So in a week’s time I will be home in the bosom of my family and it appears that one of the first things I will be doing will be spending my very hard earned money on a dog. Yep, for those who have been long time blog readers, you will know I have tried over the last few years to put it off but Heidi is like the Borg……..resistance is therefore futile.
I argued that when Heidi and Kye come and sail, who will look after the dog? That was always an excellent argument because I played on Heidi’s girly heart strings telling her how lonely the dog would be when we put it in a kennel and how it would be fed yak intestines and have nobody to play with. But then my sister went and bought a house with two acres of land and two dogs and a sodding horse to go with it stating that if we bought a dog it could, “Come and stay with them.” And that was me buggered then.
So we are getting a dog, a German shepherd to be precise, and I will enter the mysterious world of dog owners.
I guess there are many reasons why people choose to own a dog. To stop a wife’s endless sodding nagging; for companionship, as an excuse to take the occasional walk. I met a chap recently who says he bought a dog to replace his wife who had sadly passed away. And I’m sorry but I don’t understand this. I understand the companionship part of it to a degree but how can a dog possibly do that? It can’t cook, or iron, although if it is a smart dog I guess you could train it to pick your dirty underwear off the bathroom floor.
Don’t get me wrong, I know getting a dog will be a good thing for Heidi and Kye and certainly with me away so much a big old German shepherd would give a huge sense of security to our home. But I know that Heidi will pour love and affection onto the little cute puppy because that’s what we humans do and sometimes I think that we love animals a lot more than we love people. And the animal we love most of all is the dog. Dogs make us go all fluffy in the head. No really……..think about it.
Take your average disaster movie……….like 2012. In the film thousands of people are killed by a devastating tsunami. But not to worry because we are treated to a close up of the heroine’s dog boarding a rescue ship just in time. Then you have Armageddon in which giant meteorites destroy most of New York. But this is no problem because when the destruction is over, we see that the dog that we thought had been killed is in fact perfectly all right since it was only people that die a horrible death.
Yep, we love dogs and now it’s my turn to love them as well. I am sure owning one will have its good points. It will bark and growl and bite the head off anyone who tries to do my family harm. In the evening it will lay down on its rug looking all sweet and cuddly. And all it demands in return for its sweetness and its work as a bodyguard is a place to do a crap and a bowl full of food.
But supposing we chose a dog that isn’t like that. Supposing we choose a dog that turns out to be violent. She is very violent. Seriously, I worry about this. Last year my mate Danny bought a dog I am not sure what make it was but it was big bugger with teeth. Danny bought it for basically the same reason as I will be buying one, security for his family as he also travels a lot for business. But in the first year, the dog had eaten the young lad who delivers the newspapers, the mailman and had tried to kill his Uncle Harold. No, don’t laugh, it’s true. His 80-year-old Uncle Harold was visiting and sneezed really loudly and Danny’s dog went for him and when I visited it would always have a face that would say, “Who the f**k are you looking at ?
Basically this dog was Joe Pesci.
I mentioned this to Heidi but to no avail, we are getting a dog and a male dog at that which means we will have to go through the whole leg humping thing and the humiliation of walking a male dog in heat as he tries to do doggie rumpy pumpy with an unsuspecting female poodle. And it won’t just be other dogs he will try and mount, nope, it will be the washing machine, the keyhole in the front door, me, Kye’s friends. Yep, it will hump anyone and everyone’s leg ……………..even mine ………..but like all living things that try and have rumpy pumpy with me …………it will do so with its eyes closed.
Heidi has not thought this through. She thinks the worst thing that could happen is that the dog will unravel the toilet roll or that the cheeky thing may during its toilet training drop a dog turd in my Nikes. No dog breeder or rescue dog center ever tells a prospective customer that one day the cute little ball of fluff in which they’re interested will try to have rumpy pumpy with a vacuum cleaner.
This is the reality of dog ownership. Turds and piss everywhere. Mess. Huge expense and the constant desire to hump something. Actually, thinking about it, why does Heidi want a dog? She’s got me……….there’s no real difference.
Time for some Q and A…..here we go
Joanne asked:
Hi John,Love your blog and comments on Facebook – you’re a credit to Carnival!
My husband and I recently got married (after 16 years together) on
9/11 – we wanted to make the day memorable for good reasonsWe will be sailing on the Carnival Valor from Miami on February 4, 2012 and I would love to know if there is something special that can be arranged on our cruise. It doesn’t have to be anything big nor costly but I would like to surprise my husband since we will be celebrating our honeymoon on the cruise.
Would you also happen to know who the CD will be on that sailing? Keep writing your honest and hilarious blogs and would love to meet up with you one day if our paths should cross while on board. This will be our third cruise on board Carnival and we look forward to many more.Thanks again,
Joanne
Johns says:
Hello Joanne,That is a very special and very memorable day to get married, Jo and I wish you many happy years together. At the time of writing, I don’t have the CD schedule yet. There have been many unexpected changes we have had to make but hopefully this week I can post it here on the blog. I will ask you to post your cabin number a week before you sail on my Facebook page and I will gladly send you a honeymoon gift. Thanks for writing and for your kind words.
Best wishes to you both.
John
Nikki Gazis asked:
Hi John,First let me say thank you.. I enjoy your posts and blogs!!!! I took my first cruise with Carnival in 2008… I am planning on my 16th Carnival cruise in January and am concerned about the loyalty program and how I will be affected… (Selfish huh?? LOL).. Is there any place that I can read about the new policy???
Thanks so so much!!!!
Nikki
John says:
Hello Nikki Gazis,It’s absolutely not selfish at all, Nikki, because your loyalty means a lot to you and of course to us as well. I am sure you will have read my recent blogs and Facebook posts that have stated that there will be four levels and while I can’t tell you what those levels will be based on just yet, I can tell you that anyone close to the next level based on the current loyalty program will have their status protected. Please don’t worry and if there is anything else you need before you cruise again, please let me know. There will be more information on the loyalty program very soon.
Best wishes.
