Heidi and I have not celebrated Valentine’s Day since her father passed away on February 14th 2005. And while tomorrow on the Carnival Magic guests will be proclaiming their love for each other and Carnival gives each lady a rose to mark this day of love, I shall be ignoring it. Now this isn’t just because it has for the last seven years become a day of sadness and remembrance because I have always hated Valentine’s Day ever since I was a teenager and I stood by the door waiting for a card to fall through the letterbox telling me that someone loved me. But they didn’t and February 14th was just another reminder that I was ugly and I had as much chance of getting a Valentine’s Day card as H82seaugo becoming president of the I Love John Heald fan club. No mailman was going to find himself with a hernia after delivering my mail on February 14th.
Not celebrating February 14th means I don’t have to wander through the valley of hell…..or as you ladies and Calvyn call them……Hallmark card shops. I hate these sodding shops, full of ridiculously expensive cards with pictures of cute teddy bears which are surrounded by cuddly toys and other stuff that makes me want to projectile vomit…On Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to buy a little teddy bear holding a sign that says “I Love You Soooo Much” with which to “romance” my wife or my girlfriend or indeed for someone whose name ends in a vowel…..both.
I am aware of course that there are far more important things to worry about, such as if the bastard in 51C who spent the entire flight to Houston yesterday coughing his lungs out had Ebola or swamp fever or whether or not I can remember how to be a cruise director after five months of brand ambassador work. But I hate these pink filled shops and I hate the fact that my wife would rather spend two weeks in a Hallmark shop than two weeks in Tahiti.
I hate them because if I had saved the money she had spent on cards then I would have my much wanted Aston Martin and still have some money left over to visit the VIP room of a Latvian pole dancing club. You may laugh, but it’s true. Look, by the time you’ve paid for a card, some scented sodding candles and a helium balloon that shouts I Love You, you feel as if you’ve been taken out to the woodshed by H82seaugo and his mates. Valentine’s Day my arse.
Time for a bit of Q and A……let’s crack on.
Glenn Gledhill asked:
John,We never get a table for two and have been refused three times when we ask the dining managers and had to endure the horrors of eating with strangers. So imagine my disgust when I read you were arranging these for people who have no more right to one than I do and my partner and I have cruised four times in three years with your company. This is not customer service but favoritism and it MUST STOP NOW!
John says:
Hello Glenn Gledhill,I understand your frustration, I really do but please understand that per ship, per cruise I ask for less than maybe 5% of the two tops that each ship has available. Please let me know when you are sailing next and I will do my best to secure you and your partner a table for two. I hope to hear from you soon.
Best wishes.
John
Hugo B asked:
My girlfriend and I will be on the Paradise sailing April 2, 2012 and she is very worried about seasickness. I have just lost my job in IT and could only afford an inside cabin at the back of the ship and she is so scared she will be seasick. I read on _______- that cabin R156 is the worst on the ship. Please can you help me reassure Vicki that this is not the case and she will be fine?
Thank you
John says:
Hello Hugo B,I am so glad you contacted me and please don’t worry. Your cabin is at the back of the vessel but unless there is severe weather your girlfriend will be fine. Now I will be honest of course and tell you that you will probably feel a little vibration when the ship enters port but it is not going to mean in any way that she will feel sick. I would suggest you buy some sea sick pills before you sail if she is that worried but that aside you will both have a brilliant time I promise. If there is anything else you need please let me know.
Best wishes to you both.
John
Harry and Monica Green asked:
On a recent cruise on the Carnival Splendor we had asked you for a gift to help celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. This was received in the shape of a fruit basket and wine. I do not wish to appear ungrateful but the fruit basket had little or no luxuries to it as one would expect and it was delivered with no plates or knives. Secondly the wine was sparkling wine that when tasted left a lot to be desired. I say this only because I think you should know as I am positive this is not what Carnival’s brand ambassador would want sent to passengers he had promised to reward.
John says:
Hello Harry and Monica Green,Thanks for letting me know this and while the fruit baskets do unusually containing…..ummmm ……….fruit as well as cheese and crackers they absolutely should be served with plates and knives and I will let the hotel director know this. The champagne doesn’t have a vintage but it does have an expiration date but it is very nice I am told and like the fruit basket was sent with my best wishes for a wonderful cruise and to help you celebrate 40 years together. I hope you had fun and I wish you many more cruises and many more years of happiness together.
Best wishes.
John
Jessica asked:
Hey John,I just got back this past Monday from an amazing cruise on the Carnival Destiny. I thought Noonan was a really funny cruise director……..and the comedians were really great. I’m writing to find out what the DJ’s name was……..for some reason it isn’t coming to me (I thought it was Ty but not 100%) and I’m interested in seeing if he has a website, Facebook, or twitter…I thought he was really talented and would like to see if he posts any mixes etc. If you could help…I’d be forever grateful…
John says:
Hello Jessica,This is wonderful to read and I am so glad you had a great cruise and enjoyed the brilliant Noonan as your CD. The DJ’s name was indeed Ty but spelt Tai and I have sent this to him so he can write and thank you for your kind words. I hope that’s OK. I hope we will see you again on another cruise very soon.
