I have had Heidi and Kye here this cruise and they have had a wonderful time and indeed for me it has been simply brilliant to have my darling girls with me. Kye is three years old now and still in awe of her father especially when I am on stage holding that magical thing she calls, “Dadda’s mickyphone” which for those who don’t speak three year old English, means Dadda’s microphone. Yep, it’s all cuddles and kisses and I have one proud daughter who loves everything her Dad does. But I am truly aware that as the years role on, that this will change and Dadda will soon be one big lump of an embarrassment to her. I have seen this so much over the years, parents embarrassing their kids on the cruise. So here’s a guide to what parents can do when they take them on one of our Fun Ships to stop their children wanting to never leave the cabin.
Never squeal with excitement like a pig being tasered when you see the ship for the first time. Jumping up and down shouting’ “Oh, my God, Oh, my God, it’s huge, look at the slide, look at the smoke stack, I think I can see our cabin” should be considered child cruelty.
Please Mum and Dad– no romantic moments in front of the kids. Please don’t hold hands down Promenade or start playing tonsil hockey while walking the deck at night, not in front of the children. This will tarnish them forever.
Never wear clothes that are too young for you. Wearing a bikini or tight swim shorts on Lido Deck or tight jeans or Abercrombie and Finch T-shirts embarrass the heck out of the kids, so please don’t wear them. In fact, kids would much prefer if you didn’t expose any of your body in front of them at all and, in fact, they would truly prefer you stay in the cabin the entire cruise.
Please, please Mum and Dad, never ever dance in front of your kids. Dad dancing to Slap My Bitch Down in the Liquid Nightclub is a crime and your children will need therapy if they see Mum “dropping it like it was hot.”
Please Mum and Dad, I beg you, please don’t take us to karaoke and have to listen to you sing. And, like, who are Sonny and Cher, anyway?
Never use your child’s cute nick name in front of their friends at Circle C. Saying, “Did my little princess have a good time with the kiddies today?” This may a) make them vomit and b) make them want to get off the ship in the next port, leave home and become a Goth.
Never try to “speak street” with kids by using teen language. Wearing a polo shirt tucked tight into a pair of Dockers that says, “What’s up Dog” when he meets a friend your son has made at Club O2, is just truly sad.
Never write a letter to the cruise director demanding that your daughter must be in the talent show because she is the greatest singer in the world and will be the next Brittney GaGa. No, she isn’t. She has a cute voice and that’s it and she just wants to have fun with her friends at Club O2 and forcing her on stage to sing an Adele song in the talent show is simply cruel.
Time for today’s Q and A…….here we go.
Tiffany asked:
Hi John!I really enjoy reading your blog – love your humor and honesty! We have cruised twice with Carnival (Valor in 2010 and Fascination in 2011). We loved both trips and are booked for our third. We’ll be sailing on the Ecstasy in Dec. – I cannot imagine somewhere better to be for Christmas than Half Moon Cay.
I’ve read a lot of the reviews, and even among the positive ones, there seems to be a bit of a problem with food being served cold in the MDR on this ship. I’m wondering if the people in suits track common issues on the ships in an effort to address them? As I said, this is our third cruise, but the first for my parents and brother who are going with us. I have talked so much about how great our first two cruises were, and I believe if this one is as good as the others,
they’ll be hooked as well! Thanks for your help! I am looking forward to a great week!John says:
Hello Tiffany,Thanks so much for the wonderful words of praise at the start of the post and I will keep trying to make sure I post fun and information as often as I can here. It is great to see that you are cruising again with us and, I agree, Christmas at Half Moon Cay will be fantastic. I haven’t seen any reviews that mention cold food so please don’t worry too much and I will though pass your concerns to the ship. Please make sure you contact me before you cruise with your cabin number.
Best wishes to you all,
John
Quonetta Lewis asked:
I was wondering why Carnival’s Bon Voyage has discontinued some of its items like its towels for purchase? Thank you.
John says:
Hello Quonetta Lewis,We are slowly disappearing our inventory on Bon Voyage as we will soon have an exciting new online store. I hope to have more news on this soon and until then, my apologies for the inconvenience.
Best wishes.
John
Ted George asked:
Mr. Heald,While on the Valor in March this year, the wife and I had the pleasure
of the Chefs Table which was quite awesome. We enjoyed a very fine
Merlot wine from McGuigan Winery and we cannot find here locally. The
wine was from their Bin 3000 series Vintage 2010. Can you find out for
us where in the United States we can purchase this wine or did
Carnival purchase the wine out of the United States?Thank you for your time in helping us with this question.
Ted George
John says:
Hello Ted George,I am so glad you enjoyed the Chef Table experience and the wine. Here is the full information.
Full name (wine list) – MCGuigan, Bin 3000, Limestone Coast, Australia. I hope you are successful in getting some locally. Please let me know if I can help further.
