Spotted Dick — Get your mind out of the gutter. This is not something you get after visiting Madame Claudette at a Paris brothel…….it’s my favourite desert. Here is the recipe.

Humour — Or any other word where You have dropped the U!

The French — We should invade…………it’s not like they are going to put up a fight, is it?

Barney the Dinosaur — I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, when a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor……..no more sodding purple dinosaur.

Megan Fox — I’m sorry, I just drooled all over my keyboard and can’t finish th…

Blogger — Somebody who actually reads this blog. Can you believe such people exist?

Aston Martin DBS — Yes. Please. A free cruise* to anyone who rents or buys me one.

PA 007 — The man………….or woman………….who tells me whats happening at the world of Carnival so I can tell you. No clues to his or her identity but I can tell you…………he or she likes Hot Dogs and tends to shout “WooHoo” when they are happy.

Latvian Women — Home to some of the best rumpy-pumpiers in the world………… allegedly……………if Heidi is reading this. A free cruise* in a Penthouse to anyone who rents or buys me an Aston Martin DBS with a baked Latvian model in the front seat.

Rumpy-pumpy — Something I used to get every Thursday but now happens as infrequently as a great French military victory.

High-visibility jacket — Something that everyone who works at Carnival HQ in Miami is required to wear, just as surely as I’m now required to wear pants when blogging.

Beard — According to the employee handbook, every male employee at Carnival HQ is required to wear one of these, and a few of the women have even decided to! A beard is someone who eats Tofu, uses terms such as “Blue Sky Thinking” and “Reach Out,” gets sexually excited by any new Apple product, and stands in the way of brilliant ideas *like this one.

Stephanie — A genuinely nice, intelligent girl who works for Carnival. I’ve lost count of how many Stephanies have been produced so far in PA 007’s secret genetics lab at Carnival HQ.

Bollocks — Used in a sentence “what a load of bollocks” means what a load of garbage…………..well…………….maybe a bit stronger than that.

Thingy — Your gentleman’s sausage.

Bugger— Simply the best word to use when something makes you mad, upset or pretty much any emotion. Try using it today.

Miami Heat — The greatest sports team…………………….in the world.

Is there another word I use that you’ve read over 30 times and still have have no clue what I’m talking about? Leave suggestions in the comment section below and I will have at it, in my underpants, of course.

Comment Policy

Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.

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195 Responses to John Talk

  1. Tom Elsley says:

    Hi John,
    We have cruised with you twice, once several years ago on either the Triumph or Destiny, cannot remember, in the Caribbean.
    then in 2005 on Liberty just before the cross over.
    We just got off from Dream where Butch is the cruise director. He was just part of the crew back in 05 on Liberty. Anyway, I am going on and on. Just wanted to let you know we just completed our 5th Carnival cruise and must say you were the best cruise director we have had.
    Not taking anything away from Butch, but you had us in stiches.
    Obviously after doing the Med cruise with you, the Caribbean is pale in comparison
    Thanks again,
    Tom and Mary Jo from Grand Rapids, Michigan

  2. lisa wiggs says:

    Please add “Cheeky sod” to John Talk. Thanks.

  3. lisa wiggs says:

    Please add “Manscaping” to John Talk. Thanks.

  4. Pingback: I Am Definitely Not a Dancing Queen « John Heald's Blog

  5. Pingback: The “I Want To Be Italian” Blog « John Heald's Blog

  6. Karen & Bill says:

    I have missed something. I do not like to miss anything John Heald and family!
    So.
    What is…. WYWH…?

    p.s. Does Kye need another “Thing One” outfit from Aunt Karen in USA? JK. It took me awhile to find it, cuz she WAS “Thingy”. :)
    Love and hugs to y’all.

  7. Pingback: Trailer Trash « John Heald's Blog

  8. Brian Smith says:

    Thanks to John and all the beards for accepting comments about the new ship’s design. One of the best parts of the cruise is the Main Dining Room experience. Please maintain the elegance in both decor and staffing. If others want self-servive, there is already the Lido deck. Thank you for your attention.

  9. Chef Jeff says:

    John. I miss you and Wee Jimmy working together. I hav ebeen on 23 Carnival Cruises and you two were the best Cruise director and assitant ever. I seen Jimmy last year on the Legend (I think)and he was a good as ever. Just returned from the Miracle (3-/19 – 3/27/2011) and I thought the Cruise Director and staff needed great improvement. The cruise director came across as very arogant. He was not fun at all. We will be on the Miracle next year (march 19, 2012).

    Thanks, Jeff

  10. gil from Mellivle says:

    Hi John,
    Can you please tell me what the menus are on the Dream, both the Eastern and Western sailings. I am doing a back to back and would like to plan a celebration that won’t conflict with a special meal. Thanks and keep up the good show!

  11. catherine philhower says:

    Hi I know this isnt the right place to post this but here goes. I’m looking for someone who works for Carnival who is a Matr’D. His name is Hello Frankie. Well this is why I’m looking for him. He went above and beyond the call of duty. My mom is on oxygen and when she was having problems breathing he stop and went to help her. I know you might say that is part of his job. But the rest of the cruise everytime he saw her he would always make sure she was ok. We even bumped into him on our next cruise and he still remembered her. He is a great person and we would love to cruise with him again. Now is there a way to find out who Every cruise ive been on the staff is amasing and for that reason we will only cruise Carnival

  12. SouthwestFreak says:

    could you please add the meaning for Hildegard?

  13. Bill Kohlemeier says:

    John,

    As a cigar smoker you may find the following thread on one of the web’s more popular cigar forums of interest. The comment regarding the Splendor is mine. I didn’t link it using HTML so you may have to copy and paste it into the address bar.

    http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1264492&posted=1#post1264492

    Bill

  14. David Barrell says:

    keep telling it like it is

  15. Kevin Boerio says:

    Hey, John

    Another grate suggestion to doon Carnivalcruise line. I think it would be a cool Idea to have a muder myster cruise sailing. Where the actors that are in the stage productions that are on the ships all act throughout a cruise a murder mystery. The muder would happen the second night of a of a 7 day or longer sailing. Their would be one cabin or a area of the ship where the murder took place. It would have the actor play out parts as a poilce investagtors. All the crusiers that wanted to join in this would be devided into investagation teams. They would have to solve who done it and how, why and when.Their would be dummies to be used as the bodies.I think that this would be a fun and cool idea to do. While on board a Carnival cruise ship.
    I could help you guys put this speical sailing togethier.Ihave a college degree in theater arts program from cleveland state univeristy. I would love to help you guys put this speical sailign togethier for all carnival cruiser to enjoy and have fun with trying to solve who done it.

  16. ray says:

    you may be amusing but you do need to learn to spell. There is no A in sentence!!!!

  17. barbara dye says:

    I would like to reserve four diners for the Chef’s Table on the Carnival Dream

  18. Pingback: Purses, Volcanoes, and Underpants « John Heald's Blog

  19. Sherry says:

    Hmm.. what’s missing? Well i figured out WYWH is Wish you were here.

    I’d like the origin of “poop” or maybe stop using it? It feels like an inside joke leaving lots of people out. Or a joke that’s been beaten to death.

    Love your blog :)

  20. Pingback: Save Me « John Heald's Blog

  21. jack ivie says:

    hello John i’m so excited getting on a carnival ship you make all this ship so addicting

  22. Mary says:

    John,

    When you say ‘poop’ in your blog, do you mean what I think you mean? Or is it a term that really means something else?

    Mary

  23. Jamie says:

    You are adorable, and amusing. Thank you for being you.

  24. Eric Faith says:

    I have never cruised before and will do so July 30th (9155 & 9157) out of Miami on the Carnival Destiny with my wife and kidos (17 & 14). I’m a bit nervous based on the reviews I have read about Destiny but also believe that any vacation experience is as good as the person makes it. I enjoy reading your blog so please keep up the great job of being honest and opinionated!! Love the words of wisdom!

    Eric Faith

  25. John Paschall says:

    Miami Heat – The greatest SECOND PLACE team in the world! GO MAVS!
    See you March 4th on the Magic!

  26. Tony says:

    John

    I am not on facebook or twitter. I do not see an Ask John tab above. The latter maybe because I an older guy. I and my wife will soon be first time Carnival Cruisers. My problem other than what is noted above relates to a question I wish to ask you. I request we use e-mail for the question for privacy sake. I am a military veteran with 24 years service but I am truthfully embarrased asking about this subject/slash problem. I keeping with your stern note above highlighted in blue I think this policy is “Bollocks”. :<)

  27. Will says:

    Sir, I have been reading your blog for a while now, preparing for our 10th Carnival cruise at the end of JULY. What does…WYWH stand for?

    We will see you in a few days. We have never cruised with you before and my family and myself are excited as usual!

    Thank you for all that you and the entire Carnival Staff do. My wife keeps trying to get me to do another cruise line.I am gonna talk about her when we hit 75 cruises with Carnival.

    V/R,
    Williams Family

  28. George says:

    John,

    Is this where I post requests for seat at the Chef’s Table on Victory?

    • Donald says:

      George – Go down to the bottom right portion of the block and click on the steak house reservations. You can get your Chef’s Table reservations at that same place. Enjoy!

  29. stan holliday says:

    srarted reading your blog after booking cruise in june. I am sure your great sense of humour is vital in your job it is amazing how upset some people get over trivial things. my wife and i crusing for first time sept 26 on fantasy out of charleston. we grew up together on the same street and when she really started growing up (if you know what i mean) we started going out since she was 15 and me 21 her mother broke us up and we went our separate ways.40 years later after she divorced her husbalnt and my wife past away we got back together and married in 2007. we will be celebrating my wifes 59th birthday on our first day at sea on the 27th of sept.could you please book table for 2 on that date and i understand the state room could also be decorated on that day it would be greatly appreciated.

  30. Ken says:

    Hands down, John Heald is the best cruise director! We had the pleasure of meeting him on the Triumph (2001) and he made our trip so memorable and fun. JOHN ROCKS!

