Spotted Dick — Get your mind out of the gutter. This is not something you get after visiting Madame Claudette at a Paris brothel…….it’s my favourite desert. Here is the recipe.
Humour — Or any other word where You have dropped the U!
The French — We should invade…………it’s not like they are going to put up a fight, is it?
Barney the Dinosaur — I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family, when a shot rang out and Barney hit the floor……..no more sodding purple dinosaur.
Megan Fox — I’m sorry, I just drooled all over my keyboard and can’t finish th…
Blogger — Somebody who actually reads this blog. Can you believe such people exist?
Aston Martin DBS — Yes. Please. A free cruise* to anyone who rents or buys me one.
PA 007 — The man………….or woman………….who tells me whats happening at the world of Carnival so I can tell you. No clues to his or her identity but I can tell you…………he or she likes Hot Dogs and tends to shout “WooHoo” when they are happy.
Latvian Women — Home to some of the best rumpy-pumpiers in the world………… allegedly……………if Heidi is reading this. A free cruise* in a Penthouse to anyone who rents or buys me an Aston Martin DBS with a baked Latvian model in the front seat.
Rumpy-pumpy — Something I used to get every Thursday but now happens as infrequently as a great French military victory.
High-visibility jacket — Something that everyone who works at Carnival HQ in Miami is required to wear, just as surely as I’m now required to wear pants when blogging.
Beard — According to the employee handbook, every male employee at Carnival HQ is required to wear one of these, and a few of the women have even decided to! A beard is someone who eats Tofu, uses terms such as “Blue Sky Thinking” and “Reach Out,” gets sexually excited by any new Apple product, and stands in the way of brilliant ideas *like this one.
Stephanie — A genuinely nice, intelligent girl who works for Carnival. I’ve lost count of how many Stephanies have been produced so far in PA 007’s secret genetics lab at Carnival HQ.
Bollocks — Used in a sentence “what a load of bollocks” means what a load of garbage…………..well…………….maybe a bit stronger than that.
Thingy — Your gentleman’s sausage.
Bugger— Simply the best word to use when something makes you mad, upset or pretty much any emotion. Try using it today.
Miami Heat — The greatest sports team…………………….in the world.
Is there another word I use that you’ve read over 30 times and still have have no clue what I’m talking about? Leave suggestions in the comment section below and I will have at it, in my underpants, of course.
Look, friends — there are a few things you should remember before you comment. The space below is for you to post your comments about the post I've just written above. If it is something that's unrelated, please use the Ask John tab above. Now, while I may not be able to reply to your comment below, I do sit in my underpants almost every morning and read everything that is here. So feel free to comment on the comments and then if someone wants to comment on the comment to the comment then go ahead as well. Please be courteous unless the poster is French...........then you can say whatever you want.
Hi John,
We have cruised with you twice, once several years ago on either the Triumph or Destiny, cannot remember, in the Caribbean.
then in 2005 on Liberty just before the cross over.
We just got off from Dream where Butch is the cruise director. He was just part of the crew back in 05 on Liberty. Anyway, I am going on and on. Just wanted to let you know we just completed our 5th Carnival cruise and must say you were the best cruise director we have had.
Not taking anything away from Butch, but you had us in stiches.
Obviously after doing the Med cruise with you, the Caribbean is pale in comparison
Thanks again,
Tom and Mary Jo from Grand Rapids, Michigan
Please add “Cheeky sod” to John Talk. Thanks.
Please add “Manscaping” to John Talk. Thanks.
Along this same line of thinking… Please also add “Lady Garden” to your John Talk page. Thanks
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I have missed something. I do not like to miss anything John Heald and family!
So.
What is…. WYWH…?
p.s. Does Kye need another “Thing One” outfit from Aunt Karen in USA? JK. It took me awhile to find it, cuz she WAS “Thingy”.
Love and hugs to y’all.
WYWH – wish you were here
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Thanks to John and all the beards for accepting comments about the new ship’s design. One of the best parts of the cruise is the Main Dining Room experience. Please maintain the elegance in both decor and staffing. If others want self-servive, there is already the Lido deck. Thank you for your attention.