Best wishes.
John
Cindy Miller asked:
John,I’m thrilled to say that we (my mom and dad, my sister, my two children, and myself) have booked our third cruise with Carnival! We can’t wait. Happily, we’re bringing my brother and his family, my two aunts, and my grandfather and his wife with us for their first cruise. This will be four generations of family on board! All of us managed to get early dining, except for my grandfather. They are on the wait list, but, we really want to make sure they are with us for dinner. He’s 82 years old and has a couple health conditions, so we’d appreciate your help with this matter. We’re on the October 7 sailing of the Legend from Tampa.
Thanks for any help you can give us. I love reading your blog.
Thanks,
Cindy Miller
John says:
Hello Cindy Miller,I am sure we can help you out. Please though can you contact me again here on the blog one month before you sail or one week on my facebook.com/johnheald page? That way, I won’t forget and will do all I can for you. I am sure you will all have a brilliant time.
Best wishes.
John
Lester Haslett asked:
You know, John, when people talk about your weight, it is because they are trying to help you and the fact that you dismiss their help usually with some snide and off color remark is disturbing to me. Today in your blog, you wrote how a passenger had offered you some diet pills that had helped shed 80 pounds. John, you need to lose 80 pounds. You are obese, face facts! I am in a position to tell you this because I was 380 pounds and now am down to 225 and it’s because I let people help me and you should too because you are fat and fat will get you dead! So as someone who has cruised three times with Carnival and someone who has been where you are, I say stop ridiculing those who want to help you and do so before it is too late!
John says:
Hello Lester Haslett,I, first of all, congratulate you on losing all that weight, you must be very proud. I have never been that big and while I am still 288 pounds and continue to lose weight, I have a long, long way to go. I never mind people trying to help me. What I do mind is when guests feel it’s OK to come up to me, rub my stomach and tell me that they have a pill or a plan or a tea that will help me get rid of the awning I have built over my gentleman’s sausage. Why is it OK for them to do that? I don’t know the answer but many think it is OK to do it and, honestly, it takes a lot of will power not to tell them to bugger off. I know I am overweight. I am the first person to mention it on stage and in writing. But it is my weight just like it was yours and it’s for me to do something about. I hope that makes sense, Lester, and again, I congratulate you on your success.
Best wishes.
John
Tanya Nazwisko asked:
My husband and I are Polish and were deeply offended by your comedian Eddie Capone who made stereotypical Polish jokes. We got up and left as did most of the passengers. Does Carnival condone this?
John says:
Hello Tanya Nazwisko,I know the comedian you are referring to and I know that his show makes fun of every nationality, gender and more. Please accept my apologies that his jokes offended you and while we do give our Punchliner comedians a free rein on what they can say at their uncensored shows, we never want to offend anyone. I do hope that you had a nice cruise and that this one incident did not spoil the fun.
Best wishes.
John
David Castlebury asked:
John,I have been considering booking a suite but don’t see the advantage. Why doesn’t Carnival offer more perks for the suite passengers? The price of these suites is very high and we won’t get anything for them. Just a little something would be nice.
Thanks,
David
John says:
Hello David Castlebury,I wrote about this on my Facebook page and had 400 or so answers, I think, about what suite customers would like to see and I have sent those thoughts to the beards in charge. Certainly, I would say that one advantage is the cabin itself of course because our suites really do make a brilliant base for your cruise. I hope you book and if there are any changes to the suite benefits, I will let you know.
Best wishes.
John
Stuart G. Harper asked:
Mr Heald,I need urgent help for a table for three, please, for our cruise on July 21st on Breeze. I cannot sit with other passengers as I have no pallet in my mouth which makes conversation and eating somewhat embarrassing. Please, can you help me out? Thank you for this, John, it is such a wonderful thing having a resource like you! Keep up the grand work.
John says:
Hello Stuart G.Harper,Yes, of course, please do not worry because I have spoken to the maître d’ and he will indeed make sure you have a table for three. Have a brilliant cruise and if there is anything you need, please don’t hesitate to ask. See you soon.
Best wishes,
John
And that’s all for today.
So how are things on the Carnival Breeze, I hear you cry? They are all good and thanks for asking. The new features here and the 2.0 additions are a hit. But while I love having the Thrill Theatre and the new Playlist Production shows and RedFrog Pub, RedFrog Rum Bar, BlueIguana Cantina etc., etc., I also think it’s important that as a cruise director, I remind our guests about another feature that has been with us since Carnival began but is often these days overlooked and that is how people used to take walks around the decks at night under the stars, standing by the railings listening to the sounds of the sea. This doesn’t happen as much these days and so I am trying to remind our guests that this is something they should do, at least once, and I have, in fact, seen many couples and families do this and that I think is a good thing.
