Don’t Worry Be Happy

September 22, 2007 -

John Heald

Good Afternoon Everyone ……………I have decided that this blog is going to be one of pure happiness and joy complemented by some silly fun as well.

Why ?……………………………………….Well, after yesterday and the day I had I have decided that today I am going to only write about good things and henceforth this will be a happy blog……………….well mostly, because in order for me to tell be Mr. Happy I need to quickly paraphrase why yesterday was a day to forget.

1. Dropped Heidi’s expensive watch.

Heidi had left her watch by the sink in the bathroom and I accidentally knocked it onto the tiled floor smashing the glass…… guesses where I have been all day.

2. I met that mad bat of a French lady I described in the Blog yesterday and she really got under my skin.

3. My sugar level got really low after dealing with Cruella I didn’t feel like eating…………..I felt a little “floppy” and therefore tested my sugar ………….oops ………..that was me in the doghouse inside the doghouse.

4. Tara, who did not know I was diabetic who had bought me back a beautiful box of French Chocolate Truffles………a thank you for organizing the On Deck for the Cure walk and for allowing her to “drop her inhibitions”………………..I was really happy and grateful but also really mad at myself that I had been such a bloody idiot to allow myself to be diabetic and therefore not able to enjoy the chocolates.

5. I got screamed at by the brother of the people who missed the ship yesterday in Cannes. After we sailed he asked to speak to me and decided that it was my fault and that I should have warned them about the train service to St. Tropez ………….he used a lot of bad language and it took all of my professional experience not to insert a large box of French chocolates in him.

6. Finally, I got some bad news from a friend at home………….nothing I want to share at this point but enough for me to feel like packing the bags ……….OK, asking Heidi to pack the bags ………….and buggering off home.

But, here I am and today is as a great friend e-mailed me last night and said “a new day” and therefore, it’s a happy and fun blog that I share with you this Friday.

Here is a photo then of what Big Ed, Alan and myself would have looked like a few thousand years ago. I suggest you skip this bit if easily offended.

Here is a photo then of what Big Ed, Alan and myself would have looked like a few thousand years ago. I suggest you skip this bit if easily offended.

See, I told you………………………..It’s going to be a happy blog.

Good news…………………no bad news today. As the cruise ends I can tell you that although I upset one guest who thought I was treating them like a child ……………… I bothered ……………………….the cruise finished with only 24 cases of ………ummmm………Mr.D………….if you know what I mean ………………..and no NV outbreaks…………so I think I shall continue my announcements and try and help the guests stay well.

Also, here is a lovely letter I received a copy of about the Captain and staff of the Carnival Ecstasy………..have a look.

I wanted to share my most recent cruise experience with everyone. A little back history I have cruised with Carnival 4 times. My most recent cruise was on 09-08-2007 on the Carnival Ecstasy out of Galveston Texas. This is how my experience was: As soon as you set foot on the Ecstasy on the Empress deck you can already tell this will be a different cruise experience. The crew has a different aura about them they are happy and smiling and genuinely make you feel at home right away. Tina Noble was our cruise director and had been an Asst Cruise director on another cruise I was on about a year ago. She was phenomenal she was so much fun and never missed a beat. She danced under the stars with us on the sail away party with her huge white shoes. She made it a point after I told her my name to never forget who I was. I love her trying to speak our language in Texas tongue by saying things like Boogey Woogey and teaching country line dances. The morning of debarkation we where delayed due to Hurricane Humberto and she had the fun patrol running around with Free Hug signs which my daughter loved. She also had the comedian Tony Stone perform to kill time and the band up on promenade deck to keep everyone toe tapping. They showed a movie for the kids and really made us feel the 6-hour difference was just a small amount of time. She really sets the tone for the staff and makes you feel like for the 5 days you are on board that you are at home.

Captain Scala I must say was amazing. He was the only Captain on any ship I have been aboard that really took the time to stop and talk with anyone. He was like the dad of the ship. He took time to do a Q&A session with us and explain how things worked. He came over the speaker and informed us about everything and why it was done. During the delay coming back he got on the speaker every step of the way and explained what was going on. He is just an amazing man and I hope to cruise with him for years to come.

Vernon in the dining room of the Wind star at the 6:15 seating. Well I called him Big V for 5 days he was of course my best friend because I did not have to cook. He was such a nice person and my family got to know him during our time. He never missed a beat and always served us with a smile he could do anything aboard the ship with his knowledge and personality and it was a pleasure to have him and his assistant Vernon or little V serve us. If he happened to see us at lunch or breakfast he would always make a point to come and say hello and see how our day was.

