Alan Adkins, Man of Action

Good Morning.It is 6:30am here and we arrived 45 minutes early this morning in the port of Messina, Sicily. It’s nice to get into a port early which is not always possible but today the Captain had us alongside at 6:20am and once again the sun is shining and it is expected to reach 90 degrees later today.

You can see Mount Etna in the distance and guests will be there exploring as well as many of the passengers heading to Taormina which as I have said many times on this blog thingy is a must see.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s blog thingy, yesterday was a beautiful day and I had nothing but positive remarks from everyone I met and, with the exception of the seat saving concern of Mrs. Hoffman, all was well. I also have started keeping the mini golf course open until 10:00pm as the weather is so nice. I actually went up there last night for a walk before the show with Heidi and there were a dozen or so people playing at 9:30pm-ish which was good to see.

As of yesterday we had 492,400 slaps…………….get ready to break out the Diet Coke as hopefully by next week we will hit the half million mark.

I want to have a chat with you now about singles who cruise. I know yesterday, someone mentioned the cost involved in this but I want to concentrate on what we should do onboard and what are the expectations of single guests.

At this moment, this is what we do on the Carnival Freedom and I believe this is similar on other ships in our fleet as well.

1. We hold three singles gatherings on the first full day of the cruise (after sailing from Naples).

18 – 30 singles in the Dance Club………………..This features a quick 10 minute fun game and then we have what we call “singles corner” where people of that age are invited to sit with each other and make new friends.

30-something singles in the Piano Bar………………..This features our excellent Piano Bar entertainer Ron who introduces singles to each other on the microphone and hosts a fun singles get together.

Mature singles meet in the Swingtime……………..This is hosted by our duo John and Diane and features an invitation for singles to meet and dance.

The toughest group is without doubt………………….the 18 – 30’s. This may surprise you but recently I have received letters, not from the young people themselves but from parents who say their kids are having problems meeting new friends. Now, usually this means that they are shy and may need help but as much as we try, there are times when we do have people of college age who find it difficult to meet new friends.

Therefore, this week (tonight in fact) we are going to re-introduce FAST FRIENDS which is our version of Speed Dating. I tried this last year and it was very popular so back it comes. Normally, I would do this at the start of the cruise but as I have had some comments from parents that their teens (18 – 20) cannot meet new friends, I think it is time to try this again.

If you are not familiar with Speed Dating then give it a Google and you will see what it is all about. I will slap on a review of how this goes on the next blog.

Finally, what do singles expect? Let me know where we can improve please.

Here are today’s photos which are the last from this week’s trip to Venice and taken by Jamie, our Entertainment Host, from her gondola trip.

1. THE GONDOLA PORTION OF THE ST.GEORGES, MURANO AND GONDOLA TOUR TAKEN AT CANAL NUMBER 5

2. HEADING TOWARDS THE GRAND CANAL

3. THE FUNNEL OF THE SHIP’S FUNNEL IN VENICE

Here are today’s letters for the “IN THEIR OWN WORDS” section which today, features KIDS CORNER and the lovely drawings that were made for me and the enchanting Camille Jones who feels that, at eight years old, she should be allowed to leave Camp Carnival without having her parents collect her……..she is quite the character.

Q and A time so hold on tight.

