Sale Away

July 25, 2007 -

John Heald

Good Morning.

Just thought I would write a few words before I go off to the bridge for our crew-only lifeboat drill which starts in a few minutes. Lifeboat drills are on going and the ship’s Safety Office has constant training classes as, of course, safety is any ship’s primary concern.

I have to admit though, I am not really in the mood. I had one of those nights where sleep avoided me until the wee small hours. I guess it was because I had been banished to the sofa thanks to Mr. Russell Stover and his magic jellybeans. Anyway, I do feel a bit lethargic this morning. After the drill Heidi is insisting that we take a walk and go out in Naples for some fresh air. How fresh that will be will depend on the jellybeans and the fact that there has been a garbage collectors strike for sometime now in the city center.

I have already had cards and gifts from Nancinurse who is onboard along with The Johnson 4, Kurt and Dave and I am sure many more. I know I said this yesterday but I cannot thank you all enough for sending cards to Heidi and I. It means so much and, well, just wanted to say thanks. I got another Aston Martin yesterday as well, something called Hot Wheels, it’s brilliant….although…….my office chair has wheels on it and well…….with those jelly beans I think I could give an Aston Martin a run for its money…………..OK, I won’t mention them again as Heidi says ” that’s enough.”

Right, off to the bridge for boat drill………actually………….I just gave the signal…………….seven blasts of my whistle followed by one long blast…….dam those jelly beans are good.

OK, here I am back from boat drill which lasted an hour or so. This ship’s crew is so dedicated to safety and the ship’s command seemed very happy with the results. We have special squads whose duty it is to carry out various tasks, here are some of them.

1. We have a Sierra Team whose job it is to provide stretcher assistance should anyone need medical assistance.

2. We have the BRIGHTSTAR team whose if paged, no that there is someone who needs immediate and urgent medical attention. This of course involves the two ship’s doctors and five nurses.

3. Then there is the Special Needs Team. In case of an emergency these crewmembers will go to the various cabins we have documented as people with walking, sight, hearing or other challenges and assist them to the Muster Stations.

Then, of course, there are the most important crewmembers who are the fire squads. If there ever going to be an emergency (touchwood) it will probably be fire which as I mentioned in a previous blog is the most dangerous aspect of an emergency onboard. These squads are the first to be on the scene of a fire and their training is and practice sessions are so very important. In a future blog, I will have a guest interview with one of the vice presidents in the office who is involved in planning the safety operations fleetwide.

Let’s have a look at some photos which I have not slapped on before. Heidi took these two weeks ago when she went to Capri. I hope you enjoy them.





Here are two letters for the “In their own words” section:



Lets start some Q and A…………yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

DORTHE CALIMBAS – Heidi and I have a lovely house in Essex, U.K. which is 60 miles to the south east of London. In fact, when the Carnival Splendor sails out of Dover, UK, I will only be an hour or so away from home which will mean hopefully I can see Mum and Dad every 12 days and Heidi can do my washing for me. I see that you have British friends so you know the word fanny has a completely different meaning on both sides of the pond. Hope all is well with you and please keep reading the blog which now has had 475,000 punches.
BOB HICKLY – Thanks mate, I must admit that after the guest telling me he did not understand me and I should speak better English I have purposely been trying to sound the ends of my words more precisely and over stating each word. However, you are correct, my Spanish and Dutch need serious help. Let’s have a test, I will now write two sentences in both Spanish and Dutch and let’s see if anyone can translate them correctly.
1. SPANISH………………..Mi culo esta mucho caliente
2. DUTCH………………….Mij cuncha is so heet von der jelly beans
Perfect Dutch and Spanish right there. Cheers Bob and please write soon.
A CRUISE BY ANY OTHER NAME – A great idea indeed, an interview with a port agent will be forth coming as you are correct when you say they must have some excellent inside knowledge.
LINDA HERNACKI – I know a lot of you miss the weekends with no blogs but as you can see I am trying to make up for it with as many as I can within the weekday period. Sorry you have so much rain, just like back home in the U.K. where floods continue to prove to be a problem. Heidi is well and in fact will be posting her comments later today. Still no news on A.J. but I have not given up hope but I may change gears and make a move for Miss CZJ, I am giving it to the end of August though. Hope you and Mike are well, Heidi and I as always send you our best.
MARK TWAIN AND A HALF – Thanks mate, I hope Southern Dreams weren’t upset at me for slapping on the John Cleese speech which I did to prove that there are subtle and fun differences between our two countries even though we speak the same language…………well, sort of. Thanks for the excellent link Mark and I hope you and the other half are both well and thank you for your kind support.
LFTTNSFCF – All I know mate is that I really have been self-conscious about my accent since my friend from North Carolina told me I was incomprehensible. Anyway, I have many great friends from the South and yes I do have problems sometimes with what they say but at least they speak slowly so you have more time to understand. I am working on my English though and walk around saying ‘HOW NOW BROWN COW ‘……………..hopefully this will help.
Did it work 🙂 ?