There have been a few comments on my Facebook page recently asking about when and if we are going to change the way we sell photos and certainly the world of photos has indeed changed. In the olden days, our cameras were the size of a coffee table book, but we’d carry them around with an assortment of spare lenses and flash guns and we’d move people out of the sun and make everyone smile and we’d take the film to the photo department on board and we’d pay a bit extra for a fast turnaround because we were desperate to see how everything had turned out. And then we’d leaf through the finished shots in 10 seconds, put them in a drawer and never ever look at them again.
Today, things are very different. Because you have a digital camera on your phone, you take pictures of absolutely everything and on YouTube, every day’s a wedding day. You used to come back from your cruise with 24 pictures, because that’s how many were on the film. Now, most people come back from a cruise with about a billion all stored on their digital cameras.
But then you have to store them onto your computer. This is easy enough if you have seven spare days, the patience of someone who’s actually dead and a master’s degree in Geek talk. Once you have finally understood how to put the photos onto the computer thingy, you face another problem. Do you delete the ones that have bugger all meaning or which are out of focus? No. You either leave them all where they are, in which case they will be lost for all of time when your hard drive crashes. Which, one day…………… I assure you, it will.
This leads me onto the current way Carnival sells photos because I can totally understand why Carnival’s hard copy portrait photos are so popular……….because you can actually put them in a frame…………..and look at them without having to press “control, alt thingy, delete” and call Bill Gates a complete and utter bastard for deleting the rarest photos in the world of your camera and that is……a photo of H82SEAUGO actually on a Carnival ship.
Seriously, though, our photo revenue is pretty much the best in the industry and as I have always said, good on board revenue keeps ticket prices down. I do think that some of our packages are a little expensive and I understand that we do end up with some unsold photos and these are recycled. But there is a certain air of fun in looking for your photos and that’s one of the reasons they are so popular. However, times do change and so soon we will trial a new system on a couple of ships to see how in this new era of digital storage, we can best serve our guests and I will have details on this soon.
Let’s talk shows shall we? The main theatre here on Carnival Breeze seats 1,400 people and with two sittings, that means 2,800 people who can see the shows. However, with a count of 4,000, this means that 1,000 or more guests cannot see them and that has always been a concern. We have always believed in a same format for our shows, for the most part. Have dinner, see a show. Two performances and if you miss it, that’s your lot, there is no other chance, you have missed it, that’s it.
So here on the Carnival Breeze we are trying something that we will be implementing next on Carnival Ecstasy followed by Carnival Conquest and Carnival Glory and eventually pretty much around the fleet……………..and that’s choice. A mix of shows repeated at different times and different nights which means you can plan on what show you see when and if you miss it one night, there will be other chances to see it again. Now on five day ships, we will repeat each show twice, on seven day ships three times and here on the 12-day run, we are doing now, we repeat the Playlist Production shows four times.
They are mixed with variety acts and the talent show and don’t forget, we have six different comedians performing 24 comedy shows as well.
So, a wonderful feast of entertainment. Now, I must admit, it’s a bugger to schedule as you have to plan who has seen what and when and what night and even Professor Stephen Hawking would find it hard………….but the effort is worth it. Now we realise that guests may get confused as to what show to see when so what we have done is to produce a flyer that the guests get at the start of the cruise so they can plan and highlight what show to see.
This is how the flyer looks:
(click to zoom)
It really works and I will be interested to read your views on this as it comes to a ship near you soon.
It’s time for me to go as Calvyn and I are hosting Liar’s Club this afternoon, a fun activity that I hope you get to see one day soon. Following that, I have a conference call with all the senior beards, I mean all of them, as we discuss what works and what improvements we need to make here on Carnival Breeze following this, the end of our second cruise. There have been a lot of changes within Carnival’s senior management these past years and I don’t know everyone in important positions like I used to. You see, some of these new beards don’t know me very well and that means they don’t understand some of my pathetic attempts at humour. This means, I now have to be very careful what I say on these calls because there are new people there who may not appreciate my mostly sarcastic and mostly unfunny wit.
In the past, management would laugh or just say, “Oh, John” and move on. Now, with all the bearded new folks, my humour is not understood and in some cases, I think it isn’t appreciated during calls and meetings. Therefore, I am learning to be more serious………..more corporate ……. and therefore………..more boring………..bugger.
At the start of the blog, I spoke about how not to embarrass your kids on a cruise and of course this was written very much with tongue firmly in cheek. I will say though that I have seen these past years that many younger people in their twenties and thirties are going on a cruise…….with their parents. There are advantages, of course………..it’s cheaper than going on your own…………. it means you’ll always have a babysitter …………….and above all, it’s fun.
