Hello everyone and welcome back.Today, we are at sea and I begin this blog after just finishing my debarkation talk and Q and A. I received the usual questions and I have to say some people seem very confused about traveling still and I sometimes wonder how they made it here.

An example from today’s open mic Q and A will follow.

Another beautiful day and the calm seas and sunshine continue to be with us as we sail to Barcelona.

Let me give you an update on the lost luggage situation this cruise.

The Chief Purser Margarita reports that the airlines lost a total of 66 bags and we still have 37 that have yet to be found. So, while many people have experienced the joy of their luggage finally arriving, there are 37 people who have been onboard for eight days with no luggage at all. As always, we are trying to do our best for them but obviously not having your own clothes causes major heartache and I feel for them all.

I would like to talk about the compassion of one of our guests. The last few times we have called in Dubrovnik we have invited some children from the local orphanages on board and also some children from a school with special needs. This is something that I have mentioned to you before on another blog and I also mentioned it this week during one of my travel talks. The following day I received a letter from a Mr. Rick Shaw, who is a radio DJ from Magic 102.7 in Miami, Florida.

Mr. Shaw asked me to give him a call and after doing so he told me that he was the President of the Majic Children’s Fund and he would like to offer a $1000 donation to the children’s home which is located in Dubrovnik. Obviously this was wonderful news and I thanked him and will be putting him in touch directly with the home so that this donation can be organized. I sometimes feel that I write too much of the negative side of guest input on this blog so I wanted to share this gentleman’s request with you.

I have included his letter and business card in the “In Their Own Words section” below.

I want to say a big hello to Roberto who will have his fraternity sailing on the Carnival Imagination next week. The True Gentlemen of Sigma Alpha Epsilon will be sailing for the second year in a row aboard a Carnival vessel to conduct their annual Leadership School; in fact, they were the first fraternity to introduce this concept. A special greeting to the men of Florida Alpha who are sailing who I am sure are very proud of the work Roberto is doing for this blog. Here is some information via a link thingy…………………..have a great cruise guys.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon

Here are 2 beautiful photos of our passage past the volcanic island of Stromboli taken by Charlie, our Musical Director.

Here are 2 beautiful photos of our passage past the volcanic island of Stromboli taken by Charlie, our Musical Director.

Here are 2 beautiful photos of our passage past the volcanic island of Stromboli taken by Charlie, our Musical Director.




It’s time for some Q & A. Before I start here, is the list of tours that are available on the 28th and 29th of October for the beginning of our Transatlantic Crossing.

At the moment, we are undecided if we will offer the Rome at Night tour or the Angels & Demons tours as this depends on pre-sales or if people book on board.

Hope you find this helpful and let me know if you all have questions.

Date (dd/mm/yy) Tour Code Tour Title Dock Departure Time Dock Return Time
29-oct-07   Highlights and Regular Vatican 7.45 AM 7.30 PM
29-oct-07   Rome at its best 7.45 AM 6.45 PM
29-oct-07   Easy Rome 8.00 AM 2.00 PM
29-oct-07   An Exclusive View of the Vatican 8.15 AM 7.15 PM
29-oct-07   Italian Countryside 8.15 AM 5.15 PM
29-oct-07   Rome & Catacombs 8.15 AM 5.15 AM
29-oct-07   Rome on Your Own 8.30 AM 6.30 PM
29-oct-07   Explore Rome 8.30 AM 5.00 PM
29-oct-07   Vatican & St.Peter’s 7.30 AM 2.00 PM

Here we go:

TERRI910 – Thank you for the John Cleese and Eric Idle apology from A Fish Called Wanda. There are many times when I feel like turning into John Cleese and at the bottom of today’s blog is a near copy of the episode from Fawlty Towers and Mrs. Richards. Maybe I should be allowed one cruise a year when Carnival allows me to be Basil Fawlty. If we do this, we would have to have just French guests on board. Hope all is well Terri.
HEIDI AND PAUL FROM NEW ORLEANS – Hello to you both down there in the Big Easy. The lady with the stained t-shirt really did make me laugh. She really did think that it was my responsibility to return the merchandise and collect a new one for her. She still believes this to be so even though I send her a new t-shirt from the ship. The reply I received was without a thank you but to inform me that it was too small and she needed a bigger size. Sometimes you just have to laugh.
My regards to everyone down there in New Orleans and we think about you all especially when we perform our tribute show “The Big Easy.”
LFTTNSFCF – I would be concerned too. The fact that you would admit to seeing any kind of “thingy” would be worrying. Thank you for your very funny comments. I hope you did make your mind up because the best Assistant Cruise Director, the best duo, the best Supper Club, the best shows and the best crew are waiting for you, most of which will be served up in a smoke free environment.
I love eating jelly beans.
Although Heidi says it’s mean
Making sugar free candy is a noble art
Even if I continuously ………(fill in the blank)
I see that you have just booked the cruise and we are all excited to see you both and finally shaking the hand of a friend. Cheers mate.
NANCY PIERCE – Very good question Nancy. Why do we list Canada and Canada Quebec differently on our international guest list? I am sure you understand that guests from Quebec speak (or refuse to speak) no English, only frog, sorry, French, so therefore, we know to provide them with translated material.
It’s great to hear you enjoyed your cruise with us here so much and I remember the sneeze on stage very well, it was very embarrassing.
My best to you and all my Canadian friends in all the provinces.
HEIDI-BETH AND KEVIN – How are you my three friends? It will be very funny to see the Cruise Director’s face on the Carnival Glory when you walk up the gangway wearing Heidi and John t-shirts. Lots of people seem to be buying them and that in itself is very uplifting. Heidi and I still do not have one ourselves although we have been offered a 10% discount :))
I now see that you also have 2 boys so I guess I should say hello to all 5 of you. So, hello to all 5 of you and all the best.
FENG SHUI TURTLE – What a good call. I have ordered My Big Fat Greek Wedding and it should be here to start playing at the end of the month.
I have only received one complaint from that lady about National Lampoon’s European Vacation, everyone else has said how much they enjoyed watching that movie.
Have a safe journey, see you on Sunday and thank you for bringing my fuel for my jet pack. ……Heidi is not happy.
JUDI – Welcome back and I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed your cruise in June here on the Carnival Freedom. The thanks you wrote about the crew has been passed along to other department heads so that it could be posted on the notice boards. I am not sure seeing me can be compared to seeing Mickey Mouse without his head on but I would consider myself more Goofy than Mickey. Hope to see you on your next cruise and if you need anything I will be here for you.
MISS MARGARET – I love the name Margaret, it’s my favorite auntie’s name, we call her Maggie. Anyway, you will be here soon and I know you will have such a wonderful time as we sail to Greece, Turkey and Italy. Have a very safe journey and please leave me a note when you get onboard.
G COURINGTON – You know what, you asked if the crew will be tired on the last European vacation in October and the simple answer is no. If anything, there is a certain buzz in the air because lots of them will be excited to get back to the States where the crew facilities are excellent and prices are in US Dollars. I assure you of a wonderful trip and let’s make sure we chat nearer the time about weather and what to bring etc. It will be a brilliant vacation, I promise.
JO WADE – Laughter is a great medicine as you so correctly stated in your posting Jo. Some people need a bigger dose, that’s all, or need to drink the whole bottle ! The greatest sound in the world is laughter (actually that’s the second greatest sound in the world). The greatest sound in the world is someone saying “here are the keys to your Aston Martin, John”) and the fact that I am able to share and hopefully provide laughter to so many people from so many places. I am a lucky man.
Please keep reading the blog and I wish you a great and laughter-filled day.
DANNY – hello mate, let me answer your two questions for you.
1. Yes, there is a mini 9-hole golf course here on the Carnival Freedom and also on some of our other ships as well. It is open from 9:00am – 10:00pm daily and located on deck 12 aft.
2. You asked if you could bring a 52-ounce insulated mug for your sodas as you will be purchasing a Fountain Fun Card card. Of course you can mate, I love those things and I was once given one as big as me called a BIG GULP.
Please let me know if you have any other questions and I will be looking for the man with the big cup when you are here.
IAN TAMPEN – I think that you are suffering from ATCOCS SYNDROME. You say you are sitting at home reading the blog and missing the ocean. Well, that sounds to me like the early onset of ATCOCS. You need to take care of this because if you do not it may result in your condition becoming much worse.
Take the case of poor Mr. Derek Tyrell who had stopped taking a Carnival Cruise and decided to sail on another line that shall remain nameless. He was asked to leave after singing Carnival’s Got the Fun at the guest talent show on board the Boring Of the Seas while wearing an “I’ve seen John’s Thingy” t-shirt.
Ian, get help now mate.
PAUL F. PIETRANGELO – Hello Sir and as always it is great to hear from you. Heidi is smiling from ear to ear that you purchased a t-shirt with her name on it. Thank you also for the invitation to your home town and I truly think one day I will accept your offer. You are the second person to ask about the territories in Canada and now I see what you and my other blogger friend were talking about. Therefore, I pass this information on to International Sales and I am awaiting their response.
You also asked about what I like to nibble on except jelly beans. I have to admit I am a big fan of Indian Poppadums. These are spicy, low carb snacks but unfortunately they are very hard to find outside of the UK and India. Heidi really likes them because there are no after-effects.
Paul, have a great day and thank you for supporting the blog and your constant friendliness towards Heidi and I.
JIMNI – What a great idea, diet warm chocolate melting cake. It’s the stuff dreams are made off.
A CRUISE BY ANY OTHER NAME – At Harry’s I had the chicken curry which was served with rice. As rice is full of carbs, I left the rice. My plate cost 70 Euros and as there was more rice than chicken curry, I think I wasted a lot of money. However, when the bill came, I did not need to add on a tip, I just gave the waiter some rice. It was a special treat for Heidi and I although we missed our friends who went there with us last time……….because they paid.
Still no news on Carnival’s ‘ 09 Mediterranean schedule, however, I will ask PA 007 to get on the trail and see what they can find.