THELMA CAMERON – I will be happy to make a Supper club reservation for you, I just need the day you want the table, how many for and at what time and if you have it your cabin number please. Let me know and I will reserve as requested. Thanks and hope to hear from you very soon.
RIKKI BOYCE – The Ferengi Book of Acquisition, now there’s something worth reading especially if it contains your personal notes. I look forward to talking “Trek” with you when you sail. Make it so.
BIG ED – I am sure she will be reading the comments herself which is why, I cannot comment mate. How are you? I see you signed yourself as OFFICIAL ASSISTANT TO THE CRUISE DIRECTOR. If that is the case then I really need my official Assistant on the Bloggers cruise otherwise I won’t manage. What do you say?
I wish you were the mystery guest on the Bloggers cruise, in fact, I wish it was not a mystery at all and that you were indeed sailing on the Bloggers cruise. I did get your note from Roberto and he should have sent you my reply by now. Please let me know if you need anything. A Bloggers cruise without Big Ed is like a day without sunshine.
GIRLDOC – Consider Jtoddinman “leaned on” as requested. She has to sail on the South American cruise as will need extra entertainment. An evening of beautiful poetry about me and Big Ed’s underwear will have the people glued to their seats………………because we will have put glue on the seats.
Anyway, I know she will have read this and if further “leaning” is needed I can send the boys round.
Hope all is well, Doc, and hope you are enjoying the blog thingy.
DORTHE CALIMBAS – Thank you, maybe it was a sign to stop smoking! Hope you are well and thanks as always for your kind support of the blog.
DEBBIE IN LOUISIANA – I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed your Carnival Freedom cruise so much and welcome back home. You used the word “amazing” to describe your cruise vacation which is music to my ears.
You said you miss the chocolate melting cake. Did you see the photo and recipe yesterday? Hopefully, trying to make it yourself will take away some of the post cruise blues. Please keep reading the blog thingy and hopefully this will help as well.
DWA76 – I remember hearing Mozart’s Piano Concerto number 21 the first time during a James Bond movie no less. I can’t remember which one but I think it is The Spy Who Loved Me. The music was played as the underwater laboratory rose out of the ocean……………I think. Anyway, it is the most beautiful of his Concertos and is often called Elvira Madigan and listening to it in St.Marks Square enhances Mozart’s genius even more. You really do meet all kinds of people in this job and that is what makes it so interesting although frustrating at times. I really have to stop with the French jokes though as we have 143 off them next week………..still, at least we will save water……………..STOP IT JOHN.
Thanks mate for your kind words and hope to see you soon.
LEASA – Lisa, I would not inflict being in the same room as me after eating sugar free jelly beans upon my worst enemy……………..actually, I don’t think I have a worse enemy………………ok, maybe the French. ………….Anyway, my personal jetpack has no fuel and I am hoping that a blogger out there on the world weird web thing will think of me and refuel my tanks ready for the adventures ahead. Thank you so much for your sincere words and I hope you and your family are all well.
ADIAS.ANGEL – Carla, Europe is no busier than any other place during July and August which is when most of the world seems to take vacations, especially those with children as school is over. There is NO bad time to take a cruise especially here in Europe but yes, some places like the Vatican, Capri etc are very populated during these peak times. If you are sailing with kids yourself then they may want to meet new friends so July and August may the best for the family. Certainly, September is a little quieter at the major attractions but places like the Vatican are always going to be busy.
As far as which itinerary to take, the Grand Med or Greece/ Turkey, wow, that’s a tough one. Both have their uniqueness and I think that is a choice that only you can make. In my opinion, if you have never been to Europe before though, I think maybe the Grand Med cruise may be the one to start with. I hope this has helped if only a little and let me know please if I can help further.
VIKKI AND MATT – I have no words except thank you……………..my mum and dad read it and wanted to say the same……….thanks again my friends.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – Thank you so much for posting the cutting thing from Anita Dunham-Potter’s review of her Carnival Freedom cruise. I had not read it yet and I am full of pride about what she wrote about me so thank you for the uplifting start to the day especially as it is 7:10am here. It truly was a joy to have her sail with us and her kids are just delightful as well.
You asked if guests who sail in Europe are any different from those who sail in the Caribbean. I am not sure – is the honest answer. I think though that when you put 3400 people anywhere, a ship, a hotel, or even just shopping in a mall you are going to get those who are naturally happy people and a very small few who are not and will find fault easier than most. I certainly do know that 99.9% of guests who sail with us in Europe leave with a smile bigger then the ship itself and that is true in the Caribbean and other destinations as well.
I guess I am writing a lot about the guests who do find fault in our product maybe a little too much but I really want this blog to be “real” and, if I just highlighted the happy guests, each blog would be the same because, as I said, it is less than 1% that don’t leave the ship thinking they just had the times of their lives. Thanks Carol for giving me the opportunity to write these words and, as always, I wish you well.
A CRUISE BY ANY OTHER NAME – Bugger, I am so sorry, I have no idea what led me to believe you were a SHE and now you reveal that you are a HE………OOPS, please forgive me although, like my friend Alan Adkins, I see that you do “dress up” in your private time. Now I understand what you mean by captions. Yes, I must do that and starting with today’s blog I will make sure this is done and my apologies for my tardiness with this project. I hope you are well and again, sorry for calling you a Mrs.!
Here is the breakdown of the children’s ages we have sailing this cruise as you requested.