Best wishes and thanks for taking the time to write.
John
Darchie asked:
Is soy milk available on all Carnival ships normally, or is that something that would need to be requested ahead of time?
John says:
Hello Darchie,Soy milk is available on all our ships through room service, from your waiter at dinner, by request on lido deck and from the Promenade coffee shop. Please let me know if you have any other concerns.
Best wishes.
John
Jo Debevec asked:My granddaughter and I just returned to Miami on the Carnival Valor 11/6……our very first cruise! We have lots of great memories. Absolutely everyone on the staff was very helpful… we were really clueless as to what we were supposed to do next and where to find everything. One thing I would point out is not to try to bring a bottle of alcohol back to the US in carry-on luggage, as airline security will not allow it. When my bottle of rum that I purchased in George Town was delivered to my stateroom the night before arriving in Miami, I was told to pack it in carry-on luggage as it would break in my checked luggage. I should have known better…. and I had to leave behind my bottle of rum. My only other negative comment is that the post-cruise responses are non-existent. I did not receive a statement for charges made to my Sail & Sign card so requested a statement by email after we returned and have not even so much as received an acknowledgement to that request yet. Thanks for your blog……..it was really helpful to me in my post-cruise research.
John says:
Hello Jo Debevec,Let’s start with a big thanks from me for taking the time to write and for your kind words about the blog. I am so glad you both had a great cruise and was though sorry to know about the lack of correspondence following your cruise. Obviously I am way behind here in answering questions so I probably haven’t helped but I promise to investigate this and have a colleague make sure you are looked after. Thanks again and if you need anything else please do let me know.
Best wishes.
John
Lorrie Broyles asked:
Dear John,My husband and I are devoted Carnival fans and do not want to cruise any other cruise line. Unfortunately we want to do a back-to-back cruise of Hawaii and Alaska for our 10- year anniversary which will be in 2015. We are concerned that due to the Carnival Spirit leaving to go to Australia we may not be able to do our dream cruise. Please tell me that Carnival has already started thinking about replacing the Carnival Spirit with another ship for those of us who want to cruise Hawaii and Alaska. And if this will help, pretty please with Splenda, Nutrasweet and Sweet-N-Low on top. (I try to stay away from real sugar!!!!)
John says:
Hello Lorrie Broyles,Timing they say, is everything and I am sure by now that you have seen that we announced a few days ago that the Carnival Miracle will head to Alaska and the Carnival Splendor will head after some amazing voyages to South America to New York. I hope you can find a cruise that you like and that we will see you soon. Thanks for all the sugar and for the sugar substitute and most importantly thanks for your loyalty to Carnival. If there is anything you need from me please let me know.
Best wishes.
John
Cindy Bank asked:
John-I sailed on the Carnival Spirit this past February and I was hoping to be able to fill out a comment card. I never received one in my cabin and things got a little crazy disembarking so I never got one from GS. I was hoping to be able to do it electronically but have had no luck in finding a link. I wanted to give high praise to Akos at the excursion desk during my cruise. I had friends that missed the ship in San Diego due to weather and so I was asked by them to rearrange their excursions in Cabo. Akos always had a smile on his face and went above and beyond to help my friends out. When they missed the ship on day #1 in Cabo (seas were too rough to allow the tenders to safely take passengers in, so we had another sea day), Akos again went above and beyond to help them out and rearrange things for them. He knew my name and was such a huge help to me and my stranded friends (whom eventually made it onto the ship on Cabo Day #2). What can I do to let Carnival know how wonderful he was to me and my friends?
Thank you!
Cindy
John says:
Hello Cindy Bank,You just did let Carnival know by writing and posting this here on the blog thingy. We no longer have onboard comment cards but I have just sent this to Akos and the senior management on the ship and all will be thrilled by your kind words of praise. I am sorry your friends missed Cabo but glad you had fun regardless and hope we see you again very soon.
Best wishes.
John
That’s all for today.
So here I am back on the beautiful fun ship Carnival Magic and I must say it’s great to be at sea again. The last two weeks or so have been quite difficult. I have been traveling and flying and packing and unpacking and learning Hasbro Game shows and flying again and taking my laptop out of my bag and taking my shoes off and putting them on and searching for new comedy talent and flying again and asking for a seat belt extension and farting all the way to Houston and freezing my bollocks off in England because global warming hasn’t arrived where I live yet and reading huge books feeling guilty about taking a week off Facebook and missing my wife and daughter and using and forgetting to take my diabetic pill and remembering that I am married and not to look at www.latvianbottoms.com and doing what Carnival wants of me and posting things that aren’t true as because I hadn’t checked with a senior enough beard and being sent the posts on you know where from people rejoicing in my errors.
Despite all of this I was shocked and somewhat concerned last Wednesday when I went for my diabetic check up that Doctor Longfinger said I looked “stressed.” This surprised me because even though I have been busy I certainly never considered myself to be stressed. I have always thought of stress belonging to other people and have always been amazed at what some people do to tell it to bugger off. I’ve never squeezed a stress ball and felt less stressed as a result. Regular readers will know that massage is out as well as I hate them and the one time I had one it didn’t end well for me or the poor spa girl who smelt the consequences of the stress ripping out of my bottom. Can you scream if it hurts? Are you allowed to fart?…….The mere thought of a massage makes my blood pressure rise……………not fall.