  31. Magic Lady says:

    Dear John,
    your blog is exelent)))))))))))

  32. nicole yearwood says:

    John Heald
    Praises to your company for treating your customers like valued customers!! Royal Caribbean is getting slack for stranding 450 passengers in Puerto Rico. It was also on CBS news in S FL. Bravo! That is why my sister’s, friends & I are Carnival connoisseurs’ (that is what we proclaimed ourselves & one year had shirts printed as such which we wore on board). Thank the beards valuing their customers. Without hesitation. that is why our crew of 19 will be on the Dream on Nov. 26th
    http://www.cruisecritic.com/news/news.cfm?ID=4584

  33. Deepak Dave says:

    Hello , my name is Deepak Dave and I work in Ottawa , Ontario , Canada. I have come to carnival cruise on vacation and it is blasphemous . I am dismayed by the location you have taken us to and very disgusted. It shows people in slums and villages. I came here to vacation , not to see poor people in slums and villages . I will never come back to carnival cruise or to these locations ever again.

    • nicole says:

      Mr Deepak, apparently you thought the 70’s tv show Fantasy island was a reality show! poverty is everywhere, this is the reality of life. are you saying there are no poor areas of Ottawa? if that is the case then i suggest you never leave. what makes traveling so interesting is not only seeing the beauty of the area, but also the life of the people. they may be poor but may enjoy life more than you, as well as be more content with life than you. i cant believe you wasted time and energy with this stupid comment!!

      • Carolyn says:

        Nicole, I agree with you 100%….

      • Harry Lewstein says:

        Ottawa is Canada’s capitol you uneducated fool.It is a city there, there are no “poor parts” . Did you even go to school or college ? I am from Boston and currently at Harvard College and I think you really have no sense of what the world is like. Instead of staying on a boat come out and experience things. See what the world is actaully like not from a cruise ship’s point of view.

    • Caroline Arnester says:

      You are correct MR. D. That commentor is an igonorant kid. I have read about carnival cruise and have seen the commercials. They are differnt on t.v than in real life. I cannot belive all these people on the curise are fat and piggish !That commnetor was a fat pig maybe.

    • Keith Wexler says:

      Well , it is sad how the poor people come to see the rich people having a good time. whoever nicole is do you think these people are happy where they are ? they want to come to the states for a better life ! they are not happy or enojoy life better! You are incorrect madame.Please stop bashing people over their personal opinions. I have never been on a cruise personally but I would not waste my money going to these places that are not only sad but also dangerous.

    • Chase Mirsaslow says:

      Deepak Dave , do not listen to what others will say. This was your experince and it was not good. People should not be mocking or insulting your personal experince. I find it very immature and stupid of that moronic imbecile who said you should never leave your home. Very rude I find that.If this is the attiude of the people here they it just goes to show you how immature they are. I was on Princess Cruises and very similar experince to yours. I also did not like seeing the poor unfortunate people just there looking at us while people were strutting around buying so many things.I feel bad for them. They may look happy and be nice but they are not on the inside.

    • JOOEY says:

      Well , I think you are being honest. And I like that. These places are not glam-glam and shine-shine. Never like to see people like that. There is no beauty in seeing people underprivileged , if you like that then I think that is disturbing

    • Cecil Perdu says:

      I don’t go on cruises because of this. I prefer to go to places where people are happy and not in misery.

    • Lenord Park says:

      I agree with you deepak , These cruises are to help the advantaged people and they just flaunt their riches infornt of the lesser advantaged people. That is not nice making fun of your experince , nicole you are being rude.I though people these days would be still cherish and value the respect of others and their thoughts.

  34. Joe says:

    John,
    I have been following your blog for the past few weeks. The Family and I willing setting sail on the Miracle in October for a family reunion cruise.

    Just wanted to say thank you, your blog has been very entertaining and informative. You are not just a great CD, but a incredible ambassador to the seas.

    Thank you
    Joe Lomino

  35. Jackie says:

    Well my pet, some of us do not need UK-USA translations, but do understand the need to share the English language with the masses.

    TTFN toodles
    Jackie

    • kimberly marcus says:

      wow its scarry another ship is stranded…i love carnival …had a wonderful experice …bet therer some questions before i take another cruise

  36. Cindy Arnold says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the two Chef’s Table reservations! Maybe one day we’ll have the opportunity to thank you in person. 44 days until we sail!

    Cindy Arnold

    • Cheryl Case says:

      did you receive confirmation of your chef table reservation before ou left for your cruise? I’ve sent in a request for my birthday and would love to know before we leave.

  37. Brenda says:

    John,
    You use poop alot. Like pooping downstairs ect. What does that mean?

    Thanks,
    Brenda

  38. Denise Williamson says:

    Why isn’t there more country and western music played on the cruise ships leaving out of Galveston?

  39. Allison says:

    What does FFS mean?

  40. Steve Worden says:

    John – I think I found how you can take care of your raspberry problems..

  41. Steve Worden says:

    John:

    By now you are either tired of my inputs, have not read my inputs, or don’t have an idea of who I am. So taking those things into account … here is my, once before submitted to someone at carnival cruise suggestion.

    This has to do with “WHEN STUFF HAPPENS” on cruises. I have taken 3 cruises on Carnival Cruise Ships, and Oct 22 on the Dream will be #4. On each cruise “STUFF” has happened. On the Destiny in Aug 2010 == Apparently some one missed the “get back on board” time and after setting out to leave Cozumel, after we were away from the pier, and an announcement began requesting that “so and so” and another “so and so” call a certain phone number and/or contact “Guest Services”. All of which were unintelligible on the LIDO Deck. And in Nov 2010 on the Pride there was, after leaving one of the ports, there was a constant announcement made that was something to the effect of ” will the parents of So and so call this number or contact Guest Services” and later followed by an announcement some what to the effect of “if anyone notices a lost child or there is a child in you cabin that should not be there please call a number or contact guest services”, and again on the Pride upon return from Freeport there was an announcement calling the traveling companions of so and so to to call a number or contact guest services, which in this case resulted in a medivac off the coast of Jacksonville. I knew something was up when I noticed that we took a “ZIG” off our course towards Jacksonville but later returned back what appeared to be the normal planned course.

    Problem is (and I understand the problems associated with what I am about to say from a crew standpoint of 2000 plus people on board and what STUFF HAPPENING can create)I was only able to hear these continuous announcements from my cabin when I walked to my cabin door and opened it so I could understand what was going on.

    BUT I DID NOT HEAR THEM IN MY CABIN.

    You have a couple of cabins (in the hundreds) that might have a couple of people (in the potential thousands) in them. And the request announced throughout the ship are NOT BROADCAST IN THE CABINS.

    In some cases panic could be caused by some announcements .. But in others .. Problems and lives could be saved if they were announced in the Cabins. And I found no option in On Board Documentation for a choice of whether I wanted to get awakened at night or not for EMERGENCIES of ANY KIND.

    My emails to Carnival may or may not have fallen on deaf ears… But I did write someone about this before our last cruise on the Pride in April … and thought (very little but I did think) that perhaps my pleas about not being able to here general announcements on the lido deck did not fall on deaf ears when the following occurred: (Check this video out — it is humorous)

    http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=196896660347948

    Bottom line – I understand the implications of some announcements being made that could cause problems. But in some cases … ANNOUNCEMENTS that DEAL with HUMAN LIFE should be (guest like it or not) in some way be made so that ALL are in the KNOW and so ALL can help.

    My recommendation “as a start” is ask when booking or during embarkation if the person or persons (guest) choose to have these announcements made over the PA system in their cabin and would volunteer to aid the crew in a search or in any way needed. In some cases, perhaps a background check for some situations would be required for volunteers. But if and how you do it .. that’s up to the beards.

    Second Bottom Line.. If a child where to get lost, somehow wander into my cabin, announcements made regarding the child and I did not hear them .. and the next morning I found that child sleeping my my suite bath tub (this scenario the child was alive and well) I not only would be devastated … but really really angry with Carnival. (Note: Stewards do leave the room door open while cleaning a room).

    So… I’ve said what I said while sitting here in my … boxers!

    Steve

  42. Claudio says:

    Hola John, estoy a bordo del Carnival fascination como turista y me gustó mucho el buque y su funcionamiento a la hora de brindar servicio a los pasajeros.
    Me gustó tanto que tengo deseos de trabajar en este buque , agradezco tener una entrevista con usted para saber de los requisitos para un empleo.
    Gracias

  43. John McIlhenny says:

    Hi John:
    A few weeks ago, I requested Chef’s Table reservations for two on the Sensation on the Dec. 15th sailing. Booking no. is 823MG4. Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. BTW, long time CCL nurse Terry Kramer said to say hello. She said something about home made Khalua and the bottles you found phallic???
    Thanks,
    John M.

  44. Steve Worden says:

    Carnival Dream .. 10 24 2011 — Your Submarine Friend here! I made a major comment on you blog about the Language Thingy! And being a US NAVY Vet I TRULY TRULY understand the purpose of the Crew having Drills.

    Having said that the language thingy did cause a bit of humorous moment today as the crew was doing drills…

    The crew, consisting of many nationalities could cause some confusion and misinterpretation…

    Announcement I thought I heard —
    “Attention .. “stretch your thing” report to …..”

    After we laughed in our Cabin I realized it meant … “Stretcher Team” report to …

    Hope it all worked out …. Gota Love it!

    Steve

  45. jodi says:

    I was wondering why is it that Carnival calls and offers upgrades to some and not to other’s

    any rime or reason

  46. Steve Worden says:

    Carnival Dream –

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRUdo4YrXjM

    Video from you Submarine Friend!

    Steve

  47. please address the constant abuse of people saving deck chairs with towels. I have been on 4 cruises and it seems to be getting worse.

  48. Steve Worden says:

    Dear John

    Looking forward to our next cruise, but have not yet decided on just which one will be next.

    This time last week on the Dream, we had just finished an amazing excursion. It’s called the CHEF’S Table.

    We were catered to, given much champagne, wine, and wine; a tour of the galley, and and well you name it … we experienced it.

    Why do I bring this up? First I don’t have enough space to write all that I think about the experience. I highly recommend it for anyone who loves great food and great service. Especially if one loves art. But I do not recommend it for anyone who has a problem eating fine art.

    Presentation, Presentation, Presentation! I am not sure I get it but, I, with a touch of guilt ate it anyway.

    But as the Chef take this seriously, I understand and commend him and his staff for their intense serious attention to their profession.

