KFC….Kentucky Fried Chaos

March 15, 2008 -

John Heald

When I was at college sports meant two things……….football (soccer), which was played in a park with two coats for goal posts.

The second sport was to see how many girls Alan and I could get to ignore us or worse throw up on us………my mate Alan usually won this particular event…………..unfortunately, not by much.

I have therefore always been fascinated by American College sports. Maybe it’s the sheer size of the events, the huge stadiums and the wild and passionate support that the teams command. We have nothing like this in the U.K. Our biggest college event is the varsity boat race.

This involves a bunch of upper class men from Oxford and Cambridge University with names like Henry Henrison and Siegfried Smyth – Crapperton paddling a canoe up the River Thames. A crowd of polite students placing their strawberries and cream and glass of Pimms on their Louis Vitton table clothes before gently proclaiming words of encouragement such as “Tally Ho” & “Oh, spiffing, we won.”………..that’s University sports in the U.K.

So, as I said University sports in North America fascinate me and tonight I am sorry to say …………they now get on my bloody nerves.

Here is why.

During the Afternoon Show I received a live call from a phone on the Lido Deck and when I answered I very rude young man declared without a hello or good afternoon………….you had better get the Kentucky vs Georgia game today or there may be trouble.

I had no time to answer him because he put the phone down…………..”wow” I said……….how brave…………I am sure right now his friends are giving him a high five for doing such an amazing dare.

Anyway, I thought nothing more about it and moved the show along……………….then this happened.

Ref: 002721369A

Owner: (ELTS) Elitza Stimac

Large group Of Guests Shouting in the Lobby
About 30 guests approached the Desk, stating that he and at least another 200 people were waiting for the Kentucky Game supposedly on CBS, but found out recently that it would not be broadcasted. Guests were chanting and shouting, “We want the game” and swearing and screaming. After 10 minutes Purser received a call back from AV staff advising that the Kentucky Game was not able to be broadcasted. Purser tried to explain the situation to the crowd, but had to call Security to intervene, seeing that the answer was not to their satisfaction. The Cruise Director was called to which John came down to the lobby.

Security attended situation.

So, as requested by the gathering masses I went down to the lobby where I was immediately surrounded by a throng of mini skirt wearing Barbie’s and a various assortment of Ken’s, Beavis’s, Buttheads and one very strange young man who for some alcohol infused reason was wearing his life jacket.

The gang of 30 plus surrounded me and off they went……….some shouting………some swearing and some just trying to look cool. I stood there for at least two minutes and said nothing, letting the Get-A-Long gang have a good old vent. It was only when one lanky streak of a kid called me a very nasty name that I raised my hand and said “ok, that’s enough”……….and raised my hand in the air. Everyone stopped talking……….except Mr. Lanky Streak who I now noticed was so pale he was almost transparent. He was as thin as a stick insect and like the guy earlier in the week he too had been mugged by a Staple Gun………anyway…….Lanky Streak kept talking and kept swearing and I had decided enough was enough. I looked him in the eye……….I wanted to tell him to piss off and go and eat a bowl of pasta…………….but instead I calmly informed him to walk away or the reason I would not listen to all his friends would be him…………..he was going to argue but one very smart Barbie took him by his hand and pulled him away………hopefully in the direction of the dining room.

I had now been joined by two security officers and on each side of me I now had two burly chaps from India and that changed the atmosphere as well.

Now I had their attention I began to explain that we had tried every satellite channel to find the game they wanted to see but unfortunately none of the networks we had which included all the major ones were showing the game……………there was silence for a few moments and then……………….one of the Barbie’s started crying……………..yep………….crying. It was as though someone had pulled the cord in her back and she had become “Sobbing Barbie.”…………….and you know what………….I felt sorry for her……………..I don’t know why………………..maybe it was the big blue eyes looking at me…………..but I actually felt sorry for her.

It was because of ” Sobbing Barbie ” that I tried to do something else for them…………..I called the Internet Café manager and allowed them to use the Internet free of charge to listen to the game on the Internet. When I arranged this and came back to the lobby to tell them this was the best I could do it was met by mostly thanks………..especially from the Barbie’s. However, one young man who was sponsored by Budweiser said the strangest thing to me…………..this is word for word what he said to me in front of the Senior Purser and two officers………………”When I get off this boat I am going to make sure you lose your job……..do you know who I am”………….now, being a bit of sarcastic chap I answered ” Donald Trump……….Henry Kissinger…………..one of the Telly Tubbies”………….but this sarcasm was wasted on him and he carried on with “I am fu%$8ng Rick Partino’s God Son and he will make sure you are fired you beep beep beep beep beep.”

He said this with such venom and such hatred that I immediately realized that our meeting had come to an end and I asked security to escort this angry young man away………………they did.

