I have had a lot of comments on Facebook and here on the blog as well as from my wife that I never ever get off the ship in the ports of call. And you are all right. I don’t. Most of the time it’s because I am too busy answering those same comments on Facebook and the blog and on the phone to Heidi……..oh, plus I have a ship to run, as well. However, last night I did. For some reason I was in the middle of Facebooking about trolls and trying to referee a match between a few Facebookers who just don’t like each other when for some weird reason I stood up……..and without thinking much, I grabbed my ship’s ID, a cigar and some money……walked down to the gangway in Civitavecchia and buggered off. The look on the security team’s face at the gangway was priceless.
“Goodness gracious me,” said one Indian security chap. “Mr. John is getting off the ship, I am standing beside myself.”
Well I only had an hour and a half and jumped on the virtually empty shuttle bus that takes you on a five-minute ride to the gates of the port and the town of Civitavecchia and I walked into the first pizzeria I found. The greeting wasn’t exactly Carnival standard and when I asked for a table for one, a mix of worry, panic and a little pity rolled across the waiters face and I was placed next to the toilets. My fellow diners looked at me as though I must have some terrible disease, bad breath or no friends. They were right on two counts I guess. There were some other crew from the casino but these days they and most of the crew think of me as someone “from the office” or “someone who’s important” and so they don’t talk to me……..just in case. They are this time wrong on both counts. I have nothing but massive amounts of respect for the single cruiser. I see them all the time and I guess it’s easy to think that they must be looking for love, or getting over lost love. Yet I suppose some are single cruisers because they love travelling alone.
Anyway, this was a very strange pizzeria. I ordered pizza, I know I shouldn’t as I am off carbs but for some reason I was feeling really blue and with no friends to join me and my girls many hundreds of miles away I thought bugger it and asked my waiter whose name tag said his name was Sergio to bring me a spicy Pizza Diablo – spicy tomato sauce and salami. I then noticed that mine and many other of the red leather/plastic seats we were sitting on were slashed. Had this been the sight of a Mafia war?
My pizza arrived 10 minutes later and it was bloody awful. I had been depressed and wanted some comfort food, the first I would have eaten in many weeks. There was some very sad looking slices of curled up salami on what I suppose, you could describe as pizza bread. But only if you were mad. Let me put it this way: if I threw it at you in a food fight, it would take your head clean off. Think of that Japanese chap that could behead people with his hat in the James Bond movie………..that was my pizza.
And so I nibbled around the edges and sipped on my Diet Coke — or Cola Light as they call it in Italy — and then it was time to go back to the Carnival Magic. But not before a quick number one. And so I went into the toilet which from my table took five steps……..yes, I counted. I was expecting a hole in the ground but in fact it was a proper toilet. But maybe a hole-in-the-ground-style Italian toilet would have been better. The seat was covered in urine. Now I put the occasional splash mark on the lid at home and in my cabin as Heidi and Ketut will tell you. But bloody hell. How do they all miss the bowl by such an enormous margin?
So, that was my trip off the ship. I know a lot of blog readers who eat out on their own and cruise on their own and do so with confidence and I admire you all for that. Yes, the pizza was awful and yes I realised that I had no real friends on board who were my age and who understood what it is I do and who I am. Yes, my table was near the bathroom and yes my seat was slashed and yes the toilet seat looked like it had been bombed by the French air force and had missed. But I relaised as I sat there that I had achieved my goal. Because the whole point of eating alone……. is not to talk to people. And for just one hour……..that was absolute heaven.
Time to talk now though to those who have asked questions……….away we go.
Diane Pyne asked:
Hey John,When will they change the Las Vegas show on the Freedom. I have sailed this ship before and want to sail again in January 2012
John says:
Hello Diane Pyne,The usual shelf life of a show on our ships is about five years. Changing them is a huge event and, of course, a big expense. The ship has probably our best show, the Beatles review called Ticket to Ride. However, while the shows featuring the dancers will be the same the variety shows and the performers in the Punchliner comedy club will be different I am sure. If you write to me a few weeks before you sail I will be able to tell you who will be performing.
Best wishes.
John
Peter Mohr asked:
Dear John,THANK YOU! Yes it was a shout; I hope that’s alright. A while ago I sent an email asking if The Chef’s Table was offered on the Carnival Elation, as my wife and I would be celebrating our tenth anniversary with our first cruise. I realize that you are incredibly busy (actually, after being on board I am amazed that, as a cruise director you have time for the blog) so didn’t know if you would have time to read it. Words fall short of how special and truly appreciated you made my wife and I feel when we received a call from the maitre d’ on the first night of the cruise asking if we would like to take part in The Chef’s Table! In point of fact, the entire cruise was simply BRILLIANT! The crew was amazing! Not just the attention to detail which was meticulous, but also in the fact that each and every one seemed genuinely pleased to be able to offer assistance.
If I could share a story – it was embarkation day, quite busy. We had gone through VIP check in (again – BRILLIANT!) and made our way to Tiffany’s and found a table. I went to the bar and asked for a soda for my wife and an O’Douls and tomato juice for myself. The bartender explained that the tomato juice wasn’t cold but that she could check around other bars if I liked. I knew how incredibly busy it was and that the cruise hadn’t even started yet, so I thanked her and said that I would be happy to come back later. We parted smiling. Imagine my delight when, about 10 minutes later the same bartender found our table in that crowded room and brought me a glass of cold tomato juice, an O’Douls, and a glass of ice!! I was so delighted and surprised that I just fawned over how wonderful she was; she was quite gracious. I am so delighted to say that this was the NORM, not an exception! And when the chef came to our table in the dining room to introduce himself and talk to us for a bit, we felt on top of the world! The chef, by the way could not have been a nicer, more gracious man and the entire Chef’s Table experience was so incredible that words fall short. I was able to attend only the first part of the event, having become indisposed for some reason (can one get seasick on a calm day? Apparently so) however my wife stayed at my request and was simply blown away!
The next day I was feeling well and as we walked the ship we stopped to ask a crew member where something was located (Sushi bar). Her name was Elena and she asked if I was feeling better, even knowing my name! I told her that I was and that I was amazed she knew that I had been ill. She replied that she was friends with the maitre d’ and that both he and the chef were worried that I would be well. You know, the Carnival Elation is simply a beautiful vessel. The physical beauty however falls far short of the genuine concern and true beauty of the people you have crewing her. I am most pleased to say that you have made two more Carnival cruisers for life!
Thank you so much again!
John says:
Hello Peter Mohr,I could read reviews like this all day long, Peter, and thank you so very much for taking the time to write it. I will pass on all you have said to the ship. I was sorry to read you were seasick but that things definitely got better and that The Chef’s Table was a huge highlight of the cruise. And Elena will love seeing her name here. Thanks again and I hope that if there is anything you need before you sail again that you will let me know. This was a brilliant review and I am thrilled that we have “two more Carnival cruisers for life!”
Best wishes.
John
Cassie Shriver asked:
John,I took your advice and went to see the ruins of Chitunintza on a ship excursion. The ruins themselves are spectacular as you said but you did not mention when you answered my question that every building would be roped off. Not being able to get anywhere near the structures would have been a big enough let down but add in a constant barrage of “only one dollar” from locals lining every walkway selling tatty tourist crap made this a very bad day out. I spoke to Nenad the shore excursion officer for a full refund but they rudely refused and now I have written to Carnival expecting that refund immediately. You should have warned me when I booked that the main pyramid was roped off and you could not climb it and as you did not provide what was offered then I should get my money back. Once that happens I shall not be reading your blog or asking for your advice ever again.
