June 26th, 2009
I don’t think I can start today’s blog without mentioning Michael Jackson whom I am now so sorry to say I poked fun at recently. Frailty is part of the human condition and Michael Jackson had more than his fair share of it. But I am going to remember him for his music.
He had the voice of an angel and he was a lion on the stage. The raw energy of his live performances had to be seen to be believed and I will never forget the Thriller concert my mate Alan and I went to all those years ago. It’s a great sadness that so many of his wonderful achievements will be eclipsed by the strangeness of his everyday life. The problem with celebrity is that is magnifies you, in the true sense of the word, so that all your talents and all your failings are equally visible. And God knows, when I think of my own faults, I wouldn’t like them to be enlarged.
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June 25th, 2009
Todd Wittmer and his entertainment staff threw a brilliant deck party last night………one of the very best I have ever seen. Todd was up there leading the fun, singing about not being able to get any satisfaction, but having seen his girlfriend I know that’s a load of bollocks. He was also dressed in ummmm…….well……..what apparently is these days something called “metrosexual fashion.” This included a suit…………a T-shirt with no collar…….a tie…….and a cap that looked like something my grandfather used to wear when he went to watch a cricket match. I asked Todd what this was all about………and he told me……….”Dress for success.”
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June 24th, 2009
So, there I was wandering aimlessly round the ship yesterday afternoon unable to go ashore in St. Thomas because US Immigration thought I might have an AK-47 in my underpants….. and I was bored……….really, really bored. And so I ended up in the video game arcade thingy and decided that as I couldn’t take my frustration out on the Whopper eating public of the Virgin Islands ………I would kill some Zombies instead.
As I entered the arcade I saw it was pretty quiet and apart from a few kids playing air hockey it was just me. So, I started releasing my boredom by doing some driving.
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June 23rd, 2009
“What a load of bollocks,” I cried when one of the entertainment staff here on the Carnival Freedom revealed that her dramatically slimmed-down figure was not the result of the latest Hollywood diet or a hot new personal trainer, but was in fact due to……………. hypnotherapy.
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June 22nd, 2009
I was talking to a mate yesterday about age and getting older…..and I was trying to explain that getting older has advantages. Behavior that was once unacceptable is becoming what’s expected. Let me explain, when I was a younger cruise director and wanted to stay in my cabin and watch a movie rather than go out to the disco, everyone thought I was a loser. My fellow crew members would nag me to join them: “C’mon, you’re young! Live it up!” and I would tell them to bugger off.
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