And this sodding computer of mine along with my raspberry doesn’t help.
You spend the first five minutes waiting for the damn thing to stop making chiming and beeping noises and the next 20 discovering that it won’t connect to either 3G or the Edge, and that you cannot remember the password you chose for the AT&T G spot thingy. Then, by the time you log on, the battery has died and your charger doesn’t fit the wall socket.
OK, maybe I am a little stressed because the Bon Voyage thing really did get to me. I said something which turned out to be as false as when the British Prime Minister walked down the steps of a Dehaviland aircraft in 1940 holding a piece of paper shouting, “There will be no war with Germany.” But it was the hateful comments that followed this really had me feeling ……… well yes OK…….stressed. I am writing this because I want sympathy? Well yes, maybe I am a bit but I am mostly writing to apologise for being away from you for the week. Normal service has been resumed though and along with the fact that I want to help as many people as I can, provide you with news and fun both here and on Facebook…..I won’t give up writing because I know that would make a tiny little group of people deliriously happy…..and we can’t have that now, can we?
So I am here but won’t be CD until the 19th. This was my decision because although I have been a cruise director for 20 plus years I haven’t been one in the Caribbean for…….well a long time. There have been changes and procedures that have been added that I need to see before walking my arse on to the stage. Things like the fun ashore and fun onboard talk along with a few other changes, as well.
Now I will probably regret this decision as I have missed the stage time so very much. But until the 19th the cruise director will be Hennie Van Heerden and I will make sure I help him all I can but he has already proven himself on the Carnival Conquest so I know he will do a great job.
So let’s see who is sailing this cruise and where we are going:
USA: 3,438
Canada: 138
Mexico: 23
Great Britain (UK): 19
Korea (South): 29
Total guests: 3,991
Children under 18: 339
And this is where we are going and who will be entertaining the guests
Great entertainment and brilliant comedians. I know them all except “Just June” but I hear she is sensational and I look forward to seeing her shows.
It has been strange not writing to you here for over a week and it’s great to be back. Obviously it’s been a challenging few weeks but as I walked the decks last night and watched people laughing at the Punchliner comedy club, dancing to the live bands, drinking a glass or 12 of ThirstyFrog Red, squealing with laughter as the slot machines tell them they have won…or not ……..and sitting with friends and family sharing the good and the fun times, it was obvious that despite recent events the industry continues to be strong. Why? Well price, quality, fun, choice, service, and destinations must be taken into account and if being judged by Lenny and his mates on Dancing with the Stars I would think score an almost consistent row of tens. And yet a Carnival cruise is so much, much more than that.
I look forward to continuing to share everything I can with you as we discuss the good, the not so good and ways we can improve. I can’t wait tell you more exciting news about our fantastic company and industry and and ultimately why you and I and hundreds of thousands of people across the world still think of cruising as simply …… the best vacation in the world. It’s great to be back.
Goodnight.
Your friend,
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Me and my family will be cruising on the Carnival Freedom on March 10 for 8 days. Do you know if this ship offer dinner seating for 3 people? If so, who I need to contact to request such? A member of my family tends to eat really slow and shy away from dinner because of this reason when they have to eat with a group.
Dear Tiphinie,
If you want a table for three there is two things you can do.
One
Go see the Matre D as soon as you board and make your request.
Two
Sign up for anytime dining and when you get to the dining room simply ask for a table of your own.
The Cruzin2some
“I don’t want to seem ungrateful but things you sent not because I deserve them or did anything to earn them, I just felt like asking for something for nothing were not good enough” ~ wow, would hate to see what you’d say if you WERE trying to sound ungrateful!
Very good point Wendy….
I have always been told that whenever someone uses the word BUT…
one should ignore everything that was said BEFORE the BUT,
because what comes AFTER BUT is what they really mean.
The horrors of eating with strangers, they must not cruise much. Never had that problem. We also know where we could get a plate and fork/knive. Guess some can’t think to much for their selves.
One of the pleasures of cruising for us is meeting new people. The dining room is probably the best place to do so. I don’t understand demanding a “table for two”.
Hey john
Just wanted to say glad your back mate! I have missed the blog as I am sure have many others! Quick question have you ever thought of a blog app for HTC and IPhones?
Thank you for continuing to brighten all of our days or in my case the bus ride home from the pub as at the moment London is still chapping!!
Cheers
Robin
Hugo B; May I recommend the Transderm Scōp Patch for motion/sea sickness. After suffering through my first 14 day cruise so sea sick I couldn’t get out of bed, I had deceided that crusing wasn’t for me. My husband convinced me to try again, this time using The Patch, what an amazing difference! I love cruising now! It is a prescrition medication, and should be covered if you have Pharmacy Insurance coverage.
Welcome back John, we’ve missed you!
