff. The Internet shorex operators don’t give a damn about you.” And he or she is right…………why give yourself all this hassle. Things happen, things change and we are responsible and will always help you if the arrangements have been made through us. As it stands now, this man is out of pocket and he and his family still have nothing planned for Rome.
Well today I start rehearsing for the new Carnival Legends show and I am dreading it. I can’t tell you much about what I will be doing except it involves dancing………..yep……….me and dancing, two words that have as much right to go together as French and attack, Oprah Winfrey and pole dancing and John Heald and G string.
Men can’t dance. Their place is at the side of the dance floor getting drunk and laughing at the men who are trying to dance. However, thanks to programs like Dancing with the Stars, this is no longer acceptable and we will now incorporate this into our new Legends show. No real man should ever dance, however, there are three exceptions to this rule. Michael Jackson, John Travolta and Patrick Swayze. These are the only men on the entire planet ever to look brilliant on a dance floor. No man should be proud of knowing the difference between the Foxtrot and the Waltz unless you are a little bit of a Calvyn. Have you ever noticed though that the Simon Cowell of dance that is Len Goodman never actually dances himself? He criticizes other chaps prancing around in leotards and sparkly shirts but never gets up off his arse and shows them how it should be done, the lazy bastard.
Dancing is one of many things men should never do. Another is never attempt to go inside your wife’s purse. If Heidi asks me to get something from her purse, my face contorts as if she has asked me to put my hand in one of the many piles of cat shit found in my garden and then lick my fingers. I am always scared that my hand will get trapped in there in the mouth of one of those Venus Trap flower thingies and I will be slowly pulled in where my genitals will be removed by a Judge Judy look-a-like.
So I am off to Legends rehearsal and as much as I complain, it is what I am expected to do and I have to set an example for my colleagues as this new show will eventually go fleetwide. Some of the metro sexual cruise directors are going to love this and the outrageous costume they have to wear. I just tried on my “costume ” for the first time and honestly, I’ve seen gangrenous wounds that look better! Honestly……..I would rather have Stevie Wonder give me a vasectomy using only a tooth pick while a C.H.H. punches my fat ugly face. I look as sexy as a camel with explosive diarrhea.
Carnival Legends debuts here on the Carnival Magic on August 4th……………..bring a sick bag.
Goodnight.
Your friend,
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
As a smoker, I have to say, how pathetic it is, to find fault now in Carnivals policy. We get lounges, dance club, casino, our balcony, and space on deck..WHAT on earth is the problem with that? Celebrity ban you from your balcony, but take your dosh inside..Princess following suit.. Carnival has it right! The majority of the ship is non smoking.. BUT..come on.. so what, we lose a piano bar, and WHO smokes INSIDE their bedroom at home (Do people do that??)We gain a jazz club with live music, I bet the banter in there at nights now will be fab.. I just dont see what the issue is…
Please can I have some of those dollars at $18 to the £ sterling, John?
I wouldnt mind some of those either lol, I dont know where you get them from John, but the UK are selling at $1.58 to the pound.
I think the Carnival smoking policy isn’t strict enough. I get it’s an addiction, but it’s so disgusting, and harmful. Why should I have to expose myself to the smoke from those cancer sticks if I don’t want to. Don’t get me wrong, that will never chase me away, I love Carnival and it’s the only cruise line I plan to go on. I recently was on the Miracle, July 9-17, and the smoking wasn’t a problem until the last day. New York, which is a place I will NEVER leave out of again, has this awful rule that all luggage must be off the ship before the can begin calling zone numbers. Well the hours of waiting wasn’t the problem, even though it wasn’t something I cared for, but the problem was the fact that people were smoking in the ship the entire time I was waiting to leave the ship. I’m 17, and I don’t appreciate being exposed to something that I’m not even legally allowed to do myself. I read that the Paradise was at one time a smoke free ship, and I think that was a wonderful idea. I know smokers have their panties in a twist about wanting to be able to smoke on ships, but I think it’s nonsense. Also on this cruise, we had a balcony, which would have been wonderful, but the people in the cabins on either side of us, as well as in the cabin above us, were smokers. I get that it’s their choice, but my mother, who pays for all the cruises and would have been more than happy to throw the smokers overboard if she could, did not pay the extra money for our room just for the added bonus of the balcony to be ruined by a cloud of smoke coming from both sides. If the smoking policy that Carnival has is going to chase smokers away, then I’m glad, good riddance, my next cruise will be much better without them if it means being able to breath fresh air whenever I want to watch the sunset or whatever on the balcony that we payed extra money for.
That being said, the cruise itself was wonderful. It was my second cruise, my first being on the Glory last December, and it was just as wonderful. The Miracle is a beautiful ship, or CD, Malcolm, was hilarious, our Assistant CD Sean was cool, the comedians were spectacular, the dining staff in Bacchus were incredibly friendly and helpful and our room Steward certainly knew how to do his job. Sorry I made you sit through this anti-smoking rant, but I just thought you’d like to know my feelings on the policies that have so many angry.
Adam, I completely agree with you! I just wanted to say that your rant was a pleasure to read and one of the most well-written paragraphs that I’ve read in a while. What you said could not have been more true.
I understand that it can be difficult for smokers to resist a cigarette, but it’s a well-known fact that second hand smoke is dangerous, particularly for little children, of which there are so many on board. The other passengers on the ship did not sign up for breathing in second hand smoke, and it is unfair to put them into a situation where they have no choice. If the smoker chooses to subject himself to poison, that is his own decision. But under no circumstances should he extend this damage to other people on board.
Here, here Adam. I loved every word of your rant. I have had smokers on both sides of the balcony before and it is a royal pain.
Dude Ya need to give it a rest… sheese. If ya don’t like smoking.. get the hell away from it .. most of the ship is non smoking..With only few smoking areas left. Think ya have sense to stay away if it bothers ya that much..Smokers do have rights..just as you have rights to..So repect them & yours get respected..Typical non smoker in a smoking area complaining bout smoking..Leave…And if i am , in a smoking area.. and someone bitches bout smoke guess what i blow right in ya face.. again don’t go in a smoking area… its not rocket science..
