“So, how is this cruise going?” I hear you cry. It’s going very well and thanks for asking. I won’t say that there aren’t challenges and I will be discussing one or two of those over the next few blogs starting today with an old chestnut. But overall the guests love the ship and her crew. There are 4,400 guests here which means there are going to be as there always is, one or two ummmmm……….interesting stories.
One such incident involves Michael Jackson and a joke made by one of the comedians that upset a guest so much that she walked out of the Spotlight Lounge on Promenade Deck aft and went all the way forward and down to deck 3 and at 11:45pm she made a complaint that the joke had been racist. And so this morning I had to talk to the guest who was African American as indeed was the comedian who had told it during his uncensored show which means the comedians often make some outrageous jokes. The fact that it is an uncensored show is well documented and announced clearly by the show’s emcee so there was no doubt that the guest was attending a show that would be R-rated with adult material.
The comedian involved is one of our very funniest and one who gets more rave reviews than most. His show includes jokes and observations on rumpy pumpy, getting old, all the bodily functions and political humor as well as this one particular Michael Jackson joke. I know many of you are asking “What was the joke, John”……well this is one that can only be told in a comedy club environment and not here on the blog. So I spoke to the lady in the lobby this morning and appropriately we are in Naples and Mount Vesuvius was in the background because this lady was erupting her anger all over me. I explained that the show was uncensored but she didn’t want to know and told me that it was wrong to make fun of the dead and that the joke was racist. Anyway, long story short. She’s mad, I said sorry, she walked away still mad, she gets fruit. The end.
By the way, one footnote to this. As you know we have a new Carnival Legends show here on Carnival Magic and it is brilliant and I hope it gets around to the rest of the fleet as soon as possible. The new characters and the new dancing with the cast section have breathed new life into a show that was (is) getting a bit tired. However, while we have multiple signups for Bruce Springsteen, Tina Turner, Shania Twain, Neil Diamond etc…….we have on the three occasions we have done the show only had one person sign up for Michael Jackson and each time they have been…..ummmm………well, let’s just say they were sponsored by ThirstyFrog Red and have provided a certain comedy element to the show. I wonder why we have no one sign up to sing Billie Jean. My guess is that MJ is virtually impossible to impersonate because of his incredible dancing and singing ability, not to mention that his voice was truly one of a kind and unless you trap your thingy in the fly of your pants, you are never going to sound like he did. And now — it’s laundry time.
Miss_____Ref: 84810775231A Owner: (——————
Cabin: ———– Booking#: ****** Added-Changed: 08/28/11 – 08/28/11THEFT FROM LAUNDRY
Miss ——–reported that three pairs of under garments and one blouse had been stolen from the guest laundry. Guest had put in her washing and came back 40 minutes later to find her clothes had been taken out and other clothes of another guests were in the machine. Security has been tasked.
Now, let’s examine this shall we? First of all it is unbelievable that another guest would come into the laundry, stop the machine, make sure no other guest is watching, take out the laundry and walk off with it. Surely this is a mistake right? Maybe they went to the wrong deck and thought they were at the place where their laundry is. Or of course we have 800 kids on board ……… a juvenile prank maybe. Oh hold on, I just had a thought. We also have 140 French on board and they are ladies underwear that is missing……maybe Pierre is in his cabin standing in front of the mirror saying “Sacre blue – mon derriere looks formidable in these oha oha oha.”
I should put a pair of my underpants in the guest laundry and see if any sod takes them. I think we all know the answer to that. And if they did steal them they would find their way back to me ……I have homing underpants. We will solve the case of the missing silk underwear and have called in the help of the Italian Police, Interpol, the CIA, the FBI ……..and of course Calvyn.
Time for today’s Q and A…………here we go.
Denise from Ft. Lauderdale Asked:
Hi John!We are sailing on October 30, 2011 on the Carnival Valor, which is our ninth Carnival cruise. We are excited about celebrating Halloween on the ship. We have our costumes ready. It appears that on Halloween, October 31 is also formal night. My question is, do we wear our costumes for dinner? I say yes, thinking the wait staff will be wearing costumes, but my husband says no, we should put our costumes on after dinner. Can you help us answer this question?
A HUGE Carnival fan,
DeniseJohn Says:
Hello Denise from Ft. LauderdaleI am glad to see that you are a “HUGE Carnival fan” and that is great news indeed. Halloween has become a big celebration for us over the past few years and it will be the same again this year. The elegant night is indeed on the 31st and I doubt (although I am not 100% certain) that the ship will change that so as in previous years yes, you and many other guests will wear their costumes to dinner. I will be posting the Halloween schedule for the entire fleet as soon as I have it. Have a great time.
Best wishes.
JohnBernard Berry Asked:
Hi John.Don’t really have a question, just wanted to say my June 24 cruise was my best cruise ever. Thank you and your staff for allowing my wife and I to experience for a week what it feels like to be famous. It was a first for us and it was awesome. What a fun concept. We are still enjoying the perks we received. We have another cruise scheduled out of Port Canaveral September 17 on Carnival Dream and we know that it won’t top our Carnival Magic cruise. We still are looking forward to it and will continue to choose Carnival for all our future cruises. Keep the new ships coming. You are the best. Thanks again!