    So for a moment I will lay aside the food and service comments on go on to the fun side. That side has to do with the people we dined with.

    I will say that the 11 people we dined with, which includes my wife and I, had such divers personalities and backgrounds we could have starred in a remake of “GILLIGAN’S Island”.

    One couple we were seated next to us caused me to immediately think that “JOHN HEALD” was tired of my comments and set me up.

    They were British. They stated they had just been to Disney World, this was their first time in the USA, and this was their first Cruise on Carnival.

    My immediate thought was .. “YEA RIGHT”. These people are British .. they MUST KNOW JOHN. And I thought to myself, in a champagne, white wine, red wine haze ..”I’LL ASK HIM if he knows them. And then in a sudden burst of reality I remember being seen in my Naval Uniform and everyone and anyone thought I knew every single solitary soul that was in the Navy! So I won’t ask if you know them cuz I don’t remember their names.

    Sitting beside them during the CHEF’S Table would be what I think it would be like sitting next to you and your wife during a series Dinner that was not all that serious.

    I have no Idea if they appreciated my sense of humor, but listening to their stories and comments was like reading your blog post. He, his wife, my wife and I laughed our asses (arses?) off. I do not recall the number of times I got that LOOK from my wife that we all get that signals .. “SHUT UP!”

    So what’s my purpose for this reply?

    Just wanted to say this:

    !. Love the Carnival Dream
    2. Every one should try the Chef’s Table
    3. Love British Humor

    and

    4. EVEN Though I do not remember the Brit’s name, and you may have access to the Crew List …

    DO YOU KNOW THESE PEOPLE?

    (I Know I said I wouldn’t ask .. But my wife gave me that LOOK)

    Steve (HIM)
    The Submarine Guy

  49. mary holt says:

    John,

    I will send you an e-mail, regarding this trip

  50. Rahnalidhio says:

    I am from Barcelona , Spain and I came on this Cruise and did not find it enjoyable. Alot of the people here are overweight and I am disguted by how they just keep on eating and eating. It is not a good thing to keep eating non-stop.The cabin rooms are a bit too small for my family and me. It is very expensive the excursions. I thought it would be covered.

  51. nana says:

    umm you should improve the cabins here , not that great

  52. laura cho says:

    Well , this was my first time on a cruise and I don’t think I would like to come back here. This or Carribien . I am not really a cruiser it seems.

  53. tess dimagio says:

    the vegatarien meals should be more on the menu . please take that inot consideration for all the non-meat eaters on the ship.

  54. Steven Keller says:

    I wish to tell you about a cruise I just completed with one of your cruise lines. Princess Cruise Lines. I took a 14 day cruise to Hawaii on the Princess Sapphire from Los Angles and returning to Los Angles. I will never book another cruise with Princess after the way we were treated. The service was nothing like we have received from Carnival and this is the only time I have ever been talked to by staff members of any cruise lines where my wife and myself were insulted and asked to leave and come back when someone else was on working by cruise personnel. Your cruise lines have always been great but if all of Carnival Cruise Lines are like this I will find another lines to book with. I thought you would like to know how people are being treated on this lines that you now own.

  55. Cecil Perdu says:

    I think there should be a carnival cruises for all the obese people , because alot of them are onboard and they really need to lose some punds. It will help them alot and do them good .

  56. Milo Decarlo says:

    uhhh???that is funny most of the people here are fat and they show all skinny people in ther ads

  57. Milo Decarlo says:

    fat people need some help in lsoing weight , ever heard of jenny graig ?

  58. Apirl Shorman says:

    Well I won’t be going to cruises anymore. Makes me sea sick

  59. Donna says:

    I don’t usually write on blogs but I wanted to say how much my husband and I enjoy Carnival cruise line. We have had fantastic experiences on board all the ships we have been on and only one experience that rubbed me the wrong way. For our 25th anniversary cruise Mike had bought us both Carnival robes. He forgot his on board and we did not realize until we got home. I called and wrote and asked if they would send it but was told “no”. Those things are not cheap but more importantly it was for our 25th. But the experience did not taint us against Carnival. It was a lesson for both of us. He needs to pack better and I need to check his packing. We have celebrated our 25th and 26th anniversaries on your line and hope to spend more.
    My husband, Mike, has become such a big Carnival cruise ‘addict’ I jokingly tell him when he retires he will have to work for Carnival. Recently, he found out about your blog via cruise critic and has now added you to his nightly reading list along with the Carnival website and cruise critic. He sits in his corner of the couch laughing at your comments to the point I have had to reassure the grandbabies, G-pa is not crazy. He comments on a regular bases the he would love to be on the same cruise as you one day. We are booked for our 9th cruise on the Imagination out of Miami, Fl Nov. 28. Then our 10th cruise on the Inspiration out of Tampa, Fl on Dec. 3rd (or as Mike likes to say “Our Platinum cruise baby”). That free laundry service seems to mean a lot to him. I was wondering reading your postings are you ever the CD on any cruise out of the U.S?
    FYI: cruise number 11 is already book.
    Thank you
    Donna

  60. Trueman Sanford says:

    Thought you might like this John:

    Great Answers

    In France, at a fairly large conference, Prime Minister Steven Harper was asked by a French cabinet minister if Canadian involvement in Afghanistan was just an example of “empire building”.
    Mr Harper answered by saying, ‘Over the years, Canada has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.’
    You could have heard a pin drop.

    A Canadian Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the Canadian, US, English, Australian and French Navies.
    At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French Admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, North Americans generally learn only English. He then asked, ‘Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?’
    Without hesitating, the Canadian Admiral replied ‘Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.’
    You could have heard a pin drop.

    When Robert Whiting, an elderly Canadian gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on at French Customs.
    ‘You have been to France before, monsieur?’ the customs officer asked sarcastically.
    Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
    The official replied, ‘Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.’
    The Canadian said, ‘The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.’
    ‘Impossible, Monseur. Canadians always have to show passports on arrival in France!’
    The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ‘Well, when I came ashore on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.’
    You could have heard a pin drop.

    • Chris C says:

      Sorry, you’ve attributed all three to Canadians. The first was actually said, albeit, out of context, by Colin Powell, an American. Check Snopes.com.

      The second and third I found by searching but depending on who was quoting it, was changed to THEIR country.

  61. Robert Crane says:

    The (2) words ” Male Prostitute ” you once used in one of your jokes about a lost woman in the hallway looking for her room . If I didn’t have a clue of the meaning of the term “Male Prostitute ” the joke would not have been as funny . I am not naive but your definition is always more humorous. Bob

  62. Judy Harrison says:

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to you and your bride–When ya’ll have been married 42 yrs ( like Hubby and I ) I”ll ask you then how it’s going. CONGRADULATIONS.

  63. Heidi Lawson says:

    I heard a rumor that Carnival is redoing it’s Platnium past guest policy. If so, when? Will they include free drinks like RCCL?

  64. David Predeger says:

    So is Carnival still freaking out about taking travel bikes on a cruise. We did a cruise to Mexico last year and set up our bikes to bike around Key West. The ship security went balistic, whats the deal, it’s only bikes…We travel with our bikes everywhere we go and think it’s a great thing for a cruise.
    David Predeger

  65. Lisa Pentz says:

    John,

    I have sailed with Carnival quite a few times and it was during the first Carnival cruise that I was hooked. I love the ships, the people working for carnival are amazing as is the food and the activities are always lots of fun. There is as much or as little to do as you want. That being said, I just returned from my first cruise on a Celebrity ship. I was invited to join a friend and her family for a trip and, being that I love cruising, decided to go for it. How much could it differ from my favorite cruise line? Boy did I find out. First of all, the average age of the passengers on my most recent cruise was around 70 – I kid you not, I felt like I should be in one of the kids camps on this trip. Celebrity appears to cater to a much more mature crowd and they like it that way. They had no midnight buffets as the majority of the passengers aren’t up past 8:00 p.m. The food was very good but I noted that (1) they did not have chocolate lava cake at all during any meal; and (2) lobster was never offered during the cruise. To make up for the lack of the midnight buffet, they have a brunch buffet on the last full day at sea. It was nice but truly not the beauty that is a Carnival Midnight Buffet.

    A few other things I noted, and they are things I never thought mattered much to me, are the lack of any towel animals. One night I came back to my cabin to find a towel animal on my bed but was not able to identify its species. Our cabin steward rivaled any I have had on Carnival and was outstanding as were the waiters who took good care of us.

    Needless to say, I will be returning to Carnival for my next cruise and have made a promise to myself to stay with Carnival. Why mess with perfection? Thank you to you and all the wonderful people at Carnival who made me realize how spoiled I really was.

  66. John Hornyak says:

    John,
    First, I hope you Heidi and the kids had a wonderful Christmas and are ready for a Happy New Year.
    I recently heard that Ken Burns was assaulted by a crew member on a ship. Is this true? If it is I cannot believe of all the people someone could or would harm him. Please wish him well and a speedy recovery.
    I am hoping to sail with you in the coming year. Things are tough right now, since losing my job of 16 years. I know things will get brighter soon though. Looking forward to hearing your witty banter live in person, as well as on your Blog. Keep up the excellent work…Carnival is so fortunate to have you as their Premier Ambassador!
    JCH p.s. you don’t need to post this
    if possible

  67. shawn benetz says:

    i emailed a while back about reserving the chefs table for my mother and myself on our cruise we are taking 1/21 on dream and did not now how long it takes or how soon before the cruise that i will receive a email if reservations have been made

    thank you

  68. CYNTHIA says:

    Is the Spirit in drydock now? I cant find any information on this.

  69. Cheryl Paraschos says:

    Happy Birthday John!!! You were my first Cruise Director way back in 2006 on the Liberty and I am now a hooked repeat cruiser….going on my first back to back this Saturday on the Dream and so looking forward to it the only thing that would have made it perfect is if you were the Director on it…oh well Cheers :)

  70. Virginia Caputo says:

    Sending best wishes for a very Happy Birthday and many many more!! Hope you had a wonderful day..

  71. Janine Zornes says:

    Dear John,

    By any chance were you the cruise director on the Carnival Pride, 10/2/05 sailing? You seem so familar to me and I’m wondering if that’s why. I love your blog, by the way. Your words, advice and comments are always spot on!

    Cheers!