Off for a walk in Naples now as ordered by she who must be obeyed………………back soon.

Here I am, back again.

We went for a walk and had lunch in a little Pizzeria type place by the ship. You know, when you are on a no carb diet, the last place you want to have lunch in is Italy. Opening the menu I was attacked by 40 different pizzas, calzones and the fresh bread shouted “eat me” from the table……..I put temptation behind me though and had some Mozzarella and meats while Heidi ate a HUGE plate of pasta………… is not fair………….the story will continue later.

Let’s get back to the Q & A

DAWN – I was brought up by my Mum and Dad to be kind and polite and I do get annoyed when I say hello to guests and one or two just ignore me, I mean, its one word “hello” it’s hardly the Gettysburg Address. I am looking forward to saying “welcome onboard” to you and your family very soon Dawn…….STAY AWAY FROM Alan Adkins, he’s trouble.
BRYAN – I am glad you enjoyed the Cleese speech; he is such an inspiration to me. Talking of soccer I guess David Beckham is going to change the face of soccer single handed in the States. I hope he does but I can never see it being as popular as Baseball, Football and the N.B.A………….LET’S GO HEAT! Hope all is well in Canada and have a Tim Horton’s doughnut for me.
LUV2CRUISE – I know I have made the big time when because you are laughing so hard the dog comes in to have a look at what you are doing. Thank you for the invite to drink some “Blubber,” I am afraid to ask but have to, what is it? I send my best regards to you and your dog…….what kind of dog is it?
KIM – Well spotted. Yes, Gary was not in the photo as he was on vacation but has returned now. He and the entertainment staff provide so much fun at all the activities, I am very proud of them. Ken and Jogi will indeed be on the Carnival Splendor which will enhance everyone’s dining experience so very much. As the time of your cruise gets nearer, please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. And enjoy the two solid gold trophies you won, but don’t put them to near the sun or heating as real gold melts you know 🙂
TOM AND JANE RADFORD – I have sent the elevator to you, should take you straight to the Supper Club. You asked if I can remember all the ships I have worked on………..yes, here we go.
I never got to even set foot on the Festivale or Tropicale but I can tell you they were wonderful ships. I am so glad you are enjoying the blog and your kind words mean a lot to me so thank you.
BILL – ZYDECOCRUISER – I just laughed very hard when I realized I had mistakenly put that I loved PEP Boy sandwiches instead of PO Boy………what an idiot, although Jack seems nice. Great photo and here we are, together again, talking about food………….what a shocker.
PATRICK A RANALLI – Your supper club reservation has been confirmed…………..try the Rib Eye Chop. See you very soon.
THE CHADS – It is good to hear from you again after a long time away.
You asked a really important question about the Bloggers Cruise. You mentioned that your invoice does not have any mention of you being part of the Bloggers Group and you are correct but please do not worry. Weeks before you board, everyone who has booked because of this blog thingy will be asked to complete a simple link thing from the blog plus receive an e-mail from Carnival where you will register and then be eligible to receive the big bag of free stuff.
Roberto is working on this at the moment and more details will follow so I promise you will not miss out on anything. You also asked about shore excursions which yes, you can book on line before you sail and that might not be a bad idea. What are you interested in doing……………let me know please and I will also be letting you know which tours Heidi and I will be doing so you can book those if you wish. Have fun catching up on the blog thingies and welcome back.
ROBERT BOLES – What a great note of tribute to one of my colleagues Mr Jeff Bronson which I have passed to his boss Chris Prideaux who I know is already a big fan of Jeff’s am sure as a Navy man the experiences you enjoyed on a ship are vastly different to the ones you seem to have enjoyed so much on your Cruises. I will indeed be on the Carnival Splendor for your cruise and it will be a proud moment when I shake your hand. All the best mate to you and your family.
GRACE – Thank you for your kind words and I am glad the Cleese speech was one you enjoyed so much. Now, as for the tour, I am a little confused. Please can you send me the tour name you are doing, your last name and the date you are sailing and I will confirm all the details to you. Please do not worry as I am here to help you. I look forward to seeing your next posting so I can assist with your plans.
PAUL F. PIETRANGELO – I want to start with the sentence you wrote that suggested you may write too much on your postings. Please never think that, I love reading everyone’s thoughts, stories and comments as it is what makes this blog unique. Thank you for the story which shows yet again that tourists are great sources of humor. You asked how many people amongst the crew are Italian. On here, we have 51 which includes all the Deck and Engine Officers and support staff as well as other various crewmembers. Of course, the Captain is Italian as well. You also asked how many languages Heidi and I speak so let me list them for you.
As always Paul our best wishes to you and your family.
DEB ROWE – Here is some English accent for you………………..awight darlin, how are ya, lookin forward to seein ya soon love.
LISA AND ELAINE – How are your internet connections? Am I coming in loud and clear?
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – I am glad you liked the photo of Fish and Chips and please tell your partner if he takes you to the Supper Club on your next cruise I will pay for the wine! Happy to hear your screen is free of liquid that is usually covering it after you laugh at the blog, wish I had a screen guard after having that lady spittle all over me the other day. As always, all the best from us both Carol.
TAMMIE – You just made me laugh. I wish I could have said to the man who said I didn’t speak English “you are a nutter” as you suggested but I doubt that would have been part of the acceptable face of Carnival hospitality. I will try it next time though so if you see me flipping burgers next week you will know why. Cheers Tammie and thanks for the laughs.
SHELLY P – I would love to have a Monty Python film marathon on the big screen but it would probably be just me and you watching it. We are the knights who say …………….nigh! Your cousins are washing dishes as we speak 🙂