Bernard and Carolyn Berry
John Says:
Hello BernardHow brilliant that you wrote and brilliant describes your performance in the WIN show. Thanks so much for spreading your joy and cheer to the other guests and it was an honour to share the stage with you. I wish you a brilliant time again on the Carnival Dream and I hope that we will get to be together in future cruises as well. I will send my colleague Butch a note for you when you board.
Best wishes to you both.
JohnRobert Chadband Asked:
We are sailing on the Magic on September 25 and need you to help us. We are celebrating our 41st Anniversary with our daughter and son-in-law. Would you get us a table for 4 and a window table for our special cruise? We have sailed on five Carnival cruises before but have never had a window table!!!! Also one of your special anniversary gifts would be nice!!!!!!!!! Here are the details.Robert and Melissa Chadband in state room 1399
Anthony and Rebbeca Rosetti in state room 1407
We cruised with you on the triumph and thought you were fun.
John Says:
Hello Robert ChadbandIt is always nice to see families cruising together and I will certainly ask Ken the maitre d’ to do his best to assist you with your table. I am sure we can get you a table for four but although he will try I can’t promise that it will be right next to a window. I will send you something for your anniversary and wish you all a wonderful time here on the Carnival Magic.
Best wishes.
JohnSuzann L Asked:
I didn’t get a comment card for some reason so I would like to say that the waiter I had on my July 7 cruise on the Carnival Inspiration was the best I have ever experienced in my 18 cruises, seven of which have been with Carnival. His name is Manni and his smile and welcoming nature made our cruise so wonderful. My daughter has special needs and not comfortable around strangers but she took to Manni immediately and still talks about him every day. Carnival has in Manni someone who should be recognized as being the difference between a good cruise and one that will never be forgotten. John I would be thankful if you would pass this to Manni and show his line manager as well.John Says:
Hello Suzann LWhat a brilliant post and one that warms the heart when read. It is indeed crew like Manni who can make such a difference and you cannot imagine how proud he will be when he sees this. I will as requested make sure the shipboard and shoreside managers see these words of praise which I thank you sincerely for taking the time to write.
My best wishes to you and the family.
JohnChristiane Gagnon Asked:
Hello John,I am booked on the Carnival Magic Sept 4. We are really looking forward to this trip. I read on your blog about the itinerary change on the Carnival Magic this week. We have done 15 cruises and I work in logistics planning. Would it not have been better for everyone to just miss a port rather than change all ports around? I know that this had to be a lot of work for Carnival to re-schedule tours. And I appreciate the work Carnival did for passengers on private tours (you did not have to do it, but I am sure it was appreciated. However, in the future, I think skipping the one port is a better decision. Looking forward to meeting you in six weeks.
CGinMTL
John Says:
Hello Christiane GagonIt’s an interesting question indeed. We discussed this in depth and decided that giving everyone the ports they had flown many miles to experience was the best option by far even though as you mentioned it created a lot of work for us on board. The fact that the ports are for many as important as the ship when booking the cruise was also taken into consideration as this is defiantly destination cruising. The concerns in Italy especially are always there. The feedback we received from the guests when we did the port change was positive even though as you know from the complicated work you do, logistically, it was difficult indeed. I look forward to seeing you soon.
Best wishes and get ready for a great cruise.
JohnMichael Chaffin Asked:
John I have noticed over the last few years all staterooms are warmer especially in the middle of the night. Is this a cost savings measure or is my luck of the draw of rooms just bad? I have had maintenance check and they will say the temperature falls in the acceptable range, any idea what that might be. Thanks can’t wait to sail with you again.John Says:
Hello Michael ChaffinGood question. Certainly we don’t turn the air up in the night as a cost saving measure that I can assure you. However there is no doubt that some ships are colder than others and certainly some individual cabins are, as well. Take the ship I am on now, the Carnival Magic. We have certain logs that we keep on board and last cruise we had eight air conditioning complaints about 1,845 cabins and five were that it was too hot and three that it was too cold so go figure. Yet, it’s the same AC system that controls them all and guests have the same thermostat control that allows them to adjust the temperature accordingly. So I guess the answer is I don’t know, maybe it is just personal preference as to how you like the temperature in your cabin. I hope this answers your question and I hope we cruise together again soon.
Best wishes
JohnEPH Asked:
Mr. Heald.It is unlikely in the extreme that I ever again take a Carnival (and maybe any other) cruise. I have written to Cruise Critic and placed my full review there as I think it is important that others know about me experiences and so I have added this to Cruise Critic. I trust Carnival knowing this will act accordingly. While the personnel were cordial, respectful and hard-working, many were improperly informed and inadequately trained. For one shore excursion (Belize) I was twice sent to improper departure assembly points on the ship. Finally, after some aggressive inquiry, I did find the correct place in time, but it was an unnecessary and unpleasant experience. A planned (and paid) excursion on Grand Cayman was missed when I used my telephone for a waking alarm as I often have. The phone time was correct with ship time when I went to sleep but was changed to later when I was awakened, and I missed the trip. Unknown to me, the time was reset by connection to a cell tower on shore when the ship approached port. Had I been advised of this possibility, I would have been on time for the excursion and the tour company refused to refund my money which is Carnival’s fault……. This was also the first time, in my many overseas travels, when postcards I mailed did not arrive in the US. They were mailed with stamps purchased on the ship and were left in a mail drop which was to be mailed from our current port. Overall the crew was pleasant, but apparently not capable of being very helpful.