John
William Marrin asked:
John,On my recent Freedom cruise I was severely embarrassed by the cabin boy. My wife and I were in cabin 6398 and had as we do in hotels we immediately put the do not disturb sign on the door. We are very particular people and do not want strangers touching our personal possessions. We do not need bed sheet changes and new towels as we protect the environment we live in. Your passengers should know that new towels every day is a disgrace. The planet needs help now and if we do nothing, then the temperature rise could be 7 degrees within a century, at which point the survival of our species will be in the balance. The reason we were embarrassed though was even though the do not disturb sign was on the door, the cabin boy knocked on our door at 5:30pm while we were resting from our day ashore. We did not hear the knock on the door until it was too late and the cabin boy was inside. We asked him to leave immediately and were horrified and complained to the front desk but nothing was done. I have written to the president of Carnival Cruise Lines and was told to bring this to your attention as well. Do not disturb means exactly that, doesn’t it? I am at this time thinking of never cruising Carnival again and telling everyone I can to do the same unless I receive the proper and correct apology.
John says:
Hello William Marrin,Thank you for your post and I can understand why you are so upset by what happened. However, I would like to explain the company’s position on this and I am sure this is what you will have heard from the guest services officers on the ship. If a do not disturb sign is left on the door for more than one straight 24-hour period, we will knock and enter the cabin. This is only done to make sure that the guests inside the cabin are well and are in no harm. This is something we are obligated to do and comes from what I can only describe as a harsh learning process. Please accept my apologies but I hope you understand that the stat room steward was only following instructions and only had your best interests at heart. I hope you had a wonderful cruise.
Best wishes.
John
Monty R. Jones asked:
Hello John,Just booked our cruise on the Carnival Magic for April 29, 2012 and was wondering if you were still going to be the cruise director then. I know that your life will soon be a Carnival Breeze later next year but sure was hoping that you would still be on the Carnival Magic at the end of April. Sure would like to cruise with you someday. This will be our eighth Carnival cruise and we love Carnival.
John says:
Hello Monty R Jones,Unfortunately, I will already be in the ship yard in April and so I won’t be the CD during your wonderful Carnival Magic cruise. I am sure you will have a fantastic time and if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know.
Best wishes
John
Marge Fairweather asked:
Dear John,My girlfriend and I (both Platinum guests) cruised on the Dream January 1-7,2011. Our CD, Butch, was the BEST we have had on all of our 14 past cruises. We want to cruise again on the Dream in February 2012 for one of those Zero birthdays but I am having a very hard time trying to determine if Butch will still be on the Dream then. I have called Miami and continue to look on the schedule and still have not been able to get any information. Can you please let me know where Butch will be during the month of Feb 2012 so that I can book our next cruise?
Please, please…
Thank you,
Really enjoy your blog – it keeps me smiling! We’ll be on Ecstasy on
Nov.12 but we look forward to sailing with Butch again.Marge Fairweather
John says:
Hello Marge Fairweather,I love it when guests post their admiration for my colleagues and nobody gets as many words of praise as Butch, he is truly one of a kind. Butch, though, will be on vacation come February and will then return here to the Carnival Magic which will become his ship in March. The Carnival Dream will be in the capable hands of Steve Knicley who is of course a brilliant CD who I know you will really find loads of fun. The full CD schedule will be posted soon. I see you are on board the Carnival Ecstasy so I hope you are having (had) a brilliant time.
Best wishes
John
Zac Porritt asked:
It will be a very special cruise when me and my family walk up the gang plank of the Carnival Splendor on 11/27. My wife works very hard as a nurse and it’s our 10th wedding anniversary. I heard that you do gifts and surprises so would like one delivered to my wife on 11/30 which is our actual anniversary. I didn’t know if you needed our booking number but it’s ****** and if you could decorate our cabin as well that would be a special touch for this wonderful woman. We are looking forward to our cruise and your gifts will make it extra special, I hope.
John says:
Hello Zac Porritt,Thanks so much for booking your anniversary cruise with us and I know you will have a wonderful time. You can order cabin decorations through our bon voyage department at carnival.com or indeed give them a call and I am sorry that I can’t arrange this for you. I will though, send you an anniversary gift and wish you both the best of times.
Best wishes.
John
Vic asked:
Hi John,With all this talk of change coming to the Past Guest Program, I wondered if there was any talk of a Carnival Corp program where as a Princess and Carnival cruiser my points would count for both?
John says:
Hello Vic,Unfortunately, there are no plans for this. Carnival, Cunard, Princess, Holland America, P & O, Costa Cruise Lines, Seabourn and AIDA all have very specific programs and it would be very difficult to factor all the cruise lines into one loyalty program. I hope you continue to enjoy your cruises with both Princess and Carnival and thank you for your loyalty.
Best wishes.
John
Paul Hassick asked:
John,I have followed you on Facebook and now your blog and you seem to enjoy what you do but you must realize that many of the things you write are X rated and that there are children and people who may find your comments offensive that also read your page and your blog.
John says:
Hello Paul Hassick,You are absolutely correct and I shall certainly try and remember this and apologise if anything I have written may have offended you.
Best wishes.
John
Denise Draper asked:First of all, I want to say thanks for all of the grins and giggles (and sometimes grrrrs) that I get from reading the blog thingy and the FB page. I have had the pleasure of semi-coordinating a family cruise on the Magic in February 2012. We’re currently up to 20 folks in 9 cabins.
The real fun is that this is the first cruise for 11 of them!! I can’t wait! I’m a Carnival cruiser through and through and the experience I/we had getting this cruise together just confirmed why.
We worked with a fantastic Carnival rep named Phyllis Elkins. She did a great job keeping all of my tidbits of info straight from when I called her to matching it up to my family members that called to finish up their bookings. All the usual great customer service that I’ve come to know I would get when dealing with Carnival. She didn’t stop there, though. There were little things that were just “wow” moments for me that really made dealing with her a joy. Big example…I was trying to set her up with as much information on each family member as possible so they (especially the newbies) didn’t have to do much more than call up, confirm a cabin and give her a credit card number. During this, I realized that I didn’t know my 15-year-old nephew’s birthday. I was too ashamed to ask my brother…I called myself a bad aunt. Phyllis would get it from him when he called her and she wouldn’t let him know that I didn’t know. A few days later, I received an email with the subject line “for the bad aunt.” She had sent me my nephew’s birthday! It might seem like a little thing, but it really impressed me…a lot!