All the best mate and I will be back to you soon.
DIANE – Hello Diane and thank you for sticking up for me. I am glad you had such a great time in May and I hope this blog keeps you going until the next time.
All the best from Heidi and I.
JO MYERLY – Congratulations on getting your documents and I am sure you are getting very excited now.
LOIS GRIBOWSKIIWIEIE – I am glad you enjoyed the recipe and sorry about the spelling of your last name, I sneezed when I was typing.
THE PLAZ – Your comments about deck chair saving are right on the nose. Today, I informed guests that if a towel is just left on the chair and nobody was there, wait 10 minutes, put the towel next to the chair and sit down. This is a problem everywhere, in hotels and every cruise line and I truly hope that my constant announcements will have guests adhering to what I have requested. We have a joke about this in England that at hotels the Germans get up at 5:00am in the morning to put their towels on the deck chairs and that’s why today, we have a German Pope, as he was the first to put his towel over the balcony. The problem will continue and I will do my best to make it less of one. Thanks mate and I have to ask, why The Plaz?
ANITA DUNHAM-POTTER – Anita, it looks like, without knowing it, we have just had the same thoughts. Great minds think alike. This is a problem that is now in my top 3 priorities to improve on and I am determined to make it happen. How are the girls? How is the cat? How are you? And look forward to seeing you in January.
TAMMIE – The recipe for the chocolate melting cake is for 4 portions according to the chef. Have you tried it yet? Let me know how it comes out.
KAYENTAJANE – Great idea, let’s upgrade it even further and strap a small electric charge to each guest so that if they do put their towel down and they do not return to their chair within a 15 minute period they are zapped by 1000 volts of electricity…………..ok, once again, I have entered the realm of fantasy.
If you have any other ideas, please let me know. It’s great to hear from you.
MISSING YOU – I see that you met a young lady on the cruise in July here on the Carnival Freedom. You are asking me to provide you with her details and telephone number from the passenger list. Unfortunately, I am unable to do this. However, there is a small chance she may be reading this blog thingy.
Therefore, please write her a letter, slap it on to the blog and if love is on your side, she will reply. If she doesn’t maybe someone else will and we can turn this blog into a lonely hearts club. I look forward to receiving your letter. Until then, you will have to meet her in your dreams. I dream of my sweetheart every night, she is black, very fast and is called Aston Martin. All the best mate.
BIG ED – If you cruise on the Bloggers cruise, I will give you your personal deck chair, reserved in the middle of Lido deck, protected by 2 gorgeous ladies who will fan you with eucalyptus leaves while feeding you luxurious grapes that have been soaking in vintage champagne. What do you think? Thanks also mate for posting the Q and A I posted some time ago. I thank you on behalf of my two fingers which look like ET’s after typing 100 blogs. Did you know that my mate Alan went out with ET’s sister……………………………..EZ.
JTTODDINMAN – Another brilliant poem, by the Poet Laureate.
I especially like the verse about me pushing Ed in a wheelchair, while dressed only in my underwear. Are you suffering from ATCOCS syndrome? I think they should turn your poems into plays. you have missed your calling. You should be on Broadway. Thanks for making me laugh……………………..again
IVANA – Thank you for ordering the t-shirt. I have to admit, it feels strange to hear people have bought something to wear with my name on it. I think we should make Bloggers Underwear next!
You asked about the salon being open early enough to have your hair done before your wedding. I am sure that as in the past the hair designer will be available at whatever time you request because of course, you can’t have your hair done and then go to bed……………disaster ! So, I just checked with the Spa Manager here and she confirmed that, as per usual procedures, the spa will open for you as early as you need. Hope this relaxes you a little more. So, that’s one more off the wedding check list and I can now say I am a wedding coordinator, as well, even though I do not wear pink!
Heidi and I send you our best and we remain here as and when you need help for the big day.
ADIAS.ANGEL – I am told by the Chef that H R Flour means Hard Wheat or Self Raising Flour. Stay tuned into the blog which has now become Hells Kitchen !
IAN H – You are welcome. Please thank PA 007 for obtaining the recipe and PA will be on the case again as soon as they return from the Train Spotting convention. Cheers mate and enjoy making the cake.
PEGGY FORGOTCH – Hello Peggy. You mentioned love is blind…………….and boy am I happy Heidi has dodgy eyesight otherwise I would be sitting here on my own. Yes, all hail and praise to PA007 for obtaining the CWMC recipe and as all of you seem so excited I hope you will report on your success in cooking it for yourself. Tell John (your John) that I hope to sit and talk to him about our favorite show “The Sopranos” one day in person. Thanks for reading the blog thingy.
BRYAN – I am glad you all seemed to enjoy the blog about Dan and Ann. They are indeed so special and I was proud to be part of their special celebrations. They are going to read this blog when they get home so we can all say hello to them soon over this electronic thingy. I think PA 007 is going to be responsible for many bloggers gaining weight after slapping on the CWMC recipe. It is hard though as a Diabetic to keep talking about it………….I need some jelly beans.
Let me know how your cooking goes mate and enjoy the cake.
POPCORNGAL – Your thanks have been passed to PA 007 for the CWMC recipe and to Roberto for fixing the photo stuff. Happy days.
BONNIE AND PRINCE CHARLIE – I love the word CHOGS to describe people who save deck chairs…………..I intend to use this in my announcement so I owe you royalties. There are many great ideas in today’s blog to try and get rid of the pesky CHOGS but the best way is to try and appeal to them to be considerate to their fellow guests. If that fails we will go with your idea. Hope all is well with y’all and really looking forward to talking to you in person about CHOGS, Grits and Chitlins.
MARK TWAIN AND A HALF – Great idea with the clock thing for the chairs. They use this blue clock system in Holland as well as Germany so maybe that is indeed an idea. I will put all the ideas together and send them to our Quality Control people back in Miami. I wish it did not have to come down to this but it is certainly a clear and present concern.
I hope you and your other half are well and, as always, it’s great to read your postings.
SHELLYP – You asked about the renewal of vows ceremony onboard for your in-laws. The company offers a most romantic and deluxe package for this which includes a cake, photos, video, champagne and a service read by the Captain. There is a cost involved and I suggest you contact our BON VOYAGE department in Miami via the telephone or the web site for more information. I can tell you that it is a very special ceremony and one that really will renew their love for each other. Please let me know if I can help further.
KATHY KROLL – Why are you re-thinking Kathy? Did I miss a question you asked, please let me know so I can help. What are you puzzled about? I think one of your questions or postings may have passed me by like a bag full of jelly beans……………please get back to me ASAP.


