Normally I start a blog with some whimsical nonsense about my bottom or something similar but not today. I hate to have to sit here in my underpants and write this but I have to explain something. You see over the last few months the beards and I have had to start checking each question I answer to make sure that comments and questions are indeed written by the person they say they are. Bugger, I didn’t explain that very well, did I?
What I mean is that we check to see if Mrs. Smith who is sailing on the Carnival Dream and is asking for her daughter to get a free Rolex because it’s her birthday is indeed sailing and is indeed a real person. And when we check we discover that most are real and that maybe one or two are not. Worse than that, though, are the people who are posting comments who obviously have one agenda in mind, to cause trouble. I guess there has always been a dark side to the internet. And for all the fun sites and on- line shopping and a chance to look at Latvian women in suspenders, it also provides instant access to those with intent to shock or to provoke.
I have learned in the past few months that you call such individuals “trolls” and these are known for posting malicious messages in online discussion forums and blogs, usually anonymously, with the prime motive of upsetting other readers. And as the blog heads towards 13 million views and Facebook already at 21,000 like thingies I have seen a large increase in the number of trolls on our social media sites
Funny isn’t it, when I was at school, a “troll” was a Norwegian mythological monster that usually lives under a bridge. Sadly, the beasts on the internet are human and all too real. Many trolls I think are simply internet bullies and I am having to be more and more careful what I post. Two of the questions I ignored today were regarding a man who claimed he saw a crewmember steal his wallet and another that calls the nice people who read my blog and Facebook pages all sorts of names and accuses me of having a hidden agenda to take as much traffic away from another cruise site. What do these two questions have in common? Well, both are posted with screen names rather than real names. I would have taken the comment that alleged a crew member had stolen a wallet seriously but if that was a real accusation surely the author would have told me his real name rather than write to me under the handle of Parrotthead121. There are many legitimate reasons for hiding one’s identity online.
Your political or views, for example, may not always find favour with your employers of course but most of the time a screen name is used because the writer doesn’t want people to know who they are and that anonymity gives them a Superman/Superwoman-style strength.
Some months ago someone whose name I won’t mention here wrote a rather nasty comment about my daughter. This totally useless, sick, waste of oxygen is still sending in nasty comments which, of course, we don’t post. That’s easy. We ignore it and treat it with the contempt it deserves but I guess what I am saying is it’s getting harder to spot the comments that are penned by trolls and myself and the beards will continue to try to weed them out.
Now don’t get me wrong, I will never stop posting the criticisms of Carnival or myself but as the blog and Facebook continue to grow we will continue to work hard to give the trolls bugger all air time.
I am thick skinned now and I have had to be but occasionally it gets to you, doesn’t it? In cyberspace ………..nobody cares if they make you scream.
So on that note, let’s press on with today’s Q and A shall we?
Julie Hussey asked:
Hi John,I really enjoy reading your blog, keep up the entertaining work! I’m not sure if this question is something you can help with, but, I’m wondering if it’s possible to sign up for the “Behind the Fun” tour, prior to sailing. My DH and I are sailing April 1 on Carnival Magic, for our dual birthdays, and 13th (eek) anniversary, and I would like to surprise my husband with the tour as it’s something he has wanted to do on past cruises but never has, and what better ship to see behind the scenes then the Carnival Magic?! Thank you for your time!
Happy Cruising,
Julie
John says:
Hello Julie Hussey,Thanks so very much for the kind words about the blog and I am glad you are enjoying it. I am afraid we don’t have pre-cruise sign up for the brilliant Behind the Fun tour but please don’t worry. May I suggest that as soon as you board the ship, sneak away from your husband to the deck 3 lobby shore excursion desk and speak to the shore excursion manager? The tour will be sold out by mid-cruise but buying on embarkation day virtually assures you of a place. I hope you decide to go as it really is a super look behind the crew only door. Please let me know if there is anything else you need.
Best wishes to you both.
John
Steve Krafthefer asked:
Hi John,First, I have to say I don’t read your blog very often (for no apparent reason), but my wife is absolutely ADDICTED to it. She loves following you (not literally anyway, that’s hard to do from Portland). Anyway, our 14th Carnival cruise will be in December. We’ve had a different cruise director on each one trip except Cory Schmidt happened to be the CD on two of them. We really enjoyed his work and wondered if he’s still a CD with you and if so, what ship is he on these days? Thank you for all your work! The entertainment is one of the big reasons we keep coming back!
John says:
Hello Steve Krafthefer,I am sitting here, in my underpants, trying to pronounce your name…….not Steve……..I mean your surname. Anyway, I am glad you enjoy the blog now and then and thanks for asking about my old friend Corey. His performing bird show was fantastic and he was indeed a great CD. Corey left some years ago and is currently a movie location manager having recently worked on an Adam Sandler movie. I hope we get to sail together very soon and please thank your wife for all her support.
Best wishes.
John
Diane W asked:
I have been thinking hard about what cruise to take for our 2012 winter vacation. The choices were Carnival or NCL. I have been asking lots of questions on a website that won’t be named and have listened to cruise experts and NCL fans Tom and Cheryl and they painted a wonderful picture about NCL and they and others were really pushing us to book NCL and not Carnival. It was though the price that made us come to Carnival, our first time doing so after five cruises with Royal Caribbean and two with Celebrity. We will be cruising on the Carnival Breeze from Miami and I would ask that you assure me that we have made the right choice. We booked a suite (cabin number _____). Can you tell me something about the suite we have booked? Thank you.
