If Heidi Ruled the World

May 2, 2007 -

John Heald

Good Afternoon Everyone.

How are you?

Here we are in Naples again. It started as an overcast day but by 11 am, the sun had dissipated the clouds (that word is now being used by Willard Scott and other professional weather forecasters) and the day has been warm and sunny. Heidi and I just went for an afternoon stroll (to get a pizza ) and you can smell something in the air (before and after the Pizza).  The before the Pizza smell is …………….summer. It’s here already, there is a certain smell you associate with summer. I can’t describe it but it was definitely there today. The temperature was around 75 degrees but more humid than the last few days. For the first time I had that summer feeling as we walked around.

We shared a Pizza Diablo…..this is a famous Neapolitan pizza which is made with cheese and very spicy tomato sauce with spicy salami on top. Heidi has a love/hate relationship with this Pizza. She loves eating it but hates the way it um, well I always, …um………….well, you know !

Yesterday during debarkation, I did my usual walk around the ship one hour before my welcome aboard talk. I like doing this because most people do not know who you are and you can get a feel for the people before you go on stage. I noticed this cruise we have a lot of Russian guests sailing. In fact, we have over 300 of them booked as one group and more booked individually. Luckily we have Russian-speaking purser’s at our information desk and they are able to give them some advice and help as most of them do not speak English.

I always find it frustrating when we have a large group of non-English-speaking passengers because I feel I am letting them down because I cannot communicate with them, especially during the shows. Hopefully, though, the international language of music will be understood by them and we will provide this with our amazing shows Ticket to Ride, Jump, Jive and Wail and The Big Easy.
Oh, by the way, we did our boat drill yesterday both in English and Russian and my thanks to Roman Mountski for helping with this.

One other interesting point about the Russian guests……………none of them have credit cards and carry huge amounts of cash with them. I spoke to the group leader this morning, a lovely lady called Anna Noncinov (hope I spelt it correctly) who was telling Heidi and I that credit cards in Russia are held by less than 10% of the population as most Russians prefer to work for and spend cash. Anyway, they all seem to be having a good time and hopefully I will learn some Russian so I can at least say “hello,”  “goodbye” and “can I borrow some money please?”

OK, time for the Q & A with the first two questions answered by Heidi.

Hello Leona,
I would love one of those T-shirts you are talking about, maybe it can be my new uniform…..maybe not.
I am trying to get the Italian lingo down as much as possible and practice with the officers here on board, who are all from Italy (and good looking…..shhhh). So for John’s birthday, I can choose a card myself *(hee hee)
I am glad that you start the day with our blog, that’s what I miss when we are out here on the ship, your local newspaper with the first cup of coffee in the morning. Well, I am now writing to you and when I look from the window I see the Vesuvius….so, I suppose I can’t complain.
All the best
Over to my Dutch friends. Actually living in the village next door to the one where I grew up.
They own a supermarket (what a shame, as now I am going to let them know in a sneaky way what I like and then maybe they get the hint and bring me some of my favorite Dutch things when they come and sail…)
Goeie Middag!
Wat leuk dat jullie nog steeds onze “blog” lezen. Zal wel een gekte geweest zijn op de plassen met het mooie weer.
Mis Koninginnedag wel hoor, rustig wakker worden, lekker ontbijtje (met veel smeerleverworst op bruin brood – alleen van UNOX…..van die kleine blikjes..Mmmmm, heerlijk!! – hint hint, verkopen jullie die??, oh, als we het toch over lekkernijen hebben…roze koeken~!!!!)
Dan een koud pilsje in een van de kroegen aan het water, dan naar Amsterdam om de dag te beginnen en af te maken.
Maarja, je kunt niet overal tegelijk zijn. Ik was in Rome op Koninginnedag, ook niet slecht toch.
Ik kom op 11 mei voor 3 dagen naar Nederland voor een bruiloft, dus m’n moeder moet maar even naar de Albert Heijn (oh, sorry….maar het is te ver voor haar op de fiets naar jullie winkel) om in te slaan voor me.

Blijf lezen!!
Lieve groeten van ons.
Heidi & John

Thanks, Heidi. Of couse, none of us have any idea what the last one says as its in Dutch, but my guess it says that I am the best looking man in the world and she is so lucky to have me……..or words to that effect. Let us continue, in English.