John. I miss you and Wee Jimmy working together. I hav ebeen on 23 Carnival Cruises and you two were the best Cruise director and assitant ever. I seen Jimmy last year on the Legend (I think)and he was a good as ever. Just returned from the Miracle (3-/19 – 3/27/2011) and I thought the Cruise Director and staff needed great improvement. The cruise director came across as very arogant. He was not fun at all. We will be on the Miracle next year (march 19, 2012).
Thanks, Jeff
Hi John,
Can you please tell me what the menus are on the Dream, both the Eastern and Western sailings. I am doing a back to back and would like to plan a celebration that won’t conflict with a special meal. Thanks and keep up the good show!
Hi I know this isnt the right place to post this but here goes. I’m looking for someone who works for Carnival who is a Matr’D. His name is Hello Frankie. Well this is why I’m looking for him. He went above and beyond the call of duty. My mom is on oxygen and when she was having problems breathing he stop and went to help her. I know you might say that is part of his job. But the rest of the cruise everytime he saw her he would always make sure she was ok. We even bumped into him on our next cruise and he still remembered her. He is a great person and we would love to cruise with him again. Now is there a way to find out who Every cruise ive been on the staff is amasing and for that reason we will only cruise Carnival
That’s me,Frankie (from down under)
Funny enough booked a Cruise on the Breeze in June as a guest !
could you please add the meaning for Hildegard?
John,
As a cigar smoker you may find the following thread on one of the web’s more popular cigar forums of interest. The comment regarding the Splendor is mine. I didn’t link it using HTML so you may have to copy and paste it into the address bar.
http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?p=1264492&posted=1#post1264492
Bill
keep telling it like it is
Hey, John
Another grate suggestion to doon Carnivalcruise line. I think it would be a cool Idea to have a muder myster cruise sailing. Where the actors that are in the stage productions that are on the ships all act throughout a cruise a murder mystery. The muder would happen the second night of a of a 7 day or longer sailing. Their would be one cabin or a area of the ship where the murder took place. It would have the actor play out parts as a poilce investagtors. All the crusiers that wanted to join in this would be devided into investagation teams. They would have to solve who done it and how, why and when.Their would be dummies to be used as the bodies.I think that this would be a fun and cool idea to do. While on board a Carnival cruise ship.
I could help you guys put this speical sailing togethier.Ihave a college degree in theater arts program from cleveland state univeristy. I would love to help you guys put this speical sailign togethier for all carnival cruiser to enjoy and have fun with trying to solve who done it.
you may be amusing but you do need to learn to spell. There is no A in sentence!!!!
I would like to reserve four diners for the Chef’s Table on the Carnival Dream
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Hmm.. what’s missing? Well i figured out WYWH is Wish you were here.
I’d like the origin of “poop” or maybe stop using it? It feels like an inside joke leaving lots of people out. Or a joke that’s been beaten to death.
Love your blog
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hello John i’m so excited getting on a carnival ship you make all this ship so addicting
John,
When you say ‘poop’ in your blog, do you mean what I think you mean? Or is it a term that really means something else?
Mary
You are adorable, and amusing. Thank you for being you.
I have never cruised before and will do so July 30th (9155 & 9157) out of Miami on the Carnival Destiny with my wife and kidos (17 & 14). I’m a bit nervous based on the reviews I have read about Destiny but also believe that any vacation experience is as good as the person makes it. I enjoy reading your blog so please keep up the great job of being honest and opinionated!! Love the words of wisdom!
Eric Faith
Miami Heat – The greatest SECOND PLACE team in the world! GO MAVS!
See you March 4th on the Magic!
John
I am not on facebook or twitter. I do not see an Ask John tab above. The latter maybe because I an older guy. I and my wife will soon be first time Carnival Cruisers. My problem other than what is noted above relates to a question I wish to ask you. I request we use e-mail for the question for privacy sake. I am a military veteran with 24 years service but I am truthfully embarrased asking about this subject/slash problem. I keeping with your stern note above highlighted in blue I think this policy is “Bollocks”. :<)
Sir, I have been reading your blog for a while now, preparing for our 10th Carnival cruise at the end of JULY. What does…WYWH stand for?
We will see you in a few days. We have never cruised with you before and my family and myself are excited as usual!
Thank you for all that you and the entire Carnival Staff do. My wife keeps trying to get me to do another cruise line.I am gonna talk about her when we hit 75 cruises with Carnival.