John says:
Hello Diane W,There is no doubt that NCL have really turned things around and kudos to their senior managers for doing so as they were in a deep financial hole a few years ago. I am though extremely happy that you have decided to book our Carnival Breeze and I see from your booking number that you have booked a beautiful deck 7 suite. I will be heading to the shipyard soon and will be posting photos of all the cabin classes as this ship will have brand new interior designers and the Carnival Breeze will look completely different to any other Carnival ship with regard to the cabin colours and furniture. So did you do the right thing? Well, obviously I am going to say yes of course you did, but I will also say that I promise that I will do all I can to make sure that you have a brilliant time and will be telling much more about the ship you have chosen to sail on both here on my blog and on my Facebook page. Please let me know if you have any questions and thank you for choosing Carnival.
Best wishes.
John
Mark Millere asked:
Good Morning John,I just wanted to let you know that our B2B cruises on the Carnival Freedom were fantastic.
Our sixth cruise, 10-16-11, all with Carnival (fifth cruise review was posted on Facebook 10-29)
We were able to get the same room and same table for the second half, WOW that is nice to be able to do. Our room steward Isaac, (cabin 6287) again was the best of our 6 cruises so far. Very friendly, always smiling and took care of everything ASAP. Again, he picked up our breakfast room service order during turndown. Our dining staff waiter (Posh dining room, table 345, late seating) – Carla from the Philippines (Nop went on vacation) Asst – Alexis from Panama & asst – Indra from Indonesia. Again, all were outstanding — fast and friendly. New waiter, same asst’s, they worked great together. Carla called me Mr. Mark or Mr. P
since Milissa introduced me as a “pain.” They always called us by name as did other members of the staff we interacted with regularly. Thank you to Jacques De Lange and Carnival for the champagne and fruit basket gift for doing a B2B. Due to TS Bastard, our itinerary changed. Originally it was Key West, Grand Cayman & Ocho Rios which turned into Key West, Montego Bay, Key West. We actually anchored in Grand Cayman, but after three hours of trying to tender, the seas were too rough, so we booked it hitting 22 knots to get to Key West.
The not so good — We had to go thru immigration before going ashore in Key West the second time. Long lines of course and it took awhile since they did it in the Victoriana Lounge. No big deal, but as you can imagine, some were not happy. We were just happy getting a 3rd stop instead of just missing it.
The good – It was absolutely perfect in Key West the second time, this made up for It raining all day the first time in Key West, When we got back to Fort Lauderdale – no immigration, just customs, debarkation was smoother and quicker. Thank you again for the gifts and another great cruise. Best wishes for you and your family.
John says:
Hello Mark Millere,Let’s start with the not so good. Apologies for having to go through the immigration process twice but that’s really out of our control as that is determined by the U.S. government. I know through Jacques the CD that some guests really lost their tempers with ship staff even though they were following orders. Debarkation was quicker in Fort Lauderdale which is a good thing. However, let’s concentrate on the good and there is lots of that Mark and I thank you for taking the time to write it. I will make sure that the ship sees this and they will be thrilled. Carnival Freedom continues to hover around the number one spot in the fleet and you have proven just why that is.
Thanks so very much and I hope we see you again on board soon.
Best wishes to all.
John
Sharon Novoa asked:
John,Why is it that you feel the need to use bad language and sexual innuendos here? I feel that you would get far more readership if you refrained from doing so. I love Carnival but have to force myself to come to this page to get information because I know that the things you write will upset me. We just returned back from cruise number four this time on the Carnival Elation and had a wonderful time. We did not receive a comment card so would like to express my admiration for our waiter Carl from Jamaica who was so entertaining and our cabin boy Igor from Croatia who was the best we have had so far.
These crew need to be recognized. John, please try and remember what I said. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”
Thank you,
Sharon Novoa
John says:
Hello Sharon Novoa,Thanks for mentioning those crew members that really made a difference to your cruise and I will gladly make sure the right people get to see your comments. I know that my humour is not for everyone and I apologise if anything I have said or will say offends you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.
Best wishes.
John
Lea J asked:
I just wanted to take a moment to thank you very much for the champagne and ship on a stick you had sent to our cabin. We loved it!! Sad to say, we just got off the Carnival Pride today (Oct 23 sailing). We had such a wonderful time! The weather was unbelievably warm and as always the food and service was top notch. I am really bad with names, but I would like to mention four people who stood out for us. Trevor was our CD and we really enjoyed him. He was funny and informative without sounding loud and intrusive. He came across as someone who genuinely enjoys his job. Second was our room steward, Greg. That’s not his whole name, but it’s what we called him (cabin #5228). Very pleasant young man! He did an exceptional job with our room, which was a bit of a challenge with three adults and all of our stuff everywhere. Third was the maitre’ d Manuel (think that was it). He was very pleasant and in six cruises was the very first maitre’ d to stop by our table to welcome us and talk with us. Not normally something we really gave much thought to, but it was very pleasant. Last, but certainly not least, was one of the YTD head waiters, Rey. He was the first waiter ever to great us by name and welcomed us. He also recited the evening’s menu, and made recommendations to us. He was obviously very busy, but took the time to stop by several times to check on us and chat a few minutes. We wished we had come across him at the beginning of the cruise because we would have requested him every night. Rey is a wonderful asset to Carnival! We took my sister-in-law with us on this cruise. Her last cruise was on one of Carnival’s first ships many years ago. She is now asking if she can come with us on another one. Carnival has successfully hooked another one!!
Thank you again, John!
John says:
Hello Lea J,Thanks so much for another great review. I know Baltimore is very proud to have the Carnival Pride home port there and we are very proud to be there and it seems the crew is doing a wonderful job. I know that not everybody gets comment cards so I am always pleased when guests take the time to post reviews here and I have the chance to forward them to the people mentioned and their supervisors. I am so glad your sister in law had fun and I sincerely hope we will see you all again very soon.
Best wishes to you all.