Harry and Monica Green…….how rude of you to request a favor and then complain!!!!! Have you no class or manners??? I hope the next time you want a favor the answer is NO! You do not deserve anything special!
Mr Heald,I am in shock ..You are a saint.I cannot believe the things people write into complain about.I could not believe my eyes when I read above the person complaining about the fruit basket..you were kind enough to take the time to have delivered as a Token to honor their anniversary.They ask for a gift,you deliver and they COMPLAIN?And the man complaining about you taking the time to arrange a 2 seater table when someone asks.and demands you stop???I don’t have words.bottomline I appreciate carnival and I appreciate you.
John Kathy and I are so looking forward to being with you again on the Bloggers cruise. See you on the 4th
Harry & Monica Green ,you are ungrateful spoiled brats! You ask Carnival to send you something for FREE and then have the nerve to complain it wasn’t good enough! The fruit basket with Wine is $39.00, I know because I have ordered it and paid for it from Bon Voyage when I thought the occasion was important enough. Ive also decorated staterooms and ordered other gifts for friends and family. Next time you want to celebrate a special occasion, call Bon Voyage and order your own gifts! (something tells me you are too cheap to order anything on you own).
Imagine a fruit basket! With no plates! How dare Carnival! WHAT DO YOU NEED PLATES FOR WHEN EATING FRUIT….
Seriously, take a long walk on a short pier!
Amen..Cindy..These folks are really selfish and kind of creep me out.what is happening to humanity??
Harry and Monica Green,
How ungrateful of you to complain about a gift. John asked for our room number before our recent cruise, we never received anything. I certainly am not complaining about this (please don’t take it that way, John). With all the recent happenings (we sailed just after Costa sank), I couldn’t imagine where he would find time to send me something. Consider yourself lucky, he took time out of his day to try and make yours a little brighter! Some people!
Gina
John,
Just want to pass on a tip about sea sickness.
I discovered during my time on the Caribe 1 that drinking coffee tented to make me feel sick during rough conditions. Stay off the coffee (hot tea is a perfect replacement) and you may well feel fine.
Worked for me, even during the spring break storm of 1993 when we spent 1 night going from Cayman to Jamaica in the most savage storm I will ever remember.
Cheers, Kevin.
John, I have to disagree with the lady who was disappointed with the fruit basket. My hubby and I received one with a bottle of champagne on the second cruise of a back to back. We enjoyed it very much, and although I’m not much of a champagne drinker, it was a lovely suprise to find it in our cabin. Hubby drank the wine, I ate the fruit, and we were happy. Thanks to carnival for the :little things”.
Harry & Monica, you are some VERY ungrateful people. You have nerve in the first place to say it’s my anniversay give me something, then when they do OHHH it was not good enough. Have some cheese with that wine!! Get a life and get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder how many Valentine’s card you would get now….
Hi John. I’m perplexed as to why Harry and Monica would be disappointed at all in the gift you sent them, and even more so that they would ask for a gift! Isn’t that what the Bon Voyage store is for? They offer many gifts that can be delivered to a cabin. I have both purchased gifts and been the recipient of on board gifts. But I would never, NEVER ask for a gift. How much more romantic it would have been if the husband arranged to purchase from Gifts and Services and surprise his wife of 40 years, instead of expecting a freebie. Now let’s see – I’m cruising in 33 days. I wonder what I could ask for! Just imagine if the entire ship expected free gifts. I hope you don’t let ungrateful people like this get you down. You do a fantastic job. I hope to cruise someday on a ship with you as CD.
Dear Hugo- I, too, was terrified of being seasick on my first cruise, since I get seasick in a bathtub! My room was dead centre at the back of the ship, and I was sure I was doomed to living on seasick pills and candied ginger … and I wasn’t even queasy! Not even in rough waters. I was so happy that I am now booked on cruise #2 in 70 days! Tell your girlfriend to bring pills, ginger, and acupressure wristbands, and be prepared not to use any of them! Bon Voyage.
Mr. and Mrs. Green … seriously? If you don’t wish to sound ungrateful, perhaps you could have said “thank you”, before you complained about your free gift.
And Glen… sigh. The “horrors of eating with strangers”? If you asked for a table for 2 in the same tone as that letter, are you really surprised that you didn’t get one?
John- welcome back to the seas.
John,
Hope all is well and love your blog. My family and I will be going on our 6th cruise with Carnival since 2006. We are sailing on the Legend and this will mark 6 years since my wife got engaged on the Carnival Victory in the middle of the Caribbean.
We been dedicated to Carnival and love it, but we have taken 3 cruises since 2009 and I have noticed the shows at night are pretty much the same on every ship, we have even had the same comedian over a year later with the same act. don’t remember her name but she loves black men and has a nipple song to a Christmas jingle. Am I going to see the same shows next week? My other question is, how many cruises to you hit VIP status?
Thank you for all you do John and appreciate you taking the time to respond to my questions. hope to one day have you as our CD.
