Spring Break – Chapter Two

March 12, 2008 -

John Heald

I met Allen and Melisa Young on Sunday night when I popped into the Posh Dining Room to see my friends Robert and Suzanne Schneider who by the way are on their 42nd Carnival cruise…………….37 of which have been with me…………more about them on a later blog.

They were seated close to the entrance and as always I said “hello,” etc. to the guests I passed by. I did the same when I passed by their table and Allen and his wife told me how much they had enjoyed the Welcome Aboard Show and laughed so much………..this was great to hear of course. Yesterday I received a note asking if I could give them a call………….I did so……..this morning ………….and I thought I would share our conversation with you.


Before that, let me set today’s scene…….it’s now 11:23 am and we are in St. Thomas. The weather is beautiful and the outside temperature is 86 degrees. Once again I will not be getting off the ship as two’s company but three’s a crowd and as Mr. Bell has yet to bugger off back to where he came from …………… which is probably France……………….I shall keep myself on board.

Heidi has gone to get some “things” ashore…………the word “things” usually means “clothes” and that spells trouble for me and Mr. Visa.

The Carnival Triumph is here along with the ship that when I called her the “Botox of the Seas” two weeks ago got me into more trouble than Lindsey Lohan with a key to the pharmacy cupboard (allegedly.) So, I will not call it the Botox of the Seas and simply say that in between us and the Carnival Triumph is the ship that looks like me in a size 6 dress………there are things sticking out in all the wrong places.

OK, back to the Young family. I called them this morning at 10 am thinking that something was wrong as the note seemed……..well……….a bit ………… harsh………..no, scratch that………..straight to the point………..it just said “call me please.” When I did I thought they would be off the ship but indeed Melissa answered and asked if I could spare them a few minutes.

I met them in the Lobby and on my way there I thought what might be ahead ……….you automatically think……….”complaint”……..that’s natural…………as some of the time it is the case of course………………not this morning.

Let’s go back to the brief time I had seen Melisa and Allen …………I had said a quick hello, chatted about the show and not noted anything about them except that they were in their early thirties or so…………….nothing else came to mind.

This though was not the case when I met them in the lobby. Melissa looked radiant in a white flowing skirt and if I said thirty-something before, I now realized she was probably in her early twenties……………Allen………well he was dressed in pair of shorts and a plain old T Shirt and……oh yes……………….he was on crutches………………and his right leg was missing.

We sat and ordered some coffee and Allen said he wanted to talk to me about his problem and I sat there ready to listen about how he may be finding it difficult to get around the ship considering his disability……………………but once again……….I was wrong…………..he wanted to tell me that he had just gotten over……………………Bells Palsy……………and he could help me.

I sat there………….gobsmacked………..absolutely …………….gobsmacked ……………….here was a young man………with problems that were obvious and he wanted to tell me that for a two-month period last year, he had met Mr. Bell and now here he was……………sitting drinking coffee……………..showing me facial exercises that he said made all the difference…………..I felt such different emotions……………happiness that he wanted to help ……………and I felt ……………guilt because here was a guy with …….well……….one leg ………….. wanting to take his vacation time to help me.

We sat there and after talking about Mr. Bell and our mutual hatred of him, I asked him about how he was managing around the ship. He was full of praise for the staff and said he was doing just fine. We then talked about he and Melissa………….just before I carry on I have of course mentioned the blog to them both and they are very excited to have their story told and I know we will be hearing from them when they get back………………anyway.

Melissa was just 14 when she met Allen who was a bit older at ……… ummm …..20. They met at a McDonald’s of all places in their hometown of Gainesville, Georgia and Melissa pretended she was 17……………….they chatted all night………….she stole his car keys…………..locked herself in his car with him outside and refused to come out until he professed he would marry her one day…………….they did marry………….5 years later.

Allen and Melisa spent their honeymoon on the Holiday which is where they discovered their love of cruising and this is their fifth cruise with us now.

Allen told me that in January 2007 he and Melissa were riding their bikes as they always did at the weekends when a car struck Allen leaving him with critical injuries and the loss of his right leg……………the driver never stopped…………..and has never been caught.

I wish though that I was blessed with the words to describe what a magnetic and sunny disposition these two young people have and how infectious it was and how blessed I was that he had wanted to help …………..me.