under 21				160
16 to 18				463
12 to 15				281
9 to 11				118
6 to 8				72
2 to 5				34
Under 2				6
			Total	1134

At this point we must congratulate our Camp Carnival and Club O2 staff for doing such a great job keeping the kids entertained and assuring they have a wonderful and fun time onboard.
IVANA – Thank you for buying a t-shirt and please let me know the stories about people who ask you who I am and what is so special about my thingy. They are very popular and I can’t imagine why. Even our Director of Public Relations is wearing one and says it’s her new favorite fashion item.
Thank you again for always supporting the blog and I appreciate your kind words so very much.
NANETTEALI – Yep, the G-string you found in the cabin was mine. I know it was size small but it used to be large, I think my bottom ate it! You asked what grande besimmier means……….you need to learn Spanish………….it means “I Send You A Big Kiss” AND NOW YOU GET A GRANDE HUGO as well.
VIKKI – I forgot, what are you applauding me for?
ANITA DUNHAM-POTTER – I read your report and review which as always is worthy of a Pulitzer Prize. I really agree with your girls’ comments about the younger kids not being happy to be in the same room as the smaller children. I am very aware of this and here this comment each cruise and that is why I know there are plans in motion to change this system ASAP. Talking of your girls, Heidi has asked to make sure you are bringing them on the Bloggers cruise in January so she can “hang out” with them in the arcade again. They really are GEMS and you must be very proud of them. Thank you so much for the kind words and I look forward very much to the next time we meet.
FREEDY BEACH – I have seen the British version of Airline which is shot at Heathrow Airport and yes, travel brings out the best and worst in us all. Let me answer your questions mate.
1. Your Supper Club Reservation has been made as requested………………………try the Veal Chop
2. Enjoy your dinner at Harry’s. There is a dress code of elegant casual which means no jeans, shorts, t shirts etc and no open sandals for the men. You will need to take oxygen with you though as for some strange reason breathing becomes difficult when the bill comes.
3. The vaporettos run every 15 minutes up until midnight and after that on the hour every hour. Water private taxis are available all the time and dock right outside Harry’s itself. It will be an expensive night but one you will never forget.
The gangway is open all night and therefore you can come back to the ship after you have robbed a bank in order to pay the bill. I hope this answers your questions and I remain at your service.
HELLO HOLLAND – How are you in Arnhem. I am glad you know now what a scrapbook ( veredeld fotoboek) is so hopefully you now realize why they are so popular in the USA and Canada………….are they popular there? You also mentioned about your son working on board the ships. I suggest he sends his C.V. (resume) to: Paul Shea, Beverage Director, Carnival Cruise Lines, 3655 N.W. 87^th Avenue, Miami, Florida 33178. I am sure he will be successful as he seems to have lots of experience. Please let me know how it goes and I will let the office know to expect to hear from you soon. Thank you also for the invitation to go to Arnhem and if indeed we come to your beautiful town we will come for coffee and a frickendel. Dooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
LOIS GREBOWSKI – Indeed, life is all about that and thank you so much for reminding me………..sometimes I do forget. Hope all is well with you and please keep reading the blog thingy.