Now, let me continue by showing you our Employees of the Month. These ladies and gents have been given this honour (spelt correctly) by their Department Heads and fellow crew members and I thought it would be nice to show them to you. Congratulations to them all.



Diana is an excellent person and always straight forward. She does a very good job and always gives her best to help the department achieve sales targets. She does a fantastic job and the guests love her as every cruise she receives many compliments about her work. She is an outstanding photographer and I am very proud to have her on the team.


Team Headwaiter

Christopher has been an outstanding member of the Carnival Freedom start up team. Since the beginning of the start up, he has continued to maintain all the high standards of his job and that of his co-workers. Great job and thank you for all your efforts!


Demi Chef de Partie

Raymond has been an asset to the team since the startup of the ship. Our star employee sets very high standards of food production and has always been consistent. He offers unconditional support to others, is ready to cooperate, and always has a smile that never fades even under the worst of circumstances. He is a motivator, a team player, and our star of the month.


Slot Attendant

Sal has a naturally friendly, upbeat personality and is very dedicated to his job. This being his second contract as slot attendant and the fact his performance was consistently above standard made him eligible to train as a casino dealer. Over the past few months he used all of his spare time learning to deal blackjack and roulette and his promotion to casino dealer will take place in early August. He deserves recognition for his hard work as a slot attendant and for pushing himself to earn his promotion.