John
Anthony Pozzo asked:
Question – who in your opinion is the best cruise director in the business? I ask this because my wife and I were just on another cruise line and the cruise director there was simply dreadful yet his reputation based on the reviews I read was that he was the best in the cruise ship industry. His name is_________ and he works for _______. He was not funny and we never saw him and when we did he acted like he couldn’t be bothered to speak to us and had no stage presence at all. One of the people we were traveling with is in the entertainment business and agreed that he was terrible. One other question, when will NY get a new ship as we don’t want Carnival Miracle – we want a new ship. This is New York, we never accept second best!!!
Cheerio mate.
John says:
Hello Anthony Pozzo,Let’s start with your second question about the Carnival Miracle. She is hardly an old ship and I know many New Yorkers were very excited to have her there year-round. I promise if you take a cruise on her you will have a brilliant time. As you can see I deleted the name of the CD you mentioned as he doesn’t work for Carnival and because I don’t know him or his work so I didn’t feel it was right to post his name. So who is my favourite CD? Well the answer is every one of the Carnival CDs, they are the best in the business. I also have to say that I personally find Graham Seymor and Richard Spacey of RCI very, very funny and I am sure each cruise line has a star CD who I haven’t seen. The best CD Carnival has ever had…..well that’s easy. His name is Gary Hunter who now works for Crystal Cruises. Nobody will ever be as good as he was and probably still is.
Thanks for the question.
Best wishes.
John
Nick Mateusz asked:
There has been so much hype made about Guy’s burgers yet Cahill the Cutter continues to try and hide behind a slab of meat as he takes more and more away from the product and while you continue to cheerlead thousands of your passengers are leaving for other cruise lines or all inclusive resorts.
John says:
Hello Nick Mateusz,I have a question for you Nick, mate. How do you know “thousands of your passengers are leaving for other cruise lines or all inclusive resorts?” Of course you don’t because Carnival carried more than 4 million passengers last year – the most in cruising and the most in our company’s history. Have you ever tried a Guy’s burger? My guess is no you haven’t. I considered not posting this and adding you to my new troll file as I discussed at the start of the blog but I didn’t. That’s because your question gives me the chance to say that bookings for 2012 are massively strong and that more and more people are coming to Carnival because quite simply the value for money and the fun they have for the price is unbeatable. Oh and the burgers are bloody marvelous, as well.
Best wishes.
John
Ellie Watson asked:
Booking for Carnival Splendor******
Hi John,
please can you arrange a table for four pretty please with sugar on the top for me, my husband and our two adopted children. Both have special needs and are a bit of a handful and we don’t want to disturb other passengers while they are trying to eat. We board the Carnival Splendor on 2/26/12 and I know that’s next year but I wanted to give you plenty of time to help us if you can. Thank you so much.
John says:
Hello Ellie Watson,It would be a pleasure and I am going to ask you for a favour in return. As we are sometime away and because I don’t want the ship to forget please can you post this again on February 15. Please mark it “Urgent, Time Sensitive” and the beards will make sure I see it. You should be applauded for taking two children into your home and I am sure you are giving them a wonderful life and I will do all I can to make their cruise a brilliant one.
Best wishes to you all.
John
Mason asked:
Hi John,I’m writing this question to you all the way from Australia. First of all, I would like to say how much I love reading your blog and watching your videos. I have been on five cruises in my life, three with P&O UK and two with P&O Australia. As you are aware, both of these companies are owned by Carnival Corp. A couple of weeks ago, I booked our first cruise on an actual Carnival Cruise Lines ship – Carnival Spirit and my partner and I are both very excited. We’re doing the cruise from Hawaii to Sydney in September/October next year. My question is in reference to past passenger numbers. I know with P&O Australia, any cruises you’ve done on P&O UK and Princess Cruises count toward your total “sea days” and are counted under your Unique Reference Number (the equivalent to the Past Passenger Number). I was just wondering whether Carnival Cruise Lines counts the cruises I’ve already done (on other Carnival companies) under my Past Passenger Number (I hope I’ve explained that correctly)? Thanks again for the great blog!
John says:
Hello Mason,I see you have booked a Carnival cruise on the beautiful Carnival Spirit and we are very excited that we are heading down under and it seems from just how many of your fellow Australians are booking the ship that they are excited as well. Unfortunately those great cruises you took on P&O Australia won’t count on Carnival’s loyalty program I am afraid. The two programs are vastly different and interchanging them is not possible. I know that is not the news you wanted to hear and I apologise for that. However I do promise that the Carnival Spirit will bring a whole new level of fun to Australia and I hope to come down and experience it myself one day. Have a bonza time mate.
Best wishes.
John
K Hagan asked
On previous cruises with Carnival we have always been allowed to partake in self assist debarkation. We booked our return flight on our Oct 23 cruise on the Carnival Legend assuming we would be allowed to participate in self assist. The night before we received instruction via debarkation info that only US Citizens could participate in self disembarkation. I spoke with Tatyana at guest services and she advised me to get permission from the immigration officer and that would allow us to disembark once the ship had cleared. However when I explained to the officer he said it was not the immigration services rule and as far as he was concerned we could debark following clearance of the ship and take off our own luggage (two small carry-ons). I overheard a member of the staff saying to a passenger that he could not participate in self disembarkation despite the man’s wife being a US citizen and he stated it is for “National Security.” We made our way to the gangway as Tatyana told us to do so as she was helping with immigration clearance. When we arrived at the line we were told very rudely we would have to wait until all U S citizens debarked and it was a national security law!! I explained that we had permission from Tatyana and she came down to the line and allowed us to disembark. Needless to say had we known about this rule we would have booked a later flight and I am now concerned if we book another Carnival cruise will we be subject to this same situation. Why are only US citizens given the opportunity to use self assist? Does it depend on the port? How can I check which ships do this? Apart from the upset this caused for my family and I we enjoyed our cruise.
Cheers.