LINDA AND MIKE THE STRIPPER (PAINT) – Thank you for your comment and lets start by answering the question about a Bloggers Cruise on the Splendor. Although we have not set anything up as yet for this, I have asked if we can discuss it and hopefully I will have news later this week. I will be there and it is a wonderful itinerary with St. Petersburg (there’s a Russian theme today) being a major highlight. Heidi and I were ther on the Leg End and although I did not get to spend much time ashore the place that struck me the most was THE CHURCH OF THE SAVIOR ON SPILLED BLOOD. I do not remember much about it’s history but it is an amazing building.
Now, you ask why I look upset in that now infamous photo of me in bed. I think the answer is premonition because one day I new she would use it against me. Can a man not gaze longingly at a Angelina Jolie movie without being interrupted? See you soon and stand by for more Splendor information.  Oh, and yes, I meant the Carnival Glory of course…sorry.
RAY McTEAGUE – I will indeed call your aunt and uncle (cabin 2381) and also send them a bottle of champagne from you as well. I will do my best to give them a wonderful first cruise and hope you enjoy yours on the Carnival Miracle. Please let me know if you need any information about your cruise or the ports of call. Cheers.
DON IN KENTUCKY – I am investigating your question concerning if there is a sushi bar on the Carnival Destiny…………stand by, I will have the answer tomorrow.
BIG ED – I agree with you mate. We need to do another cruise for us addicted Bloggers. I am not sure I can see as far as 2009 yet but certainly if the one in 2008 is successful then we can do as many as we want including as requested by others a bloggers cruise in July in the Baltic on the Splendor. How is Mrs. Ed, is she still reluctant to sail? Please send her my best and tell her if she comes on the Bloggers Cruise that me, you and my mate Alan will perform a Chippendales routine.
JENNIFER – A beautiful story and this portion of the blog thingy is sponsored by Kleenex as I have a little tear in my eye.What a wonderful story and what a great advertisement for cruising. You do indeed have a wonderful history with Carnival and to share your honeymoon would be a huge honor. May I suggest that if you do indeed plan to get married on board then you let me know so I can put you in touch with our special department who will handle everything for you. It is run by a lovely lady called Carol Lynman from our Bon Voyage department and I am sure she will be able to put together a beautiful and memorable day for you. I can tell you are a teacher as you graded my performances  🙂 I do remember the Gomer Pyle reference (I was not happy) and assure you that if you sail on your honeymoon then I will have lots of new shows that will I hope make it an even more special vacation for you. However, if you are on your honeymoon won’t you be providing your own entertainment? Please let me know how I can help and thanks for reading the blog thingy.
LYNN AND MIKE SAGARA – Tomorrow’s posting will have details on the best tours for you in Panama and Costa Rica. Thanks and best to you both.
KEVIN – What a cruise you and your family are going to have. I would love to have a drink (Diet Coke ) with you and friend except I cannot let you pay – it will be my treat. Can I ask that you drop me a letter at the information desk when you get onboard so I don’t forget and until then have a safe flight here and I look forward to our rendezvous.
SHARON – My taste buds are salivating at thought of Angelina. Sorry, I mean the Tim Horton’s doughnuts (spelled  the correct way ). Please leave me a note at the information desk as soon as you board and I will give you a call. Looking forward to meeting you and my doughnut.
TERI910 – I look forward to seeing a blaze of yellow as bright as Angelina’s smile on the 13th. Heidi will place an advertisement in Carnival Capers as requested and we will both come and say hello. See you soon and have a safe flight.
NINA – Thank you for booking the BLOGGERS CRUISE. I promise that I will do all I can to make this a wonderful experience. Please let me know if I can be of any other assistance. See you in January.
KENA AND DAVID – So how was the Kentucky Derby? Who won? Heidi says thank you for the birthday wishes. As for guest bloggers, please see the first one below as I introduce the Chief Engineer. Please keep reading the blog thingy.
KATHY KROLL – Heidi here, thank you to you all of the bloggers for my birthday wishes, they were much better than my birthday card from John.


That’s better……….let us continue.

