THE RETURN OF THE BLOG

January 27, 2014 -

John Heald -

56 Comments

No, it’s not an illusion; this is indeed a new blog. Yep, here I am, back in my underpants, ready once again to give you another average blog. I had paused from writing the blogs while I was home thinking about my book about my life at sea. And then Dad passed away …………. and …………well……..you know. But the blog is as important to me as Facebook, if not more so, because it was the blog that got me on the social media thingy and thus connected with you. And it is the blog that our seven blogger’s cruises have been named after including the one in February of which we have 688 people registered for.  (more…)

Carnival LIVE: the schedule

January 22, 2014 -

Everett -

24 Comments

John, who is currently in a taxi, asked that I share the below schedule with you guys. For your convenience, here it is… though I’d also urge you to always refer to the official page on carnival.com for the most up-to-date information.

(more…)

Happy birthday, John!

January 22, 2014 -

Everett -

21 Comments

From all of us beards with beards, and even some beards who don’t wear beards, have a happy birthday!

(And if your face gets cold in New York today, try a beard!)

THE AMERICAN TABLE

December 3, 2013 -

Calvyn -

115 Comments

Here are two examples of our exciting new menus that we will be serving on the Carnival Glory next week before rolling out to other ships next year.

Enjoy

American Table Menu

 

American Feast Menu

 

Here is Greenland

October 10, 2013 -

John Heald -

104 Comments

Hello everyone,

I thought you might like to see what our guests experienced these past 15 days on our amazing trans Atlantic voyage on Carnival Legend.

My thanks to Martin, our videographer, for his great camera work. So sit back and let’s go to Greenland.

(more…)

BOOK………………ENDS.

September 27, 2013 -

John Heald -

30 Comments

So here we are, three days into the trans-Atlantic crossing, and we will be talking a lot about this over the next few days here and on Facebook, I am sure. And today I want to start by talking about books. Now I have done ummmm……….ummmmm……..bugger me………..I have no idea how many TA’s I have done but it’s a heck of a lot. Some, I don’t remember, some I do.  There was one on Carnival Freedom where I was tormented by one guest who looked like Rodney Dangerfield, one on Carnival Liberty with a huge GI outbreak that certainly wasn’t fun, and one on the Carnival Splendor that was amazing because we had 16 days of glass-like water as we crossed the pond, it literally was…….. a pond. (more…)

The Hangover………before the TA

September 23, 2013 -

John Heald -

39 Comments

 

“We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” Good morning. It’s 8:35 am here as I begin to write this part of today’s blog. My morning started with a visit to the coffee shop before I hosted the Morning Show and that’s when I met a guest who, through half-closed eyes and the complexion of a bullfrog, said these words, “We should ban anyone over 40 from drinking alcohol on board.” (more…)

GAME OF MOANS

September 3, 2013 -

John Heald -

30 Comments

These days, most TV game shows like Who Wants to be a Millionaire or Jeopardy tend to have celebrity versions where Z-list celebrities are people who came 28th on American Idol or have been in a soap opera or a reality show with Mr. Trump or who starred in a rumpy pumpy tape that their boyfriend filmed without their knowledge. Instead of us watching regular members of the public on a TV game show, sweating nervously as they try to win enough money for a Carnival cruise or a new car or to buy a bigger thingy, we have a celebrity who most of us have never heard of trying to win lots of money for the charities that often involve donkeys or the protection of a rare bird that has been sighted off the coast of Michigan. (more…)

My wife Heidi runs a very tight domestic ship. With me traveling and being away as much as I am, she runs the household completely. Heidi pays the all the bills and makes sure my subscription to “Latvians In Stockings Weekly” is paid, takes care of all things around the house and garden and any DIY.

 She also has the traditional duties of cook, cleaner and occasional nurse. Indeed, the title of housewife no longer describes what she does. Yep, Heidi is our domestic chief executive officer. Now, like other CEOs, Heidi has to deal with hostile takeover bids as in attempts by others who have a fetish for fat ugly British cruise directors who try to seduce her husband. Like CEOs Heidi has to deal with, demands of long-term board members, or in this case, our parents. (more…)

WEINERS AND BARBIES

July 31, 2013 -

John Heald -

33 Comments

My daughter Kye no longer loves that purple bastard dinosaur or the bag of sausages sometimes known as Peppa Pig. Nope, they are gone and forgotten because my daughter Kye, aged four …….. now loves Barbie. She watches the movies with sickly titles like Barbie and the Red Shoes, Barbie in a Mermaid Tale, Barbie Does Dallas and Barbie Divorces Ken. And she has the Barbie Dream House and the Barbie Cruise Ship and lots of Barbie clothes for her Barbie dolls while Ken lives in a cardboard box in the shed. It reminds me of when my sister played with her Barbies and what I would do to them when she wasn’t looking.  I chopped their hair off and gave them a bath in the toilet. I pierced their ears with a huge safety pin. I painted their nipples blue and one had the same number of legs as Paul McCartney’s ex-girlfriend. I hate Barbie just as much as I hated Barney. Yesterday, I called home to wish Kye goodnight and tell her I love as I always do and she insisted on singing a song called “She’s the Queen of the Waves” which, of course, is from a Barbie movie. (more…)

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