Hey John… PLEEEEASE reply! I’ve posted on your Facebook, and in the “Ask John” query but haven’t seen an answer yet. What will the policies on the electric (not harmful, no smell, etc.) cigarettes be? While I have quit completely, the hubby still uses his.
Thanks in advance!
The smoking policy for the electronic cigs is the same as normal ones.
And you’re sure of this? Because I’ve read otherwise. I’ll wait for John’s answer on this one, but thank you
John,
Thanks for sharing those volcano pictures, pretty special. A few years back we watched the Hawaii volcanoes one evening from the deck of the Spirit. It didn’t have the explosiveness as seen in your third photo, but still it was a sight I will remember the rest of my life. We even had US television in the rooms and imagine that we chose to watch a volcano instead.
I’m counting the days until our next cruise (the carnival site actually is doing the counting for me). Btw, I’m curious who the cruise director is on the Glory (I know… subject to change
)
capt chuck
The phrase used by C.H.H. means goodbye s**t head. I don’t speak Spanish, so I don’t know if the grammar is correct, nor do I know if it’s the correct idiom to use. It does seem pretty rude to use it here…
To all the smokers who are complaining about Carnival ruining their lives by allowing smoking in fewer places, see ya. I don’t think you are going to find much sympathy with the name calling and threats of jumping lines. Go ahead, jump lines, I do not think you will find any vessel sailing from US ports having smoking areas anywhere and everywhere. Most, if not all ships allow smoking in very limited areas. Mostly outside, mostly on one side of the ship.
As to the lunch interruption, some guests think all crew members, be they the always pleasant men washing the decks at night or the men and women in white officers uniforms, are working 24/7 and should welcome being interrupted with any number of things. I often see crew members in the lunch buffets and I have yet to stop and converse, if I happen to walk by and they catch my eye, a simple hello or good afternoon is all I exchange. FFS, everyone should be able to eat in peace and quiet. If the crew member wants to mingle, let them make the first approach.
Great blog as always John.
JOHN – PLEASE REPLY
” No man should be proud of knowing the difference between the Foxtrot and the Waltz unless you are a little bit of a Calvyn.”
Count me in as a Calvyn – I am proud to say that I know the difference between a foxtrot, a waltz, a samba, a rhumba, a cha cha and a mambo. In fact, if you recall, the first time you ever saw me, I was doing a foxtrot while dressed as the front end of the Smokefree Paradise.
Which brings me to the second part of your blog today – the smoking policy. As you well know, I am of the non-smoking persuasion (although, like you, I enjoy the good cigar). Yet, it infuriates me that so many smokers have such antipathy towards you over the ever evolving smoking policies of Carnival and just about every social entity. Perhaps it is time that these individuals get their collective heads out of the sand and realize that > 80 percent of people do NOT smoke and that the remaining < 20 percent intrude upon the non-smokers domain. Cigarette and cigar smoke does not stay in one place – it floats on the air, subject to the whims of the wind. It is not uncommon for a non-smoker, standing in a non-smoking area to be assaulted by the waif of smoke coming from another area – this exact situation happened to the Mrs. & I on the Carnival Pride out of Baltimore when we boarded and had to wait for our rooms. Because they were allowing passengers to smoke in the casino area, the main lobby, particularly the area nearest the casino, was filled with second hand smoke. We ultimately had to move over next to the pursers (damn) guest service desk to escape the second hand smoke.
Carnival's attempt at a smokefree ship is what originally got this couple hooked on cruising and we will continue to cruise – ever more happy that we can roam more and more of the ship without worrying about the smell of smoke.
As always, you manage to maintain your calm during the diatribes of the various "I hate your guts" individuals who blame you for these changes in policy – as if you are the sole decision maker at Carnival.
Best to Heidi & Kye. BTW, when can Kye expect a sibling?
STILLMissingthesmokefreeparadise
John Chapter 1:
What the hell kind of religion doesn’t practice common courtesy including please and thank you with your requests. They are, after all, requests. You have no authority to give orders or make demands.
Personally I think you are blowing smoke.
I didn’t get the part about having to have a female waiter. Just seems like an odd request to me.
Dwayne
DOWN, DOWN! John, you put the toilet seat down!
JoyceG
I think the UP was BEFORE – but yes he should remember to put it DOWN after!!
Hello John:
While not a Texan, in Arkansas we understand our neighbors. Texans are for the most part fun loving and big hearted people. They can be kind of loud when they are having a good time. I noticed a great comparison one time in Paris, there was a large group of 20 somethings standing around waiting for something and they were very quiet. All dressed in black with dark shoes, handbags, etc. I said to my wife, you know, if we were in Dallas or Houston a group like this would have more life, there would be some laughing, some shouting, and everyone would have different clothes on, maybe plenty of jeans, but a few cowboy boots, some jewelry, you know, some diversity. Some of your commenters, is that a word?, describe their fellow Carnival passengers as “common”. I searched for the best meaning of this and have this example, an insulting way of describing someone from a low social class. Well people that are thinking they are from a high social class might not care for Texans as they tend to be fun loving and enjoy a good joke, common. This world is sure a funny place.
I noticed people of a certain, shall we say, “holier than thou” complex using the word “common” to describe the unwashed masses which (it seemed) should not be allowed to vacation on board the same ship as themselves. Well. If they don’t like the company, they should stay home and complain to another country club bozo.
John,
I think it’s great that you are as responsive as possible to all the issues that are brought to you in this blog. You try your best to provide an answer or an explanation and that’s great. But with regard to the angry smokers, it’s probably time to stop responding and let the matter rest.
As everyone knows, the active ingredient in tobacco is nicotine. It’s a drug, and an extremely dangerous and habit-forming one. When you respond to an angry smoker, you are trying to reason with an addict. Unfortunately, as chemical dependency treatment professionals know, it is impossible to reason with someone who is addicted to any sort of mind-altering chemical.
