Good Morning from Civvi again and this time it’s that early morning blog………….it’s 5:50 am. We are about to start our debarkation process and in between organizing this I thought I would start the blog. First things first……………….my morning cup of tea so time to put the kettle on.OK, that’s better, now I am going to start today with talking about the Supper Club. Last night Heidi and I went to the Supper Club with Alan Adkins and his wife Alison. We had not seen much of them because it has been such a busy week and I thought it would be nice to spend the last night off our cruise with them.

So, we went to the Supper Club and had a wonderful dinner all together……………………..except of course something that happened in the middle of the meal. Firstly, let me whet your appetite with what Heidi and I had.

Heidi had:

Sushi Platter – 7 pieces of beautifully made fresh Sushi

Spinach Salad

French Onion Soup

Fillet Mignon – cooked medium

Wasabi mashed potatoes and fresh vegetables

Apple Tart and Granny Smith apple ice cream

John had

Jellybeans

And

Caribbean Crab Cakes

Cesar salad

Double Cut Lamb Chops with fresh potatoes

Cheese Plate

It was a wonderful meal and I cannot see how any one could find fault in the six star service, food and music all for just $30…………………….WRONG.

In the middle of my Caribbean Crab cakes I saw a man heading towards the table. He was obviously upset and clearly I could tell someone had taken the jam out of his doughnut. I expected the “sorry to bother you” start to the conversation but this man must have missed the day manners were taught at school. Here are his exact first words and bear in mind that I was in full conversation flow with my friends and wife. “I want you to come over here and tell these people to shut up”……………yep, those were his exact words………………I slowly finished chewing and then asked the table to excuse me and I stood up .

I asked him what people it was he wanted me to tell to shut up……………..he pointed to a group of 6 people who were laughing and having fun but in no way were loud or obnoxious…….just having fun. I asked the man if he would like another table and he said “no, move them not me.” I explained that I was not in charge here but I would speak to the Hostess. I did so and we both went back to the man who was now huffing and puffing by his table. I saw that the “loud” table were just starting their main course while Mr and Mrs. Angry were just on their appetizers.

The Hostess Tina and I agreed that we could not move the table for six and that we would suggest to the couple that either they moved or they could continue where they were.

Now, before I continue I must tell you about the demographics of the two tables involved. The table for two contained Mr and Mrs. Angry who were in their 40’s. The table for six contained three couples all of which were in their 60’s and by the way were all from Mexico. Now I would have understood if this table was very loud but they were not, they really were just having fun…………in Spanish.

With Tina the hostess by my side and my Crab Cakes getting colder by the minute I explained that were not justified in moving the table and that we could though find them a quiet table for two…………………….do you know what he did………….he through his napkin at me……………and I had one of those mad moments where the little devil inside takes over…………..it was like it was slow motion……….I saw his hand reach for the napkin…………I saw him throw it at me like a small child throwing his toys out of his buggy…………….I saw the napkin flying toward me like a scene from a King Fu movie where the action is slowed down………….the napkin hit me square on the chest and I……………….fell on the floor like I had been poll axed by a punch from Mike Tyson…..I clutched my chest yelling “I’m Hit, I’m Hit” …….now the effect was two fold.

The rest of the tables (approx 40 guests) all of which had been watching this scenario unfold laughed and applauded, the Spanish table were also laughing (in Spanish)………….I looked up to hopefully see Mr Angry find some humour in the situation but nope……….oh no……….he grabbed his wife’s arm and said “We are leaving “………….but then the problem got worse………….his wife said “You go, I came to enjoy my meal and you have ruined it.” ………….OOPS.

Now, I realized that this situation had now caused a major domestic disturbance. Asking Mr. Angry to come with me I escorted him to the back of the restaurant and we had a chat.

NOW, this man was rude, beyond rude and I won’t tell you what words he used to describe how angry he was at this situation. I listened to him for sometime and then it was my turn to speak. After 5 minutes of me talking………….he went back to the table and we escorted him and his wife to the other side of the restaurant where they continued their meal.

What did I say to Mr. Angry that made him change his mind…………..well, I would like to say it was my speech about it being the last night of the cruise and that your wife obviously was upset …………I would like to say it was my speech about not ending the cruise on a bad note…………I would like to say it was the fact that he really had blown the situation out of proportion and infect he was making ten times the noise then the table of six were making…………..nope……………it took just two words…………FREE MEAL…………..yep, I said well sir, let me pay for dinner if you move so that you and your wife can enjoy a last night and not be angry at each other………………he said “OK”……………..and that was that.

