I have had a lot of comments on Facebook and here on the blog as well as from my wife that I never ever get off the ship in the ports of call. And you are all right. I don’t. Most of the time it’s because I am too busy answering those same comments on Facebook and the blog and on the phone to Heidi……..oh, plus I have a ship to run, as well. However, last night I did. For some reason I was in the middle of Facebooking about trolls and trying to referee a match between a few Facebookers who just don’t like each other when for some weird reason I stood up……..and without thinking much, I grabbed my ship’s ID, a cigar and some money……walked down to the gangway in Civitavecchia and buggered off. The look on the security team’s face at the gangway was priceless.

(more…)

With everything that has been going on since I have returned from my week at home, I haven’t had time to tell you about the cats. Now for new readers, who may not know what I am talking about, may I suggest you read this to find out more.

(more…)

Guest—————Ref: 848002951A
Cabin: 6*** Booking #————– Added-Changed: 07/17/11
COMMENT ON GUESTS

Mrs._____ came to the desk to say that there were a group of men wearing inappropriate T-shirts on Lido Deck and it had disturbed her and her children. Guest advised that we would look into the situation and security called to assist.

I was fascinated when I read this report and called the chief security officer to find out what it was all about . It seems we have a group of college graduates from Boston who decided that they would wear T-shirts with colourful slogans on them. Apparently they were standing next to this family wearing T-shirts that read “Remember My Name. You’ll be Screaming it Later” and “Does this shirt make my d ***k look big?”

(more…)

We have two new activities here on your Carnival Magic. They are open to all guests but obviously it’s the younger generation that seems to be enjoying them most. First we have video games in SportSquare where you can be a Dallas Cowboy or a Green Bay Picker or a New York Yankee or pretend you are Dwyane Wade and LeBron James except this time you win the championship. Yep, it’s a great place and the youth of the ship meet there to play these games and to see whose pants are the lowest.

(more…)

I wrote on Facebook the other day about how the noise flip flops make really makes my hemorrhoids flare up. So add to that finger wag that people do when they can’t be asked to come over to you and expect you to walk to them like a subservient dog. I saw that some others had listed cold callers as their most annoying thing yet surprising nobody mentioned noisy eaters. How can cold callers be more annoying than noisy eaters? You can slam down the phone on a cold caller and listen, to some beautiful silence. But are you allowed to stab a loud eater in the eye with a fork and tell them to shut up? No. You’re expected not to notice while they chomp away like a human blender.

Here are some other things that annoy me:

(more…)

CARNIVAL MIRACLE TO OFFER YEAR-ROUND EIGHT-DAY CARIBBEAN/BAHAMAS CRUISES FROM NEW YORK BEGINNING IN APRIL 2012

Line’s First Year-Round Departures from the Big Apple

MIAMI (June 15, 2011) – Carnival Cruise Lines will launch a year-round program of eight-day cruises to the Caribbean and Bahamas from New York beginning in April 2012 – the line’s first year-round sailings from that port.
On this schedule, Carnival Miracle will offer three uniquely different eight-day itineraries that visit a diversity of beautiful islands throughout the Caribbean and Bahamas. The itineraries include:

(more…)

All men are created equal so said some wise man who probably had a beard, wore sandals and meditated while sitting on a spike…………unfortunately he was talking bollocks.

You could give me the same ingredients that our Executive Chef Peter uses and put me in the same kitchen with the same equipment, and even though we have exactly the same number of hands, fingers and thingies ……. I can absolutely guarantee that I’d end up with a plate full of crap that even a hamster that hasn’t eaten in 12 days would turn his little furry nose up at.

(more…)

Last night Heidi and I watched a movie. It was probably the wrong movie to watch before bedtime but I had spent 7 straight hours at the computer Facebooking, blogging and paper working so a movie seemed the right medicine to take my mind of everything. The movie we chose was 127 Hours. It was an OK movie I guess but sitting there I felt a little bit weird waiting for the film’s one interesting scene where the ridiculously good looking climber hacks off his arm with a Swiss Army penknife. It was a bit like watching Basic Instinct only for the bit where Sharon Stone crosses her legs revealing for a nanosecond the sight of her lady garden.

(more…)

Before I start today’s blog I need to educate my North American friends about how we British spend our vacations, or to use proper English…….how we spend our holidays. First of all there are the people who refuse ever to leave the comfort of the Great Britain and this means holidaying by car.
(more…)

The United States Coast Guard and United States Public Health require that each and every crew member hold a complete medical which are kept in the ship’s medical centre. This shows that each of the crew is medically fit to serve on board. And of course the medical evaluations are also a requirement of Carnival as well because they provide full and complete medical coverage for every crew member. Pretty much everything is included with the exception of breast enhancement or indeed reduction. I know this for a fact because I asked and Carnival said “No, we will not pay to have your breasts reduced, John.”

(more…)