John Says:
Hello EPHThank you for taking the time to write and I am so sorry that the cruise experience was not what you had hoped for. I know that these days cell phones can and will reset automatically to local time if that function is not turned off and obviously that is what happened with your phone and why you missed the tour. I also have to say that while I understand your frustration in missing the excursion, yours is the first such comment I have ever seen. I am not sure why your postcards did not reach their destination. The cards are given from the guest services desk to our port agent (we have one in each port that looks after us) and they then post it from the local post office. I am sorry that yours did not make it home. I am glad you found the crew “pleasant” and I wish I knew what ship you had been on as it could have been one of two that goes to the ports mentioned. I hope that you will look back at the value for money the cruise provided and the fun you hopefully had and that we will see you again.
Best wishes.
JohnLarry W Asked:
Hi JohnPlease can you tell me when the new CD schedule will come out. I don’t want to be mean but I am really wanting to book a cruise in January on the Carnival Legend but need to make sure a certain cruise director is not there as if I hear her voice over the PA I think I will go mad.
Thanks.
John Says:
Hello Larry WI will have the new schedule out in three weeks and will post it here on the blog thingy. I am sure you will be happy. Hope you book that cruise and let me know if you have any other questions
Best wishes.
JohnWilliam D. Starks Asked:
On our last cruise I was impressed on how the Platinum guest was treated. We really didn’t expect to be treated so great. We thought it was just something in print. Sorry to say that our next cruise in 2012 will be with RCL. I have no choice in this matter but we will be back to Carnival after that. We love Carnival. So don’t hold it against us for going with RCL in 2012.Your friend William
John Says:
Hello William D. StarksAbsolutely not. I wish you a wonderful vacation and we will be here to say welcome home the next time you return to carnival. Thanks for the kind words and for your loyalty………..mostly
Seriously, have a great vacation and hope to see you soon.
John
That’s all for today.
So, tradition has it that when our ships have been built a coin is placed into a glass box and welded somewhere on the ship. Many of you have had fun finding these coins and have had photos taken with them If that someone is you then you better have a look at this:
http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=226691564050079
So send in those photos of you and the coins and if you are cruising soon then have hunt for the coin and send us your photos.
OK, I know there are certain subjects that probably have some of you going, “Oh no, here goes the fat idiot again.” Dress code is one and so is tipping and of course my dislike for anything French. There is another one though that I need to talk about again because I am getting frustrated and in fact I know you are too. Yep, it’s time to wheel out the seat-saving/chair- hogging subject once again.
These past two cruises we have had 4,500 plus guests on board including many families and for the first time this European season, we have had multiple sea days. And with stunning Mediterranean weather, suffice to say we have had some issues with deck chair saving. There is good news though and that is the pilot system we have started here on our adult only Serenity deck and I can tell you that it works absolutely perfectly. We haven’t re-invented the wheel here. What we are doing is simply enforcing the 30-minute rule wherein if any chair is left for more than 30 minutes, the item is removed by the deck stewards and kept safely until the guests return.
It looks like this system for the Serenity area is working because we have signs there plus it is well advertised in the Capers and …..bugger……..the Fun Times and guests understand and comply. Honestly, we don’t have a problem there and have received no complaints at all. The system works.
Now it works though because it’s a smaller area and we have the crew to monitor and enforce the 30-minute rule. But the vastness of the open decks on 10 and 11 and all around the Lanai on deck 5 that equal hundreds upon hundreds of chairs……..well simply and honestly we can’t do it. We just can’t. And after much discussion with the hotel director, guest services manager and the housekeeping manager we have decided we cannot make promises that we cannot keep. And so while we say in writing and in a scrolling message on the Seaside Theatre Big Screen and in my announcements that seat saving is not allowed, the 30 minute rule has been removed because it is something that we are not able to do. We just don’t have the numbers of staff working on deck. You may think of that as an excuse but it’s not. It’s the truth. The end.
There are, though, other points to mention here and one of those is the blatant disregard by guests who ignore what we ask and plonk towels, books, shoes, children and goats on the chairs as early as 7 am. Take yesterday for example. Normally on the first day of a nine-day cruise we are in Monaco but this cruise as there is no pier available we had a day at sea. So at 8:10am I walked across deck 10 to Lido to get some breakfast and at least 80 percent if not more of the chairs had towels on them, etc. Then at 8:30am after my delicious bowl of All-Bran and some scrambled eggs, I walked down to Deck 5 on The Lanai and at least 50 percent of those had towels and shows and stuff on them as well.
And so I made another announcement on the PA system late that morning and on the Morning Show but I know already that it will make bugger all difference. What has made it even more difficult here on Carnival Magic is the large number of Europeans we have on board and for the Germans, Dutch and British, getting to the chairs first is surely a few years away from being an Olympic sport. But the towel wars have a new champion here on the ship………the Russians. It looks like they have found a way to outsmart everyone by laying their towels in the early hours of the morning after apparently returning from the Vibe dance club and then heading to bed at 5 am.
So what’s the answer? Well I didn’t know the answer to this the last time I wrote about it and I doubt I will have any idea when I write about it again. There may be those who will say that RNL or NCR cruise lines don’t have this problem but that’s bollocks because they do. Any cruise ship and indeed any hotel that has 3,000 people staying there has this problem and until guests stop reserving chairs and realise it is not good manners to do so I expect it will remain a problem for many years to come.