John says:
Hello Cassie Shriver,I am trying desperately to remember what I said about the ruins that you visited. I am sure I did give it high praise because as you said yourself, they are “spectacular.” I obviously had no way of knowing that the pyramid would be roped off and that you not climb it so I am checking now with our shore excursion department to see if this was mentioned in the description on board. I am sorry that this happened and someone will be in touch soon from our Miami office to inquire further. I feel really sad that you won’t be reading the blog again and hope that you had a brilliant cruise despite this concern. Once again, my sincere apologies.
Best wishes.
John
BakerFamilyInCanada asked:
John,I heard and saw something that Carnival may take away past guest parties and iniatives (spelt correctly) unless you have traveled a minimum amount of cruises. My family lives in Alberta, Canada and airfare is a factor so cruising 2-3 times a year is not an option nor is every year, but we do so every second year; but if an amazing deal came up we would probably take advantage of it. I love showing up and my last cruise in January on the Valor our 2nd and getting that “Gold Card” and also receiving the invitation to the past guest party made my family feel special as well as the other 2,000 guests. Tell me this is not true as we are booking for the Liberty in Jan. 2013. Also could you let me know when Carnival Airlines will be up and running because that would make the start of my vacation even better.
Just wishing. Truly appreciate who and what you are….. A great voice for Carnival and a real human being.
John says:
Hello The BakerFamilyInCanada,Let me say straight away that there are no plans to stop the past guest parties. I did discuss on my blog and my Facebook page the subject of maybe increasing attendance to three cruises rather than two and to see if we could and should provide a separate gathering for Platinum and Milestone guests, but so far there are no definite plans for this. I know that it’s easier for some people to cruise than others and while we spread the ships around as many home ports as we can I know that Canadians will, for the most part, always have to fly. So please don’t worry, we will always respect those that have cruised before and I am excited to see that you have booked Carnival Liberty which when you cruise……will have some very exciting things on board indeed.
Thanks for the kind words. Best wishes to all the family.
John
Chris A asked:
Hi John,Do you think that the ships of Carnival will one day get rid of the planned seatings and go only with anytime dining? I read an article today on Cruise Critic that says that Royal Caribbean will announce this soon. I love having the same waiter every night and hope that Carnival does not go this way. What can you tell me?
John says:
Hello Chris A,I had not heard that about RCI but I can tell you that Your Time Dining here at Carnival is getting more and more popular and we are looking at giving more space over to those who want that. Say thing this I know that many still prefer assigned dining and one of the main reasons for this is that they have the same waiter and therefore I have not heard of any plans to stop the assigned sitting.
Best wishes.
John
Kendra Coughlin asked:
Hi John,The Fantasy cruise ship cruises from Charleston and cruises full of Southerners so why is there no country band and why no country breakfast. I couldn’t get any biscuits and gravy, fried potaties and the grits did not have enough butter in them and they never had cheese grits. Most of your passengers were very displeased about this. Our waiter was Silbia and she was good but on two nights the service was very slow and we were in the dining room for two hours on the formal night which is way too long. We had to wait for our dessert because of the stupid dancing they do which is something most passengers don’t care about. I suggest Carnival looks at who is cruising on their ships and what it is they want and expect.
John says:
Hello Kendra Coughlin,Thanks for taking the time to write. I have to say that I was surprised when I read your comment because I have always thought that with various styles of eggs cooked to order, scrambled, fried and omelets along with eggs Benedict, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, cold cuts, cheeses, a variety of fruit, cereal, grits, breads, bagels, croissants, yogurts and various breakfast specials that we actually have a good variety of choice for the first meal of the day. I also respectfully have always enjoyed trying new things when I am on vacation rather than what I am used to at home. But that’s me and I do understand that we have a lot of people from the South sailing on Carnival Fantasy and I will put your suggestions forward. I have to disagree when you say that “most passengers don’t care about the dancing in the dining rooms” as from what I have seen over the years most do love the atmosphere this creates. However, I do realise that this slows down service and I apologise that this happened. I do hope you had a great cruise and thanks again for the suggestions which as I said I will push forward. Ummmmmm……….what are “fried potaties?” Is that like French Fries?
Best wishes.
John
Allie Zarley asked:
Hello John,Last year for my 50th birthday, my brother took me on the Halifax, St. Johns cruise, out of New York. Oh My… What a wonderful time we had. Stateroom… Perfect! Late seating dinner … Perfect! Shows on board…Perfect! Staff…Perfect! I have recently been to visit my brother in Maryland. At night he would be sitting in front of his computer (not in his underwear) I asked him what he was doing? He said reading your blog. I said, oh really, please read it to me. Thus began are nightly routine. I know you have been under the gun this past week for all the changes the beards have made. Well, may I say I AM A DIE HARD SMOKER!! Seems to me smokers should be saying….At least there are a few spots where we can still smoke on board, and they didn’t go totally smoke free.
I had such a great time on this cruise, I will adjust my smoking to fit your ship!!! I have been on other cruise lines, and enjoyed there cruises very much, but I will truly have to say, if I can get there on Carnival then Carnival is the line I will take. I’m thinking about booking a cruise for my son and I when he gets back from Afghanistan (my husband will not be attending, as he is one of those hard headed smokers, his loss). Carnival is doing a great job, and smokers need to be more “flexible for the fun” they will have on one of your cruise’s. I will now be reading your blog, as my brother has gotten me hooked on them. You are doing a great job, keep it up. Draw strength from your family as people continue to complain, be strong.
Thank you for your time.
Allie Zarley (A happy Carnival smoker)
John says:
Hello Allie Zarley,I realise that smoking has been a big issue and some of the changes have been hard to take, not just for the guests but for me, as well. Change is never easy to accept but change is something we have to live with even if we don’t agree with it. It is therefore refreshing to see a note from a smoker who appreciates the fact that on the Carnival ships we still have places where smokers can enjoy what they love and although we (I) lament the passing of the beloved cigar bars at least there are still places where smokers can unite. It was a joy to read your posting and I hope we do indeed see you again on one of our ships and please thank your son for his service and I wish him a safe return home. I am so thrilled you had fun on the ship and if there is anything I can do for you please let me know and I hope you continue to enjoy the blog thingy.
Best wishes to all the family.
John
Linkman 111 asked:
John,Have you noticed how your blog has attracted all the fat people. Maybe the obese have found their poster child which makes me laugh out loud. Here is my question King Fatty. Check out cabin 7399 on the Conquest. I just got off the ship and the corners of the bathroom were full of dirt. I told the cabin steward but nothing changed and the drawers were not clean as were the closets. The only positive from this trip was the food quality which has improved since we last cruised Carnival.
John says:
Hello Linkman 111,Thanks for the information and I am glad that you enjoyed the food and saw an improvement since you last sailed with us. I apologise for the concerns you found in the cabin and I have sent this note to the hotel director on the Carnival Conquest so he can make sure the corners are cleaned. I will also ask him to look inside your dirty drawers.
Best wishes.
John
Tim D asked:
John,As always, thank you for doing your blog, certainly one of the most enjoyable parts of my day. I’ve heard you discuss the “new” guest loyalty program rolling out next year and am curious how this will change my status with CCL. I’ve taken 9 cruises and my next one will be as a platinum guest under the current program. Will I still qualify for platinum under the new program?
Thanks!
Tim
John says:
Hello Tim D,Thanks for the kind words and I am glad you enjoy the blog thingy so much. It seems I have been talking about the “new loyalty program” for a long, long time now and yet we still have not announced the new policies. It will be announced at the start of next year and there are some new benefits that I know everyone will appreciate. I wish I could go into details but I can’t yet but I promise as a loyal Carnival customer it will be a program you enjoy a lot. The new Platinum gift starts December 1 and is a beautiful key chain and luggage tag set. As soon as I can I will let you know more and until then thanks for your continued loyalty.