    Janine

  72. Berta Allen says:

    Hi John, Just wanted to say Thank You very very much for my birthday surprises, (the strawberries, champagne, and Victory ship on a stick). This will definitely be a birthday that I will never forget! Currently touring on the Carnival Victory, and my friend Julie is so jealous of my ship on a stick, I am lording it over her every chance I get. See you on the Magic for the bloggers cruise. Your friend, Bertie

  73. Phyllis says:

    Can’t find the current CD schedule for March 2012, so I’ll just ask:

    Will you be on the Magic for the Mar. 11th sailing too?

  74. Donna says:

    Good Morning John, I just got off the Liberty with the Troublemakers and I just wanted to thank you for all that you do. I am a Platinum cruiser and although things seem to be changing, the staff still went out of their way to accommodate everyone. We had one of the best times ever with Karl. I would love to know where he will be next Jan/Feb. It may make our decision what ship we go on. Ecstasy in Sept, I assume he wont be there.. Thanks again

  75. Stanley Krol says:

    John I will be on the Liberty February 25…my fiance and I are cruising the second time on the Liberty in three years, we are excited to board and enjoy the new venues!I am a Big fan of Guy Fieri, and Captain Morgan. I enjoy reading your blogs and like you on facebook.

  76. David says:

    I will be cruising on the dream on april 21 and I would like to surprise my wife with the Cheif’s Table. My booking is 485pv8.

  77. Deborah Dunn says:

    John, sorry it has taken so long to get this letter to you. Hope you have the time to read it…….sorry it is long. Thank you, Deborah Dunn

    P.S. From now on when people are rude to you, tell them to get the hell off you whale tail……..I’m just thinking out loud.

    February 27, 2012

    John,

    Sorry, but I do think James looks better in the purple dress. However, no one can tell the “Bedtime Story” like you……..you rock it!!!!!!!! John, again, I’m the one that told you my husband and I cheated on Carnival. What a joy it was to meet you on the Conquest. Sadly, we missed you on the Magic. However, James did you proud. I would like to comment on something I never realized or truly never thought of before. While on the Magic (Nov 27th 2011) we met the greatest assistants to James, Lonnie from Australia, Christian from England, Eli from New Zealand (my husband wouldn’t let me bring him home), Nathan and Andrew from PA, USA, Stephanie from Canada ,and please forgive me a very nice girl (that left the ship) that told everyone she was Asian in their play, and last but of my God not least Calvin from Canada the assistant cruise director. While on the cruise we are always so focused on how much fun these individuals are creating for us and having with us. We talk to them about their families and what ships they will be on next. Not until the Magic did I realize just what a family they are. While waiting for platinum guests to leave the ship, On of the crew (from James’ staff was leaving) there were tears and hugs and you could tell how hard it was for them; I cried myself. I guess what I’m trying to say is that those of us that see ourselves as part of the Carnival family should just think about how hard they truly do work for us and take the time to recognize them for it; in person and in pen. Oh yes, there wasn’t a day on the trip that we didn’t see at least 3 or 4 of the above individuals, they made the cruise great. I do have a question……….did you know Calvin is CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My husband and I always have dinner in the supper club, and the supper club on the Magic was UNBELIVEABLE! To our delight we were waited on by Victoria and you would be hard-pressed to find anyone to do a finer job. Another surprise was the MD Drago. We always check the dining room to see where our table is and sure enough we were in a booth. When Drago asked me how he could help me, I just pointed to my husband (close to your size) and told me that will not fit in a booth. Needless to say Drago not only took care of it, we got the first table ever by the window. Every single night Drago stopped by our table. One night my soup was a little cool, the head waiter Troy from Costa Rica ( which by the way was the best we have ever had) told Drago and he told me he would have me a new one the next night (only because I didn’t want then) and he is a man of his word…………..the soup was there and it was hot. Sadly for us, we found that Victoria and Drago are married and will be going to the Liberty so we will not see them in Aug 2012. The two assistant waiters we had were very good, Imade from Indonesia and Dragaa from Serbia. I must tell you that I have never seen anyone work as hard as Dragaa; this man is all over the place. As I told Drago………we hope to soon see Dragaa move up in position. We appreciated his hard work.

    On this trip we celebrated my husband retiring after 40 years in one industry. I ordered a cake from the “Candy Shop” for dinner and it didn’t arrive: no big deal. The next day I spoke with Eva and Dirna at the “Candy Shop – Cherry on Top” and found the cake had been delivered to the steakhouse; again, not a problem. Eva and Dirna took care of the problem and had another cake delivered. However, when it came it was much larger than what I had paid for. We had cake, the waiters had cake, the people at the next table had cake and the room steward had cake…………that wouldn’t happen at the Holiday Inn.

    Augstina from Indonesia was our room steward and Tomas was his assistant. Augstina was great. No matter how many times I asked him not to make my bed after I took a nap, he would make it. Augstina knew every name on the first day. Everyday his smile started your day. Augstina was the most outstanding steward we have ever had. My husband and I have already book the same room for August 2012, and hope that Augstina will still be on the Magic.

    John, there is one last person I would like to tell you about, his name is Szabolcs, from Hungary, and he worked in the dining areas on the Lido deck. Szabolcs is one of those people that you might not notice if you weren’t looking. Szabolcs was always doing his job, he always said something to us everyday as he picked up the dishes from our meal. When I ask him for his name I think he thought I was upset about something until I told him how much it had meant to us that he had taken time out of his day to speak to us. After all, I hope as guests on their ship we never forget how hard they work for us to enjoy ourselves.

    Have a wonderful day on the beautiful MAGIC, and thank you and your Carnival family for all they do for us. See you in Aug 2012 on the MAGIC. Oh yes we have the best PVP, Marianna Ward, she takes the best care of us on each trip…..she rocks.

    Deborah and James Dunn
    Carrollton, Texas

  78. Deborah Dunn says:

    John, I am sad to say that it has been so long since I have booked a cruise by myself that I didn’t know the website has changed. My PVP Maranne Ward has taken such great care of us. When I called her yesterday to get quotes on Hawaii all I had to say was “hello Marianne, this is the crazy people from Texas” and she said, “hello Deborah how is Jimmy doing”. No I want someone to tell me that isn’t service. She is truly great and I hope you will pass this on to Eric The (Great) Beard for me.

    I’m still thinking about my suggestion for the first class trip, let me know.

    Thanks, Deborah

  79. John Tsouris says:

    Hello! I’m a 40 time cruiser on CCL. I called guest services today about an issue, and they suggested I contact you. They said “everyone” at Carnival reads this site and I should type my request here. Let’s see…. Ms. Rein? Are you here?

    I see they have slated the Destiny for a name change. No. Please, no.

    I understand that Carnival is going all-out to fit my favorite ship with a bunch of new amenities, and they want guests to know that the ship will be all new. This is very exciting, and trust me, we will know the ship is new. We do not need a name change to know this.

    If one takes a moment to think about the matter, Carnival has said all the new amenities and shops that are going to be fitted on her will be the “future” of Carnival, or the DESTINY of Carnival, if you will. The ship is already aptly named! If she had already been called the “Sunshine”, they likely would be renaming her the Destiny!

    See what you can do, will you?

    Thanks!

    John Tsouris

  80. Linda Working says:

    HI John,
    To remind you, we have booked our very first CCL cruise on the Liberty leaving 3/24. I am now VERY nervous about the decision with the latest news that the ship has problems. I want to be on your ship now!!!!
    Can you please continue to keep us updated on facebook.
    Celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary and my soon to be 15yr old daughters spring break on this trip that we have waited to take since I broke my leg in July 2011.
    Looking forward to your updates on my trip and as always the antics on your cruises. LOVE that I have found you and your blog. Thanks for being my facebook friend!
    Safe travels to you~Linda from Oregon
    Soon to be in Cabin 7362 on Liberty 3/24

  81. lawrence says:

    john—
    saw you exit the Magic today via the elavator to customs—please be forthcoming and tell me your likes/dislikes of your cruise—I am booked for a cruise on this ship soon and would like to have your ideas as what to do or not do, what venues you enjoyed, which to avoid and on and on

    filll me in!!!!

    thanks

  82. Adam Mehn, Jr. says:

    This is for someone in customer relations and needs attention. I, and my partner recently cruised (fourth Carnival Cruise) on the Conquest out of New Orleans (sailed on 19 February 2012 to the Caribbean)and when we returned home and finally caught up at work were informed yesterday (the 13th)that we were too late to complete ourcomment card.
    This is a situation that I have several comments that would be important to Carnival to hear – but obviously the comment card is “not for real” – only there for Carnival to appease your clients. I will sail again on Carnival – however the next cruise that I am on – the Captain, Cruise Director and anyone else that I can talk to will hear my problems – which start with a published Carnival Policy of “formal night” not allowing shorts, tank tops, torn off blue jeans, etc into the dining room and the policy is not enforced!! How do you think that makes me feel – I am sitting there in a full tuxedo and my guest is in a formal gown – and Carnival does not police its own policy. Not that everyone should be in tux and evening gown – but at least a dress shirt and tie or a fancy dress for the ladies. This is only one of my “problems” and there are others – but the day is done and I have a meeting to go to.

    Maybe you will e-mail me something in return??

  83. david rozek says:

    dear john; is there anyway to provide chairs or speed up registation in miami as my wife has ms. and cannot stand for more than 5 minutes. we enjoy traveling with carnival as this cruise; feb.2,2013 on the liberty will be her second and this is the only complaint she has. everyone one one the boat could not have been any nicer to her or more courteous to her as her days of traveling are getting shorter because of this terrible disease. any help would be greatly appreciated. again thank you.

  84. Takesha Chappell says:

    Please add me to John’s Talk. I am up here on your blog reading everyday and enjoy it. I would like to one day cruise with you, your cruises seem so much fun. Me and my family will be on the Carnival Sensation on Thursday 4/12/2012 for the third time. We love cruising.

  85. Linda Park says:

    The passengers on the upcoming Breeze, 8/02/12 are keeping in touch on the cruise critic thread. We are wanting to meet on board and I thought you may have a suggestion as to what would be good place to mingle? Cocktail, yes! Maybe somewhere teen-tween friendly? Thank you!
    PS I thought the wheezing crack was golden!!!

