Good morning from a typical rainy summer day in Essex, England. Yes, it’s me, Heidi, here and Kye, too, of course. It is not often that I get to write to you these days so thank you for all your kind words and thoughts for Kye and me. We had a great time on the ship and Kye was of course spoiled by everyone. She is a Daddy’s girl for sure and we have had some tears recently as she “wants Dadda and Mama to be with Kye.” Life goes on and I noticed that John had listed some of my most annoying habits in his blog and I demanded the right to reply and here is my list of his most annoying habits and I expect the female readers of his blog will recognize some of these.

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DRESS CODE: LIVE FROM THE FRONT LINE

February 29, 2012 -

John Heald -

106 Comments

There’s been talk about whether we need to start making announcements asking people to turn their cell phones off before shows. Personally, I don’t think we’ve reached that point just yet as most people are quite courteous when it comes to using their phones which would make it seem like overkill.

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Good morning everyone, this is Heidi and for those of you who are new to the blog thingy, I am John’s wife and John’s donkey. I will tell you what I mean in a minute but I wanted to say a very big thank you for your kindness and all the presents you have sent to Kye from the Bloggers Cruise. She loves all her Barney things and I love it because she loves it and Barney loves her and I love it even more because anything purple now drives my loving husband absolutely crazy so thank you everyone and I know I will see many of you on the Carnival Magic this year.

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A Message From Heidi

January 6, 2011 -

Heidi -

78 Comments

Hello Blogger friends,

Heidi here from a very grey U.K…..

First of all I would like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very happy, healthy and FUN 2011! All festivities have come and gone again and as much fun as it was….I don’t mind getting back to normality, well, as normal as it gets in the Heald household.

I am writing this with Kye on my lap as Dadda has a serious case of Man Flu / Real Flu….

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Poke In The Eye Phone

June 17, 2010 -

John Heald -

59 Comments

Good morning everyone. This is Heidi here writing to you on this lovely Thursday morning here in the UK. Before I continue I should mention that I am not sitting here in my underpants or Johns underpants for that matter. I am fully clothed and happy to have the chance to start John’s blog for him today. That’s because early this morning John and I had a little bit of an argument you could say. Kye woke up at 6:30 am which is early for her and normally I have a routine of going down stairs, making her a bottle of milk, changing her nappy or diaper as you call them and then bring her back into our bed to feed her. This morning though I was really snug under the covers and had been having a dream about Rafael Nadal’s bottom. Not really but I told John I had because he gets on my nerves all the time talking about Megan Fox and her skinny bottom.
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Pain In The Ash

April 16, 2010 -

John Heald -

55 Comments

Yesterday Iceland farted on the UK.

And as ash spewed from the Eyjafjallajökull volcano. This caused the men and women with beards to put on their high visibility jackets and shut down the skies. Al Gore blamed global warming. The Mayan Indians said it was the end of the world and the tofu-eating greens want to tax the volcano because it produces more carbon dioxide than my Range Rover.
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Aliens, Elizebeth And Heidi

March 12, 2010 -

John Heald -

64 Comments

I have to admit something to you which may change your opinion of me. Last night before I went to bed……….. I killed four men.

The first two I shot with a good old-fashioned shotgun, and then for the third one, who was 9 feet high and wearing body armor complete with alien technology, I had to use a photon cannon…….thingy.
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Party Time With Some Bouncy Bouncy

December 16, 2009 -

John Heald -

50 Comments

Yesterday I went to London to meet with the most prestigious travel writer in the British Press ………….Mr. Frank Barrett who is the Travel Editor of the Sunday Mail Newspaper …………….. think USA Today’s Gene Sloan but with a Prince Charles type of accent.
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Have I Got News For You

December 1, 2009 -

John Heald -

50 Comments

I don’t know about you but I am sick to bloody death of this Tiger Woods thing in the news. Even this morning as I sit here in my hotel room in my underpants all CNN and Fox and MSNBC are talking about is poor Tiger…………….or Cheetah as some are calling him.

Why was Tiger Woods leaving his home at a little after 2am? How could he then hit a fire hydrant and crash into a neighbor’s tree while driving at less than 30mph, especially as police say alcohol played no part in the incident? ……………………and who cares?
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I hadn’t been ashore for 14 days and so yesterday in Tampa I had 40 minutes for lunch in between meetings and immigration.

I decided rather than sit in a corner of my cabin, in my underpants, dribbling on myself …..I had better get off the ship. The last time I was in Tampa with the Carnival Legend there was bugger all to do close to the port. That has of course all changed with shops and restaurants within waddling distance………..and so I forced myself to get off the ship and go for lunch…….on my own…….because I have no friends….because I am Billy No Mates.
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