The Show Must Go On

April 8, 2007 -

John Heald

I want to thank the folks who have posted condolence messages for Joanne. I am sure they will help her as they have helped Heidi and I. Thank you.

Congratulations! We have gone past 100,000 hits which means I will celebrate by posting a photo of me wearing spandex; seriously, you all deserve it 🙂

Q & A .

BONNIE AND CHARLIE – When you get on the Legend, please say a personal hello to the CD whose name is Chris Roberts or Bubba to his friends.
He is a great guy. Also, look out for dancers Lucy and Deliah, who are old friends of mine. You will love the suite. I gave Heidi a small poiece of chocolate I found at the back of the cupboard. To answer your question it is pronounced.CIVI TA VEC HIA……………..have a great cruise and send me a review when you get back. Ask Chris the CD to print a daily blog for you and put it in your cabin, I will let him know in advance.
KATHY AND PAUL – 30 cents for a toilet in Florence, now that is a bargin. You are right of course there were toilets in Florence but all the seats have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on! Best to you and Mum and hope to see you soon.
RICHARD – I will make sure Heidi and I see you and all my Cruise Critic friends on that sea day, please drop me a line to remind me when you arrive via the Purser’s Office. The Med cruise will be so fantastic and I will do my best to keep the blog going as long as I can think of things to write about and with great comments like yours I am sure I can continue. See you in may and my best to all the C/C readers.
TARQUIN – Thanks for the comment that one blog per year will be enough. Are you a friend of Quentin’s by any chance as you both have similar writing techniques? I think you may be BIG ED in disguise.
DAISY – When you get onboard you are asked to complete a boarding card which asks you if you have cruised before with CCL and when etc. Later in the cruise you will receive an invitation to our past guest party.Please give my regards to the rest of the Duck family and I will see you very soon.
NANETTEALI – Thanks for the offer of help with my Spanish or Muchos Grasyarse as the Spanish would say. I look forward to a romantic stroll with your husband and a photo with your daughter. What is the name of my competion Cruise Director?I will keep going with blog.See you soon. Buenos Morningo.
BIG ED – let’s whack Tarquin, lets have him sleeping with the fishes. You are hereby promoted to Head Of Special Operations! I am hoping to encourage other Cruise Director’s to write a blog and the guest bloggist is a great idea. Let me know when Tarquin has been made an offer he can’t refuse! I MAY HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS FOR YOUR January cruise…………stand by.
SMANI – I feel guilty that you have my blog as your homepage so out of respect for you I have deleted my homepage (Heidi is now happy) and instead made the blog thingy my homepage as well. The exclusive and private view of the Vatican, it is the most sensational, jaw dropping tour I have ever done and quite frankly you have to do it. I have included the tour description and a photo. It will leave you breathless. See you soon.
BILL AND SUE – Can I be cheeky and ask for a copy of the Essex Chronicle and a bag of Walkers’ Cheese and Onion crisps. I will keep the blog going as long as I can and I am sure we will still be in communication before you sail.If you are moving in with Big Ed I suggest I make you my Head of U.K. Operations. Give my regards to Essex and have a brew for me. See you soon. Heidi is an Essex girl now!
MISSINGTHESMOKEFREEPARADISE – The injury report has been completed and the accused pistachio shell is now in the brig. Yes, we have a brig and I think its safe to say all cruise ships do although apart from Peter the Pistachio, I cannot remember anyone being in there in all these years. Still, maybe Big Ed can put Tarquin in there. Thanks for the kind worda about the blog thingy and Heidi sends you her best.
VINCENT FROM HOLLAND – Heidi wants me to write this bit in Dutch. Queer Morge. Het is noo 7:00am und Heidi sitter bi mi und cofee drinker. Noo ich will plaser don. Ich dromer op Frinkendel speciale mit patakyers orlock..lecher. Tot Zins und liefs und kunuffles – John und Heidi.
JOHN AND MICHELE – The figures I have are that we are getting between 3000 and 5000 hits per day with the total at 93,000. I will get the latest. Figures from the incredible support team of Robert Castro and Frank Rivera from our head office who put this whole thing together…a big round of applause for them please. I will see you in August for what will be a fantastic cruise.
MATT – The fact that you know to the exact second how long it will be before you cruise deserves more than a handshake so expect something with bubbles in it when we meet in 237 days.
CARLOS – While formal wear is needed to enter the dining room on the two formal nights it is not for the shows. Hope to meet you soon.
TERI – The good news is that the weather is getting warmer every day and while you should bring a light jacket I do not think you will need a heavy coat. The blog is a great idea and I hope we get to share ideas. See you next cruise… will be fantastic.
SOUTHERN DREAMS – Have a great time on the Leg End and give my best to everyone there. See you in October.
DAVE AND DIANA – I am glad you were rewarded with Sun following that journey you had to get to the Conquest. I hope you are ready for a Monte Cristo with me and I will say “Long Ashes To You.”
LINDA – It looks like we will be spending Turkey day together. The day we left on an emergency from the Glory was a very sad day as Heidi’s Father passed away suddenly. Heidi is onboard with me now and we both look forward to welcoming you.
TERI – Larry and I love Leg Ends ! May 13th is just around the corner and we can make some new Leg Ends together. See you soon.
MARK – I had no idea about the airline information you included in your blog. It is very useful to know. I know how disheartening it can be to loose your luggage.
PATRICK – At 16 I wonder if you are our youngest blogger? I got your letter on debarkation morning but I am sorry I could not reply because I some urgent things to take care of. Anyway, as far as being a Cruise Director I think that is a great idea. I suggest you stay in touch with me and when you are 18 and old enough to work on a cruise ship I will be glad to help. As far as qualifications are concerned you need to try and get some theatre or public speaking experience. Apart from that a love of people, travel and French fries are the only other requirements. I wish you much success. Maybe you will be my cruise Director when I take a cruise. I will get back to you on the jazz CD.
JERRY FRIEDMAN – I once dated a girl called Rebecca Friedman. My mate Alan Adkins and I were double dating two girls. I remember Rebecca because she was very small only 5ft, we only dated for a week. Alan’s lady was called Sandra Scott, she was not very small and remind me bloggers to please tell you the amazing story of how they met, it is worthy of a Hollywood movie so please remind me.
Now, as for Formal Nights. There are three sea days and the formal nights are on Sea day 1 and Sea day 3. Sea day 1 is the main formal (Captain’s) night and formal attire is required in the dining rooms. We serve Lobster as one of the choices and I also recommend the Prime Rib ! Don’t forget to book the Supper Club, it is simply the best. I look forward to seeing you and your family soon mate. (Hope you are not related to Rebecca)
JO AND DAVE – The Carnival Freedom is also totally “WiFi” friendly. I see many people using their Lap Tops all over the ship – it even works in the bathrooms.
GREG – A Limo in Naples would cost $1150 for a full day of touring or $633 dollars for a half day. These prices are per vehicle (Not Per Person) and also come with a guide. If you would like me to pre book a car for you before you cruise in June, please let me know.
BIG ED………………….Please post a photo of yourself so everyone can see my Head of Security.