KATHIE – I need more jelly beans for my personal jetpack, can you help? Thank you also for mentioning the improvements in the service provided in Dubrovnik. I finally feel comfortable with what we did and, as of the time of writing this blog, I have received no negative comments to say otherwise. I still have much work to do in Venice and hopefully the shuttle service we provide there will get better and we can do this only with the help of our Venetian operators whom we work very close with.
Big Ed is not going to be the mystery guest on the Bloggers cruise but hopefully he will be there and the mystery guest will remain a mystery for now. Have a great day and enjoy the blog.
KICKIASKI – Hello Linda and Hello George. All I can say after reading your comments is that you both should be role models for people who cruise. After spending 24 days onboard as you just did you had the right more than anyone to find things to be negative about. But your constant smiles I saw every time I looked out into the lounge or on deck showed me two people who loved cruising and each other. Long may it continue.
FRANKC – Congratulations on owning the fantastic Porsche Boxster. I drove my friend Danny’s last year and wow, that is a great car with handling only a Porsche can provide. Please make sure you leave me a note as soon as you arrive as I need to say thank you in kind for sending me the root beer. Please tell your family that there are going to be many special memories ahead and I hope to share in some of them with you all. Thanks again for the kind gift that I await for with much anticipation. See you very soon mate.
NATES MOM – Thank you………………….Your daughters are very lucky to have a Mum like you.
DAYLE WITH A D – hello to you in beautiful British Colombia, Canada which, by the way, I have never been to but will one day – I am sure, as it’s on my list of places to visit. I am glad to see you are so excited about your forthcoming cruise and thank you for your kind words of support as well. Please make sure you let me know when you are here and if you have any questions beforehand, please let me know. Hope the weather is fine in your part of the world and my best to you and your family.
SUSETTE LOEWENSTEIN – I understand completely Susette and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us all. People who work in public service sectors are brave people these days and that’s why I always try to understand both sides of the story before passing judgment as that what was Mum and Dad taught me. Anyway, I am very grateful to you and I hope that you continue to enjoy the blog thingy.
SOUTHERN DREAMS – I love the small American towns like Podunk and Cave Springs. They take me back to the Dukes of Hazard and Roscoe P Coltrane. The sugar free jelly beans do have a few carbs but not many and any carbs they do have are quickly expelled through my personal jet pack which at the moment is dormant……….can you help? I am aware of the problems that sugar free candies can cause (as is my Dad – just ask my Mum about Xmas Day when Dad and I both eat sugar free candies together)! However, the beans turn……………..ummmmmmmmmm………..to a gracious form……….before .ummmmmmmmmmmm liquid or any other. Good for me but not for those around me. Hope you and Charlie are well and one day we will come and visit you in small town USA.
JTODDINMAN – THE POET LAUREATE – A poem the Bard would have been proud of. Thank you for your verse and maybe I can commission you to write one about my jelly beans and my jetpack…………what do you think? Thanks for being so much fun.
BRYAN – In the interest of Anglo-French relations there will be no more French jokes although did you see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It’s never been shot and only dropped once!…………………..Stop it John !……………..That’s me on the naughty step then.
CAPTAIN CHUCK – Very Funny Shawn will be there and I hope you remind me the week before you sail so I can put something in your cabin. My best wishes as always to you and the family.