I remember the days when my Mum and Dad cruised. I was so proud to have them see me as a CD and we spent the days laughing, watching Dad try every food item on the menu and laughing until we cried. This was the golden period where parents are still young enough to handle the stresses of flying and traveling and you are finally old enough to appreciate just what wonderful parents they are and how cruising with them was the best vacation you have ever had.
They can’t manage flying these days and even two hours to Barcelona is too much. And that makes me so sad. So, let me say this, if you have never cruised with your parents, I urge you to do so……..that golden period doesn’t last long…..why waste it on anyone else?
Goodnight.
Your friend,
John
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
One thing that will absolutely embarrass your family is to participate in the Hairy Chest contest. I am the proud owner of a ship on a stick and a medal that I got the old fashioned way, I earned it. (to paraphrase an old TV commercial)
I wish to point out that I am not the same Lester that called John out on his weight. I am a different Lester that likes to embarrass his kids. I too am a bit cuddly, and it is not my place to tell someone they are too cuddly. I might tell someone to go get a nosh, if they were too boney, but never the other way!
The multiple show thing is very interesting. I worry about the staff though, performing is a lot of hard work, and a third performance in a day is exhausting!
Awesome!
John,
Your wrote in the blog about how not to embarrass your kids on the ship, I couldn’t stop laughing thinking about all those things. Then you spoke about how great it is to cruise with your parents during the “golden times”.. That is SO true. I cruised for the very 1st time, with my sister,my son, and my now husband (who proposed on Half Moon Cay) and most of all my mom. Indeed did she babysit, but the best memories was the fact we laughed so hard and had what truly was the best time. We will for sure cruising again- and I am sure we will bring not only my mom with but his parents too.. thanks John for the smile and laughs with your blogs everything- I look forward to sailing with you and calvyn sometime soon I hope
Jamie
Hi John,
With the new show format on the Breeze will you now post the Funtimes or show schedule ahead of sailing (booked on July 9th cruise)?
also is there anyway to pre-book the Cuccina de Capitano like you can for the 555 Steakhouse?
Thanks!
Jeff
John, been on 4 wonderful Carnival cruises and soon to book the 5th, recently cruised on the Conquest out of New Orleans with a group of 8, which between us had 75+ cruises under our collective belts, concerning the photographs, we group discussed those, and we wonder why and if more money wouldn’t be made if some 5″ x 7″ were sold, while you like most every photo, you don’t always want an 8″ x 10″ of it… TYVM
Would also like to have 5×7 available.
Well, we had a great time embarrassing our kids last week on the Pride…can’t wait to do it again.
With regard to photos…we did purchase our fair share and have no complaints about the photos themselves, HOWEVER…I truly wish you had some sort of online option so that we can go home and look over ALL of them and purchase what we want. A simple swipe of a photo card (does not even have to be the S&S card) can be used to upload them onto a web site where we can get what we want when we want without having to search and try to find all our pictures. It is a very tedious process and discourages purchases for a lot of people. The girl at the photo shop said people did not like the facial recognition thing…but I don’t know about that system. The system of a swipe card is used at theme parks we have been to and is quite effective. I will say, this is the one area of our trip that could have been improved. And it seems rather expensive to print ALL those photos and hope that people purchase them. I suspect that the high cost is because of all the printing expenses. A new online system would be a wonderful improvement!
Printing all those pictures that don’t sell only cost pennies per print and they are more than offset with the fraction that does get purchased. And if Carnival is paid by the recycler, then even better.
I saw the face recognition thing in Carnival Magic last year. They use the image stored in your profile and tied to your S&S card. When you swipe the card the pictures that match your face are shown to you. It mostly works but if you are wearing sunglasses or if your face is not completely shown it won’t work. Most pictures are taken in shore excursions and in open decks where the photographers are just shooting away. They don’t give guests a claim ticket so that guest could order the prints they want. Only those taken in the dining rooms could be made in a more controlled fashion since a large number of guests sit in the same table every evening.
Lester, you are incredibly rude!
When do you think the new bonvoyage online store will be up and running? We cruise Aug 4. I was looking yesterday and saw there were not many items left. And yes I will be traveling with my teens. It was them that I was looking for something to surprise them with. This is a multi celebration cruise for us. Our 20th Anniversary was June 6 and my son’s graduation from 8th from his catholic school next year public.And his Bday Aug 30 and his sistersSeot23. My wonderful husband surprised us with the cruise. I sure hope I don’t embarrass them. But all the kids at school think I am the cool chaperone and want to be in my group so I think I will be okay .
Dear John:
Appreciate your advice regarding parents. I was blessed last year, we had two younger generations, and my mother on the Conquest, and we all had a great time. You are right.
I have a different tack on the weight issue. You and I are what we could call tubby. I have lost weight, then put it back on, then lost, etc. I have come to the conclusion that I will learn how to be healthy as I fight what has become a lifelong battle with the scale. Now I know the twiggy people out there think, shoot, no will power, just eat less, etc. I did quit smoking 25 years ago, that took some will power, when I eat less my body, designed for the famines I think, goes into starvation mode and burns fewer calories until I feel and look like a refugee, I do lose a little weight, but life is no good.
