A Brush With The Law

October 9, 2007 -

John Heald

Good Morning everyone from Venice…………..a sunny Venice ………….. yippeeeeeee.

The day started at 7 am when Heidi awoke to send the tours on their way. I had not been in the doghouse for a few days but that was about to change when she discovered that I had used the last bit of toothpaste and had not opened another tube which in Heidi’s book is one below mass murder on the doghouse scale………….so my day started doing time with the Spaniels and Poodles.

Then, at 9:30 am a water taxi came to the Carnival Freedom and took Heidi and I and Duncan the Hotel Director back to see how the Queen Victoria was shaping up as she nears her delivery date. This was an amazing experience yet again and I will be writing my review of that trip in the next 48 hours ……………..it will be worth the wait I promise.

It was during the tour of The Cunard masterpiece that my cell phone rang. It was Alison, Alan’s wife. The doctors had examined Alan and decided that they could not wait any longer and that they were going to admit him that day and tomorrow morning perform a 7-hour surgical procedure. This really but a damper on my day and I admit that it was hard to take everything in that my guides were explaining to me about the incomparable ship I was visiting ……………..I must admit my mind and my heart were with Alan. However, I carried on regardless and the British Stiff Upper Lip really came in very useful. I purposely did not tell Heidi until we left as I knew she would be upset and would not be able to hide her emotions. One good thing………….when I did tell her about Alan I was immediately freed from the doghouse. …………………. thanks Alan.

Anyway, this will be the first of two major operations he will undergo. The second one I will be home for and by the time you read this, Alan should be out of surgery and in recovery. Your continuing thoughts for a chap who is one of the kindest most sincere family orientated and ugly man you will ever meet are so appreciated…………………thank you all so much

Here are today’s photos and as you can see they have a theme ……………….sister’s…………..here they are.











Here are today’s letters from the In Their Own Words Section. Have a look at the letters about the two sisters. Each had written into the morning show saying how special their sisterly love was to each other following the loss of their husbands. They were very special letters and I enjoyed interviewing them both on the Morning Show.

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

In Their Own Words

Here is the Joke of the Day

A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast.”Ok, today, is one of those days where I ask your kind permission to answer only the comments with questions attached. I have read every single comment and I am continuously grateful for everything that you have all taken the time to write. However, I once again have 100-plus comments to answer and I just don’t have the time today. I again will make sure on the next blog I catch up and answer every single one.

Anyway, here we go with some Q and A. To skip the Q&A, click here.