I then led the remaining twenty something to the Internet Café and once everything was set up I left………….I thought I may get a word of thanks but no………..they were too busy ordering drinks, high fiving and calling each other Dude.

I returned to the cabin and as I sit here and write to you I have to say what a rude and arrogant lot they were. I have no idea who or what Rick Partino is, maybe he owns Kentucky………maybe he is head of the University…………..maybe………well anyway……..whoever you are Rick I have to tell you if that’s your God Son you may want to consider removing yourself from that title or at least giving him a lesson in manners before someone else does…………with a baseball bat.

All this because of a basketball match………….I know there is passion involved and as I said I think that is wonderful. However, to be so rude and to act like some of those kids tonight………well………..I know they were a minority and the majority I am sure are wonderful young people whenever I hear the words University of Kentucky I will think of the rude and arrogant people I met tonight……………….what a shame.

Oh by the way……………..the game was abandoned due to a severe storm…………..so after being called all the names you can imagine by Lifejacket Boy, Mr. Lanky Streak and the godson of Rick Partino…………..the game was never played. Whenever it is played………….I hope Georgia wins by 3000 points.

Lets do some questions and comments.

I wanted to say another big thank you. I know I didn’t say much about the guest who I was laughing and joking with on Sunday and who on Wednesday was taken from us. It was a shock and therefore all the words of sympathy you expressed have helped me and others get through this difficult time.
Anyway, thanks to you all and rather than me reply to every individual vote of sympathy I hope this universal thank you will let you all know how much it is appreciated.

I didn’t have time to take any photos today however here are the letters from the In Their Own Words Section.

march15letter1.jpg

march15letter2.jpg

march15letter3.jpg

Here we go with a very quick Q and A, which today will concentrate, on specific questions.

PEANUTS……………Thanks for asking about Alan, Joan, who I am happy to say is as ugly as ever and doing better every day. Thanks for all your nice words and I will promise very soon to slap on a photo of me and my extremely ugly mate. Hope all is well. Cheers.

KBISOK………….hello Karl. I have had many people who have cruised say to me that they miss reading about the blog when they are onboard. Now, obviously you can go to the Internet café and log on but your idea of a print out of the blog is something I have been meaning to do but never have. So, I hereby ask that if any guest who is onboard with me and wants to read the blog thingy leaves me a note at the Information desk and I will send copies to your cabin. I will also start placing laminated copies in the library as well. I hope this is something you will enjoy and thanks Karl for the reminder. See you in July. Cheers.

GACRUISER…………I wanted to pass my sympathies to you at the loss of your friend this week. To lose a friend at just 39 is a tragedy and we are thinking of you and the family she left behind.

VICKI………..I am indeed disembarking the ship on the 22nd but I will be around all day until the ship leaves so maybe I will get to see you. I certainly hope so. Have a great week and a safe journey to the vessel. Cheers.

MYRA BUSHNELL………..You asked if a guest passing away onboard was unusual. Well, certainly it is not something that happens every week but if you look at the industry as a whole……….maybe in fact it does………I don’t know. Sometimes it happens so unexpectedly though as this week it just shocks you so much. Anyway, thanks for your kind words of sympathy Myra.

You asked if the Carnival Splendor was completed yet. Well, she is on schedule and as we speak undergoing sea trials. Once the sea trials are complete she will return to the shipyard where the outfitting will continue. I will be showing you some photos very soon of our new lady. Thanks Myra and I wish you much luck on your weight loss program. Cheers.

DOROTHY SKI…………Thanks for reading the blog thingy all this time and congratulations on making your first ever posting. I am keeping all three of my chins up but I am really looking forward to Mr. Bell leaving town. It is always nice to hear from bloggers who have never posted before and I am very glad you did. My best to you and the family.

TERRY DUNNING……………Hello Mate. I will most likely be with you on the carnival Splendor when you cruise. I will be home for the holiday season but by the time you sail I will be back. I really did as you said ” want to let Mr. Stabilizer have it ” but I have found that sometimes kindness works better than a swift kick in the pants…………not always………….just sometimes. Anyway, thanks for the great words mate and I am glad that you appreciate my daily musings here on the blog thingy. Many thanks and best regards to you and the family.

PETER AND SHANNAN…………….You are correct. There were two medical emergencies during your February 23rd cruise. One involved a gentlemen whom we returned to St.Thomas in the middle of the night to disembark and another when we arrived in Miami early to get to hospital. I am sorry to tell you that one of the guests passed away the following day but the gentlemen we disembarked in St. Thomas is doing very well indeed. The medical staff saved his life…………and thanks to them and the Captain D’Aita for his quick assistance he is now doing so much better.

Thanks for thinking of me and I hope it will not be long before we are all cruising together soon. Until then please keep reading the blog thingy. Cheers.

DMINX……………A ferret cam………now that’s something I would pay to see. I can’t wait! Cheers.

