The Winter Olympics are well under way and it has been the ice hockey that has been the most watched on the Carnival Sunshine’s Lido Seaside Theater big screen. Interestingly, it has been the Canadian guests who seem to be the most patriotic. There are not many of them here, only 181 out of over 3,000 guests but those 181 are all wearing the maple leaf shirts and are extremely patriotic, it seems. (more…)

Let’s start with this today:

 

Jim Brunswick

I wanted you to read this thread made on Cruise Critic made by Carnival’s top cheerleader.

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1907764

 

My point of concern is that you will see a message from Pine Bluff who states that “the crew does not like you” that I think you need to address and have the right to reply to. Care to comment because this is a serious allegation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (more…)

So I am back from my trip to New York and, as always, it is a city like no other. New York is totally extraordinary. The whole city seems so diverse, from the mix of culture to the brilliant people, places, bars, restaurants, architecture, the men and the women…. everybody is different, everyone is loud and everyone is in a hurry. New York is simply…….wow. I have never seen a city with more restaurants than New York. I can only imagine that no one cooks in Manhattan and that if I were to go and inspect apartments and houses in New York City and examine the cookers in these homes, the very vast majority would still have the instructions inside and they have never been used. (more…)

EDUCATING HOTELS

October 28, 2013 -

John Heald -

73 Comments

 I took my daughter Kye to school for the first time last week. She is only four. The process, though, has started. It was both heartbreaking and sort of exciting to walk Kye up the path to a place where I would leave her behind from 9 am – 3 pm…..but, ultimately, forever as she starts to make her way in the world under the guidance of Miss Newman, Mr. Barton and, indeed, guidance other than that of my wife Heidi and I. (more…)

BOOK………………ENDS.

September 27, 2013 -

John Heald -

30 Comments

So here we are, three days into the trans-Atlantic crossing, and we will be talking a lot about this over the next few days here and on Facebook, I am sure. And today I want to start by talking about books. Now I have done ummmm……….ummmmm……..bugger me………..I have no idea how many TA’s I have done but it’s a heck of a lot. Some, I don’t remember, some I do.  There was one on Carnival Freedom where I was tormented by one guest who looked like Rodney Dangerfield, one on Carnival Liberty with a huge GI outbreak that certainly wasn’t fun, and one on the Carnival Splendor that was amazing because we had 16 days of glass-like water as we crossed the pond, it literally was…….. a pond. (more…)

The Hangover………before the TA

September 23, 2013 -

John Heald -

39 Comments

 

“We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” Good morning. It’s 8:35 am here as I begin to write this part of today’s blog. My morning started with a visit to the coffee shop before I hosted the Morning Show and that’s when I met a guest who, through half-closed eyes and the complexion of a bullfrog, said these words, “We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” (more…)

MICHELLE – COULD YOU DO WHAT SHE DOES?

September 17, 2013 -

John Heald -

37 Comments

 I started to give up caring what clothes I wore and about fashion as I gradually got fatter during my late twenties, in the same way I gave up on nightclubs, ever seeing my gentleman’s sausage again without the help of a mirror, or downing tequila shots at Carlos and Charlie’s with Calvyn in Cozumel. Even as a kid, I didn’t care and the only time I did care about clothes was during my single and thin twenties when I thought clothes could get me some rumpy pumpy. This proved to be bollocks because you can’t polish a turd……..if you get my meaning. As a cruise director, though, I have to look smart…..ish. My usual attire is a blue blazer, open-neck shirts and nicely pressed trousers and mostly clean underpants. Comfortable shoes are also a must for me. (more…)

From: LEGEND GUEST SERVICES SUPERVISOR
Sent:  Wednesday, September 04, 2013 11:32 AM
To: LEGEND CRUISE DIRECTOR
Cc:  LEGEND GUEST SERVICES; LEGEND GUEST SERVICES MANAGER

Subject: **** – Mr. ———— – comments on internet for Cruise Director

 

Hello John,

Mr. ______- wishes to speak to you regarding the following Internet speed – guest is very unhappy with this as he states he has a very important business deal to complete which now he cannot. He has asked for higher speed and free use of the internet because he says we may have lost his business deal for him. Guest also states he has other things that he is not happy with and wants to discuss today with you. Please can you contact him when you can? Thank you and kind regards.

Guest Services Supervisor

Carnival Legend

 

(more…)

THE LIDO DECK DIET

August 29, 2013 -

John Heald -

35 Comments

 If you are Johnny Depp or Russell Crowe or some moody famous person and someone disturbs your meal by saying, “I don’t mean to bother you,” you can tell them to bugger off. The most that will happen is that the person will never watch one of their movies again. Now, I can’t do that. If someone disturbs my meal with the usual, “Don’t mean to bother you,” then, despite the fact that there are times that I want to say, “Can you come back after I have finished shoving a huge fork full of beef in black bean sauce down my throat?,” I can’t. That’s because the guest will write to Gerry Cahill and request I be tied down onto the deck, naked, and a box of hungry escargot’s emptied over my dangly bits. (more…)

 

“It’s too loud — are you trying to kill people in there?”……..and with that a very upset elderly British lady waved her hand in my face as I tried to talk to her and stomped out of the lounge. Hello, everyone, from a beautiful morning here in St. Petersburg, Russia. Yep, that lady I just told you about was not happy and I did my best to appease her and followed her down Promenade Deck away from the show room trying to apologise, trying to get her to talk to me. But her British lip was stiff and defiantly in the upright position and she waved me away again like she was swatting a mosquito with a rolled up newspaper. (more…)

Copyright 2011 John Heald. All Rights Reserved

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