Let the addicts vent in whatever forum they choose. And hopefully when they want to seek treatment, they will. But airing letters from people in denial regarding their chemical dependency just doesn’t do you or them any favors.
Well, according to the latest statistics there are approximately 46 million smokers remaining in the U.S. People are normally very resistant to change, so when you make changes that affect smokers who travel loyally on your line they are going to be pissed off. They are tired of hearing the excuse ” that’s they way the world is going now”, as an explanation that is supposed to sooth their anger. Smokers have been under assault for the past 10 years and they are growing weary of it……you know., they are just pissed and aren’t going to take it any more. So please don’t be so naive to believe thay won’t find somewhere else to spend their money. I no longer smoke, but I can understand where they are coming from, especially with all the Zealots who pop up to demonize them, especially on cruise message boards and blogs. You can’t win. You have potentially pissed off 20% of your customers (you really don’t believe it is only 10% that Carnival’s junk science survey reported, do you?), so you or may not see some negative results. For the record, the only thing I see as a travesty in the new smoking policies is the loss of those magnificent cigar bars (primarily on the Conquest Class), they were a thing of beauty. Big mistake….would have been better to relocate the Internet cafe….
So…just a response to the gentleman who felt like he can no longer join in…well for years as a non-smoker I have felt I could not join in. When we cruised 2 years ago, there were several areas I did not venture into for fun. I stayed out of the piano bar and the dance club. You can easily step out have a smoke and return to the fun. I had to just move on. I think Carnival did a good job of including both. I still won’t be going to the dance club, but at least I have a couple more areas to enjoy. Just remember it is easier for someone to step out have the cigeratte, than for someone to have deal with the medical issues that smoke can cause. I get migraines – sometimes they last a couple days, not something you would want to happen when you are on a cruise. If people could remember not to be so self centered, it really would make time spent on the ship better.
John:
Wish I could see the expression on CHH’s face, when they board RCCL and realize that the smoking change that Carnival just make….was made on RCCL YEARS AGO.
Talk about making an absolute fool of themselves … yes CHH did indeed.
Chantal’s story was interesting. Although it does amaze me that Chantal had no problem subjecting his/her addiction onto innocent people all these years.
Did he/she stop for one second and think …how does it make all those people around me feel? Nope…
As usual, those who demand the most tolerance are the very ones who give the LEAST.
As stated before, smoking is not a “right”… it is a privilege and as a privilege comes with the responsibility not to harm other people….especially children.
But obviously to people like Chantal..it is all about THEM….how surprising…..
TO answer your question….no …other States do not hate Texas. In fact, educated people understand that Texas is probably one of the best run states in the US.
Texas manages their assets well and the people (in general) come across as self reliant, hardworking, honorable individuals.
I think it is very short sighted for someone to label an entire state based on a few individuals on a cruise ship that probably are not even from Texas.
But then, just consider the source, ole Gregg there is willing to give up enjoying the best cruiseline in the industry; because of an addiction he is to weak to control. And he dares belittle someone else …. priceless!
Btw, Mary Russo is also very wrong. Smokers are not vermin. Such comments are ridiculously childish.
Btw, John…it is a little disappointing to see you compare secondhand smoke to stepping on chewing gum.
It is obvious that you have not spent 2 months with ulcers coating your throat and bron tubes from secondhand smoke on the Holiday in 2003….if you had, you would not be as a flippant about it.
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
John, As always your blog is amazing. I never really comment on here, I do regularly on Facebook, but I just wanted to say something about the shore excursions. While I totally and completely agree with you that booking with Carnival is the “stress free” way to go, it is by far the most expensive.
I love to cruise, but at the same time I’m on a budget. If I booked Carnival’s shore excursions I could only go on 3-4 day cruises. If I book independently I can go on a 7 day cruise. The cost difference for a couple who like in Florida is really there when you think about it. I’ve been on both and honestly will continue to book independently based on prices. Both offer AMAZING customer service mind you, it all comes down to price. Anyways, I’m sure you’ve heard this before. Just wanted to show some love ont he blog and offer my 2 cents. Hope you have an amazing day! Thanks!
From RCL website “Smoking in public areas is only permitted in designated smoking sections which vary by ship. Generally, smoking is permitted outdoors on only one side of the ship; and smoking is permitted on all private ocean front balconies, including Loft Suite balconies on Oasis Class” Most all cruise lines are going the same way.
Hi John – you hit the nail on the head…many people from other States simply hate anything and everything to do with Texas. We think it’s just jealousy!
My boyfriend was one of those haters until I took him back to San Antonio with me and he actually met some real Texans. Texans are, by and large, some of the friendliest people you’ll ever have the privilige of meeting. But, just as every other State, Texas has it’s share of a-holes as well. But when the a-hole is from Texas, the entire State gets blamed. New Yorkers and Texans tend to get picked on the most. Again – just jealousy!
Most of the people who hate Texans have never been to Texas – that’s the funniest thing about it. Or, they went to Texas with a big ole chip on their shoulder about Texans and then wondered why they hated it. Hope this helps you understand the dynamic.
I think it has a lot to do with the fact that a lot of people resent the fact that Texas doesn’t need the United Stated to survive. Most people are used to the Federal government being present in almost every aspect of their daily lives and when they see a state that that could literally cut ties with the US and still stand on their own two feet jealousy sinks in and they resort to personal attacks like name calling.
Hey John, In response to your question about Texans, yes, many from the USA do not care for them. So many Texans are just lovely people, but it is their arrogance about their state. Yes, it is wonderful to have pride, in moderation. The majority of people from Texas are just, so be blunt, obnoxious regarding how much better everything and everyone is in Texas. Each of our wonderful 50 states have gifts to share with the world. Texan’s are rude, hateful and cause many discomfort from their cocky, pompous and egotistical view of Texas. just saying
It’s nice to see a comment like that posted by Chantal. She didn’t agree with the policy and stated her reasons. She also realized that John had nothing to do with the policy, he just had the misfortune of telling everyone. (Hope you got hazard pay for that one John.) It’s too bad that C.H.H. and Mary Russo couldn’t also write a comment without personal attacks against others.
