There are certain things in life that have a huge build up and then once experienced are a major disappointment. …….my first proper kiss for example. My mates had told me what to do and I was so excited to “snog” a girl called Helen…….we did and for me it was a huge let down. Her tongue was as rough as an armadillo’s and because she had just had a cigarette it was like kissing the inside of a packet of Camels…….I was a very disappointed 27 year old.

So many people have told me that the Queen Mary 2 is the greatest, grandest most incomparable vessel in the world.

Well I having just spent the last three hours onboard I have to agree…she is the most amazing, spectacular indescribable, stunning vessel……in the world. I have always wanted to visit this icon of the seas and now I have……….and it was brilliant.

As I write I am sitting on a boat in the river waiting for the Queen Mary and Queen Victoria to sail and sail past the legend herself…..The Queen Elizabeth 2.

Is there a luckier man than me…….well apart from the man who does Jessica Simpson’s laundry…….the answer is no.

Tomorrow I will dedicate an entire report on this ship and the experience of seeing the three ladies of the ocean together…..something I will never forget.

Please excuse my short raspberry blog today

By the way, that girl Helen I kissed………she became a Nun!


Hi, I’m John, and this is my blog. So please don’t mistake my opinions — or those of my dear friends, fans or commenters — for those of Carnival Cruise Line or Carnival Corporation. My apologies in advance for anything I may say that upsets you, but this disclaimer covers Carnival and puts the blame directly on me………….. bugger.