For those people who say that my blog is based around toilet humour………..today you would be correct. And after yesterday’s blog about my little Kye being sick………….she is fine now by the way…..the last thing you needed to read this morning is stuff about my bottom. So for those who would rather not may I direct you to a far more grown up blogs……….here are the link thingies.
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There have been quite a few changes during the four months I was away from home. My daughter has learnt to say important words like “Dada” which is amazing and “poo” which is even more so. There have also been changes in our house thanks to Heidi doing her impression of a merchant banker and spending money we don’t have by having a new kitchen fitted and replacing the whole way we watch TV.
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Let’s talk about tips.

Guest: Mr. ———–Ref: 802012819A
Cabin: ——- Booking#: ______Added-Changed: 05/27/10 – 05/27/10

C -  – GUEST REMOVED ALL GRATUITIES

Mr.____ came to the GSD to request that the gratuities for he and wife be taken from his S & S card. GSA asked if there had been a problem with the service and guest said that he did not feel that it had been good. GSA asked for more information on this but guest said he did have time and to take off the gratuities immediately.

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My broken little toe has been really hurting and causing me to cry like an Oscar winner. So last night while I was answering today’s questions I decided to give in and take two of the pain killers that the ship’s Doctor has prescribed. Now, the last question I started to answer before I went to bed was this one.
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As it was in Galveston and my time on the Carnival Conquest, the incident report of complaints here on the Carnival Fantasy has about as many pages as a book entitled “Great French Military Victories.” These guests do not seem to find much to complain about……………..well most don’t.
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Please forgive me if the start of today’s blog is ummmm…… a bit…..ummm…well you will see…….. but I have to tell you about what happened to me early this morning. I was talking a few days ago about the Serenity deck and how I had decided to do my very best to stop the seat savers. Anyway, I had made a quite strict sounding announcement on the PA system and had added the same verbiage in the Capers basically telli……..oh bugger………..in the Funtimes basically telling everyone that anything used to save a seat would be confiscated……….even though there was no chance of that happening as honestly…….just between me and you………..we don’t have the man power….or woman power. Anyway, I decided that after my Fun Ashore and Onboard presentation that I would go and have a look at the Serenity deck and see if my forceful announcements had worked. Actually they had……….as you will see now from the photos taken by me………..yes not Radu but by me at 11:45am.
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So we have a well hung parliament in t……….oh bugger………..sorry……………I meant to say we have a hung parliament in the UK which means neither of the three parties has a majority which means Susan Boyle is still Prime Minister while the parties try and decide what to do next. You see, in the UK our voting system is as old fashioned as Barbara Walters’ underwear. Voting in the UK means going to a school or a hall or a theatre and lining up with hundreds of others in the rain and honestly it has all the charm and grace of a turd in a swimming pool. The whole election has been sad, boring and so very British. We don’t have electronic voting, nope, you go in a booth thingy and use something called “a pen” to check the party you want to vote for. …………a pen………mmmm…….must have been very confusing to the people in their late teens and early twenties………………what……….you mean I can’t text my vote?
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As you may remember, or not, a few days ago I wrote to you about my panic at not having a birthday gift for Heidi’s birthday for the 28th of April. In the end I went to a site which for now will remain nameless and bought her a beautiful coffee table book with 247 pages of photos of Holland. I also bought her 2 dozen pink roses (her favourites) and a Levana BABYVIEW20 Interference Free Digital Wireless Video Monitor with Night Light Lullaby Camera by Levana.
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I am at the best of times a news junkie of massive proportion and after checking my e-mail the first post poo thing I do is check the news. I read both the BBC and CNN websites and have CNN International playing in the cabin 24 hours a day. It is especially important to me now as we are a few days away from a general election where hopefully the British people will see sense and tell our Susan Boyle lookalike of a Prime Minister to bugger off. However, it looks like there is no clear favorite at the moment and that’s not good. And so I crave news and I must admit ….. and I say this respectfully………..I miss the BBC and Sky news stations.
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Because of the farting Icelandic volcano Heidi has been trying to work with Easy Jet to see what she has to do to get her Mum back to Holland and of course it all has to do with those two dreaded words………………….”travel Insurance.”
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