So the Royal Wedding is over and Mrs. Middleton, who has obviously been panning that her daughter should marry a prince since Kate was just a fetus, has her wish. Billions of people watched on TV and a few here on the Carnival Magic’s Seaside Theatre big screen in-between getting the ship ready for service. The wedding cost huge sums of money and yet even though Mr and Mrs. Public had helped pay for it through their taxes, hundreds of thousands lined the streets 10 deep to catch a glimpse of Prince William’s hereditary bald patch and Princess Kate’s dress.

They stood there for hours holding their bladders and waving their little flags as the pomp and circumstance played before their eyes and nobody……..I mean nobody likes…….pomp and circumstance like us Brits. (more…)

Before I get into today’s Q & A we need to discuss the Q & A from Monday which included this: (more…)

OK, it’s time for me to come clean about something…………I’ve wanted to tell someone for the last month or so……… but I have been too embarrassed…..too ashamed to tell you ………. but I cannot take it anymore. And so today, Tuesday February 22, 2011 I openly confess to you all…………… (more…)

When I am home with the girls I start each morning the same way. Go downstairs at 7 am, make Kye a bottle of milk, check my sugar level, take my pill, collect the newspaper from the doormat, go back upstairs, give Kye her milk and then take the newspaper into the bathroom, sit down and enjoy 20 minutes of absolute total peace and quiet………minus the odd splash.

(more…)

My sister Suzanne and I have always had a relationship based on my teasing her relentlessly and her putting up with it as best she could. Once when I was 14 and she was 10 I told her that Mum didn’t love us anymore and had moved to Africa, when she had just gone to the local shop for some milk. (more…)

It’s hard to remember anything about my last cruise on the Carnival Splendor outside of  what happened early Monday morning. I remember the poor guests whose luggage fell in the water thanks to some not so skillful forklift driving skills of a Long Beach stevedore. But apart from that most of Sunday is a bit of a blur. However, I do remember a beautiful 11-year-old girl who was part of my Sunday show and the reason I remember her is because of her name. (more…)

I cannot imagine how anyone is properly famous doesn’t go stark raving bonkers. I bet that with all their fame money and Latvian bottoms ask George Clooney, LeBron James or Madonna if they could have anything for Christmas their heart desired they would ask for anonymity. The ability to walk into a restaurant without being pointed at. The comfort blanket of being able to make a phone call safe in the knowledge that nobody else is listening because nobody else gives a bugger what you have to say.
(more…)

As a diabetic I have to have what’s called an A1C which is a measurement of my sugar level over the last 3 months. Thanks to the new equipment we have in our medical centers onboard they can now do this for me and give me the results straight away. This means I don’t have to go to see Doctor Longfinger when I am back home.
(more…)

Good Morning everyone. It’s 7:10am on this Monday mooring at sea and I just made the huge mistake of checking my own personal e-mail account. I haven’t done this for many weeks. I have my Carnival John Heald account, my Splendor cruise director account and now my Facebook thingy account as well so my Yahoo has been left unwanted and untouched like Judge Judy in a lineup of naked Latvians.
(more…)

So last night Heidi, Kye and I went to the steakhouse. Please don’t worry, this is not a blog to prove that kids can go to the steakhouse although I do have to say at this point that she slept most of the time in her stroller and when she was awake she happily giggled and munched on a piece of bread. I will though say that we did get some strange looks from one or two guests but I am not sure if that was “Oh look that (more…)