I told myself that I wouldn’t write about the 600 Russians here on the ship. “Don’t do it you fat bastard,” I said out loud but to no avail. This is a one-off cruise. Yes we will have Russians sailing again but never this high a count and I doubt never this entertaining.

There is so much going on here on the Carnival Magic but as far as the guests are concerned …….the Russians are dominating. Here are two incidents that show I just can’t ignore them. (more…)

So the Royal Wedding is over and Mrs. Middleton, who has obviously been panning that her daughter should marry a prince since Kate was just a fetus, has her wish. Billions of people watched on TV and a few here on the Carnival Magic’s Seaside Theatre big screen in-between getting the ship ready for service. The wedding cost huge sums of money and yet even though Mr and Mrs. Public had helped pay for it through their taxes, hundreds of thousands lined the streets 10 deep to catch a glimpse of Prince William’s hereditary bald patch and Princess Kate’s dress.

They stood there for hours holding their bladders and waving their little flags as the pomp and circumstance played before their eyes and nobody……..I mean nobody likes…….pomp and circumstance like us Brits. (more…)

Before I get into today’s Q & A we need to discuss the Q & A from Monday which included this: (more…)

Last night Heidi and I watched a movie. It was probably the wrong movie to watch before bedtime but I had spent 7 straight hours at the computer Facebooking, blogging and paper working so a movie seemed the right medicine to take my mind of everything. The movie we chose was 127 Hours. It was an OK movie I guess but sitting there I felt a little bit weird waiting for the film’s one interesting scene where the ridiculously good looking climber hacks off his arm with a Swiss Army penknife. It was a bit like watching Basic Instinct only for the bit where Sharon Stone crosses her legs revealing for a nanosecond the sight of her lady garden.

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You may remember in Monday’s blog that I got a bollocking from Geoff N about my use of British spelling in a blog read mostly by Americans. I wanted to answer him by screaming “Who invented the language you apple pie eating bastard” but I didn’t……….as that would have been unprofessional.

However, he wasn’t the only one to administer a bollocking to me about my language because I used the word “trash” instead of “rubbish” while talking to my father on the phone. And being a retired high school principal he turned into William Shakespeare and threatened his footeth wouldeth be forever upeth my arseeth………..if I ever spoke American in his presence again.

But it’s not just me. (more…)

OK, it’s time for me to come clean about something…………I’ve wanted to tell someone for the last month or so……… but I have been too embarrassed…..too ashamed to tell you ………. but I cannot take it anymore. And so today, Tuesday February 22, 2011 I openly confess to you all…………… (more…)

You may have see on this blog thingy and on Facebook these past few days that I have received lots of requests to help arrange the scattering of ashes at sea. These requests are always full of emotion and it is an honour for me to try and help. (more…)

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhh………don’t tell anyone but I think two of the ship’s senior officers are ……….. well…………..you know………at it. It’s not like they need to tell anyone they are having an affair because it’s as obvious as posting five photos of naked bottoms on this blog ……. (more…)

We start today with a comment posted here on the blog thingy. (more…)

When I am home with the girls I start each morning the same way. Go downstairs at 7 am, make Kye a bottle of milk, check my sugar level, take my pill, collect the newspaper from the doormat, go back upstairs, give Kye her milk and then take the newspaper into the bathroom, sit down and enjoy 20 minutes of absolute total peace and quiet………minus the odd splash.

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