Sincerely,
Dan Kotchkowski
Hi John,
We are leaving the day after tomorrow for our 4 day get away on the Destiny. I wanted to let you know right now that we had a fantastic time. How can I know that? We are Platinum cruisers (well I ran outa fingers and I have ugly toes so I don’t even want to use them for counting. We always have a great time on Carnival and have learned it is what you make of it. If a port is missed due to rough seas it’s a great time to sit on the deck and watch rate the drama of the other guests. I want to thank you for your blog as it always brightens my day.. Cheers Mate!
Harry and Monica sure have a lot of nerve complaining about their FREE fruit and wine basket. Maybe they should try another cruise line that could absolutly care less.
Hi John, my wife and I will be on the Ecstacy in 27 days for our third Carnival cruise. I’m a big fan of machinery and worked with R.O. water purification in the Army. I’m wondering if it is possible to get a tour of the engines and maybe some of the other wonderful machinery on a ship like this.
If it isn’t possible, don’t worry to much, I’m sure I’ll find plenty of other things to do to stay occupied.
Thanks for everything you do.
Dear John,
I am looking forward to my 8 day cruise on the Carnival Miracle. We are leaving March 1, 2012 from Ft Lauderdale. My husband and I are celebrating our first anniversary. We celebrated our honeymoon on the Sensation and our 6 month anniversary on the Dream. I got my husband his first room with a balcony, booked 3 excursions, and dinner at the Steakhouse. I am going big for our year and making it one to remember. I really enjoy your blogs and following you. Hopefully one day you will be our cruise director. Any other recommendations to make this the best cruise ever? We did the spa last time on the Dream and found it to be less than par. Many of the heated chairs and water jets were broke and the ones that worked were often crowded, so I know my husband will not want that again.
Thanks,
Joanna
Hello John, will you be on the Breeze in August? My husband and I started sailing with you a million years ago when we were all too young to remember. I would love to say hello again. We will be on the Breeze on the 26th of August sailing out of Venice.
A comment for Lorrie Broyles. Be sure to check into the requirements of “The Jones Act”. My husband and I tried to do Hawaii & Alaska back to back and were not allowed to because of restrictions related to the Jones Act.
Loved the blog today! I’m so glad you are back on board doing what you love. After reading your observations after a stroll through the ship, I am so ready to jump on a cruise in the near future. Thanks for hanging in there and just look at the beautiful blue water and de-stress.
MaryC
John,
I sail on the Magic this coming Sunday the 19th.with my son. After reading about the booze confiscated by security I have decided to be a good boy and not repeat my past sins.
What are the best options for free booze onboard and does the Bon Voyage dept deliver hard liquor to staterooms?
David,
For free drinks your options are:
1) The Fond Farewell Party. Look for details in the Funtimes the first day of the cruise, as this is the only time they advertise it.
2) The Past Guest Party if you have sailed with Carnival before.
As far as Bon Voyage goes you can order hard liquor by calling them, for some reason they don’t have that option on the website.
@ Hugo: the scopolamine ear patch was recommended by someone and even I had tried it several times but it can sometimes have unexpected effects: very dry mouth on the low end of the scale to experiencing hallucinations. You must get this from a physician. I have preferred to use “Sea-Bands” which are elasticized wristbands with a small button attached which acts as acupressure. Directions come with the package. There is nothing harmful about them and there is no medication involved.
One of the crew taught me what some of the crew did when feeling a little off. He had me take a slice of lemon and put a LOT of salt on it and then suck it. Believe me, NOTHING will be able to Leave your stomach as it seems your stomach tightly squeezes shut.
The ships are made so wonderfully & using their stabilizers make for a wonderful trip and in most of my 45+ cruises I was a little off only once. THINKING about getting sick does a lot of people in so have happy thoughts about sailing and enjoy the Fun Ship that you’re on….
Glad you are back! You have been missed! Cheers!
Just found out today that you will be CD on the feb 26th magic. My husband and our soon to be 6 year old son Joplin and I are so looking forward to this vacation we have had a really hard year and are ready to relax and have fun. Hope we get to meet you.
Wish our Magic cruise in December had included meeting you, but scheduling got in our way. After our cruise I received an e-mail from Ocean Players Club that they were sorry they missed my e-mail asking for our comps…and, please let them know when we are sailing again. Well it seems they are still not answering e-mails or voice mail messages. I guess this is a test to see if you get my comment because when we asked for a recognition of several celebrations also went unanswered.
Is anyone out there??
Harry and Monica Green,
Next time, just say thank you. Freaking ingrates.
If you have any expectations of what you want to celebrate with, don’t be so cheap and buy it yourself.
Hi John wish I was sailing with u again.u said u r on the ship with hennie. We saw him on the fantasy and I really liked him but not as much a u. Have fun on the magic. Hailee the godchild
I cannot believe that people would be so ungrateful after having received a gift. I recently sailed the Dream and the Paradise and asked John if he could exchange my strawberries for cheese plates because I am allergic to strawberries. Not only did this get done, but on the Paradise, John sent me a Ship on a Stick and a bottle of Champagne. It was totally unexpected and completely appreciated. John, Thank You for all you do and forget the ones that don’t appreciate it.