Best wishes.
John
Becky Durkin asked:
John,I was wondering who will be the cruise director for the Magic in January? We are sailing the 15th. I can only see through December on the CD schedule you have posted. Thank you so much for the information.
John says:
Hello Becky Durkin,I will have the new CD schedule posted in September but I can tell you that I will be returning here to your Carnival Magic on January 29 until early April. Before that the ship will have James Charlton as the cruise director. I hope we get to sail together soon.
Best wishes.
John
That’s all for today and thanks for the comments and opinions.
It’s been a strange couple of days. Yesterday while the guests were ashore in Rome there was a bit of a concern here about the place from where I am writing from. I don’t mean my cabin, although there is definitely a concern in my bathroom right now for sure. No, the concern was this email we received yesterday morning:
From: MAGIC CAPTAIN
Sent: Tuesday, July 26, 2011 11:47 AM
To:(CCL)
Subject: FW: PROBLEMA CON ORMEGGIO CARNIVAL MAGIC LIVORNO 27/07/2011Good Morning,
As per our conversation I have been advised by our agent in Livorno to get in contact with them.
Practically just today we get informed by Livorno PA that we don’t have Pier in Livorno?
I am already in touch with the agents in Livorno where they are both working to find a solution.
Thanks and Best Regards,
Captain Giovanni Cutugno
So why didn’t we have a pier? Well obviously our itineraries are set months and months in advance and pier space is booked. However this is Italy and Italy is a country where anything can happen. The reason we didn’t have a pier is that there was cargo ship in our place and Livorno is a huge cargo port and cargo ships get priority. The end. In fact, I was told that twice this year a RCI ship has been told it could not dock and has had to go to a place called La Spezia where she had to tender guests ashore in order for them to see Tuscany, Florence, etc. So yesterday, right up until late afternoon we were all making plans for a day at sea. We looked at other options like going to Naples first and then back to Livorno. This was not possible as there was no space available. We looked at La Spezia but tendering 4,500 guests ashore is not a good option. So we sat on board hoping that the senior beards at Carnival could exert enough pressure on the Livorno Port Authority to move the cargo ship so we could dock. And they did. I have no idea how they did it. Maybe they did it by good old fashioned negotiation or maybe they threatened the port with a pair of my underpants. I have no idea what happened but I was glad that when the guests returned from Rome they didn’t have to listen to me tell them tomorrow’s call to Livorno was buggered.
It was also a strange night as not only did I suddenly and without warning find myself getting off the ship but when I returned I had to face the wrath of an upset guest. She had been at the Trevi Fountain with her husband and two children and her mother and father-in-law. They were taking photos at this beautiful spot when a gentleman in a smart suit asked if they would like him to take a family shot. They did. She handed him the camera and as soon as she did he was off ….. sprinting into the crowd, down a side street and was gone — with their $400 Cannon camera. And it was my fault.
It’s easy in situations like this to take it personally and perhaps a few years ago I may have done. But those days are long since gone and I know now that whether it’s in person on board or in writing here on the blog, that when people vent they are doing so because I make myself available to them to do so. I stand on stage and tell the guests that if there is anything I can do to help them to write me a Dear John letter and so I have nobody else to blame. I know some cruise directors say that they are in charge of entertainment but bugger all else so that they don’t have to deal with situations like this, but I can’t do that. While this lady shouted at me on the phone, I sat there, in my underpants knowing she was upset about her own silliness and was using me as per my invitation as a punch bag to release her emotions.
This is also I think, and I say this with respect…..a North American thing. Let me explain. British people are for the most part very reserved and very rarely do we say what we mean and never do we complain. In restaurants British people are more frightened of being humiliated by a waiter than of the consequences of consuming bad food. It’s the same with opinions…..British people very rarely will give a stranger an opinion about how they look, how they act or on what they say unless they are members of their own family.
Americans and to some extent Canadians, well you are a different story. I love the freshness of the no holds barred “say what you mean” attitude. For example…. you have no idea how many guests have come up to me over the years and said “How much money has the casino taken in this week?” or “Hey, you need to lose weight you fat bastard.” This one is often followed up with “I can help you lose weight.” And then, as I am British and a cruise director, I can’t tell them to bugger off and mind their own business so instead I have to stand there and listen to advice from people who I have never met before. This has now manifested itself here on the blog as well as you have seen these past few months.
Anyway, back to Mrs. Cannon and there is little we can do for this lady. She told a police officer and was given a crime number for her insurance (which I hope she has) and I will add this warning to my travel talk from now on. It’s the first time I have heard of this although I expect it happens a lot. Pickpockets are everywhere in Europe. Rome is bad though and if you are coming here to your Carnival Magic or next year on the Carnival Breeze watch out for thieves around the Trevi Fountain or the Pantheon where pickpockets will nab your purse with a quick snip of scissors or clever handiwork with the zipper. Las Ramblas in Barcelona is the other bad place with the wide pedestrian walkway the perfect place to get your purse poached. I had my cell phone stolen from there a few years ago. It was sitting on table and while Heidi and I were munching on some tapas, two young women holding a baby came up and tried to pass the baby to us asking for money. This was the distraction as a few minutes later I noticed the phone had gone. These are beautiful cities and they should be on everyone’s bucket list but as in any big city a bit of street smarts is required.
So it’s been a strange few days what with all of the above and the gentleman of small stature who I upset with my midget golf reference. Things have changed so much these days you know. I just don’t remember there being all these complaints back in the 90s. I mean look, we did the beer-drinking contest, the wet T-shirt contest, the Male Nightgown contest and I told jokes that today I would never dare tell. Take this lady who I upset here on the blog.
Adriane S asked:
John,Your comments about dress code really made me angry. I have seen a steady decline in the average Carnival customer and as a Platinum passenger the fact that you do not enforce dress codes and now allow jeans makes me think hard if I should go to Royal Caribbean or another line. People with class and style like to dress for dinner and should not have to accept people in jeans and T-shirts. Trust me John you do not speak for your average passenger. I am sailing on the Carnival Dream in July and I hope I see some improvement in the dress code enforcement than I did on the Carnival Freedom this past January.
John says:
Hello Adrianne S,
Thanks for taking the time to write and I do realise that my opinion is mine alone and I would never dare suggest that it is shared by the masses. My feelings on dress code have been well documented here but as I said before this is just my opinion and I agree that we need to do a better job on some ships enforcing the rules we have. I hope you do have a wonderful time on the Carnival Dream and most importantly we all appreciate your loyalty and hope that you will continue to sail with us.
Best wishes.
John
So there you go, my comments on dress code have upset a loyal guest and again, that’s my fault. I still don’t understand why it matters what someone else is wearing? Does the fact that he just has an open-necked shirt on during elegant night make your steak taste of baboon scrotum…… no, of course it doesn’t. Now, if that man was wearing no shirt at all and spent the entire dinner rubbing chocolate melting cake into his chest then yes………I can see that you would have every right to call the maitre d and complain.
These days you never know who you are going to upset. You could give me any subject matter: Helping people, midget golf, smoking or tables for two and I bet that after half an hour I would hear from someone who was prepared to be angry about it. The problem is simple. If you say, in public, that you would like to see that bastard who killed all those people in Norway be thrown into a pit of starving lions and eaten alive then someone in an attic with a website will jump on my case and say what a bastard I am for saying this.
Unfortunately in the current climate it is no longer possible to express an opinion or make light of the world we live in because you are bound to upset a pressure group that then runs around waving its arms in the air and calling for you to be fired.