I returned to my table. My Crab Cakes were stone cold, Alan was laughing, Heidi just shook her head and we continued our meal. A few minutes later the waitress brought a bottle of expensive wine to the table, compliments of the Spanish Guests. I wish I drank alcohol because it really was a great bottle but we all said Grasyarse and Heidi, Alan and family enjoyed it. I new I should not have done the thing with the napkin, it inflamed the situation instead of cooling it down as I hoped but as I sat there I pondered that $60 worth of free meal was all it took for Mr. Angry to be appeased. It is a prime example that a Cruise Director is always a Cruise Director even in a scenario like this one and I find that people tend to think that I am in charge of everything.

The rest of the meal went without incident and it was overall a great time. When the cheque for the meal came I new I would be paying an extra $60 for Mr and Mrs. Angry’s dinner. I was surprised therefore to see a bill for $103……..I asked the waitress what this was for……………….. “Oh, she said, the man refused to pay for the wine and said you would pay for it.”

I felt the hairs on my back rising but then another emotion took over……..laughter………..I just had to laugh at the audacity of Mr. _____ who got a free meal out of me and who I hope is reading this…..well done mate.

Here is the breakdown of International guests.

NATIONALITY COUNT

Let’s look at some more beautiful photos of Rome.

Rome

Rome

Rome

AND NOW HERE IS A PHOTO FOR THE EMBARRASS JOHN SECTION………..THIS ONE IS MY FIRST EVER EFFORT TO ENTERTAIN, in this case my sister………..GOOD GRIEF……..RED SHOES!!!

EMBARRASS JOHN SECTION

Now for some letters from “In Their Own Words Section”…………..starting with a drawing of Alan Adkins Parachuting over the ship.

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

I forgot to mention yesterday about the young man who wrote a letter saying how much he missed his girlfriend Chelsea and even at the age of 14 he was in love and was having a miserable time without her (please see letter in yesterday’s blog). Anyway, on the morning show I asked him to give me Chelsea’s number and I called at home in Kansas City and hooked them up live on a air……………..she was so shocked when I called and of course she had no idea who I was but after explaining and then hearing her young man’s voice she proclaimed “Holy SH%$” …………..oops again………….anyway, after telling young Chelsea that were live and that hundreds of people were listening to her we carried on with the I miss you, I love you, etc etc………after hanging up …………the young man started to……….cry……….with joy at hearing her voice. It was a special moment………………………14 and in love…………..when I was 14 I hadn’t even spoken to a girl and if I had said the words Holy $H$# I would have received the good news from my Dad’s slipper. I wonder if they will be together forever………………….nope…………..they are 14 after all…………but it would be nice to think so.

On we go with some Q and A……………these continue with the last few from the blog featuring the Fantasy and Big Tex and then the ones from the blog called Grand Designs.

Oh, just before I start, here is some valuable advice regarding those people who have booked the Carnival Splendor and have been asking about Russian Visas. Cruise ship passengers can currently visit Russia on visa-waiver scheme provided that the stop in the port of call doesn’t exceed 72 hours and tourists stay overnight on board of the cruise ship. Cruise passengers may disembark from the ship without a tourist visa if they participate in tours organized by cruise companies. Passengers, who are not participating in tours and wishing to disembark, will need to obtain a Russia tourist visa. Passengers won’t be permitted ashore if they don’t present a valid passport, a Russian visa and a voucher issued by a Russian travel company or another authorized organization. Cruise passengers cannot obtain a visa in Russia. Visas are issued in the country of residence before departure.

So basically, unless you have a Visa you cannot get off the vessel unless you are a ship-organized tour. If you are on a tour Carnival will provide a blanket visa for everyone. Let me know if you have any further questions on this.

