As you will see, we will be talking about the Miami office later and indeed we shall start with some office chat as well. Now I haven’t worked in an office for 25 years. The only time I did was when I first started work for Customs and Excise Branch 1AQ. That sounds fantastic doesn’t it? (more…)

Wow, what a difference from last cruise. I will show you the stats in a moment but we have gone from 1,000 children to just 91. And the guests are much older as well and with that in mind have a read of this:

Guest: Mrs. ________ Ref: 941285541A
Cabin: —— Booking#: _______ Added-Changed: 09/05/11 – 09/05/11

      SHOW TOO LOUD
Mrs.______ came to the GSD to say that her husband and she had left the show tonight because it was too loud. Guest was very upset and said that she wanted to meet with the cruise director as she wants the volume lowered for all the shows.

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Ketut has been sick these past two days and I have missed him so much. For those who do not know who Ketut is, I should explain that he is my cabin steward and cleans and tidies my cabin, looks after me, scrapes various objects off the inside of my toilet and washes my underpants. I have no idea what made him sick, but he has been confined to bed by the ship’s doctor for two days and I am lost without him. (more…)

“So, how is this cruise going?” I hear you cry. It’s going very well and thanks for asking. I won’t say that there aren’t challenges and I will be discussing one or two of those over the next few blogs starting today with an old chestnut. But overall the guests love the ship and her crew. There are 4,400 guests here which means there are going to be as there always is, one or two ummmmm……….interesting stories. (more…)

So being the brave soul that I am, I decided to hold a live Question and Answer session after my travel talk and after telling the guests last week that Jose and his mates were on strike and that we were not going to Palma De Mallorca but spending an overnight in Barcelona instead. I was ready and prepared for the onslaught to begin and had a crack security team standing by in case things turned ugly…..OK……..my crack security team consisted of Calvyn who is to security what Richard Simmons is to cage fighting. (more…)

The audiences in Europe are rather different than, say, a seven-day Caribbean cruise. One of those differences is that here on Carnival Magic I rarely have to deal with hecklers whereas in the Caribbean they are quite commonplace. However, last night at the show I faced one of the most challenging situations since we brought the ship out and more about this later.

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Mr________ Ref: 848003163A Cabin: 9*** Changed: 07/20/11 – 07/20/11

C – 9*** – GST FINED IN CAPRI
Mr______ came to the desk and was very upset. He was on the Pompeii and Capri excursion and during the free time part of the tour he needed to use the bathroom. Guest could not find a public toilet and went into some trees. Guest was then later stopped by police and given a ticket and fine of 300 Euros. Guest states that there were no public places and that he has a bladder condition. Guest feels that as he was on a Carnival tour that he should have the fine paid by Carnival.

Wow. That’s one expensive pee. I feel sorry for him in a way but also it is laughable that it’s our fault and that during the two hours of free time of the tour for shopping etc and after the included lunch at a beautiful hotel where there are indeed toilets for guests, that Carnival should pay his fine. (more…)

With everything that has been going on since I have returned from my week at home, I haven’t had time to tell you about the cats. Now for new readers, who may not know what I am talking about, may I suggest you read this to find out more.

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My Facebook page is growing by the day and I am doing my best to keep on top of it, but I am not worried as soon help will be on the way. Soon, some of the other cruise directors will be getting Facebook pages. The beards have not decided who yet, but some will and you will be able to get in touch with them. Now how they use it will be up to them but it will mean that they will lose some of the time that they spend doing other things like have a life, rumpy pumpy and anything that doesn’t involve sitting in front of a computer in their underpants. (more…)

Well that was the week that was and today I start a new week of blogging and Facebooking. Those last few days were tough as everyone said exactly how they felt as non-smokers and smokers took up arms to wage war against the other and I couldn’t help but think…….was I to blame? If I didn’t have the blog and the Facebook page would it have gotten so hostile? But then again, that’s the Internet in a nutshell, isn’t it? (more…)