But how to be healthy? Get your blood tested and look at the lipids, have your carotid arteries ultrasounded for wall thickness, and have a calcium test done on your heart. Know where you stand.
If the results indicate some improvement needed, there is a way to improve, but I can’t tell you. Any plaque you have built up can be reduced, not eliminated, but reduced.
Hard to figure why people are down on statins, or for that matter fenn fenn. It killed a few people who took too many so we made it illegal. Why not black box it? Bariatric surgery kills one in two hundred, but it is legal, go figure.
Anyway. Sorry to preach, but get a doctor that can understand that a tubby person can be healthy and live a long life, just with a little help maybe. And do what you are doing, try to stay off of carbohydrates. Eating meat, fish and eggs will not harm you. You will be less hungry if you top up on protein and horrors, some fat.
Now I know the twiggy folks will say hogwash, I eat tofu and green leaves and multigrain cheerios and look at me! Well, the twiggy people have different genetics and different metabolism than you and I, and all the dieting in the world will not change the way our body handles food.
And exercise, did you know about 8 minutes every day of walking at a brisk pace will get your heart what it needs to keep on keeping on? Just don’t sit in one place in your underpants for hours, that is bad. The rest of exercise is to burn calories, but you have to exercise a lot to burn enough calories to put you down to 185, won’t happen, so why anguish over it. 30 minutes of walking per day is good. Once you have lost about 8-10% of your weight, your body shifts gears to save itself and your exercise burns about 40% less calories. Causes a plateau in weight loss.
So, for all those who say, simple, eat less to weigh less, simple math, cut 3500 calories per week, lose one pound, I say, maybe for twiggy, but not for tubby.
Sorry I got up on the soapbox, but think about it, and talk to some doctors until you get one that says, hmmmm, brilliant idea, how to be healthy at double X.
I am not making this stuff up. Get a book called The Tubby Theory From Topeka, this doctor is on to something! You will find the guidelines to live a tubby life. How many obese people keep the weight off after five years? All of the attention given to the obesity, and we haven’t dented it yet.
All the best. I want you to dance at Kye’s wedding, and take that third generation out on a Carnival Fun Ship!
Your Friend
Bill Heck
Bill that sound like a great way to be fit and healthy at a 2X size. I do know that JH has stated that diabetes has played a big role in how he loses weight and wish everyone would understand that each person loses weight differently. When I was losing weight some years ago I was diagnosis with diabetes but since then losing 20# they reversed that diagnosis. So I hope JH does Find the right combo to help him keep losing weight. And what you stated (from the book) looks like a good mix of Normal day activities that JH does (walking decks,etc) He will continue to lose weight at his bodies pace and not some book, pill, tea, or shake mix.
Have a great day Bill.
John,
A note about food not being HOT ENOUGH. We were with you last week on the Carnival Breeze inaugural cruise from Venice to Barcelona. The first night or so we found the soups in particular were luke warm at best when served. Some main dishs were also not really hot enough. We brought this to the attention of many people who were in the positions to look into and quickly fix this problem. Our table waiter Martina, Ken Byrne, MaitreD Chris, Pierre Camille (spalling) ships Food & Beverage Officer and at one point I mentioned it to Shawna (I think) the Carnival lady from Miami who was the company Head Food & Beverage person.
In a day or so the soups were hotter when served and situation was generally better over the following days however this situation happens many times on most all Carnival ships we have sailed on. It is as if the responsible parties get through and correct the initial customer complaint then quit checking to keep enforcing the rules and it happens again and again. This should not continue to happen.
Congrats on the weight loss! Very entertaining, as usual.
Great blog John, and so wonderful to hear you about your time with your girls! I love the new show listing, can’t wait to see it on the Breeze in November!
Most of all I loved your message today about how to sail with your kids lol, and sailing with your parents as a parent yourself…our most precious memory is of the Tropicale, in 2000, her last season out of Tampa. My Dad was failing a little faster and we had an urgency to have a family trip. Mama Floatie was nervous to go out of the country but his doctor cleared him and said go for it, so we did! Omg what a wonderful week and my parents, my sister and bil, and our five teenage kids went cruising!! We lost my Dad the next year and as you know my son passed not long after, so that trip is a precious precious memory that we have relived with so much happiness that we shared that time!
Thank you for sending that message, I hope everyone listens!!
Love you!
still waiting for ur reply for my grandson sailing aug 2nd paradise
John, those things you mentioned about embarassing your kids would not have embarassed my teen daughter. She would love it if I did those things and at times I have done some. The real trick to embarass your kid is to wait until they invite a new friend over and then show them a new hair treatment you just read about and pour syrup over your head.