TAZMAN – You have sailed on some beautiful ships and Seabourn must have been a truly amazing experience. Although sailing with me on the Carnival Freedom will be a different sort of cruise, I assure you that it also will provide memories that you will never forget. As for asking if you can eat in the Supper Club every night, the answer is YES. If I ate there every night I would be overweight ………………….all my friends and people who know me are laughing right now. Thank you for your nice comments about the blog thingy and please keep reading.
ANDY – I saw on the news about MOUNT ETNA. It is a little quieter today but if it is still being naughty than this will effect our tours in Messina. Did you know we have a tour to the top of the MOUNT. It is called Mount Etna at 2900. This takes you up by cable car and then down into the crater by a four-wheel drive vehicle and it is truly astonishing. Let’s see how it is when we are there on May 8. I appreciate your support of the blog thingy so very much.
ESSEX DIAMOND GEEZERS……………..Welcome to the official Bloggers Cruise and to think you are from my home county. There really is no difference between the tropical sun-soaked beaches of Southend to those of the Caribbean but I promise the trip will be worth it. I am truly honored by your support and I look forward to swapping Essex girl jokes with you in January. See you then.
– Thanks for the questions and here are the answers.
1). The Carnival Freedom will depart from Puerto Rico at midnight however I am sure that most guests will return onboard by 10 pm which is when we let ‘THE PARTY BEGIN.”  Our New Year’s Eve parties are famous throughout the industry and are so good that most people cannot remember what happened in the morning  🙂 I suggest that you take the City Tour and then get back to the ship and get ready to welcome in 2008.
2). As a Diabetic your wife will have no problems or concerns bringing on her medication or her needles and testing kit. No letter is needed but our friendly infirmary staff will be available when and if needed 24 hours a day
3).You are right to be excited about the Supper Club. I suggest you call 1078 from your cabin as soon as you board to make a reservation. Please allow 2 hours and 30 minutes to enjoy this one of a kind dining experience. No chocolate desserts for the wife though  🙁
4).Not sure yet about 2009 and more Baltic cruising. I am sure we will no more by the end of this year.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
CAROL – Due to the popularity of this blog thingy then I agree we need to do as many Blog cruises as we can. I am going to discuss this with the powers that be and I will let you all know as soon as I can. Please never stop laughing, it’s the best preventative medicine in the world.
KERSPLOTT – START COUNTING !……………………I have a bottle of wine with your name on it!
MAYLA MARTIN – My crystal ball is not showing any more London to New York cruises as we did on the Leg End. Your friends were correct, it was awesome. I think for now we will leave this up to our good friends at Cunard who operate many trans- Atlantic cruises from Southampton to New York. Hopefully Heidi and I will be doing one next year, so maybe we will see you there. Check out www.cunard.com
The Carnival Splendor is going to be brilliant so I hope you will indeed consider sailing with us. My best to you and Jill and hope we see you soon.
CATMAMA – Trust me, she has NOT forgiven me for the divorce card and has stored it away to be used for maximum effect at a later date. I promise there will be more Bloggers Cruises as I realize not everyone can make the date we have scheduled it for. Watch this space.
KAY – YOU HAVE NEVER CRUISED! OK, we need to do something about that. Bloggers, please give Kay an answer in 10 words or less why cruising is the BEST VACATION you can take……………don’t take my word for it, let my blog friends tell you themselves. Thanks for reading and hopefully my daily words have brought you a little closer to taking that first step to calling your travel agent. The next step will be assisted by others who read this thingy. One day the dream will come true.
BELLA – The blog is really not ship specific. I am not sure how many directions it has gone off to in the last few weeks but certainly the Carnival Splendor is getting lots of press but rightfully so. On the June 6 cruise there is no official get together but I know that you, Heidi and I will meet and have a laugh together. Do you have any questions about your cruise? If so, please let me know. Thanks for reading every day and looking forward to meeting you.
ANN MARIE – Thank you for the vote plug………………I am just going to vote myself. is that wrong?
JOSE – Trust me, if you loved Sweden, you will be thrilled with TALLIN, ESTONIA and COPENHAGEN, DENMARK. Thanks for reading each day.
INEZ – I am so sorry to hear about the last time you were in Grand Cayman. Having to be taken off the ship for medical reasons must have been a very trying time for your husband and yourself of course. I am glad to hear that the Carnival staff were so good though and this time on the BLOGGERS CRUISE I promise your stay in the Cayman Islands will be much more enjoyable. My best to you both and see you in January.
SOUTHERN DREAMS – Looks like the Prince and Heidi, you and I are going to get along very well. See you soon.
ROBERT AND SUZANN – I have no words to express our thanks for your loyal support to Carnival Cruise Lines and Heidi and I over the last few years and your 30-something cruises. You have become great friends and you always will be. See you in January (or before  🙂
RICHARD GREEN – I spoke personally to the chief purser on the Carnival Destiny, Marcus, who will have a fridge ready for Mum. Have a great cruise and write when you return.
KATHY – Your travel agent should now have the rates for the Carnival Splendor.  How about one last dance with me? See you soon.
LORRAINE AND BOB – By the way, Lorraine is a favorite name of mine. I used to have a huge crush on a girl called LORRAINE BRIDGES, but that’s another story. As I just told Kathy, your travel agent should now have the rates for the Carnival Splendor so book away and I promise it will be even better than your Carnival Freedom cruise. I will see you there.
KERSPLOTT – Wow, I do not know what to say, let me ask my dad…..Dad (he reads this blog thingy), would you like some railway books? If he says yes, I will let you know the address and I will pay for the shipping. You are to kind. As for Stephanie, I owe her because last week she dipped the end of my cigar in hot sauce.
BARBARA – I would take a photo of the birthday card but it is now swimming with the fishes 🙁
3 GIRLS FROM NEW ZEALAND – I understand your desire to visit Gallipoli but it is a long way from both Izmir and Istanbul and you would not be back in time to make the ship. We do pass the monument on the sea day after Istanbul at 10 am so you can pause for thought. What are your names as I cannot keep calling you ‘ 3 girls from New Zealand “.
Picture of Heidi
TERRI – The lines for the Vatican were unusually long and it was just for the museum. I did try and explain to the guest that we could not control the Pope but she said she would complain directly to the Pope. Does he have a guest relations department?
BIG ED – BIG MAN = BIG BUSINESS CARD…………………you forgot to add “John’s mate” 🙂
I know there are other questions posted that I have not answered but I promise I will do so on tomorrows blog thingy.

