A Tale of a Brave Lady and Two Annoyed Guests

April 13, 2007 -

John Heald

Good Morning Blogeraddicts!

Here are some photos for your enjoyment of Rome and Dubrovnik for your enjoyment

Carnival Freedom sailing into Dubrovnik (old town) Colosseum in Rome Trevi Fountain in Rome (throw a coin over your left shoulder and it’s believed that you will return to the Eternal City)

Oh what a beautiful day. Have you been looking at the web cams today – flat seas, blue skies and the perfect cruising weather. The Lido Deck looked like a Lido Deck should today with everyone sunbathing and really enjoy the beautiful ” Caribbean Style ” weather. We played a Harry Potter matinee movie today and it was well received

But if the weather continues I will have to add the live music on deck and have Music Unlimited play there.

As requested by many, here is the dining room wine list. Let me know if you have any questions.

Just before starting with the Q & A, I wanted to talk about me – yes me. I think I need to start adding some of the ” not so good ” comments I get now and then. When I started this blog thingy I wanted to make sure that it was not scripted but off the cuff and that would include the good and the bad times I have as a Cruise Director.

So, here is a bad taken from the log of comments taken from yesterday ” April 12th “.I have taken the name away as I do not have the permission of the guest to blog him!

6305 – Do not like T.V.
The following carnival cares card was given to pursers desk:
” *Less than satisfied*. . Better free TV programs and movies. Where is NBC and CBS – expect to see American Programs. Would not have cruised if I had known.
Less” John Show” – tired of having him around the clock on T.V. – his British accent gets on my nerves, he sounds like a poor man’s Robin Leach.

I did speak to the guest and advised him that there was not direct satellite coverage in Europe for the stations he wanted and apologized for sounding like Robin Leach – I have no idea how he sounds as I have never heard of him. Still, it is better than being called Sperm Of the Devil. I offered my apologies and also asked if he wanted to borrow some of my DVD’s which he declined.

So, as you see, in this business it really is hard to please all the people all of the time, but the day I stop trying will be the day I start selling herbal tea for a living.

OK, here is today’s Q & A.

RICHARD – The doors are aluminum ( or aluminum as the Americans would say ) and you can tape a sign to the door if you wish – depending on the sign of course. Do not worri abourt yor spalling, mime iz baad ars wall.
TERRI910 – Great follow up and you are so correct about John and Diane, they are great musicians and great people. Most of the acts that are here now will also be here for the crossing. We have 7 days at sea together,. I am going to teach basket weaving and how to make herbal tea.
WWWWWWW – Sounds like you need me to send some Med sunshine to the big apple. As requested, here are some of my favorite not to be missed things to eat while in Europe AND ARE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER.


OK, typing all of this has made me hungry so I am going for dinner.
Back from dinner, not that anyone cares but I had two fried eggs on toast and a Cesar’s salad.

On we go with the Q & A.

KEN C IN PHOENIX – Thanks for acknowledging Todd. He is a great C.D. and a good mate. The earliest we start debarkation is 6:00am. This means you can book a flight from 9:00am or after and have plenty of time to make it. Please let me know if I can help further.
KENA – I am sure as an Oncology nurse you must have many stress filled days so I promise you that when you cruise I will do my best to de stress you through fun and laughter. As you are an Oncology Nurse I wonder if you can have a look at my feet:) HERE IS A SAMPLE OF THE Sea day Carnival Capers for the Grand med Cruise which I am still planning so you are the first to see it.
RENEE – First of all I assure you that your kids will have plenty of new friends to play with. We do not have as many kids as our sister ships in the Caribbean but we do have at least 100 plus of your families age. As for allowing your youngest into the next age group that is a tough one. We are very strict about this however you can ask the Youth Director once onboard who judges each situation on its own merit so hopefully all will be well. Regardless I promise the kids will have a great time.
Our shows in the evening are considered family shows although some of the dancers do wear ” showgirl ” style costumes but they will see much worse on Libido Deck. See you very soon and thanks for reading the blog thingy.
STORMIN NORMAN – How are you mate. How is the family and how are you. I am so sorry we have been out of touch but I will rectify that ASAP. The boomerang joke worked well but would have been funnier if you were there to throw it back to me. I miss seeing you in the audience mate. Write soon and enjoy your 33rd cruise. you are one of a kind.
GEORGE AND LINDA – I apologize that you have been given the wrong information when you called. The dining room is open every night. Here is the first day’s menu and I to look forward to June 8th and a chance to wish you happy anniversary.
BELLA – Thank you for your request to play Ocean’s Thirteen on the big screen. Because this movie is rated P.G.17 I will have to play it as a T.V. movie. We do have many other great movies which I know you will enjoy. See you soon and let me know if there any others you may wish to see. Write to me the cruise before you sail and let me know what day and time you want and I will gladly book a massage for you.