Hi John,
Last month,May 15, (we had the big tilt upon leaving the channel!) I sailed on the Carnival Glory for the third time. Needless to say, sailing from Norfolk is convenient and I love this ship! This was my fourth cruise with Carnival.
Last year, also in May, we met our bar waiter, Pio from India. He iswhat you would describe as brilliant. Last month upon embarking, I was getting my first meal at the Mongolian Wok. Well, Pio walked by, stopped and said “Tabitha!!! It’s so good to see you!” and gave me a hug. I know it’s not uncommon for crew to remember frequent guests but to remember me by name after a year and thousands of guests just amazed me! Throughout the cruise he took exceptional care of me, knew my preferred beverage, memorized my s&s number, etc. He exemplifies what customer service is and is an absolute asset to Carnival. He definitely deserves to be recognized for being so amazing. I would be inclined to book a cruise just knowing he would be there!
Also, another crew member who was amazing is Elias from the gift shop. He introduced himself and was a definite highlight of this trip. Not only did he personally introduce me to the Captain and Sr. Engineer, he made it a point to speak to me by name regardless of where he saw me.
I’m sorry that I have no complaints which will land me a fruit basket, strawberries, or a ship on a stick. Keep people like Pio and Elias on board and I think I’ll survive without the generous gifts that you graciously bestow upon the whiners.
The entertainment program is positively brilliant (sorry is that a bad word now
)Is there a way that this could be put on the web? It would be great to have this as we plan our excursions restaurant reservations and other plans. (would reduce your facebook replies too.) As platinum cruisers we like to plan our itineraries to the last detail BEFORE we sail so the vacation starts as soon as the sign and sail prints.
John, I cruised with you last summer on Carnival Magic and I remember you telling guests on one of the shows to do just that… go out to the open decks to see the stars. Of course I did it with my girlfriend that night and several other nights of the cruise as well. We also did in our prior cruise. It is just very relaxing to stand by the rails on the upper areas of the ship away from the crowd just enjoying the sea breeze and the sounds of the water. I just wished that the hull lights were not so bright so that we could enjoy better looking at the sky. On sea days I enjoy standing by the railing all the way aft just looking at the wake. Something that can only be enjoyed aboard a cruise ship.
John:
Your last sentence was indeed sage advice.
A few months ago, we cruised to Hawaii with my mother in law and father in law. They are both Platinum with Carnival (as is my brother in law).
We had a marvelous 2 weeks. Upon returning home, my father in law (who is 80 years old) was hospitalized with reprocusions from a blood clot that caused a stroke.
This past weekend, we learned that the physical therapy is not working and that he will never leave the Veterans Hospital.
He and my mother in law have traveled the world, but this family cruise saved the best for last. We are so grateful we had that time together.
We will remember how sweet the wait staff was to always remember his 3 scoops of strawberry ice cream every night for dessert. They could not believe how much this 125 pound man could eat.
Precious memories….
Linda (Mom of your friend DJ)
I love to embarass my son.
From squealing when I ran up to the stage on the first day when I won the raffle, to learning the ‘Thriller’ dance steps on stage next to 50 or so other folks.
He’s learned to just shake his head at me.
John I just have to say how much I agree with you on cruising with your parents. In September, my husband and I will be going on our 10th cruise with my parents. 9 have been with Carnival. My dad is 81 and my mom is 73. I enjoyed my cruises before they started cruising with us, but WOW the joy and the memories of cruising with your parents just can’t be beat. Looking forward to many, many more!
Dear John, I enjoy reading all of your post’s. What you said at the end of today’s is SO important:
“They can’t manage flying these days and even two hours to Barcelona is too much. And that makes me so sad. So, let me say this, if you have never cruised with your parents, I urge you to do so……..that golden period doesn’t last long…..why waste it on anyone else?”
My parent’s cruised in the 1970′s with their friend’s, but I never got the chance to cruise with them. I hope that everyone who’s able will take their parent’s on a cruise. I know it would be a wonderful memory.
John,
First of all let me start out saying how much I love to read your blog and patiently wait for the newest one, so helpful and most of all funny! I am a cruise critic member and love what you do. I sent you a message a few weeks ago about my financial hardships in the past and finally overcoming them and being able to cruise in just a few short weeks, we are cruising on the Fantasy July 15 and I had read somewhere that the Fantasy was one of you r favorite ships. I was curious about your story with the Fantasy and any tips about the boat. Thank you so much John can’t wait to hear from you.
-Dustan tye
Dustan,
If you repost this on Johm’s Facebook page, you will get a response within a few hours.
Hope this helps yu.
Very amusing about parents embarassing their teens.One day Kye will roll her eyes and look at you in disbelief because you said or did something but make no mistake she will always hold a special place in her heart for you and she knows she will always be daddy’s little girl.My daughter is almost 24 and she still has daddy wrapped around her little finger although he won’t admit it.