Hey John ….I was so glad to read your post about you once again being a CD aboard the Magic. That is fantastic !! We had the oportunity to be on our first cruise with you as CD but unfortunately it was on the Slendor when the fire occured the morning after debarkation. Your professionalism and constant contact along with some much needed humor thrown in, made a bad situation bearable for all of us. That being said, we will be on the Magic on Feb 26th and it is very comforting to know that you will be our CD once again! This time we will be able to really see what a Carnival cruise should be!!
Looking forward to seeing you and possibly meeting you while onboard.
sincerely,
Steve + Joan Hughes
Welcome back, John – have really missed the laughter your blog inserts into my days. Please pay no attention to the rude ones – remember, you just can’t fix stupid.
And once again, thank you so very much for remembering that a friend and I were cruising on the Magic TA with a fruit basket which I thought was lovely – and imagine, I didn’t ask for anything – it was a very nice surprise.
See you on the Breeze true inaugural.
Sure have missed you! Welcome back !
John, I know it’s difficult but I wish you would stop taking the comments of a few idiots to heart. There will always be haters, no matter what you do. Screw ‘em. You’re doing a great job and you have lots of people who enjoy your ramblings
“I do not wish to appear ungrateful but the fruit basket had little or no luxuries to it as one would expect and it was delivered with no plates or knives.”
No need to wish to appear be ungrateful Harry and Monica Green, you ARE ungrateful. It may not have been your wish, but you succeeded. You married each other 40 years ago, why is it anyone else’s job to make your anniversary special? Instead of a cruise, maybe you should have taken a trip to a 3rd world country to bring perspective to your lives.
John, you are indeed a Saint! You handle these ridiculous comments with grace and dignity. I hope we get to sail with you soon!
I, on one hand, can relate to your valentines day comments. Been there, done that. Valentines day can bring back good memories and bad memories of loves and loves lost. But I’ll make this short … maybe .. It is not the emotion of the recipient of the valentines day gift (and god knows I have watched and been with my wife for hours in a card store waiting for her to pick the correct card for someone) … It is the fact that a person takes the time to do that. Is the emotion of the giver that we should consider(and yes that includes you). The fact, regarldess of what you receive, is that someone took the time to think of someone and pick out the appropirate card .. no matter how strange, wierd, romnantic, or dumb the card may seem. What you get or don’t get may bring back memories we don’t want to think about. And it may bring back memories of good times. Bottom time .. IT”S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!. For those we love and those we loved and have lost .. It is a celebration of life and realtionships. John, you say what you think in the way you think it and I’m gonna say what I think … GET OVER IT! People, even like me, think about you, appreciate you, enjoy you, and some get angry with what you write and some get great pleasure with what you write. EMBRACE THAT NO MATTER HOW IT COMES TO YOU.Havne’t met ya in person yet …. but … Happy Valentines Day. Your writings have becoem an enjoyable part of my life. You’ve been through some stuff, we all have. Happy Sailing .. Your Submariner Friend .. Steve
Hello John,
I am constantly amazed by two things that I quite often read in your posts; #1 – the number of people asking for freebies, #2 – the number of people who complain about what I would refer to as “the little things”.
Today you posted a comment from Harry and Monica Green for whom you had provided a fruit basket and bottle of bubbly to celebrate their 40th anniversary. The comment mentions not wanting to sound “ungrateful”, sorry – too late. After receiving this gift only to complain that the porter forgot to leave plates…..
How difficult would it be just pick up the phone and ask for them to be brought to your cabin and leave it at that and not worry about voicing your disappointment to the world.
I have sailed with Carnival four times, and will do so again on the Dream this coming Saturday. I realize that when trying to accommodate the needs and wishes of thousands of people that every now and then
something will go a stray. All in all Carnival does a fantastic job of meeting our needs.
I guess this is what our entitlement society has come to, ask for something for nothing and then complain about it when we get it!
Keep up the great John etal, I look forward to being able to post a glowing review about the Dream next week!
Bill Baines
For Glenn who was forced to face the horror of dining with others and expects Heald to snap to for him like he does for “everyone” else.
Glenn, he doesn’t like you apparently.
John: Glenn wrote that he was refused a table for 2. I just got off the ELATION and had YTD. I sailed alone and asked to be seated with other people. I WAS REFUSED. Each evening I sat all by myself at a table for 2. I also had sent you a post about this cruise and never received a reply or the canapes that requested. I sent the strawberrys to another cabin.
John, for our ninth anniversary we cruised with you on Dream. My wife was feeling sick the first day out. You sent us a ship on a stick, a picture of our ship with a note on it hand written by you, and a bottle of champagne. Wife and I are not wine drinkers so gave the bottle to someone else to enjoy. But not til after we took a picture of it along with the ship on a stick and the picture. I am not complaining nor asking for anything on our next cruise. We sent you a thank you note then and I am taking the time now to to tell you again how thankful we were that you took the time to send those items to us. The ship on a stick is in our bedroom on our dresser to remind us daily of a fantastic vacation. The picture with note, is my favorite souvenir from our cruise, and is in our scrapbook. A fruit basket with or without plates would have been a marvelous but unnecessary addition. We can get all the fruit we want up on Lido or through room service. We wish you were sailing with us again on Dream for our eleventh anniversary but plan on having a brilliant time without you. Have the beards looked into cloning you? Then every ship could have their own John every cruise.