As for Gregg Ossel, what did you mean that Texans dress like something out of Green Acres or Petticoat Junction? Are you saying that they were dressed as they did back in the 60′s? I seem to recall that some of the characters on those shows were dressed in slacks and long sleeve shirts, dresses, the occasional suit, etc… Sure some of the characters were dressed in overalls but always with a shirt on underneath (which is a fair depiction of the American rural area at that time). Running in packs and being noisy just means we have friends and like to have a good time while on vacation. I bet if you had asked a group to PLEASE keep it down, they would have complied with your request. As for being rude, I cannot comment because I wasn’t there, but I bet that you are off base here too. If you do not want to sail out of Texas, that is fine. Obviously there are plenty that do or otherwise Carnival would not be placing a brand new ship there. For my final words to you, as we say in Texas… Adios, M***** F*****!!!
Well said Kyle! Why is it that these people knocking Texas never mention what state they are from. Must not be proud of the state they live in.
LOL!! Loved the parting words!
Thanks for the smile!
John, I hope you didn’t mean to equate stepping on discarded chewing gum with inhaling second-hand smoke. If you did, you might want to check with those scientists you mentioned in your aritcle. They’ll tell you gum on the bottom of your shoe will not kill you, but the thousands of deadly chemicals in tobacco smoke will! It is amazing that smokers, even those so-called polite smokers, just don’t get it. They will not accept responsibility for the harm they inflict upon themselves and others.
I enjoy reading John’s blog, but some of the reader comments are frightening. For example, CHH’s comment about being treated like he has HIV because he smokes. CHH, how exactly are people with HIV treated? How would one even distinguish those with or without HIV?
John,
I just sent a letter via the blog about the whole Texas thing. Personally I’d like to know what “the beards” who choose the letters you ask have against Texas and Texans. There seems to be one of these stupid letters at least once a week. Enough already, next time I sail out of Long Beach I’m going to write a long letter complaining about all the crazy Californians! It’s ridiculous and they really need to stop fueling the fire. Last week on the Conquest we met people from all over the US and from London! Everyone who sails out of Galveston is NOT from Texas, so get over it people!
Dear John
I think what that ill-mannered lout called you would be translated as “cabeza de caca” or as they like to say in Ireland , Shite-head. I can swear vividly in 5 languages, want help with a riposte ? As you routinely use words of more than 3 syllables, he might have difficulty understanding you.
Best wishes,
Melinda Fain
Ah Dear sweet John, I do not know how you deal with the “smoking problem” that never seems to fail to annoy some. While some just “go with the flow” some will never go on another Carnival cruise again. It is not just Carnival as you have said it is all over, especially here in the U.S. I for one am very grateful that Carnival has gone the route they have. Carnival will not ever be able to please all the people all the time. But maybe they can please a greater majority of them. I was sorry to read that your cigar days are over. I always imagine you late in the evening on the open deck smoking your cigar and just relaxing after a very long and perhaps stressful day.
With your cat problem over, and I am glad that your readers were so helpful, now Heidi and concentrate on that dog she wants. I think she may want to think about that a bit more. With you so busy and Heidi and Kye visiting you time and again what will happen to the dog. I am with you on this one John; just say no.
I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to seeing you again on the Carnival Magic on September 25th. Now with a new Legends show and you the “big star”, it has to be a huge hit.
Keep smiling John; you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
John,
Great blog the pictures from Radu are outstanding. Glad the plans work, and love your exodus term. Interesting story about Benny, I am glad you are there for him and it is sad his companion is not. He needs someone new who knows how to help in the situations you mentioned.
And to CHH sorry to say you will not have the luck you think at RCCL this is a bit from the CC article.
Royal Caribbean
Where You Can Smoke: Smoking is permitted only on cabin balconies, on the starboard side of open decks and in the designated smoking areas of public rooms.
Where You Can’t: Smoking is prohibited in all cabins (except on balconies) and in one public room on each ship. In addition, as always, dining areas and show lounges will be non-smoking, along with the port side of open decks. It they want to find the link I sent it to you on Facebook. I am an avid non-smoker but I understand the addiction. I just happen to be allergic to it.
Thank you so much for these blogs, I honestly enjoy and look forward to them..
The Stromboli photos are awesome as usual but a shame you missed Mt. Etna’s show last night. I’ll bet Mr. Radu would have done that justice as well.
Ok, C.H.H. I’ve had it with the threats…other lines have the same rules with smoking and I’m tired of the Carnival bashers threatening to go elsewhere because they allow it…THEY DON’T…this is directly from their website:
A: For the comfort and enjoyment of our guests, our ships are designated as non-smoking; however, we recognize that some of our guests smoke. Therefore, to provide an onboard environment that also satisfies smokers, we have designated certain public and private areas of the ship as “smoking areas.”
Smoking in public areas is only permitted in designated smoking sections which vary by ship. Generally, smoking is permitted outdoors on only one side of the ship; and smoking is permitted on all private ocean front balconies, including Loft Suite balconies on Oasis Class. To assist in locating areas where smoking is permitted, you will find visible signage posted within all smoking areas and ashtrays that are provided for your use. The location of all smoking venues can also be found in the daily Cruise Compass; or you may contact Guest Services once onboard.
For your safety, smoking is not permitted inside any stateroom or on interior private balconies on Oasis Class that overlook The Boardwalk or Central Park. Smoking is not permitted in any dining venue, food outlet, theater, hallway or corridor; nor in Central Park, The Boardwalk or The Jogging Track on Oasis Class
Why change, if can’t do it there either?
Sorry, but these smoking comments crack me up. Before C.H.H runs to RCCL, he or she may want to read their policy. It starts by saying their ships are non-smoking. Then goes on to talk about designated smoking areas and NO smoking in your cabin….it basically reads the same as Carnival. Be mad if you want, but don’t try to make Carnival out to be the bad guy, they are all the same!
