Have a question about the Carnival Liberty dry dock or any of the Fun Ship 2.0 spaces? Submit it on Carnival’s Facebook page for a chance to have it answered in an upcoming video.
Tonight I will be back in my hotel room all alone again. Some of the Miami beards are great friends but they have their families to go home to and some are traveling and away from Miami. And so it’s me and my TV and shows like Star Trek. Yep, as there was bugger all in I watched Star Trek and I have never realised until the other night when I watched back-to-back episodes on late night TV just what a horny sod William Shatner was. (more…)
As you will see, we will be talking about the Miami office later and indeed we shall start with some office chat as well. Now I haven’t worked in an office for 25 years. The only time I did was when I first started work for Customs and Excise Branch 1AQ. That sounds fantastic doesn’t it? (more…)
Good morning from Freeport, Grand Bahamas, where today we have been filming the last part of the four different videos you will see over the next few days. This will be a quick fire blog as I have to squeeze may fat arse in an American Eagle seat and fly back to Miami. Peter the Hair and Jay the Recently Married are brilliant at what they do and the next series of videos will include some fantastic shots plus will also include some amazing time lapse videos as well. (more…)
Heidi sent me some photos of Kye today and I wish I could post them here but as you know what happened last time, I just can’t. I can’t get over how beautiful Kye is, especially considering how boil on a baboon’s arse ugly I am. It seems that us ugly people have a new hope though as the commercials for various male face lifts and rejuvenating $700 creams keep telling me. What a load of bollocks. I know there’s already stuff available to help ugly men and women. It is called “alcohol” and its powers are in full view every week on the ships, when guests you’d have rejected for possible romantic rendezvous on deck at 9 pm suddenly acquire magical new hotness a few minutes before the nightclub closes.
Have a question about the Carnival Liberty dry dock or any of the Fun Ship 2.0 spaces? Submit it on Carnival’s Facebook page for a chance to have it answered in an upcoming video.
So as you know I am in Miami. Considering I need to travel to the office for meetings with beards and visits to Walgreens to stock up on hemorrhoid cream and the fact that walking is against the law in Miami, I decided to hire a car. Now I went to the concierge desk at the Intercontinentalarriothyatt where I am staying because a sign told me that they had a Hertz car hire on site and the concierge asked if I’d like to see the “car menu.” What? There’s a car menu? Brilliant. Of course I’d like to see the car menu. Jose the concierge then produced a leather bound folder and inside a choice of cars was exquisitely laid out like our steakhouse menu. At the top, as if it were a Gordon Ramsay signature dish, was a list of Hertz Prestige Cars which included a Mercedes sports car for $1,000 a minute. At the bottom, like it was a child’s portion of chicken nuggets at McDonalds, was a tiny Toyota Bollockthing that you could hire for just under $24 a year. There was also the car I really wanted on the menu, a Ford Mustang GT, the car menu equivalent of a Guy Fieri Burger with all the trimmings.
New York’s La Guardia airport should organise children’s parties because the place is run by clowns as are most airports these days. Hello, I write this part of the blog on my raspberry from seat 12A which is a window seat in coach. If you are new to the blog you won’t know how much I hate flying. Let me tell you how much. I would rather go swimming with a great white shark with a Guy Fieri burger tied round my thingy than be stuck in a metal tube filled with air as fresh as a Frenchman’s dangly bits. La Guardia needs help and I highly suggest that when you depart from this airport that you give yourself extra time to check in. The staff needs a trip to one of our ships to see how to organize a line and please, please, we know we have to take our shoes off at security but you have to provide some chairs for the folks to sit on to put them back on again? I watched a frail old lady trying to do so and couldn’t because there was nowhere to sit, which is I think is bloody ridiculous.
