My Facebook page is growing by the day and I am doing my best to keep on top of it, but I am not worried as soon help will be on the way. Soon, some of the other cruise directors will be getting Facebook pages. The beards have not decided who yet, but some will and you will be able to get in touch with them. Now how they use it will be up to them but it will mean that they will lose some of the time that they spend doing other things like have a life, rumpy pumpy and anything that doesn’t involve sitting in front of a computer in their underpants. (more…)
I wrote on Facebook the other day about how the noise flip flops make really makes my hemorrhoids flare up. So add to that finger wag that people do when they can’t be asked to come over to you and expect you to walk to them like a subservient dog. I saw that some others had listed cold callers as their most annoying thing yet surprising nobody mentioned noisy eaters. How can cold callers be more annoying than noisy eaters? You can slam down the phone on a cold caller and listen, to some beautiful silence. But are you allowed to stab a loud eater in the eye with a fork and tell them to shut up? No. You’re expected not to notice while they chomp away like a human blender.
Here are some other things that annoy me:
The Cloud 9 Spa here on your Carnival Magic has some very interesting treatment options for our guests, including acupuncture which I truly believe helped my Bells Palsy back in 2009, along with teeth whitening and various massage therapies, etc. It’s no wonder that the booking columns are busy each and every day and no wonder our Spa Manager Mia has a smile as wide as my underpants. (more…)
This morning I received two phone calls and this e mail all on the same subject.
From: MAGIC GUEST SERVICES
Sent: Thursday, May 19, 2011 11:11 AM
To: MAGIC ASSISTANT CRUISE DIRECTOR; MAGIC CRUISE DIRECTOR
Cc: MAGIC ENTERTAINMENT TECHNICAL MANAGER; MAGIC ENTERTAINMENT TECH; MAGIC GUEST SERVICES MANAGER; MAGIC GUEST SERVICES; MAGIC GUEST SERVICES SUPERVISORSubject: 8367 – NOT HAPPY WITH SHOW BEING PLAYED AT THIS TIME ON SEASIDE THEATRE
Oh joy. It’s Wednesday which means at 2 pm I, as a crew member over 40 have to go to see the ship’s doctor for something called a wellness check. This is a mandatory Carnival procedure and despite the fact that just last month and I had a complete medical at home with Doctor Ramitin, I have to have another one here on board. Yep, I am old and so the doctor has to see me and take my blood pressure and check for diabetes (bit late for that) and check my heart and other stuff to make sure that I am well. I know it will be a simple procedure compared to my medical at home but I am a man …………………..and that means I hate going to see a doctor.
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Last night Heidi and I watched a movie. It was probably the wrong movie to watch before bedtime but I had spent 7 straight hours at the computer Facebooking, blogging and paper working so a movie seemed the right medicine to take my mind of everything. The movie we chose was 127 Hours. It was an OK movie I guess but sitting there I felt a little bit weird waiting for the film’s one interesting scene where the ridiculously good looking climber hacks off his arm with a Swiss Army penknife. It was a bit like watching Basic Instinct only for the bit where Sharon Stone crosses her legs revealing for a nanosecond the sight of her lady garden.
I truly don’t like coconut. I haven’t since I was a child. And I hate it or anything with coconut in it. I’d rather lick the back end of a camel……..then eat coconut. I don’t like prunes, either. Or Simon Cowell. I know that he has a pancreas and a thingy and all the other things that qualify him to be classified as a member of the human race but he makes my hemorrhoids flare up, and I find myself hoping that just once one of his TV shows will have lower ratings than American Monk, Vow of Silence.
Bugger! Me and my massive tunnel sized mouth which has yet again made me a resident of S**t Street.
You may remember how a few months ago, in a moment of girly weakness I asked Heidi if there was anything special she would like to do when I got home from the Carnival Splendor. I realised as soon as I had asked the question that I was going to be in trouble and hoped I would get away with something like a romantic dinner at an overpriced restaurant that serves bits of food stacked on top of each other and with a sauce that is drizzled.
Good morning everyone, this is Heidi and for those of you who are new to the blog thingy, I am John’s wife and John’s donkey. I will tell you what I mean in a minute but I wanted to say a very big thank you for your kindness and all the presents you have sent to Kye from the Bloggers Cruise. She loves all her Barney things and I love it because she loves it and Barney loves her and I love it even more because anything purple now drives my loving husband absolutely crazy so thank you everyone and I know I will see many of you on the Carnival Magic this year.
When you have been sitting next to a woman on a plane for 8 hours who is wearing so much perfume that your lungs are on fire, and the stench of her Camel Scrotum Number 5 is flooding into your eyes and just when it can’t get any worse a ladies voice belonging to senior flight attendant called Darren, tells you that the planes in flight entertainment system works less than Charlie Sheen……then eight hours is like 700 years.