Dear John – a review for you!
Hi John, it’s you long-time pal Jeff here (you know, since day one of the Freedom and the blog). Anyway, we just got back from our honeymoon on the Carnival Victory in the southern Caribbean. It felt good to actually go somewhere different in the Caribbean instead of the usual mediocre islands. St. Lucia and St. Kitts were beautiful, though Barbados was a complete crap-hole. Anyway, embarkation (in Puerto Rico) was actually a breeze this time (not to be confused with the Carnival Breeze, which I haven’t been on yet), and we were ready to go. I have to say, though the Victory itself was not one of my favorite Carnival ships, the staff was probably the best I have encountered so far out of all of them. They were so good, in fact, that this is the first time I’ve ever felt the need to make sure to sing their praises. The dining room staff was exemplary. Olga, sweet as can be, always made sure we had a table for two for our honeymoon, even though we had Anytime dining. Leslie (who I called Heavy D as he looked just the rapper) was a true gentleman. And our waiter, I Made, was the best. Like I said, we had Anytime dining, yet he knew our names right away, and took outstanding care of us, no small feat considering the amount of work I made him do, poor guy. We made sure to take care of him. His assistant Ketut (no kidding) was also excellent. Our room steward, whose name I made sure to remember but annoyingly forgot along the way, was also excellent and always called us by name, which was unusual. They were all just far beyond expectations. The food was exquisite as usual. There were no negatives on this cruise that I can even think of, I’m happy to say, other than that you weren’t the cruise director, though Matt, who looks just like you, was excellent. A great job all around!
John: Do you have any idea how many people appreciate you and what you do to entertain us either on board a Carnival ship or with your many writtings. I don’t know how you do it all. Stressed, well yes, I would think so. Please, you must stop thinking of yourself as ugly. Look in a mirror, you are a very handsome man. No one sees your weight or someother flaw, they see John…handsome, a huge heart, funny, a family man and soooo normal. Not stuckup, or rude. You are someone that everyone can relate to. Love your attitude…you are our John, loved by all.
Hi John: I am so sorry you feel ugly.Many share the same feelings about them selfs because society has set there standard of beauty. We come in all sizes, shapes and colors. Real buity comes from within our selfs, not what we look like on the out side. This may not be of much comfort to you but you are a beautyful human being and you have given me much joy through your blog.
And to my fellow blogers, if you agree, please send John a qiuck message. (John, I agree with Fun Dad, you are beautyful and loving person.
Hi John i have been reading these blogs and the one about the fruit basket was just so terrible i have never met you but i can see by what everybody else says that your a very caring understanding person and for you to send them a gift and get a response like that shows what kind of people they were i will be on Triumph on Oct 8th for my Honeymoon and never would think of asking for a gift and for you to go out of your way and get that kinda of response well John hope to meet you one day this is our first cruise and we plan to make it our anniversary every year afterwards have a good day
Welcome back. So happy that you are back on the Magic as we will be joining you on the 26th. We sailed with you on the Legend in 2009. I have be a faithful blogger ever since. I am friend of yours on Facebook. Please keep doing what you do as you make many people happy.
John:
It sounds like you need something that most of us take for granted…and that is a REAL
vacation.
Not just time with Heidi and Kye at home, but a real vacation.
Might I suggest that you take Heidi and Kye to Hawaii with us in April before you buckle down to your commitment to the Carnival Breeze.
No laptop or blackberry in the middle of the Pacific!!
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
Glad to see your getting back into the swing of things John. I was on the fence for a upcoming cruise and the fact that are to be the CD made the difference. Both my wife and myself look forward to meeting you in person, first port call I always get a Cubano or two. You’ll be able to pick us out of the crowd as we will arrive in a rented black Aston DBS with the top down. My wife will be seen frequently around the ship performing her Latvian pole dance routine that won her first place last week. It is certainly nice to see there are no French on the current cruise, hope this will be the same for ours. Please if you can make certain the weather is perfect for us, it will be appreciated.
Thanks,
Rick & Jeanne
p.s. The Heat is on a roll, will you get to watch the game tonight against the Pacers?
John: Welcome back! This will sound weird but I missed you! My father passed away in October and a few weeks ago my brother passed away suddenly. My families lives have stopped but the world kept going. So when I finally come back to the world I read your blog and I laugh out loud again. I will be on the Victory leaving April 15th. It was booked long, long ago. I will eat with strangers. Some may even be weird. I will get pushed around in the buffet line because I’m just over 5 feet and I will not complain. I don’t want anything from you. I did try to get you to move the heavens once to try to get Canadian hockey on the Magic in Europe but even you aren’t God. I wish for nothing but the sun, a few cold drinks, the companionship of the love of my life. That’s it. Life is good. Cheers!
Harry and Monica Green… I only have this to say: beggars can’t be choosers.