On a lighter note, my first job was working in an office. It was a summer job, I was 16. I filed bits of paper and if I looked out of the window in the morning I had bugger all else to do in the afternoon. Going to work was a simple business. I would arrive through something called a “door,” punch-in something called a “card” through a “clock” and settle down for 10 or 12 hours of total boredom, breaking off only to eat my cheese and tomato sandwiches my Mum had made or to be beaten about the head by my merciless boss, a dragon lady called Peggy. She had a mole on her face from which sprang four long grey hairs that begged to be cut, trimmed or simply burnt off. So there I sat, at my desk. I had a chair, some files and ………well, that was it.
Indeed when I first started as a cruise director on the Carnivale, my desk looked pretty much the same. There was a chair that because the previous Cruise Director Brett Allen’s was a magician and therefore had the obligatory magician’s parrot, was covered in green dollops of bird crap. And indeed so was most of the cabin. On my desk there were only two things. A telephone which had been there since 1953 when the Carnivale was called the Empress of Something and was so heavy that you had to be an Olympic weightlifter to pick it up. The only other thing on my desk back in 1990, was a typewriter.
You see that’s how we used to do the Carnival Capers. Yep, we did them on a typewriter. I would type out what was happening such as:
2 pm……..Massive Huge Jackpot Bingo with a Prize of $25……….Mardi Gras Lounge
3 pm…….The Sexy Beer Drinking Wet T-Shirt Pillow Fighting Contest……Lido Deck.
Then I would have to type out the meal choices as:
Lunch on Lido Deck. Hamburgers, Hot Dogs With Or Without Cheese………….Lido Deck.
Then, when I had typed these things out I would take a pair of scissors, cut the bit out, coat the back of it with some glue and, pausing only to squash another cockroach with my shoe, I would stick the paper on a legal size piece of blank white paper. To do this for a whole day’s worth of Capers would take me two hours at least and considering I had never used a typewriter in my life before I can honestly say my Capers were dreadful. Really, really dreadful.
But life was much simpler back then. I had my typewriter, the antique phone and a squashed cockroach on my desk. But today as I look at my desk here on the Carnival Magic I can’t believe how things have changed. Here’s what’s on my desk now.
So that’s:
- One desk top computer and hard drive and speakers.
- A Huge PA system in the wall
- A Walkie Talkie
- A Lap Top
- An Eye Pad – more on that later
- A Calculator
- A ship’s internal cell phone
- A Raspberry
- A Flip Video camera
- Various Crap
Look at this desk and you would think it belongs to an accountant or someone who works for the CI sodding A. But some people with beards will say, “Stop moaning you fat tub of lard. It’s called progress.” Well they may be right but talk to CDs like Steve Cassel and they will tell you how he would spend maybe two hours a day in the office and the rest walking the ship and hosting events. These days all cruise directors (myself very much included) get comments that say, “We didn’t see the CD anywhere except on stage.” Well that’s because the job has changed so so much. But that’s life and that is indeed progress.
Things have gotten so much more complicated over the years. Take computers and the requirement for usernames and passwords. This used to be manageable, requiring as it did little more than typing in a pass code or a phrase based on your love of Megan Fox’s bottom (ilovemegansbottom) or your random phrase (gerrycahillisastudmuffin).
However thanks to various tofu-eating bastards with beards the process of logging in to work is now as bloody difficult as trying to escape from Alcatraz. The last few days have been very busy for me what with a ship to run and trying to keep up with all the hurricane changes so I can keep you all updated over on Facebook. Therefore the last thing I needed was Mr. And Mrs. IT Beard informing me that password policy was changing and that our office and cabin computer passwords must now be eight characters long, contain a letter in upper case, a letter in lower case, a number, and character thingy ………e.g. ?, *, %, $. Oh FFS!
Meaning that “Bollockstothefrench or “servicedogmyarse” are no longer permissible and that even “Latvianwomen%4me*” will work only for a while as I am apparently required to change my password more often than I change my underpants.
So, there you go. Things were different and so much easier back then and while I miss those days I obviously appreciate email and communication devices that allow me to stay in touch with the girls. Would I swap anything now? Well, it’s nice not to sit in a chair covered in bird crap and I hated that typewriter but apart from that…….no……..I probably don’t. Oh, except one thing ………. the word Capers…………..I really miss calling them Capers.
Goodnight
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Security has been tasked, for the great under garment caper. Ya right, that should be interesting
I loved calling them Capers too John, why mess with the best. I do not understand.
Mike and I were on the Carnivale in 1988 for our first cruise. I do not remember the CD who was very funny but I do remember Brett Allen as he was the magician. His wife was his assistant. They were both very good. In 1993 we were on the Holiday and the CD was Brett Allen but with a new wife. I loved both of those ships, they were very special.
Thanks for the sweet picture of Kye even though it is a secret. I do not know when you have time to do all you do, there has to be two of you.
Great blog today John. We are both getting closer to our holidays. I can not wait to board the Carnival Magic.
Keep smiling John; you truly are one of the good guys.
My best to Heidi and Kye.
hi john nice blog. i am a mj fan but a joke is a joke. and yes i had my clothes removed from guest laundry by another passanger on my last cruise. she didnt take anything but told me she took them out of the dryer cause they were dry and i didnt get them out.i was their 5 min after what she did. that was wrong.
I lived in a college dorm for two years with one clothes washer and one dryer for my floor. If you were not on top of your laundry, it got removed for the next co-ed. Removing the bundle from the dryer to a horizontal shelf, OK. Stealing my undies, WHAT??