When I first started paying attention to the Facebook page it was based on the advice of our super spy PA 007. That was a year ago when my only worry then was that someone might post a photo of me naked with a rose sticking out of my bottom. Or that an ex-girlfriend would tell the world that my thingy was the size of a baby carrot. But I have seen these past days that Facebook can be a cruel, public arena in which friends, family and colleagues can spread gossip and tell the world that you like to dress in women’s clothes and that you once did naughty things to a goat.
A bitchy remark that once might have been whispered behind backs suddenly carries an electronic legacy that could I guess hurt someone immensely. I have people on the page who don’t like each other and have no problems saying they don’t. I have to be careful at the moment as there have been a few trolls who have tried to start some arguments on the page. And while I will never ever suppress opinions, heated or not, comments that involve personal victimisation will be deleted and the author banned for all eternity.
Sorry then for this rambling blog. It’s been a strange few days as I have said. I have a lady who has basically said I should pop down to Best Buy and pay for a new camera. I sent her a fruit basket by the way and in it I placed a disposable camera. I hope she appreciates this.
And later today I have to meet the man of diminutive stature who is apparently upset about the time it took last night to get a table at dinner on YTD. He had a 20-minute wait and now I am his best mate he wants to tell me all about it. Rome night when everyone returns at the same time is always the busiest. However, he isn’t “happy” and that means another 20 minutes of him shouting at me and wagging his finger in my waist.
Goodnight.
Your friend,
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
LOL……. I am standing beside myself. That is just priceless!
Adrianne S,
Jeans have ALWAYS been allowed on Carnival. If you had ever been on a Carnival cruise before, you would know this. Enjoy Royal Chump with the rest of the chimps.
I wear jeans to Dinner on RCI too and casual slacks on Formal Night : )
I Agree with you BZ, If that person had any class she would have learned that what others wear should not effect how you enjoy or not enjoy a cruise. She was very Class-less because People with real class don’t give a hoot what other do or wear.
Bill, I always thought that jeans were not allowed on elegant nights, but were allowed for all the other nights.
The dining room is only elegant for 1 or 2 nights, depending on cruise length and if you don’t want to dress, then eat else where. If I can get my 3 year old boys to wear a nice suit and tie an adult should be able to do the same. Elegant is defined differently for people and that is why carnival has a written rule as to what should be worn…therefore it should be enforced!! What if I showed up in a swim suit and cover-up on non elegant nights?? I could always argue that my body is completely covered (with a cover up) and what I wear shouldn’t affect the taste of your food…same as not dressing on elegant night. I can see this happening in the future if the current dress code isn’t enforced!!
Everyone on the ship paid for the adventure. Some prefer to enjoy their vacation in a more casual mode as they are required to wear suits/ties in their daily life. And who really wants to add an additional suitcase to cart the “elegant” attire around?
We have done 16 Carnival cruises and basically I don’t care what anyone wears. BUT, on formal night when I see a male allowed in the dining room in board shorts, a scruffy tank top and flip flops, well, that’s not right! The last cruise in March, we had a guy at a table behind us, covered in tatoos, tank top, shorts, baseball cap (which he was not asked to remove)and this was also a formal night. THESE are the times I care what someone is wearing. Jeans and a nice top/shirt – nope!
You Rock Big Daddy…..
John,
When you first started this blog-thingy a couple years back, I was concerned about your workload doing CD and Mr. Bloggy stuff. I think you must have gotten that figured out (you’re still here I think ) Now I’m wondering how long you can be the good Englishman (and/or sometimes punching bag). Constantly being a scapegoat takes it toll. I know you’re thick skinned (I mean in the figurative sense), and I hope this bloggy thing is actually a good outlet. Keepinf you from one day turning into (picture the cartoon TAZ) a spinning whirlwind of death in underpants unleashing your fury on the person who last said the incorrectly placed salt shakers were your fault.
All in all, the worst part of your day (if I were living it) was the bad pizza… oh the humanity.
hang in there.
capt chuck
John, I will be on the Liberty in October with you so I am finding you and taking you to one of the ports. You do not have to be alone. We will have a good time. Cheere
Dianna,
I’ll be on the 22nd cruise as well and really am looking forward to an opt to meet John.
Hello John:
I enjoy your blogs. They are a study in human diversity. Some people are jerks and some aren’t. Its that simple. I get a kick out of how demanding some are, there was a rope around the pyramid, I want a refund, and when I get it, I am gone for good!
I thought I would use an alias to write this comment to see if it made me write something outrageous. Well, it hasn’t come over me yet. But it seems that some folks let loose a little more when they hide behind a screen name. Like the guy who has dirty drawers.
I am still chuckling over he is not Happy is he?
Have a great day and try to get off the ship once in a while, its the law! Heidi put me up to it.
Your Friend
Bill Heck
Hi john had a great week on your ship magic we got off on 24th july our first cruise despite rough first night and last night we really enjoyed it my daughter loves u and wants to go on breeze next year. Will u be on breeze. Been reading your blog since we got back some people just like to moan it is explained if u pick ant time dining u may have to wait we never had problem with it. We had couple of issues but wouldn’t run to yourself just spoke to crew who were very apologetic Alberto our room steward was great thaNks john for great week.
Hi John,
I really needed a good laugh today. Thanks a lot. Honestly, what was that woman thinking! I feel really bad for her, but you never give a camera to a stranger! I thought it was a very nice gesture with the disposable camera and I hope she did appreciate it.
Thanks again for the laughs
Jess
I thought it was just common sense to not give your camera to anyone unless you know them to snap a pic especially in a tourist area. At least she did not request your expert photog accompany her the rest of the cruise snapping her vaca memories. I know friends who travel w/a disposable camera for group shots because they know if the take the change on asking a stranger to take a pic of them then they only run the risk of loosing a $5-10 camera verses $100+ camera. Plus what thief would want a lowly disposable camera
Kendra–my husband will love you…he, too, complains that no ship we have ever sailed on (6 so far) has had biscuits and gravy (I mean good white gravy, not the thin brown stuff). We’re from Tennessee and that is a staple for breakfast. John, fried potatoes are not french fries. French fries are deep fried and plain ole fried potatoes are just that–fried, not deep fried, preferably with a little chopped onion in them. Come to Tennessee and I’ll prepare some for you!! Now as far as the dancing in the dining room is concerned, that is a high point of my dinnertime. It’s fun and hilarious and a joy to watch.
Linkman….how dare you make fun of fat people. We all have vices, and you, kind sir, have more than one, starting with stupidity!
Adriane….not everyone enjoys dressing up for an hour or so just for dinner. When one works, it is a necessity to dress up every day, so when on vacation, that’s just what it is..VACATION!!!
John, you’re an angel. Don’t ever change what you are doing and how you are doing it. You are a joy to all of us who follow you on this blog and FB.
Reference the trolls. One of the worst that puts down people is using a name other than her own. Candy Cane is nothing but a useless old fart male hiding behind a picture of something sexy. He loves to be cruel to others and is one you should get rid of instead of encourage. He is a regular on Cruise critic who always causes trouble
If Candy Cane were banished wouldn’t he just change names and come back? At least we know who he is and can ignore him.
on the FB, can you click on him and block him from apprearing on your screen? I’ve don that w/some people I’m friends w/that tend to post request for the games they play
John forgot to ask when doing my comments would it be normally as rough as it was last week as I know july cruises next year r for 12 days
On Chitchen Itza, people need to accept responsibility for their own decisions. No refund for you. Do your own research next time. It has been years and years since people have been allowed to climb the more interesting places there.