V/R,
Williams Family
John,
Is this where I post requests for seat at the Chef’s Table on Victory?
George – Go down to the bottom right portion of the block and click on the steak house reservations. You can get your Chef’s Table reservations at that same place. Enjoy!
srarted reading your blog after booking cruise in june. I am sure your great sense of humour is vital in your job it is amazing how upset some people get over trivial things. my wife and i crusing for first time sept 26 on fantasy out of charleston. we grew up together on the same street and when she really started growing up (if you know what i mean) we started going out since she was 15 and me 21 her mother broke us up and we went our separate ways.40 years later after she divorced her husbalnt and my wife past away we got back together and married in 2007. we will be celebrating my wifes 59th birthday on our first day at sea on the 27th of sept.could you please book table for 2 on that date and i understand the state room could also be decorated on that day it would be greatly appreciated.
Hands down, John Heald is the best cruise director! We had the pleasure of meeting him on the Triumph (2001) and he made our trip so memorable and fun. JOHN ROCKS!
Dear John,
your blog is exelent)))))))))))
John Heald
Praises to your company for treating your customers like valued customers!! Royal Caribbean is getting slack for stranding 450 passengers in Puerto Rico. It was also on CBS news in S FL. Bravo! That is why my sister’s, friends & I are Carnival connoisseurs’ (that is what we proclaimed ourselves & one year had shirts printed as such which we wore on board). Thank the beards valuing their customers. Without hesitation. that is why our crew of 19 will be on the Dream on Nov. 26th
http://www.cruisecritic.com/news/news.cfm?ID=4584
Hello , my name is Deepak Dave and I work in Ottawa , Ontario , Canada. I have come to carnival cruise on vacation and it is blasphemous . I am dismayed by the location you have taken us to and very disgusted. It shows people in slums and villages. I came here to vacation , not to see poor people in slums and villages . I will never come back to carnival cruise or to these locations ever again.
Mr Deepak, apparently you thought the 70′s tv show Fantasy island was a reality show! poverty is everywhere, this is the reality of life. are you saying there are no poor areas of Ottawa? if that is the case then i suggest you never leave. what makes traveling so interesting is not only seeing the beauty of the area, but also the life of the people. they may be poor but may enjoy life more than you, as well as be more content with life than you. i cant believe you wasted time and energy with this stupid comment!!
Nicole, I agree with you 100%….
Ottawa is Canada’s capitol you uneducated fool.It is a city there, there are no “poor parts” . Did you even go to school or college ? I am from Boston and currently at Harvard College and I think you really have no sense of what the world is like. Instead of staying on a boat come out and experience things. See what the world is actaully like not from a cruise ship’s point of view.
You are correct MR. D. That commentor is an igonorant kid. I have read about carnival cruise and have seen the commercials. They are differnt on t.v than in real life. I cannot belive all these people on the curise are fat and piggish !That commnetor was a fat pig maybe.
Well , it is sad how the poor people come to see the rich people having a good time. whoever nicole is do you think these people are happy where they are ? they want to come to the states for a better life ! they are not happy or enojoy life better! You are incorrect madame.Please stop bashing people over their personal opinions. I have never been on a cruise personally but I would not waste my money going to these places that are not only sad but also dangerous.
Deepak Dave , do not listen to what others will say. This was your experince and it was not good. People should not be mocking or insulting your personal experince. I find it very immature and stupid of that moronic imbecile who said you should never leave your home. Very rude I find that.If this is the attiude of the people here they it just goes to show you how immature they are. I was on Princess Cruises and very similar experince to yours. I also did not like seeing the poor unfortunate people just there looking at us while people were strutting around buying so many things.I feel bad for them. They may look happy and be nice but they are not on the inside.
Well , I think you are being honest. And I like that. These places are not glam-glam and shine-shine. Never like to see people like that. There is no beauty in seeing people underprivileged , if you like that then I think that is disturbing
I don’t go on cruises because of this. I prefer to go to places where people are happy and not in misery.
I agree with you deepak , These cruises are to help the advantaged people and they just flaunt their riches infornt of the lesser advantaged people. That is not nice making fun of your experince , nicole you are being rude.I though people these days would be still cherish and value the respect of others and their thoughts.
John,
I have been following your blog for the past few weeks. The Family and I willing setting sail on the Miracle in October for a family reunion cruise.