What a fantastic post today John!! OMG, you had me laughing hysterically when you wrote about what not to do so you don’t embarass your teenage children. My two are 16 and 17 and you are right, and it is so easy and fun (As I am now finding out)to do! You also me me cry (no worries),when you wote about your parents not being able to cruise anymore. It made me sad to think about how my parents have both now passed away, and how much I miss them. So to ALL of you out there who still have your parents, (or at least one of them)I say YES go on that cruise with them, or treat them if you are lucky enough to be able to afford it. Again, wonderful blog post John. Can’t wait to cruise with you and Big Ed’s Crew again in January on BREEZE!
Suefrombrooklyn
I agreee with the parent on a cruise. My hubby has lost both his parents his dad a few months after he grad highschool and his mom a few years ago. My parents are thankfully still with us. They will be 77 & 80 this Nov when we do ThanksGiving on the Magic. My son who will be 17 enjoys sitting around the poolside with my dad and girl watch. And yes my parents can still embaress me and I do my best to embarass my son atleast once a week. Thankyou for all you do and so glad you are getting to spend this time with your girls.
John, the new schedule for entertainment is absolutely brilliant and took away a lot of the stress on our cruise on the Breeze Inaugural. Not worrying about missing a particular show and being able to see it later in the week was wonderful and we missed out on very little.
The inaugural cruise was wonderful. You and Calvyn were hilarious and a delight to be around. Loved the Liar’s club. Loved the Punchliner brunch and comedy club. The ship is absolutely beautiful and I cannot wait to sail on her again. Thank you again for a wonderful cruise–best ever.
For Ted George
FYI the McGuigan Bin 3000 Merlot sells for US$11 in Australia.
In the US he may have to work with a couple of different wine shops. Import rules (even within the US) vary from state to state.
Hi John,
I am thoroughly enjoying reading your blogs at the moment as my husband and I are due to sail on the breeze on the 2nd of August. We are first time cruisers and a little apprehensive of what to expect and protocol but the more I’m reading the more I’m getting excited especially after seeing the flyers you just posted. We are coming away minus the children who have grown up and this is our treat for our 30th wedding anniversary so did think what will we do without them but now have no worries.
Keep up the great work you are doing and thanks for he blog
Elaine Crothers
John, Never mind the beards! WE are the most important part of Carnival, and there are 10s of thousands of us who do appreciate what you do! If any beard has a go point him at me!!!!
We are returning to Carnival after some years (mainly because of an accounting cockup which the beards then took many months to resolve.)
Your blogs and Facebook comments are one reason we want to come back on a Carnival Cruise. We’d love to meet you, you’re a star. As are the UK Carnival office, who have sorted out some problems for us.
Richard
who’s wife was born in Southend!
Great blog, John…We still cruise with my Mom, who will be 85 this August. As a matter of fact, cruise = Mom-Mom as far as my son is concerned; the only cruise she has not done with us was the C. Magic TA…too much for her to fly to Europe. We have 3 cruises booked this year and God willing, she will be right there enjoying the Carnival fun and family time with us. That is what memories are made from!! Mom, we love you!! Dianne
John: Oh so true what you said about enjoying Mom & Dad on a cruise. Mine are no longer with us and I never had the opportunity to cruise with Dad. I did take Mom as a Christmas present one year and she enjoyed it so much. I did treat my kids and thier families last year as a Christmas gift on the Sensation for 4 nights. It was great!
I am going to be on the Ecstasy this October 27th with some very dear old friends. We will be about 50 in our whole group.
Glad your family was with you this trip. Enjoy. You deserve it.
Hello John!
Congrats with keeping your temper with those people giving you “helpful” advice about weight loss! I do know from personal experience that these people usually mean well but what they tell you is garbage. The only person anyone should listen to about serious weight loss is their doctor. My doctor turned me onto a website call Myfitnesspal which helps me keep track of calories, carbs, fat, and protein. No miracle pills, no magic powders, just a convenient way for me to keep up with what I’m putting into my mouth. You keep on plugging away at it! I admire anyone who can lose even 5 pounds while living on a cruise ship since the temptations are EVERYWHERE. That’s the only thing I dread about my upcoming Thanksgiving cruise. I’ve lost 60 pounds so far and hope to have at least 15 more gone by then and unfortunately I LOVE THE BREAD that is served in the dining rooms, lol. Keep up the great work you do and give your little darling a hug everyday she’s young enough to enjoy it.
Susan in the Florida Keys
Eddie Capone is one of the funniest comedians Carnival has! Make sure you keep him! Easily offended people really need to stay out of the comedy club.
John,
It’s hard to ignore someone like Lester Haslett. We seem to run into them all over the world.