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/CarnivalTriumph/prog/progSept8.htm
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/CarnivalTriumph/prog/progSept8a.htm
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/CarnivalTriumph/prog/progSept8b.htm
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/CarnivalTriumph/prog/progSept8c.htm
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/CarnivalTriumph/prog/progSept8d.htm
At Uxmal, you still can climb some.
http://www.zydecocruiser.com/Blog_2009/prog/indexProg.htm
All I can say is….God Bless you John, and keep up the GREAT Blog Thingy….I Love it!!
I enjoy traveling as a single, I don’t cruise to look for love or to get over any, I cruise with Carnival (30 times) because it is such a great value for a vacation, even paying double the cruise price. My main reason to cruise is to relax and enjoy myself.
Wow, isn’t that the truth! I’m nearing my 25th cruise with just Carnival! You are never alone on a cruise and you get to do whatever you want to do whenever! I just wish I didn’t have to pay double, carnival use to have 1A at 150% why did that have to change? I only eat for one! Really!
John trivia just for you:
Why the Britt’s wear red coats
During the recent royal wedding, the millions around the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform that included the famous British “red coat.” Many people have asked, “why did the British wear red coats in battle?”
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. During one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him.
Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked, “Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don’t you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?”
In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed the General that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won’t show, and the men they are leading won’t panic.
And that is why, from that day forward, all French Army officers wear brown trousers
too funny!!!!
That was great, can’t stop laughing.
OMG that is too funny.
Oh my–that was great! John should love it!
hilarious!!!! my anti-french co-workers will love it
ROFL
Fried potatoes are usually potatoes cubed and cooked in pan with butter or oil. Sometimes onions and bacon are cooked into it. Very good – full of carbs.
As far as the dress code. I remember when my son was in elementary school there was research done on dress and behavior. The research showed that behavior was better when the subjects were dressed up. I really don’t know if that is still the case…but something to think about.
I personally like the idea of being able to wear a pair of jeans to dinner. I do it as often as I can here at home.
why are some people so rude it is true british people do not speak out .
Hi Doreen – yes it’s true, to a degree. But I think we are becoming less reserved and complaining more. As the world gets smaller, all cultures assimilate other cultural traits and the Brits are starting to sue more – pushing up the cost of our insurance etc. We have lost a lot of our Britishness in recent years – which personally, I miss.
Nikki (an ex crew mate of John’s – 10 years ago….)
as always, I sit here (almost in my underpants, I do have a nightshirt on) laughing out loud. Thank you….I enjoy your blogs so much!
Although I’m sure I’m in the vast minority, I am one cruiser who would be very happy if the singing and dancing in the dining room came to an end. That is a nightly event that I simply endure so that I can enjoy all that the rest of cruising on Carnival brings me. But since the subject came up today, I have to share that I cringe every time it begins and cannot wait until it’s over.
As a first time cruiser and having already missed out on so many things that have changed through the years. I would be disappointed if the MDR entertainment was taken away.
Both Bruce and I were raised to dress according to the place and atmosphere and it truly baffles both of us how someone can enter just a fine setting as the MDR in anything less the what the dress code is set at by CCL.
Thank You John for all you do!
Harry, I am one that truly enjoys the singing and dancing during dinnertime. My favorite night is the last night of the cruise, that is the best of all of them. On my last cruise I asked our waiter if they got complaints about the singing and he said that they might only get 3 or 4 each week, I then asked him if he enjoyed doing it and he said “YES” because it makes the guests smile. If you don’t like it, then ask for a table in an area that you can’t see it.
John,
I’m sorry it’s been a tough week for you and all I can say, is “hang in there.” Just know there are many of us out there shaking our heads at the audacity of so many people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. HUGS!
Sharon
God Bless you…I couldn’t and wouldn’t do your job. I hope Carnival pays you a lot!
John:
While I am glad you for off the ship, I am sorry to hear that it was such a disappointing meal.
I know it is difficult when the aggrevating side of your job seems overwhelming….but please remember that for every unreasonable complainer, every oversensitive child and every ignorant arse that you have to deal with….
there are 1,000′s (yes 1,000′s) of individuals who appreciate what you do.
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Hi John just saw your post on facebook re the piano bar – yes it should be 21 and over IMHO.
Hi John, just want to say we booked the first sailing on the Carnival Breeze and can’t wait to see you and the gang again. Once again, we met you at the Red Frog Pub(hubby was smoking his cigar) on the Magic on its third sailing. Hope Calvyn and Ryan from Chicago are there also. Find us at the Red Frog Pub and I will make sure hubby parts with one of his cigars for you. We know we will have a great time.
to Linkman 111: Who the hell are you and why do you think John’s Blog has “attracted all the fat people”???? It’s not like there are pictures of everyone. There are thousands of us whom I guess you would to be “normal”. By the way, I’m 5’8″ and 140 pounds. I guess since I am loyal to Mr. Heald, that must be considered fat.
John
You are right about me being upset with the idea of throwing that Norwegian S.O.B. into a pit of starving lions. He might give them indigestion, and that would be bad for them.
Lester
LOL, plus PETA would get involved w/the cruelty to animals. Feeding him to the critters would be to good for him.
Adriane S
I do not believe a person with class would concern themselves with what other people are wearing as their energies would be focused on their own appearance and behavior. I certainly do not see the need to bring up your platinum status like it somehow makes you better than the rest of us. I do feel sorry for you as I think you are missing out on a great deal of fun with your worries. You have my best wishes for a great cruise on the Carnival Dream.
I agree. My family of seven were so busy enjoying our dinner and each others company that I didn’t notice what everyone else was wearing or not wearing. I like the elegant dinner and we all dressed in suits/dresses but it cost me a lot of money to buy dress clothes for everyone to wear and some people may be spending all they have just to get on the ship. They should have some basic guidelines but it’s not our place to judge others by their clothes, as we don’t know everyones situation and where they are coming from.
I agree with you. We also like to dress up because it is fun but we are so busy having a good time that a person at the next table could wear a garbage bag and I may not notice.
thanks for a great blog john!
John -Seeing the comments on Dress Code and people saying they should go on RCI where they enforce the dress code is a bunch of crap! I am one who would rather not dress up and I have never been rejected wearing Jeans to the dining room – Carnival, RCI, NCL or Holland America. With baggage rules it is even more discouraging to bring dressy clothes!
Awe John, wish I could reach out and give you a big hug! You sound like you need it!!
You still have thousands… MILLIONS of fans that love you and your sense of humour! (haha)
Keep up the great work!!!
((((((( JOHN )))))))
Not a real hug, but it will have to do!
Cassie,
Seriously? You demanded a refund because something was not what you told it would be? First, did you ever stop to think that the pyramid being roped off was a change since John (or someone from the excursion team) had gone? Stop being a whiny brat, get over yourself and act like an adult. Sh*t happens and you deserve no refund just because life is unfair. BOO HOO.
Kendra,
Paula Deen does not cook the meals on any Carnival ships so quit complaining about the lack of butter. It is OK to take your time eating while you are on vacation. Enjoy a conversation with someone, look around the Dinig Room, lighten up a little bit. There is no need to shovel food into your piehole as fast as possible. Did you truly ask a majority of the guests on the ship about the Dining Room entertainment? Where is the data to back up your claim that most people do not care about the dancing? Quit talking for others.
Linkman,
Do you some special power that allows you to see everyone who reads the blog? How do you know that all fat people read the blog? Were you at the fat people meeting? I have been on the Conquest and did not find any issues with the cleanliness of the cabins. I think that you are a insecure person who needs to find fault with everything and everyone so no one notices your faults. (Guess what? It doesn’t work. Everyone knows you are an azz.)
