• Disclaimer

    This is a personal weblog. The views and opinions expressed here represent my own (and those of some of the commentators that I have included) and not those of Carnival Corporation & plc or Heidi. This blog has no official affiliation with Sugar free jelly beans.
  • Recent Updates

  • Cruise Director Schedule Jan-June 2010

    Click here to view the cruise director schedule through June 2010.
  • Recent Blog Comments

    Bill (Zydecocruiser)… on Dive?…..My Arse
    Nicola McCormick on Dive?…..My Arse
    Beth Flynn on Dive?…..My Arse
  • Calendar

    March 2010
    S M T W T F S
    « Feb    
     123456
    78910111213
    14151617181920
    21222324252627
    28293031  
  • Archives

Kentucky Fried Medicine

And so it begins…
Guest: Mrs. ______ Ref: 846006032A
Cabin: ___ Booking#: ______ Added-Changed: 03/07/10 – 03/07/10
GUESTS WANTS THE OSCARS ON THE GIANT SCREEN
Mrs._____ said that she had read the Capers but had not seen the Oscars being shown tonight. Guest said that she had been promised by her travel agent that this would be shown. Guest [...]

Queen Victoria…King Peter…Sorry, Tiger

So the whole world watched as Tiger Woods went before a carefully selected group of friends, family and friendly press and poured his heart out to the world. Good then that we were here, sailing the Caribbean and nobody gave a bugger about a man and his wandering thingy……………..actually.

Remembering How To Be A Cruise Director

On Friday I opened my e mails to find out that along with the offer of a bigger penis that I had received an e-mail from a very generous chap in Nigeria asking if I could help him transfer £28 million from his late father’s account into a bank in my home town of Southend [...]

M.I.C…..K.E.Y……O.U.S.O.B

Flying on my birthday was about as much fun as rectal surgery but despite the fact that I was seated next to a man whose feet smelt like a piece of cheese that had been fermenting in Dwyane Wade’s jockstrap………….. Here I am on your Carnival Dream.