I will make sure that before the cruise is over I take a photo of these two and slap it on for you all two see…………their smiles will warm the cockles of your heart.

So, armed with a new series of facial exercises which I will begin this afternoon let’s get on with some photos and insert some random one’s for you.

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Deck party

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Management keeping an eye on things.

Here is today’s letter in their own words.

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I just wanted to mention Lance and his fantastic “Climb This” T-shirt design. I am going to ask him to see if he wants to have them made and purchased directly through him as there are too many copyright laws involved on my end. However, as Lance did design this wonderful fashion item, we should allow him to decide what to do with it.

Ok, now I see I have a total of 90-something comments from the last two blogs so lets get into answering as many as I can.

HERE WE GO.

SUSAN V……………………I am glad you appreciated the Piano entertainment schedule being posted. VA stands for Carnival Valor….sorry, should have written the names in full. Obviously, things change all the time and people come and go but I will keep you all updated. I am having my first acupuncture treatment in the next 48 hours. I have finished the Prednisone and now it is time to wait and see. Thank you for your thoughts, they mean so very much.

NANNI…………………………….We missed seeing you yesterday but we are thinking of you always. Muchos huggos.

SOUTHERN DREAMS…………Thank you so much for being such great friends and for your constant kind words of support.

CINDY 56………………………..Most of the kids or March Breakers, as you call them in Canada, are just great. They enjoy live and are harmless to others around them. There are one of two whose parents will require serious medication when they discover the amounts of money spent on their credit cards. The only truly happy people are Mr. Budweiser and Mr. Heineken. Thanks for the great posting and hope to hear from you soon.

JIMMIE KENNEDY…….Mr. Bell is still with me. Have a wonderful spring break cruise on the Carnival Liberty and please drop us a line when you get home. Have fun!

TRACEY…………………………Welcome back from your Carnival Freedom cruise. I want to say a big Thank You for saying how much you enjoyed me as a Cruise Director and especially considering my current affair with Mr. Bell. In answer to your questions, we still have so far to go to find a suitable settlement to the reserving of deck chairs on Lido deck. You are in fact allowed to take someone’s belongings off if for a 30-minute period they do not return. This is also printed in the Carnival Capers. We have to do a better job ourselves. I was sorry to read that you had such a traumatic last day due to the behavior of a group of teenagers. Our Security Guards do the very best they can but where are the parents? How can 14-year-old kids be allowed to use such racial slurs at people just doing their job? I have passed your comments to our Chief Security Officer and some people in the office and I assure you that we will, as a company, continue to do our best to provide the best environment possible on the Lido deck. For years, it was ok to give your kid a slap on the back of the leg when they misbehaved. Maybe those times should come back?…….….just a thought. Most importantly, I am glad you had a wonderful cruise and it was an honor to be part of it.

JOHN M………………………..Thanks for the kind words John and welcome back to Chicago. I am so glad to read that you had a great time and thank you so much for your words and get-well wishes. My best to Toni and hope to see you both again soon.

NICK…………………………..Congratulations on successfully slapping on your first posting. I am glad you had a great time on board, although I see your journey home was quite the adventure. I found it difficult last week with Mr. Bell as company but seeing that you still enjoyed the shows and events that I hosted means the world. Thank you mate and I hope to see you and Lori again very soon.

P.LETTORALE………………..I am just stunned about your RCI Cruise Director. I can see that singing like a baby may be funny as a 5 seconds skit but to keep going for minutes, mmmmm….. Anyway, I am sure he will realize the bit didn’t work and hopefully he will improve. Finding the right piece on stage is very difficult and takes time and practice and I wish him much success…….it’s not easy. Thanks for letting me know and I hope to cruise with you soon. All the best until then.

BIG ED…………………………I have a feeling some of the spring breakers I have met would have problems reading Bob The Builder books, let alone War & Peace. Wish you were here mate.

MARGIE TRACY…………….Thank you Margie. Have a wonderful drive to Florida and I hope in between the journey and your vacation you forget about your dental problems. We will see you on Saturday and please leave me a note to say you arrived safely at the information desk.