Yesterday I wrote a little about the Caribbean and suggested I organize a BLOGGERS CRUISE. I hope it happens. Anyway, I want to add that I realize ( as one comment suggested ) that some people to do have the time to take a 12 day European cruise, so  Smooth sailing ( I love these chat names ) here is a recommendation to you from me of my favorite short cruise.

It is on the Imagination which has always been one of my favorite ships out of the nine I have delivered from new. Heidi and I got engaged on the ship ( that’s a story for another time ) and the ship has always had a special something about it. The Imagination is part of the Fantasy class of ships and as of August 2007 it will be sailing on this excellent 5 day cruise.

Imagination (five-day from Miami) – Half Moon Cay, Grand Turk and Nassau. Begins Aug. 13, 2007. Give this a try and then you will be ready for a seven, eight or 12 day cruise.

So, what about today. Well this morning I started at 9:30am with my morning show. One of the letters I received was from a soldier, from Canada, serving in Afghanistan who has been reading this blog thingy during her downtime . Her name is Katherine. Katherine is a very brave young lady and we spoke on the show about her job and how much she misses her dog called BooBoo. I miss my dog who is called Kodak so called because he snaps at everybody. My dog also has no legs, every morning I get up and take him for a drag. Do you know where you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it. I feed my dog on EXLAX, why? Because it is a Shitsu.

Sorry about that, I lost my mind in blog dog heaven there.

Back to Katherine. I asked Katherine what she missed the most apart from BooBoo and she said that she missed getting mail. It appears she gets very little so here is a kind request from me to my blog champions. If you find it in your hearts how about we all write a letter to her, while we have been blooging from the comforts of home she has been blogging from one of the most dangerous parts of the world ( and I don’t mean my bathroom ). I mentioned I would be doing this and it made her day.

So, here is her address.
K8N 5W6

Just a line to say hi would I am sure make her day, thanks in advance:)
Heidi has to go home in Livorno this cruise and I will be on my own for seven days. I get very sad when she is not with me but at least I can put anything on the bathroom floor I want to. With your kind permission I will leave this blog now and come back later and write more………..BRB.

Ok, it is now just before midnight and the ship is really quiet. It is usually at this point, mid way through the cruise that people start to get tired and with the Acropolis waiting to be conquered as many guests are already tucked up in their Carnival Comfort bed ( remind me to write about that on another blogging day ).

I just finished my walk around the deck with Heidi. Once again many people seem to be walking as well before bed and most are holding hands. I have seen many ‘sights” whilst walking the decks over the years including ‘ the obvious ” as the night air causes passion to take over. I have seen people praying, I have seen people lying flat on their backs star gazing and yes, honestly, yes, I have even seen someone with a fishing pole trying to fish from the top deck – he was immediately asked to stop of course.

Tonight, however we did not see anything unusual although I was asked a wonderful question as Heidi and I took our stroll……..a guest asked…………do you know which way New Jersey is ? Sometimes the comedian in me takes over and I say something which I think is funny when it would be better to pause and think, I did not this time and my instant reply was ” what exit “. I expected a chuckle or even a laugh as most people form Jersey seem to know their exit but I was met by a wall of silence and a look that said, I do not find you funny at all.

I quickly went into ” But seriously, let me call the bridge. So I did, and thanks to Luigi on the bridge I was able to tell the guest where the U.S was. He left happy but probably thinking what an idiot I was…hopefully he excepted my apology and left happy……………….but I doubt it!

My problem is I shall be thinking all night that I may have upset this guest……..it is something that I always do and is part of being in the hospitality business but it still bothers me and I am angry at myself tonight for trying to be a smart %$#@.

So on this blog I have told you of two people who I have not adhered myself to. I wanted to share this with you as criticism is as much a part of the job as praise. It is only 2 people but for me, that’s two people too many and I shall be annoyed at myself all night.

Actually. make that 3 people I have annoyed…..the toilet seat is in the up position…….oh well.


Your friends

John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.