The staff and crew aboard the Carnival Ecstasy recently won the Eagle award which is proudly displayed in the grand atrium. Every single one of them deserves this and I believe that every ship in the fleet can take notes from the Ecstasy crew. I will soon book my fifth cruise with Carnival and cannot wait to re-join my family on the high seas. I have enclosed a few pictures of my cruise and the wonderful staff of the Ecstasy. I cannot say enough good things and would love for you to pass this letter on to the crew so they may know how much they meant to me and my family.

Angela George.

Great letter and a wonderful example of everything that is good about Carnival and her employees………well done the Carnival Ecstasy team.

See, a happy blog.

Now, let’s have some happy photos. These were taken from a trip yesterday to Axi, a village in Provence in the South of France. Hope you enjoy them.

Axi, a village in Provence in the South of France

Axi, a village in Provence in the South of France

Axi, a village in Provence in the South of France

Axi, a village in Provence in the South of France

But first, the news

A man has been found wandering around his hometown at 4 am this morning in a confused state wearing a Royal Caribbean shirt, fish net stockings, suspenders and a black thong. The man was also said to have an orange and a banana in his underwear. When taking photos Police have removed the Royal Caribbean shirt to save his family any embarrassment.

Here are the letters for today’s In Their Own Words Section

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

And now Q & A…………………starting where I left off yesterday.

KAREN R – Thanks for catching up on all the blog thingies and even though my fingers are tired it is rewarding to know that so many people still enjoy the blogs so much. I wish I could offer your husband a cruise because he is a minister but if he did sail and volunteered to do a service we would of course be very thankful. I know you have said that you have never cruised with Carnival before so it is my job to see if I can persuade you to come and see for yourself just how wonderful a Carnival cruise vacation is. Therefore, I remain at your service and I hope one day I can say “welcome aboard” to you both in person.
DANNY – Thanks mate for the link which really made me chuckle. I wonder if Mr. S would be mad if I slid a copy under his door…………….probably! Thanks again and live long and prosper.
LISA AND ELAINE – the sunsets are waiting……….bring your camera.
SUSAN B – I am so sorry to hear that you to have been affected by breast cancer following the loss of both your grandmas. I was sad to read that your were crying reading the blog but I see also that you were gladdened by seeing so many people donating their vacation time and money to help raise awareness and a to help find a cure as we all walked on deck. My thoughts are with you and thank you for your wonderful and so sincere words.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – Gary says he will be happy to be employed as your personal photographer and will work for free. How nice that you and so many others want to send things (I hope holiday cards) to us while we are at home and I will slap on the address in a few weeks time……………as there is nobody at home yet all the mail is being diverted. Thank you also for saying hello to Roberto as he is so important to the continuing success of the blog thingy. All the best Carol and hope you are well.
BIG ED – You are so kind to keep doing what you are doing in the support and enhancement of the blog. Thanks mate.
LFTTNSFP – Very funny! 39 days and counting……………… the way…….we will have a welcome aboard cocktail party for the TA bloggers on the 28th at 7:30pm………………not in the cigar bar
LINDSEY B – OK, something big you say, well you asked the right person. I am going to suggest you look at the brilliant Carnival Liberty sailing out of Miami. I particularly recommend the Eastern Caribbean cruise it does to St.Thomas, Antigua, Tortola etc………..have a look at
You will love the shows, the crew, the big screen on the Lido deck and have a wonderful time I promise. Have a look at this and then send me your questions. My two fingers are ready to type the answers and hope to hear from you soon…………..before you are abducted by green things from outer space.
DWA76 – I wish someone would Photoshop me. Hope all is well mate.
INEZ – We will be thinking about you this week as you go for your check up and I know everything will be OK. I hope to hear from you soon so we know that is the case. Thank you for your beautiful words and I wish you and Dean many more cruise adventures together. Heidi and I are thinking of you.
HEIDI & BETH AND KEVIN – Can you send me the address of your blog thingy as I would love to read all about your Carnival Glory cruise. I hear Wee Jimmy is not so wee anymore. It’s always great to hear from the three of you and please write soon. Cheers

We now move to comments and questions from the blog called “The Cleese Transcript”

But first…….the news

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious!

Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the incident.
The Queen turns to President Bush, “Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a queen cannot control.”
George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replies, “Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”

DWA76 – I am glad you liked the transcript of the John Cleese interview mate and you are right, interviewing him did help me realize one of my dreams. Thanks so much for the kind words and why not rent A Fish Called Wanda tonight.
CAROL SCHOENBERGER – My vote is also for Catherine Zeta Jones. I also have seen in Heidi’s magazines that AJ has had and is having some problems. Now, don’t get me wrong. I would still crawl through a pit of vipers to get to her but I think CZJ is the perfect choice for Godmother. I would love to see:
Sound good?
Maybe I should organize the ceremony…………..mmmmmmmmmmmm.
What do you think?


But first

A government social worker was visiting the Indian reservation for the first time.
Over by the store, a woman was yelling up a blue streak at an old Indian man. The man looked like he could use some help. The social worker walked over and broke up the disturbance by pulling the man aside.

“Hey, that lady sure has your number.”
“She no lady. She my wife.”
“You don’t say. What’s her name?”
“Wife name ‘Three Horse’.”
The social worker smiled. “Now that’s a strange name. Three Horse. Yep, that sure is a strange name. How did she get a name like that?”

“Nag nag nag.”

BILL ZYDECOCRUISER – Welcome back and after all you have done for me the gifts were the least I could do. I still listen to all the CD’s you sent me and have grown to really enjoy Zydeco music. Have fun with Mom and of course on the Carnival Conquest. I am posting one more recipe from Mum, I think you will like this one. Cheers mate.
MATT AND VIKKI TILL – What a great question. What are some of the strangest things people have tried to smuggle onboard? I thought long and hard about this one and I could only think of one, however, Duncan our Hotel Director added one brilliant one to the list…………….remember these were all discovered by the state room stewards so they actually managed to get them onboard.
A Whole Pigs Head…………..this had been given to a guest by relatives in San Juan to take back to Miami for cooking.
The only one I could think of is the common one of people trying to avoid having liquor taken at the gangway. The usual way is to empty a water bottle and fill it up ashore with vodka, gin, rum etc……… know about this one now.
So, if you want to get your cat onboard we may have to get clever ……….maybe you could say it’s a new crewmember who works for the …………………. Housekeeping Department. ……………..sorry about that one. Cheers.
IVANA – Have fun in Prague and I hope you show us all some photos when you get back.
GREG BALDASARRI – Hello mate. Thanks for the great compliments about the John Cleese interview. It really was a magical experience and one I am glad I got to share with everyone. There will be more sunset photos soon I promise so stand by for that. Thanks for the best wishes and also for mentioning Roberto. LET’S GO HEAT………….cheers mate.
DAN – Hello Dan and thanks first of all for saying how much you enjoy the blog thingy. It is always great to welcome new people and its funny that you choose my close encounter with Fatima as your favorite so far…………..that’s my friend Alan’s fault. So, thanks also fro the link of yet another politician having fun with binoculars………….seems someone has been having fun with that Photoshop thingy again. Thanks again mate and I hope yours is a name I will see regularly on the blog thingy.

Now we move to the comments about the blog called Wild Willy……………….but first.