Just wanted to say thank you, your blog has been very entertaining and informative. You are not just a great CD, but a incredible ambassador to the seas.
Thank you
Joe Lomino
Well my pet, some of us do not need UK-USA translations, but do understand the need to share the English language with the masses.
TTFN toodles
Jackie
Thank you, thank you, thank you for the two Chef’s Table reservations! Maybe one day we’ll have the opportunity to thank you in person. 44 days until we sail!
Cindy Arnold
did you receive confirmation of your chef table reservation before ou left for your cruise? I’ve sent in a request for my birthday and would love to know before we leave.
John,
You use poop alot. Like pooping downstairs ect. What does that mean?
Thanks,
Brenda
Why isn’t there more country and western music played on the cruise ships leaving out of Galveston?
What does FFS mean?
John – I think I found how you can take care of your raspberry problems..
John:
By now you are either tired of my inputs, have not read my inputs, or don’t have an idea of who I am. So taking those things into account … here is my, once before submitted to someone at carnival cruise suggestion.
This has to do with “WHEN STUFF HAPPENS” on cruises. I have taken 3 cruises on Carnival Cruise Ships, and Oct 22 on the Dream will be #4. On each cruise “STUFF” has happened. On the Destiny in Aug 2010 == Apparently some one missed the “get back on board” time and after setting out to leave Cozumel, after we were away from the pier, and an announcement began requesting that “so and so” and another “so and so” call a certain phone number and/or contact “Guest Services”. All of which were unintelligible on the LIDO Deck. And in Nov 2010 on the Pride there was, after leaving one of the ports, there was a constant announcement made that was something to the effect of ” will the parents of So and so call this number or contact Guest Services” and later followed by an announcement some what to the effect of “if anyone notices a lost child or there is a child in you cabin that should not be there please call a number or contact guest services”, and again on the Pride upon return from Freeport there was an announcement calling the traveling companions of so and so to to call a number or contact guest services, which in this case resulted in a medivac off the coast of Jacksonville. I knew something was up when I noticed that we took a “ZIG” off our course towards Jacksonville but later returned back what appeared to be the normal planned course.
Problem is (and I understand the problems associated with what I am about to say from a crew standpoint of 2000 plus people on board and what STUFF HAPPENING can create)I was only able to hear these continuous announcements from my cabin when I walked to my cabin door and opened it so I could understand what was going on.
BUT I DID NOT HEAR THEM IN MY CABIN.
You have a couple of cabins (in the hundreds) that might have a couple of people (in the potential thousands) in them. And the request announced throughout the ship are NOT BROADCAST IN THE CABINS.
In some cases panic could be caused by some announcements .. But in others .. Problems and lives could be saved if they were announced in the Cabins. And I found no option in On Board Documentation for a choice of whether I wanted to get awakened at night or not for EMERGENCIES of ANY KIND.
My emails to Carnival may or may not have fallen on deaf ears… But I did write someone about this before our last cruise on the Pride in April … and thought (very little but I did think) that perhaps my pleas about not being able to here general announcements on the lido deck did not fall on deaf ears when the following occurred: (Check this video out — it is humorous)
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=196896660347948
Bottom line – I understand the implications of some announcements being made that could cause problems. But in some cases … ANNOUNCEMENTS that DEAL with HUMAN LIFE should be (guest like it or not) in some way be made so that ALL are in the KNOW and so ALL can help.
My recommendation “as a start” is ask when booking or during embarkation if the person or persons (guest) choose to have these announcements made over the PA system in their cabin and would volunteer to aid the crew in a search or in any way needed. In some cases, perhaps a background check for some situations would be required for volunteers. But if and how you do it .. that’s up to the beards.
Second Bottom Line.. If a child where to get lost, somehow wander into my cabin, announcements made regarding the child and I did not hear them .. and the next morning I found that child sleeping my my suite bath tub (this scenario the child was alive and well) I not only would be devastated … but really really angry with Carnival. (Note: Stewards do leave the room door open while cleaning a room).
So… I’ve said what I said while sitting here in my … boxers!
Steve
Hola John, estoy a bordo del Carnival fascination como turista y me gustó mucho el buque y su funcionamiento a la hora de brindar servicio a los pasajeros.
Me gustó tanto que tengo deseos de trabajar en este buque , agradezco tener una entrevista con usted para saber de los requisitos para un empleo.