FREDDY BEACH – Hello Freddy. I am sure you are very excited to come and cruise on October 16. I have forwarded the request you made to our Maitre D Dino who will do his best to accommodate you. I am sure you will love your table and of course the service and I will be making sure you have great entertainment and fun. Please drop me a note when you board so I can call and say hello. All the best and see you soon.
TERRY DUNNING – It looks like your wish will come true Terry as I will be joining you on the Carnival Splendor so we can celebrate Dotty and Bob’s 50th anniversary together. I am really glad that you have discovered the blog thingy and I hope it will keep you going until the next time you cruise. Best regards from us both and please keep reading the blog.
LINDA THE MOUSE – I actually thought of you as I was writing about Mickey and his kingdom and hoped that you would not be offended at what I had to say. In answer to your question, yes, I did visit Epcot and I was astounded by what I saw and the British Pub was very authentic, especially the Yorkshire Pudding. Heidi really likes the German place and overall we had a fantastic time. Please pass our regards to your friend. Hope you enjoyed your dinner. All the best and see you soon.
JOKO JOAN – Thank you for your prayers for Alan. We all appreciate your thoughts very much. Thank you for the very funny story about Venice and I imagine 7 days in the same clothes was not pleasant and fancy having your mum there. Sorry your first posting got lost so I wanted to make sure that this one got a well-deserved reply. Our best to you.
BILL ZYDECOCRUISER – Thanks for the cartoons mate, how kind of you. I am not sure I understand your question about the Carnival Pride. What information would you require? I understand about the black pudding. Have you ever had Haggis?
BRIAN SWANSON – Brian, I am actually happy to tell you that I am changing the time of our TA bloggers party. The reason I am doing this is so that people can still attend the Travel Talk which Todd will perform at 4:30pm. I need to be there to help him. Therefore, we will have the party in between the dinner seating’s at 7:30pm – 8:30pm and I have added your cabin to our invitation list. Hope this is ok with everyone.
CHRISTIE 100 – Chris Prideaux did mention to me yesterday that he had received your package for Heidi. She will be very excited to receive her Starbucks mug from Hawaii and the other goodies you mentioned. Thank you so very much, you are so kind.
SHERYL PELTON – Heidi says a big thank you and she is so grateful for everything you have done for her. Hope you are enjoying the blog today and we miss you.
BILL ZYDECOCRUISER – Carnival Splendor is now on sale Bill. Are you coming?
BIG ED – You are right, three quarters of a million slaps, that really does sound fantastic. How many postings have you made? Any idea? See you in 100 days, the thong is waiting……
JO MYERLY – Yes, I was a little ahead of myself but the Carnival Splendor July 2 sailing should now be ready for purchase. I wish I could show all of you my hometown and Amsterdam. Hope you and Dave are well.
DIVETRASH – I have had many adventures in the bathroom and it seems you have as well. You and I have a lot in common. The “Little Ambassador” has sent postcards to the school from Venice and Naples so far with more adventures to come. Thank you for sharing your adventures with us and as always, it is great hearing from you. The only thing Big Ed will be wriggling his way out of will be the thong itself. Tickets are on sale for $1 for the back row, the front row is FREE.
LV2CRUISE – You soon be on the Carnival Miracle. You asked what my favorite things are to do in your ports of call. Let me give you my one or two “must not misses.”
1. St. Lucia – You must not miss seeing the Pitons. These beautiful landmasses rising out of the Caribbean water and surrounded by gorgeous beaches are visited on many of our tours.
2. St. Maarten – St. Maarten is divided into 2 sides. The ship will dock on the Dutch side where the people are warm and friendly. The other side of the island is French, where the people are ……………..well, ……………French. Seriously, downtown St. Maarten has fantastic shopping and great bars and restaurants, the nicest beaches are on the French side and Orient Beach is my favorite. Unfortunately, I have never been to St. Kitts. However, I will ask the Cruise Director on the Carnival Miracle what he recommends and will post this reply ASAP. Thank you as always for your kind comments and I hope you will have a fantastic cruise.
KEVIN – What a wonderful story and it is prove positive of the power, beauty and soul of Aston Martin. What an idiot that guy must have felt, congratulations. I have forwarded your cabin number to my friend on the Carnival Miracle. I would really love some photos of the new car. Maybe you can bring it to the port and we could drape Big Ed in his thong over the bonnet and send a picture to Top Gear magazine. What do you think mate? Heidi sends her best.
BIG ED – The word you are looking for is comical robbery and Cruise Directors are masters at this.
KATHIE – Putting your wet phone in a bowl of rice sounds, well ………….. crazy. However, I will give it a go. I also use the rice thing to dry out my socks, which got wet from the bathroom floor, will this work? How wonderful that you are coming on the bloggers cruise. That has made my day and Heidi and I will be there to say Welcome Home.
LINDA HERNACKI – Just a quick note to say how thoughtful of you to think of Alan when putting your package together for us. We will see you very soon and we will be together on a cruise. Of that I am sure. Heidi and I already consider you great friends and your prayers for my best friend Alan are so welcome. As always, our best to you and Mike.
OCEAN ANGEL – I have not forgotten your request for the Fantasy pin and I will follow up on this today. I am so sorry but the walk on deck is not held on the shorter cruises but only on those of seven or more. If you have time, please send my warmest regards to the Captain and Crew and thank you so very much for being a faithful supporter of the blog thingy.
MYRA BUSHNELL – What wonderful memories you have of your Costa cruise. You are correct, the Enrico C has been sold, however, I am not sure where she is now. I love the comment about the boat drill taking place in the middle of a storm and that it was too rough to actually go to the life boats ……………is that not an oxymoron? The magician you spoke of is now a professional pickpocket, working the streets of Venice. You asked if you can climb the Leaning Tower Of Pisa? The answer is yes and providing Big Ed and myself do it at the same time we are all ok. Thank you for your thoughts for Alan and for the kind words about the blog. Maybe one day I get my Aston. Life is a dream…..
BIG ED – You know me too well. In the photo you sent me, I saw a big truck. Was that yours? Are you a trucker?
ADRIAN J COHEN – Welcome home and hearing you describe your cruise on the Carnival Freedom as “heaven” was wonderful to hear. I am glad you bought the DVD of the Welcome Aboard Show and I hope the laughter is everlasting. It was funny that you mentioned the market in Livorno as someone else spoke to me about that yesterday. I have never been but will check it out this cruise and it may be nice to recommend this to other guests. Give my kind regards to Manchester and all the best to you and the family.
DGH FROM OHIO – How kind you are. My dad is going to have to build another cupboard to Heidi can store all her Starbucks mugs. She will be thrilled to know she is receiving one from your lovely city. Thank you for being so kind and our best regards to you.
NANETTEALI – Dos Puerto Ricans = Mucho Fiesta and mucho huggos. How is the family Nani? We all miss you here.
HARRY AND PHILIPPA REED – First, the bad news. My Shrimpers lost to Tranmere after winning 4 games in a row. You must be very happy though that Wrexham won. When are we playing each other? You are right, as Greavsie said “It’s a funny old game.” We will send the invitation to your cabin at the new time of 7:30 pm and look forward to meeting you very much. See you both soon.
SUE GROHOLL – See you in 18 days. Did you send me your cabin number? Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