Right, back to the Q and A

LISA K – Hello Lisa and thank you for this wonderful posting. Congratulations to Big Tex, I have never actually met him but it seems he has plenty of fans who have enjoyed him as their Cruise Director. When I read words like you have written …”Reading the blog keeps me connected to cruising” makes me feel very special and is the extra energy my two fingers need to continue to dance across the keyboard. I wish you and your husband all the best and please keep reading the blog thingy.
POET LAUREATE – Another classic from one of the greatest poets of our time. I especially enjoyed the jellyfish reference and I was wondering from where you draw your inspiration? We are all very grateful for the time and effort you put into composing these poems and one day you will be reading them on stage on one of our ships. All the best and we salute you.
GRACE – By the time you read this you will be here……………..yippee.
WINE WANDERER – I am very happy to hear that you have booked the two trans-Atlantic crossings on the Carnival Freedom. I certainly will be there for one of them and hopefully both. I have confirmed that we will have two formal nights and one elegant casual night on the crossing, it seems the best way to go from experience. Please would you let me know if you need anything before you sail and I will be here should indeed you do. All the best and see you soon.
NOW, QUESTIONS FROM THE BLOG CALLED GRAND DESIGNS
JO AND DAVE – I am glad you liked the animals we use in our Teddy Bear workshop but I am sorry to tell you that the Elephants have left……..they have packed their trunks and said goodbye and are now cursing on the Queen Mary 2. Heidi will take some photos of the Galley later today so look out for those on future blogs. You will be here soon and I really look forward to meeting you both.
THEPLAZ – You asked where the photos of the Harry Potter crew party were taken and I can tell you they were on our outside crew deck on deck 9. The crew had a great time and really deserved the fun they had. I am glad you liked the interview with Joe Farcus. It was an honour to interview him especially knowing how busy he is at the moment designing the Carnival Splendor and the next two ships. I am glad that you are still looking forward to reading the blog everyday and I hope you are well mate.
BIG ED – Thanks for the hard work you put into making the Bloggers Album each and every day. I understand you don’t particularly care for Alaska but thanks anyway for taking the time to put my Dad’s train photo in. We all appreciate your support especially me. Thanks mate.
JO MYERLY – You asked which area on the ships you can buy the scrapbooks. The answer is the photo gallery which on this class of ship is on deck 4 forward. Each class of ship now has them onboard and soon we will begin the lessons that obviously seem to be so popular. We have a brand new shipment arriving here in Barcelona. See you soon for some fun and scrap booking.
DAYLE WITH A Y – OK, lets get straight down to answering your questions mate.
You asked if I recommend purchasing your tours online or waiting until you are onboard. The simple answer is this. If you are certain you know what you want then yes, buy them on the internet. If you are however in any doubt then may I suggest you wait until you are onboard and then you can decide? This leads into your next question of when I hold these talks. The Shore Excursion talks are always on the sea days at 11 am and cover two or three ports well in advance of us being there. The only exception to this is the talk for Naples which is held on the day of embarkation at 4:30 pm. Now, to the lobster and do we serve it Venice night. ………answer, NO. Lobster is served on the first sea day which is also our formal night so you will be able to enjoy Venice and not miss the Lobster. Please do not foregut that Lobster is available very night at the Supper Club which I hope you will experience at least once. Now to the most important thing…….presents. Heidi would love something from the Dutch Bakery and just to even think of her is very special. So, you will be here soon and please let me know if I can do anything to prepare you for what I am sure will be the best vacation you two have ever had.
NANETTE – Thank you for your kind words as always and especially laughing at me dressed as a Sperm Of The Devil. Today, all I want to say is that I am thinking of you there in San Juan. I see that Hurricane Dean is on its way into the Caribbean and I hope that you and all my friends in the Caribbean are safe and well. We are thinking about you.
BRYAN – It looks like the interview with Mr Farcus was very popular which makes me very happy and I am sure he wishes you well in your pursuit of a career in Engineering and Design. You asked if I have read the Harry Potter books but the answer is no…………………not yet anyway,…………….maybe in the future 🙂 At the moment I am reading the biography of Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin Atlantic and when that’s finished (probably November at this rate) I have a book by favorite author Andy Macnab to read. What are you reading at the moment?
NATE’S MUM – Alan Adkins left today and I gave him all the drawings the kids did of him. Some are going home with him and some will be framed and placed behind the bar at his favorite Pub, The Cliff in Southend On Sea. I had a lot of fun with him here. Hopefully my other friends will come and visit soon, they are in the Baltic at the moment watching Ballets and Operas……..brave people that they are. Hope all is well with you and Nate and I expect you will be saying goodbye to him soon as he heads for the Carnival Elation. Again, our best to him and of course to you.
JIMNI – First of all I apologize for not answering your question earlier. Either it did get lost in cyberspace or I must have missed it………..regardless, I apologize. Now, let me answer your question. First of all, yes, you must take the Private and Exclusive View of the Vatican. As I have said many times on this blog thingy there is nothing to compare to this tour…..nothing. Now, you asked what happens to your luggage. Well, you and your luggage will be on the same bus the entire time you on the tour. When the excursion is completed, the bus will either unload your luggage in front of the Vatican and there you will find lots of Taxis or the bus will take you to the airport. If you decide to do this then you can take a taxi to your Bed and Breakfast………………do not miss this tour, it really is that good. Thank you for sending the link things for hiring an Aston Martin in Miami. I will be only there for a few days but it would be fun. I think it’s a dream though but not a bad one to have. As for who is going to be Godmother of the Carnival Splendor ……….well, maybe some clues will be forthcoming………standby. Until then, please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you and please keep reading the blog thingy.
PAUL F. PIETRANGELO – Goodness me, I cannot believe how much those two T Shirts cost you, I feel very guilty. Yes, those were my thinner days and as you will see in the blogs still to come I really have doubled in size. It’s so easy to do here especially surround by food all the time. My biggest problem was that I used to miss dinner, do the shows and then eat late ant night and then go straight to bed. I really don’t have a big appetite but I am very much a comfort eater and that is what I am trying to change now. I am happy to hear that you also enjoyed Joe’s interview and his mind is truly incomparable. Well Paul, enjoy wearing the World’s most expensive T Shirts and I can only thank you again for all you’re sincere and special words of kindness. We send you our warmest regards.