Gracias
Hi John:
A few weeks ago, I requested Chef’s Table reservations for two on the Sensation on the Dec. 15th sailing. Booking no. is 823MG4. Anything you can do to help would be appreciated. BTW, long time CCL nurse Terry Kramer said to say hello. She said something about home made Khalua and the bottles you found phallic???
Thanks,
John M.
Carnival Dream .. 10 24 2011 — Your Submarine Friend here! I made a major comment on you blog about the Language Thingy! And being a US NAVY Vet I TRULY TRULY understand the purpose of the Crew having Drills.
Having said that the language thingy did cause a bit of humorous moment today as the crew was doing drills…
The crew, consisting of many nationalities could cause some confusion and misinterpretation…
Announcement I thought I heard —
“Attention .. “stretch your thing” report to …..”
After we laughed in our Cabin I realized it meant … “Stretcher Team” report to …
Hope it all worked out …. Gota Love it!
Steve
I was wondering why is it that Carnival calls and offers upgrades to some and not to other’s
any rime or reason
Carnival Dream –
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRUdo4YrXjM
Video from you Submarine Friend!
Steve
please address the constant abuse of people saving deck chairs with towels. I have been on 4 cruises and it seems to be getting worse.
Dear John
Looking forward to our next cruise, but have not yet decided on just which one will be next.
This time last week on the Dream, we had just finished an amazing excursion. It’s called the CHEF’S Table.
We were catered to, given much champagne, wine, and wine; a tour of the galley, and and well you name it … we experienced it.
Why do I bring this up? First I don’t have enough space to write all that I think about the experience. I highly recommend it for anyone who loves great food and great service. Especially if one loves art. But I do not recommend it for anyone who has a problem eating fine art.
Presentation, Presentation, Presentation! I am not sure I get it but, I, with a touch of guilt ate it anyway.
But as the Chef take this seriously, I understand and commend him and his staff for their intense serious attention to their profession.
So for a moment I will lay aside the food and service comments on go on to the fun side. That side has to do with the people we dined with.
I will say that the 11 people we dined with, which includes my wife and I, had such divers personalities and backgrounds we could have starred in a remake of “GILLIGAN’S Island”.
One couple we were seated next to us caused me to immediately think that “JOHN HEALD” was tired of my comments and set me up.
They were British. They stated they had just been to Disney World, this was their first time in the USA, and this was their first Cruise on Carnival.
My immediate thought was .. “YEA RIGHT”. These people are British .. they MUST KNOW JOHN. And I thought to myself, in a champagne, white wine, red wine haze ..”I’LL ASK HIM if he knows them. And then in a sudden burst of reality I remember being seen in my Naval Uniform and everyone and anyone thought I knew every single solitary soul that was in the Navy! So I won’t ask if you know them cuz I don’t remember their names.
Sitting beside them during the CHEF’S Table would be what I think it would be like sitting next to you and your wife during a series Dinner that was not all that serious.
I have no Idea if they appreciated my sense of humor, but listening to their stories and comments was like reading your blog post. He, his wife, my wife and I laughed our asses (arses?) off. I do not recall the number of times I got that LOOK from my wife that we all get that signals .. “SHUT UP!”
So what’s my purpose for this reply?
Just wanted to say this:
!. Love the Carnival Dream
2. Every one should try the Chef’s Table
3. Love British Humor
and
4. EVEN Though I do not remember the Brit’s name, and you may have access to the Crew List …
DO YOU KNOW THESE PEOPLE?
(I Know I said I wouldn’t ask .. But my wife gave me that LOOK)
Steve (HIM)
The Submarine Guy
John,
I will send you an e-mail, regarding this trip
I am from Barcelona , Spain and I came on this Cruise and did not find it enjoyable. Alot of the people here are overweight and I am disguted by how they just keep on eating and eating. It is not a good thing to keep eating non-stop.The cabin rooms are a bit too small for my family and me. It is very expensive the excursions. I thought it would be covered.
umm you should improve the cabins here , not that great
Well , this was my first time on a cruise and I don’t think I would like to come back here. This or Carribien . I am not really a cruiser it seems.
the vegatarien meals should be more on the menu . please take that inot consideration for all the non-meat eaters on the ship.