OK, that’s all I have time for today.

Can I say a HUGE thank you to all of you who took the time to welcome Ruben Rodriguez to the family. His interview has also been passed to all the staff and crew on the ships as well as the office personnel. I am sure you are going to hear much more about this young man in the future as he helps keep Carnival Cruise Lines at the pinnacle of the cruise industry.

For now though, let’s chat about last night. I got in trouble with the Venetian Police and was threatened with arrest. Now, all of you are thinking “what the heck was he threatened with arrest for, what did he do?”……..well, I will tell you……….my television was on too loud. OK, not the T.V. in my cabin but the one on Lido deck at the Seaside Theatre.

At 9 pm last night I got a call from the gangway that a police officer wanted to speak to the person in charge of the big screen……….I guess the security officer decided that was me and made the call. Down I cam to the gangway and was told by Officer Moretti that unless the volume was turned down immediately I would be arrested……………….Bugger !

I asked who had made a complaint as there are no houses or dwellings anywhere around where the ship docks. His answer was to wave his hand up and down as though he was holding a boiled pea between his thump and 1st finger and said “I tell you the questions you do not tell me the questions” …………..and that was me in the Cane Casa (doghouse in Italian).

So, up I went to Lido to check out the sound. The James Bond movie Casino Royale had just started and it was playing at the normal level and honestly it was not really loud………just ………..well……….normal. Anyway, not wanting to share a cell with Guido and his mates I decided to turn it down so I called the Audio Visual manager (who is in charge of the big screen and if I was going down so was he) and I asked him to turn the volume down 25%. I was not sure if that was enough but for now it would have to do. I then decided to look across at the Emerald Princess to see if I could hear their movie but I could not……….maybe James the Cruise Director had already been arrested and was making sure he did not drop anything.

I never heard back from Officer Moretti and I am still confused as to who complained ashore that it was too loud………..very strange. I am not casting aspirations but we were docked opposite another cruise ship from another line – and I cannot say which one but I wonder if someone from there had complained at the volume as they sat by the fake and ugly climbing wall on the something of the seas…………but I can’t mention the cruise line. No…………surely not ………..they wouldn’t have done that…………..would they?

Just in case I just called the police and complained that one of their guests was standing on their balcony …………………………………….wearing a loud and obnoxious shirt.


Your friends

John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.