DEB ROWE – Done – as requested……sssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
SNOOPY – Thanks for the link Snoopy. My Dad is steam train mad and his ambition is to build a model of an engine called a BIG BOY. This is a famous old American giant Loco but I have never been able to find one to buy him. He will love the link you sent and thanks for thinking of him…………I have to ask………..why Snoopy?
KATHY KROLL – What an amazing career in dance you have had and what stories you could tell. I know from experience the amount of work that goes into opening a new show and next time you sail maybe we can get you together with the cast as I know they would love to meet with you. I must say that you still look Stunning and I am to be very careful that I say with much respect as your husband is 300 Ibs and 6 foot 4. Please keep reading the blog thingy and I always look forward to your postings.
KEVIN – You rightfully seem concerned about the Caribbean and the effects that Hurricane Dean may have on the islands. I have been through many such experiences and seen for myself the devastation they can cause. At the time of writing it seems Jamaica could take a big hit and lets all hope and pray that this Dean fellow quickly disapisates (spelt correctly). I am sure all will be well for your forthcoming cruise but as of today Carnival has already changed routes for the Carnival Miracle and Carnival Destiny to make sure the ship stays in safe waters. I hope that by the tomorrow’s blog the hurricane will have decreased in strength. Thank mate and I hope you and your family are well.
LFTTNSFCF – I am now very curious as to what your Halloween costume will be especially as you mentioned playing a Waltz which will be no problem by the way. I guess therefore I will need to find another judge and regardless, you can have a dozen Gold Trophies win or not. As for me eating a bag of sugar free jellybeans, I don’t think Gone with the Wind is severe enough, try Gone in Sixty Seconds.
LINDA HERNACKI – Sammy is on his way back home as of yesterday and there were a few tears as we said goodbye. He said “woof” and then walked off the gangway stopping only to cock his leg and pee. The next bloggers cruise is definitely something we will continue to talk about and hopefully we will all come to the right decision. I hope you are enjoying the blog and the photos and my best as always to you and Mike.
KATHY KROLL – .Tell Lee Paul he is hired…………payment……….a solid gold plastic trophy.
KEVIN – There will be the grand unveiling of Alan Adkins live on the Bloggers Cruise and I will allow Big Ed the honour of unmasking him. I will then be posting the photos on the blog thingy. I am not sure about dinner but Heidi and I are doing something very exciting and very special in Venice which I can’t tell you about yet but I promise to nearer the time……cheers mate
CAPTAIN CHUCK – I RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE Captain and all therefore is set. Have a wonderful cruise and a special anniversary. Take lots of photos and report in when you return. Thank you for the belated 20-year anniversary wishes and I hop that we meet very soon. Best to you and hope Dad is doing OK.
SHANNON – Welcome back. I hope you had a wonderful cruise recently here on the Carnival Freedom. You asked what the silver cup I was wearing round my neck was. Well, that’s really what it is ………….a cup……………..it’s a Sommeliers wine tasting cup. It’s made from Solid Silver and wine experts use it to taste the quality of the wine before pouring it. These cups were an old tradition that is still relevant today and in fact I still have mine somewhere at home.
You asked about the recipe for the fabulous Chocolate Warming Cake. I slapped this on a recent blog and if you type chocolate cake into the search page all the references to it as well as the recipe itself will come up as if by magic.
It was an honour to have you onboard and until the next time, please keep reading the blog thingy.
SUSAN B – I guess I deserved that after the Heidi bra reference. Although, I have to say the only way Fatima and I will be reacquainted is if the roles are reversed and I get to shove a plastic hose up……never mind. Alaska seems very popular and again I am going to have to study what will be the best for everyone before choosing the destination for the next bloggers Cruise. My best to you and Mr. Cheap:)
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – Let’s start with the subject of Alan Adkins. Yes, the pictures did make him look a little feminine but kids draw what they see. Yep, you are right on the nose, that was the Holiday and that was me in the bar department in 1987. I will be slapping on more old photos of me soon, glutton for punishment that I am. Thank you for your many words of praise for Joe Farcus. He is one of the reasons Carnival ships stand out from the crowd and your praise of him is well deserved. I always look forward to seeing what he has conjured up every time I walk aboard one of the ships he has designed. The Harry Potter party was awesome and the crew dressed up as all the characters. I don’t know their names but there wasn’t a broom to be found anywhere on the ship that night. Let us know how you find the new and improved Carnival Imagination and indeed it is certainly on the list for the next Bloggers Cruise. Carol, thanks again for taking the time out of your working day to write and all the best from us both.
KELLIE O’LEARY – Let me start by saying how sorry I am to hear of the illness in your family and I hope that things are improving daily for you. I WAS INDEED ON THE CRUISE YOU MENTION ON THE Carnival Glory and yes, we had to leave in Belize due to the sudden and sad passing of Heidi’s father and the age of just 62. That was a terrible time for us and although the Carnival Glory has happy memories the overall feeling is one of sadness. But, to happier thoughts and I will indeed be with you on the Carnival Splendor and of course I know it will be a wonderful time for all of your family. To hear you say that the blog has kept you going through these difficult times is truly wonderful and I am so very happy that occasionally I am able to bring a smile and a laugh to you and your family through the difficult summer you have had so far. Please keep reading and Heidi and I send our warmest regards and best wishes to you and yours.
BIG ED – Hello Mrs. Big Ed……..how are you. I just wanted to say thank you for letting Mr Big Ed book the Bloggers Cruise. Please send washing instructions for his underwear so Heidi has them…..we don’t want them to shrink now do we.
CRUISIN SUE – I have ordered your meteor and will appear dragging a big sign behind it declaring your love for this blog. I am really happy to hear that your Carnival Pride cruise was so great and its great to hear you say that you enjoyed Jeff the CD and Michelle the Assistant CD so much. Thank you for the offer of the jelly beans although I think if Heidi hears that word one more time I may be living with the dogs forever……….she is firing off a barrage of air spray as we speak. All the best and I look forward to hearing from you again before you sail.
.ADIAS.ANGEL – The Carnival Bears are at the moment just sold onboard during the Workshop but let me see what I can do to get these added to the Bon Voyage list of products. As for the scrap books..I think I may have good news for you soon so watch this space.
I hope you will allow me to stop there as I have boat drill shortly and I want to get this blog out there.