I wish to tell you about a cruise I just completed with one of your cruise lines. Princess Cruise Lines. I took a 14 day cruise to Hawaii on the Princess Sapphire from Los Angles and returning to Los Angles. I will never book another cruise with Princess after the way we were treated. The service was nothing like we have received from Carnival and this is the only time I have ever been talked to by staff members of any cruise lines where my wife and myself were insulted and asked to leave and come back when someone else was on working by cruise personnel. Your cruise lines have always been great but if all of Carnival Cruise Lines are like this I will find another lines to book with. I thought you would like to know how people are being treated on this lines that you now own.
I think there should be a carnival cruises for all the obese people , because alot of them are onboard and they really need to lose some punds. It will help them alot and do them good .
uhhh???that is funny most of the people here are fat and they show all skinny people in ther ads
fat people need some help in lsoing weight , ever heard of jenny graig ?
Well I won’t be going to cruises anymore. Makes me sea sick
I don’t usually write on blogs but I wanted to say how much my husband and I enjoy Carnival cruise line. We have had fantastic experiences on board all the ships we have been on and only one experience that rubbed me the wrong way. For our 25th anniversary cruise Mike had bought us both Carnival robes. He forgot his on board and we did not realize until we got home. I called and wrote and asked if they would send it but was told “no”. Those things are not cheap but more importantly it was for our 25th. But the experience did not taint us against Carnival. It was a lesson for both of us. He needs to pack better and I need to check his packing. We have celebrated our 25th and 26th anniversaries on your line and hope to spend more.
My husband, Mike, has become such a big Carnival cruise ‘addict’ I jokingly tell him when he retires he will have to work for Carnival. Recently, he found out about your blog via cruise critic and has now added you to his nightly reading list along with the Carnival website and cruise critic. He sits in his corner of the couch laughing at your comments to the point I have had to reassure the grandbabies, G-pa is not crazy. He comments on a regular bases the he would love to be on the same cruise as you one day. We are booked for our 9th cruise on the Imagination out of Miami, Fl Nov. 28. Then our 10th cruise on the Inspiration out of Tampa, Fl on Dec. 3rd (or as Mike likes to say “Our Platinum cruise baby”). That free laundry service seems to mean a lot to him. I was wondering reading your postings are you ever the CD on any cruise out of the U.S?
FYI: cruise number 11 is already book.
Thank you
Donna
Thought you might like this John:
Great Answers
In France, at a fairly large conference, Prime Minister Steven Harper was asked by a French cabinet minister if Canadian involvement in Afghanistan was just an example of “empire building”.
Mr Harper answered by saying, ‘Over the years, Canada has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return.’
You could have heard a pin drop.
A Canadian Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the Canadian, US, English, Australian and French Navies.
At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French Admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many languages, North Americans generally learn only English. He then asked, ‘Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?’
Without hesitating, the Canadian Admiral replied ‘Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German.’
You could have heard a pin drop.
When Robert Whiting, an elderly Canadian gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on at French Customs.
‘You have been to France before, monsieur?’ the customs officer asked sarcastically.
Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.
The official replied, ‘Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.’
The Canadian said, ‘The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.’
‘Impossible, Monseur. Canadians always have to show passports on arrival in France!’
The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, ‘Well, when I came ashore on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to.’
You could have heard a pin drop.
Sorry, you’ve attributed all three to Canadians. The first was actually said, albeit, out of context, by Colin Powell, an American. Check Snopes.com.
The second and third I found by searching but depending on who was quoting it, was changed to THEIR country.
The (2) words ” Male Prostitute ” you once used in one of your jokes about a lost woman in the hallway looking for her room . If I didn’t have a clue of the meaning of the term “Male Prostitute ” the joke would not have been as funny . I am not naive but your definition is always more humorous. Bob
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to you and your bride–When ya’ll have been married 42 yrs ( like Hubby and I ) I”ll ask you then how it’s going. CONGRADULATIONS.
I heard a rumor that Carnival is redoing it’s Platnium past guest policy. If so, when? Will they include free drinks like RCCL?
So is Carnival still freaking out about taking travel bikes on a cruise. We did a cruise to Mexico last year and set up our bikes to bike around Key West. The ship security went balistic, whats the deal, it’s only bikes…We travel with our bikes everywhere we go and think it’s a great thing for a cruise.