Chantal,
I do hope you’re reading! I have recently been on the Miracle and I smoke. The changes, aside from smoking in the room (after Dec. 1), will not affect you! It’s honestly not different from what’s allowed now. Have a great time!!
John- please send us Texans’ profound thanks to Greg Arsehole, errr, Ossel for never cruising on a ship out of Texas again and also leaving Carnival as a customer. What a load of bullocks. I am really tired of this BS and it is my theory that trolls like G.O. are dumpinmg on Texas & Texans because Texas is where Carnival has decided to homeport their newest flagship. Guess Greg has his head so buried up his arsehole that he can’t fathom that not just Texans sail from Galveston, Texas. Go back under your bridge troll…
Hi John,
Love the blog and I am a fan of yours on FB.
I understand why it was decided that the Magic would rearrange its itinerary this week, but I also sympathize with those that had independent tours booked that had to then be contacted and hopefully rescheduled.
It is easy to say that people should just book their tours through Carnival, but the price disparity between what Carnival charges and what a reputable tour operator charges is incredible. For instance, we have a tour booked for Naples that is going to cost us $57 euros versus $175 dollars if we booked through Carnival. If Carnival was more competitive (and fair) in its tour pricing then more people would book with them.
Debbie
Hi John I just had to comment on the French Canadian smoker.I am a Canadian as well and I can tell you we have very strict non-smoking laws here.We cannot smoke in any public building, the majority of hotels are non-smoking.We even have non-smoking laws for many parks and beaches.They are talking about making laws about smoking in your car with children.Anyways her acting so offended by Carnival’s smoking rules is a little over the top.You are right the changes are happening on land as well as sea.Thanks for a great blog. Sandy
All I can say is Gene Kelley & Fred Astaire – John let them be your inspiration!
Just returned from a cruise on the Carnival Elation after the new smoking rules. First let me say i am a smoker and did not have a problem. One I have never smoked in my cabin just like I would not smoke in a hotel room or a nonsmokers house. Second there is plenty of room outside to smoke (just wish the nonsmokers knew which side is port and starboard) and there is at least one area indoors. The new rules would never make me leave Carnival.
People that do not like Texans are jealous. They wish that they lived here, however probably would not qualify to live here. You have honorary Texan status, as I have bestowed it on you.
Texans. As a Texan who has lived in several regions in the US, I can tell you that cultures are simply different throughout the US. Someone from New England who has had very little exposure to Southerners in general is in for a real culture shock when visiting Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas, Georgia or Alabama, just as I experienced extreme culture shock when I moved to Connecticut. What I felt was common courtesy and downright friendly was seen as annoying and suspicious by my new neighbors. It took, literally, 2 years for me to make any friends in CT, while in the South, everyone is your friend. Now I could complain that New Englanders are all stuffy, overly-reserved, and downright snobby, but I know that is not really the case. The reservation is simply their culture, just as open and sometimes raucous behavior is part of the southern culture, and just as speedos and line-cutting are part of the Russian culture.
John I think I can also help in your cat dilemma and Heidi’s want of a dog all at the same time. Get a weinie dog (dachshund) – they will bark at anything that moves in your neighborhood and HATE cats so it’s an excellent cat deterrent. Good protection for Heidi and Kye while you’re gone. Though my doxie hates strangers AND men….so if you are a man AND a stranger you already have two strikes against you.
Cheers mate! Have a lovely evening/morning/whatever it is where you are
Dee
Hi John,
Sorry you’ve got some strange passengers this cruise – but it seems like there are strange ones every cruise.
Looking forward to the new Legends show. Even though you feel that men shouldn’t dance, don’t tell that to Butch as he really enjoys it.
Take care!
George and Linda
I just read the smoking policies for “RCI”, and (unless I cant read), it is about the same as Carnival. What is the big deal if it is a industry standard?
from RCI:
For the comfort and enjoyment of our guests, our ships are designated as non-smoking; however, we recognize that some of our guests smoke. Therefore, to provide an onboard environment that also satisfies smokers, we have designated certain public and private areas of the ship as “smoking areas.”
John,
Regarding your question as to why some people from other states “hate” us Texans is very simple to understand. One word…jealousy!
You see we are the only state that was once its own Republic. Then we allowed the U.S. to make us a state. Our state Constitution still allows us to “secede” if and when it may become necessary! (and sometimes lately it seems like we should)
We do, however, welcome new residents. Once here, they usually say, “I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as quick as I could.”
Wrong. Our OLD constitution allowed for secession.
Then we went and joined the wrong side of that big war between the states.
When we rejoined the union we did so under the union’s rules and not our original bargaining points.
*sigh* I wish our educational system wasn’t so bad that “Texans” cannot even talk factually about our own history.
Of course, maybe you aren’t an actual Texan
The only problem with Texas is that it gave us the Bushes
With your statement I see the first half of your name is spot on. So I guess your one that gave us obama.
John, you’ll do well. Be yourself and also enjoy the show which I think you will my friend.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Hi John,
You asked why so many seem to hate Texans. I think part of the reason is jealousy. Texas has a lower cost of living and a higher rate of pay than most of the other states, more jobs to offer (a state full of small business owners), the Gulf Coast to the south with a coastal/tropical climate and a cooler climate with 4 seasons to the north. Texas could be self sustaining and some Texans believe we should secede from the Union (I am not one of them). We have Bluebell Ice Cream (when back in TX, you must try it)and fresh seafood. We have oil, farmland, factories (industrial), computers (HP and all things tech)then to top it all off…we have Carnival! I am a transplant from Colorado and love Texas. We have been here for 20 years and unless God intervenes, we will live out our lives here. Our children and grandchildren live in Texas. I will not ever say “Y’all” or “fixin”, though! Hope you enjoyed this very brief summary of one of our largest and friendliest states! We sail on the Magic in November and can hardly wait! Thanks for all you do.