BIG ED – I certainly are looking forward to spending some quality time with all my blogger friends on the January 19 cruise. Todd has been gracious to allow me some time on stage, but he will take care of the day-to-day running of the ship. I don’t think I will be getting drunk as I haven’t been drinking for 11 years, I do however, enjoy watching others get happy. Anyway, there will be a coffee and a Drambuie waiting as requested, see you very soon. Don’t forget the dress.
THE BEARS – CARL AND BARB – I am glad you enjoyed today’s photos and I have passed on your thanks to Alarnya for taking them. I am sorry to hear that your first day back to work did not go so well. Please take it easy, rest your legs as you have been through a lot recently. Listen to Doctor John now. Tell Carl, he is hired as a Spice Girl, he will be……………..Bear Spice. Heidi sends her best to you as do I.
SOUTHERN DREAMS – It’s Friday today and I am hoping to hear the latest on your condition as you have been constantly in our thoughts. Let’s chat when you are on board and we will find the perfect tours for you. Please let us know how you are as we are thinking of you.
LFTTNSFCF – I am looking forward to receiving your wife’s complaint about there being too many places you can smoke. So yes, all is balanced again. In all seriousness, I really think, the only place where we may be having a concern is walking through the cigar bar to get to the Internet café. This is something that maybe was not planned correctly and we must do better.
However, with the Promenade and with exception of two public lounges, everything is non-smoking and I really do not think there is cause for anyone to complain…………who am I kidding? There will be plenty of sambas for you and even John and Diane are learning one. See you soon mate.
NICO R. – I am sorry Carnival did not reply to your request for employment. Please send me, via Roberto, your resume ASAP. I am sure your Carnival Pride cruise will be as enjoyable as the one on the Carnival Liberty and if you would like to highlight any staff member, please tell me who it is and I will be happy to forward it directly to the Vice President of that department. Thanks again for your posting and all the best.
CRUISING EAGLE – How wonderful that you have been reading my blog from the beginning. Regarding the Carnival Fantasy and the guest pins, you are correct, that on a 5-day cruise, they do indeed have a past guest party. Pins are issued to all returning guests but unfortunately, this was not the case on the past itinerary of the Carnival Fantasy during her 3- and 4-day cruising. I will see therefore, if I can get you a Carnival Fantasy pin as I will for the other blogger and watch this space for further information. I think it is so fantastic that your son and his new bride will be starting their married life on the Carnival Elation and I want to thank you for everything you said about the blog.
J TODDINMAN – No need to apologize, as this poem has gone straight to number one in the charts and I have just sent it to Alan, who no doubt will be overjoyed. You are very talented and if I may be so bold and when you have time, could I commission you to write a poem about Heidi and I? I remain your faithful number one fan.
M@&RT – It was no problem answering your questions, that is what I am here for. Just want to say with regards to Fatima, there was no escape and I was more worried what she would do with her pipe, if I tried to make a run for it. I am glad you are enjoying all the latest blogs and I am sure I will be able to get you in to see the galley as requested. Thanks for all your kind words, they really make my day and the Fish & Chips are on me.
BILL ZYDECO CRUISER – Consider it done mate.
TERESA C – I am so happy you are enjoying your photos and that it is bringing so many memories back to you. I am so excited that you are seriously thinking of cruising on the Carnival Splendor, it will be a joy to welcome you home. Thanks again for everything and a very good night to you.
SUSAN B – Then soda it is. Remind me when you get here. Everything here is good and today is definitely a better day than yesterday. It is very funny that you should ask for an interview with one of the Carnival Dancers as I just completed one which will be posted sometime next week. I hope your daughter keeps dancing and I am sure one day you will be a proud mum sitting on the front row, watching your daughter perform as one of our dancers. PA 007, as Unknown Spice………….great idea. Actually, I think he/she is actually a Spice Girl fan in real life. Thanks again for the wonderful posting, it was brilliant.
ALEXANDRIA – What a fantastic song, I remember Sweet so well from my youth and of course the Little Willy song. Thanks for the memories. I have a big smile on my face. :)))
DWA76 – Tara will be leaving tomorrow and she promised to stay in touch with me as we all continue to think of her. Watch out for Wild Willy. Cheers mate, always great to see your name on the postings.
RUSS AND NINA FRANKLIN – Dubrovnik holds so many memories for those people who have been fortunate to visit this enchanting town. I see that you are definitely one of those people. We thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I don’t know this restaurant you mentioned in Rome but the calamari sounds heavenly. Thank you both for once again taking the time to post your comments.
LOIS CARING ABOUT OTHERSKI – I will look after Bonnie and deliver the hug as requested. And I have one for you here as well.

That’s all I have time for tonight and there will be more tomorrow.

I have a very special interview that goes with today’s blog. It will be posted separately in a few minutes and I truly hope you enjoy it.

I know I had a bad yesterday but it could have been worse. This was sent to me by my mate Alan and is taken from the Daily Mail Newspaper from last week………

This article was taken from the Daily Mail, August 20, 2007.


A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him, and the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the ambulance. Because they lived on fairly large hill, the wife went down the several flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the wife up righted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the back of his legs, and his groin. The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance. The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs and broke his arm.

This has been a happy blog and I intend to keep it happy until the end by telling you that tonight I had a wonderful conversation with Tara………….here is how it went.

TARA……………thank you John for everything I have had a wonderful time

John………….No need to thank me just get well and remember we are all thinking about you.

TARA………..I will e-mail you as soon as I am home and I am curious to read the blog.

John…………Thousands of people are thinking about you

TARA (crying)…………I know and this makes me so happy

John……….Well don’t cry anymore and when you do put on the DVDs I gave you of the cruise

TARA……….I will ………..still crying. I wanted to let you know about today in Pisa.

John……….What happened

Tara………..Dozens of Passengers were coming up to me and taking photos. Then a Japanese couple who were obviously with a tour group but not from the Freedom came up and asked if they could have a photo and asked me if I was famous…… I said YES and they took photos.

Now, if anything makes me happy it was that conversation there…………………………….god bless her.

Goodnight and Be Happy

Your friends

John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.