THEPARADISEISNOTSMOKEFREEANYMOREHOWEVERALLOURSHIPSAREMOSTLYSMOKEFREENOWEXCEPTFORJUSTAFEWLOUNGESBUTLOOKINGFORWARDTOTHEBLOGGERS2009CRUISE……Tell your lovely wife that if it gets her posting again, I will have solar engineers come to your house to warm up the computer room. We miss her wonderful outlook on life. Cheers John.

AUDREY……………………….Audrey, I thought your incredible cruise day at home was just superb and thank you for allowing me to post it. I have a feeling that many more people are going to have a go at this. I can see Big Ed holding a land-based summer cruise inviting his crew down for example. You may have started a new phenon…phunon……..bugger this…….started a new thing.

Really looking forward to meeting you soon, congratulations again.

LINDA MOM OF DJ………….I knew you would appreciate the piano bar schedule and next I think we should post the one of the Karaoke Hosts. I am glad your son Josh had a great time and I hope you and DJ are both well and of course dad. Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Best from Heidi and I.

LAMB KNUCKLES………Spring break is here and overall it’s going OK. Thanks for thinking of me and thank you for saying how much you enjoy reading the daily blog thingies. I hope this will continue for a long time to come.

DARLENE………………………Welcome to the blog thingy and yes, the next time your dog tiddles on the floor, it will be my fault. Thanks for the laughter and I hope you continue to read the every day stories of a humble Cruise Director and the good ship Carnival Freedom.

DIVETRASH…………………..If anybody was going to reply to the postings about the piano bar entertainers it would be you. I knew you would enjoy this and I also knew that your information would probably be as accurate, if not more so, than mine. There are a couple of changes already which I see you mentioned and please do keep talking about them on CruiseCritic as these great musicians deserve all the mention they can get. You said Piano Bars are your favorite places on the ship………..no???!!!!! It’s great to hear from you Laura and I hope to see you again soon. P.S. I will find out who the new entertainer will be on the Carnival Pride.

ROBIN IN NEW YORK………Wearing an eye patch is indeed no fun. I actually find that it gives me a headache as well. Still, hopefully Mr. Bell will get bored, move back to Paris and leave me alone. Thanks for your kind compassion and hope all is well with you.

JIMNI……………………..Ann, I promise I will. Thanks for being so concerned.

FLIP FLOP CRUISE QUEEN…..I am not sure if I could ever get used to wearing pants that low unless Fruit of the Loom were prepared to pay me the advertising fee. Anyway, it provides with so much material and hopefully you with some good laughs as well. Thank you Sheryl and thank you for your support of the blog.

THERESA…………………………You asked who the Cruise Director will be on the Carnival Glory and it is at this time Ryan Fitzgerald who I understand will be there for the next few months. Are you cruising on there? Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Cheers.

JERI GREEN…………………….As many as we have on board, I know that places like Ft. Meyers and Daytona and Cancun have many, many more. It is a shame that one of two can spoil it for the others but oh well, isn’t life just like that? Cheers Jeri..

AMY AND ST. JEFF BURNEY…Thanks for the update on Jeff and I am sure you know how proud we are of him and also of you for looking after things while he is away. I hope that you get to spend the next few years in peace and quiet together and not being thousands and miles apart. I can imagine your job is also very stressful and I hope the blog thingy gives you a little laughter during the day. Heidi and I send our best to you both.

VICKI……………………..I just did and they send their very best to you. March 22 we expect 200 spring breakers however, as it is close to Easter there will be close to 1,000 children under the age of 18. It will be a great cruise with a great mixture of people. Cheers Vicki.

GREG B………………………….Glad you liked the photos and yes, Mr. Pee did carry the bucket around with him all night. You and I have the same problems understanding the fashion of today. However, I think we should try it for ourselves, so tomorrow, let’s both go to work without our pants around our ankles. ROBERTO AND STEPHANIE appreciate the kind words as do Heidi and I. Cheers Mate.

SHIRLEY CALES………………I am not quite sure how to react to the image of you sitting in your living room watching me steal the show from the Olson twins in the 1995 movie. It’s quite disturbing actually. I was so young back then and it feels like a thousand years ago. However, thank you for spending your valuable money on this movie and personally, following my performance I should have seen an Oscar by my bedside. Watch out Hannah Montana…..you are next. Thanks and Heidi sends her kind regards back to you.

KATHY KROLL……………….They do tend to multiply mid cruise. Is Vegas popular with spring breakers? Hope all is well with you and Paul.