MARK TWAIN AND A HALF…………….The joke was well-needed mate………….many thanks for sharing a smile. Cheers.

RUTH JAMISON………….It should not be too difficult to print out copies of the blogs for guests onboard. Maybe if there hundreds of blog readers than we can place copies in the Library for guests to read at their leisure. Anyway, I will find a way for you all to see what I am writing about the week you are onboard. Thanks Ruth and I hope you have a great weekend. Cheers.

OLD YEOMAN………….what a wonderful story about Chicho the Italian Chief Boson. I know him well and he is still with us……..still fishing……….still smoking those Italian Toscana cigars and still one of the great Carnival characters. I am sure he made quite an impression on your Dad and I hope you have many other stories like the one you told us today to share with us all. Thanks for doing so and thank you for the kind words as well. I hope you sail with me soon so we can chat about the old days in person. My best to you and the family.

JAKE SILVERBERG………..hello mate. Gerry Goodspeed is what we call a ” fly on entertainer.” This means that he will fly to one ship, do his show and then fly to another ship. It is a busy life but this way so many different guests get to see his show. Thanks Jake and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

BETH…………….I hope you have had some luck with airfare Beth since you’re last posting as that three day cruise to Amsterdam will be very special. Have a great weekend. Cheers.

KAREN TESSIER……….Nice to hear from you again. I can tell you that your cruise director for your Carnival Elation cruise will be Stuart Dunn. He is a big strapping lad from Australia and I know you will have a great time with him. As for your Carnival Conquest cruise in September I can’t say just yet who the CD will be. However, if you remind me a month or so before you sail I will be able to let you know. Once again thanks for the posting and I hope you continue to read the blog thingy whenever you can. Cheers.

CHERI,………………Will Carnival have any concerns on your husband getting a Fun Ship Freddy tattoo on his arm you asked…………absolutely not…………….are you serious and if he does we must have photos please. Keep us informed and send your husband our best…………Fun Ship Freddy says hi as well………..he is real………..honest.

LUCINDA MILLER……….You asked how young a baby can be before they are allowed to sail. Last month I remember we had a young baby of just six months sail…………on his own………..ok………with his parents. So the answer is, 6 months.

So, if indeed you are to raise your grand child then you may of course bring he/she along. It sounds like the next few months may be a challenge so I hope the blog brings you a little fun now and then and if there is anything else I can do for you I remain at your service. Cheers.

JIM…………….Who would play Heidi you asked on our Blog TV idea………….after much careful consideration I have decided that the part of my wife would be played by Heidi herself….she is unique. However, if the TV company wanted me to play myself then Heidi should be played by Jessica Simpson, Uma Thurman or the Miller Light twins.

Thanks Jim and hope all is well.

CRUISINSUE……….I am embarrassed to tell you that the Port Of Miami charge…………….$20 per day for parking cars and bikes in the secure Port of Miami car lot………………….that’s $140 for a seven day cruise. You may want to investigate one of the off pier parking lots opposite the port which maybe cheaper. Let me see what I can find out. My best to you and the family.

FLIP FLOP CRUISE QUEEN…………Still no news on Maria. I know she finished her surgery last week but to date I have heard nothing. Lets hope and pray that she is doing well. I will let you know as soon as I hear anything and thank you as always for your kindness.

RAY MCTEAGUE…………..I just wanted to say a big thank you to you and Deb for that wonderful posting. I know you have written in some time so I wanted to take this chance to send our best regards to you and to say how nice it was to hear from you. Please write soon and I will try and rest …………….sometime this year. Cheers mate.

NJOYNDRIDE………………What a beautiful posting and your love of life and cruising was obvious for all to see. I see you met Storming Norman in your travels and also celebrated many special family moments together. I am so glad that after all this time you decided to post and I hope you will do so many more times. Thanks for all the kind words and I will indeed have a Milky Bar and a Curly Wurly when I get home in your honour. My best to you and all the family.

That’s all for now. There were many comments I did not reply to but on the next posting I will reply to them all once again.

So, another cruise is over. When I look back at this week it’s easy to think that maybe the cruise was not so good but this would be wrong. Overall I think it was excellent.

Yes, there were one or two incidents involving some of our younger guests but they were minimal. The weather was beautiful all week and every guest I spoke to told me they had enjoyed the cruise so very much.

I met some great people…………Al Gaylord who saved the world during WW2……………….Allen Young who had lost a limb but not his sense of humor and love of life……………..I also met a lady who left us mid cruise……………and although it has been a great week full of fun and sun……………..the one thing I shall remember always from this voyage is how precious life is. This cruise therefore is dedicated to a special lady…………….who I will never forget.

Goodnight

Your friends

John and Heidi

P.S.

Georgia beat Kentucky tonight…………..I have nothing else to say………………except…………woohoo !

Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.

css.php