Hello John,
Re States & Texas…Many southern states have “unique” qualities and often have rivalries. Here in Texas we have a small joke…You know why Texas doesn’t float away into the Gulf? Its because Oklahoma sucks!
See you November 13th on Magic..waiting for our invite to the 1 night sailing pre!
to chantal and smoking
whin i was growing up smokers, acted as if NON SMOKERS were second clASS INDIVIDUAL I am glad to see that the worm has turned . and we have smoking policy now. I think the policy should be stricter
Hi John — I am so sorry that I will miss your new performance in the Legends show on the TA. Suppose I must book another cruise to enjoy having you as CD. I’m also concerned what will happen to the Dolly Parton dress? Since I’ve never seen that show, either, I do hope that it is kept nearby for an occasional appearance or private audience….:-)
Thanks again for the daily laughs through the blog and all you do to be so kind and helpful to CCL cruisers.
Nancy McQ
No offense, but some people don’t want to do shore excursions from a bus with 55 other passengers and prefer the 6-8 person driver guide excursions with companies like Rome in Limo in those nice Mercedez vans.
So true! Smaller sized tours are so much better, and the cost of an independent tour vs. a Carnival tour is usually less than half!
to John Chapter 1
You and your family may be extremely religious but one thing is clearly.. YOU HAVE NO MANNERS!!! If you want your privacy and no one to disturb you, call room service, order a sandwich for each of you , and do your singing , dancing and whatever religious thing you do, in your room. But coming to John, DEMANDING for a table and other ridiculous request is wayyyyyyy out of line. And it is not so much the demanding, is the rude way you ask for it. Another thing.. why female waitress? so you can check her out? What difference does it makes?
John, you just too funny!
I still don’t understand people blowing up at YOU for a company decision! Oh well, maybe it’s one of those things I’m not suppose to understand.
I had the “fortunate” opportunity to be sat behind three 20 something Russian guys at a concert in Chicago over the weekend. Thanks to you I couldn’t stop thinking about them in tiny speedos ( which in this case would have been quite the eye candy ) my husband still thinks my huge smile all night was because I was really enjoying the concert!
Have a great sailing!
Hello John
I’d like to reply to the post from Gregg Ossel but I am a little shocked by him calling us rude and noisy and saying we dressed like we are on Petticoat Junction or Green Acres (couldn’t find anything current Gregg?) I believe THAT to be rude Mr Ossel(think he’s French, John?). I’d like to believe we (Texans) are fun, caring, loving and fun loving people who may be a little boisterous at times. But, it probably doesn’t matter to you what I think and it doesn’t really matter to me what YOU think either. If you, however, don’t want to sail with US anymore, we’ll just sail on the new Magic without you!
John (please reply),
I just read in today’s blog the complaints about smoking. I was on the Pride (7/3 – 7/10) and although I agree with the smoking policy as a whole, I feel the execution on the Pride was ineffective. I fear it may be true on other ships also.
Indoor smoking was moved to the Stary Nights Lounge, which is the only place cigar smokers can enjoy a cigar (this would be me). The setup was uncomfortable and from what I saw every day, there was no entertainment or bar service at any time. I had hoped to be able to relax in a comfortable seat, get a nice glass of scotch and smoke a cigar while I read a book. I did get to do all those things, but it wasn’t easy. Since there was no bar service, I had to go to the sports bar to get my scotch. There were no comfortable seats for relaxing, so I sat on a padded bench seat, which wasn’t very good. I made the best of it, and I did enjoy my cigar, scotch and book, but it wasn’t how I had hoped.
I know the policy is new, and they are doing their best to work with the new policy, but I really hope they make these areas for the smokers more enjoyable and comfortable.
On a side note, we were out of satellite range for a few days and while I could care less since I wasn’t there to watch TV, it kind of stunk in the Sports Bar when you can’t watch sports. Maybe the beards can supply the Sports Bars with DVD players and a library of classic sporting events that the bartender can pop (or poop) in during those outages. Just a thought.
My cruise was awesome, better than I expected, and even though we sailed out of Baltimore, there were a number of Texan’s there, and every one of them were AWESOME!
Thank you for all you do, and thank you for your blog!
David
@Wendy, I think I know Ketut. We had him on our last cruise and he said he was going to be on the Glory. We loved him.
@Greg, I have sailed out of Texas and the people were just fine. Also most of the people on the ship were not from Texas.
Ok, ok, ok, ok, enough! They still let you flippin’ smoke! What about your rights? What about MY rights? What about my right to enjoy sitting down and enjoying a good meal without smoke being blown around the room, giving me a headache? What about the rights of those who are allergic to smoke? You won’t cruise with Carnival anymore because you can’t smoke anywhere you please? Well, I wouldn’t cruise with Carnival again if you could. You complain about your rights but your rights are being met. You are allowed to smoke, just not everywhere! If you don’t like that then don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!
Well said.
About 9 out of 10 Carnival Cruises don’t smoke.
How much more do the smokers really need?
OK i just about had enough with the smoking topic. Carnival has changed the policy. get over it.
you forgot about the best male dancer of all time.. Gene Kelly !
I have as yet not said anything about the new smoking policy. I do not nor have ever smoked. After 17 Carnival cruises I have never had a problem with smoking in any area other than the piano bar. I do have allergies and the small areas such as that do bother me. I come from So Cal and smoking is very limited here. Right or wrong.. I think Carnival as to be proactive rather than reactive to the way society today is moving. Kudos to Carnival, as a platinum cruiser with a non active stick in the fire, I think they are doing the right thing. Just an opinion from a non smoker who really doesn’t care either way..
John,
I was just wondering if they are going to enforce smoking rules on Stromboli, only allowing it to smoke and erupt on one side of the volcano! Seriously, as an ex smoker, I have always been mindful of those around me and I do not think that having to go to a smoking area is asking too much. There are places where the entire property is non-smoking and people have to leave the grounds to smoke. I think the smokers will just have to go to the designated area and fume while they smoke and try to get over themselves. BTW, I think the smoking area will be the most social area on the ship and now they will have a conversation starter by talking about the smoking bans!