As I mentioned earlier in the Q and A, Heidi and I have been invited somewhere very special in Venice and of course we will be taking the cameras with us to capture what we see.

Here is today’s guest interview featuring yet another of our fantastic cast of Cruise directors and the ships they are sailing on. Today, we feature someone who was already mentioned earlier Jeff Bronson who is currently aboard the beautiful Carnival Pride.

Jeff Bronson

Jeff Bronson

1. Please can you tell us about your career with Carnival so far? How did you start and when?

Been with Carnival 10 years now. Applied as a DJ and hired as a Social Host in 1997. Promoted to assistant cruise director and then cruise director. Been CD for over 3 years now.

2. What ship are you currently on and what is its itinerary?

The Carnival Pride visits the Mexican Riviera on a 7-day cruise. Starts from Long Beach, California, sea day 1, sea day 2, Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Mazatlan, Mexico, Cabo San Lucas, Mexico and then the final sea day.

3.Please can you pick two excursions from each port and tell us why you recommend them so much?

Puerto Vallarta -the canopy tours and the Rhythms of the Night tour-they are so much fun, something completely different from normal life and when done, you can’t stop your joy at having done them.

Mazatlan-Sierra Madre Tour and Las Moras Ranch Tour-both tours take you to places of breathtaking scenery. Sierra Madre has many stops and you can walk around to see ancient churches, step back into time, and get away from it all. Las Moras has peace and tranquility at a magnificent hacienda in the valley of the Sierra Madre Mountains. It’s fantastic.