David Predeger
John,
I have sailed with Carnival quite a few times and it was during the first Carnival cruise that I was hooked. I love the ships, the people working for carnival are amazing as is the food and the activities are always lots of fun. There is as much or as little to do as you want. That being said, I just returned from my first cruise on a Celebrity ship. I was invited to join a friend and her family for a trip and, being that I love cruising, decided to go for it. How much could it differ from my favorite cruise line? Boy did I find out. First of all, the average age of the passengers on my most recent cruise was around 70 – I kid you not, I felt like I should be in one of the kids camps on this trip. Celebrity appears to cater to a much more mature crowd and they like it that way. They had no midnight buffets as the majority of the passengers aren’t up past 8:00 p.m. The food was very good but I noted that (1) they did not have chocolate lava cake at all during any meal; and (2) lobster was never offered during the cruise. To make up for the lack of the midnight buffet, they have a brunch buffet on the last full day at sea. It was nice but truly not the beauty that is a Carnival Midnight Buffet.
A few other things I noted, and they are things I never thought mattered much to me, are the lack of any towel animals. One night I came back to my cabin to find a towel animal on my bed but was not able to identify its species. Our cabin steward rivaled any I have had on Carnival and was outstanding as were the waiters who took good care of us.
Needless to say, I will be returning to Carnival for my next cruise and have made a promise to myself to stay with Carnival. Why mess with perfection? Thank you to you and all the wonderful people at Carnival who made me realize how spoiled I really was.
John,
First, I hope you Heidi and the kids had a wonderful Christmas and are ready for a Happy New Year.
I recently heard that Ken Burns was assaulted by a crew member on a ship. Is this true? If it is I cannot believe of all the people someone could or would harm him. Please wish him well and a speedy recovery.
I am hoping to sail with you in the coming year. Things are tough right now, since losing my job of 16 years. I know things will get brighter soon though. Looking forward to hearing your witty banter live in person, as well as on your Blog. Keep up the excellent work…Carnival is so fortunate to have you as their Premier Ambassador!
JCH p.s. you don’t need to post this
if possible
i emailed a while back about reserving the chefs table for my mother and myself on our cruise we are taking 1/21 on dream and did not now how long it takes or how soon before the cruise that i will receive a email if reservations have been made
thank you
Is the Spirit in drydock now? I cant find any information on this.
Happy Birthday John!!! You were my first Cruise Director way back in 2006 on the Liberty and I am now a hooked repeat cruiser….going on my first back to back this Saturday on the Dream and so looking forward to it the only thing that would have made it perfect is if you were the Director on it…oh well Cheers
Sending best wishes for a very Happy Birthday and many many more!! Hope you had a wonderful day..
Dear John,
By any chance were you the cruise director on the Carnival Pride, 10/2/05 sailing? You seem so familar to me and I’m wondering if that’s why. I love your blog, by the way. Your words, advice and comments are always spot on!
Cheers!
Janine
Hi John, Just wanted to say Thank You very very much for my birthday surprises, (the strawberries, champagne, and Victory ship on a stick). This will definitely be a birthday that I will never forget! Currently touring on the Carnival Victory, and my friend Julie is so jealous of my ship on a stick, I am lording it over her every chance I get. See you on the Magic for the bloggers cruise. Your friend, Bertie
Can’t find the current CD schedule for March 2012, so I’ll just ask:
Will you be on the Magic for the Mar. 11th sailing too?
The schedule I see shows John on the Magic.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/pub?hl=en_US&hl=en_US&key=0Ap2nJKwTAA9sdHhjNktFT1RuSUZfSk9MOVkzS3NkVWc&single=true&gid=0&output=html
Good Morning John, I just got off the Liberty with the Troublemakers and I just wanted to thank you for all that you do. I am a Platinum cruiser and although things seem to be changing, the staff still went out of their way to accommodate everyone. We had one of the best times ever with Karl. I would love to know where he will be next Jan/Feb. It may make our decision what ship we go on. Ecstasy in Sept, I assume he wont be there.. Thanks again
John I will be on the Liberty February 25…my fiance and I are cruising the second time on the Liberty in three years, we are excited to board and enjoy the new venues!I am a Big fan of Guy Fieri, and Captain Morgan. I enjoy reading your blogs and like you on facebook.