I would love it if there are any beards in Phyllis’ vicinity to give her a heartfelt pat on the back for me when they walk by. She’s an awesome rep…And not a bad spy, either!
John says:
Hello Denise Draper,Another wonderful comment about one of our shoreside employees and it’s people like Phyllis that can make such a difference. Please know that I have sent this to the vice president beard in charge of our call centers and I know that Phyllis will be thrilled when she sees this. I will be seeing you on the Carnival Magic and if there is anything I can do for you, please let me know and get ready for a brilliant time.
Best wishes to you all.
John
Tommy Lyons asked:
I saw on your blog about clearing out the Punchliner between shows so others would have a chance to see a show. When I was on the Dream and the Fun Dude who I believe was the club manager did clear out the club and he did an excellent job interacting with the guest and maintaining order. He is an excellent manager, comedian and gentleman. I think it would help if he introduced himself on the welcome aboard show where he could introduce himself and talk about the club and let everyone know what to expect.
John says:
Hello Tommy Lyons,Jeff, the Fun Dude, is quite a character isn’t he and he runs his comedy club as well as anyone we have in that position. We are now adopting his clearance policies in all our comedy clubs and it seems to be working. I think it’s a great idea for him to introduce himself before at the welcome aboard show and I will ask my colleagues to make sure all the comedy club managers do this. Great suggestion, Tommy, and I hope you had a brilliant laugh at the Punchliner.
Best wishes.
John
That’s all for today.
I have concentrated a lot on the Carnival Liberty and the Carnival Magic in the past few weeks and I was reminded of two big voyages that are upcoming for the Carnival Inspiration and the Carnival Paradise so over the next few weeks I will talk a bit more about them. Let’s remind ourselves of where they are going starting with the Carnival Paradise as she heads to Tampa.
- Mon, Nov, 28 Long Beach 8am-4pm
- Tue, Nov, 29 at sea
- Wed, Nov, 30 Cabo 12pm-7pm
- Thu, Dec, 01 PVR 11am-7pm
- Fri, Dec, 02 at sea 10am-6pm
- Sat, Dec, 03 at sea
- Sun, Dec, 04 at sea
- Mon, Dec, 05 Puntarenas 8am-7pm
- Tue, Dec, 06 at sea
- Wed, Dec, 07 Panama Canal 6am-5pm
- Thu, Dec, 08 Cartagena 9am-4pm
- Fri, Dec, 09 at sea
- Sat, Dec, 10 Cayman 7am-4pm
- Sun, Dec, 11 at sea
And now the Carnival Inspiration’s journey to California:
- Sat, Dec, 03 Tampa dep @ 4pm
- Sun, Dec, 04 at sea
- Mon, Dec, 05 Cayman 8am-5pm
- Tue, Dec, 06 at sea
- Wed, Dec, 07 Cartagena 7am-2pm
- Thu, Dec, 08 Panama transit 6am-5pm
- Fri, Dec, 09 at sea
- Sat, Dec, 10 Punta Arenas, C.R. 8am-6pm
- Sun, Dec, 11 at sea
- Mon, Dec, 12 at sea
- Tue, Dec, 13 at sea
- Wed, Dec, 14 Puerto Vallarta 8am-4pm
- Thu, Dec, 15 Cabo 8am-3pm
- Fri, Dec, 16 at sea
I will fill in the entertainment line ups and special events soon and both ships will have dance instructors, bridge instruction and arts and crafts as well as other special events. I have never done a Panama Canal crossing but from what everyone tells me, they are very special voyages and I wish all of you who are sailing on the Carnival Paradise and the Carnival Inspiration’s repositioning cruises the most wonderful time.
So what an incredible day it was in Galveston. In days gone past we would have invited a few travel agents on a new ship, given them a few drinks and that would have been it. But there we were in Galveston, opening the doors to 4,000 people to come and enjoy a free concert by one of the world’s top bands. The atmosphere was electric and excitement was equally shared by the residents of Galveston, most of whom were wearing, “Galveston Loves Magic” pins and the Carnival executives who under the charge of our Chief Marketing Officer Jim Berra put together an incomparable day and my congratulations to them for doing so.
Obviously, it was a huge thrill for me to introduce Maroon 5 but I have to tell you I was a bit nervous. There I was, five minutes before the concert, listening to the fans screaming and shouting and chanting the band’s name. Their anticipation had reached fever pitch and they were ready to give the band the most incredible welcome and judging by what a few of the ladies at the front were wearing, they were also ready to give the band anything they wanted and one or two looked like they were ready to spread easier than warm butter.
So the 4,000 people were ready to go crazy for Moves Like Jagger. But first, this fat English bloke was going to come out which would drastically change that mood. So my nerves therefore were based on the fact that my job was to go out on stage and put the crowd back in the mood they were already in before I walked out on stage in the first place. But it went well, I think, and along with the wonderful Justin, our dance contest winner, and some silly jokes the audience seemed to appreciate my 10 minutes and I hope they had some fun. We shot lots of video and in case you missed any of the highlights, here are some of them as shot by Peter the Hair, Jay I Like Guys and Eric the Beard.
So what of the band. Well they were not what I expected. What do I mean by that? Well …………… they were …………ummmm……………nice. Really nice, really pleasant and not very ………..well……… rock and roll.
There is a program on Discovery Channel called The Most Dangerous Jobs in the World which shows dangerous careers like tunnel builders, high rise construction, crab fishing, mine clearing, etc. But if you look at years past, being a rock star was surely the most dangerous job in the world.
