May 12, 2014 -

John Heald -


I often talk about how much I miss my wife and my daughter and my mum and my family and friends but rarely do I say how much I miss my dog, a massive flesh-eating German shepherd called Breeze. He is almost two years old and I never thought I would be writing a blog about how much I miss him. I have never been a dog person. In fact, when Heidi, my wife, was trying to persuade me to get one, I was totally against it. A dog requires almost constant attention. It raids your garbage bin, bites the mailman, eats the sofa, craps on the carpet, wants a walk when it’s raining, barks in the night for sod all reason and costs a fortune when (more…)

Looking For Trouble

May 8, 2014 -

John Heald -


Last night was elegant night and that meant some but certainly not all of our guests were dressed formally and that, of course, included some very beautiful ladies………….by the way, remind me to talk about elegant night and what we have to do to make it better please. Anyway, so there I was standing in the lobby with the captain and a few senior officers when this absolutely stunning – I mean drop dead gorgeous – supermodel twenty-something walked past. (more…)

Time To Be A Cruise Director Again

May 5, 2014 -

John Heald -


There is more chance of Donald Sterling being asked to be Ambassador of the United Nations than there is of me ever being asked to be top beard for Carnival Cruise Lines. OK, I would enjoy being president for a week and be involved in important decisions like hiring more Latvian supermodels as crew and making Southend on Sea, Essex, UK, the home port for the Carnival Vista. But deep down I know I will never be president of Carnival Cruise Lines, a senior beard or indeed any kind of beard because I know my limitations and when it comes to what is required to be a beard, those limitations are massive. In the old days (more…)


May 1, 2014 -

John Heald -


Carnival Miracle was built in Finland and, let me tell you something about the Finnish, they really were brilliant ship builders and, although once quitting time came around, they might like to hoist a pint or two (or three) but when they worked, they were as dedicated as anyone I’ve ever seen to become superb builders of sea going vessels — and indeed still are.

 But as I walk around Carnival Miracle and admire their work, which has stood the test of time here for sure, I can’t help but remember the difference between how the ship builders were during the week vs. how they were on the weekend (which you could probably say the same for a lot of European nations not to mention the U.S.). Their motto seemed to be that it was no use drinking the odd glass of beer now and then, it was too expensive and (more…)


April 29, 2014 -

John Heald -


I am staying in a guest cabin this cruise here on the Carnival Miracle, so I want to start today’s blog with an observation, if I may. In the bathroom the stateroom stewards (or “stewarts” as they are sometimes called – FFS!) place three sizes of towels for us to use. There are the big ones used after a shower and there are the medium-sized ones that we use to dry our hands and faces after a wash or a shave and can also be used to wipe away that stubborn toothpaste mark from around the sink. (more…)

The Winter Olympics are well under way and it has been the ice hockey that has been the most watched on the Carnival Sunshine’s Lido Seaside Theater big screen. Interestingly, it has been the Canadian guests who seem to be the most patriotic. There are not many of them here, only 181 out of over 3,000 guests but those 181 are all wearing the maple leaf shirts and are extremely patriotic, it seems. (more…)


February 3, 2014 -

John Heald -


Let’s start today’s blog with a chat about kids and this question posted on my blog over the weekend.


Gary Kemp asks:

Urgent for your IMMEDIATE Attention.

I am VERY disappointed with Camp Carnival. Our boys are six and eight and their group activities were very immature IMO. They are confined to a room – no outside or sports activities – and the most excitement I could imagine is the Wii and PlayStation games for kids that like that kind of thing. My kids are active and love sports or age appropriate games. The camp seems geared toward girls who are generally more passive, enjoy crafts and things. They had musical chairs as one activity. Seriously? They made them sit down and listen to a story!!! This is ridiculous. They are not three year olds. Very unimpressed and this meant no relaxing, casino or couple time for us. The parents who are thinking of using the camp should be warned!! (more…)

Let’s start with this today:


Jim Brunswick

I wanted you to read this thread made on Cruise Critic made by Carnival’s top cheerleader.


My point of concern is that you will see a message from Pine Bluff who states that “the crew does not like you” that I think you need to address and have the right to reply to. Care to comment because this is a serious allegation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (more…)


January 27, 2014 -

John Heald -


No, it’s not an illusion; this is indeed a new blog. Yep, here I am, back in my underpants, ready once again to give you another average blog. I had paused from writing the blogs while I was home thinking about my book about my life at sea. And then Dad passed away …………. and …………well…… know. But the blog is as important to me as Facebook, if not more so, because it was the blog that got me on the social media thingy and thus connected with you. And it is the blog that our seven blogger’s cruises have been named after including the one in February of which we have 688 people registered for.  (more…)

Carnival LIVE: the schedule

January 22, 2014 -

Everett -


John, who is currently in a taxi, asked that I share the below schedule with you guys. For your convenience, here it is… though I’d also urge you to always refer to the official page on for the most up-to-date information.


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