He is one of those people whose life is so perfect, children are perfect, home is perfect, job is perfect. He only thinks perfect thoughts, in a perfect way. He shaves perfectly, dresses perfectly, makes love perfectly.
Being so perfect makes him feel he has the right to open his yap and give his perfect opinion anytime…to anyone…anywhere.
These are the annoying ones. They tell you what you should eat, how you should eat, how you should dress, what makeup to wear, what shoes to wear, what church you should go to, what you should believe, what car you should drive…and what politician you should vote for.
At 71, I have learned to IGNORE these folks…absolutely and completely. AND, I have learned to laugh at these pipsqueaks… They are so low on the cultural ladder at a very personal level, you must simply feel sorry for them and find some amusement at a person whose life is so empty he’s given up. But, he’ll give a shot to running yours…even if you haven’t asked.
John, I love this, especially the last bit about cruising with family. I have always cruised with my parents since I was 10 years old, through college even with my Sorority Sisters in tow (which my Dad approved of as they bounced down the beaches, haha) and most recently with my boyfriend and his family. Its an amazing way to bring everyone together in a relaxed environment. I will forever have those memories.
Why is the Welcome Aboard show at 10:00 pm? Could you do two or at least do it earlier?
John I am speaking from the other side of cruising with your parents. I am the parent. Last year (2011) we were fortunate enough to cruise with both our sons and their wives. That was the absolute best cruise out of 8 that we have ever taken. My only prayer now is that some day we can do it again.
Lester Haslett:
People who are pedaling pills are NOT trying to help someone.
In fact, since John is a diabetic (and since they do not know John …they do not know this)…those very pills could do great damage to the very “health” they proclaim to be so concerned about.
What they want to do is MAKE MONEY….period.
John is losing weight slowly and correctly…. and one day he will be at his goal weight.
Sadly on that day, while John has lost the weight….you will still have to live with your rude, jackal behavior that will never change.
Sorry, I will take the weight issue any day!
John,
I live to embarrass my children. It’s time to get back at them for the temper tantrums & general bad behavior they specialized in when it would have the most embarrassing effect. When they object to my behavior, I say to them that it’s just Karma!
JoyceG
Lester you should mind your own business, if John wants advice on how to handle others comments or his weight im sure he will ask, it is not your place to preach or anyone else’s. If I don’t like a TV show I change the channel, same thing goes for live entertainment, Tanya if you don’t like the comedian than leave the room, Im sure the others who stayed would appreciate that fact.
I find the comments from passengers who walk out of the adult comedy shows almost as funny as the shows themselves. There are unending disclaimers about not staying if you are under the age of 18 and easily offended. I am not sure what part of that statement is unclear. That is why they have the family versions. Eddie Capone was, IMHO, the best comedian we have seen to date on our cruises (we only really cruise Carnival and always go to the comedy shows). Eddie makes fun of EVERYONE, including himself. I find it refreshing that in this space we can get rid of the nauseatingly PC world that we have become. Racism IS offensive, but when did we take ourselves so seriously that we can’t laugh at ourselves once in a while. I bet the Polish folks didn’t walk out on the Italian, hispanic and gender jokes. Only a handful of people walked out on the three shows we saw with him. The room was packed every night. Thanks for your excellent policy of letting the comedians have free range! Maybe you could make a special punchliner drink that removes the starch from some people’s underwear! (said with humor and respect)
John, I loved your last paragraph. We will be cruising with my husband’s mother in September – her first cruise (a bucket list item). Can’t wait to spend the quality time with her & ensure she has a blast.
As for the man chiding you about shunning weight loss pills, etc. – good for you! No one should be giving medical advice to anyone else, except a doctor. Even then, only if the person has asked their opinion. I think you’re doing an admirable job, with all the temptation you face in your job.
Keep up the good work, John; as always, thank you for the chuckles.
We had the pleasure of sailing twice with my husband’s family(four generations). The first was my in-laws 50th and the second their 60th. What a difference 10 years makes. So you are so right about enjoying a family cruise when everyone is still active enough to enjoy everything. They say we are going for their 70th. God willing they will be here to celebrate but I don’t see them being able to make another cruise. Tell your beautiful girls hello.
john, people need to understand the concept of time. todays world, with instant communication has no idea of time. People beleive they can just text and every thing will be fine, almost like they can transport themselves to where ever. Then they want to blame someone else for their ignorance of their surroundings. I’m surprised more people don’t miss the ship because of this. Every cruise I have been on has emphatically told passengers that they are to use Ships Time at all times. How hard is that to understand? Not hard at all, but most people now live in their own worlds, where they are the only ones who matter.
Where do you sign up for the FUn Tour on the ship, do you go to guest services or tours on the ship, they usually have 2 lines and I want to make sure I get this when I get on the Fantasy.
Thanks