  86. HUMBERTO SALINAS S. says:

    i did travel lastly from 8 al 15 abril 2012 on magc..beatiful….but, i was deceived for mr. Damian at spa 9…
    he sale me tre things for 280 dls…i don needed , he told me algas algoe for modifiy my PH …dont gave me information clear…
    he told im professional but is not true…
    cober me 35 dolars for consltant…315 totaL..
    IM SEARCHING INFORMATION HE GIVE ME INTERNET AND I DONT FIND NOTHING… IM DISTURB FOR THAT,
    }IM SORRY I DONT SPEAK AND WRITE ENGLESH VERY WELL.
    I WAS GOING WITH MY WIFE AND VERY HAPPY FOR ALL…BUT MR,. DAMIAN NO CONVENCE ME….
    IM GOING FOR PROBLEMS MY STOMACH MY PH…Y SALE ME THREE PRODUCTS..AND NONE FOR THAT…
    HE GIVE ME INTERNET ELEMIS.SPAHOME AND THERE SALES ONLY PRODUCTS FOR BEAUTY…AND I DONT NEED IT…WAIT YOUR ANSWER …8 TIMES AGO USE TRAVEL SERVICES FOR CARNIVAL ..7 TIMES FOR SHIP CONQUEST AND ONLY 1 FOR MAGIC…BEAUTIFUL ABSOLUTLY…TANKS …

  87. Linda S.Weitzel says:

    Hi John,had a marvelous time with my family on the LEGEND last week.Kirk and his crew were amazing;KUDOS to Head Waiter JOEY and his helpers at our table#157,they made my family feel extra special,our granddaughters enjoyed a special treat from them(banana split) and they had the older granddaughter Tiffany dancing,such a wonderful crew.My only little complaint was the evening entertainment,the dancers were o.k.,best nite was the big easy theme,the comedian was o.k., and the singer who was there to do one show only performed for 40 minutes–I could have listened to him for 3 hrs. so please give KIRK,jOEY,and PETER a big THANK YOU from the WEITZEL family!

  88. Tom says:

    I am trying to find out something about a Chefs Table? I am crusing on the Dream 11/3/12. We met a couple in Feb that had signed up for this and recommended. Cananyone help?

  89. Melissa says:

    John, I have probably missed it somewhere, either here or on FB but what does FFS stand for?

  90. Laszlo Toth says:

    John,
    Please post my comment from our last fantastic cruise on the Carnival Valor. We had such a great time because of Matt the cruise director that everyone needs to know how fantastic this guy is. Here is my comment:

    I would like to inform Carnival about our last fantastic cruise experience on the Carnival Valor, booking #535QZ9. We always have a great time when we cruise with Carnival but this was more memorable that the ones in the past (9 other Carnival cruises). The main reason we had such a great time on this cruise is because of your cruise director Matt. We’ve sailed with Matt back in 2009 on the Valor and back then he was just an activity coordinator and we had a blast with him, he was so very entertaining, funny and he made sure everything we did with him was FUN. When we boarded the Valor this time and heard his voice we had to seek him out to make sure that it was him. And that is when the fun started for us. He just so energetic, funny just a great time being around him what ever he does. Unlike some of our other cruises on Carnival we hardly seen the cruise directors. Not Matt he seemed to be everywhere making sure everyone on board had a good time and most of all he wanted all of us to have FUN. We have another booking on the Valor on Oct 27th and just hoping we will get to be with Matt because we will know we will have an enjoyable cruise and have plenty of FUN. Lastly, I see Matt as a great asset to Carnival and I hope he has many, many years on Carnival ships.
    Thank you,
    Laszlo Toth
    #0078105959

  91. carol says:

    John..complaints/ a lady from carnival called me to book another cruise. In short, I told her about an experience we (20) had on the Magic in Nov. 2011. We did not like how the cruise director set the games, etc in several locations around the ship. We did not like the ship in general. You could not walk across the floor on the Lido deck without falling. They cut the movies off before they were over. They did not ture the music off announcments.I could go on and on , however you do nothave the space. It was one of the worst cruises I have been on. All of my other cruises were fantastic.The lady suggested I email you as you were the director. Thanks for your time.

    • John says:

      I felt the two Carnival Ships that run out of Galveston are over priced to begin with. We have a cruise booked at the end of July leaving out of New Orleans (7 days) and its cheaper than 5 day out of Texas.

  92. Garris Graham says:

    “sodding” you seem to use this as an adjective. In Illinois sodding is a verb that means laying down slabs of grass on the dirt & hoping they will take root.

  93. Thanks , John just for being yourself. Being from good English/Irish stock I love to read your blog’s . I also enjoy Carnival. My wife and I are sailing on the Magic in March and can’t wait. We have sailed many other lines but after we sailed Carnival it is the best. Keep up the good work. Retired but not down!

  94. John says:

    Hi John,
    I’ve been in the IT software business for 30 years. The Carnival web site used to explore different cruises and book cruises is rather poorly designed. For example all activities, rooms, look so generic between boat. I sometime find more information about dates, times, and price on other site that sell cruise. I’ve also compared your web site to your competitions and I’m afraid ya’ll you come out at the bottom. I would say your software technology is after 4 to 5 years old. Please past this note on to your IT Planning department. Regards, John Maruscak

  95. aviram cohen says:

    Who was dick little? Breeze june 15 2012

  96. Laszlo Toth says:

    Hello John,
    We’ve been cruising with Carnival the past 8 times. We have two cruises booked, Oct. on the Valor and Jan. on the Breeze. We are taking our daughter this time with us on the Breeze. She loves Sushi. The Sushi was at no charge on all the ships we’ve been on in the past, but I am told that Sushi on the Breeze is not free. Is this so? What is the cost?
    Are you going to be on the Breeze Jan. 5th 2013?
    Thanks very much,
    Laszlo Toth

  97. vicki says:

    Hi John,
    Can you check into 2012 Cruise Director’s Schedule. We sail on Spirit to Alaska July 31, 2012 but online schedule only goes to June. Would like to see who is going to be CD on this particular cruise.
    Thank you.

  98. Stan and Linda Hogan says:

    Dear John,
    My wife and I are in our mid 50’s and have been on 9 cruises so far, all with Carnival and we loved them all, we have another booked in October when we go Platinum, it is on Carnival Liberty which is the Ship we took our first Cruise on in 2006 when you were the Cruise Director, and 2 more back to back booked in January all on Carnival Elation and we can’t wait for them. Recently we decided to try a different type of vacation so we took an All Inclusive to Cancun Mexico, Was that ever a mistake, the Worse vacation of our life, I must say we are a little spoiled since we started cruising with Carnival but let me tell you a little about this experience, The first day there we saw a drowning on the beach, the first 2 days we were constantly harassed to join timeshares or join vacation clubs, this started in the airport and we were even approached on the beach by a man trying to get us to come to another resort. The resort had 14 restaurants (4 were gourmet) and 18 bars, we tries most of them and none came close to Carnival, in fact the best food we had all week was spaghetti, and I can make better spaghetti than what we had there, most of the restaurants were open air restaurants and were very hot, we even watched a large blackbird eating off the desert bar in one restaurant and the staff didn’t seem concerned about it, the bar service was terrible, in 7 days around the pool only once did someone ask if I needed a drink! I didn’t have a cold beer all week, in the morning the beer was cool and by mid afternoon it was almost warm, and it was watered down. All areas in the Resort were very hot except the rooms which were very cold even on the highest setting on the thermostat. The pool was nice early in the morning but by mid afternoon the water was too warn to enjoy. It was so hot with very little breeze around the pool and on the beach that you couldn’t enjoy yourself. The restaurants were only open part time so if you were hungry when they were closed you just had to wait. The resort only had 2 shows they performed, and they alternated them nightly so after the first 2 nights there was nothing left to do except go to a bar and drink warm watered down beer or try to sleep which was impossible since the shows were performed in the garden lobby area of the resort which was right outside your room and they were very loud. The public restrooms on the resort were NASTY!!
    Only 1 time in the entire week was I referred to by name, they had no hand sanitizer anywhere, we paid extra for Ocean Front room and got Garden View with no refund, they even charged $5 a day to use the safe in the room! In comparison on a Carnival Cruise the Food is Wonderful, The service is Great, There is always someone offering to bring you a drink, everyone is very friendly and by the second day you are referred to by name, there is always so much to do on a Carnival Cruise Ship that I am never able to do everything in 7 or 8 days, so to sum it up we had no good experiences on the All Inclusive, and on Carnival Cruises Everything is Wonderful so from now on when we take a vacation it will be on a Carnival Cruise Ship.

    Stan and Linda Hogan

  99. LORRI BOATRIGHT says:

    JUST WANTED TO BRAG ON BUTCH A LIL BIT, I CRUISED WITH MY DAUGHTER KIMBERLY IN APRIL 2012, IT WAS A MOTHER DAUGHTERS CRUISE, MY OTHER DAUGHTER KOURTNEY DIED 4 YRS AGO FROM A BRAIN TUMOR, WE LL ANYWAYS BUTCH MENTIONED OUR “MOTHER DAUGHTER CRUISE” ON HIS MORNING SHOW, AND TALKED ABOUT KOURTNEY, I SELL WEAR GREY IN MAY TSHIRTS, TO GET PPL AWARE OF MAY BEING BRAIN TUMOR AWARENESS MONTH, HE EVEN MENTIONED THAT…..IT WAS HUMBELING TO ME AND MY DAUGHTER KIMMY THAT HE WLD EVEN TAKE A MINUTE TO AGKNOWLEDGE KOURTNEY AND ACTUALLY CARE SO MUCH ABOUT OUR CAUSE…..ANYWAYS IT MENT ALOT TO ME, I WILL NEVER FORGET IT…..AND I KNOW KOURTNEY IS SMILING

  100. Lynn says:

    John, Thanks for all you do and all the great info!! Question, Husband and I will be sailing on The Liberty Feb 16th then getting off and on to The Victory. Victory will be my 10th cruise, will they know I will be Platamin?? How do I get those tags for my bags?? So excited!! Thanks, Lynn

  101. Kimberly Hasson says:

    John
    I must admit I love reading your blog as it gets sent to my email as you post. Being from Canada, I find no errors in your spelling, or “slang” as some call it. We just came back from London England( my daughter who has cystic fibrosis, won a trip for us to the olympics) I loved England, and would visit there again, if my pocket book allowed it. I write to let you know that we are not all haters of your words. I get a jolly good chuckle from many postings, and just stare at my computer screen with my mouth gapping open at some of the demands and requests the cruise guests have demanded. My mother and I are sailing together for the very first time on January 12, aboard the Liberty. We are leaving husbands and children at home, and having some mother and daughter bonding time. I must admit I am giddy with anticipation! My mother is approaching 70 and I just turned 40, am am also living with cystic fibrosis. This is both our bucket list trip. I am truly so thankful for your blog, it has given me an insight on what to except and what is a little too DEMANDING!!! Lol! We have reservations for the steakhouse and confirmations with the chef’s table. Being a culinary student, I am so thrilled with this. We have our exersions booked and paid, and now we are saving our pennies for spending( which will be proven hard to do , as Canada is getting rid of their copper currency soon) I am looking forward to our cruise, and I will be sure to share with you the outcome. Thank you for your wit, and skillful tongue biting replies. All the best from your Queen worshipping sisters in the north land.