Cabo-Mini Jeep Rhino Tour and the Cabo by Land & Sea Tour. The Rhinos are fun off road two seaters and you get to go fast, slow, four hi, four lo, go through canyons, visit the beach and then go into the bluffs. Cabo by Land & Sea takes you to many interesting stops, gives excellent photo opportunities of the ship and Los Arcos, plus visit neighboring San Jose. Excellent sightseeing at a good pace.

4.What are your favorite activities or events that you host and why?

My favorite events are the Welcome Aboard Show and the Debarkation Talk. The Welcome Show gives me an idea how the cruise will go and I love all the unexpected things that come up during the show. The Debark Talk is a gathering of new and old friends and is a time for reflection on how the cruise has been going. Also, the debark info is always changing and keeps me on my toes as the talk always has to be tweaked. I always have a good laugh sharing funny moments during the talk too.

5. Fill in the blank please……………..People should sail on the Carnival Pride because it is a perfect balance of cruising and port visits.

6. What do you enjoy most about being a Cruise Director?

Making choices that can have a positive impact on guests and crew.

7. Share your favorite story with us that involve our guests and your job?

Singing a song (very badly, by the way) one night at a show and one woman stuffed money down my pants when I was at the edge of the stage and then at the end of the song, another woman throwing her bra to me. I was struck speechless by both events.

8. List your three favorite ports you have visited?

Puerto Rico, Puerto Vallarta and St. Thomas.

9. Name three ports you would really like to see that you have never been to?

Bermuda, Hawaii, and Venice.

10. Finally, if you could introduce on stage any star, alive or deceased who would it be and why?

Richard Pryor because he is very funny.

Thank you Jeff and I am sure everyone who sailed with you will have enjoyed your humour and fun and we all wish you continued success on the Carnival Pride.

OK, what else. The Welcome Aboard Talk went well. The room was very full and hopefully I was able to make sure everyone knows what to do and see in Naples.

I forgot to show you these photos from the Talent Show this week. I had a guest Assistant Cruise Director……………….this is James, age 2 and a half and he was a star.

James, age 2 and a half and he was a star

James, age 2 and a half and he was a star

James, age 2 and a half and he was a star

My mate Alan had a great time as did his wife Alison and kids William and Katie. I was really nice to Alan and apart from getting the kids to draw his picture I made sure I did not play any tricks on hi………………well, except one. I had pre planned this with Ken my mate and Senior Maitre’D and together we made sure that the last formal night was one he would not forget. I was standing on top of the gallery looking down at him and got a bird’s eye view of what was happening.

Now, Alan did not suspect a thing because I was not eating with him and therefore he really had no clue this was a joke. We started off by making sure whatever he ordered his portion would be smaller than anyones. First, he had the shrimp cocktail………everyone else had 5 shrimps, Alan had 3…….he then ordered the Pumpkin Soup…………he got a quarter of a bowl. Now, at this point you have to understand Alan is not the sort of guy to say anything, he would never say anything was wrong; he is that sort of guy. When his Caesars Salad came though and it was just two lettuce leaves and one crouton I could see the look of “what the hell is this?” on his face but again, nothing was said to the waiter. Then, came his steak. This time we went the other direction and instead of a beautiful piece of Fillet Mignon on his plate, he had what I can only call half a cow………….still he said nothing.

Then, plan B started. I had bribed this beautiful guest with champagne to help me. Her name was Paula who I know is reading this – thanks Paula. Paula walked up to the table and without stopping for a moment, bent down, kissed Alan on the cheek and said “Same Time Tonight Big Boy” and walked off. Alan was bright red, Alison was stunned, I was laughing so hard the jelly beans kicked in and I had to move as I didn’t want people to associate the smell of stewed cabbage with me. Now I could see Alan desperately explaining that he new nothing about this girl and then……………………along came Melisa (the second of my bribed guests).She walked up to Alan and as Paula did, she kissed him and said…………my cabin number is 2241……..I will be waiting…………and she walked off.

I could see Alison looking at Alan as if to say……….what the %$#@ &^%$#@ is happening. Then, finally along came my third actor who was just as stunning as the first two except their name was……………..Marcus……………he was 6 foot 5 and very butch……………….he walked over to Alan, kissed him on the cheek and said…….you were great last night.

Alison looked like she was dreaming, Alan was redder than a big red thing that was turning red and I walked away laughing as hard as I had in a long time leaving the smell of stewed cabbage behind me.

Goodnight

Your Friends

John, Heidi and Alan

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.