Saiful was part of the startup team. He has worked endless hours without a complaint and always has a pleasant disposition. Nothing is ever too much trouble for him. He is a great team player and is always willing to help out his fellow co-workers when he can.


Hotel Steward

Zelimir is a valued team member within the Housekeeping department. He gives his all to complete his job and does so in a professional and timely manner. He takes pride in his work and loves his job. His team members can always count on him for his help. He was chosen as our Star Employee this month because of his hard work and dedication.


Oiler (Greaser)

Jobert always greets everyone with a smile. He is a team player as he is willing to give others a helping hand. He is dedicated and willing to serve, and is always ready for work. He has exceeded all the expectations of his supervisor, and that is why he is our star performer of the month.

Throughout the next few blog thingies, I will be introducing you to my fellow Cruise Directors across the fleet. They will be answering questions posed by me that are designed to highlight themselves, the ship they are on and the itinerary, as well as the excursions they recommend the most. Hopefully, this will help you all if and when you decide to take a cruise on that vessel and also you will know something about your Cruise Director. Before I start with today’s, I want you know that I consider all these people to be great friends and simply the BEST CRUISE DIRECTORS IN THE INDUSTRY.

We will start with my mate Chris Roberts who I have known for some time. He is affectionately called BUBBA because he is from the DEEP South………Tampa, eats in Waffle Houses and drives a truck. However, he is a brilliant entertainer and one of our most popular CD’s…………….here he is……………….enjoy his insight into the beautiful Carnival Legend.

Chris Roberts

Chris Roberts

1. Please can you tell us about your career with Carnival so far. How did you start and when?

I came to cruise ships in 1992 working on Holland America Line as a photographer. After one contract I returned back to college, but felt the call of the sea and came back to ships in 1994 starting my career for Carnival Cruise Lines. I started with CCL working in video services, both on the ships and in our home office in Miami. My background in school was in communications and public speaking and I decided that I would like to become a cruise director. So in 1996 I transferred from video services to entertainment where I became a social host. I had my 1st shot as cruise director in 1999 on board the Imagination and have been cruise director ever since.

2. What ship are you currently on and what is its itinerary?

The Carnival Legend is a 7-day itinerary sailing from Tampa, Florida. Sailing on Sundays from Tampa to Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Belize & Costa Maya.

3.Please can you pick two excursions from each port and tell us why you recommend them so much?

Cayman – Stingray tours – there are lot of them, but whichever one you do, it will take you to one of the most unique experiences in the Caribbean.

Grand Cayman Island tour – this will bring you around to some of the other cool destinations in Cayman including the Turtle Farm and the town of Hell.

Cozumel – Dolphin Swim, an incredible chance for you to interact and swim with real live dolphins!

The Fiesta Party Boat – Cozumel is a party place and if you are looking to have some fun, you can’t beat this tour.

Belize – Cave Tubing and Rain Forest Exploration – the tour of the cruise! An amazing hike through the rain forest plus a trip down a lazy river through some amazing caves.

Barrier Reef Snorkel @ Turneffe with Beach Break – Belize is home to the 2nd largest barrier reef in the world. There is some amazing snorkeling in this port.

Costa Maya – Chacchoben Mayan Ruins – A chance to see one of the Mayan ruins of the cruise. The Mayans are an amazing ancient civilization.

Uvero Boat Blast – an exhilarating ride on your own 2-man speed boat combined with snorkeling

4.What are your favorite activities or events that you host and why?

I always host the Newlywed & Not So Newlywed Game. It is one of the funniest events of the entire cruise. The game is never the same so it is always great to host. Sometimes the answers that you get are outrageous. I also enjoy hosting our Towel Folding Demonstration. One of the biggest parts of our guests experience is the service they receive on board. Everyone always enjoys the towel animals that our room stewards make for them. So getting a chance to work with some of our room stewards and show people how to make the animals is a lot of fun.

5. People should sail on the Carnival Legend? because the Spirit class vessels are some of the nicest in the fleet. We have a great port-intensive itinerary. A great sail away experience from Tampa. One of the friendliest crews a float.

6. What do you enjoy most about being a Cruise Director?

Too tough to say one thing, so many things come to mind: performing, travel, meeting interesting people, and much more.

