Wow, what a difference from last cruise. I will show you the stats in a moment but we have gone from 1,000 children to just 91. And the guests are much older as well and with that in mind have a read of this:

Guest: Mrs. ________ Ref: 941285541A
Cabin: —— Booking#: _______ Added-Changed: 09/05/11 – 09/05/11

      SHOW TOO LOUD
Mrs.______ came to the GSD to say that her husband and she had left the show tonight because it was too loud. Guest was very upset and said that she wanted to meet with the cruise director as she wants the volume lowered for all the shows.

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Ketut has been sick these past two days and I have missed him so much. For those who do not know who Ketut is, I should explain that he is my cabin steward and cleans and tidies my cabin, looks after me, scrapes various objects off the inside of my toilet and washes my underpants. I have no idea what made him sick, but he has been confined to bed by the ship’s doctor for two days and I am lost without him. (more…)

“So, how is this cruise going?” I hear you cry. It’s going very well and thanks for asking. I won’t say that there aren’t challenges and I will be discussing one or two of those over the next few blogs starting today with an old chestnut. But overall the guests love the ship and her crew. There are 4,400 guests here which means there are going to be as there always is, one or two ummmmm……….interesting stories. (more…)

Amongst those crew members who have been with Carnival for a good number of years there are a group of guests who make us sweat every time they walk on board the ship. They live to moan and find fault wherever their shark eyes fall. It is their mission to be a pain in the arse and it’s your mission to need an urgent toilet break whenever they come anywhere near you. This is an exclusive group and most guest services managers and hotel directors and some of my fellow cruise directors are aware of them. There is one famous guest we refer to as “Queenie” because she honestly believes she is royalty and she is famous for walking around the ship with a note pad and pen asking other guests if they have any complaints and then taking those comments each and every day of the cruise to the hotel director.

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So as you know by now, we have lots of British on board and they have had a jolly time and have been brilliant at the shows and have lent themselves to the atmosphere around the ship and have truly enjoyed the RedFrog Pub. Going down to the pub is as British as it gets along with drinking tea in the morning and having a huge portion of spotted dick for dinner. The other thing that is a British tradition as seen here on the Carnival Magic in abundance this cruise is wearing your favourite football (sacccceer) team’s colors. Yep, whether it’s Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea, Celtic, Newcastle, Glasgow Rangers, Arsenal or Southend United, you will see grown men wearing their team’s shirts, morning, noon and night. Why do they do this? That is the question. It’s obviously not to attract women, because when they pull a garment designed for a super fit 20-something athlete over huge beer bellies they look about as attractive and sexy as a baboon’s bottom.

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Ref: 872294249A Cabin: **** Booking#:******Added-Changed: 08/21/11 – 08/21/1

CABIN COMMENTS

Guest called the GSD at 6:15am and asked that someone come immediately to their cabin as the red stand by light on the television was stopping them from sleeping. Guest also asked that the stateroom steward remove the Bible from the cabin but he had not done so. Joiner on duty went to cabin and placed a piece of black tape over the red light on the television and the guest handed the Bible to him which was delivered to the GSD.

Added-Changed: 8/22/11 – 8/22/11 – Mrs. _______ removed all gratuities from cabin ______. GSA asked if she would like to discuss why this was done but she refused.

Red lights, Bibles and canceling gratuities. Let’s discuss this and try and work out what’s going on here. Ummmmm……….ummmmmmmmmmmm……..well honestly I haven’t a sodding clue. Do you?

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I saw on our esteemed Chairman Micky Arison’s twit thingy that Justin Bieber had encouraged people on his twit to follow Mr. Arison. Now he has millions of young twits who follow him and have posters of him all over their bedroom walls……Justin, I mean not Mr. Arison…I guess it’s only me that has a poster of our chairman on my bedroom wall then? I am sure Mr. Arison will use his twit thingy to encourage the parents of Justin’s fans to take a cruise. Do I see a cruise with Justin Bieber in the future?

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My beach ball stomach seems to have attracted a lot of attention these past few months here on the blog and here in my inbox from the beards was another one….well….kind of.

Have a read of this…

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Click the link thingy below for the new dessert menus that will be fleet wide with the exception of the Carnival Spirit and Carnival Magic by the end of September.

Carnival dessert menu link thingy. 

Bon appetite.

John

So being the brave soul that I am, I decided to hold a live Question and Answer session after my travel talk and after telling the guests last week that Jose and his mates were on strike and that we were not going to Palma De Mallorca but spending an overnight in Barcelona instead. I was ready and prepared for the onslaught to begin and had a crack security team standing by in case things turned ugly…..OK……..my crack security team consisted of Calvyn who is to security what Richard Simmons is to cage fighting. (more…)