CRUISING SUE………………The parking lot in the Port of Miami has both an open and a covered area. I am not sure but I expect there is a special area for motor bikes. I will check for you. I can tell you that it is quite expensive. Let me get back to you soon and if any other bloggers has any information, please let Sue know. Cheers.

LINDA THE MOUSE………….I just wanted to say Thank You So Very Much for your beautiful Easter Gift and card. Receiving this, brightened our Saturday. You are our favorite mouse.

PEANUTS………………………I hope the snow has all melted and I was also glad that the principles you were given as a child were taught to your daughter. Judging by some of the things I have seen over the years, both here and at home in the U.K., that is not the case. Thanks for the kind words and for being such a great friend.

PETER AND SHANNAN…….Welcome back and how fun to read that your first cruise was won by your husband in a magazine competition. I am glad you enjoyed all the ports and the crew and I know your Pastor will also have a wonderful time here. Please stay in touch via the blog and hopefully it will feel like you are still on board. Cheers.

BIG MIKE……………………..Thanks for having my back, this is one week were I wish my Chief of Security was with me. They are not threatening really, it would just be a good excuse to have you here. Cheers mate.

MAYLA…………………………I was sorry to hear about your adventure with Mr. Bell. I was just wondering, do you still have a patch over your eye? Can you blink? Anyway, thank you so much for thinking of me and any help you think you can give me would be very much appreciated. Thank you Mayla, I send you and your family all the best.

BRYAN…………………………Losing Dwyane Wade for the Heat is like me losing Heidi……it’s like Abbott without Costello or even worse, a pale George Hamilton. Have fun this spring break and enjoy some of the best times of your life.

MARK TWAIN AND A HALF……Just wanted to say a quick hello to you and your other half. Hope all is well.

KEVIN…………………………..Heidi wanted me to say Thank You for sending her the HEMA link thingy. It is indeed brilliant. By the way, menu you cooked the other night sounded delicious. Wish I was there with you.

TOM AND LYNN PICKETT………I don’t quite think I am a celebrity, however, whatever this thing is that I have here…….I proudly welcome you to it. I am not sure about my 2009 schedule outside of a huge bloggers cruise which will take place in February on board the Carnival Fantasy. She will be newly rejuvenated, completely re-designed and we already have over 400 of the most caring and fun people joining us. What do you think? Anyway, regardless, I am here for you both and I truly hope we get to sail with each other soon. Until then, please keep reading the blog thingy.

CRAIG…………………………..I totally understand seeing the things you want to see in Marmaris, especially Dalyan. If you decide to do this, just let me know ahead of time and I will make sure that we take care of it from here. However, I do suggest that you make sure you purchase a tourist Turkish visa before you sail. It sounds to me like the toughest part of this plan will be persuading your fiancée. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity and if it is something you really want, then you should do it. Cheers.

DWA76………………………….I am glad I am still making you laugh after all this time. You have been here since the beginning and your support of the blog thingy means so much to me. May the laughter and friendship continue for a long time to come. Cheers.

MICHELLE……………………..I have added your names to the list and suggest just checking with your Legendary Journey rep to make sure they have done the same. We will be having two wine tastings on the trans-Atlantic crossing, which I know you will enjoy. All the best and see you very soon.

JIM AND MARY……………….And we wish you were here as well. Hope you are both having fun and it won’t be long before we see you here again. Best from us both.

BETH…….Congratulations on your first time post. I am so happy you have joined us and that you are enjoying the blog thingy as much as I do writing it. I hope the laughs continue and please let me know if you need anything at all.

I see that you are considering the Carnival Splendor this summer and if you are worried about being entertained, informed and being catered to every minute of the day………..don’t be…………you said you have ADD…….well, Carnival is the best medicine for that I promise. So, talk to dad and let me know if you have any questions. Hope to see you this summer. Cheers.

JANE………What wonderful memories for you and the family following your Panama cruise. I am sure the picture of that little girl will be one that stays in your mind for many years to come. Thanks for all the kind words and the beautiful posting. My best to you and the family.