  102. Eileen says:

    hi, how do I get an upgrade after I have already paid and I will be sailing in 3 weeks? I booked two staterooms, one for me and one for my two daughters, (19 and 22 years old) but their room is just a box, no window. I did not book through a travel agent.

  103. Hal Hoffman says:

    John, picturing you sitting around in your under pants is more than my IMAGINATION can Bear!! I’ll bet you day DREAM about stolling down the Promenade deck in all your SPLENDOR. I can imagine what it is like in your cabin when the BREEZE gets a little windy! The SENSATION must have a certain amount of FACINATION!! Now that you are a LEGEND on Carnival, it may be your DESTINY to bask in the SHINSHINE with cute young women flocking around like they are in ECSTACY!! That must bring a certain amount of ELATION, like living on a floating PARADISE! And the VALOR of coming to so many peoples aid must give a sense of VICTORY! And the FREEDOM to come and go on so many different ships must put you in your GLORY! And as a Gentleman, we are sure a CONQUEST is kept in confidence! But you are at LIBERTY to have a FANTASY or two! But keeping in the SPIRIT of Carnival all the time must sometimes be like a MIRACLE, and something you must take PRIDE in. Since you are such an INSPIRATION, It must feel for you like a real TRIUMPH!

  104. Judy Harrison says:

    John, just read the comments that a passenger ( Wanda Macateer-her spelling ) sent you about the person in the cabin next to hers smoking on HIS balcony–Hubby and I both smoke ( him cigars & me cigs ). We have paid for our cruise on The Magic for March 17, 2013 and will be smoking on OUR balcony that WE have paid for. If she feels this way why why doesn’t she buy the cabins on either of her to make sure this does not happen or go on a TOTAL SMOKE FREE cruise line. Why should my vacation be ruined that I paid for just for her. Sorry I bent your ear but people like this tick me off. Have a GREAT DAY.

  105. cheri says:

    I was on the freedom when she was new and in europe-i cannot remember what was the cruise directors name-he is awesome and also again i saw him again after that on the freedom-Please send me his name and tell me which ship he is on–i am on the dream, nov 10 and was wondering if he is on that ship. I have clients on the breeze for new years and hope they get to meet you. Thanks cheri nikzad, travel agent.

  106. Arlene Frewin says:

    Since you are asking about those cruises, and which we would prefer, my preference would be the one on the Sunshine. The reason is, because we sailed on the Destiny, for our 5th wedding anniversary with some of our favourite (spelt correctly) people, and would now like to see the changes in her, since her refitting. Thanks

  107. Sarah Long says:

    Hello John,
    My rate dropped from
    Old Rate $489 Total $1466.07
    New Rate $346 Total $1432.43
    By the time I emailed in the Early saver protection form, cabins may have been booked but at the time I submitted my request for an obstructed room of 3 people on deck 4 was a total of 1432.43. I along with Warren the cruise person we book through acknowledged the rate drop and would like my room to be lowered per the new rate.
    We have other people traveling in other cabins that had the rate reduced. They are in the same cabin type on the same floor literraly one to the right and one to the left of us. The 4th cabin is a few cabins down but still is an obstructed view room on the same deck with, same room type.
    We have traveled on 5 cruises through Carnival and have used the early saver form in the past. We book far ahead of time so we can travel together in the same cabins and recieve the best rates possible.
    I recieved the denial yet our other cabins were discounted :-(
    Thank you
    Sarah

  108. Mandy Gulley says:

    Hi John

    I just got back from a visit home to Blighty and found a Spotted Dick chocolate bar…How awesome…. chocolate and a great pudding in one bar YUM YUM…Maybe Heidi can load you up on some!

  109. David Noah says:

    Hello John,
    We sailed with you a few years ago from Rome. I was curious, we are sailing on the Miracle on Nov. 20 and their Cruise Director is leaving on the 7th. Is there a possibility you might replace him since it is listed as TBA? We thoroughly enjoyed our time with you and would love another chance to spend a week listening to your stories and morning report. Please, if there is a way, it would be great.

  110. Rebecca Kochenour says:

    So according to your own definitions, you have a penis disclaimer link. Wow, you must be a riot ;)

  111. MARILYN CRUZ says:

    existe algun lugar para quejas sobre el servicio de carnival

  112. Karen says:

    Could you please tell me where the laundry facilities are on the Carnival Breeze? Thank you.

    • Lawrence Shadeed says:

      Hi Karen, there are quite a few laundry facilities on the Breeze. I was on deck 2 last Sept. The laundry facility was towards the rear of the ship. Ask your cabin steward, they can tell u exactly where they are in relation to your cabin. Take a little bottle of detergent with you, cheaper than the ship. There is even an iron for you to use in the laundry rooms. Hope this was helpful.

  113. Dave Delaney says:

    So the Imagination is coming to California… to do what the Inspiration is already doing? Send the Imagination down to Cabo!! 6 and 8 days. Ask people… Ensenada or Cabo? We have gone from 4 ships… Elation, Paradise, Splendor, Spirit. To 2 ships…Inspiration, Imagination? and they are both going to do Ensenada, Catalina run? BORING!

  114. Fred says:

    I heard it is possible to serve as a host on a cruise for widows and single ladiesSounds pretty good especially if I get paid to do it! Where do I learn more? Thanks.

  115. Daniel t. says:

    Hi Mr. Heald,

    Is it possible that you could help me with a proposal? I want to ask my gf to marry me on our carnival conquest cruise March 3. I was going to ask for your help on Facebook but I didn’t want her to see my post.

  116. Lawrence Shadeed says:

    Hi John, going on the Breeze this April 7 out of Miami (sailed on the Breeze last Sept. in Europe, loved it). The CD schedule does not show who will be the CD on that cruise? Can you let us know. Hoping it would be you and Calvyn.

  117. Michael S. Plummer says:

    Hi John, my wife, Eileene, and just had the best cruise ever……Bloggers Cruise 6.
    It was an absolute pleasure meeting you, Calvin, Ken, Pierre, The Carnival Breeze CD, ACD, Staff, along with fellow Bloggers. We are looking forward to BC7.

  118. Russ Groman says:

    John, I have a concern over rates. We booked the South America sailing Feb 20, 2013 from Valparaiso – Buenos Aires back in August 2012. We paid $3817 for a 8A – 8F balcony. Since final payment time, the rate has dropped $1000 and I find out there is NO price protection on PAST GUEST rates anymore, only early or super saver rates. Why not? We are diamond cruisers. It seems there should be some benefit for cruisers like us, and those that book 3 weeks out from sailing should pay a higher rate, but it appears to fill cabins, they lower prices. I could not have waited until NOW to book this trip for many reasons, one being getting time off work in advance approved among other things. So someone could get a booking 3 weeks out and pay $2717 for the same thing I did 5-6 months ago. Not really a fair deal for FREQUENT cruisers who plan in advance. I would have liked to save that $1000 I work hard for but I think I do the right thing planning in advance. I cannot book 3 weeks out for a cruise to get these “cheap rates”. We love Carnival but this has really been unbelieveable seeing these rates drop. Our friends going with us, have an inside cabin, they paid $2547 or so for, now they COULD upgrade to a balcony for less than what WE PAID for. I think its a bit unfair. I am in travel business and the usual thing is that rates are MORE closer in than lower. We did send correspondence to Guest relations and I put on your facebook page but too much garbage was coming back on it from peopl ewho DID NOT understand.

    • Alex Aguilar says:

      Russ, you should send a message to them or post on Facebook. That is not very fair for Carnival to not offer any price protection. When I booked with Carnival my rep told me I would be allowed an upgrade or one price improvement if I saw the cabin listed on Carnival or another website for less money. Seems like they should honor that.

    • Debbie Caughlin says:

      The same thing happened to us for our European cruise in June. We booked in November, checked prices a few weeks ago and the price had been reduced over $600 per cabin. I called, emailed, sent John a message, but got no resolution. We are Platinum cruisers. I was offered an upgrade, which they did when I specifically said I did not want one (we are already on Empress), because we have adjoining cabins/balconies with friends. Our cabins were then reassigned to different locations on the ship. Luckily, we were able to retrieve the original cabins. I think that being punished for booking early, especially when you are a Platinum or Diamond cruiser, is ridiculous! This may be my last Carnival cruise!

  119. Doug says:

    Hi John,
    I am trying to get a high-res shot of Steve Cassel and I see on your site here that you have a nice shot of him with the turtle. Would it be possible to get a high-res copy of that shot? Thanks!
    Doug

  120. Rod Evans says:

    John, God day and thanks for all that you do to keep us up with everything Carnival. I’m writing this getting ready for our families first cruise. (Me and the wife first was 11-11 on Valor) We had a great time and now we are taking the 3 kids on spring break 3-4 on the Victory. I just wanted to say Thanks for all the positive energy and humor in your post and the fun that you share. You provide a great service to us and Carnival. With all that has gone on in the past week I just wanted to say THANKS!

  121. Elizabeth says:

    I wish that I could have Spotted Dick on my May 25 birthday cruise on the Triumph. I don’t think that I can make it because I can’t handle metric recipes.

