As cruise director of the Carnival Miracle, I speak to lots of guests and enjoy every moment of doing so. Even when they are moaning about me, costumes, whales, leering looks, food, air, jokes, the weather or as yesterday a British guest saying that the ship was too “American,” I enjoy the challenge of finding something they are enjoying and concentrating on that. What is far more difficult and far more of a challenge is when you are talking with a guest who does not understand that there are others waiting in line for you and that they want to say hello and speak to you or ask a question. Such was the case last night at the Captain’s Celebration party in the lobby. Last cruise, it was the scene of “sexist pig gate” and, (more…)

There are many things I regret that I have said and done in my life — actions that if I could, I would go back in time and change. Telling Heidi, while she was giving birth to Kye, that having a baby was no more painful than the time I ate a massive order of pork skin (“crackling,” as we call it in the UK) and was constipated for days and then describing the effort I had made to finally get the pork crackling out, was both stupid and painful as the fingernail marks in my hand proved. However, some people do things in their life that are just as dumb and (more…)

THE RETURN OF THE BLOG

January 27, 2014 -

John Heald -

57 Comments

No, it’s not an illusion; this is indeed a new blog. Yep, here I am, back in my underpants, ready once again to give you another average blog. I had paused from writing the blogs while I was home thinking about my book about my life at sea. And then Dad passed away …………. and …………well……..you know. But the blog is as important to me as Facebook, if not more so, because it was the blog that got me on the social media thingy and thus connected with you. And it is the blog that our seven blogger’s cruises have been named after including the one in February of which we have 688 people registered for.  (more…)

Carnival LIVE: the schedule

January 22, 2014 -

Everett -

24 Comments

John, who is currently in a taxi, asked that I share the below schedule with you guys. For your convenience, here it is… though I’d also urge you to always refer to the official page on carnival.com for the most up-to-date information.

(more…)

Happy birthday, John!

January 22, 2014 -

Everett -

21 Comments

From all of us beards with beards, and even some beards who don’t wear beards, have a happy birthday!

(And if your face gets cold in New York today, try a beard!)

THE AMERICAN TABLE

December 3, 2013 -

Calvyn -

115 Comments

Here are two examples of our exciting new menus that we will be serving on the Carnival Glory next week before rolling out to other ships next year.

Enjoy

American Table Menu

 

American Feast Menu

 

Here is Greenland

October 10, 2013 -

John Heald -

104 Comments

Hello everyone,

I thought you might like to see what our guests experienced these past 15 days on our amazing trans Atlantic voyage on Carnival Legend.

My thanks to Martin, our videographer, for his great camera work. So sit back and let’s go to Greenland.

(more…)

BOOK………………ENDS.

September 27, 2013 -

John Heald -

30 Comments

So here we are, three days into the trans-Atlantic crossing, and we will be talking a lot about this over the next few days here and on Facebook, I am sure. And today I want to start by talking about books. Now I have done ummmm……….ummmmm……..bugger me………..I have no idea how many TA’s I have done but it’s a heck of a lot. Some, I don’t remember, some I do.  There was one on Carnival Freedom where I was tormented by one guest who looked like Rodney Dangerfield, one on Carnival Liberty with a huge GI outbreak that certainly wasn’t fun, and one on the Carnival Splendor that was amazing because we had 16 days of glass-like water as we crossed the pond, it literally was…….. a pond. (more…)

The Hangover………before the TA

September 23, 2013 -

John Heald -

39 Comments

 

“We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” Good morning. It’s 8:35 am here as I begin to write this part of today’s blog. My morning started with a visit to the coffee shop before I hosted the Morning Show and that’s when I met a guest who, through half-closed eyes and the complexion of a bullfrog, said these words, “We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” (more…)

GAME OF MOANS

September 3, 2013 -

John Heald -

30 Comments

These days, most TV game shows like Who Wants to be a Millionaire or Jeopardy tend to have celebrity versions where Z-list celebrities are people who came 28th on American Idol or have been in a soap opera or a reality show with Mr. Trump or who starred in a rumpy pumpy tape that their boyfriend filmed without their knowledge. Instead of us watching regular members of the public on a TV game show, sweating nervously as they try to win enough money for a Carnival cruise or a new car or to buy a bigger thingy, we have a celebrity who most of us have never heard of trying to win lots of money for the charities that often involve donkeys or the protection of a rare bird that has been sighted off the coast of Michigan. (more…)

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