I’m quite fond of 100%Stupid, in regards to the password policy. Only ours changes every 60 days, and we can’t change it to the same one. So it becomes 200%Stupid. Then 300% and so on. You get your number, your character, and your upper- and lowercase letters. Might be something to consider..
As always, John, brilliant blog!
What a great idea!!! I’m sure many new …%stupid passwords will be popping up world wide.
The Black woman who complained about a Michael Jackson joke should get over herself!
I refuse to use the term African (or any other country) American. One is either African or Amerian – NOT BOTH!!! Such terms are like French English, German French, etc. Total political crap trap! Why are they so ashamed to be called Black? I am White and proud of it!
Getting bent out of shape over a joke told by another Black person and claiming it was racist is frankly stupid! Grow up and get over it!
I’m with you on the hyphenating thing. Once you raise your hand and take the oath your an American. Until then you are whatever you want to call yourself but not American.
Amen!!!!
We will never get rid of racism as long as people try to differentiate themselves instead of assimilating. There should be no double nationality titles. Why are the blacks the only ones that keep using this? Everyone else just becomes American no matter where they are from since everyone here came from someplace else.
Ma’am, you forgot your hood!
And your rubber necklace is on fire!
On our last cruise we went to one of the adult comedy shows and even though I expected some bad language and some dirty jokes I was quite shocked at how dirty and vulgar it got. We left after a few minutes. I’m no prude but wow it was pretty bad. However I wouldn’t go and complain as it is advertised as adult humour. If you don’t enjoy it you leave and go do something else. I really don’t think that lady deserves your apologies or fruit basket. You were very kind to her as always.
I too have to go on a different cruise line in 2012… I have never gone on anything but a Carnival cruise. I am happy & greatful. to be cruising in 2012 (last one was 2008) but wish it could have been w/John on one of the great Carnival ships
Dear John,
I’m glad that the deck stewards are getting a handle on people who stake out chair in the Serenity Area and understand being too short staffed to be able to do the same on the main pool decks. What if they remove stuff when they notice it, just as part of their job? It doesn’t have to be their only job but if a passenger complains or if they notice a chair being empty for a long period maybe they can move the stuff?
I appreciate all you do and keep up the great attitude and don’t let the trouble makers get you down! I hope to said with you again in the future!
Sandy- THANK YOU! Finally- a voice of reason! SO TIRED of people complaining and not taking responsibility for themselves. That’s the great thing about cruising and what makes it such a wonderful ‘reunion/get together’ type vacation- there is something for everyone, and if you don’t like something- NO BIGGIE- MOVE ON!
The Cher Song keeps going through my mind.
Gypsies, seat savers and thieves.
Sounds like Some one is on that cruise to make money and not spend it.
John, when I was working we had to change passwords every 30 days and use a number changer that spat out a new number every minute plus the password. All for the security of the network. Its the way of life now that everbody is trying to break into everybody network and do bad things.I still have a rotation of passwords that I use as we couldn’t use the same one again for 6 months. It only gets better but the IT Breards now best.
Just get use to it as it won’t change. Am looking forward to seeing you in Noverber in Galveston.
John:
The old Legend Show usually had the Ricky Martin’s song as the one that was always the hardest to fill.
It, too, is very difficult to sing correctly because of the range.
My oldest son Josh has tried it a couple of times and did ok. He definately had a great time (which is what is important).
Every now and then, a guy would do Billy Jean really well in karaoke. Now they will have an avenue to showcase their talents on stage!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
John you left something off about that photo!! That Beautiful little Girl that looks just like her daddy!!! How sweet!!!
Big Fans as Always,
Frank and Bridie
Loving the blog, once again! Sunbed saving is an issue all over Europe as soon as the sun comes out, I was speaking to one lady on the magic last cruise who got up at 4:30am to get a decent spot, plus she said her towel was far from being tge first out there!! Top tip though for future magic guests, there is plenty of space on tge front of the ship where u can catch the sun mist if the day and relax if you like peace and quiet. We were staying on deck 11 and were often the only ones laying out there. It was like having our own private balcony! The space around the edge of the pools is another nice spot to lay out on, plus you stay cool because your in the water!! Last tip… If you don’t manage yo find a spare sun lounger first thing, wait until after lunch then have a kook around, we found that after around 2 pm some people moved on and it was easier to find a free space! hope this is useful, enjoy the wonderful ship…
On my very first cruise in 2006 I had just put my clothes in the washer & a very rude “lady” came in & tried to take my clothes out. She didn’t want to wait till mine were done! I stayed to watch my clothes & glad i did. She came back a few times & tried to take mine & other’s clothes out. My family & friends will be enjoying our third cruise July 2012! We don’t let the little stuff ruin our fun times!
Just read one of the posts that there has been a port change on the Magic. We are on her Oct 16 are we part of the change.
Wow! You have sure capitulated on the 30 minute rule. I think this is going to cause more problems that it solves. People DO remove stuff that is on chairs for hours.
What are you going to do now with a dispute? Around 1 p.m. a couple with their first DOD and bloodshot eyes will come up and find a mother with her child in their chairs. The mom and kid have been using them. The other couple earlier laid claim.
It strikes me that your security guy has to kick out the mother and child who have been using the chairs in favor of the couple that just awoke and then cut all parties off alcohol lest they meet up again.
This doesn’t seem so smart to me.