C.H.H… When calling someone a sh*thead in Spanish, it’s not “cabeza mierda”, It’s “cabeza de mierda”.
The smoking policy is pretty much the same across the board. From on line to the next, it’s not much different but I guess that something all those having a smoke temper tantrum will find out when they fulfill their promise and sail on another line (womp… womp)
When the smoking ban came in here in the UK, I questioned why, although perhaps not financially viable, there could not be two kinds of pubs, smoking and none smoking. Answers were that maybe the staff having to work in the smoking pubs would be none smokers and would not like the smoke around them.
Well my point was that smokers work in smoking bars, none smokers in smoke free ones.
While I don’t expect Carnival to have smoking and smoke free ships, my point is this; if they did…… someone would complain. Non-smokers would complain they couldn’t not go on a certain ship to certain place, because they always need to complain about something.
There is too much hypocrisy in the world, take the song ‘if I were a man’, my God, what would woman have said if such a disrespectful song had been sang about women.
It’s the same with cut down names, as a man from Britain I accept been called a Brit, the USA accepts Yank as the Canadians accept Canuck, but cut down the name of a man from Pakistan and you are a racist.
It’s crazy, people just cannot seem to agree, and it’s as if they go out of their way to do the complete opposite.
As it stands, I smoke, I hate smoking when I’m eating, if fact, I hate the smell of smoke at most times, but yes I do smoke and I believe there should be separate areas for smoking and none smoking.
I would love to see medical evidence that someone is ‘allergic’ to smoke, what a load of tosh, and to the person who apparently is ‘allergic’ well you think I’m vermin, you can’t go judging someone on one thing they do, I am pretty sure you don’t have any faults as others would see it, so I should really consider you a perfect person, well the truth is I think you are an ignorant idiot:o)
Rant over !
In fact, many people are allergic to the chemicals in the smoke. They might not die from it, but it causes them to feel sick.
I have never once judge you, nor called you a name, nor commented on your intelligence. You however have done this to me. You do not know me. John got nasta-grams from people over them losing their right to smoke. What about the rights of non-smokers? Do these people still eat at Burger King? You can’t smoke there. So, unless I directly insult you, do not insult me.
I wasn’t going to comment on the “smoking policy” again but after reading the above comments I just had too.
Smokers are saying nicely new policy OK, we can live with them.
Non-smokers on the other hand are yelling WE WANT STRICTER RULES. They will never be happy.
I say PLEASE just allow Electronic cigarettes everywhere but the MDR and everyone should be happy. I only use the work “cigarettes” because that is what they are called by non-smokers. In reality all they are are adult pacifiers. I don’t want to hear the “confusion” BS the non-smokers say they will cause. Have you ever seen a cigarette with a BRIGHT red or blue light on the tip? If you notice a BRIGHT red or blue light across the room you know it’s obviously a E-cig not a real cigarette. If an E-cig is “confused” with anything it might be a laser pointer it’s so bright. If it’s me across the room you wont even see the BRIGHT red light on my E-cig because I cup my hand over the end so not to draw attention to it.
BIG Ed
Keep talking up those ecigs, my silver bullet has saved my life. I vape everywhere, no odor, no offensive smoke, no damage to my lungs, now if they were only accepted for what they are and more people vaped actual cigarettes wouldn’t even exist. I am an expert now at “stealth” vaping. See ya on a cruise someday.
RE: Gregg Ossel
After reading your question I’m going to check out a Carnival cruise from Texas.
Sounds like a treal hoot.
Maybe some country music too.
I can not believe that this C.H.H. person would be so rude as to say what he said in spanish. I really don’t understand the personal attacks. Talk about shooting the messenger. Gee what a jerk.
John,
I’m not going to comment about the smoking. That horse has been beaten to death!
But I must make an observation about Texans. I am from the midwestern part of the US. I’ve never met a Texan I did not like! They are friendly, genuine, and never pretentious. I say all you others, “Get over yourselves”!
JoyceG
Not sure if it helps but here is some info:
Taken from NCL website:
What about smoking on the ship?
We want you to be comfortable on board, sopublic areas throughout all NCL ships are smoke free. If you smoke cigarettes, you can do so in your stateroom, on your balcony, in the casino or Cigar Bar (where available). If you prefer pipes or cigars, you can smoke in the Cigar Bar or designated smoking lounge. Also, you can smoke cigarettes, pipes and cigars outside on open decks (just not around food venues, sport decks, kids’ pool areas and other designated non-smoking areas). Cigar and pipe smoking inside your stateroom or on your balcony is prohibited.
Taken fromRoyal Caribbean’s website:
Q:
What is the Smoking Policy onboard?
A:
Our ships are designated as non-smoking; however, we recognize that some of our guests smoke. Therefore, to provide an onboard environment that also satisfies smokers, we have designated certain public and private areas of the ship as “smoking areas.”
Smoking in public areas is only permitted in designated smoking sections which vary by ship. Generally, smoking is permitted outdoors on only one side of the ship; and smoking is permitted on all private ocean front balconies, including Loft Suite balconies on Oasis Class. To assist in locating areas where smoking is permitted, you will find visible signage posted within all smoking areas and ashtrays that are provided for your use. The location of all smoking venues can also be found in the daily Cruise Compass; or you may contact Guest Services once onboard.
For your safety, smoking is not permitted inside any stateroom or on interior private balconies on Oasis Class that overlook The Boardwalk or Central Park. Smoking is not permitted in any dining venue, food outlet, theater, hallway or corridor; nor in Central Park, The Boardwalk or The Jogging Track on Oasis Class ships; nor in the H2O Zone on Oasis and Freedom Class ships. A $250 cleaning fee will be applied to the SeaPass account if smoking has occurred inside staterooms or on private interior balconies overlooking The Boardwalk or Central Park onboard Oasis Class ships. Royal Caribbean International kindly asks all guests to please observe the non-smoking areas and to refrain from smoking pipes or cigars in any of the public areas. These requests are made to provide a comfortable shipboard environment for everyone. Guests who violate this smoking policy may be subject to further action pursuant to the “Consequences Section” of this Guest Conduct Policy.