Let’s see how many we can list from days gone by. OK…………….here we go. Jimi Hendrix, John Bonham, Jim Morrison, Marc Bolan, Eddie Cochran, Brian Epstein, Duane Allman, most of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Keith Moon, Cozy Powell, Alex Harvey, Ricky Nelson, Pete Ham and Tom Evans from Badfinger, Tim Hardin, Phil Lynott, Janis Joplin. Bon Scott from AC/DC, half of the Grateful Dead, Chas Chandler, Johnny Kidd, Rory Gallagher, John Belushi, Elvis, Patsy Cline, Brian Jones, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Sid Vicious, even Karen Carpenter.
Suicide, plane or helicopter crashes. Car accidents, drowning in their own vomit, or in their own swimming pools. Picking up a guitar back then it seems was as lethal as picking up a rattlesnake.
Look how many of those stars died so young back then. Coming home from school and saying you were going to fight in a war would have prompted a sigh of relief from your parents, “Well thank God you’re not going to be in a band.”
Now, though, things are different. With the notable and noble exception of Kurt Cobain, who killed himself with a shotgun, and the sad demise of the brilliant Amy Winehouse and of course Michael Jackson who I don’t think we will ever truly understand, today’s rock stars seem to be in good health.
Last time I looked, Justin Beaver hadn’t smoked a palm tree and driven his skateboard into his swimming pool and drowned.
Perhaps this is the problem with music today. Back when I was a teenager, I would rush to see a band like Black Sabbath, The Who and Iron Maiden partly because I loved their music and because I had a feeling that they would all be dead by the following week.
You certainly don’t get any of that from Adam Levine. I watched him perform and while the bloke has a brilliant voice and the girls all want to see his gentlemen’s sausage there was no sense that he might be found the next morning in a Galveston hotel room full of naked women with vodka bottles all around.
I have to admit, though, that I really liked their music, I mean I really did and that surprised me because I don’t like most modern music. There was talk of us bringing in the Red Hot Chili Peppers for the Galveston event, who, so far as I’m concerned, could not make a worse sound if they spent an hour shoving cattle prods up their bottoms.
So here we are, the Carnival Magic has started her cruises from Galveston and I have to say something really important. The steakhouse is sold out every night with a waiting list of 80 names and the Cucina del Capitano will have served 600 by the end of the cruise. RedFrog had a quiet first night but is now the center of attention with the so very talented Ron Pass packing the piano bar. The atmosphere is fantastic.
As you may have read on my Facebook page, the ship had to cancel the port of Costa Maya and head instead to Progreso. This allows us to continue and complete the maintenance and repair of the starboard aft thruster and having the ship overnight in Progreso allows us to do this. Now obviously a change like this can cause some concern and some complaints. But do you know how many formal complaints we have had…………seven. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that there are others who haven’t voiced a formal complaint but it’s still pretty amazing that just seven comments stating that they didn’t like the itinerary change. The current group of guests on the Carnival Magic seem like a relaxed easy going bunch which is what I’ve found in general about our Texas-based ships. They’re just here to have a good time no matter what. Guests here love the ship, they really love the ship and 99% of the guests have accepted the change and are continuing to laugh, have fun and enjoy their vacation and that’s simply brilliant.
But it’s not just those on the ship. You see I stayed in a hotel for two days and listened to people talking in the restaurants and around the streets of Galveston. They were all speaking with huge pride that the Carnival Magic was there and indeed that they felt that the Carnival Magic was theirs. Texans are fun, Texans are spirited, Texans want everything bigger and that’s why Galveston is therefore the perfect home for the Carnival Magic. Fun for y’all…………….y’all for fun.
My only disappointment so far is that I haven’t seen one cowboy hat, not a single one. How can this be? It’s the inaugural cruise from Texas and we didn’t have any cowboy hats. I met loads of blog readers, many from Texas but none were cowboys. Where were the rough, tough, cowboys who sleep under the stars and fart around the camp fire?
I wanted a tobacco chewing, snakeskin boot wearing, howdy partner saying dude who grew up on a diet of country music and who could teach me how to rope cattle and ride bucking horses. I wanted to meet a real cowboy, but there were none.
But then suddenly, last night I met one. He was in the RedFrog Pub and he had a cowboy hat on. He wasn’t though quite what I had expected. His jeans were four inches too short, his stomach seven inches too fat and along with his cowboy hat, he wore a t-shirt with a picture of a Harley Davidson that said, and I quote: “If you haven’t seen God… it’s because you’re not going fast enough.”
See y’all after supper.
Your friend,
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Dogs are the best! But if you’re worried about mean you should get rid of the German Sheperd and get something more sweet, cuddly and goofy… like a Beagle!
No, keep the German Shepherd. My son has one which is the sweetest, gentlest animal (even with my little grandson), but also right there to protect if he feels the family is threatened. You will love a German Shepherd.
Sorry John your life is going to the dogs. You thought your “starfish” wife to to much of the bed. Just wait till that cuddly little puppy grows up and still want to sleep on the bed. Oh and when you return from 5 months at sea and you try to jump in the bed for some rumpy pumpy and fido looks at you with his big white teeth bared growling to tell you not in his bed.
ROFL!!! yet so true
John, another great blog as usual. Good luck on the new family addition. However I’m glad I’m not tied down with a pet and my kids are all grown. Which works out great. I don’t have to put either in a kennel this weekend while I live the “Dream” for Thanksgiving.
Thank you John & Carnival. Excellent job. Great concert & very happy to have Carnival Magic in Texas. Enjoyed my weekend stay in Galveston after driving down from Dallas but sorry I didn’t get a chance to see you. Cruised with you twice on Liberty & with Saints & Sinners on Legend. Had a blast when you came to Dallas to shoot the Beach ball commercial. Hopefully we’ll cruise on the same ship again someday soon.
I love my German Shepherd, but she sheds like crazy. You have to buy a special comb and use it every day or your house and clothes will be covered in dog hair.
John,
Having a dog is great. However, please make sure you keep your shoes in a closet. If left out the dog will think it’s a chewy.
Mary
PS I can’t wait to hear the stories you’ll have because of the dog.