Adriane,
Explain to me how I have no class or style because I choose to wear a nice pair of jeans, polished cowboy boots, a nice long sleeve shirt (which I usually wear with a suit), and a nice sports coat? It’s my choice to dress comfortably while I am on vacation and I dare say that I still look stylish. (Cowboy style) Just because we dont run in the same circles doesn’t mean that you are any better than me or I am any better than you… We are just different. Accept that not everyone is like you (Thank Goodness, otherwise everyone would have their heads buried up their azz)
Hi John,
Climing El Castillo at Chichen Itza has been eliminated for a few years now following the death of a woman who fell off in 2006. I’m surprised that this isn’t more well known. I was lucky to have been able to climb El Castillo in 2002 before it was closed. I love ya, John, but again, research some of this stuff before giving a talk on it!
John, This post was hilarious! My wife is watching “So You Think You Can Dance” and I am sitting next to her uncontrollably laughing at your words. I have been reading your blog for several years and am amazed by it every time. I am leaving on the Legend next week and after reading this blog, I may just have to rub the chocolate melting cake all over my body with my shirt off. Hahaha, that is priceless.
All the best,
Brett
Hi John. I feel sorry for that lady who lost her $400 camera but what did you expect? Unfortunately there are criminals everywhere. Her idea was excellent but I would have looked for another cruiser on our ship and asked them to take the picture. I never pass my camera to a complete unknown stranger unless they are are also guests on my ship.
Regarding finding a washroom facility, I’ve asked for a washroom and all the time I’ve had to either buy something or pay $0.50 or $1.00. It’s either pay or wet your pants. I guess that’s life when you visit a port.
John, I would hope that you could get off the ship just to break the monotony of being on the ship every day.
Time to go to sleep now my friend. Enjoy tomorrow.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
A lot of us have handed our camera to a stranger in order to get a picture of our whole family together. It never crossed my mind that someone would run off with it, call me naive I guess. I’ll be more careful about this in the future. We all have to take responsibility for our own behavior though. I would never expect CCL to be responsible for my bad decision.
John you continue to entertain me on a daily basis. Maybe the pizza slashed your chair! The camera was a nice touch for the unhappy woman…
I am sure John knows what ‘fried potatoes’ are. He was poking some good-natured fun at Kendra for her spelling error. She called them ‘fried potaties’
Dear john
you do a wonderful job, THANK YOU.
Please do not allow stupid, ingrate, uneducated, selfish people steal your peace.
CCL is the cruise line for middle class working people all over the world. When on Vacation we look foward to relaxing having fun and trying new things. Those that complaint endlesly and demand do not belong here say thank you and let them go they will become someone elses nightmare, there are more of us than there are of them. They will eventually return with their heads down praising Carnival.
One more thing Please have an IT person show you where the DELETE key is, and learn to use it.
Keep on writting we will keep on reading.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Cassie Shriver: Dont be ridiculous!! How is John going to know that the piramid was roped? I wish you could read your letter again and see how ridiculous it sounds. You are not different from all those others that blame John for everything out of his control. If you do not come back to the blog, that will be your loss. But blaming John for something that he has no control over it, is just plain and simple, RIDICULOUS!
Allie Zarley: Bravo! you have the best attitude and I wish all smokers would think like you, and understand that they are not been completely banned, just need to walk a bit to smoke. Great post of yours!
I agree 110%
Hi John – I’m so sorry you’ve had such difficult guests lately. I do so admire your kindness and patience. As the call for Rome on Tues. was Ryan’s birthday, I know there was laughter somewhere near you that you would have been welcome to join. I shall tell him in a Mom manner that next year he must let you know where the party is! Stay being John, and know there are over a million bloggers who love you!
Hugs,
Nancy
another brilliant blog,tnx for the morning chuckle, I should know better and have no coffee in my hand while reading.
For the lady at Chitzen Itza, it might have been for safety reasons the pyramids are roped, or maybe because too many tourists are taking “souvenirs” from the pyramides.
Your answer to Linkman made me laugh loud, can we have a hygiene report after inspection?
))
As for the trolls, ignore them. As for the bickering of FB users on your page, ignore them. If they cant have the decensy (spelling no clue) to keep your page just your page and fight behind the screens (maybe a new tour!!! ) then they should just bugger off. Some are funny, most of them are pathetic. Dont let it bother you.
As for the stealing and pickpocketing in big cities, it happens in the States too, always be aware of your belongings, no matter where you are.
Tnx for your all you do!
Jacky
Hi John,
Please Reply!!
On your blog of July 27th, you were blamed for someone getting their camera stolen. I have never been to Europe (I have been to India when I was 7 years old, sailed there on a Dutch Freighter) but even I have heard about the pick pocketing that happens in all of the European countries. Even our State Department puts out warnings about this, so if someone is that stupid to give a total stranger her $400 camera, then she should be looking in the mirror instead of blaming you. Most people find it so much easier to blame others for their misdeeds, that way they do not have to feel guilty over it
I also want to respond to the lady that wants a refund because you did not tell her that the place that she was going was roped off. How in the world would you know when these historical places are roped off. Some people and their thinking just blows my mind.
John,
We are cruising with Carnival for the 6th time and the first with our 3 year old (side note: conceived on the Miracle 4 years ago). Was wondering 2 things, 1 is there anything you could do to make this cruise more special for our son as it is his first and we will be celebrating my 40th (Tom) birthday. Secondly we would like to participate in the chef’s table if it is available on the Miracle. Thank you for anything you could do to make this anymore special than we know it will already be.
Thomas and Nunzia Mauro
Tommy & Nunz
John, your blog has become the relief for daily stress. I have been a police officer for over 21 years so I can relate to the complaints you receive. So Chap remember to keep a stiff upper lip (lol). You help relieve my stress between cruises. Thanks from a loyal carnival customer
Re the Dress Code comment – It DOES make a difference if guests dress up to make it a special “elegant” night, while their table companions dress ultra casual. After all, what IS the ideal of elegant night?
hear hear Brenda!!! I couldn’t agree with you more. The folks that take the time and effort to dress for the formal dinner should NOT have to be exposed to those that should be eating in the Lido buffet or elsewhere AND CCL really NEEDS to ENFORCE the dress code like they used to!!
help us please john..
whe go cruise with you next week on the magic the nine day cruise 5 august
whe all confused how many elegant night there are ??? one or two ???? so please help us …so whe no how manny beautifull dresses whe need
greets from 5 woman from the netherlands
marij
the FAQs on Carnival.com should have the answer to your question. states how many elegant nights per cruise length.
Oh the irony of the fried potaties, that has had me laughing all the way to the end of the comments!
The internet, John, the internet. People of diminished personality can become self-perceived super heroes on the internet. They can lash out with an amazing level of venom that would shock and sadden the wonderful folks who raised them to be productive citizens. They hide behind keyboard and monitor banging away at the QWERTY, releasing all the the frustration that builds up in the real world. Petty people, John… insecure, petty people.
Regarding your pizza… what a bummer!! What a sad representation of an Italian classic dish! Being of Italian extraction I am saddened and embarrassed. Did you hit the pizzeria once you got back on board? I hear they do a pretty good job there…
All the best to the girls.
Ciao!!!
Host Mach
A table alone, it really is not that bad. I am sure they all look at you and wonder if you have so horrible disease or maybe you just do not like people. Sorry your pizza was horrible, you should have had some on the ship. But just getting away for a little bit makes a difference when you need to be alone.