Pipe and cigar smoking is only permitted within the Cigar lounge. (If no Cigar lounge exists on a particular ship, there will be a designated area for pipe and cigar smoking).
A guest must be at least 18 years of age to purchase, possess or use tobacco products onboard. Cigarettes, cigars and pipe tobacco must always be properly disposed ofand never thrown overboard.
Now having said that anyone who feels CCL is much different from “Other” cruise lines is an utter fool. If you choose not to cruise because of CCL policy so be it go and cry somewhere else.
Thanks John
Now here I go missing something again-living up to my nickname Aprilsclueless
whats with a Nov 13th presail—can I come too ?
Cheers and hugs
and yes some of my best friends are from Texas—–ya gotta love them !
Speaking of smoking lol. I’m taking the family on the Dream in September (Eastern Caribbean) and was wondering if you could possibly recommend where to find and what kind of real cuban cigar to get on our journey?
Thanks, and love the blog, especially your sense of humor!
I knew I would need lots of pop corn as the the do goodys and the scumbums go at it for the 500th time. Don’t you all get tired of the batting each other. Just make sure you use facts and not opinions in the battle. Lots of opinions people are useing as facts.
Warning for fat people the do gooders are starting to look at you the same way they look at a smoker. Everybody have fun.
Another great blog. I feel for you & those at Carnival on the smoking issue, I’m a non-smoke, but does not have a issue w/smokers, this is an issue that no matter how hard ppl try not everyone will be pleased. Canival offers space to smoke and places that are smoke free. Good luck w/the new show, and your costume, sounds….. ahhh…. interesting.
In your answer to “Chantal Boucher” I think you totally missed the boat. (No pun intended.) Chantal Boucher is oversensitive and is blaming Carnival in advance for the anticipated actions of Carnival passengers that might make him or her feel uncomfortable. And to say that suddenly you’re suddenly made to feel unwelcome because Carnival banned smoking in cabins and the piano bar is a bit over the top. You could easily have said, “I’m sorry you’re afraid that you will be made to feel unwelcome by some passengers who don’t like smoking. You should know that Carnival tries to accommodate both smokers and non-smokers and neither Carnival or Carnival employees will do anything to make you feel uncomfortable or discourage you from smoking in the areas where it is allowed on board.” Instead you had to go on and on about it once again repeating the nonsense about smokers rights. Smokers have the same rights (in the US) as everyone else. And those rights don’t include a right to smoke.
Another great blog, as usual. Just a quick question. We are booking a cruise on Magic for Nov. 20 and are wondering if you are going to be our CD. I sure hope so.
Smokers get over the rule changes, there are still plenty of places to have your fix and not bother anyone. And yes I used to smoke and have no problems at all with the ones that do because if I don’t like it I will move away from you.
John:
I suggest you sit at a table with only one chair when you want to eat alone !
PLEASE REPLY
Am I to understand there is a plant that will help keep your neighbor’s cat from stinking up your garden and perhaps even our porch? I’ve lost of of the daily blog reports lately, so that must have been one of the ones that went MIA.
PLEASE tell me the name of this wonderful plant as our discourteous neighbors apparently have no intention of keeping Stinky home!
Thanks soooooooooooo much!!
Pris
Hi John,
Not sure if you can help, have nowhere else to look.
We cruised on the 12th June, 2011 on the Carnival Magic and my dilemna is that I seem to have misplaced an 8 gig SD Card which near 2,000 photos on it. These are from our time in Madrid, then onto Barcelona and then the cruise up to Naples. Which includes some fantastic photos of Monte Carlo, Rome and Cinque Terra.
I am wondering if I left it behind whether someone has handed it in to lost property. I know it was awhile ago, but we’ve only got home in the last week and I have turned everything upside down, inside out and can’t find it.
If you could possible just check for me I would greatly appreciate it. Our cabin was 6432.
Thanks again.
Kerri B
I don’t think Carnivals smoking policy is tough enough. Oh our last cruise we could not even use our balcony because of the cigar smoke from the next cabin they sat out sucking on them all day and evening.
Texans: Its odd…every cruise from Galveston I’ve been on at least 2 crew members if not more told me eveyone tries to work on a ship that sails from Galveston because the “Texans” are so nice and friendly to them. John, I sailed with you on one of your first cruises from Galveston in 2009…what did YOU think of us? Surely were wern’t as bad as all that!
I was about to book NCL’s Epic transalantic (10/21/11) until I read about the smoke in the rooms and from the casino being a big problem, so switched to the Magic’s transalantic. You can put us in the “Thank You” column for decreasing where smoking is allowed. Having been on two Blogger’s cruises, I know it’s going to be a hoot having you as the CD and that was another reason for switching. Thank you for all you do and no, we do not need anything as we are now Platinum with free laundry.
Just walked off the Dream this morning. The CD (Gary) was awesome, as was the ACD (George). The evening shows were spectacular. The ship is awesome. Getting closer to Platinum status…lol.
What’s with the ban on electronic cigarettes in non-smoking areas? They emit only steam and do not have an offensive odor. They are a viable alternative and have assisted many in stoppng smoking. They have not offended any of my non-smoking friends. I use them in restaurants and malls with no problems.
I don’t have a problem with Texas until a little something called the Red River Rivalry. You see I’m from Norman, OK Home of the Sooners! During that time especially we don’t like Texas or Texans..lol! GO OU, BEAT TEXAS!!
About Texas– They are jealous!! lol We go on Carnival Cruises to have a Good Time and Yes– Party!!! I can not understand why people book cruises on the Funships and then wonder or Complain about a Certain Demographic having Fun. Maybe they should do a little more Research Before they Book a Cruise ?!