Here is the Supper Club Menu. I cannot recommend this enough. It’s only $30 PP and I urge everyone to give it a try. If you want me to make bookings for you I will be happy to help. The Porterhouse, Prime Rib and the Surf and Turf are my personal favorites – and the Wasabi mash Potato – mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I needed to cheer myself and Heidi up so as were in Naples today and it is Easter Sunday, we decided to have a traditional Easter Dinner ashore. I had pepperoni on mine while Heidi had a vegetarian one.
We were walking back to the ship when we saw two small kittens curled up in a shop door way. Heidi being the female of our species cooed sounds like “ahhhhhhh” and ” their so cute ” etc. while I was just thinking how long it would be before we got back to the ship as I needed to sit and read for a while……………that’s as polite as I could put it.
I have never liked cats, never have, never will. Now, before the cat lovers of the world unite and send me hate blog thingys, let me explain. Cats hate me, they really hate me. I have never met a cat that likes me. I must let of a scent that provokes cats into scratching and biting me which brings me to my ex-girlfriends Cat a huge ginger monster called Rambo. It was aptly named because anytime it saw me it thought it was at war and the thing would attack me. It became just like the hilarious Pink Panther Movies starring Peter Sellers as Inspector Closseau. He would walk into his house and his servant KATO would attack him using the element of surprise.

Rambo adopted the same strategy and would go into stealth mode, invisible until the moment of attack. It was after one such attack that I planned my revenge. I purchased 24 bags of the exploding candy called “Pop Rocks”. Now, don’t get ahead of me, I did not feed it to the cat, that would have been cruel. Instead I emptied all 24 bags into Rambo’s litter tray and the next time he peed you guess what happened. Rambo was subjected to explosions all around and he ran off with his tail between his legs. It gave me minutes of joy and laughter which turned to agony as sensing his litter tray was no longer a safe place to empty his bowls he found other places, usually in my shoes !

The guests are all onboard and its time to say goodbye to Naples. The Pompeii, Sorrento and Capri tour as usual was sold out and 500 guests came off the jet boat with spring sun tans and huge smiles.

I have received 5 letters from guests saying that they read my blog everyday, the latest from the Tucker family. I have sent them all gifts and hopefully I will get to meet them.

I apologize that this blog has been random and with out much structure but my mind has been else where.

I am off to the Welcome Aboard Show now and I promise that I will be more “myself” on tomorrow’s blog thingy.

Tonight, the show must go on, however my mind will be with Joanne and her incomparable husband John and I am sure I will have some great characters on stage tonight however in my heart the show will be dedicated to him.


Your Friends

John and Heidi


Here are some pictures that were taken recently. Enjoy!!

Carnival Freedom at Night Carnival Freedom at Night 
Pictures of Ephesus Pictures of Ephesus 
Pictures of Ephesus Statue of the goddess Nike in Ephesus

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.