Good point – shoes and sorry John, but you’ll need to be picking up your underpants off the floor. One of my dogs was fond of sneaking into the laundry room and retrieving mine… then taking them out the doggie door into the back yard to chew them up! I went through more underpants when he was a pup…
Paul Hassick,
John’s blog is never “X” rated. If may contain inuendos and some blanks at times but it only the dirty minds take them as “X” rated. Most just take it as humor. Like if I was to say “FFS” and you don’t have to google it to see what it means then you got a dirty mind also.
Ed, the name Catherine means “Purity” and must for a reason… I had to ask Uncle Google about FFS and even he had multiple choices. Lol!
Cathy
I am a Texan, John. You need to go to Shepler’s in Fort Worth and getcherself a real cowboy hat.
Love that you are getting a dog! I love mine a bunch. He is a real companion to me and my hubby. You are lucky that someone will take care of him while you and the family cruise with you. A hint…get him “fixed” while he is YOUNG…he will then not hump anything…lol…invest in lots of bones…he will chew! As for you…you are one of a kind…so the wife will not replace you with just a dog!
Love your FB and blog!
And, take him to training. Good training at the beginning will keep your fears from coming true.
A dog will be great for the family back home. May I, however suggest perhaps a smaller bread might be a better choice. I have no idea how big your non-ship home but will German Shepherd have enough room to play out side and leave “gifts” while still giving Kye a place to play? Just a thought
If you want genuine Texas, Oklahoma or New Mexico Cowboys you would have to bring in George Strait or Willy Nelson. They would find a way to make it to the concert. Cowboys like Country and Western music. Two steppin music is good. Just a thought and thank you for all you do John.
Hey John,
You will get used to and love having a dog. Though before Heidi gets any particular breed, she should take the little one to visit a breeder of sheppards to she how she interacts with the breed and if there is any allergic reaction. Though the sheppard breed does have good temperment, they can go a little crazy. I am speaking from experience unfortunately. Owning a dog is a big responsability and the decision on the breed is very important. Nothing worse than having to find a home for the new addition to the family due to allergies or temperment.
All the best with finding that new addition to your family.
John, we have a White German Shepherd (also called American White Shepherd). I think you will be pleased with the breed. We have always had female dogs so have not dealt with the um..doggy dance you speak of. Shepherds are gentle, smart, loyal and very eager to please their humans. They are very good around children, but require a daily walk and brushing. Shepherds love the social interaction of a family and once past the puppy stage, won’t chew on things he shouldn’t. I cannot think of a better breed of dog for a family. Enjoy your new pup!
The Galveston Meet up at Willie G’s was great! Thank you and the beards for a wonderful time. My husband and I enjoyed meeting you and M5 is one of our favorite bands. We sail on the Magic November 27th and I can hardly wait! Thanks for all you do and have a great time off with your family.
Had German Shepherds for 60 years. Current is Stormy an 8 year old adopted after Charley found wandering as a puppy in the wood. She has never pooped or piddled in the house. Will guard the house unless you wlecome the visitor and is super freindly to all off the property.
If you want training tips get in touch. I know GS.
I was one of the winners from your blog, it was an amazing time in Galveston! Loved Maroon 5, and can’t wait to sail the Magic!
Do not, I repeat DO NOT, forget to give your new puppy a Christmas gift! They know! We forgot once and then hubby had to run out to purchase toys and goodies and all he got for it was a loud sniff sound and the sight of her backside leaving the room!! We always make sure to have a gift bag full of goodies now.
Hello John- Great blog today. Good luck with the new puppy and thank you for the funny stories you tell!! I’ve never found your humor to be x-rated, but always find it to be x-tra funny! From Mike.
Forget the dog…all pets are more trouble than they are worth, particularly when trying to plan a cruise! We now have a mini-macaw who is as loud as any dog, serving the watchbird role just fine. All the (xxx rated 4 letter word here) the spill out goes to the bottom of the cage easy enough to clean up once a month or so. They live longer than we ever will, and can stay in their cage for as long as we put food and water in it and don’t have to go for walks in the snow. What more could you want.
John, we just returned from the Victory Nov 6-13th cruise. BEST CRUISE EVER. Karl with a K was a blast, kept us hopping and trying to figure out how to do it all. Thanks for the goodies you sent. We enjoyed this so much we are planning on doing it again next year. Could not have asked for a better cruise. Roger
I enjoy your blog and your facebook page as well. I liked the dog themed blog. My husband is built much like you and he tells me the reason for a dog is the walking. The Dr. says exercise so he says if we get a dog he will walk it to get his exercise. I don’t buy this but maybe it will be your exercise as well. I prefer to stick to cats!!
hey John
having dealt with german shepards
(don’t mention the germans basil)
both male, and female i have loved them all
you might be better off trying to talk heidi
into getting a female for several reasons
1 they are generaly a little smaller which means being a little easier to walk, and control in general.
2 males will pee on anything and everything to mark their space, and like some men will have to go out every 20 minutes to pee.
although this may be good news if heidi wants too recarpet the house.
and finaly and maybe most important get your shepard from a reputable breeder, ask abut the bloodline and if the “family line” is prone to hip issues as german shepards are really prone to hip issues, it will break your heart to see your doggie trying to get around with problems in its hips and back legs
good luck and best wishes
mitch
John Im so happy that you will have a new puppy who will grow up to be a dog!! We have 5 dogs and they are wonderful, even with the messes sometimes. My Hubby travels all over the world so when he is gone I have my 5 adorable pups are wonderful ..Yep I even talk to them as hubby does too. I could not live without our dogs, who think they are people, they are a joy to have! (we are also fortunate to be able to cruise when our youngest is in college and she will take care of our dogs when we want to travel. Have fun with your dog you will fall in love with your new puppy..even if there is poop involved!!!
John, don’t let anyone talk you out of a German Shephard. We’ve had two and they were the most gentle, smart dogs ever. I do agree with the poster who said to get him fixed, though. We have to agree to do that before we can take one from the shelter! BTW, my husband is gone a lot and I love having my dog to talk to, uhh I mean have keep me company. Thanks for another great blog.