  122. omarbenfekih says:

    I WANT TO WORK WITH YOUR CRUISE IN RESTAURANT SPECIALITY

  123. cindy says:

    I would just like to say now that all these problems have happened. And i’m sure they will be addressed maybe you can look into your help as well have cruised many lines and carnival 3 of the last recent and I have to say that the staff on the lido deck and bar staff as well as desk help are anything but pleasant. I was flabbergasted with the service in these area’s I have not been back on carnival since. Our waiter was wonderful and cabin steward was great but everyone else needs as much over haul as the engines.

  124. Jewels of da sea says:

    Hello John,
    I just want to thank you for arranging our friends to dine with us and the round table with the ocean view. You really made our cruise a lot of fun at dinner time.
    Thanks for the goodies u sent to my room & the nice note. We loved the Freedom! Thanks again for all you do for us cruisers.
    Love ya! Take Care!
    Jewels of Da Sea

  125. Barb C. says:

    Hi John!

    I wrote to you awhile back and thought I’d send my question again. If you’ve already answered, I must have missed it… sorry!

    My group of about 10-12 will be aboard the Conquest in October and are looking forward to another wonderful Carnival experience.

    Although this will be my fourth cruise aboard Carnival’s ships, one thing has changed since my previous three cruises. I am Vegan. I do not consume any meat or dairy products. My question is this:

    Is it possible to request meat/dairy-free entrees in the MDR without having to subsist on steamed veggies and fruit plates all week? If not, am I allowed to bring my own food to the dining room? If I could at least bring my own vegan condiments, such as buttery spreads, that would be great.

    Please let me know how I should plan for this.

    I appreciate your time! Thanks!

  126. Ivy says:

    A short comment… Did you know that Megan Fox has funky thumbs. A little ways back, I was reading an article and it was mentioned. Thought I’d share. Hope you don’t have to search for a new celebrity crush….

    I have something else I’d like to add but I’m not allowed as you said it should be related to above.

    Hope to see you on the cruise!

  127. Ron Whetsten says:

    John, sorry to use this comment section, but I’m out of ideas. I have been wanting to ask a question but for the life of me I can’t find your “ask John tab” anywhere on your blog or any other page for that matter. HELP!!!

  128. dylan says:

    hey john
    its me again. Dylan wright, I talked to you a while ago about the 7 day out of jaxport to grand turk on the fascination on 5/11/13
    I asked if you could help me ask my girlfriend to marry me.you told me to contact you a week befor we sail. its two weks before but I thought I would just do it now.
    pretty much what I want to do is get pulled on stage at the welcome aboard show to ask her…ive got a letter typed up telling her and I to answer questions about the ship and we can “win a prize”..and that the winner will be announced at the show.
    what I need from you is to have somewhere and someone for me to”turn in the answers” to, and the host of the welcome aboard show to call annathea and I up to the stage, have me go back stage to sign some stuff while she reads the answers aloud and then host says ok are you ready for the last question? its a yes or no answer…just turn around, and ill be on one knee etc etc
    can you still help me out?

  129. Kathleen says:

    Good Morning John. My husband and I are taking our 14 yr old twin granddaughters on their first cruise June 6th. It is only a 3 day, hopefully they will be hooked, just as I am lol. Just wondering if Circle C on the Sensation will be offering any excursions for their age group? I want this to be memorable for the girls. Thanks in advance for any advice.

  130. Susan says:

    John,
    1st of all I want to say Thank you so much for making our 30th Wedding Anniversary so special! We sailed on the Legend out of Venice Italy May 4th and had the time of our Lives. If you remember this was our 13th cruise all with Carnival and all done in 5years!!!
    You sent us Champange – Choc. covered Strawberries and our Ship on a Stick!!
    Thank you Thank you so very MUCH !!
    Very Special Memories were made.
    2nd of all ;)
    Brian is writing a Review on how wonderful our experience was on (Cruise Critic) I will be happy to send you the link if you like. Let me know if you would like it or not.

    Thank you so much again and do know we have our 14th Cruise booked and paid for Nov. 4th 2013 on the Carnival Ecstasy!! Only 166 days to go :)

    Ciao Susan Marie Fey

  131. John,
    We were on the Breeze transatlantic in November 2012, when a large lady knocked you over, that had to hurt? We will be on the Sunshine back to back (Venice to Barcelona to New Orleans) in October & November 2013, Will you be on the Sunshine at that time?

  132. rick and rita says:

    John:
    We just returned from a recent cruise on May 16th, on Carnival Ecstasy. It was my 30th and my beautiful wife of 33 years, 32nd cruise. I have to say without a doubt, it as the best dining room experience we have had. We were at table 383, Wind song Dining room, Early Dining. Needless to say after all these Carnival cruises, to have this experience on a 4 day short getaway, was Fantastic! Our headwaiter, Paulbert was from Jamacia, but I ‘d have bet you he was from England. He had a strong British accent, more so than you. We sailed twice with you, one on the Glory and then on the Dream.
    Our assistant waiters, Ywamanand Henry, never let us run out of anything, from rolls to wine. I mentioned to Josie, our Maitrede`, about the excellent staff we had, but if you could pass it on also, I would greatly appreciate it, as they deserve the “atta-a-boy!”
    I would also like to mention our casino host. He did a great job ans also should be commended. He always came by to talk to us, myself at the tables and my wife at the slots. He went out of his way to make our time losing money – GREAT! Ha! HA!
    We would also like to mention one of the lido staff that went above and beyond for us. His name was Dorwin and he was a ball of energy.
    We will be sailing on the Breeze on July 25th – 8 day and the Paradise on Nov. 7th. Would love to see you again and smoke another cigar with you. Getting real, real, close to diamond, could use any help you could give us. Three cruises we were diamond and with the change, we were demoted so to say. If possible, please forward this to Maitre’d Josie, so he knows we were serious about his excellent staff.
    Thanks for another great cruise.
    Rick and Rita Harris

  133. Cathy Paquette says:

    woot!woot! We are coming on our honeymoon! Feb 1, 2015 Carnival Conquest, Eastern Caribbean. We booked and paid for our trip this past weekend and our best man and matron of honour booked with us. We can’t wait. Unfortunately we couldn’t afford to have our wedding with Carnival at Half Moon Cay but we are definitely going to celebrate in style after. And I will be celebrating graduation as well (hopefully..LOL). We are sooooo excited!

  134. Bei Li says:

    Dear John,

    I booked CARNIVAL SUNSHINE 09/AUG/2013 for 9 days Europe Itinerary. I’d like join “Chef’s Table” program with my son Edward Cheng. Could you please sign us in? We’re going to have a special VIP experience. We’re so exciting,and looking forward to treating our taste buds to the experience of a lifetime.

  135. Maria C. Flores says:

    I am planning a family vacation for summer 2014. With 3 kids in college, I need to be prepared for any extra expense. I would like to know where I can find the prices of the extra such as the spa ect. (this will be our visit family trip in 13 years)
    Thank you

  136. Maria C. Flores says:

    John another question, I am unsure how to select stateroom (its asking about deck). We have never been on a ship and I do not like rooms to closed in. But I would like to stay on a budget. Can you give me any recommendations on the what would be the best stateroom for a first time traveler.

    • Russ says:

      What extras are you looking for? What ship are you on? Because depending on that, extras such as STEAKHOUSE, CUCINA DEL CAPITANO restaurants, CHEFS TABLE are some REALLY GOOD extras. Steakhouse is $35 pp, If you are on a newer ship, Magic, Breeze, Sunshine, Cucina Del Capitano is $12pp. Chefs table is a specialty for $75 but is a great experience. The ocean view cabins are best for ample space. How many are in 1 cabin? You mentioned family vacation. Balconies are about the same space. As far as your other question, most of the spa prices are at the spa on the ship, although pricey, you would want to check that out when you board by just getting a pricing sheet from them at their lobby.

  137. Sondra says:

    Who is “H82SEAUGO”??? I’ve been wondering that forever.

  138. claea Jaeck says:

    When will Carnival come out with brochures?

  139. Rona says:

    I was truly inspired by your story about
    I Komang. Some of us don’t think about the wonderful staff on Carnival that work so hard to make every nook and cranny look so clean, serves us awesome food and beverages, entertaining us, etc. So many serving us in different capacities. I will make an effort to get to know one of those hard working miracle workers that clean up after my husband, daughter and myself. I want to make a new friend on Sunshine Feb 9th. Thank you John. See you then.

    • Carolyn Dickerson says:

      I agree with you Rona 100%..we have never been on Carnival and had anything less than great crew members…..We enjoy chatting with the staff and yes, some are hard to understand, but so are the ‘youth’ of today…lol…..We will be on the Sunshine the last week in January….Counting the days….Carolyn & Jim Dickerson

  140. frances tomasi says:

    hi John, My husband Kevin and I have cruised on Carnival about 40-45 times over the past 20 some years and we met you a long time ago. We remember when you and Heidi got married, so how come they say we are not past guests we were platinum cruisers up till 3 yrs ago when Kevin had a stroke and we could not travel and now we want to cruise again, do we lose all the past benefits we earned over the past 20 odd years, Please let me know cause we are looking to book for November, Thanks Fran and Kevin Tomasi

    • frances tomasi says:

      Hi John, I think I might have deleted my last message so here I go again, My husband Kevin and I have cruised in Carnival probably40-45 times over the past 20 some years , we met you a long long time ago, even before you and Heidi were married, I am wondering why we are not considered past cruisers when we were platinum cruisers 3 yrs ago, we haven’t cruised because Kevin had a stroke and was unable to go, but now we want to cruise again and are looking to November, do we lose all the past cruiser benefits we had because we haven’t cruised in 3 yrs. Please let me know, Thanks Fran and Kevin Tomasi

  141. Megan says:

    What is FFS?

  142. mark wisner says:

    John, I liked your Facebook updates to a point. Recently you seemed to have gone Facebook crazy. I would see 4 or 5 updates a day. Sorry but I had to un-like you so my news feed would not be overtaken by your posts. I will consider liking you again when you appear to have gotten you Facebook obsession under control. Maybe one post a day with links to content rather than a post for each thing would be a little more consumable.