Kathy H
John says:
Hello Kathy Hagan,It seems that there was some confusion here and I am not sure what ship you were sailing on but I will try and explain. Self assist is normally available for all guests, regardless of where they are from. Certainly on the ships I have been on recently it was not a problem. However, U.S. Customs & Border Protection will occasionally alter these plans from time to time, without prior warning and I think that’s what’s happened here. I remember a similar incident when I was CD of the Carnival Freedom in Port Everglades. I had announced the previous day that self assist was available to everyone and yet that morning I was told just moments before we started the debarkation process that USCBP would not allow anyone but US citizens this privilege. I will investigate this for you and sincerely apologise that this happened but I will also say that this was probably how it went down and although we could have communicated this better with you ultimately it is the choice of USCBP and we have to adhere to what they say at all times. I do hope you had a wonderful cruise.
Best wishes.
John
That’s all for today. Thanks for all your comments and questions this week.
I do want to mention something I have already posted here on Facebook earlier today. I had hinted that we would have an exciting announcement today and of course now we don’t because the beards are making a few changes. Now please, please don’t blame them. It’s my fault, 100% my fault. Now I know I am going to get a massive bollocking on other websites from people with screen names like UgoSeaIdidanumber2, Halitosis and Camelstowe and you know what, they have every right to do so. I mentioned in the blog on Monday that I won’t mention dates unless it’s 100% certain or not mention dates at all and just tell you as soon as I have it confirmed and I apologise to everyone who is disappointed that there is no news today. I so wanted to tell you about this new alas, my excitement was premature as although the news remains absolutely brilliant, it’s not ready for release just yet. So please, blame me and I apologise to those who I have let down.
Here as promised is the current piano bar schedule and the sign off dates of our brilliant performers:
Carnival Spirit Keith Turner 01/06/12
Carnival Miracle Peter Brenner 01/13/12
Carnival Freedom Marty Gast 01/14/12
Carnival Splendor Jim Morris 01/15/12
Carnival Legend Pollyanna Jones 01/15/12
Carnival Victory Jerry Selix 01/22/12
Carnival Sensation Barry Miller 01/26/12
Carnival Valor Doug Ross 02/18/12
Carnival Destiny Robert Crucilla 02/20/12
Carnival Triumph Lorraine Ingle 02/23/12
Carnival Liberty Robert Berhalter 02/25/12
Carnival Glory Tom Riccio 02/26/12
Carnival Dream David Filsinger 03/03/12
Carnival Conquest Larry Maconaghy 03/04/12
Carnival Ecstasy Frank Glenn 03/22/12
Carnival Fascination Milburn Dumas 03/31/12
Carnival Imagination Dana Honey 04/02/12
Carnival Fantasy Jordan Heppner 05/04/12
Carnival Elation Tom Grable 05/05/12
Carnival Magic Jerone Howard 06/03/12
Carnival Inspiration Seth Gibson 06/04/12
Carnival Paradise Del Woodman 06/11/12
Carnival Pride Roger Concepcion 06/27/12
As always I thank all of the above for their entertainment and a special thank you to Laura AKA Divetrash for looking after them and representing them when need be. The piano bar is very much in focus with the beards as you will see soon and continues to be one of our most important venues.
I want to answer something that keeps cropping up here and on Facebook as it appears that someone has started a rumour that we are selling the Carnival Fantasy and leaving Charleston. This is simply not true. We love Charleston and the Carnival Fantasy is a huge hit as bookings are excellent as are the reviews. She will always be a special ship for me as well.
You know, I will never forget the first time I saw her. I was driving with the CD I mentioned in today’s Q and A Gary Hunter, from his house in Gainesville. I remember feeling sick the whole journey because the night before we had eaten something called chitterlings for dinner.
Gary’s Mum had cooked it and I thought it tasted like a rat’s anus. However, being a polite 24-year-old from good stock, I smiled and cleared my plate. And afterwards oh how they all laughed when they told me that I had eaten a pig bollocks.
Anyway, we were heading to the ship. Back then the CD and staff did not join the vessel in Italy as we do now. That’s because back then the ship would remain pierside in Miami for two weeks or so giving us time to prepare everything. As we came of the I-95 exit to the port we saw the huge smokestack and I remember we both gave a big “wow” as we saw the ship that would start what was arguably the most successful class of cruise ships in the world. I had two very happy years there as social host and then eventually cruise director.
I first conceived my bedtime story on the Carnival Fantasy. I first performed my marriage show on the Carnival Fantasy. I had my first proper shipboard romance on the Carnival Fantasy only to discover the orchestra drummer wasn’t only banging his drums but my girlfriend, as well. That aside, I love the ship and so do many of you and she is going nowhere.
It looks like I’ve upset a couple of folks with my comments about care homes in yesterday’s blog. I certainly meant no offence – and bear in mind that it was all in jest talking about Carnival’s ships being used for retirement. I have a great deal of respect for those who care for the elderly and I know if Kye puts me in a home I hope it’s a place where the staff respect that I am still a functioning being with a sense of humour and where my evening cup of cocoa is served by a Latvian nurse……… in a thong.
I understand that everybody dreads ending their days in a care home wearing someone else’s false teeth and in my blog yesterday I was jokingly trying to suggest that one of our ships could be an alternative. Who wouldn’t swap a day of waiting for Judge Judy to come on the TV for a care home cruise ship where the views are one of the sea and beautiful ports of call and where you can mix your medication with a Fun Ship Special? It would save your grown up kids having to feel forced into visiting you once a week to hear you answer that, yes, it was chicken again for lunch and, no, you don’t want any more Werther’s Originals.
Me, well personally I would rather bugger off to see Saint Peter on a “Fun Ship” cruise than be in a care home wearing a stranger’s underpants. On that note it’s time to say goodnight.
Goodnight.
Your friend
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
John – In reference to the nursing home comments – SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN’T TAKE A JOKE. I hope I never lose my since of humor. And that one day when my kids put me in a home it is on a ship. Thanks for all you do.