JOHN H…………….Yep, the train ride is nice but your are correct to mention the air conditioning or the lack of it in Costa Rica. My Dad loves train and is President of the local “O Gauge” society……….he has a passion for American Locos especially the Big Boy and Challenger engines. He is often in his anorak building his models in his workshop. Sounds like you two would have a lot to talk about. Thanks for the information mate and hope all is well.

DAWN P……….Good idea………we have 800 kids next week and a few pirate stories may go down well. Thanks dawn and thanks for thinking of me. Cheers.

OK, my fingers are now pleading with me to stop……..in fact the right one has just packed a bag…….and transferred to the Carnival Triumph. I will answer more tomorrow I promise and as always a big thank you to you all for the comments.

I hope many of you blogger’s out there that are still deciding on whether or not to join us on the 2009 blogger’s cruise have found out about our special Funtennial offer.

-If you book before March 31st you’re entered to win one of 10 new digital cameras.

-Now in the second week of our anniversary celebration, we’re offering $300 in family savings.

-Find out more at www.carnival.com/funtennial

Hopefully everyone will be able to join us on next year’s bloggers cruise. With that said we’re hard at work planning the 2009 cruise. We should have some announcements soon. In the meantime, some of you have requested that we bring back some “old school” Carnival events. If you’d like to see one of these make a special appearance on the cruise, please submit your top choice. Stephanie will then tally up the top choices and set-up a poll for everyone to vote.

I want to make this cruise special……..more even than last time and I already have some brilliant ideas. However, I do want to do what you all want to do as well and remember…………..I will not be the full-time cruise director so we will have so many chances to have these events just for us.

Let me know what you want to do. Stephanie will post your ideas in a special area on the blog called Bloggers Events Ideas so that the other regular comments are separate and at the end of April I will sort through them all and we will decide which ideas and events we will do.

I know many of you can’t come and please don’t feel that you are not important to me and this blog if that is the case. I know how hard it is to plan a vacation and when we give you one specific week, one specific place that it needs to happen………well for many it is just not possible…………….I understand and although I wish I could see all of you there I know that is well……………just Fantasy 🙂

For those of you are who are considering booking…………………..just do it……………..do it now and come and spend the best 5-day cruise on a rejuvenated ship with incomparable fun and caring people.

Yesterday (Monday) evening was I admit……….a little difficult. We were in San Juan and while 3,400 guests went off to enjoy their first taste of dry land in 2 and half days 178 guests came onboard to experience their first taste of the ship…………and some………..were not happy.

We had arranged a special “hassle free” check in system for them. They were met at the airport, their luggage collected and then once onboard we had arranged a special check in area in the Victoriana Theatre. This included a quick debrief from me and a welcome party with drinks and food and, of course, we then escorted them to their cabins.

While it is fair to be said that most were understanding and realized that the weather was not Carnival’s doing….there were some who felt that as they had booked their airfare through Carnival that the ship should have waited for them in Miami. I explained that if this had been the case that 3,400 guests would not have made it to San Juan and possibly St.Thomas …………again………..most understood except one family who were swearing and screaming at poor Margarita our Chief Purser……….she………..like the professional she is kept her cool and tried to help as best she could.

I looked at the lady who was doing the screaming and then at her husband and four young children aged I would guess from 1 year to maybe 6 or 7 years old………..traveling with kids is not easy at the best of times but with delays ……….an overnight spent at an airport and then another flight to San Juan ……….you could sympathize with her somewhat……………..so I did…………..I walked over to help………….bugger…………..that was the wrong thing to do ………..and I guess the sight this huge Cyclops with the ugly and twisted face bearing down on her turned her into Sinbad and now she was going to protect her family from this monster from a foreign land.

Eventually it was her husband who calmed her down and they left for dinner. I will call them again tonight after we sail and see if there is anything I can do to make them happy. I will do whatever I can for them as we will for all the people who missed the ship………….although……….for the young unhappy mother I would humbly suggest that this week her and her husband sleep in separate beds………4 kids is enough I think.

So far on this week of blogging I have been singing the praises of our reasonably well behaved Spring Breakers. Last night in San Juan was going to be the big test………….first time ashore……………cheap liquor …………Senor Frogs ……………well………here are the results.

We had three miss the ship……….they eventually returned in the wee small hours of the morning under the impression that the ship stayed until Midnight………..tonight…………Tuesday……………..I wonder what they are studying at college………..reading may be a good idea.