I know the people on CC like to bash those that do not have the same opinion as they do but to do it on your Facebook page is quite unexectable. They can do whatever they want to on their page but leave yours alone. I have to admit that I once complained about some who did not like the idea of having to pay at the Itallian restaurant saying that it was only $10.00 and they probably spent more than that in the casino on board the Carnival Magic. I then got rightfully admonished by you John in saying everyone has a right to their opinion if they want to dine at the main dinning room, steak house or in the new Itallian restaurant.
I do hope this cruise, which is a 12 day, will go smoothly with minimal problems.
Keep smiling John; you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
I just had to reply to the comment made by Kendra:
“We had to wait for our dessert because of the stupid dancing they do which is something most passengers don’t care about.”
We absolutely loved our dining experience on our last family cruise, just over a year ago. My extended family of 9, ages 3 to 70+, had a wonderful time. My nephew, age 3, has several allergies and the wait staff was amazing, providing kid friendly food within his dietary restrictions. My nephew and niece (ages 3 and 5) as well as the adults (ages 24 and up), really enjoyed the dining staff’s nightly performances. Yes, dinner takes an extended time, but that is part of the whole experience. We loved the relaxed pace of formal dining. Besides, if cruisers are looking for a fast meal, there are other options outside of the formal dining room. Cast my YES vote (make that nine votes) for KEEPING those “stupid” dancing waiters!
Five of us are cruising again very soon. We can’t wait and will definitely be formal dining every night!
Why not call Midget Golf “Diminutive Golf”.
Ron
Just got back from Florence, Italy so really enjoyed your blog about the pizza and your whole experience going into the town. I also traveled alone into Italy for work so can relate. Back in the states now so will get a nice, gooey New York pizza. Two years ago I would see the Carnival tours walking past my apartment and I would want to grab one of their tags and follow the group back.
At least in the Italian bathroom when doing nuber one, you don’t have to worry about having toilet paper. I hope you remind the guests to bring some tissues with them-JIC. I also hope anyone who gets the chance will take a Med. sailing to see Italy.
Dear John:
I am cruising on the Victory in October and have seen a lot of negative posts about the ship and I have never seen you post any comments about that ship.It would be nice to hear your thoughts about this matter.
Thanks
My two daughters and I sailed the Carnival Victory in May of 2010. Loved it!! We were so busy in the ports that the 7 days flew by. The crew were wonderful, and we loved the ship.
Di
My first comment goes to the troll Linkman111 – the blog attracts fat people? So are you fat? You are reading the blog. what a weird, random comment.
Second – Ms, Cannon and the lost camera. How is it the cruise lines fault? I left my best jewelry several years ago at hotel – of course not turned in to housekeeping. No ones fault but mine!
Third – John, I would have gone to port with you and been your friend for the day. My teenager loves to cruise and loves to stay onboard in the ports but it would be nice to see those ports once during all your summer cruises.
Hang in there!
Another brillant blog, John. Contrary to what a very few will try to tell I think that you do represent the vast majority of your readers and Carnival in very positive ways. The trolls here could learn a great deal from you if they wanted too.
Wagging his finger in my waist! I love it, you are just too damn funny John,keep em coming.
If anyone ever asks this is one cruiser who really enjoys seating times. We very much enjoy getting to know our wait staff during the voyage, and the dancing; especially the “Hokey-Pokey Chicken Dance”!
John it really irks me to no end that people feel the need to always vent your way. Are you putting yourself in the line of fire? Probably! But, it seems to me that the ones like Adrienne S who is bitching about the dress code IS NOT THE AVERAGE like she says, please! OR THE DUMMIE who uses no common sense and hands over her Camera (Right out of National Lampoon’s European Vac.) These rude and stupid American’s give decent American’s like myself, and so many others, a bad name. They are the ones who were taught no manners, are spoiled and believe the world owes them everything, unfortunately! Here, even at home, I am seeing it more and more on a daily basis. Regardless of these idiots, this is still a great country with many many decent human beings…too bad we couldnt weed out the ones who give us a bad name and send them to your favorite country…France!
Oh my John – I had to stop reading the blog at the first paragraph to comment — you mentioned that you stood up while Facebooking and grabbed some items and left the ship — You however, never mentioned putting on pants — you always say you FB in your underwear – perhaps everyone was looking at you because…no suspenders!!!
Dear John,
People who get upset at the dress code on formal nights really like to feel that cruising makes them better than other people.
When people don’t dress the part to keep their fantasy afloat then they feel like you (Carnival) let them down. I blame the old TV show the LOVE BOAT for this as many people that grew up watching this show still think that cruising makes them special. Rather than making their vacation special as they should.
Personally if someone was rubbing hot melting cake on their bare body during dinner it wouldn’t bother me either.
I enjoy dinner and a show!
The Cruzin2some
My Chickenitza story….we docked at the Gravel Pit outside of Cancun (I don’t remember the name of it now but it was being used after a hurricane). We rented a nice convertable and took off for a wild Mexico adventure. We saw a sign for Chichenitza and headed south. Upon arrival we were charged to park, then a charge to get near the gate to pay the fee to take a shuttle to the main gate to pay the fee to get in to holding unit to wait to see the ruins. We decided after the 3rd “charge” we could miss seeing the ruins.
We decided to make a potty stop, lo and behold you had to “buy” t/p from a local merchant. Fortunately the wife had wipes with her and “cheated” the local young man out of his fee.
We returned to the port sunburned, lighter in the wallet and happy.
Hey what is wrong with the taste of baboon scrotum? It is great with marinara sauce!
Hey John:
As always your blog thingy is just splendid.. The American comments are true in some aspects in things you don’t want hear but in things that need to be said… like you have spinach in your teeth or your fly is open and I can see your private part is only the size of a baby carrot is never spoken.
As for the dress code…. People need to realize that some folks barely have enough money to go on a cruise much less buy a whole new wardrobe to go with it…. And for the shirtless guy in the restaurant… Depends on what he looks like… because I could be persuaded to not let that warm melting cake go to waste and give that gentleman a good licking!….
I travel for my job all the time and love to venture out on my own…. Never have to worry about what someone else likes and dislikes are and I always carry a good book to read… Sitting at a bar… drinking beer…. reading a book and enjoying good food…LOVE IT!
Love the dancing at dinner…. The staff enjoys it more if you dance with them so with my two left feet I always dance.
Kudos as always to the Carnival Staff we enjoy cruising with all of you! I think I will take on a second job so I can take two cruises a year.
GOD Bless
Terri
yowzer I would absolutely DISLIKE being around Linkman 111.. He is really a mean-spirited, hateful person.. Must SUCK being him and having to go through such a horrible life :’( are the corners and drawers in his home spotless?
I am with you John: What possible difference could it make what someone ELSE is wearing? There are all kinds of “formal” in the world these days and who are we to be snobs and judge others? And why should we let it “ruin” our dinner or our cruise. As your friend Al put it Adapt and Overcome! This is the best motto I’ve seen yet! Life is just too short for anything else!
“…look inside your dirty drawers.” HA HA. Love it!
Hello John,
After enjoying another good blog thingy I just had to write to you. My husband and I were on the Inaugural Cruise of the Fantasy in 1990. That sparked a love for cruising that we were not able to enjoy for a number of years due to raising a family and just not being financially able at that time. It was our dream to cruise again and in August 2007, we took our 3 adult kids with us on their first cruise. We all had such a blast- Butch was our CD and the crew of the Conquest made the trip of a lifetime. Sadly, we lost our daughter that year. We are now raising her daughter and we have taken a cruise every year at the same time to honor her. We have been lucky enough to have Butch again, as well as Josh “Big Sexy” twice. We’ve made lifetime friends with other passengers and new family with crew members Josh and Todd, our singer/dancer “son”. John, were you our first CD? Because if you were, you instilled a lifelong love for cruising. As we prepare for our Platinum cruise on the Liberty on August 27, I have to say thank you to the original CD. If that’s you, thank you so much! It’s fun to be on a ship and I like good food etc. but it’s the awesome crew that makes our cruises something we look forward to all year. We hope to meet up with you on one of these cruises and shake your hand, sir.