And that’s the Q and A for today………….more tomorrow.

The blog is rapidly becoming a cooking blog because here, as requested, is the recipe that someone asked for – the Wild Mushroom Soup. Luckily, for this one I did not need PA 007 because PA is at a train spotters convention. Here it is.

Mushroom Cream Soup
Ingredients:
Brandy Domet Napoleon – 0.75 qt.
Vegetable, Mushroom Medley – 20 oz.
Margarine, Solids – 4 lbs.
Milk, Half/Half (5 gal) – 40 qt
Milk, Heavy Cream – 4 qt
Mushrooms, Fresh (chopped) – 20 lbs.
Mushroom, Porcini/Italian – 48 oz.
Onions, Yellow – 20 lbs.
Porcini Powder – 48 oz.
Minor Base, Mushroom – 32 oz.
Bay leaves, 0.25 oz.
Chicken Stock, white – 60 qt.
Roux – 10 lbs.

Procedure:
Wash and chop fresh mushrooms coarsely. Soak porcini mushrooms for 3 hours, drain (reserve the liquid) and chop. Melt margarine, saute onions and garlic until transparent. Add bay leaves and all mushrooms. Saute for a few minutes. Add porcini powder and brady. Bring chicken stock, the soaking liquid, the bases and half & half to boil; add the pale roux under continuous stirring. Simer for 60 minnutes and add the mushrooms. Simmer for 30 minutes more. Adjsut seasoning and finish with the heavy cream.

Yields per recipe: 800 servings.

Next week my mate Alan Adkins will be sailing with his family so I thought it may be interesting (and very brave of me) to allow PA 007 to put a few questions to Alan……………I have not edited the answers in any way shape or form so…………….here then is a Q and A session hosted by PA 007 with Alan Adkins …….oh boy, am in for it now.

1.What is your earliest memory of meeting John? John and I met through a mutual friend at high school. I thought he was a bit strange back then. He was always the life and soul of the party but he got on my nerves back then and still does now.

2.You are a man of mystery as John never really will answer the question about what you do for a living. We know you work for the British Coastguard but what is your full time job or do you just spend all your time, as John says, at the Cliff Bar in your home town? I cannot talk about this. No one at the Cliff knows about what I do and, like PA 007, I must remain a man of mystery.

3.It seems that during your friendship, you and John had very little success with the girls. Why do you think that is? It all depends on your definition of success really. I was very successful, since my definition, as a teenager, included, any slight interaction, however meager, with as many attractive girls as possible. John was very unsuccessful since his definition included entertaining girls at Alan’s expense and trying to make him look like a burk (English for idiot), which he could never do. It may also be that we were very close and some of the female population may have thought we were more than best friends. I blame John for this of course.

4.John has told many stories about your teenage years, here is your chance to tell us one about John. I had so much to choose from with this question but decided to go with the time John and I offered a lift to two girls outside of a nightclub. John was 17 and I was 18 and had just bought a new car called a Ford Capri. I thought I was Michael Schumacher as we drove around Southend, our home town. The night had not gone well and, as usual, thanks to John, we had no girls with us in the car. The last resort was to cruise past the nightclubs at 1:00am to see who was coming out. We did so at a Club called Benders and there, as we pulled up, were what we thought were two beautiful girls. John asked if they wanted a ride and they said yes. The car only had two doors so John got out and the girls got in the back seat. As soon as they did it was obvious that they were both very drunk and even though our standards were very low, these girls up close looked like they had fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. One of the girls kept saying she wanted to drive the car as we drove on the way to where they lived which was 20 miles away. Obviously, she was in no fit state to drive. After 5 minutes they really began to get on our nerves and to be honest, one of them smelled pretty bad as well. We realized that as desperate as we both were these girls were never going to be on our Christmas card list so I devised a cunning plan. I pretended to stall the car and pulled over to the side of the road. John looked at me and he was on the same wave length as we often were. I said to the girls in the back that I was having problems with the electrics and that if they helped push the car then she could have a drive. John let the girls out and asked them to go to the back and push. I was in the driving seat and John was pushing by the passenger door (note, as the girls got out, one of them let out a sound that John is familiar with after eating his sugar free candy – that would have been John’s girl by the way).

The girls pushed the car as did John and suddenly I revved the car, John jumped in and we sped of leaving two very drunk and smelly and now pissed off girls standing in the road two miles from home.

John and I were very happy at our success even though the night had ended as every other night, with me alone with John in the car. Our ecstasy was short lived when John noticed the girl’s handbags in the back seat. We were now thiefs. I turned the car around and headed back towards the girls and was going to slow down so John could pass the bags, however, fearing they would not be too pleased John did not wait until the car slowed down and threw the bags out of the window. Make-up, lipstick and the usual thousands of items that women keep in their handbags flew in the air and did kangaroo impressions down the road. We drove away feeling very guilty and went to look for more girls.