Well John, Here’s a suggestion for the laundry room thingy. Provide each cabin/stateroom with two (2) small magnets signs with the cabin phone number and the phrase ” IF machine is Done please call ______ BEFORE removing”. And insert cabin phone number in underline area. And then provide a phone in the laundary rooms so guest could call to that cabin/stateroom. I sure this would help stop the pantie raids too.
John, Just wanted to remind you that my daughter is getting married on the carnival Pride on Sept 25th and you promised if you could not be our CD on this cruise that you would send her something. It’s coming up only 24 days yet. Thanks Cindi
When I do laundry I don’t go back to my cabin but down to the Promenade to sit and wait.
I’ve never had a problem with my laundry being messed with, but we usually do it when we’re in port since my sister rarely gets off the ship and sometimes I don’t either.
We go back to the laundry room about 5 minutes before the end of the cycle so we’re not delaying someone else, however in the early morning and during port time there is rarely anyone else doing laundry.
As far as I’m concerned…if you don’t want your laundry messed with, you should stay with it until it is done.
I’m not too concerned with my laundry being messed with, and besides I’ve never seen a ships laundry that had anyplace to sit.
I certainly don’t want to lean against the wall in a poorly ventilated hot and steamy laundry for 40 minutes.
I’m willing to take my chances.
John, While I agree that chair saving is a bad thing, let me tell you about my darling hubby and myself. I awake at 5-6 AM . . . and leave the room so as not to disturb my significant other. I go up on deck and sit in our “chairs” and greet all the early morning staff. I may get up to get coffee. At 7:00ish, I leave for about 45 minutes (yes not 30, but 45) to go to the gym. I come back, read my book, leave to refill my coffee . . . about 8-9 hubby gets up and knows exactly where to find me!!! He comes and gets me and we go to the dining room for breakfast. Now I have not timed it, but think at times it may be more than 30 minutes . . . . we then return to the adult only pool area where I have secured THE ONLY chairs in the shade, and proceed to read out books, go in the pool, get a snack, refill my delicious ice tea, and enjoy the sunny day. At some point, we individually get lunch . . . we don’t like the same stuff so after 20 or so cruises we’ve learned, lunch is on our own. We have a foo foo drink or two, enjoy the afternoon, maybe go to get some ice cream!!!! But I don’t consider ourselve chair hogs . . . we are in the chairs about 80% of the total time and if you count both of us with 2 chairs 90% . . . the only time we leave them is for breakfast which we have together!!!! Hey, Love you, love the blog!!!!
With all due respect, I would definitely consider you a chair hog.
Lisa, I have to agree with Bob. There’s just something about people claiming chairs as “our chairs” that seems blatantly unfair to me. Especially as one who gets up with her DH and eats ALL meals with him.
John, please reply
Thank you for this blog. I really enjoy reading it every day.
I am writing to ask for a favor. I love cruise ships and have been on many going back to the 1960′s including 8 on cruises Carnival. When I was a kid, I used to draw my own deck plans of ships. Ships, sailing, the ocean… these are beautiful to me.
Here is the favor. You sailed on the Carnivale, I sailed on the Queen Ana Maria. Same ship, different years.
Would you be able to ask the computer people if they would put a link somewhere on the Carnival web site where we could look at deck plans for ships not longer sailing for Carnival. Deck plans for the Tropical, the Carnivale, the Holiday, Celebration… I am sure there are many other people who love ships as much as I do. It would preserve the Carnival history. It would highlight the changes and improvements over the years.
I know you don’t have the power to put these on the site yourself, but maybe, just maybe, you might know someone who can make it happen.
Thank you John, for your help.
Passwords. {heavy sigh}
You nailed it John.
Here is a link to some computer geek humor, but the caption says it all.
Hello John,
While we can understand the logistics of 3500 chair hogs during daylight hours, it is simply unacceptable to allow the crew to ignore towels on chairs at 5-7am.
Remove the towels and log the time/location the towel was removed. When a guest reports their towel was “taken”, they can explain why it was placed there at that time of morning.
My password requires that I use 8 characters. So, I choose Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs! Just sayin
LLOL!! (literally laughing out loud)
You know John, the people who go on a cruise would really enjoy spending some time with their CD. Tell the beards to understand that, it’s a people type job not always machines. If they continue what they are doing they will miss the excitement of cruising. I think it also takes the CD away from those people who would enjoy the opportunity to spend some time sitting and talking with the CD, not just seeing them on stage. I know that I would love the chance to sit and talk to you guys and girls.
I know that week I had the chance to spend time with you on the Dream meant a great deal to me. I guess I was just a lucky person that week. Many people would love to enjoy that time so tell those BEARDS to start allowing the CDs to spend more time with the guests. I hope to have that chance again with you John.
Paul F. Pietrangelo
Hear, Hear John. I know the time we have had with even just a few minutes of the entertainment staff has been outstanding. What a treat for them (especially CDs) to actually have some dedicated time with the guests!
you know what John?!? you don’t need to explain about 1 person that got offended out of 4,400 guests.. so stop already!!! there is ALWAYS gonna be that one unhappy person that LOOKS for the bad in every experience!! MOST of us enjoy our cruises and if the 1-2 small incidences occur we just overlook them and smile!!!!!!!!! SHIT HAPPENS! Please, please, Please stop blogging about 1 out of a million individuals! please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what does one put in the website spot on this blogthingy??? and i was just wondering since you stated “servicedogmyarse” where does the “service dog” go to the bathroom??? and who cleans it up???
we are going to be sailing on the Magic, Dec 4th out of galveston. it will be our second cruise. very excited about this! i am wondering where would i get one of those sticker things i saw people wearing to help prevent motion sickness as i had a bit of that on our first cruise?