Respectfully,
Jeanine B.
John – Talk about luck. I’m looking for a reasonably priced cruise in Oct for a friend and me and I select the Oct 22 cruise of the Liberty. Then I learn she will be in dry dock just prior to that departure and that you will be cruising with us. WOW. I can’t wait to meet the man who surely has a space reserved in heaven! I spent 20+ years in healthcare as an Ombud and, like you, I discovered that John Q. Public can complain about everything from the bus running late to their insurance not covering a cosmetic procedure. And somehow that was MY FAULT. I have howled with laughter as I read your diplomatic responses to individuals who surely deserved nothing more than a “bugger off!” But back to my cruise. My friend is a recent widow. This will be her first cruise and my third (two with Brand X, I’m ashamed to say). I plan to purchase some items from the web site for our bon voyage party. I know we’ll have a wonderful cruise but I would appreciate your advice on how to take it “over the top”. Take care and hope to hear from you.
I’m going on the same cruise as part of my wedding, and when I learned John was going on this cruise too I was so excited. I love-love the blog and have had my fingers crossed since that’s get a change to meet him. His writing is always so great that talking to him in person should be a treat especially since I’ll be blogless that week.
Is it my imagination or arent legs under a table at dinner, except for someone walking by your table how do you know they’re wearing jeans? I know I’ve never stared at someones lower 1/2 to determin what they’re wearing for pants
John, you should have come into Naples with my wife and I last week. We found a restaurant there with great pizza, and it was easy to get to from the ship.
Hi John,
I just started reading you in my search for knowledge about our FIRST upcoming cruise and we have of course chosen CARNIVAL!!!!! And Reading your blog and facebook made me think of a story my grandma used to tell me, I hope you can find the humor and the laughter in it.. Be well dear friend. Be well…..
A Man and his son were once going with their Donkey to market. As they were walking along by its side a countryman passed them and said: “You fools, what is a Donkey for but to ride upon?”
So the Man put the Boy on the Donkey and they went on their way. But soon they passed a group of men, one of whom said: “See that lazy youngster, he lets his father walk while he rides.”
So the Man ordered his Boy to get off, and got on himself. But they hadn’t gone far when they passed two women, one of whom said to the other: “Shame on that lazy lout to let his poor little son trudge along.”
Well, the Man didn’t know what to do, but at last he took his Boy up before him on the Donkey. By this time they had come to the town, and the passers-by began to jeer and point at them. The Man stopped and asked what they were scoffing at. The men said:
“Aren’t you ashamed of yourself for overloading that poor donkey of yours and your hulking son?”
The Man and Boy got off and tried to think what to do. They thought and they thought, till at last they cut down a pole, tied the donkey’s feet to it, and raised the pole and the donkey to their shoulders. They went along amid the laughter of all who met them till they came to Market Bridge, when the Donkey, getting one of his feet loose, kicked out and caused the Boy to drop his end of the pole. In the struggle the Donkey fell over the bridge, and his fore-feet being tied together he was drowned.
“That will teach you,” said an old man who had followed them:
Moral of Aesops Fable: Please all, and you will please none
John,
I wish I was there to give you a hug and make all those jerks go away! You are the Best of the Best! 99.9% of us love you to death. About us solo travelers, I go solo because of choice! I did the singleworld thing back in the 90′s with sharing a cabin. It was O.K. because if you didn’t have anything in common with your roommate you were not obligated to hang together. It’s not that way if you come with someone you know. Went with a co-worker and all she did was sleep all day in the cabin. Cabin never got made up. So I leave my husband at home and enjoy my cruise! I’m On the Freedom (2nd time) in Jan. 2012 for my birthday! Same shows but more importantly, who’s the CD? Oh how I wish it was YOU!
Dear John,
Honestly I am not only shocked, but offended at the amount of backlash you face every day in your line of work.
In my short 25 years, I have been privileged to vacation on 12 cruises. My family and I have tried both Royal Caribbean & Carnival. This January, when my mother proposed another European cruise, we undoubtedly selected Carnival as our go-to cruise line, and didn’t even check RC’s website.
Why? The service and enthusiasm we (as clients) receive from both the crew on the ship and customer service reps on the phone is exemplary. Each employee, it seems, loves to work for Carnival, and wants to do everything possible to ensure we have a fantastic vacation.
Of course, as with all industries, problems and issues arise. But Carnival’s MO for problem management and resolution is one of empathy and generosity. I’ve never been disrespected by a Carnival employee, and tend to bond with my cabin housekeeper and server on every cruise I am on. I love the feeling of cohesiveness and family that I have only found to be consistent on Carnival cruises.
It astonishes me to see people complaining about such minutia. In the grand scheme of things, do dress codes and comments of other passengers really make a difference in how one’s vacation is determined? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I wish more people would focus on what a blessing it is to be able to see the Colosseum, Pompei, the island of Capri, everything else Carnival offers in your gorgeous ports of call.
I want to end on a note of appreciation, because I know how hard you work (Well, truly, I’m sure no passengers do, because we only see a fraction of everything you do. But it is appreciated.) to ensure that the cruise is run smoothly and that all passengers have an enjoyable vacation. My family and I were thrilled with our most recent trip on the Magic this July, and will absolutely be booking our next cruise (hopefully soon!) on Carnival.
Thank you again, John, for making our family vacation a humongous success!
Very sincerely,
Ashley in Phoenix, Arizona, USA
Very good post, well written; and I agree! Good for you, you can find the fun in life!
Di
Hello John, (please respond, if you care)
I was disappointed the other day when I answered some of the posted comments that follow your blog. I responded to comments regarding the reason behind the British Army having “red coats”. This lead to certain disparraging remarks towards, as you would say, “The French”.
Some of these unfortunate remarks, no dought, are a consequence of your own way of dealing with the commic effect you look for with your comments on, : “The French”.
While at first glance, your dealing with stereostypes of different nationalities, might appear innocent enough, some might be lead, by comments from a public person as yourself, as a justification to pursue uttering deameaning comments regarding members of these nationalities.
John, I believe you are walking on a very thin line here. I repeat, once again, how unfortunate it is, Carnival, did not deem good to publish my very tame response to the racist anti French comments posted on your blog.
Oh well, thus is life… We may be able to talk about it next Sept. 25. We will then be aboard the Carnival Magic with you.
By the way… Just a kind reminder to our American friends… Thanks to the assistance of France and a few of it’s Regiments, America was able to wrest it’s Independance from Britain. Lest not we forget…
Best wishes, John !
OMG can I just say something about Kendra Coughlin: I too am from the south..Alabama to be exact. I am GLAD you can get more than “southern cooking” while on a cruise. Part of a cruise it to experiance culture and to a foodie like me, food is a big part of that!! I don’t want to eat something on a cruise everyday that I can get from Mcdonald’s…JMO
You got off at the wrong port John. Monaco or Messina are fun places to get off and walk around whereas Civitavecchia as a town sucks. We’ve been there 4 times on cruises and it never fails to dissappoint. The people there are all about taking advantage of the tourists. I didn’t get the impression any of them took pride in their work.
I don’t know how you do it being away from “your girls” so much. I do fine away from husband and daughter for a week and then I feel all out of sorts. But don’t you dare quit on us, bring them back to the ship!
Best wishes,
Annie