May I introduce our CHIEF ENGINEER…………here he is and he has taken the time to answer a few questions. I hope you enjoy it.

Gastone Lazzari
FULL NAME  : Gastone Lazzari
WHERE YOU WERE BORN  : Padova, Italy
1.) How long have you been a Chief Engineer?  Eight years.
2.) What was your first ship as Chief Engineer?  Fantasy
3.) What are the biggest differences between the first ship you were Chief on and the Carnival Freedom? Beside certain new innovative equipment that are present on Carnival Freedom (and not on the Fantasy), Carnival Freedom size is far larger, featuring a far proportionally wider equipment range, which increase the demanding control and the related challenge.  
4.) What do you enjoy most about your job?  “To orchestrate the concert.”
5). How many people work in the Engineering Department ?  74
6). Can you give us a few facts about the Engines and Power Plant. 
Ours is an electrical driven sShip, meaning that the propellers are driven by electric motors. Therefore the six Diesel-Alternators (12 MW each) that represents our power plant produce the electric power that is made available to a main switchboard for the various consumers. For this reason our power plant can be seen exactly as a shore-based one. Our power plant can produce a total of 72 Megawatts (MW). The propulsion at full load takes 42 MW. The rest remains to supply the auxiliaries equipment such as stern and bow thrusters, air conditioning (the biggest consumption), engine room equipment (such as boilers, stabilizers, pumps, etc.), navigation, safety and emergency equipment, and the hotel services-related equipment (such as lighting, catering, entertainment, laundries, F&B, etc..).
7). They say that chief engineers are always great chefs. Is this true and if so what is your favorite dish to cook? Unfortunately, this is not my case…  I do like cooking, but I do not consider myself a good chef (yet). I am struggling to find the time, while on vacation, to take a good course of cuisine.
5.) If you could be the Chief Engineer on one of these 2, which one would you choose?
–  the Space Shuttle 
– a Nuclear Submarine
Definitely the Space Shuttle!

Thanks Chief.
The Chief Engineer is always one of the unsung people on any ship and we thank them for all the work they and their department do.

I was just thinking about the lady who was dreaming of a cruise. I wonder if people still have misconceptions about cruising? If they do, then let it be our job to tell at least one person we know who has never taken a cruise to get on the phone and book one, today.
It does not matter what cruise line (as long as it is, Carnival, Holland America, Princess, Costa, Cunard, AIDA, P & O, or Seabourn) as long as they see what they are missing.

So, go tell a friend, let them read this site and then see for themselves why cruising is THE BEST VACATION IN THE WORLD……………EVER.
Heidi has said to stop writing now. Who does she think she is – the boss.
If she was, then her world would look like this

If Heidi Ruled the World
If Heidi Ruled the World
If Heidi Ruled the World
If Heidi Ruled the World




Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.