Amen Susan!!! My daughter has teased me that she will make sure to put me in the best nursing home money can buy …. to heck with that – I’ll be HAPPY to call Carnival home for my retirement years!
Thank you for all you do, John, and all you put up with. My husband and I will be sailing on the Liberty in April and we can’t wait because the know the ship and the service will be excellent. I have sailed with Carnival four times and he has sailed with Carnival twice, and we have never been disappointed with any aspect of our cruise. While you have to read these rude comments and ridiculous reviews, keep in mind that not everyone feels like that. The information and the smiles you give us are priceless!
John,
A couple of years ago my wife and I had the consent of PO to board the vessel “Pacific Sun” that was docked in Auckland New Zealand. As this was the ship that my wife & I flew to Sweden in 1986 to sail back to the USA, it was then called the “Jubilee”. It was sad to see the condition of this fine ship as you know it holds alot of memories.
I spoke to some passengers about their Cruise only to find out that the standards of the Ship(s) & the Entertainment being offered in the South Pacific is very poor compared to what is offered around the Carribean etc.
Plus the Cost of the cruise is appalling again compared to the USA.
We Kiwi’s & the Aussie’s (identified with shackle markings on ankels) love to travel & party, but we also value bang for buck.
I would love to discuss more on opportunities that is being missed out on in NZ & Aust.
Any Plans for NEWER ships to come south? With proper entertainment & better prices.
Mike (aka Kiwi)
Dear Mike,
Newer dosen’t always mean better. I cried when I heard that the “Spirit” was going down under as it is my families favorite in the Fleet. You won’t critisize the Sydney Opera House just because it’s construction wasn’t just completed. It like the “Spirit” are classics and the Standard that the rest of the Fleet has to measure up to. Enjoy her as much as we will miss her. Fred
John… A couple of comments and thoughts. In yesterday’s blog, you had a letter from a cruiser who had experienced the same superior service and friendliness that I wrote you about from our Carnival Paradise repositioning cruise. There have actually been many posts recently on your blog, on FB, and even on that other site where guests have pointed out the “glad you’re here”, “glad we’re here”, “eye-contact” customer service from every level fleetwide. As I mentioned in my letter last month, this starts with the officers and flows down to every level and it’s not just employee-customer but also employee-employee. It is very clear that the customer-friendly-focused training is working and being noticed by the customers.
OK, today you mentioned another troll letter from a “Parrothead” screen name. Whoever this troll is, they are no Parrothead, and I’d personally pluck their feathers, make soup from their fins, or short circuit their blender if I could (sorry for all the Buffett song bits of humour). (Jimmy) Buffett fans are some of the most fun-loving, craziest, and cruise-loving fans out their and this person is none of these.
As far as being on a Carnival ship instead of in “a home” — we’re ready and have even started to think about how to put those instructions into effect to our children. Let’s see, maybe a program to pre-pay for cruise-retirement years before its needed (a little like college pre-pay). Beards – you reading this?
Bill
Bill, I said the same thing on Facebook. A true parrothead would never behave that way. I would help you with the feather plucking and pedal the bike to power the blender. PHINS UP
Dear Mason,
I hope you enjoy your cruise on the CCL Spirit as much as we did on our first ever cruise. She is still a favorite with the wife and I but now I have to do the sixteen hours of flying instead of you to go on her.
Sailing from Hawaii to Sydney WOW oh WOW am I jealous.
The Cruzin2some
Ah, the Spirit. After 11 Carnival cruises and2 on “others”., the Spirit is still my favorite. We have sailed on her to Acapulco, Manzanio, and Ixtapa. Then on her from Ensenada to Hawaii and throughout the islands there. She is a grand ship and I love her. And Stu Dunn is the absolute best as CD.
John:
So you know I am not a troll, I’m the guy who brought you sugar-free jelly beans to the Magic last June (much to your wife’s dismay).
We are aboard the Carnival Dream heading back to Port Canaveral from our last stop in St. Maarten yesterday. Alas, another day at sea then back to life without Chocolate Melting Cake and towel animals.
I have noticed you seem to be tightening up a bit on the perks you offer Platinum cruisers (from unlimited laundry to one bag, for example). While I understand business as well as the next guy, I’m wondering if reducing the incentives offered to your market sweet spot is the smartest thing to do.
Having been parked next to that monster Oasis of the Seas multiple times now, we are going to sail her to see what it’s like. Daunting I imagine. But nevertheless, we are questioning our solid commitment to Carnival if that commitment is not returned. Do you see our point? I would think doing more rather than less might make more business sense. It’s considerably cheaper to keep a customer, particularly a good one, than get one to replace a lost one.
Just some thinking as we’re waiting for “Kung Fu Panda II” to come on the jumbotron on Lido.
Cheers!
(Dr.) John Gwin
Dear John, I greatly appreciate Carnival providing a representative (YOU) to answer questions, provide info, etc.- it is unequally! Overall, you do a good job with humor and deal very well with concerns. I am still disappointed that there are some subjects, like home care where I expect someone in your position to be more sensitive, thoughtful, and yes politically correct. This is not just a everyone likes your humor (although poop references do get old) issue. I hope you put the shoe on the other foot and think about comments cruisers make about Carnival and how some deal with them well and others don’t. You get paid to make your comments and represent Carnival and do it well overall.
Sorry, the word unequally should have been unequalled.
I dont get this, I have worked with the elderly and EMI patients, though I dont anymore, from what I remember, most had a sense of humor and would not be offended by the slightest issue.
My fiance had a father who lost both his arms and legs, his only complaint was that he couldnt stick his fingers up at someone he didnt like.
For some reason, people strive on being bitter, its pathetic that you cant take the odd joke, oh and as for being PC, people who wish for that are the people who have killed a few great nations !!!!!
My retirement plans are a Carnival Ship for sure….. no Worries John, ignore the trashy trolls the rest of us love you!
