Spotted Dick — Get your mind out of the gutter. This is not something you get after visiting Madame Claudette at a Paris brothel…….it’s my favourite desert. Here is the recipe.
Humour — Or any other word where You have dropped the U!
The French — We should invade…………it’s not like they are going to put up a fight, is it?
Barney the Dinosaur — I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, when a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor……..no more sodding purple dinosaur.
Megan Fox — I’m sorry, I just drooled all over my keyboard and can’t finish th…
Blogger — Somebody who actually reads this blog. Can you believe such people exist?
Aston Martin DBS — Yes. Please. A free cruise* to anyone who rents or buys me one.
PA 007 — The man………….or woman………….who tells me whats happening at the world of Carnival so I can tell you. No clues to his or her identity but I can tell you…………he or she likes Hot Dogs and tends to shout “WooHoo” when they are happy.
Latvian Women — Home to some of the best rumpy-pumpiers in the world………… allegedly……………if Heidi is reading this. A free cruise* in a Penthouse to anyone who rents or buys me an Aston Martin DBS with a baked Latvian model in the front seat.
Rumpy-pumpy — Something I used to get every Thursday but now happens as infrequently as a great French military victory.
High-visibility jacket — Something that everyone who works at Carnival HQ in Miami is required to wear, just as surely as I’m now required to wear pants when blogging.
Beard — According to the employee handbook, every male employee at Carnival HQ is required to wear one of these, and a few of the women have even decided to! A beard is someone who eats Tofu, uses terms such as “Blue Sky Thinking” and “Reach Out,” gets sexually excited by any new Apple product, and stands in the way of brilliant ideas *like this one.
Stephanie — A genuinely nice, intelligent girl who works for Carnival. I’ve lost count of how many Stephanies have been produced so far in PA 007’s secret genetics lab at Carnival HQ.
Bollocks — Used in a sentence “what a load of bollocks” means what a load of garbage…………..well…………….maybe a bit stronger than that.
Thingy — Your gentleman’s sausage.
Bugger— Simply the best word to use when something makes you mad, upset or pretty much any emotion. Try using it today.
Miami Heat — The greatest sports team…………………….in the world.
Is there another word I use that you’ve read over 30 times and still have have no clue what I’m talking about? Leave suggestions in the comment section below and I will have at it, in my underpants, of course.