I also do hope that there are not any snooty california people on the ship as they think everyone from Texas is corse and rude… i am not originally from Texas but i got here as quickly as i could! and i know for a fact that people are either rude or not rude it has nothing to do from what state one lives. or what country for that matter! i have worked in customer service for many many, maybe too many years and i can tell you that some are nice some are not.
John i think you will not be the CD on our cruise, that is sad as i was hoping to meet you. oh well maybe on our next cruise!
love reading your blogthingy!
Great blog. Just love reading them even while on the Carnival Magic at the moment.
This cruise is so much fun for a family. I have not seen my boys unless we took them on an excursion. We love all these children and laughter everywhere. I overheard a comment from another guest yesterday “I wont come on a cruise with a day care centre next time”. I wish I had been quick enough to give him a comment back and tell him what I thought about people like him, but I am on holidays.
We are from sunny Australia and couldnt care two hoots about the lounges and the sun, we get too much at home and try to get the shady spots….HaHa.
Great staff especially waiting staff at dinner every night. Even my boys would rather have pizza with their new friends and we can enjoy a rare quiet dinner together.
Will 10 days cruising be enough before we go home to reality? I am sure my kids will say not long enough. They are lucky enough to miss out on 2 weeks of school for this trip!!
When will people take responsibility for themselves? What a spoiled people we have become. Even Grandma knows not to trust a cell phone….the person stated that they have traveled overseas many times….did you not notic that your cell phone changes with the time zones? Inconsistant…..impatient and well just ignorant!
John please keep going on the password thing. I have the same problem myself and it is so annoying. Maybe some IT beard will tell another IT beard that common people can’t remember their new password that they made yesterday because that have had to make a new one each week for the last year. It just causes people to write down the password for others to see which defeats the whole reason for the password.
-Jarrett
John We sailed with you transatlantic on the Liberty. At the Adults only comedy show these ladies would sit front and center and the minute the comedian opened his mouth they would get up and leave in disgust over his humor. Remember by the third show you arrived with a dictionary to read the definition of adult! Maybe you should make this a habit and you could possibly avoid moreirate passengers. Keep up the good work
Regarding the seat-saving issue, you simply need to publicize that NO seat-saving is allowed with no member of a party present, and that all guests are welcome to remove “saver” objects from any such seats. If you give the savers no cloak of legitimacy, then there can be no argument when their towel or book is set on the deck. When they come to learn that the people they seek to screw over can police them with Carnival’s backing, the practice will stop.
Dave, this strikes me as an excellent idea.
I found the best remedy regarding deck chairs and loungers is to get a cabin with a balcony. You always have a chair, sun, fresh air, plus it’s quiet. No waiting for a seat!
Amen to that. Some members of CC drive me NUTS with their attitude that they are the only ones
on the ship. Want your own chair? Book a balcony cabin or suite. Last time I looked the Titanic was the last ship with classes. Everyone pays for the cruise, none are more entitled than any other. Move your stuff or I will. John who is the brain surgeon who thought 2 hammocks was enough for 4400 people?
Your comment is well taken and for those of us who can’t always afford a balcony the saving grace of cruising However, the Queen Mary(the original) and QE2 both originally were classed ships that came after the Titanic. Most oceanliners that predated the “cruise ship” era and were post Titanic were also classed. However they have all,long since, gone out of service or been repurposed.
I recently saw a password that also had to be 8 characters long:
snowwhite@ndthesevendwarfs
Ron
With regard to cabin temperatures being perceived to be warmer at night, maybe the exterior doors aren’t opened so often, so the outside air doesn’t interfere with the A/c system so much as it does in the daytime?
Dear John:
Leroy P. Bedwetter here. Me and the Misses, Patty Pat Bedwetter (we calls her PP for short), has not seen your response to our question we sents back in early July. It must have got lost or something.
Anyways, I was a wonderin’, whys does not Carnival no provide special accommodations for all types of addicts like theys do for smokers? While I admits that I am a simple person, I thinks not to do so is a vagrant form of discrimination.
Therefores, there should be a lounge reserved for practicing alcoholics. It coulds have rubber floor so when they fall down, they don’ts get hurt. Adds seatbelts to the stools to keeps them alcoholics from falling off and provides long straws for when their elbows gets tired.
A special section cans be added to the casino for those addicted to gambling. Waiters would be standin’ by to bring food and drink so theys do not haves to get up to eat. The chairs can be made to include a special potty so theys can take care of their business while taking care of business.
Carnival can provides the drug addicts with all the needles, spoons and lighters that they need. They cans be restricted to the port side of the ship for shotin’ up.
Us sex addicts wants our own lounge stocked with special toys (extra batteries needed) and equipped with swings. Plush pillows, leather whips, chains and thick carpeting would be nice.
Food addicts need a place for them to eats all the food they wants…wait, theys already got that. It’s called the Lido restaurant.
Yeah, while Carnival makes accommodation for them addicted to tobacco, we other addicts have to go it on our own. We wants our needs met to. Oh, and a piece of ship on a stick and a fruit basket woulds be nice as well.