Nice blog as usual John!
A comment about the room steward and towels thing. I am sure most people like getting their rooms done twice a day. Certainly I do appreciate that. I was on Carnival Magic on a 12-day cruise las July with my girlfriend. We had late seating at the dining room so it usually left us with some free time to either spend at leisure through the ship or simply to have a short nap. We never had our stewardess come in the middle of a nap. We did use the SNOOZIN sign but we didn’t leave it on all the time, though.
One thing I did find that I didn’t like is that we got our towels changed with new ones every single day even if we left them in the rack and not the floor as advised by a sign in the bathroom. I don’t know if it is standard practice for them to just replace the towels regardless but I find it wasteful to replace used towels daily, specially after seeing what it takes to wash them in the Behind the Fun tour. Towels usually don’t get dirty after one use and normally the ones we left on the floor were those used to keep water from spilling out of the shower area.
I understand your trepidations about having a dog…bugger, puppy (our three “adult” puppies hate the word dog). Believe me, your puppy will be a great companion for you, Heidi, and Kye. Also, your concerns about the puppy maybe becoming violent. My experiences have shown me that humans train a dog…bugger again, puppy, to become violent. If you treat the puppy with love and respect, they will love and respect you in return. If you treat the puppy mean, they will be mean and violent.
Hi John, the upside of having a dog, and take it from me, much easier then kids, especially daughters, I have one of those too. Here is a list of things that are better than kids. Dogs never complain if you stay out late. Dogs never ask you where you have been. Dogs never barrow the car. Dogs don’t go out on dates with your money. Dogs don’t need a new outfit for the dance. They don’t argue with you about anything. They are always glad to see you. And best of all, they don’t go to college!!!
Dave
OMG John. I’ve recently had surgery on my throat and it was hard for me to stifle my laughs. I have to be careful so I don’t bust my stitches or cause my throat to hurt. Anyhow, I’m sorry you were disappointed that you didn’t see cowboy boots and hats in Galveston. That image for Texas is a misconception…you won’t find a lot of that in Houston or Galveston; maybe if you were in Dallas you’d see more of it. Now I wish I had driven down to G-Town in hopes of running into you. Keep up the good work and keep the laughs coming. Also, for the person who threatened not to cruise with Carnival again because the room steward ignored the DND sign is a bit dramatic! Your response to him was excellent.
John – We have a family of dog trainers, and I know that the most crucial aspect of dog ownership is to pick the right dog for your family in the first place. Please do not be swayed by any perceptions you may have of dog breeds from populist sources like movies or individual anecdotes. I can only recommend to you most highly that your family begins shopping for a dog by first speaking to a knowledgeable dog trainer whom you can work with in the long term in your home area. Find out about matching your needs and lifestyle to the most compatible breeds, and obtain recommendations for reputable breeders to visit and “window shop”. Do not rush into it in a day, as this crucial decision will stay with you for 15 years or so, for better or worse. Please research the issue to get the best outcome, and I wish you well with your ultimate choice.
John, Nikki the nurse here. My dog’s breeder is about to have another litter. Although not a German Shepherd, she breeds belgian shepherds. My dog is gentle and intelligent, loves children and grown men cross the road when I walk him. It’s his mum that is having the litter and I would highly recommend the breed. Look at this website to contact them. Xanova.co.uk. Litter due early December, ready early Feb. Beautiful dogs
I’m so excited for you and Heidi and Kye, getting a dog! I have three, all males, and not one of them has ever done anything objectionable to anyone’s leg. The trick is to be sure to neuter him (I know, hard for men to accept) at 6 months. If you wait too long the humping is imbedded in their brains but if you do it at 6 months they never know what they’re missing and your neighbors will be happy to know that Princess and Fluffy are safe! You’ll love this dog, John, and it will love you forever in return. I only wish I could take mine with me everywhere I go… oh wait, I do have sleep apnea….
While I find William Marrin’s concern for our environment admirable, I also sense something misguided about it. If he were so concerned about global warming that he and his wife refused fresh, clean towels and bed sheets, what about the ship itself? He should think about the fact that the ship’s engines are powered by fossil fuels that probably contribute more to global warming that his towels and bed linens.
LOL! That’s the first thing I thought of. If he has already bought into this lie, he should be sailing exclusively on sailboats, or other non engine vessels.
And when mother Earth needs to make a temperature correction, she will simply burp another volcano.
Only fools think they can have any power over Mother nNture. She’s the only thing that has lasted all these years.
John,
A German Shepherd is he most loving, kind and protecive animal there is. We have had 10 of them. They are just the best, except their shedding.
Good luck,
Bill and Joan Russell
Currently cruising on Liberty
Thank you for all the nice things you say about the Texans. We are (as a whole) a fun loving, laid back and friendly group of people.
After 22 cruises on Carnival, all but one in the Caribbean, I can honestly say I have yet to meet anyone from Texas that I didn’t like & I have met many over the years.
Perhaps some people don’t like your accent or don’t understand what you are saying. All I can say is that in my home country of Scotland there are so many different accents or twangs, I am at a loss to fully understand sometimes. However, that is what makes the world go round – variety is the spice of life – we all should understand the diverse nature of fellow humans & be thankful that we are not all the same – that would be utterly boring.
Hope I meet you some day!
Grizel
John, I know that your future pet will become a much loved family member. My concern is for you, though. With you being gone so much will the dog remember you and therefore allow you to sleep in your bed, which of course means he will no longer be allowed to sleep in your spot. Also, the fact that you sit around in your underpants may cause great stress to you as your new beloved friend will undoubtedly do his best to show you who is boss with a little cha cha cha on your backside. But, other than that, a pet is absolutely priceless and in the not too far distant future, you will wonder what you ever did without him, or at least Heidi and Kye will wonder.
Thank you for all you do and for your wonderful blog which keeps us entertained and well informed.