GIRLDOC – Then again, my statement that it would just be Shelly and I watching the Python movie may have been made to quickly as I see you are also a Python fan. You asked if I was going to be on the Carnival Splendor for its cruise to South America because you want to book. I am not sure is the answer but maybe. I am waiting to see what my schedule will be but there is a good chance. Either way, it will be a wonderful cruise so book now. One day, everything you see before you will be yours………………what ……..the curtains!
VIKKI – Nowiunderstandwhyyourneverwrite-yourfullnameitwouldbeimpossibletoreadanddont-worryaboutthemanwhosaidicouldntspeakenglishitswaterofaducks-backalthoughatthetimehereallypissedmeoff
Best to Matt.
LUV2CRUISE – Its great to hear from you and your words of kindness toward Heidi and I are really appreciated. When you are in the hospitality business like us you have to except that as you said, you cannot please all the people all the time. We certainly do our best and the tiny percentage of people we don’t………well it will not be from us not doing our best. We will be doing random blogs while on vacation as I know so many people are enjoying it but there may not be as many though, especially when the soccer is on or Heidi has cooked my favorite meal. Thank you again for your kind words that really mean so very much and please keep reading the blog thingy.
MARY – The good news is that the Rome at Night tour will be available on October 28 so it will be a wonderful experience for you and you will be able to book this tour once onboard. I am sure your late husband loved strong tea like me, my dad makes a weak cup but my Mum likes it strong like me. The Dutch tradition of dunking the tea bag in twice is very strange as you might as well be drinking water. I will be seeing you in October and if you have any further questions, I will be here for you. By the way the corkage charge in the dining room is $10. All the best and thank you for reading the blog.
SUSAN AND RALPH – You are welcome. I am so sorry the Scrap Books were not available during your cruise; I guess I did not realize their popularity as quick as I should have. I think hearing lots of different accents is part of the fun of cruising, anyway, that’s my opinion. Thank you Susan for your wonderful and fun posting and what exit are you from in Jersey?
DUANE AND LINDA – I remember you well and I am very happy that I will see that big new smile on the Carnival Splendor next year. You will have a lot to smile about I promise.
DENISE AND GARO – Our pools are salt water and do have the correct chlorine levels required by United States Public Health. Hope this helps and I am here should you or hubby require anything else.
HEIDI – BETH AND KEVIN – Thanks to all THREE of you for the posting. I see Mr Cleese has an international following and one day I truly hope I can meet him. If we put him in a dress and had him as the Godmother of the Carnival Splendor do you think anyone would notice?
You also mentioned another weakness of mine, Scottish Shortbread, another Off Limits item at the moment………….Walkers are the best and if you ever see them in the Supermarkets you must give them a try. Thank you for acknowledging the hard work of the chief pursers who do indeed deserve the recognition. Hope things are well with the three of you and hope to hear from you all soon.
PEABODY – I just booked your Supper Club reservation for the Carnival Conquest as you asked. Enjoy and try the Crab Cakes. Please can you give the CD Mark Price my best and tell him he owes me 5 pounds. Have a great cruise.
LONGING2CRUISE – Laughter is needed as you said more than ever in today’s world and I hope now and then this blog thingy provides it for you. All the best and many thanks for the kind words of support.
MILLIE S – Some of the tours on the second day we are in Rome (the day after embarkation) are different because we have to make sure you are back onboard in time before we sail. That is why some of the tours we usually run will not be available on the transatlantic crossing. However, let me get back to you as I will now investigate exactly what tours we are running. You can book the Rome at Night tour once you are onboard. Stand by; I will be right back to you on the next blog.
And here I am with the tours we offer in Rome on the crossing:
Highlights & Regular Vatican
Rome at Its Best
Easy Rome
An Exclusive View of the Vatican
Italian Countryside
Rome and Catacombs
Rome on Your Own
Explore Rome
Vatican and St Peters
DWA 76 – da da da da dda dd da da…………..I am coming to see you as I would love to see where JR lived and Lucy Ewing………….or , like Bobby, was that just a dream:)
LUV CRUSIN – Only 200 and something days to go before you are here. You asked when Todd will be her and the answer is, I am not sure. I have to see how long I can keep going but he will definitely be here from early December until April. He is a great a CD and you will love him even though he is ugly. If you want to see the web cam, here is the link. – just click on the word web cam.
I hope you are enjoying the blog and I will give you a wave from the big screen.
MARK TWAIN AND A HALF – Thank you so much for the kilt joke. I miss Malcolm very much as do many of us. ROGER BLUM……….PLEASE CAN YOU TELL US YOUR FAVORITE MALCOLM MEMORY PLEASE.
SOUTHERN DREAMS – yep, the Grand Ole Opry. From what I hear they are wonderful cruises and a load of fun. If you do go you may bump into Big Ed? Hope you two are well, are there any leaves left?
1ABRLN – I did confirm your Supper Club and will see what your dining reservation is and let you know ASAP. Rude children are not just to be found in America. In the U.K. we have a new phenomena of teens hanging out together all wearing what we call “HODDIES,” which some people find very intimidating. Anyway, I am sure your daughter will have a wonderful time and with your Cruise Critic friends by your side you will have a fun, car free cruise I promise. I will check on the dining room reservation soon. All the best Amy and see you soon.
NORA – Of course. The dining room waiters will not only read the menus to you but also describe in detail each and every dish. This is part of our training in assisting sight-impaired guests so we will be happy to help and we will also give you the menus for the entire cruise so you can decide ahead of time if you wish. I am happy that you all have the technology that allows you to enjoy this blog and I am truly privileged that you take the time to enjoy it. Please send my best to all the girls and I remain at your service and I remain your friend.

