Mucho Agua

January 21, 2008 -

John Heald

My heart sank this morning when I looked out of the window as we arrived in Cozumel and not because I could see my naked reflection in the glass………….it was dull, windy and the sun had buggered of to Australia………………..a continuation of yesterday.

It’s now 9:45am and I just went down to the pier to speak to the Shore Excursion team to check what tours are canceled and unfortunately its most of them……..especially the water based tours.

The sea is still a bit angry and the last thing we want to do is put guests in a dangerous position so therefore we canceled 50% of the tours……………a real shame…………..but safety first of course.

So, I started to make my way back to the office to make an announcement and as I did a guest stopped me and he was not a happy bunny. I knew this before he even said a word, I could just tell and this was confirmed as his finger extended and he began to conduct Beethoven’s fifth symphony inches from my face.

Basically, he was angry and the weather and therefore angry at me. He had been feeling ill yesterday and now there was no sun and it was to cold to go outside………………what was I going to do about it.

During his rant, his voice got louder and louder so much so that a small group of interested guests had gathered in the lobby on deck 0. Anyway, his last statement was that this was the worst weather he had experienced on any vacation and he would now have to spend the day onboard.

Before I had chance to speak I looked down to my right to find an older lady standing next to me…………….oh great I thought, I have the mad conductor and now Judge Judy is about to attack me…………..and oh boy did she attack …………. not me…………him.

She let him know that he was wrong to blame me and that it was God’s choice the weather was as it was. Now, as nice as she was to do this I knew that the mad conductor would probably turn his index finger toward her. Therefore, I thanked the lady for her help and grabbing the man by the arm I gently suggested we continue this conversation elsewhere……………..he declined, I took his cabin number and he left.

Now, lets recap……………..he said and I quote “this is the worst weather he has experienced on vacation and its too cold to go outside”……………….I checked with the bridge……………it was 74 degrees………….it was very windy………….no rain……….but 74 degrees………..too bad to go outside…………sometimes I am lost for words.
Anyway, I will monitor the day and if there is no improvement I will add more indoors activities this afternoon……………if as Judge Judy said that God has chosen this weather and if God reads this blog please can I ask for a drop of sun, just a smidgen……….just enough to allow the mad conductor a chance to go outside.

After that confrontation and before a morning at the computer I decided that it was time for a cup of coffee. So of to the café I went and during the journey I met many happy and cheerful folks who despite the fact that Mother Nature had woken in a bad mood were determined to have a great time……………..I started feeling good again, obviously it was just the mad conductor who blamed me for all the world’s faults…………………..and then I met Papa Smurf.

I am calling him this because he was…………ummmmmmmmmm……………..on the small side and had a long white beard and as I approached the Café I greeted him with a good morning. He answered with a crisp “morning” and I should have left it at that but me being me I followed up with “Are you going ashore today?”………………..a fairly innocent question you might say ………….. Oh no it wasn’t.

Papa Smurf rounded on me and gave me a look as if I had just asked him to wear my underwear as a hat!……………and that was me……………for the next ten minutes………………listening to Papa Smurf tell me the end of the world was just around the corner.

I can’t be bothered to type word for word what was said but let’s just say he used the word recession a hundred times.

Apparently, it’s got something to do with the Chinese, who have affected America’s sub-prime, something or other. Papa Smurf  says inflation will spin out of control, millions will find themselves living in caves and eating rat stew……………or something like that. Anyway, Papa Smurf has decided that he is not giving any of his money to “foreigners ” thus he stays onboard.

I got my coffee and just for a moment ……………………………………….I considered adding a very large scotch to it.

So, I returned to the cabin to sit down and type a few more lines for the blog and the gloom of mood and despair that the Mad Conductor and Papa Smurf was only heightened when I found Heidi watching a show on television.

This lady called Tyra  was interviewing some people who apparently had discovered that although they had been married for a number of years they were actually……………… related………. and they were brother and sister or something like that…………………people were crying and the audience were gasping and I decided…………….. it was time to get off the ship…………now.

Therefore I am off to meet the family of Bloggers who missed the ship in Miami and have just arrived. I will then try and go ashore for an hour…………… if I can survive the artic temperatures!………………………back soon.

In fact, I am back sooner than you think…………..Heidi and I were off the ship for the grand total of 8 minutes. We walked off the gangway, walked past the Carnival Liberty docked next to us , rounded the corner and then obviously Mother Nature spotted me and let loose a torrent of heavy rain…………….and that was me entering the wet T-shirt contest.

So, we trudged (is that a word?) back to the ship along with hundreds of despondent looking passengers and here I am again at the key board. I have just arranged extra activities for those guests who prefer not to have gallons of water dumped on them…….and its Mexican water so it may have other effects as well.

At 2:30pm Heidi will host a trivia contest followed by something called Win, Lose Or Draw……… a bit like pictionary ………just for the bloggers. Adele from the Entertainment Staff will host a general knowledge trivia game and Sea Feud for all the other guests to play. We then have a big screen movie indoors ………….in the main theatre………….something called Evan Almighty………..it seemed appropriate to show a comedy movie about a man building an Ark because of heavy rain………….anyway Steve Carell should brighten things up a bit.

If the rains continue then we will add more things to do………………..I am off to walk around a bit and chat with the folks…………back soon…………………oh, just before I go I want to say a big thank you to the guys at Cruise Critic who are featuring the blog on their amazing site…………..check out http://www.cruisecritic.com/news/news.cfm?ID=2366
Here I am, the movie has about 200 people watching it, Heidi has 50 or so having fun with her and the other games are also well attended. The Classical Trio is playing in the lobby and as the rains pour down and although there is a sense of disappointment in the air everyone I spoke to is happy, they are not worried about falling markets recession and the Chinese eating away at our subway prime thingies.

So everyone seems in good spirits………….except Papa Smurf who is probably in his cabin counting his money and the Mad Conductor is as we speak sitting in the sauna wishing he could put certain parts of my body on the hot coals.

Here are some photos for you.

1. Heidi standing between the Carnival Freedom and Carnival Liberty

1. Heidi standing between the Carnival Freedom and Carnival Liberty

2. Heidi before the rains came

2. Heidi before the rains came

3. Heidi after the rains came

3. Heidi after the rains came

4. The pier that was destroyed by the hurricane being rebuilt.

4. The pier that was destroyed by the hurricane being rebuilt.

4. The pier that was destroyed by the hurricane being rebuilt.

Good Afternoon
Your friends

John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.