Congrats on getting a dog! I’ve had several Shepherds. My last two were English Longworth Shepherds (black as opposed to saddle back). I have found the females to be the most gentle and protective and easiest to train. Their goal in life is to please. Also, rather than brush everyday I started early-on using the vacuum…they love it. A dog, any breed, will love you unconditionally.
Hi John,
Thanks for the answer regarding Butch’s schedule on the Dream in February. Since I hadn’t heard from you and couldn’t seem to get information from Miami, we changed our plans to go on the Liberty (because Butch was there not to mention the great changes on the ship.
You mentioned that Butch would be on vacation in February (we were going on the Feb. 4 cruise) but if Butch will still be on Liberty on the January 28 cruise, we will change dates. Sorry for all of the questions but this is a very important celebration for two Platinum cruisers.
We hope to cruise with you soon also – perhaps in Europe on the Breeze.
Keep smiling,
Marge Fairweather
John, Unless you have a huge yard and lots of space for dog poo. I would suggest doing some research on dogs. I have owned most breeds at one time or another and we now have a corgi and a brusells griffon. The corgi (female) is playful with the grandchildren and not agressive. She is a great indoor dog. She does let you know when someone comes aground. The griffon is a terrier (teror) type. He likes to be outside and dig holes. Before buying or getting a dog check out the history of the breed and how they will best fit into your living conditions.
God Bless, Delmer
Warning Warning Warning — From experience I suggest you DO NOT Believe the following from any family members that, when asking and begging for a dog they say the following:
“I’ll take care of it”
“I’ll feed it and walk it and clean up after it. I Promise?”
Take it from the owner of a 120 lb Lab/Pit Bull mix. A very great lovable dog. YOU will be the one walking the dog. You will be the one cleaning up after it.
And when the dog wants some affection .. It will go to the women in the family. When it wants to be fed or taken out side.. It will come to you.
I Love my dog! And he Loves me back … But it seems our relationship is .. Wife gets the fun lovey part of what comes from those loving affection dog eyes. I get those lovey affection eyes when he wants me to take care of what happens on the other end.
Steve
John–
what are you worried about? You aren’t there to take care of it… ???
Congratulations on getting the dog! Any pet is an asset to the family as they become part of the family! They provide unconditional love!
OMG…..once that towel touches my bottom one time it goes in the laundry!!!!! ICK! That’s just nasty!!!
John,
You need to get a puppy. It will adjust to the family and you all will grow together. It will be your best friend, I think you know this deep down. Don’t think about the cold snowy nights walking and picking up it’s poop, just think of the cuddling and love it will give you.
Tim…..
Seems like everyone in is in support of the dog – I was rooting for you. Can’t stand having to get a sitter and all the jumping in my lap and licking my face. Basically like having a second child! Good Luck.
John, I have to agree with most of the points my fellow bloggers have mentioned about getting a new puppy for the family. Taking the time to research the breeds, checking to see if anyone in the family has allergies is important. My neighbor found out the hard way when the puppy he brought home made his son ill. So take the time and when you make the choice enjoy the puppy. I know that our 6 yr. old pup gives us a lot of enjoyment.
William Marrin,
There is a thing on the inside of every cabin door. It is called a deadbolt.
Dear John,
I got the Cruise Critic email today that had their picks for the Best Of…
The Carnival Cruise Lines ships got the BEST OF VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY award. No Brainer there!
They also were awarded the BEST PUB AT SEA award for the Red Frog Pub (The Blue Iguana will be so jealous!)
I just wanted to say a big congratulations to CCL for their new innovations and deciding to put them onto all of the companies ships was a sign that they know they discovered something special.
I can’t wait to do the same.
The Cruzin2some
John,
You met “GingerFrog”..hes a real Texan,even tho he doesnt wear a cowboy hat either.;.
oh well.
We’re Having a Great time aboard the Beautiful Carnival Magic!
-Kandy, Doreen and “GingerFrog”
Don’t shop, adopt! I’m sure you could even find a German Shepard…have a heart and save a pup…
John,
Dogs are such a wonderful addition to a family – regardless of breed. We have 3 mixed breed rescued dogs. No matter what breed or gender you have, good training and lots of love is essential. We believe that one of the dogs we adopted was abused in his prior home. He was very skittish and a little mean but with love and some appropriate training, he has turned into a wonderful, loving pet…and a great watchdog. He’s a chihuahua mix.
You *can* train a dog (at least a Labrador Retriever like I have) to pick up your underpants. Our dog helps with the laundry, and helps recycle too! Video of the recycling is below, I didn’t want to put my underpants on Youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFNTYYvQwt4
If you are worried about an aggressive dog, think about adopting a lab. They are smart, and very gentle – great with kids! Not that German Shepherds can’t be gentle, but it isn’t the same demeanor, and adopting a German is tougher than adopting a lab, because you don’t know how the previous owner raised it. All labs are laid back.
Just discovered your blog while sailing into the Port of Tampa on the Inspiration after another fabulous Carnival vacation. Love your writing and got quite a chuckle from the column about getting a dog. I look forward to reading more in the future, and to cruising with Carnival (and sister companies) soon! My next cruise is in less than a month to Aruba and Curacao (on Holland America) – any suggestions to help make it special?
Thanks and keep up the great writing!
I get so tickled when you act like you don’t like something Heidi wants to do when it is so clear that you adore her and everything she does. Some people complain that they feel some of your comments are X rated, so they just shouldn’t read what offends them. I enjoy your facebook and blog because you are not only funny but you are very caring person. Looking forward to cruising with you again in February. We were on the Legend when you and had the greatest time. Please just keep doing what you are doing and that is bringing enjoy to others. Enjoy your time home with the girls.