5.On to cruising. How many cruises have you been on? Loads, but not enough yet.

6.Which are the top three favorite ports you have visited and I see John mentioned that you had your honeymoon on a Carnival ship. Did John play any jokes on you or get you in trouble? Cozumel, Grand Cayman, Cannes & Venice. Yes he did. He got me into trouble all the time. Mainly because whenever it was his round he ensured my drink had 151% vodka in it. My honeymoon was ruined and it was a year before the invention of Viagra. My wife was not pleased.

7.Apart from the fact that John probably pays, what is it that you and your family love about cruising ? John’s Sail &Sign card.

8. John was allowed to ask you one question and he has chosen this: Who is Sandra S. and what happened. This is one that we are both not proud of and John, even today, feels very guilty about. John was working in the city and when I used to call him on the phone this beautiful sounding girl would answer and I ended up talking to her more than John. I made the mistake if asking John if she was cute and he said yes and I trusted him. That was a mistake considering we spent our entire friendship playing jokes on each other but this one got right past me. I asked John if he could set up a date for us and he said: “YES, she will be perfect for you, She is your type of girl.” This should have set off alarm bells but it did not. There I was then, waiting for her outside of a local pub, close to where she lived and as she arrived I knew what John had meant about her being perfect for me because she was sight impaired. Sandra, me and her guide dog Melissa spent a lovely afternoon in the pub. She really was a great girl and John really thought that if a girl could not see me, then I would have a chance but it never worked out. I did get him back a year later when I sent Valentine’s cards to 3 or 4 girls he really liked with really rude messages in them and his signature, one of which earnt him a slap in the face in public in the Cliff Pub. As I said, we are not proud of what we did as teenagers and it is all John’s fault.

9. Why do you think the blog is so popular and how does it feel to be so well known internationally? I have no idea and am completely baffled as he is untalented, ugly and slightly FEMINATE.

10. I told John that you must be given one more chance to tell a tale about him and to give you a subject . After much persuasion he has mentioned these words….The holiday in Spain and mad French father………..tell all please. The holiday in Majorca, summer 1986, is full of John stories. The mad French father was sharing a family holiday with his wife and only daughter, Nadine. John thought Nadine was attractive. Nadine couldn’t tell us what she thought because she was French and we didn’t have a clue what she was saying. Anyway, during the day we would lay in the sun by the pool sleeping off our hangovers (John drank gin and lemonade back then). And during this time John would slowly shuffle his deckchair over towards this French girl. This clearly annoyed her father, who was nearby, because I could recognize it in French across his face. What upset him even more was when he saw me in the hotel bar with his daughter’s friend that evening, who informed him that ‘the other English guy is not here.’ How the father guessed where John was is a total mystery. If only we had cell phones back then – I could have warned John that mad French father was storming towards him and Nadine together in her room. As it happened John was only having the kind of success mentioned earlier in question 3, but Nadine’s father wasn’t to know that. The hotel room door knew all about it though as it was kicked off its hinges. John never tried to speak to Nadine again. And here we have yet again another example of how John’s actions, through his total lack of awareness ended my holiday romance with Nadine’s friend. Because Nadine, now bereft of John scampering around her ankles all day, sought entertainment from her French mate, Bridgette who could not divide the time between the two of us and that was that. So yet again it was me who lost out. Thanks John.

Here is a photo of Alan on special operations (he is in the sun glasses) with the UK Coastguard with his two friends ( from the Cliff Pub ) and Coastguard colleagues Paul Williams and Paul Nichols taken this weekend during the floods in the UK.

Don’t tell him, but secretly I am very proud of the work his Thames Safety Boat Crew do each and every day. He has been a great friend and if it were not for him I would not be happily married today. This is because he could not come on the trip to Amsterdam and if he had, I am sure Heidi would never had spoken to me and it would have been just me, Alan and a bunch of tulips.

Tonight, I have the talent show but first it’s off to Stromboli so time to go to the bridge.

Goodnight

Your friends

John, Heidi and, tonight, Alan.