7. Share your favorite story with us that involve our guests and your job?

I love New Years Eve on ships. It’s the best party ever. Getting to host your own count down with over 2000 new friends is amazing. I would say it’s my favorite thing that I look forward to every year. My favorite New Year’s story is from last year. I was on the Miracle performing on stage with the show band. I could see one clock from the stage but it didn’t have a second hand. I had to move to another area on the deck just about at 1 minute till the New Year. Then I moved to where we had projected the New York Ball drop on a giant screen. For the life of me I could not see where on the screen the seconds were ticking. But I could see the ball already starting to fall. I panicked. I started yelling to the AV manager, “I can’t see the seconds!!!!” It was so packed full of guests on the deck there was a lady right next to me saying “There it is, there it is” and I am looking and still don’t see it. So then she starts counting it down for me, and I start to announce it. By the time I got to “3” I finally saw the seconds on the screen. It was in the lower third of the screen in a very small box, and the guest was bang on. “Happy NEW YEAR!!!” I turned to the guest who helped me and picked her up in a big bear hug and thanked her for helping save the countdown. Then we partied till the wee hours of the morning. Love New Year’s.

8. List your three favorite ports you have visited?

My current three ports: Cozumel, St. Maarten, & Juneau, Alaska

9. Name three ports you would really like to see that you have never been to?

Bermuda, any of the European ports, Roatan (these are about the only ports I haven’t been to that Carnival goes to)

10. Finally, if you could introduce on stage any star, alive or not who would it be and why?

Has to be Jake & Elwood Blues & the Blues Brothers Band. Huge fan. And you’ll see why if you come and cruise with me.

Thanks Chris and if you ever do get to cruise with Chris you MUST see his Blue Brothers Show……its simply brilliant.

To finish with today, I want you to read the transcript of a question that I was asked at the end of the Livorno/Debarkation talk. Now, remember that these sessions are held live with people talking on the microphone so everyone can hear the questions and answers. These are also recorded and played on the cabin televisions which is how I was able to write this word for word (thanks to Heidi for being patient enough to do so)…………….anyway, here is my conversation with the incomparable Mrs.Barsby

Mrs.Barsby: How do I get to my hotel in Rome?

John: What is the name of the hotel ma’am?

Mrs.Barsby: I don’t know.

John: Well, did Carnival book it for you?

Mrs.Barsby: Yes, I am with Carnival.

John: OK, so Carnival booked the hotel then you should have documents to show which hotel you are staying at, can I see them please?

Mrs.Barsby: I don’t think Carnival booked the hotel.

John: Sorry but I think I must have misunderstood you. I thought you said Carnival booked your hotel for you?

Mrs.Barsby: Yes, I am on the Carnival ship but I think the hotel was arranged by Mrs. Perez.

Audience: Snickers can be heard and a few groans of impatience.

John: Who is Mrs. Perez?

Mrs.Barsby: My travel agent.

John : OK, where are your documents, if you show them to me I can see what Mrs. Perez has arranged.

Mrs.Barsby: I left them somewhere at home I think maybe on the table because I left my reading glasses as well.

John: You need to call your travel agent to see what has been arranged, can you do that?

Mrs.Barsby: Can you do it for me?

John: I guess so, can you leave me the name and number of your travel agent.

Mrs.Barsby: The name of the travel agent is Mrs. Perez.

John: Who does she work for, what company and where. If you tell me I can help you so don’t worry.

Mrs.Barsby: I can’t remember the name but my daughter knows.

John: Good, where is she (thinking she was on Lido or somewhere)?

Mrs.Barsby: Philadelphia.


John: Do you have her phone number or does Mrs. Perez have it?

Audience: Laughter

Mrs.Barsby: Can’t you just arrange for me to get to the hotel?

John: Have you remembered the name of it then?

Lady Guest: No, but my travel agent will know (getting agitated now).

John: But you can’t remember the name of your travel agent can you, so I really need you to call your daughter.

Mrs.Barsby: Who is going to pay for the call?

Audience: Loud laughter – a few boos.

John: I will call her and you can have the call for free – what’s her name and number?

Mrs.Barsby: I don’t know the number, she just moved but its somewhere in my cabin.

John: Go and get it………………do you know where your cabin is?………………………(sorry, couldn’t help it)

Audience: Applause and laughter

Mrs.Barsby: Ignores me and leaves.

Audience: uncontrollable laughter

John: I want to go home.

I did get the daughter’s name and we spoke and you know what, she is not staying in a hotel, she is flying on Sunday with Delta Airlines. The daughter said “Make sure she has her tickets as she can be forgetful”……………I will be helping her and Heidi will make sure she is on the correct bus otherwise I have this terrible feeling that she will still be here next cruise.


Your friends

John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.