Great blog, as usual! Forget about the trolls. They’re everywhere and in every situation. It would be awfully boring without someone to laugh at! My first cruise was on the Fantasy. I, like you, will never forget stepping off the ramp into the atrium, the most beautiful spectacle I had ever seen. She will always be that special ship! Keep up the great work! We love you, John…..and Carnival!
John: What a great idea. I am an almost 72 year old woman who suffers from vertigo on land. I never suffer whilst on a ship. I had this discussion with my husband just hours before reading your last post. Where do I sign up? My kids would be most happy to visit me on any Carnival ship.
Marie
Funny you brought up trolls etc this week. I was reading some reviews on CC last night and word for word one was there for the complaint you had about the room steward “sneaking” in the closets counting hangers. The only difference was that the version submitted to you threw in “lesbian”. Literally word-for-word…these people need hobbies.
Definitely a Troll. I remember thinking when I read the word ‘Lesbian’, what importance is that to the subject? I didn’t start this reply by saying I am straight. Why did they have to say they were a Lesbian? Maybe just looking for reactions’
I enjoy reading your blog! I agree that there are many “trolls” out there but not everyone who makes negative comments are trolls! The “Cheerleaders” bash those that make any kind of negative comment whether it is Carnival, RCL, HAL, etc. Sometimes the negatives need to be heard because they are from folks that love Carnival and would like to see it remain the Cruise Line they fell in love with and have sailed with over the years. They make the negative comments in hopes to want to continue to sail Carnival and their voices will be heard on your blog, Comment Emails or emails to Guest Services!!! The improvements with the 2.0, etc. is a great thing but some of the cutbacks (and there have been quite a few over the last five years)are what loyal cruisers are complaining about. Where some are trolls or trouble makers some are genuine in their complaints in wanting Carnival to remain their Cruise Line of choice!
P.S. Diane W.: You made the right choice in choosing Carnival!!! I wouldn’t sail NCL again if it was free!!!
Eileen, thanks!
I am appalled that some creep is making comments about your daughter. How horrid. People who insult children are lower than Breeze’s poop.
John, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT take the Miracle out of NY!!!! We LOVE that ship! She is the first Carnival ship we sailed on and made us fall in LOVE with Carnival. This July will be our 4th year in a row in the same aft-wrap cabin. We LOVE the crew and everything about the ship. We do NOT need a “new” ship! As to the trolls, just ignore anything with CC anywhere in the message! Thank you for all you do!
John :
My first cruise you were the director I feel in love with carnival because of you your humor and careing personality,as I look forward to my 9th in 21 days I thank you for all you do your simply the BEST
with much thanks, Cheria
I’m a troll folderol, I’m a troll – altogether now!:)
John, I smile at you comments about The Fantasy…. that is my ABSOLUTE favorite ship…. as a matter of fact we have sailed on this beautiful ship 5 times and in the same cabin E124. A perfect special cabin… not to mention that this cabin has a nice pole in the cabin — it would make it easier for pole dancing if the pole were round instead of square (ha ha ha) The Fantasy and the Fantasy Class ships are my favorite. You and I have already shared comments about my upcoimg cruise on Jan 19 – The ELATION – again in cabin E124 – I will be in touch. John, PLEASE keep up the good work – and overlook those that intentionally try to cause problems. Keep focused on the good work that you do for ALL of us.
THANKS! Glenn (REAL NAME)
I didn’t see my favorite piano bar performer Michael Smith on your list.. harrumph.. which ship will be be playing on?? thanks!
Ellie Watson, I am not going to be on the same cruise you and your family are going on. However I have to say that if I was on the same cruise, sitting at the same table as you and your family would not bother me. I would consider it an honor to be allowed to join in on the fun I am sure you and your husband have rearing these two special children for just a brief time. You are both heroes. Semper Fi.
‘Ello John,
My husband introduced me to your blog because he thought I would appreciate your humor – I’m also from England – Yorkshire to be exact and you know what kind of humor we have there….
We sail on the Valor in 3 days and it will be our 5th cruise with Carnival – woo-hooooo! Our 6th cruise will be in December this year as we’ve decided that if it’s going to be the end of the world (LOL) then we’d rather be on the Breeze all buggered up on Funship Specials!!
Thanks for your great blog, John (my husband was right about you) and all the best to you and your family (and the beards – very funny, that term, I plan on using it myself)
Hi John,
I’ve been reading your blog since April ’07 when you were on the Freedom in Italy. It is FANTASTIC, and what you do for people is great. Please don’t let the “trolls” and grumpy people get to you. I’ll be sailing on the Carnival Spirit on her repositioning cruise to Vancouver in April. My booking number is #989pq4. My question for you is, will they be offering the Behind the Fun Tour on this short, 3 day cruise? This will be my 9th Carnival cruise, and I’ve ALWAYS wanted to see the behind the scenes areas. Thanks so much for everything you do! : )
Geoff
Oh, I forgot, my sail date is 4/28/2012. I also have booked the Carnival Insparation for January 2013! I LOVE CARNIVAL! My first cruise was on 3/31/91 on the M.S. Jubilee when I was 11. Thanks John!
Geoff
John,
If I am ever in the position of having to be placed in a “home”, I hope I will be able to live out my remaining days on this earth on a Carnival ship instead! Heaven on Earth before I depart and go to Heaven in the Afterlife! Yep, that sounds good to me!!!
Sharron stop your moaning, go back and do what most ‘Christians’ should do but never usually do.
They learn one or two verses from the bible and through them around, without ever looking for the other verses.
Firstly, all four gospels tell you not to be offended in anything, secondly, Paul writes only to practicing Christians and last but not by any means least, there is no point stating that John would have more readers, as he has 13 million, a number that vastly outweighs a lot of sites.
Stop your moaning and get on with life, this is what a true Christian would do, and yes I am one of those, just not one who wishes to ridicule others when I have so many faults of my own to deal with.