OK, I am going to stop there. I will start with OK TEACH from the Where were you in 82 blog and of course I have not started yet on the 40 postings from the Seabourn and Scrapbook blog but I PROMISE to do so tomorrow.

Let’s get on with today’s interview and a very special guest. I have been friends with this gentleman for some time. He worked for Carnival and was a major part of our success. He then went on to work for the Steiner Corporation who, provide the amazing and pampering treatments on ships across the industry. So, here he is, Mr. Glenn Fusfield.

1. Glenn, can you tell us about your career in the cruise industry to where you are now. I have been fortunate to be working in (or with) the cruise industry for 20 years. After a successful beginning of my career in the land based sector of the hospitality industry, I moved to Carnival Cruise Lines in 1987 as an Operations Supervisor. When I left Carnival after 13 years for my new role as Chief Operating Officer of Steiner Leisure Ltd, I was Vice President, Hotel Operations. A very difficult choice was made to leave Carnival having such a great job within such a fantastic organization. However, the level of responsibility being offered to me to join another fabulous company with great leadership was just too compelling and still allowed me to remain a part of the cruise industry, as we are the world’s largest provider of spa services in the maritime industry.

2. Steiner is without doubt the industry leader for onboard Spa treatments, how did the company start and how many ships worldwide are your services offered on. The lineage of Steiner dates back to the 1930’s as a leading hair salon operator in England. The company entered the maritime industry approx 30 years ago doing the salon operations on transatlantic cruises….today we operate spas on over 130 vessels. This year we are on pace to do over 2.5 million services at sea.

3. Your staff are highly trained professionals and so wonderful in what they do. How many employees do you have at sea and where are they recruited from and trained. We recruit from over 30 countries and as of today have over 2,100 staff members working in our spas at sea.