John,
Got off the Magic this morning and we had a fantastic time largely due to Mike Archer the guitarist who ROCKED the RED FROG PUB every night except Friday night (where he should have been instead of the atrium). This was his first cruise ever (yes we broke in a Cruise virgin). He is an AWESOME asset to Carnival and the Red Frog is the perfect venue for this very personable man. We made such good friend with the “regulars” of the pub (it was like Cheers in there every night) not to mention the awesome bartenders and waitstaff especially Jens who always had a smile on his face. We went in there on accident the first evening, we heard the music and wandered in. We spent every night in there after that as we can attest by our sign and sail account. Mike Archer and the Red Frog staff truly made our cruise memorable! It was a pleasure meeting you John. Hugs to you and your girls! Have a great week off!!
Just be sure that you get said puppy from a reputable, ethical breeder. Look to the breed club in your area. You will have all of the support and guidance you need to keep the rumpy pumpy to a minimum, prevent ultra-violence and ensure that Kye has a best friend and protector for the rest of her childhood. It doesn’t get better than kids and dogs…good luck!
I was on the Miracle when your blog came out. I am so happy that you have chosen a GSD for your dog. Since my Molly passed last February I have adopted two rescue German Shepherds and I promise that you have chosen truly a special breed. They are not only protectors, super smart and loyal but you will come to have a friend like no other!!! Please post pics!!!
William Marrin:
First of all, if you are SOOOOO concerned about the environment….you will not cruise at all.
The “footprint” you made with that cruise is HUGE compared to the small “footprint” washing towels for a week will leave.
So quit being a hypocrite and please stay home!!!
John: I did indeed have my cowboy hat on and David had on this rattlesnake boots….. even though we are not from Texas…..
We had a good time on the cruise. It was good to see folks we have not seen in awhile.
We got home yesterday and I spent 1/2 an hour on the phone with my PVP (Guy #82330) making arrangements for 2012. It is going to be a GREAT cruising year for us.
We can’t wait!!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Thanks for sharing nice post.I have been looking information on the — Responses to GOING TO THE DOGS——–.This discussion has solve my concern to a
a great extent..I am very grateful..
cruise lines jobs
You will adore having a German Shepherd Dog (yes that is the full correct name of the breed!). A well trained and well loved GSD makes a wonderful companion animal. I had the most wonderful dog called Sandy who lived to the extremely old age of 17. She patrolled around the house and she loved to patrol around the pool, GSDs need a job to do! Best of luck to Heidi and Kye when the get the new puppy. It will be wonderful!
Hello John:
The choice of a male German Shephard Dog is the best one you could make for the reasons you have presented. Loyal, protective, smart, great companion dog, good with kids, and loves to work.
It is the last part that gets some people in trouble with this breed. The dog likes to do things with the pack. Going for a long walk is a daily requirement. And not just until the dog poops, or the dog will quickly learn to hold it, knowing that as soon as the poo drops, home we go.
Give him a two syllable name, not one. Wolf is one, wolfie would be two.
Give them something to chew on when they are teething and your shoes will be ok. Our dog did eat my wife’s underwear, never did figure that one out, but he grew out of it without any trips to the vet. So keep the scanties off of the floor. Buy an extra large dog crate. Keep the puppy in there at night until he learns to ask you to go outside for a pee. Then later, when he is grown, it will be a place of calm when he needs his man-cave.
So rule #1, excercise (walk, run, etc) with the dog at least 30 minutes every day.
Every day, give the dog an all over massage. You will find things like an injury, or a burr, or an unwelcome insect, much faster, as dogs tend to hide things.
Find a good grade of dog food, GSD doesn’t need corn or other grains, so look at the ingredients. Meat is good as the first ingredient, and unless you want Wulfie to eat Yak intestines, not meat by-products. Our GSD did well on Canidae grain free. Then find another good grade of dog food, and rotate every month or so. Dogs build up allergies if they eat the same thing all of the time. Do not feed the dog chocolate, grapes, or onions, can be fatal. Cabbage and potatoes are ok once in a while. Half the days ration in the morning, and half at supper time, let them eat as soon as you are done. No begging at the table, they must lay down somewhere away.
Heidi must take the GSD through canine kindergarden and then at least the first obedience class. Learn to use rewards for training, like a good atta boy, or a dog treat like dry liver, or bits of jerky. No smacking or hitting the dog. They don’t know what it means to get spanked or hit, it does build aggression. At the extreme, if the dog does something bad and you catch him when he did it, hold him down on his back and kind of grab his throat in a claw hold for a few seconds, I even growl a little. That is what momma did when he was bad, and we all obey our momma.
When you call the dog to come, always use a happy voice and a pet pet and “good boy” when they get there is perfect. Never call the dog to you to discipline him, go get him, or you will teach him not to come when you call.
Socialize the dog, ask other people if it is alright to let your dog say hello, and no humping allowed. We had an intact male GSD and he never humped anything or anybody. He died a virgin sad to say. At least that is what he told me. He did leave a few little pearly drops on the floor once in a while, but I have noticed that when a male dog is neutered, they have a harder time staying lean.
When your dog is new to your family, do not try to stare the dog down. This is aggressive in the dog world, also do not try to smell his butt, this is very cheeky to a dog.
Keep him brushed, as others say, they shed year round, more in the spring when the weather warms up. A bath once a week or less is good, watch out for dry skin. Itching is a sign of improper diet, or too much bathing and not enough rinsing.
GSD is very smart, they just can’t talk. They get a big vocabulary, you will be amazed what the dog can do on command. Simple things like when you leave the house and say, “guard the house” they will go to a favorite spot and not try to leave with you.
The dog whisperer, Caesar Milan has some good books on living with dogs, but not breed specific. The Monks of New Skete breed GSD and their methods work to insure a well trained pack.
http://www.dogsbestfriend.com/
This url goes to a set of DVD, they also have good books, like how to raise a puppy.
Wise decision John. Heidi will master the dog, she has the right personality and will provide firm, but loving leadership when you are not home. The GSD also loves children and will stand between your family and any possible danger. They have no quit in them. They are a “powerful” breed, and must be trained and loved, can’t be ignored or chained up in the yard.
Hope you have a great vacation with your girls.
Your Friend
Bill Heck
i am seeking job on boat i am try to often please tell me , how i can do.i like to working waitress,service,housekeeping ,kitchen.