Oh David, thank you! What a breath of fresh air! Jodi:)
John, love the blog thingy and FB thingy…. but may I read between the tea leaves…. lol you said that Carnival is not selling the Fantasy and not leaving Charleston (YEAH) But could this mean that the Fantasy could be relocated for new salings and a Newer larger ship come to Charleston????? Either way I will sail whatever ship Carnival has in Charleston… I’m addicted not only to cruising but to Carnival.
In today’s cyberspace world, the delete button definitely comes in handy. Unfortunately the deranged people who love nothing more to cause havoc will continue because their lives are boring. Thick skin is good and when people make nasty comments about someone else it usually means they are jealous of you and your life. I always say that is why God gives us shoulders to brush it off. It’s not worth wasting our time and energy on the attention grabbers.
Hi John, just finished your daily blog and found it entertaining as always. My husband and I will be taking our 7th and 8th cruise this year on Carnival. Not to have you think that we are jumping ship (so to say), we are taking one in March on RCL, the Allure of the Sea. We booked the ship, not the ports this time because we just had to see the inside of that ship. So that makes a total of 9 curises, all of which will have happened in a 3 year time span. You see, once we took our 1st in Nov. 2009, we became addicts, as some of our friends refer to us. That being said, the one we take on June 15, 2012, the brand new Carnival Breeze out of Barcelona, Spain is without a doubt, our most adventerous one yet. We are so excited to be doing this at our ages (63), wishing only that we had found cruising earlier in our lifetime. This trip for us will be a trip of a lifetime, so when deciding to book it, we combined it as a gift to ourselves for our birthdays, Christmas, Anniversary, Valentine’s Day and any other day we would exchange a gift with each other and made this the gift… I guess you could say we went giftless this whole year so we could go on this cruise of a lifetime. What I would like to ask of you is, I hope, pretty simple. If at all possible we would like a dining table on the lower level, right in the center where all the fun and action takes place. We have been upstairs a couple of times and always have to look over to see what’s doing on during the entertainment. That’s all well and good, and sometimes we have been on the lower level but not always where we could see close and upfront if you get my meaning. So would it be possible to get your help this time and get something where we could take in all the fun that goes on in the dining room during dinner. I’m so excited that you are going to be our CD this time, we missed you on the Splendor after the fire, but Filepe did a great job. I hope we get to meet you finally and enjoy your humor in a personal setting. We are really looking forward to this cruise John, thanks for any help you can give up with our dining accomodations. Our booking number is 234KLO and we booked a cove balcony, room number 2302. I know this is an early request, I’m just not one of those people who wait till the last minute and rush you and expect you to deliver. Thanks for so much fun on the blog, see you in June.
Carolyn Kethcart
I don’t think any of us want to be placed in a nursing care facility, but why can’t we laugh at ourselves and things that may be? Beats the heck out of crying over it! Lighten up people! And think of it this way, you are well cared for on a ship, 3 great meals (and more) each day, lots of entertainment, getting to see great ports of call, platinum guests get their laundry done free, etc…AND it’s cheaper than most nursing homes. Give me a cruise ship for my retirement home– that works!!!!
Funny thing is on the blog or on FB my real name is present. On the not to be named site it is my nickname. I wonder if they think I am a troll there?
I visit the other site as a seasoned cruiser, to offer advice where I can because many have done the same for me. I skip the forums with rants and don’t get involved with the bickering and open those with legitimate questions. I also open reviews to view the wondeful photos others have posted to relive the ships and ports I have been to while witing for my next cruise.
John, I am not offended when you complain about some of the things posted on the not to be named site. I have seen both the good and the bad and just keep it all in perspective, but unlike you, have no need to defend myself or my brand.
My husband and I are looking forward to our next cruise on the Liberty on Jan. 28th and will be back once again to share our experiences. I do hope it isn’t true that they are limiting the laundry as John Gwin posted. It was not limited on our Legend cruise in September of 2011. We will be flying first class from AZ this time so baggage fees will not be an issue they normaly would so I will pack accordingly. It will be nice to report after my cruise that the overpacking was not necessary.
Keep up the great work John on your blog and FB. Lots of best wishes to you, Heidi, Kye, and yes, Breeze too! And God bless your parents for raising a man with such a wonderful sense of humor.
Greetings from Indonesia
John,
I was saddened to see your dislike for trolls. I come from a long line of trolls and aside from a drunken villager who happened to fall off the bridge we have hardly ever bothered anyone. There were times when the village mobs would gather and try to get us to leave town, but there were never harsh words spoken.
Ohhh! you mean electronic trolls. Well never mind.
Good one! That’s the best reply in an otherwise boring read!
JoyceG
If it is so boring, what the hell are you doing here? Get the hell out! troll!
John, I reread the stuff about the care homes and no way do you need to apologize. I had to leave my family on Christmas Day to fly to Florida to put my father into long term care after a stroke and heart surgery. Unfortunately, there is no other option. My Mom and brother are gone and I cannot care for him in my home. He has dementia and needs watching 24/7. It is what it is and jokes about it don’t offend – they just help people get through a difficult situation. I was worried about having to miss our Jan 22 cruise on the Magic but the doctors and nurses told me to go – staying home will do nothing for my Dad. They told me to take care of myself so that I can take care of my family.
John,
My husband and I have seriously thought about selling all of our belongings except for our clothes and giving personal momentos to the kids and starting at age 62 cruising every week until we get tired of it. We think that it would be a good way to spend our retirement and much cheaper than an assisted living and a nursing home. I would no longer have to clean a house and cook dinner or wash dishes. Maybe that was what was going on the Magic TA. I am so looking forward to the BC5 and to finally meet you and your family. Best wishes to Kye, Heidi and you of course.
Marqueta
YES DEBBIE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST. THAT IS WHAT I WAS TOLD BY A DOCTOR WHEN MY MOM WAS IN A HOME.