4. We are all very excited about the Cloud 9 Spa on the new Carnival Splendor. What can you tell us about why this will be one of the grandest and best equipped Spa’s anywhere? The Carnival Splendor and the Cloud 9 Spa will be the first spa/facility of its kind dedicated to the North American cruise market. With dedicated spa suites and over 21,000 square feet of luxury spa facilities including a thalassotherapy pool, an elaborate thermal suite, 2 VIP suites and 17 fully outfitted spa treatment rooms, the spa experience on board may be unsurpassed.

5. I have taken a lot of bookings from guests on this blog for reserved treatments across the fleet. Are there any plans to offer online booking services? The plan is to have pre-booking on line by 2008. Resources are being dedicated by both Carnival and Steiner to make this a reality and an enhanced guest service feature.

6. What are your personal favorite treatments and why. I am all for a great couples massage (what could be wrong with that experience?) a strong deep tissue massage (I prefer therapeutic massage over a caress) and to kick back a receive a Royal Shave with the hot towels and all….

7. The ships now offer this amazing Teeth Whitening service. For those bloggers who are not aware of this can you tell us how it works. Within the spa environment, it’s also about beauty….people who want to look better now have instant teeth whitening available to them in the spas on board Carnival ships. We use GoSmile teeth whitening products and their patented teeth whitening service on board… in 30 minutes we can have your teeth 4-6 shades whiter at a very reasonable cost.

8. I found the gym (by accident) the other day and it is magnificent. What fitness services do you offer to guests? I too stumble upon the gym every now and then… in addition to your top of the line cardio and strength machines we offer a multitude of classes including yoga, Pilates, all levels of aerobics, spinning classes and a variety of personal training approaches. On the Carnival Splendor you will see gravity reformers to improve range of motion as well as Tai Chi. Additionally, we are developing many other programs that reach our core fitness philosophy of Movement, Strength and Flexibility.

9. Have you ever considered serving food in the Gym – Ribs, Burgers Etc.? We tried, but the staff keeps eating it all….especially the potato chips….

10. Glenn, if you could choose three famous ladies to be the first to use the new Cloud 9 Spa and advertise the amazing facilities who would they be? Vicki Freed, no better sales person to pitch the facility….My wife who is awaiting her inaugural invitation and Cameron Diaz who would just love our Elemis Body Sculpting and Colon Cleanse treatment.

Thanks Glenn, I would like to volunteer my friend PA 007 who would love a Colon Cleansing treatment.

Cruising is all about relaxing and I truly hope that each and everyone of you consider a massage or specialty treatment………………go on, pampered yourself, you deserve it.

I never wanted this Blog to be a direct sales tool but every now and then things like this come a long.

Carnival’s One Day Sale

Tomorrow, I will be posting the first views of our Bloggers T-Shirts and more information on the Bloggers Cruise so maybe now, you should use the sale and book…………..I would love to see you.

Good news. This cruise, even though we have 3,498 guests onboard we have only 51 pieces of missing luggage. Now, I know that will not help those people who have missing luggage but it is a huge improvement on last week’s 150. I hope this is a sign of better days ahead.

We left a lady behind in Capri. She had taken our “Pompeii, Sorrento & Capri” tour and somehow she got separated from her family, her son, who is in his thirties and his wife. The jet boat waited for 20 minutes and she did not board so it left for the ship leaving poor Mrs. Rose Benedetti behind. The ship had to sail and after speaking to her son he said, “She does this all the time, let’s just go.” Now, I have to be careful here and do not wish to comment too much but I cannot understand how unconcerned her son was. Anyway, we are making arrangements for Rose to meet us in Venice and her son seems to be ok with that. By the way, she was shopping….her son said “It’s not unusual.” Thanks Tom (Jones).

It’s time to say Good night but I want to put this English / American thing to rest with this true story.

An American soldier was in London recovering after an injury and wanted to take a tour on an English double decker bus. He boarded the bus and could not find a seat when he saw a very proper English lady who had her poodle dog on the seat next to her. The American soldier said: “My leg is hurting, please can you move your dog so I can sit down?” The English lady said:” NO, I will not move my dog because my dog is better than you Americans.” The American soldier did not get mad, he just picked up the dog, opened the bus window, threw the dog out of the window and sat down.

An Englishman seated behind him tapped him on the shoulder and said:” You Americans do everything the wrong way round. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you eat with the fork in the wrong hand and just now, you threw the wrong bitch out of the window.”

Good night.

Your friends,

John & Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.