  143. Chris & Mary V. says:

    Hi John, You don’t remember us, but you are the best Cruise Director. You are funny!! We sailed with you April 28th on Valor starting from Barcelona. Although Air Berlin lost our luggage, it was the best cruise ever. I was the guy who’s wife you asked what kind of animal am I. A bear. A bear with no hair. You also said me and another bald guy should put our bald heads together and make an ass.We will take cruses in the future base on if you’re on the ship

  144. larry says:

    Hi John
    We have cruise with Carnival 8 times. So far we have had excellent cruises. One on the Freedom with You and Ken Bryne Matre De our favourite We know changes is a constant. Changes in entertainment and bands are not so great .However we discovered the Repositioning cruise on the Carnival Splendor on Nov 1 with a great itinerary and new ports to boot Great . it’s a keeper . from San Juan to Miami Couldn’t ask for better. We’re back
    kruise runner

  145. Randy Smith says:

    Good Morning, John!!! It’s a beautifl morning at sea on the Carnival Miracle! Dianr and I have decided that that a 15-nighter each just the right length for a Fun Ship Cruise! Today is Day 8, and normally the nice folks here on a Fun Ship make us leave today (or yesterday)! We are overjoyed to have another week of our cruise remaining, instead of eating our final breakfast in the MDR this morning and having to leave our “home” ib Cabin 4217! We have avoided (somewhat) the middle of the cruise depression that normally occurs when your cruise is winding down by booking two more cruises for later this year. Having 3-4 booked ahead of time always makes an addict (Yes, I know I’m addicted) feel a bit better! Well, I need to go get ready for breakfast in the MDR and our excursion to Waimea Canyon! Cheers, Mate!

  146. Judy Harruson says:

    John, I am so sorry for your loss. In a way I know what your mother is going through. My late Hubby passed away December 3, 2012. We were married 43 1/2 years and for 10 1/2 of those years I took care of him. He dearly love to cruise with Carnival. Last May while on the Magic would have been our 44th anniversary and it hurt that he was not there beside me BUT he was there in my heart. So glad you are back and I will be sailing on the Magic August 10th and counting the days.

  147. Randy Smith says:

    Good Morning, John! Although I sent you a card via Mischelle and posted on your FB Page, I want to send you my condolences an dprayers one more time. I hope you are feeling a bit better by now, my friend. On a different note, I was walking across the Lido Deck this morning where another chap was enjoying a cigar. Another thing I’ll miss next month on the Bloggers Cruise is “Cigars Under the Stars” with you and Calvyn. We’ll be sure not to book a winter cruise for early 2015 until you post the dates for BC8. I also want to pass a Kudo or two along to you for Adrienn who works nights at the Purser’s Desk here on the Miracle. She is always warm and friendly when I stop by for my OWN Carnival Caper (Fun Times) at 6:00 A.M. since Diane claims the one in our cabin Adrienn starts my day off great all the time. The folks on a Fun Ship are always so wonderful, but she’s exceptionally so!

  148. Barry L. Pepper says:

    Dear sir: we have travel with carnival twice in the past 2003 aboard the conquest and in 2103 aboard the Magic wonderful cruise now we have book before feb 28 2014 on the triumph and did not receive or on board discount that where describe in the flyer sent in the mail or the discount for family cruise please reply thank you Barry L. Pepper

  149. Marsha Rozell says:

    Dear John,
    Please Respond,

    First, I love your blog! MY husband and I will be sailing the fascination on March 17, U222 (A Balcony!!), and will be celebrating my birthday and my husband leaving for the military. We have two kids under five so this is a huge deal! My question is, what is the best thing for us to do onboard or in port ( we will visit nassau and little stirrup cay) to celebrate this special time in our life?

  150. asophieyou says:

    Hi John!

    Your blog is amazing and I’m reading it cover to cover due to ultimate bored-ness (I’m on the Carnival Miracle right now). Just a suggestion: Carnival should offer more free sites on the ship, like Google, Bing, Gmail, Outlook, or anything that might be critical to guests. I find the wireless plans very expensive and would like to see more free sites (like I have listed above). Thanks. :)

    • Parker says:

      I agree, but people could go ANYWHERE they wanted to go if they could search up stuff on Google or Bing. Think of it like a road that could connect the continents. Good idea, but there are a lot of people who could take advantage of that. (Raises hand) Like me.

  151. Mark says:

    We have approximately 100 people from our Cruise Critic group meeting at the Poseidon Bar on the Carnival Valor at 10:00PM on March 23rd. I called Carnival and the pointed me to the special needs number. I left a message and never heard back. I just wanted to give them a heads up so the bartender does not jump overboard when we all show up. If there is a better place we should meet, we are open for suggestions.
    Thanks

  152. HAPPY ENDING says:

    U DA MAN

  153. Linda Cochran-Lay says:

    Hello from the Carnival Magic – sitting peacefully in the Gulf of Mexico initially due to fog but currently awaiting word on the closed Port of Galveston due to reported oil spill in Galveston. The crew is wonderful in keeping us current on any news while feeding and entertaining us well. Thanks Carnival for always doing all you can to take care of us!!!

  154. Parker says:

    Couldnt some one buy a cheap WiFi hotspot from Best Buy and not have to pay for the FunHub fees in the internet cafe?
    (I’m not doing this)But just telling you that you should keep that in mind.

    -Parker

  155. linda cook says:

    what do you think of the four Spanish Ibero cruise ships that Costa have purchased and what do you of actual cruises are they value for money. John please make a comment

    • linda cook says:

      Dear John,
      I wish to join your blog but I do not like giving my card number on line, is there any other way I can pay.
      Just to make you aware Michael Rohr who used to be Director of Guest experience on Aida Cruises and is now working for Ibero is leaving the organization, what a shame he is so good at his job. If I manage to join I will tell you the storey on how I met him.

  156. linda cook says:

    what do you think of the four Spanish Ibero cruise ships that Costa have purchased and what do you actual think of the cruises are they value for money. John please make a comment

  157. linda cook says:

    John, what do you think of the four Spanish Ibero ships that Costa has purchased and what are the cruises like

  158. careen says:

    FFS John?? Love your Posts and blogs!!

  159. Christina Spencer says:

    Hi John!

    My husband and I were married while at port in St Thomas just this past April while cruising onboard Liberty. Our wedding hostess was extremely negligent and not at all helpful. We were made to feel we were an inconvenience due to my father being in a wheelchair as well. This was disheartening as we always have only positive things to say about our cruises and Carnivals staff. I shared my dilemma with the wedding department once back home and the response I received was less than satisfactory. There wasn’t even an offer as simple as a free drink on our next cruise…

    Regardless, we’ve decided to take another chance on Carnival and will sail on the Glory July 5th for our honeymoon. We are typically very low maintenance, easy-going people. However, after the expense of our Carnival wedding and the fact that we brought along an additional 9 staterooms worth of passengers, I think an upgrade would be a nice way to compensate us for the strife endured on our wedding day (and the days leading up to it). I contacted the wedding department in reference to this 2 weeks ago and no one has replied to date. We booked an ocean view thanks to the generosity of our friends and family but would find it more enjoyable and relaxing (it is after all our honeymoon) to take in the scenery from a balcony. Any advice? Thanks :-)

  160. Tracy says:

    We are going on the carival victory in August on the 23rd do you know anything our ship intenerary.

  161. James Eager says:

    I had a question on June 11 and you forwarded it to someone for a response. No response yet. So, I will make my question easier to figure out and maybe someone can answer it this time.

    For destination Aruba, the Scuba dive tour states, participants are limtied to 350 lbs. Then it states only gear to size XL is available.

    Are they limiting guests based upon weight, or on the limits of their gear? I would like to take this tour, but am about 20 lbs over the limit. However, I have all my own gear to bring (Except tanks, which are one size fits all). So, are they going to refuse service, or not? I need to know as it will effect which cruise I choose next. (My wife and I are Gold, my father and Step mother Platinum)

    All other destinations Carnival serves do not have this strange wording, so I am curious/cautious.

    I have heard from a second source now, Sand Dollar (Your Scuba / snorkel tour operator in Cozumel) is not a safe group to go with. Please, for everyone’s safety, find someone else. I reported several times to Carnival as a witness to a dive accident that occured to a Carnival pasenger when I went out with them. I have yet to receive even an acknowledgement of the letter I sent. I was a witness, not the victim, so I was giving you the facts for any investigation you might be forced to undertake. The passenger injured ended up in the hospital. The only witnesses were the boat crew, the victim and the victim’s husband, besides myself.

  162. Bunny LaMere says:

    Hi John,
    I am so excited to be going on my first cruise on December 1, 2014. Me and 17 of my senior friends are having 3 birthday parties on Carnival Triumph’s 5 day Caribbean cruise. We only have another 131 days to wait. The waiting is SOOOOO hard.
    Your blog and talk are so great.
    Thanks
    Bunny

  163. Lolly G says:

    I recently called Carnival for questions my family had on rooms and balconies. We love connecting balconies to share our mornings sipping coffee and just enjoying the gorgeous sunrise and sunsets. Well my customer Care representative..Peter Hoofat (82973) met my every need and questions to help us find exactly the rooms we are looking for. Can’t wait to book our next cruise….Thanks Peter!!

  164. George Brust says:

    Would you be so kind as to reassign Ken Byrnes the singing Maitre’D to the January 31, 2015 sailing of the Breeze out of Miami. I know you have incredible influence with Carnival and we have sailed with Ken several times before and do so much miss his level of professionalism and crooning. Thank you John. Bye the bye, you were our very first Cruise Director on our first carnival cruise. That was on the Triumph in 2004…perhaps you could join us also on the cruise along with Ken.

  165. BOBBY RECARD says:

    going on the sunshine In 4 weeks has anyone been on it ? like to hear form someone .

  166. Martin says:

    Hello John, I was wondering if theres anyway I could book my son and his friend a room, there both 15 years old and pretty much smart enough to handle themselves. My own son has been on 7 cruises and this will be his 8th. So again question is Can i book my son a room for him and his friend?

  167. Diane says:

    What is FFS?

    Love your blog, we sailed with you on the Legend last May to the Mediterranean had a wonderful time.

    We are sailing again on the Splendor Oct. 4, Malcolm Burns has big shoes to fill!

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