OMG John, like I said, my DREAM would be a in a retirement home on Carnival Paradise! I can’t believe people have NO sense of humour. Life is just too short! And too short to worry about correcting everyone else too Sharon. I don’t understand why if you come here to read the blog for information and the entertainment aspect doesn’t appeal to you, why complain? It serves no purpose, and it isn’t going to change anything, or at least I hope NOT. This is John’s blog and it is his sense of humour, and there are MANY of us enjoy it and look forward to every posting! John you are truly non-biased and open minded to post these comments and obviously a better person than I. It is good to hear that you are trying not to give the trolls the attention the crave, it is just too bad that there is a need for this. Thanks for the blog as always, your friend, Jodi:)
Dear John,
I am writing you from my cabin on the Carnival Pride. It is our last Fun Day at Sea and tomorrow we return to the real world of 7 degree temps and inches of snow. I wanted to thank you for thinking of us on our trip. My daughter was thrilled with a Ship on a Stick and the chocolate covered strawberries were an even bigger hit with her. Your thoughtfulness was very much appreciated.
Thank You very much,
Jamie Dailey
once again john u make my day! i truly suprised your wrists don’t self destruct from overuse! good job and look forward to your next blog………..hope carnival realizes how lucky they are, having u
only 8mos to breeze! in booking for august does it matter what part of the ship for dining room reservations?
Kathy Hagan, I’m not sure what happened on your ship and why only american citizens were allowed to self assist. I’m a European, living in Europe, flying to States only when I want to cruise with Carnival. Each time I choose self assist; I’m in early 30-ties and I can handle myself and I never have a problem! Yes, I was getting special tag for stewards to take my luggage off the ship, but I’ve never used it. I’ve never had any problems with Carnival not allowing me to get off the ship carrying my own bags.
John, I believe you when you talk about trolls. I will tell you my story. We sailed with you in 2008 and my kids thought you were just the best. We all follow your blog.
We are on Liberty feb 18, 2012 and during the cruise it will be my Birthday. My wonderful son wrote you sometime ago with out my knowledge asking if you could send me a note. Thats all he asked for. You said to remind you closer to the cruise. Well he did on facebook and was just slaughtered by more than one “troll”. It broke his heart as he was not asking for anything for free. He wrote something beautiful about me and that is gift enough. As for the trolls all I can say is Karma people Karma. Thanks for listening.
Whatever, POOPYPANTZ. Are you for real?
Yes, I am for real. Go to Johns facebook page and see the message from my son, I think it was mid-december. I was merely pointing out that there are people on this blog and facebook that have nothing better to do than to comment on something in a negative way when in fact if they had actually read the message would have understood he was not asking for free stuff like so many others do but rather just a note from John. But they attacked him for asking for free stuff and grouped him with people that ask for flowers and decorations and even jewelry. Making him feel like he was some sort of free loader which I assure you we are not. He was merely trying to do something nice for me since as he said I have cruised wth John and met him and have many times talked to people about how friendly he was and that he was the best cruise director we have had to date. It is unfortunate that I have to explain this but I am glad I took the time to do so.
Point taken. I apologize.
Hi, I just wanted to say how much I love cruising Carnival! My family and I (my husband and 3 children) went on our first cruise January 2010 our of San Juan, Puerto Rico on Victory, then January 2011 out of New Orleans on Triumph. Then December 2011 on Destiny out of Miami. We have had a great time on these ships and have never had a problem putting 5 of us in a cabin. The a week ago my friends and I started planning our 4th cruise for January 2013 ( we like to book early to get the best rate) And we had our heart set on the 8 day cruise on the Freedom out of Ft. Lauderdale, but when I went to book they said they didn’t accomadate 5 to a room! SO what was I to do?? They said to book 2 rooms!! Ok that was $1000.00 more! Not a go, so we checked the Breeze nope nada UNLESS we had 5 single beds.We checked the Dream out of Port Canaveral, yep 5 single beds, WHAT is going on???? Last time I checked 3 kids wasn’t out of a normal range for a family.Can you pass this onto the beards that I am not a happy Cruiser!!!
What am I to do? Can’t they provide a small cot that slides under the king size bed like we had on the Victory? OR you could loan me the $1000.00 and I’ll take the 8 day one!
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REPLY!!!!!!!
John, we have a group of 11 traveling on the Carnival Magic, February 19, 2012 through February 26, 2012. Is there any way we will all be able to sit together for dinner? It is really important to us to be able to do this. We are all scheduled for the late seating. What do we need to do in order to accomplish this?
Oh, and don’t let the TROLLS get you down. They seem to think it is their job to spray us all with their poo hoses and then watch how we react.
John I left a comment about our family of 5 going on the Freedom, you said you would have someone call me, how can I give them my number? I am a past cruiser if that helps, thanks!
I love reading your blog, But—I wish you wouldn’t mention “sitting around in your underpants”, every time you do I imagin you sitting in your under pants and it is not a pretty sight.
Best Regards
Last year we sailed on the Glory around the end of January (can’t remember the exact date) between the 14 and 26. It was Naussau/St. Thomas/Grand Turk. There was a couple that sang in the lobby bar. I think they were Hawaiian. They were fabulous and drew bigger and bigger crowds every night. Can you tell me who they were and if they will be on board again? when and which ship? Love cruising! We are going on our 11th and 12th this February on the Miracle
Hi John. Just found your blog, but love your sense of humor so I’m now following your Facebook posts as well. Sadly, trolls seem to be here to stay, but I wanted to comment on this overall epidemic in the travel industry. Trip Advisor is coming under fire more and more for having fake glowing posts about hotels, competitors secretly slandering other hotels in an attempt to drive business their way. Hopefully these violations of honesty will be overcome soon, but in the meantime, please keep fighting the good fight… and for the love of god, put some pants on!