Anyway, they now have to pay for a flight to St.Thomas to join the ship today.

We have also received a few comments……….about a dozen………..from other guests about the noise being made when walking…….or staggering………..back to their cabins. I can understand how frustrating this is for guests who are asleep and therefore I have decided to make an announcement as we sail today asking for “consideration for your fellow guests” however…….unless I end it with “and if you do we will give you a case of Budweiser as a thank you” I am under no illusion that they will listen…………….but I have to try.

Again, I should point out that it is the few ……….not the many…………who are cause for concern and mostly everything is being done I good taste.

However, last night I had my own first real close up example of how annoying one or two of these young people can be.

The show last night was performed by the brilliant Marcus Anthony who I wrote about the last time we were in San Juan. So, there he was on stage singing his heart out to 1,000 people and all was going well. Unfortunately the front row was taken up by Beavis and Butthead and the rest of the class of Tequila College. They had been singing and “woo hooing” the entire show and up until the finale had been OK.

Then however as Marcus began his Marvin Gaye medley, the fun began. Beavis decided that all the world was a stage and that he and he should be on it. He tried to walk up the steps to the stage but considering he had just drunk the equivalent weight of Rosanne Barr in tequila shots that was a big a challenge as it would be for me to make the front cover of GQ magazine.

Behind him, also trying to stagger up on stage was a very Drunk Barbie who looked upon the 4 stairs that led up to the stage as Mount Everest………… gave up…………….and sat ………….. on the floor. She was blonde……..and quite pretty……….however as she sat slumped on the floor that prettiness had been replaced by someone whose hair looked like they had just rented a moped ………her make up looked like she had just watched Sleepless In Seattle, Notting Hill and My Best Friend’s Wedding back to back as it had run all over her face and worst of all she looked like at any minute she may decorate the already colorful Victoriana Lounge with a further coat of orange…………pretty she may have been sober…………..drunk………..well I have seen prettier gangrenous sores.

Marcus carried on singing about hearing something on the grapevine and as he put his soul into the great man’s song, as he threw back his head and showed us all the voice he had been blessed with, as he moved his hips to the rhythm of this Motown anthem……..there beside him……..was a short rotund 20 year old……..swaying from side to side………..mouth wide open ……..the only thought in his mind was…………..he was God…………….he beloved that the people wanted to see him and that the people were applauding and cheering not for Marcus and his inspirational renditions of Marvin’s classical hits but for him…………………and inspired by their cheers and applause he now decided to turn around and wiggle his bottom…….which in his mind probably reduced the audience to a sexual frenzy when I could see from backstage that some were getting frustrated.

Marcus was now singing the last part of the medley which was a song called “Let’s Get It On “…………Marcus sang this with such passion and panache that the audience turned their entire attention back to him and for a moment Beavis was forgotten.

As Marcus finished the band carried on playing his ” leaving music ” which was the “Let’s Get It On ” reprieve…………the audience stood as one………….except Drunk Barbie whose bottom remained glued to the floor…………Marcus came back for another bow and the audience heightened their applause………….what a superstar he is.

Usually, at this point I will stay and have a three-minute bit with the audience but not wanting to share the stage with the a stud muffin like Beavis I signaled the band to carry on “vamping”……….playing quietly……….the Let’s Get It On Music……….as I told everyone about the deck party etc…………..as I did so………….Wild Thing next to me…………kept dancing.

I explained to the audience that Carnival had asked Beavis to come on stage to show the world how dangerous it is when Cousins marry each other…………..he was unperturbed as the audience howled with laughter………….I realized it was time to say goodnight………..provoking him further was pointless……………as I started to say goodnight though he decided to go for his big finale……….trying to grab my microphone he bent his beach ball sized head towards the microphone and in a voice that must have had Marvin Gaye asking God for a pair of ear plugs he sang……………” Lettssssssssss geetttttttttt it oooooooonnnnnn ”

I looked at him………………and I couldn’t hold back any longer……………I said “Mate……..I have a feeling if you ‘get it on tonight’…….you will be alone”

The audience stood and cheered for the second time

I pushed him in front of the curtain

We closed the curtain

The show was over

And as far as I know

Drunk Barbie is still there…………… sitting on the floor

Goodnight

Your friends

John and Heidi

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.