Hello Dear John,
We are delighted to see that you will be our cruise director on the Magic starting Feb. 26. We were with you on the Legend in Oct. 2009 which was our first Carnival cruise. We have to tell you that in planning tis cruise we were hoping you would again be our cruise director. We have sailed with Princess and Royal and on a scale of 1-10, we have rated you a 12. I don’t think we have ever laughed so hard and it was the first time we purchased CD’s so our friends and family could laugh with us. We are sooooo looking forward to seeing you again.
Dear John,
We don’t celebrate Halloween any more for the same reason. We have lost two members of our family on that day and it is hard to paint your face and dress like a fool when your heart just can’t smile. I hope you and Heidi and lil’ Kye have a chance to talk and tell each other how much you Love each other.
The Cruzin2some
It is hilarious that you mention this guy twice in your blog! “H82seaugo” becoming president of the I Love John Heald fan club…” He will never become anyone’s fan; I have read him repeatedly on CC and just love the way he is always looking for trouble! I get a kick out of him, really John and so should you. I’d actually love to meet this guy.
As far as Valentine’s Day goes, we don’t celebrate it either after 38 years of marriatge and today, I cooked 2 meals something very unusual. I normally cook only one meal a day but I didn’t ask DH to go for take out or to take me out or to buy me flowers.For many of us these holidays bring back nostalgic memories and that’s OK.
Someone who appreciates me. Bless your soul!
John: Happy Valentines day. No cards, no flowers, no candy, just love. I know you are missing Heidi and Kye, but, they understand that this is your job and they love you.
Enough of the Valentine stuff, I really wanted to write about my feeling sad about the letter you got from Harry and Monica Green. I thought that was a most disrecpectful letter sent to you. Instead of thanking you for your kindness, they did not like the basket or the wine. Shame on them. My husband Bob and I are in our 50th anniversary year, and, we along with two other couples who were celebrating their 25 and 40 anniversaires on the Carnival Freedom December 3, did not ask for gifts, we just enjoyed the beautiful ship and each other. I guess if you have the nerve to ask for gifts, you also have the nerve to complain.
I just had to get that off my chest. You are too good to be treated that way.
Marie
Stress, Stress, and more stress…… Without stress, we would not know how to relax!!! Glad you are back and hopefully less “stressed”… Come to think of it, since relaxation is what your job strives to offer, stress in your life would only make you work that much harder to please everyone else… In return causing more stress… As a fellow diabetic (insulin dependent), and a total workaholic, I am more than aware the dangers of stress… That being said, I sail Feb 20, on the Elation with my husband for both our birthdays… My 2nd, his 1st… I want to personally thank you…. Thank you for enduring all the stress so people like myself can have a relaxing vacation…. Also, for those who want to criticize you, they need to GET OVER IT!!!!!!!! Because The world does not revolve around them at every moment….
God Bless,
Mandye
Darchie: Soy milk is only available in the dining room, and it takes quite some time to get. I just got off the Dream and althought soy is available, it is in a “special” allergy location, not accessible by all of the wait staff, according to the Maitre D’. Room service said to get it on the Lido deck when I called, and the Lido deck staff said it was only available in the dining room.
Hello John,
I just had to drop you a note and let you know we just returned from a brilliant back-to-back cruise on the Valor, Jan 26 – Feb 12. This was our first BTB and much to our surprise we returned to our cabin one afternoon to find a lovely fruit basket and bottle of wine, compliments of the hotel director. We were not expecting anything so this brought extra smiles to our faces and made the trip even more enjoyable. We have already booked another BTB on the Liberty for next Jan/Feb. Also, we need to let you know that our cabin stewards Mahhud and Putu were amazing. We were in cabin 7311 for 14 days and we enjoyed the friendly service and being greeted by name many times each day. Looking forward to our next cruise. – Rick T
Next week at this time my Fiance and myself will be on our way to the Caribbean, for the second time on the Carnival liberty. We sailed three years ago, what was to be our honeymoon, became her bout with ovarian cancer. But she is fighter, we still went on the cruise and put off the wedding. We are both in good health, and we are looking forward to seeing the new changes.
I just want to say that I really hope that these jerks who ask for freebies and then complain after getting them read your blogs and the comments that people have about them. They really need to know what people think about their ungrateful attitudes. I really wish you could retroactively charge them for the items that were given them if they were to complain. Maybe they would have some respect for what you do for them then.
We just cruised on the Magic over Valentines Day. Ship was great, staff was great with the exception of one jewelry salesman. We’ve been on the Conquest once and RCL twice. Our group really had an issue with late seating and the abilty to go to all the shows. Seemed that more entertainment was happening for the early seating people. Really enjoyed the comedy and would suggest that you have it in the main theater. Main show themes were average with the exception of the Legends show the last night. We were a small group of 8 and I know that most will disagree with our opinion. Thanks
Hi John,
Thrilled to hear you are on the Magic. We cruised with you on the Conquest in March of 2010. Sooo looking forward to the cruise April 29th. See you then.
Joy & Kyle Tribble
Just checking, are you on the Magic for April 29th ?? Our family of 9 will be looking for you. !!