Your friend,
Leroy P. Bedwetter
You probably dont see a reply from him because he doesnt reply here…you have to use the ask john section or the FB page.
John: “Sacre blue – mon derriere looks formidable” Wah, ha, ha! That’s what he said. *wink, wink*
Robert Chadband: How about ending your request with… oh, I don’t know… maybe a “thank you”?
EPH: Dude, get a freakin life, or a clue, or something. Blaming CCL for your ignorance about your cell phone, or for third-party actions (or inactions) is lame to begin with, but then to go online and “wah, wah, wah” on every site where you think you’ll have an audience is just infantile. I’m glad you won’t be cruising on CCL anymore. You should hook up with Madame FakeChanelBag.
Why, why, why do you send these jerk guests fruit and other gifts?!? It just rewards their bad behavior!
“3 pm…….The Sexy Beer Drinking Wet T-Shirt Pillow Fighting Contest……Lido Deck.”
Strange, I haven’t seen this on any of my cruises. You have that stupid hairy chest contest that has absolutely nothing to do with hair. You could at least have something involving the ladies. Then maybe I wouldn’t be sitting here reading your blog on my last day of the cruise. The schedule of things to do today is pathetic. They must not be making enough in the casino and expect us to stay in there all day today!
Another terrific blog thingy. Can’t wait for the Halloween sched. W/us sailing the Liberty the week of the 22-29, my friends are all planning what costume to bring as the read some where (here or another site) that the ships celebrate the week before & the week of. If I had a schedule for them I’d be the star for a day.
Oh I forgot, regarding the lady in the laundry. Many a time when I was in college we would return to the room and find our clothes removed so the other users could get to the washer(s) we were using. Lucky through I never lost anything but that wasn’t the case for some ppl I knew back then.
“It could be worse, you could be French”
HAHA, so funny.
And is the water, coffee, and Berocca for your hangover?
Just kidding.
This is a perfect description of what great customer service does, and it’s generally my experience with everyone from our cabin steward to our waiters to the bar staff. Then as I read your response, I realized the writer had been one of your performers, but it was still a wonderful thing for him to come here and post publicly.
But then, a few comments later, I read this:
Yet another example of what a difference Carnival’s wonderful crew and staff can make. “Famous” or “special,” doesn’t matter, that’s what a great company representative does.
And it keeps me mindful of seeking to do the same thing with the people who make my cruise vacation such a joy, trying to make them feel famous or special…or at the very least, appreciated.
I miss calling them Capers too!
Some forward-thinking cruise line will someday add a small durable waterproof 30-minute timer to the leg of their deckchairs. Something like this $8 beauty I found by searching “inexpensive timer” on Google:
http://www.cookware.com/Taylor-Long-Ring-Mechanical-Timer-in-White-5832-TYR1081.html?refid=SS75-TYR1081&SSAID=12977&refid=SS12977&df=1
That way if someone wants to leave briefly for the restroom or a burger they can set the timer. If they’re not back in 30 minutes, the stuff left on the chair goes under the chair and a new person goes on top.
(A wise cruise line would make sure that while the advertised time is 30 minutes, the timer would last 35 minutes to avoid claims of being shorted on time.)
I find it amazing that deckchairs are currently reserved on the honor system by people who leave for hours. That is people have no honor.
There will be some people who come back after 20 minutes and someone (without honor) has claimed their chair. But if they’re all on timers, another timer will run out shortly.
Seems like a simple and elegant solution. And the addition cost should be minimal (less than $10 per chair in quantity).
Just a thought…
Re Laundry: I believe there is a sign not to leave machines unattended. I too think there should at least be a chair there. How about a chair attached to the wall which the seat part can be lowered for use?
Re chair hogs: I don’t understand why there is a problem on Serenity. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t there a morning session & an afternoon one? So say for instance that there are 50 seats available, if there were no more than 50 slots sold, there should be no one without a seat. Are there more than 50 slots being sold for each session??? I don’t understand why people are saying there are chair hogs on Serenity. I’ll be sailing on Saturday and am looking forward to a stress-free Serenity experience. Whaa-hoo!
I think you’re confusing the Serenity Deck with the “Sanctuary” on Princess. There’s no charge to use the Serenity area on Carnival.
The “Sanctuary” on Princess is the one that has the morning and afternoon sessions at a fee.
Seat savers…when I worked at McDonalds 25 years ago, we would put numbers behind the hamburgers so that we knew when it was time to throw them away. For example, if a hamburger had 20 on it, it was to be tossed at 20 after the hour. Why couldn’t the same process be used on chairs. Assign one person to be in charge of putting little numbers on the chairs. When the time is up, everything is removed and stored in a safe spot. Of course perhaps colors could be assigned to represent numbers so that people didn’t switch them around. Just a thought!
Why worry about a “safe spot” for chair hogs’ stuff? It was safe enough to be left unattended on a deck chair. Put the stuff under the chair and the owner can get it at their convenience.
Hello John,
I love your blog and have it sent to my bl*ckb*rry! My wife will be finishing her last treatment of chemo for breast cancer on 10/20 and we are looking into booking the weekend cruise to no-where on the Glory. I was wondering if I can request a table for 2. I will email you back or post on facebook when we book with the cabin #. Thanks
Brian
John,
How did you know they were Silk…..HMMMMMM?
$100
I congratulate you for this great blog, really come to this coincidence, but I read a few articles and I found fascinating, I hope you continue like this.
A hug.